Armstrong’s Olympic Medal Revoked, Aurora Theater Reopens, Pension Reform Survives in Florida: P.M. Links

  • Lance Armstrong has been stripped of the bronze medal he won at the 2000 Olympics in Australia. He has been ordered to return it.
  • Now that first-responders have publicly testified to what they witnessed at the deadly Aurora, Colo., shooting rampage, the city would like a judge’s gag order removed so they can talk openly about it. In the meantime, the theater at the center of the violence has reopened its doors.
  • The Algerian government has acknowledged that, yes, hostages have been killed in the military actions against Islamist terrorists at a desert gas plant.
  • Unlike his Democratic northeastern counterparts, Republican Florida Gov. Rick Scott says he is not planning any new gun laws, citing his respect for the Second Amendment.
  • Also in Florida, the state’s Supreme Court has upheld a law requiring public employees to pay into their own pension plans.
  • Curt Schilling, reeling from the financial failure of his subsidized video game company, is selling off his famous bloodstained sock. But it’s not the famous bloodstained sock he wore when he helped the Red Sox march to its first World Championship in 86 years. That one got thrown away.
  • The federal prosecutor who went after programmer Aaron Swartz for downloading academic journal articles from MIT has said she had no intention of pressing for a large sentence against him. She said feds were offering six months in a low-security prison in their plea deal.

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  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Lance sure has a lot of ball to go on Oprah like that

  • Restoras||

    So, he cheated and only got the silver? Isn't that called doing it wrong?

  • Brandon||

    He only got the bronze.

  • Juice||

    "Ordered" to return it? What's the Olympic Committee going to do if he doesn't?

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Probably some type of claw back provision in the agreement between the IOC and invited athletes.

  • C. Anacreon||

    I'd just have some cheap copy made of the medal and send that to them -- they'd probably never notice the difference.

    Years back an ex-fiance did that to me with her engagement ring, and I didn't notice until years later when I tried to turn that ring in as partial payment for the ring to propose to the woman who actually became my wife. Wasn't too happy when I found out the ring I had was not the one I had dropped serious coin on, but a worthless piece of glass.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    The Uniballer rides off into the sunset.

  • Almanian.||

    He an Kruk can hang out and exchange war story.

  • ||

    I see what you did there.

  • Delroy||

    So, does this revelation destroy the feel-good ending of the movie "DodgeBall"?

  • Delroy||

    And you know who else had only one ball and pissed off a bunch of people?

  • C. Anacreon||

    My brother-in-law?

  • Delroy||

    Go on ...

  • C. Anacreon||

    Unfortunately, nothing clever or funny. He lost one due to testicular cancer, but still fathered a litter of kids afterwards. And his aggressive business techniques and blunt style were known to anger quite a few folks.

  • wareagle||

    so you're saying the man had ball.

  • ||

    Dennis Rodman?

  • B.P.||

    Steve Bartman?

  • Delroy||

  • Delroy||

    Damn Skwerlz!

    Meant to type: (golf clap)

  • Monkey's Uncle||

    your Mom?

  • Delroy||

    It was my father's. She kept it in her jewelry chest.

  • A Serious Man||

    Jezebel: It doesn't matter why the gun laws get passed, it just matters that they do.

    And did you know every 30 minutes a child is killed by a gun in America?

  • ||

    "We freely admit that we do not operate on logic or reason in any way, solely emotion, groupthink, and partisanship. This is why you should take us seriously. Because we don't think."

    I have learned how to translate imbecile. Which scares me.

    "She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile."

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    The fascination with Jezebel here is indicative of some deep pathology.

  • ||

    I'd prefer not to know what kind of deep pathology leads to you sticking around here.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Libertarianism. I scored 94% on the LP Purity test.

  • $park¥||

    There you have it, he's just better than you. All hail Shreek the Uber Libertarian.

  • Generic Stranger||

    You misspelled "Uber Obama fellator".

  • ||

    No, he misspelled "sockpuppet".

  • Generic Stranger||

    Can't it be both?

  • ||

    I know it's a sockpuppet. That's what I don't want to understand. I mean what fucking waste of time.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I am not a sock. No one called me that in 2007-08 when I was bashing Bush Big Gov.

    There ARE classic liberals out here than hate conservatism (see Hayek).

  • wareagle||

    there may be classic liberals out there, but none of them are in the Dem Party. Not that this stops you from voting Obama. At least be honest with yourself.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    That was actually your PDI test.

  • A Serious Man||

    Low hanging fruit, easy to mock.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I suspect that its more of a nerdy kind of love for liberal chicks. I withdraw "pathological" in that case then.

  • A Serious Man||

    Depends on the liberal chick, I've dated a few before.

  • ||

    Anybody smell urine?

  • Rasilio||

    I call bullshit.

    A child killed every 30 minutes by a gun would equate to well over half of all Gun Deaths each year (17500 out of ~30,000).

    Even counting everyone under the age of 18 as a "child" would not get you anywhere near that number.

  • ||

    If you can't be bothered with logic, facts are irrelevant as well.

  • Randian||

    It's children up to age 27 per Obamacare.

  • JW||

    They're using metric time.

  • Brandon||

    That's not what it said.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Quinoa is apparently a zero sum food

    Whether you’re a devout vegetarian or have pledged to cut back on meat in 2013 (or, at least, through January), you’ve likely already consumed quinoa this year.

    FALSE

  • $park¥||

    And so presents an ethical dilemma for all of us late adapters (yes, even the vegans who have been eating it for a decade): Continue to consume quinoa for our own nourishment, or cut back to stabilize the market and ensure it is available – at a fair price – to all?

    VEGAN CRISIS!

  • Pro Libertate||

    I eat quinoa on occasion, but now I think I need to eat it more often, and in greater quantities.

  • $park¥||

    You monster, you're killing the Peruvians!

  • Pro Libertate||

    Say, if quinoa is an oat substitute, I could use it to make haggis, couldn't I?

  • T||

    Not a proper haggis. Some nouveau Peruvian haggis, perhaps.

  • Bobarian||

    Doesn't a proper haggis involve sawdust swept from the floor of a butchershop or slaughterhouse? Or maybe a barbershop?

  • Almanian.||

    You shut your whore mouth! Haggis is God's way of showing...we need to be punished because of original sin.

    Never mind.

    BUT I STILL LIKE HAGGIS!

  • LTC(ret) John||

    I thought I would despise haggis...I was standing and staring at it with a frown on my face when a Scottish lance corporal I had gotten to know growled at me "Eat the lovely haggis , sihhhr, you'll eat it and love it." I tried it, and it wasn't bad at all. Of course, I was sore awful hungry and I was in nowhere southern Iraq, so it wasn't like I could call for a pizza or whatnot.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Don't be absurd. Properly done, a fine haggis is the manliest of foods.

  • Brandon||

    The proper term is fusion haggis.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    It certainly couldn't make it any worse. Burns day is next week, so there's your perfect opportunity to try it out.

  • ||

    I (sorta guiltily, as a foodie even though I am a libertarian) LOVE this story.

    SCREW YOU foie-gras-hating food nazi vegan bitchez! Sustainable agro-hipster Ancient Grains my left asscheek! I'll stick with plenty of fatty dead animal TYVM.

  • ||

    I don't understand. Are you trying to say that your answer to the question "How much do you love quinoa?" is something other than A) "A fuckton" or B) "More than life itself"? Does not compute.

    Fuck their Meat-Free Mondays and fuck their economic illiteracy.

  • ||

    Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I don't on occasion appreciate a nice side dish of grain-type-product (or at least I didn't before the whole paleo thing, now it's a luxury). But god-DAMN am i tired of the complete economic and scientific shitheadedness from a crowd that likes to tout how goddam scientifically illiterate evryone else is. Not to mention their continued peddling of the illusion that it's somehow better for Gaia to buy crappy-ass pickled beets made by a pair of grimy hipsters in the Bronx than to buy produce from poor people in South America.

  • ||

    That is artisanal, locally sourced hipster grime! It adds a complex, musky layer to the flavor profile. You have doubtless been enjoying copious amounts of it all month long, as is the fashion.

  • BigT||

    I'm not saying I don't on occasion appreciate a nice side dish of grain-type-product

    Beer is not a side dish. And it should be consumed more than 'on occasion' unless that occasion is daily.

  • Drake||

    Quinoa?

    Is that the Mexican chain restraunt by the mall?

  • C. Anacreon||

    I wonder if there is a graph somewhere that plots any increase over the past 50 years in people adopting vegetarian lifestyles against the huge concurrent American growth in obesity? If so, that would be a great one to trumpet (even knowing about correlation-causation, which most of the veg fools don't understand anyway.) I would love to send that in the the local paper to counter the regular monthly letter-to-the-editor from some asshole bragging that they are vegetarian and wholesome, and we need to eliminate dairy from the world.

    They will take my ice cream from my frozen dead hands.

  • ||

  • ||

    tl;or1/2

  • Ted S.||

    So we're not supposed to eat unhealthy foods, but when we eat healthy foods, that's bad too?

    What a bunch of fucking control freaks.

  • ||

    It's the inevitable result of "moralizing" a basic life function. You have to eat. If you moralize it, you're going to really start having some problems. It's like if you moralized breathing.

    Plus, these people are the modern self-flagellators. If this were 500 years ago they'd be stripping the skin off their backs instead.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Well, how much human are you consuming?

  • ||

    I've decided that you're my next meal.

  • T||

    I see Pro L's blandishments of free-range python have backfired on him.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Remember Epi, when I promised to eat you last"

  • ||

    You lied?

  • Bobarian||

    "how much human are you consuming?"

    Not nearly enough.

  • wareagle||

    there is a line just hanging in that question, like a big fat curve ball that is not breaking. I am a combination of amazed and dismayed that it has not been swung at.

  • BigT||

    ...only fresh loins?

  • AZ||

    Oh those poor victimized local people, whose farmers make more money through export and can then spend and invest that extra money in their local economy.

  • ||

    No, silly, trade is never mutually beneficial. Where is the exploitation-y fun in that?

  • Enough About Palin||

    Que quinoa, quinoa,
    Whatever will be, will be.
    The furture's not ours to see,
    Qey quinoa, quinoa,

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Also in Florida, the state’s Supreme Court has upheld a law requiring public employees to pay into their own pension plans.

    Three percent, if I recall.

  • robc||

    6 months is too much for something that shouldnt be criminal, but a tort instead.

  • Ted S.||

    It's easy for the bitch federal prosecutor to say this now anyway.

  • SIV||

    Especially if it was a felony plea with a 10+ year ban on being in the same room as a computer.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    IT'S 80 per cent kangaroo and three per cent emu

    "I think it's great," said Tasmanian tourist Grace Eaton, 20, who had a mouthful before being told what was in the $14.50 burger.
  • ||

    What's the other 17 percent? Rainbows? Slurm?

  • T||

    Quinoa!

  • Xenocles||

    Quinoa actually works decently as a meatloaf binder for the gluten-intolerant.

  • T||

    I usually use oatmeal, not that I worry about gluten-intolerance.

  • Xenocles||

    Oatmeal can actually work for everyone if you source it right.

  • ||

    The More You Know(TM)

  • ||

    Pink slime.

  • C. Anacreon||

    Stossel's show recently was all about how wonderful pink slime is and how the media and alarmists screwed the company who created it. It actually comes from a novel process that gets the remaining meat off bones that would normally have been thrown away.

    You'd think the left would love pink slime! It means we are using the whole cow like the Indians used the whole buffalo.

  • JW||

    No, no, you clearly don't understand how wasteful capitalism is.

    Just like how for-profit companies only care about the short term just to screw you and take your money, unlike our brave and selfless politicians, whose long term planning skills are legion.

  • Generic Stranger||

    Probably some form of binder, such as lard or egg. I doubt kangaroo or emu has enough natural fats to keep a burger patty together.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Kangaroo is fine as an overpriced gimmick, but let me recommend Florida python burgers. Tasty, lean, and full of antioxidants. And not too expensive!

  • ||

    You keep joking about this, but if python is anything like alligator, that sounds awesome.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I'm not joking. I'm going to corner and own the python industry. Python is going to be the next sushi. In fact, python sushi! We'll call it paison for people who'd rather not know what they're eating.

  • JW||

    paison

    Glade Bass.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Awesome. You just got a marketing job.

  • JW||

    You just got a marketing job.

    No need to get nasty.

  • Pro Libertate||

    No, no, a real one. Not one of those sinecures.

  • A Serious Man||

    Are they still having that Burmese python problem in Florida?

  • Agammamon||

    Its not a problem - its an opportunity!

  • Pro Libertate||

    Eggsactly.

  • Pro Libertate||

    There's a big hunt going on right now. Remember how cockroaches used to own the state? Now it's pythons.

    In another thread, I also mentioned that seeing-eye pythons will soon be trained and available. These service reptiles will be marketed as Serviles®.

  • ||

    Simpsons did it first. What's next? Club-wielding gorillas to beat back the lions that were brought in to take out the pythons?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Don't be silly. You can't solve overpopulation by bringing in predators. The only way to get rid of something is to make it extremely popular and sell it into extinction.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    G. Gordon Liddy's old saw - you want to make any plant or animal extinct ... tell men in China it works better than Viagra.

  • Pro Libertate||

    You mean Pythagra?

  • ||

    Whacking Day!

  • ||

    I like this as a fast food chain idea. Exporting upscale Florida-weird to a hungry nation. Can you also you make the skin into chic little reusable carrier bags? If so, let's franchise this bitch.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Here's my proposal: A fast-food chain that sells deep-fried python on a stick, with a variety of dipping sauces. We'll also serve alligator and conch fritters. And nothing else, besides all of the Coke products and fresh brewed tea.

    We'll call it Crackers.

  • ||

    That's actually an awesome idea. The scungilli just perfects it. I'd be a loyal customer.

  • T||

    Yeah, that's not a bad restaurant concept.

  • ||

    He could call it "The Scale and Shell", and slowly add more products like turtle, escargot, etc.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Maybe. Or we'll do a spin-off chain. You know, like The Jeffersons, but with food.

  • Enough About Palin||

    "We'll call it Crackers."

    RACIST!!!

  • ||

    Will it be Sweet Tea? Cause if it is, this Yankee's out!

  • Pro Libertate||

    We'll offer both. None of that fruit-infused nonsense, though you can add lemon.

  • ||

    We'll offer both.

    Good business strategy, considering half your patrons will be from Pennsylvania.

    Might also consider serving Ensure.

  • Pro Libertate||

    No Ensure, but python shakes will be available. Think Python-A-Matic.

  • wareagle||

    respectable southern eateries also carry un-tea for our patrons with diabeetus, and they stock the full assortment of sugar substitutes.

    It's also possible to get half and half if you ask the waitress nicely.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "It's also possible to get half and half if you ask the waitress nicely."

    She'll need 50 dollah to make you hollah?

  • carol||

    Let me know when you open a franchise in southern Hillsborough. I want in.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Sure thing. Except that one will be a restaurant/strip club.

  • wareagle||

    seems if you call it Crackers, you could go the full idea lifting and have the restaurant adjoining a gift shop full of a vast assortment of reptile paraphernalia. All that skin could make some nice gloves, handbags, boots, furniture covers, etc.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah.

    The whole outside will be covered with snake skin.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Kinda like Cracker Barrel, but with snake stuff.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Well, there's already a Florida Cracker Cafe. They have a gator in their logo, though I don't remember any reptile dishes being on the menu.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I've changed my mind, anyway: Mountie Python.

  • Brian Combs||

    Going for the Canadian market?

  • Mickey Rat||

    Don't be silly, everyone knows Crackers don't matter.

  • ||

    Also in Florida, the state’s Supreme Court has upheld a law requiring public employees to pay into their own pension plans.

    This is already being met with derision by a lot of the pubsec employees down here. I tried to wade into the mire of stupid and explain that I hate that contractual obligations are being reneged on, but the simple fact is that if the money's not there the money's not there. That's the price they should have to pay for being a pubsec employee. Collective bargaining from the public coffers should not exist.

  • Ted S.||

    I would tell them they should be thanking me profusely for paying the taxes that comprise their wages, just to see their reaction.

    Assuming it was a bad reaction, I'd ask them why they're such ingrateful bastards.

  • ||

    Oh I do that. I enjoy Facebook, but I'm not married to it. Therefore I couldn't care less if everyone of my friends stops following my posts on there (as has been the case from my girlfriend and many of her friends).

    Haters gon' hate.

  • Ted S.||

    As I've stated several times before, I don't do Facebook. I don't care how many non-enemies I have.

  • ||

    As a high school friend acquaintance used to say...

    "A man don't need friends, just enemies to keep him on his toes."

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Facebook is hurting you.

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    It definitely raises my blood pressure upon every visit. Why, just today an old coworker posted:

    Forgot about the payroll tax hike and decided to look at my first paycheck of 2013. Only a $60 difference!!!! People have been complaining about this increase so much! Really?!? If that $60 really breaks your back you need some better fiscal planning. Perhaps one less night out at the bar a month or one less phone upgrade is the sacrifice all of us should have to make for deficit reduction and taking care of those who are less fortunate.

  • ||

    I think it's unfriending time.

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Indeed. While the comment is enraging, it is also hilarious how he also basically posted his salary to FB.

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    While the comment is enraging, it is also hilarious how he also basically posted his salary to FB.

  • JW||

    His ability to do the maths is equally alarming. It's either $1560 or $3120 annually. I don't know about you, but a guy could have a pretty good time in Vegas with that.

    Tell him that you' happily take 60 bucks from him every pay period, if it's such chump change to him.

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    $1,440 actually, but still a tidy sum IMO.

  • Killazontherun||

    What a country that a functional retard can clean up like that?

  • JW||

    It depends on the pay period. 52 vs 26 vs 24.

  • Sidd Finch||

    $1,440 actually

    not if he's paid bi-weekly

  • Drake||

    Many people are paid twice a month - so 24 pay periods.

    Amazing a guy that retarded is collecting a paycheck at all.

  • Tim||

    Maybe unfiending time too.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    But then Facebook has this

  • Ted S.||

    I know better what to do with my income than you do, thank you very much.

    (That's the generic you referring to people who want to increase taxes, not specifically you, Mr. Kicker-of-Ass.)

  • Killazontherun||

    What? You don't want to give to the less fortunate a mere 60 dollars out of your pocket a week? No wonder we need government to do it for us.

  • Killazontherun||

    And all it would have costs you is a night out at the bar? Where are your sense of priorities? Don't you care?

    Yeah, I just want to shoot the presumptuous idiot (like the ridiculous notion that Obamacare was about providing for the poor already covered by SCHIP) in the face. Maybe that is why they called it Facebook.

  • AZ||

    "[D]eficit reduction and taking care of those who are less fortunate." is quite a rosy and unrealistic idea of Social Security, as well.

  • Enough About Palin||

    "Forgot about the payroll tax hike and decided to look at my first paycheck of 2013. Only a $60 difference!!!!"

    Mine was a shit-ton higher than that, my entry-level fascist.

  • ||

    But, your fair share.

  • Ted S.||

    Why am I supposed to care if Facebook users are hurting each other?

  • T||

    Because maybe they'll upload funny videos of catfights?

  • ||

    That bitch needs to lose some weight.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...Republican Florida Gov. Rick Scott says he is not planning any new gun laws, citing his respect for the Second Amendment.

    So Zimmerman incident hype is a thing of the past?

  • Restoras||

    Until the trial?

  • Drake||

    the speedy one?

  • A Serious Man||

    Video: Funny Taiwanese animated video of the Manti Te'o story.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Is this a great planet or what?

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Arizona Cardinals fullback on Manti Te’o's fake girlfriend: ‘No, she’s real.

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Subway appears to be overcompensating:

    http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc.....deals.html

  • ||

    I think they meant "coming up Joe"

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    He's probably the one who first thought to measure a sub.

  • ||

    Wouldn't that be a 30.48 cm-long down undah?

  • Coeus||

    That's stupid. Everyone knows you add an inch to it when you advertise.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    This is a problem? Booth Babes

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    I know a booth babe. She is a lovely woman, shapely, and very bright. Her regular job is as an art director/production designer. It turns out she is good at pimping software, electronics, and consulting services, as well. She makes decent extra money, gets to interact with people, and travel free around the country.

    Too bad the poor little dear doesn't know she's being exploited.

  • Almanian.||

    I blame the automakers. The US automakers. They were the orig "booth babe" instigators.

    Therefore, FUCK MICHIGAN!

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Not today, my friend. Today we Fuck Notre Dame!

    Also, fried chicken.

  • Killazontherun||

    If there was one decent idea that came out of How I Met your Mother it was the hottest chicks get jobs on the cutting edge industries. In the 50's it was airline stewardesses, now its obviously the booth babes.

  • BigT||

    "They're product specialists, they know what they're talking about, they're well trained and a lot of them travel from show to show. It's actually a fairly respectable profession."

    Indeed!

  • Enough About Palin||

    "Armstrong’s Olympic Medal Revoked"

    Armstrong: Olympic Medal!

    Murtaugh: It's just been revoked.

  • ||

    Lance is getting too old for this shit.

  • Tim||

    We're all too old for this shit. What's next, his kindergarten class gonna strip him of his reading medal?

  • NeonCat||

    His bronzed training wheels.

  • A Serious Man||

    Rand Paul to introduce legislation to nullify Obama's gun actions, citing it as an abuse of executive power.

  • ||

    Ripping off earlier Reason posts now? Who are you, Ed K.?

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    A lawyer in Germany claims surgeons left up to 16 objects in her client’s body after an operation for prostate cancer.

  • A Serious Man||

    Were any of them Junior Mints?

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Those can be very refreshing.

  • ||

    +1 fusilli Jerry

  • ||

    A MILLION TO ONE DOC

  • A Serious Man||

  • Xenocles||

    What do you need help with, technique?

  • Ted S.||

    We discussed this one in the Mourning Lynx thread.

  • A Serious Man||

    I always miss the morning links because of East Coast hegemony.

  • ||

    The morning links are the honey trap for the East Coast dopes.

  • pmains||

    That's not the weirdest part. (For a woman who calls herself) Prudence (*drink*) replies:

    I know I more or less gave a pass recently to a pair of middle-aged incestuous gay twins, but they had long ago made a physical and emotional commitment to each other, and were asking me about whether they should let their family know.

    Oh, well. Emotionally committed and all that. Why would anyone object?

  • Generic Stranger||

    Wouldn't incestuous gay twins basically be the ultimate narcissists? They love themselves so much that they can only have sex with someone who looks exactly like them...

  • Killazontherun||

    Your therapist should have had the training not to be so shocked by your revelation that she ended up barking orders. Go back to the counseling office, say your first therapist was not a good fit, and you’d like to talk to someone else about a pressing emotional issue. A good therapist should be able to hear you out, understand your situation, and help guide you out of it.

    Whatever you decide to do, you must, MUST, keep seeing a member of our guild.

  • NeonCat||

    "And answer honestly when they ask you if you have any icky guns or violent tendencies."

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The federal prosecutor who went after programmer Aaron Swartz for downloading academic journal articles from MIT has said she had no intention of pressing for a large sentence against him.

    She's feeling the heat already? I don't think her termination petition to the White House got even close the million signature threshold (or whatever it is now) requiring her to respond with a public weaseling out of.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Paterno: the motion picture

  • A Serious Man||

    Al Pacino as JoePa? Whoo-ha!

  • ||

    I'm gonna take a pedophile to this place! HOO-AAA!!!

  • B.P.||

    Joe Pesci will do the voice though, right?

  • wareagle||

    so long as the line "say hello to my little friend" is NOT included.

  • Libertymike||

    Say hello to Jerry, "he's a friend of ours".

  • $park¥||

    I wish someone would make Devil Patrick realize HE'S DOING IT WRONG!

    In his annual "State of the State" speech, Patrick asked the state Legislature to approve a hike in the state's 5.25 percent income tax to 6.25 percent and a reduction in the 6.25 percent sales tax to 4.5 percent.

    Patrick said the proposed tax changes would make Massachusetts more comparable and competitive with other states. Patrick said proceeds, estimated at $1.9 billion a year, would go to public education and transportation projects.

  • ||

    Oh, damn your nimble fingers.

  • ||

    transportation projects

    Bollucks. The MTA runs a horrendous deficit...just like most public transportation. This will simply shore up their books. And for the rest of the Massholes outside the greater Boston area. No transport for you!

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    U.S. corporations’ after-tax profits have grown by 171 percent under Obama, more than under any president since World War II, and are now at their highest level relative to the size of the economy since the government began keeping records in 1947, according to data compiled by Bloomberg.

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/.....olicy.html

  • Almanian.||

    Shorter Shriek: Obama supports Kochporashuns.

  • T||

    Well, when the .gov keeps giving money to corporate America, why wouldn't they post a profit?

  • Drake||

    And they don't waste those profits on growth, research, or hiring.

  • Jerry on the road||

    National profits I assume, so mostly made overseas. But keep on fellating Obama Bloomberg!

  • ||

    Sniff, sniff.

    Yep. Urine.

  • ||

    U.S. corporations’ after-tax profits have grown by 171 percent under Obama

    So I'm assuming they started the calculation at the low point of the recession (i.e. when Obama took office or shortly after)?

    Damn, I wonder why such a big percentage rise?

  • JeremyR||

    Obama's crony capitalism, I would guess. He's been shoveling taxpayer money to his buddies.

  • ||

    Massachusetts - we have the best schools in the country, so we need to raise taxes to keep 'em that way.

  • $park¥||

    Psst, look up.

  • ||

    Damn your even nimbler fingers in typing this riposte before my acknowledgement, above.

  • Ted S.||

    LOL

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    SEXIST!!!

    Derp.

  • Ted S.||

    Fucking Disqus comments.

  • Generic Stranger||

    Better than Facebook comments.

  • JW||

    You'd think that beta males would be a self-correcting problem.

  • ||

    They are. Do you pay any attention to them? See?

  • JW||

    I see lame people.

  • ||

    Did someone say something?

  • JW||

    I SEE YOU.

  • ||

    A "large-breasted woman" was depicted?!? How dare they? Everyone knows only small- to medium-sized tits are safe for public consumption.

    *NTTAWWT but the ad does look 'shopped to hell. Which just makes the complaint all the weirder.

  • Coeus||

    Is that Lucy Pinder?

  • A Serious Man||

    Fecal transplants: The new antibiotics.

  • ||

    2 Girls 1 Cup is finally recognized as a scholarly work.

  • Xenocles||

    I think technically it's a probiotic treatment.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Fuck the IOC.

    Everywhere and always.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Whole Foods CEO recants "fascism" remark and now prefers government subsidized Swiss universal model.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the.....acism.html

  • OldMexican||

  • BigT||

    You stupid, lying piece of shit - he did not recant (better look that up, numbnuts).

    I made a bad choice of language. I was trying to distinguish it between socialism so I took the dictionary definition of fascism, which is when the means of production are still owned privately but the government controls it — that’s a type of fascism. However, I realize that that word has so much baggage associated with it from World War II, with Germany, with Italy and Spain, that's a very provocative word, so I regret using it. What I do believe in is free enterprise capitalism, and I’d like to see our healthcare system really unleash the power of free enterprise capitalism to create innovation and healthcare progress.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    You left out what he is FOR. A govt subsidy for the poor based on private providers.

    IE - Obamacare.

    And I am NOT for that. I say to hell with entitlements.

  • Brandon||

    portland1
    I recall the Whole Foods scandalous treatment of employees, as chronicled by Gawker in the past few years. Google "whole foods gawker" and read up. They have massively abusive practices and a filthy atmosphere of evil and stinky maliciousness. What a place!
    17 Minutes Ago from slate.com · Reply

    Why does slate always have misinformed idiots trying to pile on whatever the bogeyman du jour is?

  • Hollywood||

    Ryan Says House Republicans Discuss Short-Term Debt Deal Looks like the caving is right on schedule.

  • Hollywood||

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    They're only caving three months at a time.

  • Hollywood||

    There is a lot of debate of who has the leverage in this, but ultimately I think it rests with the House GOP. They have the power to force a reduction in spending, they are just too sheepish to actually wield it. They should realize that they are going to lose the PR battle anyway.

  • Killazontherun||

    http://20committee.com/2013/01.....s-of-mali/

    However, it is perfectly clear that France has intervened because American policy in Mali has failed dismally . . .

    the U.S. counterterrorism training mission in Mali made the stupefying mistake of choosing three of four northern unit commanders to train who were Tuareg. As the article says, when the Tuareg rebellion in Mali gained steam after the denouement of the Libya caper, greatly stimulated by the return of heavily armed Tuareg brethren from that fight, these three Tuareg commanders defected to the rebels, bringing soldiers, vehicles, ammunition and more to the anti-government side. Anyone who was surprised by this is an idiot, or at the very least a terminal ignoramus. And anyone in the U.S. military who failed to understand the ethnic composition of the country’s politico-military cleavages, such that he let U.S. Special Forces training be lavished on Tuareg commanders, was clearly insufficiently trained to do his job. And believe me, that’s about as nice a way to put that as I can summon.

    Damn.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Wait, AFRICOM and SOCOM made a mistake?! UNPOSSIBLE!!!!

  • AuH2O||

    So... Archer is back tonight.

    Anyone wanna come over for some cooch chili?

  • OldMexican||

    Lance Armstrong has been stripped of the bronze medal he won at the 2000 Olympics in Australia. He has been ordered to return it.


    "From my cold, dead hands!!!

    Besides, I pawned it long ago..."

  • OldMexican||

    The Algerian government has acknowledged that, yes, hostages have been killed in the military actions against Islamist terrorists at a desert gas plant.


    Where's Matthew McConaughey when you need him?

  • OldMexican||

    Unlike his Democratic northeastern counterparts, Republican Florida Gov. Rick Scott says he is not planning any new gun laws, citing his respect for the Second Amendment.


    Yeah, that's why.

  • OldMexican||

    The federal prosecutor who went after programmer Aaron Swartz for downloading academic journal articles from MIT has said she had no intention of pressing for a large sentence against him. She said feds were offering six months in a low-security prison in their plea deal.


    "There was no reason for him to take his own life! It was not like we were going to place him in a cell with Bubba The Violator or something!

    Right?"

  • Coeus||

    It's funny because we know we made up the whole war on women thing.

    Lol. At their retreat, the House Republicans are having a panel on “Successful Communication with Minorities and Women.”
  • Coeus||

    Krugnuts: We Must Do Something About Global Warming Right Now. But the budget will take care of itself, so don't sweat that.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    I really think Armstrong is an admirable character, because he was able to piss off so many pussies who take this kind of dumb shit so seriously. I never wore one of those stupid bracelets until after this whole thing, and when people point it out i will tell them it's to KEEP DOPE ALIVE!

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