Progressive Gun Control Freudian Psychobabble

Hand gun controlCredit: DreamstimeOver at the progressive commentary site, Buzzflash, Mark Karlin explains why so many American men cling to their guns:

You won't find anyone willing to dare say it much in the media, but a good percentage of the white men who oppose gun control of any sort – and who back measures that would even allow alleged terrorists and straw purchases for drug dealers to buy guns – are just afraid that without their guns, their phallic power will be reduced to size.   

You can feel at least temporarily reassured when a long-barreled assault weapon compensates for just another average manhood; it's an irresistable testosterone high to the beleaguered white male.

Call this Freudian psychobabble analysis ....

OK. It's Freudian psychobabble analysis.

Whole column is not worth reading.

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  • JW||

    Whole column is not worth reading.

    Thanks for taking that bullet for us, Ron.

  • CatoTheElder||

    The bozo writes, "long-barreled assault weapon compensates for just another average manhood" but then illustrates his point with a picture of handguns.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    Mark Karlin clearly has penis envy.

  • Numeromancer||

    It's worse: he has penis-envy envy.

  • ||

    Wouldn't the converse be true (if we accept his "logic") that if a bunch of people who want "sensible" gun control are simply doing so because they are not able to compensate for penis size by buying a gun... because they can't afford Big Bertha?

    Turnabout's fair play, I think.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    I want guns so I can keep idiot Feudians* in check.

    *redundant

  • Ted S.||

    I'm eating a cake made of cellular peptides.

  • Randian||

    How risque.

  • Professional Target||

    Short proteins? OK...

  • Hugh Akston||

    With mint frosting?

  • BelowTheRim||

    That is what he is here for.

    On the lighter side, I still need to purchase a gun in my home state of Ohio.

    Anyone familiar with Ohio laws and regs willing to advise me on CCW and the like?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    I believe they require proof of training for CCW, and refuse to reciprocitize with PA for that reason.

  • crashland||

    Yeah they do, which is why I got one from Utah to supplement my PA LTCF. They are also a "must inform" state, so if you are carrying you have to tell the cop who stopped you.

  • Guillotined||

  • BelowTheRim||

    Thanks Guillotined.

    Now to start to learn about specs of guns. And I have realized that gun specs run even deeper than golf club specs.

    Yay, drowning in research...my fav!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    It would seem the current public relations push for gun control support is in its painful death throes.

  • Bam!||

    Men hold onto their guns because if they didn't, something like this might happen.

  • Hyperion||

    Bwaahhaaaahaaa.

    I bet that's the same thing that would happen to one Mark Karlin if he ever dared try firing a scary gun.

  • tarran||

    The guy manning the camera was an utter asshole for not warning her about her unbalanced stance.

  • Hyperion||

    But, that would have ruined all the funny.

  • ||

    The guy manning the camera was French an utter asshole for not warning her about her unbalanced stance.

  • ||

    Sometimes holding on to your gun isn't enough.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    If guns are substitute phalluses, what are substitutes for vaginas?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Sarlacc pits.

  • Atanarjuat||

    And/or Robert Redford's mouth.

  • ||

    High-capacity magazines.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    What are "high-capacity magazines"?

    Is that like when Cosmo has extra tips on how to rock his world tonight?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Magazines that hold more than zero bullets.

  • ||

    Don't be ridiculous. Cosmo is never as big as Vogue.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    So Vogue is longer and harder to read?

  • ||

    It is. And yes, it's also better.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Looking at Cosmo covers as a kid, I always wondered why women read a magazine clearly aimed at men.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    Essence must be huge, then.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Sasha Grey is high-capacity.

    Or so I've heard.

  • JW||

    Breech loaders.

  • Hugh Akston||

    I almost loaded my breeches yesterday after my first experiment with sriracha scrambled eggs.

  • SKR||

    substitute vagina? i think that's a Prius.

  • entropy||

    If guns are substitute phalluses, what are substitutes for vaginas?

    Toy breed puppies wearing baby clothes.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Sorry, entropy, but I think SKR provided the correct answer.

  • Professional Target||

    Toy breed puppies wearing baby clothes.

    My sister showed up to Easter dinner yesterday with her shih tsu with a damn pink glittery tutu on it, complete with spaghetti shoulder straps. And she has the gall to complain about money.

    Oh yeah, after it ate, she picked it up and burped it.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    You are all wrong. There is no substitute for vaginas!

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    Chicks try to substitute for way more things than men do.

  • derpules||

    Justin Bieber

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Whereas weaponized drones have been characterized as strongly vaginal.

  • Pro Libertate||

    So women and non-whites who own guns are, well, what?

  • Spoonman.||

    Not relevant to the narrative and not to be considered.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I suppose they could be taking testosterone supplements. Maybe it's in the water?

  • ||

    Duh, all women have penis envy.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Okay, so it's women who are the problem, after all. I see.

  • Hyperion||

    It took you this long to figure that out?

  • Pro Libertate||

    I was educated in the United States.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    And we're back to Freud!

    +1 cigar

  • Pro Libertate||

    Who said that the most psychologically balanced people are those who kill their fathers and have sex with their mothers. Which is bullshit, because Episiarch.

  • ||

    Is this supposed to be a compliment?

  • Pro Libertate||

    No, it's a complement.

  • ||

    That's how I took it...

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    That's how I took it...

    On your back?

  • Hyperion||

    So women and non-whites who own guns are, well, what?

    Victims, not because of what they own, but because of white men, no matter what.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Armed white men or unarmed white men

  • Pro Libertate||

    ?

  • Hyperion||

    Both. It's just victims all the way down...

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    It's especially strange since all but one of my guns have black barrels, unlike my own, er, barrel.

  • Loki||

    That's because you secretly wish you were like a black man. It's all right there.

  • shamalam||

    Do Derringers count?

  • entropy||

    So women and non-whites who own guns are, well, what?

    Acting white.

  • GILMORE||

    Pro Libertate| 4.1.13 @ 2:51PM |#

    So women and non-whites who own guns are, well, what?<?I

    DUH, DELUDED AND BRAINWASHED BY THE CAUCASIAN PATRIARCHY!? THOSE PEOPLE DONT ACTUALLY *THINK FOR THEMSELVES*!!

  • Pro Libertate||

    If I'm in some sort of elite ruling class, I feel I should have a bigger house and more servants. Well, any servants.

  • crashland||

    If I SBR my AR, what is the effect on the size of my phallus?

  • Rasilio||

    So wait, today I do not own a gun (primarily because of a lack of need and their expense) and this is somehow a signal that I am secure in my sexuality including being comfortable with my (completely average) manhood.

    However, if tomorrow I were to come into some money and buy a gun (hey target shooting is fun) it means all of a sudden I have become insecure about my manhood?

    How precisely does this work?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Mid-life crisis.

  • JW||

    Tell us about your feelings on shooting your mother.

  • Pro Libertate||

    My mother?

  • JW||

    Episiarch's mom.

  • ||

    When you say "shoot", you mean "inject", right?

  • JW||

    I refuse to redefine the word.

  • ||

    That would require government force. I thought you claimed to be libertarians???

  • Pro Libertate||

    I thought he was decanted?

  • JW||

    SHHHH! We were waiting until he was older to tell him he was adopted.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I thought he was adapted.

  • ||

    WHO IS MY REAL MOMMY?

  • Pro Libertate||

    You were gestated in a cow. The semen came from the floor of a "movie" theater.

  • ||

    "The only thing bull semen has ever done for me is activate my gag reflex."

  • ||

  • Pro Libertate||

    Eeeewwww. That's a thing?

  • ||

    I saw it referenced a few times on Savage Love when I could stand reading Dan Savage. I'm clearly going to the wrong parties because I've never seen it.

  • Loki||

    What. The. Fuck.

    I can honetly say I was better off not knowing about that.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    Yes, it'll be nice to take that load on off your chest.

  • SKR||

    Let me tell you about my mother. ::blam::

  • Generic Stranger||

    You're asking for the logic behind what is basically a 4th grade schoolyard taunt. There is no logic, only juvenile bullshit.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

  • fish_remote||

    Holy Shite!!! Projection thy name is Karlin!

    When's the last time your felt it move Mark?

    http://stopimperialism.org/int.....-06-26-12/

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    <marquee tags still work? Win.

    And for some Reason the squirrels like &lt; but not &gt;.

  • Hyperion||

    Holy bejeebus. What an impotent looking hippy reject.

    Even if it could move, no one would go near it. I bet this guy hasn't took a bath since 1963.

  • ||

    Well, duh, dude. Projection is the lifeblood of TEAM BLUE.

  • geekster||

    Jon Corzine's less successful twin?

  • fish_remote||

    ...you felt it move....

    Fuck!

  • Seamus||

    I wonder what Karlin would make of the fact that I'm a white male who was brought around to my current gun rights position by reading arguments of the Black Panther Party circa 1970.

  • GILMORE||

    You have a secret desire for black dicks

    Duh

  • fish_remote||

    I think you'd be treated to that ultimate lefty trumper of logical argument....false consciousness.

  • entropy||

    Is this dude white? Is he suggesting that white men have small penises as a racial thing? How many white penises has he seen, anyway?

  • Atanarjuat||

    Well, I've watched a shitload of porn, and among the thousands of erect penises I've seen (kinda weird when I say it that way), east Asian men definitely have smaller penises and should therefore have the highest rate of gun ownership.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

  • Enough About Palin||

    No doubt quite a few.

  • Hugh Akston||

    He's worried about drug dealers having guns. Of course he's white.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    With Karlin it's dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick!

    How many dicks it that?

    Alot!

  • ||

    Worker: You don't think they're...dickin' around over there, do you?

    Mr Wong Burger: I doubt it. They're professional dick hunters. They crave dick, as we all do.

  • Swamp Think||

    Do I have to be the one? Nobody else is gonna say it? Fine.

    It's dicks.

    All.

    The.

    Way.

    Down.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trR5ROuf1Uk

  • Hugh Akston||

    He's seen a barrel of pickles in his day.

  • GILMORE||

    Colion Noir would ask, "OK. What about Black men who 'cling to their guns'?"

    http://www.youtube.com/user/MrColionNoir

    Oh, but see, 'Progressives' aren't racist... no = they know white people are the bad, and the black is the victim... poor Colion has simply been brainwashed by right wing media into self-hatred...

  • SumpTump||

    Sometimes dude you jsut have to smack them on down dude.

    www.GimmeAnon.tk

  • Enough About Palin||

    SumpTump, I'm going to sine your pitty on the runny kine!

  • ||

    These people think an awful lot about my dong.

  • ||

    Well, it is a horror from beyond space. That merits some thought.

  • BakedPenguin||

    "...[the penis] he saw was abnormal, non-Euclidean, and loathsomely redolent of spheres and dimensions apart from ours."

  • ||

    DONGTHULU FHTAGN

  • Swamp Think||

    The Donger needs FOOD!

  • ||

    So you should really transfer it to some currency more appropriate for pre-9pm conversation....

    currency jokes too esoteric?

  • Spokanite||

    ...actually a lot of the comment on this thread seem to prove Karlin's point.

  • Brandon||

    He doesn't have a point. His entire column is lefty ego-stroking. "I don't have a gun, therefore my penis is sufficient regardless of what those sluts all said." Even the commenters at truth-out don't buy into this bullshit. Good to know you do, though.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    And what point might that be?

    That Karlin is fixated on penises and identifies with women and derides what he considers "phallic objects" to deny his love and adoration for the D?

  • Jordan||

    Derp.

  • entropy||

    Shit like this makes me want to flash people.

    It should be socially acceptable if someone accuses you of having a small penis to whip it out and demand they measure it.

  • ||

    I had a friend who had an overly large, raised truck (in the 'burbs, not for work). Anytime someone made a joke about him having a tiny penis he'd drop trou. It was an effective way to stop the jokes.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Kind of strange that white men would want a black phallus. Haven't seen many guys with pink guns at the range.

  • fish_remote||

    You should get out more!

  • Hugh Akston||

    Can someone tell me exactly what is wrong with drug dealers buying guns? Shit, if I were a drug dealer, I wouldn't step out of the house without packing. You never know when your customers are going to get the brilliant idea to get the hookup without paying for it. And Galt knows the cops aren't going to be any help.

  • some guy||

    And how, exactly, is a law against criminals owning guns going to stop criminals from owning guns. What, they're going to follow gun laws while ignoring substance laws?

  • thom||

    I think they're more worried about other dealers stealing their shit/territory/money than they are about doped up drug addicts trying to jack them.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Whole column is not worth reading.

    But let's do it anyway!

    The reality is that for many of the gun "culture warriors" (and remember that they have the gun industry with a profiteering motive egging them on through the NRA and other gun groups), they are standing at the edge of a cliff with the multi-cultural hordes surrounding them, even governing them. And women are now supervising them in the workplace or in the same jobs as they do, if they are employed. And many women are now sexually independent and don't put up with a male sense of sexual prerogative.

    So by owning a gun, you are, in fact, a racist, a misogynist, and you have a little penis.

    Rational discourse FTW!

  • ||

    and remember that they have the gun industry with a profiteering motive egging them on through the NRA and other gun groups

    They fucking love this meme lately. I never remember seeing it before.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Profit is evil, Warty. Windfall profits are even more evil. Excess windfall profits are the most evil thing of all.

    Not like GE lobbied the government hard and acted through several interest groups and had NBC run puff pieces on the glories of CFLs to create a market for its product.

    No sir, only EVIL capitalist running-dogs seek profit.

  • GILMORE||

    ..."and remember that they have the gun industry with a profiteering motive egging them on..."

    ...sweet, sweet, evil profits!

    They seem to think that Teh Corporshuns are somehow 100% responsible for How People Think... and that no Right Thinking individual would ever come to these 'pro-gun' views on their own. *So what* millions of people donate to the NRA (50% of their revenues come from individuals?? anecdotal)... they're brainwashed!!

    Why Progtards are so offended by "companies making money and defending their interests" remains completely beyond me. Its somehow coded into their DNA so early that they can never consciously consider why that's necessarily a bad thing.

  • ||

    Or else somebody's projecting a whole lot. Which do you think it is?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Leftist tolerance is the most tolerant of all possible tolerances.

  • Hyperion||

    Reading that tripe, this guy could be Tony. Really, he sounds exactly like him.

  • Hyperion||

    And if you wonder why he's such a self-loathing piece of dung, click on the link upthread for a pic of him. It's pretty self explanatory. No self respect or dignity at all.

  • tarran||

    they are standing at the edge of a cliff with the multi-cultural hordes surrounding them, even governing them.

    This is the kernel of his argument, and frankly is a beautiful, text book example of the inner fear driving a significant portion of progressivism.

    Their racism and ritual invocation of the most childish ethnic stereotypes is an expression of the Progressive fear of alien cultures and desire to destroy them either by violent suppression or by incorporating the children of that culture into their own or by erecting barriers to keep them away.

    The really pathetic thing about these guys is that they seem to lack the cognitive ability to think like other people. They can only imagine how they themselves would be thinking if they behaves as the people in these alien cultures do. Perhaps why they fear people who don't think as they do.

  • entropy||

    They can only imagine how they themselves would be thinking if they behaves as the people in these alien cultures do. Perhaps why they fear people who don't think as they do.

    Unfortunately that's not just the progs, it's most everyone.

  • Loki||

    Over at the progressive commentary site, Buzzflash

    Another one??? Jesus titty-fucking Christ how many "progressive commentary" sites does the world really need?

  • some guy||

    At least one for every progressive.

  • fish_remote||

    SPLITTER!!!

  • Loki||

    Well a lot of them to be intent on turning their facebook pages into their personal commentary and opinion blogs. Which says a lot about how highly they think of their own opinions.

  • thom||

    Interestingly, they get really upset when any of their facebook friends disagree with their bullshit. They'll say things like "I can't believe that I'm friends with people who believe XXX". If that's the case then: (1) Why write it in the first place if they assume that everybody agrees with them; (2) If they're writing to persuade, why do they get upset when engaged on a topic?

  • Adam.||

    0.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    Paternalists hold on to their demands of regulation because they fear losing the gratification they get from telling everybody what to do.

  • Loki||

    At least the comments are, so far at least, of this variety:

    Dave Pavlotos
    I'm a liberal that believes in gun control, but this may be one of the dumbest articles out there......

    There's definately some compensation for shortcomings going on here, but I'm pretty sure it's not what the author want's us to believe.

    Carl Timothy Smith
    Just dumb!

    muzzlethumper
    The author of this article needs to get a real job because he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about when it comes to the male psyche. Man up bitch.

    That last one has to be my favorite. When someone at a progressive site is telling you to "man up bitch" you have to be the beta-ist of beta males.

  • entropy||

    Delta male.

  • ||

    It's called an omega, you noob.

  • ||

    No, see, it's just evidence that those white males can't be real men without phallic firearms, they've forgotten how. That comment proves it, you see.

  • Jordan||

    This is rich coming from a movement whose adherents think it's reasonable to suspend a kid for shaping a pop-tart into a gun.

  • GILMORE||

    They want to make sure kids develop a healthy relationship with their penises... by emasculating them.

    Pop Tarts one day.... shooting up schools the next. It Happens!

  • SugarFree||

    GIANT BALLS!

  • DrAwkward||

    I've taken a number of pistol classes (including CCW) over the past year and I can attest to the fact they're 35%-40% women. So...penis envy?

  • GILMORE||

    They want black cock. Gun = closest thing.

  • DaveSs||

    Wonder how the author would account for the fact that the #1 most commonly sold caliber of ammo is the .22LR

    Surely if white males bought guns to compensate for inadequate phallus the .50BMG would be #1 in sales.

  • ||

    Implying the author knows what .22LR is...

  • derpules||

    or what a man is.

  • Ted Levy||

    So apparently Karlin believes men never purchase Snubnose .38s...

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