Big Bird Wants You to Eat Better, Theme Park Dumping Health Insurance for Some, Senator Gives Drone Kill Figures: P.M. Links

  • Would you take diet advice from this fat-ass?Source: Sesame WorkshopThe notably pear-shaped Big Bird has joined Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity Let’s Move campaign. Maybe they’ll suggest kids eat rocks to aid digestion like many birds do.
  • Not unlike taxpayer-funded sports stadiums, terminals for cruise lines get local subsidies, and people are questioning whether the alleged economic benefits actually outpace the costs.
  • Thanks to restrictive Affordable Care Act guidelines that ban coverage caps, Universal Orlando will be dropping health coverage for its part-time workers at the end of 2013. The ACA is also getting some of the blame for Planned Parenthood shutting down two abortion-providing clinics in Iowa.
  • Sen. Lindsey Graham told a Rotary Club group that America has killed 4,700 people with drones. That number might actually be low because he may have only been talking about the covert drone strikes and not including the military’s use of them.
  • Illinois continues to keep pace with California’s economic ills by reporting terrible returns for its public pension funds for 2012.
  • Outgoing Defense Secretary Leon Panetta claims 800,000 civilian defense employees will be furloughed if the sequester is triggered. It’s amazing how much of the government appears to be paid for with that one tiny, little chunk of spending that would be cut.

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The notably pear-shaped Big Bird has joined Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity Let’s Move campaign.

    Take THAT, Romney. You BMI queen.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Man, Scott "Love Shack" Shackford is such a catty bitch!

  • Scott S.||

    I would never talk about real people this way, incidentally, given that I'm not exactly the sveltest guy in any room.

  • Tonio||

    Grr...

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Oh, don't be coy! We all need to indulge our inner Blackwell from time to time.

  • A Serious Man||

    The notably pear-shaped Big Bird has joined Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity Let’s Move campaign. Maybe they’ll suggest kids eat rocks to aid digestion like many birds do.

    Who she needs to go after is that perfidious Swedish Chef!

  • ||

    Whatever they long since got cookie monster:

    A cookie is a sometime food

  • ||

    I'm still waiting for the day when Snuffalupagus finally has his inevitable psychotic break and strangles Big Bird with his trunk and then partially eats him before stuffing what's left into Oscar's trash can, and then wandering down the street going "Bird! Bird, where are you?"

  • $park¥||

    Dude, Snuffalupgaus is imaginary. Think Fight Club.

  • db||

    I know this because Snuffy knows this.

  • ||

    They made him "real" a number of years ago. Probably around the same time Cookie Monster stopped eating cookies and Bert and Ernie were no longer gay.

  • ||

    Don't be silly Epi, Bert and Ernie are clearly just man-spinsters, or confirmed bachelors or something.

  • ||

    Actually, I was wrong, they were lesbians. My mistake.

  • db||

    Bert's buzzcut is a dead giveaway.

  • Killazontherun||

    They made them cousins one episode years ago. Cousins, NTTAWT!

  • ||

    WHAT!? Oh well, it's not like they'd be making big-eared, small-handed babies or anything.

  • Loki||

    Damn, I liked it better when Big Bird was a schizophrenic who suffered from visual and auditory hallucinations, The Cookie Monster was an unrepetant cookie addict (and I'm sure the "cookies" were just a euphamism for drugs), the Count was clearly suffering from OCD, Bert and Ernie were out of the closet homosexuals, and Oscar the Grouch was a homeless vagrant with obvious anger management problems.

  • ||

    Great description, but you forgot that Mr. Hooper was a pedophile, Grover was ADD-suffering fantasist with delusions of being a super hero, Guy Smiley was an oleaginous used car salesman, and Telly Monster was Woody Allen.

  • Zeb||

    You take that back about Mr. Hooper!

    The rest sounds accurate, though.

    You know what I really hate? Elmo.

  • Loki||

    And Elmo was the victim of severe brain trauma.

  • BakedPenguin||

    This is relevant here.

  • ||

    No, everything we described was during the magic time before Elmo rose from the pits of Hell and possessed the soul of the show with his rancid evil. That's right, Elmo is a demon. His actual name is Andromalius.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    What about the "psst...hey...come here!" guy with the trench coat who was always furtively trying to sell stuff...or am I making him up?

  • db||

    A NICKEL!!??

    Ssshhhh.... riiight.

  • Almanian!||

    Grover was always my fave. I had a Grover doll until someone stole him in college. Fags.

  • ||

    I will admit to having had a Super Grover t-shirt with his emblem and everything. In my 20s.

  • ||

  • Pro Libertate||

    Hey, now, none of that. Fred Rogers saved my dad in the Nam. Him and Captain Kangaroo.

  • ||

    Actually that's not true anymore. Other characters interact with Snuffy now.

    From wikipedia:

    For many years, Big Bird was the only character on the show who saw Mr. Snuffleupagus, but later in the 17th season (1985) he showed his friends on Sesame Street his "imaginary" friend so they believed him.
  • Enough About Palin||

    "his "imaginary" friend"

    So that's what he calls it.

  • ||

    Between that and Bert&Ernie;, Sesame Street was a little...um...ahead of its time.

  • ||

    GODDAMMIT AMPERSAND COLON

  • ||

    SEMI-

    FUCK YOU PUNCTUATION MARK NAMES

  • db||

    That's crap. I always assumed Big Bird was a junkie and Snuffy showed up when he was in particularly bad need of a fix.

  • db||

    Apparently we could get most of the government we need with only $85 billion.

  • Brandon||

    We could definitely get most of the government we need with only $85 billion. Unfortunately, that's not what assholes like Panetta are trying to get at.

  • Jam||

    why would Panetta bite the hand that feeds? he probably has a lucrative consulting job lined up with MIC.

  • $park¥||

    Oh 3-D printer, is there anything you can't do?

    With 3D printing, it seems the things you can make are limited only by your imagination. The latest innovation: a 3D-printed artificial ear.

    The ear, which looks and functions like a normal human ear, was created by squirting living cells into an injection mold. Over the course of three months, each ear grew cartilage in the shape of its mold. These ersatz ears could replace the ears of children with congenital deformities, researchers report online today (Feb. 20) in the journal PLOS ONE.

  • db||

    We're missing the obvious use for 3D printers: duplication of my magnificent genitalia for use by famous actresses everywhere.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    What about duplication of famous actresses everywhere for use with your genitalia?

  • db||

    It's a supply and demand thing.

  • Loki||

    They have those. Or at least they have fleshlights modeled after porn actresses vag's. Not sure about non-porn actresses or other celebs. Probably not.

  • Andrew S.||

    Obviously you've never seen Elecro-Gonorrhea : The Noisy Killer.

  • Xenocles||

    They already have kits for that. cf "Clone-a-willie" or something.

  • db||

    Already done. For some reason though, in the instructions they recommend against mailing it to famous actresses. I figured it was because the Post Office doesn't let you mail lethal weapons.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Close. It's considered biological warfare to send chlamydia via the mail.

  • Teaching Student||

    That's pretty damn cool.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    What?

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Nice. ;)

  • Enough About Palin||

    "These ersatz ears could replace the ears of children with congenital deformities"

    Pissed off deaf cultists in 3...2...1...

  • Zeb||

    Ug, those people are the worst. Especially the ones who want their children to be deaf too.

    It's really nice that deaf people have their own interesting culture and language and all, but being able to hear is still better than not by a long shot.

  • Almanian!||

    *signs vigorously - realizes that doesn't work over teh internetz*

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The ACA is also getting some of the blame for Planned Parenthood shutting down two abortion-providing clinics in Iowa.

    Progressive on progressive violence. When will it end?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    When some environmental sabotages a nuclear plant.

  • NeonCat||

    Pyramids of skulls beside the corn fields where we all work for the greater good?

  • BakedPenguin||

    The Khmer Rouge were pretty eco-friendly.

  • NeonCat||

    And you can't say they didn't believe in equality and fairness.

  • Pro Libertate||

    What's your cover profession for the Year Zero? Mine is dung shoveler. I figure they'll leave me alone with that one.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Ooh, good one. I was going to go with university professor, but I'm going to have to re-think that answer.

  • Pro Libertate||

    No, no, they'll execute you right away. Yes, you'd be politically correct, most likely, but they're not going to like anyone who isn't common enough.

  • Matrix||

    Can you eat your own shit?

    So I guess I can't really tell someone to "eat shit and die" anymore... 'cause they won't die.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Just don't say "eat shit causing you to die" and you'll be fine.

  • NeonCat||

    It's Gawker - they're not dead yet, are they?

    Oh, they just serve it. That's right.

  • Xenocles||

    I don't think the expression implies a causal relationship.

  • Matrix||

    well, we could hope so, in some circumstances.

  • Ornithorhynchus||

    They can still die if they choke on it.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Sen. Lindsey Graham told a Rotary Club group that America has killed 4,700 people with drones.

    That seems like a lot. Are we sure we didn't miss Judgment Day and those are hunter-killers?

  • Matrix||

    Medical Bills are Killing Us

    Warning: An extremely long read

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    From a FB post, which links to the CNN version of this story:

    Republicans are right.

    The Health care system is perfectly fine.

  • Matrix||

    except Republicans have never said it is fine. They've been trying to get reforms in, but both sides have completely different ideas about what reforms should be taken.

    First, get rid of government control of medical care.
    Second, end the practice of states certifying health insurance companies. Allow more competition in the market.
    Third, stop using insurance for routine everyday shit. Treat it like car insurance for major events, not simple things like going in for a check up.

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    My problem is going to FB. I know I am going to see stupid shit like this but yet I cannot seem to help myself. This guy is also pretty cool, if only his political views didn't get in the way of me liking him more.

  • Andrew S.||

    I'm surprised that it's a halfway decent read. It actually points out problems with Obamacare and it lays into the AARP and other "liberal entitlement groups" for refusing to allow any talk of upping payments by seniors.

    That article reminded me that I'm probably going to be getting the bills soon from when my daughter fell and broke her wrist. Should be fun.

  • A Serious Man||

    New York mom arrested for child endangerment after allegedly hiring strippers to perform at her son's 16th birthday party.

    What is this country coming too when being the cool mom can get you arrested?

  • Matrix||

    they weren't really strippers, though. they never got naked, according to the story.

    Still, I wish I had a mom like that when I was 16.

  • A Serious Man||

    I'm still trying to wrap my head around the child endangerment charge. How exactly does making this kid the most popular kid in school (already having a hot mom can't hurt) harm his welfare?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Did you check out the picture? Chlamydia of the nose is no laughing matter.

  • robc||

    Actually, it is.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Huh? Am I missing something?

  • Tonio||

    In Soviet Russia exotic dancer wrap herself around your head.

  • ||

    I thought that was half-life

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    So if they never stripped, then what's the crime? A clothed lap dance is pretty much how kids dance at the prom nowadays anyway.

  • ||

    The crime was outraging the local bluenoses.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    And yet, they'll crow about how they were able to take their special snowflakes on vacation with them to Trinidad during Carnival time.

  • Tonio||

    You can say that again. :P

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    So if they never stripped, then what's the crime? A clothed lap dance is pretty much how kids dance at the prom nowadays anyway.

  • Tonio||

    ASM: This was covered here at length earlier this week.

    Scalar: While I'm sure that many 16-yo boys have similar wishes, it's kind of Springer from an adult perspective. NTTAWWT, of course.

  • $park¥||

    The new power of Rand Paul?

    Paul also has another powerful ally in the establishment that could help him in 2016 – the senior Senator from Kentucky, Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell.

    One of McConnell's first moves to prepare for his own 2014 re-election campaign was to hire a former aide to Ron and Rand Paul as his campaign manager. A recent poll found Sen. McConnell leading Ashley Judd, the actress, by only 9 points. He needs Sen. Paul's help with turning out conservative voters.

  • A Serious Man||

    Yertle Turtle is going to be primary challenged by a Tea Partier in 2014, it'll be interesting to see where Rand's loyalties lie.

  • Chris Mallory||

    If it is a PPP poll, then McConnell is up by 20.

  • robc||

    Judd isnt going to run.

  • Mickey Rat||

    Once her affair with Wesley Crusher became general knowledge it was over.

    http://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/t206.asp

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Outgoing Defense Secretary Leon Panetta claims 800,000 civilian defense employees will be furloughed if the sequester is triggered.

    No, they won't.

  • JW||

    Will to!

    We'll be invaded and conquered by the Juggalo Army if we make these dangerous cuts!

  • ||

    They can coordinate on the ICP location aware social networking app!

    Because Juggalos need a dedicated Grindr.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    Don't dis the Juggalos Man, they're quite charitable. They give a fuck!

    Of note, a video search for "sugar slams super live toy drive" without the filter on will yield some creative results.

  • Matrix||

  • ||

    How does someone look in the mirror each day if inanimate objects scare the shit out of them? Oh wait, they're an animist so they're too stupid and superstitious to be embarrassed.

  • ||

    At least this sensible comment makes it onto the Gawker article:


    [GloriousPcMasterRace]

    "most terrifying thing on the internet"
    I dunno about that, I've been told that r/spacedicks is the most terrifying thing on the internet.
  • Coeus||

    How about we round them all up into "gun free" camps. There they can play and frolic with all the other retards, and feel completely safe while the biggest "camper" rapes them and takes their stuff.

  • NeonCat||

    I've been thinking: what if we make California an autonomous republic of the United States? They can become the progressive paradise they want to become, pass any laws they want, get federal funding on a per capita basis and if they manage to make more money from taxes they can keep that as well. All the proggies who are frightened of their fellow Americans can move out there and enjoy each other's company.

  • Coeus||

    We'd have to build a wall. Hey, this could work. Sell it as "infrastructure stimulus".

  • ||

    But when the president's plane crashes there, we won't have Snake Plisken to go in and save him!

    I like this idea.

  • db||

    Never work, because they understand the only way to make their socialist paradise last more than a decade, they need to sap the incomes of more people than just themselves. They won't admit it, but deep down they know it's a pyramid scheme.

  • Loki||

    There they can play and frolic with all the other retards, and feel completely safe while the biggest "camper" rapes them and takes their stuff.

    "So one day Mongo gets out of his cage..."

  • JW||

    I like Gawker, in the sense that writing for it makes it simpler to identify who should be cleansed from the genepool, for fouling it so.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    What scares me is this growing subset of gun culture. The people who want "kick ass" weapons that serve no real purpose and appeal to crazy and irresponsible people. I grew up hunting. I am fine with gun ownership for hunting, trap/target shooting, limited self defense. All of this can be accomplished with shotguns and rifles with a capacity of 3 rounds or less. There is absolutely no need for military style weapons, semi-automatics, ammo clips of any sort, or even handguns (outside of law enforcement).

    OK, fudd.

    WTF is "limited self defense"?

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    You just wound your rapist?

  • Loki||

    And in return your rapist only puts the tip in.

  • Matrix||

    I read that too, and I was like... wtf? Shitbags will always be shitbags. And that commenter is one.

  • Zeb||

    Guess what, Fudd? There is no need to hunt either. Try again.

  • Raston Bot||

    You miss 3 times.

  • Almanian!||

    If an Ar15 is the most terrifying thing you've seen, please don't google a Saiga-12 or an Ar10. Or Goatse. Or clown porn. Or that Rush Limbaugh sex tape.

    At least someone has perspective.

  • SweatingGin||

    Unsurprisingly, the libertarian-leaning Reddit has a strong gun culture, anchored by the /r/guns subreddit, with over 100,000 subscribers.

    WTF is libertarian about reddit? Maybe /r/libertarian and /r/anarcho_capitalism, but that's it. The rest of the place is a statist hellhole full of control freaks.

  • Virginian||

    Cannot stand Reddit. They act like they're some great forum for the ages, but they mercilessly downvote anything right wing. I mean DU and FreeRepublic say it flat out: either sing with the choir or be banned. But Reddit, like the media, acts like they're even handed and fair, when they're clearly not.

  • Rich||

    Researcher develop zombie cells

    And so it begins ....

  • ||

    Researcher Bryan Kaehr, a Sandia scientist, provided what could be the first ever scientific distinction made between a “mummy” and “zombie” cell.

    “King Tut was mummified,” said Kaehr, “to approximately resemble his living self, but the process took place without mineralization [a process of fossilization]. Our zombie cells bridge chemistry and biology to create forms that not only near-perfectly resemble their past selves, but can do future work.”

    Umm, if you're gonna nitpick mummified v. zombie, wouldn't petrified cells be a more accurate, but less attention grabbing term?

  • Stormy Dragon||

    So King Tut's cells saw an AR-15 on reddit?

  • Azathoth!!||

    No. Petrified cells would be just as inaccurate. These are silica replicas of cells. Any residual cell left after the silica absorption is evaporated from the silica copy.

  • Matrix||

    I've been telling people for 10 damn years that the Zombie Apocalypse will come!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Just like scientists to bring about a zombie apocalypse just when ammo is so hard to find.

  • Matrix||

    DHS is buying over a billion rounds. That's why. They're buying 5 for every man, woman, and child in this country.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Buy a shotgun. Buy a shotgun.

    /Biden

  • ||

    Fucking scientist...

  • db||

    We can't publicize the number of people killed with drones because that will give terrorists a goal for their retribution attacks. Graham is playing dangerous games with the safety of all Americans.

  • Brandon||

    That's fucking ridiculous. That would imply that our actions have some sort of consequences, which is of course impossible.

    -Neocon

  • A Serious Man||

  • Brandon||

    Flu Vaccine Generates Significant Social Security and Medicare Savings.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    Death panels. No Flu Vaccine for you.

  • $park¥||

    The Sheriff don't want to get shot.

    "First of all, to me that would be an act of tyranny," he told Jones. 'So the people in Milwaukee County do not have to worry about me enforcing some sort of order that goes out and collects everybody's handgun, or rifles, or any kind of firearm and makes them turn them in.

    "The reason is I don't want to get shot, because I believe that if somebody tried to enforce something of that magnitude, you would see the second coming of an American Revolution, the likes of which would make the first revolution pale by comparison."

  • Matrix||

    This Sheriff gets it. And if something like that happen, I hope he stands against tyranny.

  • Virginian||

    The very best thing for sheriffs like this to do is play the rope a dope.

    "Well gee golly there sir, I am trying to enforce your new federal gun control law, but I'm just a simple country sheriff. I sure could use some help. What's that? You already sent every federal agent to other local LE agencies to help them? Well I suppose we'll just muddle on the best we can here."

  • Rich||

  • ||

    That actually could be pretty interesting.

  • NeonCat||

    Conan O'Brien presents Biden's shotgun speech.

    http://teamcoco.com/video/joe-.....ooks-youth

  • NeonCat||

    In case you were wondering it's actually pretty funny, IMHO.

  • ||

    Has Sesame Street always been so statist? I mean, sure PBS is the PUBLIC Broadcasting Syndicate (the S might be wrong), but I remember watching when I was younger and being entertained and learning some a few things like counting and letters, but now I see the messages that they try to send and it's not just the "be nice to others" and Golden Rule type stuff anymore.

    Fortunately I don't have to worry about raising kids for some time, but are there any toddler-age shows that have good libertarian values? Or is the key to just get them hooked on reading early and leave TV alone?

  • ||

    No, it wasn't. When Jim was alive it almost solely concerned itself with teaching kids letters and numbers and to be nice and entertained them.

    You can get all the episodes of the original Muppet Show. It's still funny, and it achieved a genius level of having humor for kids, and then also humor for adults (that was even sexual and crude at times) that would fly over kids' heads but the adults would get. It's good stuff.

  • Tonio||

    There's a long history of childrens' entertainment having some adult jokes snuck in there. The classic Looney Tunes cartoons, for instance.

  • ||

    True, but I always felt the Muppet Show did it particularly well, especially since they had really talented guest stars. Watch the episode where John Cleese guest stars; it's great and the adult jokes are flying.

  • Tonio||

    S=System

  • ||

    Thanks. I originally typed out PBS and then started to write Public Broadcasting Corporation... thanks for nothing, Sesame Street!

  • Raston Bot||

    funded with a grant from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

    and by viewers like you!

  • NoVAHockey||

    Thomas the train actually has a song about "rules and regulations."

  • Enough About Palin||

    Every word out of Dora the Explorer's mouth gets me rock hard.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Wait, what?

  • Enough About Palin||

    At the risk of repeating what I have posted here a number of times over the years, I would pay ten grand to fuck Dora the Explorer up the ass. Ten. Grand.

  • ||

    Hey guys, what's going o...

  • Heroic Mulatto||

  • BakedPenguin||

  • Professor Booty||

    I'm 12 years old and what is this?

  • JW||

    He just wants her to call out his name, like she does with Map and Swiper.

  • ||

    I'm pretty sure they'll still throw an obscenity charge your way and put you on a list for underage fictional characters. (why must you exploit ink and paper so!)

  • Art Vandelay||

    The episode when Dora tries anal is fantastic.

  • Raston Bot||

    Sir Topham Hatt is a libertarian. He hates the new constable. He's also known as The Fat Controller in the UK which is typical socialist nonsense. I always play him when my son breaks out the trains (which is daily).

  • NoVAHockey||

    pretty sure it was you who asked ...my IPA turned out. not award winning, but a very drinkable, mildly hopped IPA. i'm very pleased with it and started a second batch -- an ale -- last weekend.

  • Raston Bot||

    Glad to here it. Enjoying your own beer is kickass.

    How many hours to get a 1 gallon batch from start to inside the fermenter? I really like the idea of nano batching to experiment.

  • Killazontherun||

    Ruthless Rye for the evening sip. I like it even more than Celebration though that is awesome stuff as well.

  • Zeb||

    Are they statist now? I don't think I've seen it in close to 30 years, so I have no idea. They did teach kids to obey crossing guards back then, does that count?

    I don't think that encouraging kids to get exercise and eat healthy food is particularly statist, even if Mrs. Obama is for it.

  • ||

    Maybe not openly statist, but very communitarian. Not respecting of individual property rights, that's what I recall from my recent attempts at watching the show while babysitting.

  • A Serious Man||

    I've seen things you wouldn't believe: Totally awesome images of solar flare.

  • Tonio||

    But have you done questionable things?

  • Pro Libertate||

    So you're a replicant. Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

  • A Serious Man||

    My mother? Let me tell you something about my mother...(pulls out gun and shoots Pro L).

  • Pro Libertate||

    I hope it was a shotgun and not an assault rifle.

  • A Serious Man||

    You'd think I'd be posting here if I could afford a real assault rifle?

  • Loki||

    The notably pear-shaped Big Bird has joined notably wookie shaped Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity Let’s Move campaign.

    FTFY. Nice Alt-Text, BTW. I LOL'd, and now my co-workers probably think I have Tourette's.

  • ||

    Catty, but definitely well executed.

  • NeonCat||

    I'll be so glad when the noble wookies are no longer compared to Mrs. Obama. She's just a middle aged woman who may or may not be a beard for her husband and has to direct her nagging somehow.

  • Enough About Palin||

    ". It’s amazing how much of the government appears to be paid for with that one tiny, little chunk of spending that would be cut."

    I too noticed that. Especially given that Barack and family continue with the lavish vacations on the public dime.

  • NeonCat||

    Vacations?! Those are fact-finding missions, dammit. Do you really think they can find out what's going on with the American people if they don't go out and make campaign speeches and mingle with regular, non-DC folks? Stay in Washington and be accused of ivory-towerism, go out and be accused of goofing off.

    They can't win. They just can't win.

  • Matrix||

    VA telling vets they can't have guns

    Let's see how many of them give a flying fuck what the VA says.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Pakistanis called Zero Dark Thirty a joke

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Considering Pakistan is, in itself, a bad joke, turnabout is fair play, I say!

  • db||

    Any word on their opinion of 911?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Any word on their opinion of 911?

    I believe their policy statement went something like this.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    I think he meant more like this.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    The AK obscures Flavor Flav's face.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    It looks like he just sat down at the piano in a hotel lobby, and started to plink away. Cool.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    That's pretty much what happened.

    They guy with the teeth and the giant clock is actually an autodidactic musical prodigy who taught himself piano at 5 and went on to master 15 other instruments.

  • Brandon||

    You read Cracked too?

  • db||

    Indeedy!

  • Matrix||

    Gun confiscation bill introduced in California

    Why do people want to live in that state, again?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    They're took weak to put up with a bit of snow.

  • Loki||

    They're the ones who gave the democraps a supermajority and the governorship. Enjoy your progresssive utopia, fuckers!

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Of course, the article is obfuscatory bullshit. All that's required to get your name on this list and have your rights abridged is to have a DV restraining order taken out against you or to have been picked up for supposedly being a threat to yourself or others.

    That's it.

  • Coeus||

    is to have a DV restraining order taken out against you

    VAWA. The gift that keeps on giving.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    The Winnipeg Police Service is spending a lot of taxpayer money on overtime for officers to ticket drivers.

    "Theyre stopping people for tail lights, for not having enough windshield wiper fluid," he said, adding he thinks the city is behind the push for tickets and revenue.

  • Matrix||

    how can you stop people for not having enough windshield wiper fluid? How would you even know prior to stopping someone. And hell, when was that ever a traffic violation?

  • Matrix||

    Oh wait, it's Canada... never mind

  • A Serious Man||

    Forget it Matrix, it's Canuckatown.

  • ||

    I have a Canadian "friend" who swears up and down that Winnipeg is the coldest place on Earth. Far colder than Kita-Akita City, Akita Prefecture, Japan (where we both lived for a time), where they have ZERO insulation for houses and the windchill gets to about -20 in winter.

  • Generic Stranger||

    Antarctica would like to have a word with him.

  • Coeus||

    Racist man request no black nurses for his baby, black nurse sues hospital.

    I guess she really wanted to have a fight with the nazi.

  • Zeb||

    Seriously, who sues for the right to be abused by some racist dickbag?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    You sue for money, bro.

  • Proprietist||

    Most boring NBA trade deadline ever...

  • Brandon||

    What? J.J. REDICK CHANGED HANDS!!! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!!

  • Dallas H.||

    As a Magic fan you are absolutely right.

  • Art Vandelay||

    Most boring sports league ever...

  • Coeus||

    I was watching CNN yesterday (yes, I know, but I was in a waiting room), and Rand Paul came on and explained that the cuts weren't actually cuts, just decreases in future expenditures. Wolf looked lost. I was amazed that that info got out on a major news network. I figured there was a blanket ban on telling the truth about this. Only other place I've seen it on TV is RT.

  • Pro Libertate||

    See, they'll allow crazy people to say whatever. They think Rand is insane. Literally.

  • ||

    You can't expect a major news anchor who interviews politicians for a living to know shit! His job is to get told what's what. They don't pay him to think.

    "See you at the party Richter!"

    (throws arms off platform)

  • Coeus||

    You can't expect a major news anchor who interviews politicians for a living to know shit! His job is to get told what's what.

    Yeah, but the complete lack of anyone doing a little arithmetic on something they talk about everyday just blows my mind. I had assumed that there was some kind of active directive to not acknowledge the truth. Turns out no, they're just idiots.

  • Loki||

    Occam's Razor.

  • Professor Booty||

    SCREWWWWW YOUUUUUUU

  • Brandon||

    Speaking of fake cuts, WaPo goes full retard on the "everybody is going to die if a penny is cut from the budget:

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....r/?hpid=z1

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    This is why if elected President I would call for a freeze in spending. Let the oppostion explain how a freeze is a cut.

  • Coeus||

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    Ugh, so many Gawker links today...

  • Heroic Mulatto||

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    Oh shit Mulatto, way to ruin my childhood memories.

    I'll just go back to listening to Eiffel 65 I guess...

  • Raston Bot||

    She was actually decent looking only six months ago...

    http://mugshots.mobi/utah/st-george/3709100

    Are we seeing a faces of meth progression?

  • Coeus||

    Yup. I mean, how hard is to get some sleep every few days? You can do that shit forever if you just get some fucking sleep occasionally.

  • BakedPenguin||

    she wasn't in love with him, she was just in love with his doggy style.

  • Killazontherun||

    Last night's Supernatural was about a warlock whose familiar was a doberman who could morph into a sexy black lady. The two were in love. The title, 'Man's Best Friend With Benefits.'

  • Coeus||

    An obabamcare special report:

    It begins...

    Jesus. These people are fucking shameless.

  • A Serious Man||

    Don't worry Coeus, state employee F. Uckface will decide what procedures you do or don't need.

  • Brandon||

    other civilized nations with higher stands of living than us.

    Fucking idiots.

  • Sudden||

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    So, I have a soft spot* for Asians, but I'm sorry to say that Ms. Huang's issue isn't her education, or even her age.

    Though shit, the "leftover women" thing is harsh.

    I might need to ask some of my friends if it's as bad as it sounds or if that's just an overly literal translation.

    *no, not like that

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    an excerpt from an article titled, Leftover Women Do Not Deserve Our Sympathy, posted on the website of the All-China Federation of Women in March 2011.

    It continues: "These girls hope to further their education in order to increase their competitiveness. The tragedy is, they don't realise that as women age, they are worth less and less. So by the time they get their MA or PhD, they are already old - like yellowed pearls."

    Wouldn't they already have been yel....forget it, too easy.

  • Matrix||

    If the chinese men don't want 'em (considering there is a large population disparity between men and women in China), then I think many of us Americans can take some of the ones they don't want... assuming they first meet the eye test.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    That's just it. How homely do you have to be to not get a man in China?

  • Proprietist||

  • Sudden||

    Now go home and get your fucking shinebox

  • Heroic Mulatto||

  • Almanian!||

    OT: I've decided to buy an M-1 Garand ILO an AR, since you can actually find them, and I can use the 30-06 ammo I already have. And 8 rds is pretty good, and addn'l CLIPS are readily available (8 or 5 round - we'll stick with 8). Was re-watching one of those Military Channel shows about it recently - it got me thinking.

    Now I gotta have one. Get my bonus in two weeks - then we go Garand hunting!

  • ||

    Join the Garand Collectors Association and then mail-order a few Garands from the CMP. No hunting necessary.

  • SweatingGin||

    Any place in particular you found a Garand? I'd love to find one, too.

    IIRC, some Garands can be finicky about .30-06 -- it was something like fancier high-powered ammo that would be fine in a bolt-action rifle could bend the op rod. I don't remember all the details, but might be worth checking into.

  • Almanian!||

    What Warty said - CMP is exactly where I was looking (along with a handful of other places - they looked the best)

  • SweatingGin||

    I've looked at CMP a bit before, and with Warty's link, that's a lot easier, since I don't have a current range membership. Cool, will be looking into that more tonight.

  • Drake||

    Careful with that 30-06 ammo. Garands cannot handle anything even slightly hot. The rod will bend from the heavier hunting rounds.

  • Coeus||

    I’M A FAT SMOKER AND I DESERVE THE SAME ACCESS TO HEALTH CARE AS ANYONE ELSE

    And at the end:

    Let us instead refocus our attention to the things that matter, that can cause real and actual change, like educating and supporting one another rather than shaming, providing access to good things in our government and communities rather than taking away, and making health care available to ALL PEOPLE, regardless of preexisting conditions, weight, or lifestyle habits.

    This is why it's a problem, you dumb bitch. THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH. People like you are why it's even a fucking issue.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Indeed. We should enslave all doctors and force them to work for free so the fat hog can smoke herself into COPD and myocardial infarction.

  • ||

    I'm starting to think that the internet has merely allowed all the sociopaths among us to find each other and band together so that they can treat everyone else like mere extensions of their consciousness and not human beings.

  • Drake||

    Sounds like she has the same access as everyone else. She just doesn't want to pay the market rate for the risk group she has placed herself in.

    I'm okay with her no being insured. I'm also okay with her dying young with untreated illnesses.

  • Coeus||

    She just doesn't want to pay the market rate

    Incorrect. She objects to an artificial rate in a law she was for.

    The Associated Press recently warned that starting next January, ”Millions of smokers could be priced out of health insurance because of tobacco penalties in President Barack Obama’s health-care law.”
  • Thane of Whiterun||

  • A Serious Man||

    NOT. CLICKING.

  • ||

    She has surprisingly mannish feet. I notice that before the hairy legs.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Why should reactions toward the decisions I make about my body, ones don’t affect anyone else, be full of disgust? Why does body hair fundamentally incite such responses of disgust, especially when it appears on women?

    If you're an ugly woman, feel free to be as hairy as you want. Matter of fact, knock a few teeth out of your head too for greater effect.

    Pretty women have a duty to the public, to shave their legs. It gives everything something to enjoy and increases the Happiness Quotient.

  • Brandon||

    Not as disgusting as the attention-whoring article about them.

  • Gbob||

    She says she doesn't have sex. One can't notice the possibility of cause and effect there.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "Sen. Lindsey Graham told a Rotary Club group that America has killed 4,700 people with drones."

    If only 1% of those people were children, then that means Barack Obama has killed more than twice as many children as Adam Lanza.

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    Radical feminism is a danger to women

    Let me be the first to point out that denying that lesbians can rape and have raped women is not only fucking insane but incredibly damaging to women who have been sexually assaulted by women. As I’ve stated in the Twitter conversation, reframing the term “violence against women” to “male violence” renders any violence against women from anyone other than a male person, completely invisible. Domestic violence and the sexual assault of women by women is under reported as it is.

    The screencapped Twitter convo is derptastic.

  • Sigivald||

    Outgoing Defense Secretary Leon Panetta claims 800,000 civilian defense employees will be furloughed if the sequester is triggered. It’s amazing how much of the government appears to be paid for with that one tiny, little chunk of spending that would be cut.

    $44 billion / 800,000 ~= $50k/each. Which isn't a bad salary, lots of places, not hardly.

    But that assumes that every single damned dollar of the Sequester was applied to civilian defense employees.

    If it's actually spread out, those guys must not make much money...

    (Actually, the real scandal might be having 800,000 of them in the first place; the US labor force is notionally 159 million, thus making half a percent of US workers civilian defense employees.

    I'm a hawk by inclination - especially compared to the evident norm in Reason comments - and that seems crazy.)

  • Matrix||

    I ran some calculations. I'll be losing $600/month. May will be worse since I get 3 pay checks that month. So it'll be about $900 that month. It'll be like I went down a pay grade for that 22 week period. It'll last from late April thru September.

    A lot of cuts are coming from getting rid of contractors. They are also cutting back repairs, which is a disaster for readiness.

  • Drake||

    Yes - How are people who haven't been paying attention not shocked that we have 800,000 CIVILIANS in the DOD? Holy fuck, what do they all do?

    We are about to return to the Jimmy Carter days of no ammo for target practice, put pensions for 800k. Fuck.

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