A.M. Links: Hamas Sticks Tongue Out at Israel, Federalist Efforts and Marijuana Legalization, TSA Drives Travelers Away from Airlines

  • The top leader of Hamas has dared Israel to invade Gaza. No word on whether he made chicken sounds or called Netanyahu a pussy.
  • Four men in California were charged with an international terrorism plot. One source in the case was paid $250,000 and was previously convicted of drug trafficking.
  • Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle have introduced a bill that would alter the Controlled Substances Act in order to force the federal government to respect state-level legalization of Marijuana.
  • Despite growing support for medical marijuana and its legality in 17 states, health insurance providers rarely cover its purchase.
  • Thanks to how awful the Transportation Security Administration has made the process of flying, Americans are taking the more dangerous route of driving long distances in order to keep from dealing with them.
  • The Czech Republic has its own anti-austerity protests organized by the trade unions and opposing budget cuts and pension reform.

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle have introduced a bill that would alter the Control Substances Act in order to force the federal government to respect state-level legalization of Marijuana.

    That's quote a slippery slope.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    And you can quite me on that.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Nice save

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    All part of the plan.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Procedure was followed.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Words were typed.

  • Ken Shultz||

    Deadlines were met.

  • Complainy Janey||

    Heckuva job, Fist!

  • Ska||

    What a crappy complaint.

  • AuH2O||

    I love it when a plan comes together!

  • R C Dean||

    Interesting. Here's hoping it makes it into law.

  • Lord Humungus||

    The Stars Are Beginning To Go Out…
    http://blogs.scientificamerica.....to-go-out/

    They really are.

    The universe is apparently well past its prime in terms of making stars, and what new ones are being made now across the cosmos will never amount to more than a few percent on top of the numbers already come and gone.

    This is the rather disquieting conclusion of a new and significant study of the rate at which stars have been produced through cosmic time.
  • ||

    We're all going to die in a few billion years!!!

  • nicole just can't even!||

    I knew you would show up here when it suited you. Everyone, remember what Epi really thinks about the morning links: they are too gauche and jejune for the likes of him.

  • ||

    It suits me when I'm in Connecticut and woke up at 7 AM. Back east, everything is just gauche and jejune enough because we're on Eastern time. Plus, IT'S COLD. God damn, I am such a Seattle pussy.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    You cannot let that place turn you into some west coast asshole who thinks it's cold right now.

  • ||

    I'll always be an east coast asshole, nicole, nothing can ever change that. No matter how west coast I live, my origins remain strong.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Biggie 4eva

  • ||

    Nutmegga represent, yo.

  • Restoras||

    Cold? This isn't cold. This is mild. I played golf this past weekend it was so mild. Cold is reserved for January.

  • ||

    Look, I went from epic rain and 45 degrees to sunshine and 28 degrees. I think I might go practice my serve in the cold to remind myself of where I'm from.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    I might go practice my serve in the cold to remind myself of where I'm from.

    I would say think of England, but, you know.

  • Lord Humungus||

    RAPE JOKE!

  • Agammamon||

    Jeeesus! I feel sorry for you dude. Out here I *still* have to turn onthe AC during the day.

  • $park¥||

    The fact that you're in Connecticut explains so much. I knew the sun looked a little dimmer this morning.

  • ||

    I bring darkness wherever I go.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    How many words for rain do you have?

  • ||

    Plus, IT'S COLD. God damn, I am such a Seattle pussy.

    It's pretty cold here, too. 69F in Honolulu right now, prolly 65F here where I live at higher altitude.

    I mean, we've got all the window louvers closed, and I'm wearing a short sleeve shirt to stay warm. FN COLD! =P

  • Ted S.||

    I would have gone with "nonce and insipid" myself.

  • mnarayan||

    Speak for yourself. I plan to make it to at least several billion years, perhaps even many.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    I'm sure Roland Emmerich is all over that.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    We're all going to die in a few billion years!!!

    A new gotcha question for the Christ Fags.

  • $park¥||

    Sometimes, ok most times, I think astronomers and physicists just make up random shit to sound all smart and important.

  • ||

    Sometimes, ok most times, I think astronomers and physicists just make up random shit to sound all smart and important.

    Shit, wouldn't you? I mean, who's gonna call them on it?

  • ||

    Yeah, when someone says "Doom. DOOM. DOOOOOM!" because our sun is gonna wipe out all life on Earth in five BILLION years, I start to question their ability to grasp the more immediate problem of their imminent and certain mortality.

  • 0x90||

    And how many light-years-old is this news?

  • Lord Humungus||

    30 parsecs.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The universe has a low star sperm count. From wearing skinny space jeans.

  • ||

    So you identify with the universe, then.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    This is AM Links. Why are you even here?

  • ||

    FoE, you are in a position to ask nothing. I, on the other hand, am in a position to answer nothing.

  • Ted S.||

    So you're in missionary?

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Face down, stuffed against pillow. Duh.

  • ||

    Face down, stuffed against pillow. Duh.

    You left out "... and crying like a little schoolgirl. Possibly dressed like one."

  • Complainy Janey||

    Schoolboy, I think, but yes.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    From Hell's heart, I stab at thee.

  • ||

    We should just get a convenient hotlink button to the first khan dialogue to save everyone time.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Let's start with an edit button, and go from there.

    Did I tell you I did go to the Broncos game? TicketExchange is really paying off.

  • Agammamon||

    Apparently I'm the only one to get the "Star Trek" reference.

  • Bee Tagger||

    Meanwhile, poorer universes are creating stars at much higher rates.

  • Ted S.||

    I thought the universe was supposed to end on December 21 anyway.

  • mr simple||

    That's only life on this planet. Earth has been repossessed by the universe through Eminent Domain for new development. This is what we get for living on a blighted planet. 12/21 is our eviction date.

  • ||

    Disquieting? How so?

  • ||

    Maybe in your universe /cackles across the transdimensional void

  • Killazontherun||

    Don't get too worried. If time is anything like we are capable of thinking of it then everything would have burned out an eternity ago.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    This is the rather disquieting conclusion of a new and significant study of the rate at which stars have been produced through cosmic time.

    "Clearly, what's needed is a massive galactic redistributionist program to provide cosmic justice and prevent the stars, upon which so many of our hopes and dreams are based, from being lost and ensure their survival for future generations."

  • Lord Humungus||

    San Francisco lawmakers set to vote on nudity ban
    http://staging.hosted.ap.org/d.....9-04-04-47

    Where will Warty go? WHERE?

  • DJF||

    Gay Pride Parades are exempt so he will just declare himself a perpetual Gay Pride Parade.

  • ||

    That's a gaping loophole. You could fist a truck through it.

  • mr simple||

    Scott Wiener, the supervisor who represents San Francisco's predominantly gay Castro District

    Really?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Despite growing support for medical marijuana and its legality in 17 states, health insurance providers rarely cover its purchase.

    Mellow-Harshing Panels.

  • Raston Bot||

    just like they cover lasik and breast augmentation?

  • Agammamon||

    'Course its not like pot is expensive.

    Its really fustrating when people bitch about insurance not covering this or that, showing complete ignorance at what insurance is *for*.

  • Bee Tagger||

    Despite growing support for medical marijuana and its legality in 17 states, health insurance providers rarely cover its purchase.

    That will be fixed when the federal government is even more involved in health insurance, right? I mean, the federal government is super on board with pot after all.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Time to End Military Tribunals?
    http://www.nytimes.com/roomfor.....ef=opinion

    As President Obama prepares for his second term in the White House, should he put an end to military commissions, used to prosecute captured enemies for war crimes, and finally close Guantánamo?

    hahaahahahahaha

  • DJF||

    As thought the NYT’s knows better then a President who not only has a Nobel Peace Prize but a new mandate from the voters.

  • Ted S.||

    I can't wait until the slapfest between the NYT's house Nobelist Krugnuts and the Bringer of Light begins.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The all-powerful Republicans will stop him.

  • Lord Humungus||

    again.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    How sad is it when your defense of a president is that he's the most impotent president in decades?

  • Lord Humungus||

    Petraeus scandal puts four-star general lifestyle under scrutiny
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....story.html

    Then-defense secretary Robert M. Gates stopped bagging his leaves when he moved into a small Washington military enclave in 2007. His next-door neighbor was Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the time, who had a chef, a personal valet and — not lost on Gates — troops to tend his property.

    Gates may have been the civilian leader of the world’s largest military, but his position did not come with household staff. So, he often joked, he disposed of his leaves by blowing them onto the chairman’s lawn.
  • nicole just can't even!||

    troops to tend his property

    Well, banging your autobiographer is definitely cooler than that, although probably a lot less useful in the long run.

  • Corneliusm||

    Well, banging your autobiographer is definitely cooler than that, although probably a lot less useful in the long run.

    FTFY.

  • R C Dean||

    See, I just assumed "tending property" was one of them euphemisms.

  • Lord Humungus||

    I like a well-manicured lawn meself.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    banging your autobiographer

    He's a masterbater too?

  • Agammamon||

    I bang my *auto* biographer all the time!

  • Ted S.||

    Government is the 1%.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    I knew there were more reasons I hated Mullen than I could express.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    Aren't there personal servitude rules in the military to prevent things like this?

  • T||

    Not for 4 stars. There is a specific MOS (or used to be when I was in) that is basically assistant to a general.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    No, this is actually pretty common amongst the top brass. It's thankless and often pointless work, but it can enhance a career, just because of the access you have to so much of the top guy's day-to-day routine.

    You know who the most influntial person in the European courts typically was during the Middle Ages? They guy who--no kidding--cleaned out the king's shitter. He's the one who saw the king every day and was privy (heh) to the inner workings of the court.

  • Agammamon||

    If he was a real arsehole, he would hav emade the Chariman pick them up.

  • $park¥||

    Here's a mildly interesting story. New smell discovered.

    The smell is dubbed "olfactory white," because it is the nasal equivalent of white noise, researchers report Monday in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Just as white noise is a mixture of many different sound frequencies and white light is a mixture of many different wavelengths, olfactory white is a mixture of many different smelly compounds.

  • Bee Tagger||

    They walked into the local YMCA locker room, this is science?

  • Rich||

    Participants rated it right in the middle of the scale for both pleasantness and edibility.

    Story of my life. ;-)

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Don't sell yourself short! That was definitely at least a moderately interesting story!

    Plus: it's got a good title photo.

  • Ted S.||

  • gaijin||

    The smell is dubbed "olfactory white,"

    Racists!

  • Lord Humungus||

    What would happen if a meteor or asteroid the size of _, made of _, hit Earth at a speed of _? There's an app for that
    http://www.purdue.edu/impactearth/

    fun with physics!

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Eh. Update me when they can generate the hypothetical president's inspirational speech.

  • Brett L||

    I'd think you could tweak one of those fake journal article writers with no problem.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Which is why its absence is all the more mystifying.

    Sure, "calculate asteroid impacts" is interesting, but "create your own presidential speech to go along with it" is viral gold.

  • Brett L||

    See here for this taken to an illogical extreme.

  • Rich||

    'Anti-Thanksgiving' sparks controversy

    Let's go around the commentariat. What are *you* not grateful for?

  • ||

    Your mom?

  • Rich||

    I just *knew* you would say that, Epi! 8-)

  • SugarFree||

    I'm also going to go with "Rich's mom."

  • Rich||

    This'll be Mom's Best. Prom. Ever.

  • SugarFree||

    Tell her I'll be by around 7 and to wear something slutty.

  • ||

    Wear something?!?

  • Lord Humungus||

    All Nude Prom!

    The one and only time I went to prom - at the tender age of 16, I ended making out with three girls (at different times), getting drunk on a cold Michigan beach, and got my first BJ. Weird night.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "Weird night."

    WTF?! I don't think I would be using the term, "weird". Awesome, Best Ever, Glorious and such, perhaps.

  • Lord Humungus||

    I didn't go into the details - so I'll stick with weird/unexpected.

  • JW||

    The BJ was from Mrs. Newsome. 11th grade English.

  • ||

    and she was totally into it

  • SugarFree||

    Weird night.

    You misspelled "awesome."

  • Auric Demonocles||

    You guys aren't thankful for Rich's mom? Clearly you haven't gotten to the kinky shit yet.

  • $park¥||

    Well my kids can be ungrateful little bastards at times.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    The list would be a lot shorter the other way around.

  • T||

    Being a thinking mote in an uncaring universe.

  • ||

    Let's go around the commentariat. What are *you* not grateful for?

    Statists who vote. The ones who are too lazy or stoned to get their ass off the couch on election day -- I'm OK with them.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    One source in the case was paid $250,000 and was previous convicted of drug trafficking.

    So now reason is discounting the word of capitalists and drug dealers? Because that's what's being inferred here!

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    That brave American is obviously a libertarian hero!

  • Whahappan?||

    Just ask Shriek, Fast and Furious was all about free trade in guns!

  • Lord Humungus||

    A new study from the Congressional Budget Office starts with the scariest graph you’ll see today.
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/...../?hpid=z13

    Potential GDP is the measure of what the economy is capable of producing if almost all of the people who want jobs are able to get one and almost all its machines and buildings were humming at their potential. While it has grown consistently through modern U.S. history (we can thank a growing population and steadily improving technology for that), it doesn’t always grow at the same rate. In periods when baby boomers were reaching their working years and women were entering the workforce in large numbers, the rate at which potential GDP rose was very high, over 4 percent at times, by the CBO’s reckoning.

    In recent years, though, those trends have reversed. Baby boomers are starting to retire and the proportion of women who work has leveled off. The CBO’s estimate of potential GDP was rising at gradually steady rates for most of the 2000s even before the great recession hit, and has continued that downward trend since then.
  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Now that the election is over...

    ...looks like the Obama recovery has been awful.

    -WaPo

  • 0x90||

    ...unexpectedly, it looks like the Obama recovery has been awful.

  • Brutus||

    You mean the way to make the economy grow isn't to hang millstones around its neck and toss it into the Potomac?

  • Rich||

    the scariest graph you’ll see

    It could be worse.

    /WH spokesperson

  • Numeromancer||

    It could would be worse.

    /WH spokesperson

    FTFY

  • CampingInYourPark||

    "lotion2012
    11/19/2012 12:31 PM EST
    This couldn't have anything to do with the GOP's and FOX News' efforts to everything humanly possible to further tank the economy and slow any recovery, could it?"

    See...the GOP and Fox News controls the economy but not elections...yet.

  • Lord Humungus||

    lotion2012 - it makes the government raping so much easier.

  • ||

    The increasing popularity of kulak wrecker-hoarder accusations is an extremely disturbing cultural trend.

  • ||

    You should have given us a little taste of the lotion, the whole post is long but even reason #1 is enough

    "1. Cut as much spending as possible, laying off as many workers as possible so they aren't adding to the economy. "

    I mean you can even put aside the stupidity of his general argument and just limit the response to "did these things you talk about even happen?"

  • ||

    What a collection of punchable faces that is on the right

  • JW||

    Obama inherited this recovery.

    BOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!

  • Randian||

  • JW||

    I had that on my fridge for *so* many years.

    Time to re-apply.

  • mr simple||

    The new CBO report claims that two-thirds of the underperformance (sic) of the economy over the past three years compared to a typical recovery is due to a slower rate of growth in potential GDP.

    Yes, the slow recovery has nothing to do with the policies of the administration or congress. It's all the fault of a fantastical extension of a made up statistic.

  • Mike M.||

    Sloopy goes 14 for 14 on the picks! I'm impressed; that's never easy to do in the Not For Long league.

  • Lord Humungus||

    wow - I only pulled that stunt once. Of course I had someone help me with my picks - a college receiver who played on the practice team for the Detroit Lions but got cut after a long-term injury.

  • Brett L||

    Bastard. I needed one more good week to get back on top. Thanks a lot, Panthers, for melting down in the last 30 seconds of that game.

  • Ted S.||

    I'm actually leading by two games in my pick-em league, which is a shock, since I normally suck at these things.

    Everybody in the league got the NYJ/STL game wrong, but half of us got the other 13 right this week.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    The Jets game is where sloopy really shined this week.

  • Translucent Chum||

    F-ing Browns...

  • Bee Tagger||

    Americans are taking the more dangerous route of driving long distances in order to keep from dealing with them.

    Hopefully my driving companions' bladders are permitted to hold more than 4 ounces of liquid at a time.

  • Lord Humungus||

    How to Live Without Irony
    http://opinionator.blogs.nytim.....out-irony/

    If irony is the ethos of our age — and it is — then the hipster is our archetype of ironic living.

    The hipster haunts every city street and university town. Manifesting a nostalgia for times he never lived himself, this contemporary urban harlequin appropriates outmoded fashions (the mustache, the tiny shorts), mechanisms (fixed-gear bicycles, portable record players) and hobbies (home brewing, playing trombone). He harvests awkwardness and self-consciousness. Before he makes any choice, he has proceeded through several stages of self-scrutiny. The hipster is a scholar of social forms, a student of cool. He studies relentlessly, foraging for what has yet to be found by the mainstream. He is a walking citation; his clothes refer to much more than themselves. He tries to negotiate the age-old problem of individuality, not with concepts, but with material things.
  • $park¥||

    I'll bet they have a picture of Epi in his tiny shorts playing trombone to the sounds of some old record playing on his portable record player.

  • ||

    How did you know I used to play the trombone?!? I just wanted to be like Riker. Sad, I know.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    I... I... am struck speechless.

    The horror, the horror.

  • Restoras||

    Did you want to be from Alaska too?

  • $park¥||

    Given the the amount of personal information you've provided to H&R, it's not really a stretch.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Guido Horn?

  • Ska||

    That hangs from his rear view mirror. And in the days of ancient Rome it was a bull's cock.

  • Restoras||

    Any chance there is a lab in the Pentagon working on a hipster-specific pathogen to rid us of the scourge?

  • Brett L||

    WTF. If they want to see an irony-free lifestyle, just read the editorial page of NYT.

  • T||

    Home brewing is an outmoded hobby? And hipsters do it?

    Funny, all the guys I see at the hombrew store near me are fat middle-aged dorks. In other words, my people.

  • Restoras||

    And I bet they listen to ironical bands like Rush too.

  • Ted S.||

    You're a hipster, obviously.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I think a lot of it depends why you are home brewing.

    Like wearing glasses can be hipster, depending why.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    How Free Speech Died on Campus

    Nothing that most of us haven't read before, but a good introductory article to share with friends and family, if you're "that guy/gal".

  • ||

    Got pissed and didnt make it all the way through that. A shame I am not in university anymore....I would make a career out of being their worst nightmare.

  • ||

    The primate behaviour expert Frans de Waal compared the monkeys' behaviour to humans who participated in the Occupy Wall St movement.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Hairy and smelly -- Check!
    Both chuck poop -- Check!

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Thanks to how awful the Transportation Security Administration has made the process of flying, Americans are taking the more dangerous route of driving long distances in order to keep from dealing with them.

    Shocked, I am.

    You know, leaving everything else aside, the fact that His Zeroificness has not had Janet Napolitano dragged from her office in manacles would justify impeachment in my book.

  • Ted S.||

    His Zeroificness has not had Janet Napolitano dragged from her office in manacles

    That's sexist! :-p

  • Agammamon||

    Womynacles is just to difficult to say.

  • Pound. Head. On. Desk.||

    Thanks to how awful the Transportation Security Administration has made the process of flying, Americans are taking the more dangerous route of driving long distances in order to keep from dealing with them.
    Shocked, I am.

    Yep, me too. The last time I flew we went to Disney World in 2003. Some guy got gladbagged for complaining about the flight delays in Charlotte. Since then I either drive or take a train.

  • ||

    It's a plan so crazy it just might work: goatse.cx to be relaunched as a webmail service

  • ||

    It's a plan so crazy it just might work: goatse.cx to be relaunched as a webmail service

  • Brett L||

    You can't trick me! I ain't clickin' that with your mouse.

  • ||

    For once, your paranoia* leads you astray. That link is SFW

    * or the heady smell of yak vomit has befuddled you

  • Brett L||

    The new ointment is working, I only smell like dog vomit now.

  • T||

    I've cleaned up enough dog vomit to know that's not a good thing.

    But I have yet to smell yak vomit, so it may be a decided improvement.

  • ||

    Yes, but the Patchouli Poisoning Syndrome is doing its evil work, Brett. You may be laden with the waft of canine
    emesis, but that PPS doesn't wash off.

    You're doomed, and that what you get for cavorting with dirty hippies. -)

  • Brett L||

    I'm doing my best to pass it on to as many hipster chicks as I can before I succumb. For the irony.

  • Bee Tagger||

    Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle have introduced a bill that would alter the Control Substances Act in order to force the federal government to respect state-level legalization of Marijuana.

    Pieces of paper aren't forcing the federal government to do much it doesn't want to do, lately.

  • Rich||

    Ah, but these are pieces of *rolling* paper.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    No word on whether he made chicken sounds or called Netanyahu a pussy.

    He made a whipping noise because the United States won't let Israel invade.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    And he made it in a ski mask, hiding from sight so a 500lbs bomb didn't land on him, heh heh.

  • Jordan||

    Despite growing support for medical marijuana and its legality in 17 states, health insurance providers rarely cover its purchase.

    I'm sure progressives will get around to correcting that. And then wonder why it has become so expensive.

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Regulate it, tax it, and then insure it. A winning combination.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "Insure it" - Since you basically can't make money covering pharma in the US, who would insure it? If the American tort plaintiff bar can run things like Vioxx off the shelves, what do you think will happen the first time someone's special little snowflake gets into trouble because of the demon weed?

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    It's a loop. Insure it. Fuck, how do we do that? MORE REGULATION!

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Remember Reagan's maixim of government action:

    If it moves, tax it.

    If it keeps moving, regulate it.

    When it stops moving, subsidize it.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    What are *you* not grateful for?

    So many, many things...

    *highpitched hum, followed by explosion of head*

  • nicole just can't even!||

    YA Fiction and the End of Boys

    WHEN I WAS PREGNANT the first time, I hoped I would have a girl. I know, obviously, that it’s hard to be a girl (the grim realities of Not Having it All, slut shaming, Todd Akin, etc.) but it seemed that parenting a girl, as a task, offered an appealing kind of clarity. You teach a daughter to be a strong, brave woman. But what, I wondered, do you teach a son? “Don’t get too full of yourself,” was about the best I could come up with.

    Seriously? Seriously?

  • ||

    what, I wondered, do you teach a son?

    Wipe up when you piss on the toilet seat?

  • nicole just can't even!||

    You're way behind the times. Now you teach them to sitzenpinkeln.

  • Pound. Head. On. Desk.||

    It shouldn't surprise me boys aren't taught to aim any kind of gun, not even their plinker. Far too many boys aren't taught anything about how to be a man these days.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    My god, if a guy ever has to take a crap at a football game...

  • JW||

    Hold it and pray for no overtime.

  • Pound. Head. On. Desk.||

    Stand on the seat squatting like a lot of foreign countries do.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "Afghan footstand"

  • 0x90||

    Makes a compelling argument for compulsory sterilization, I'll say that much.

  • Restoras||

    Just awful.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    I don't read YA, so I am not all that knowledgeable in the subject, but I fail to understand why boys and girls need vastly different literature to teach them how to grow up...or why they need "YA" literature for this in the first place, which is why I don't read it.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Exactly! Like when Disney's "Pooh & Tigger" (that name being a travesty in itself) featured a female replacement for Christopher Robin. What little girl said, "Oh no, Christopher Robin is just too virile and masculine for me to connect with."

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Maybe it was too many little boys emulating him.

  • SIV||

    Dr. Adder is a pretty good YA novel.

    A life-affirming tale of a young man's journey from chicken farm to the big city.

  • Lord Humungus||

    ha!

  • Hell's Librarian||

    Most (prolly 90% +) YA is all about the grrrrlz, regardless of genre.

    or why they need "YA" literature for this in the first place

    But yeah, this point is (among others) what makes this article amazingly stupid.

  • Brett L||

    "Don't be a dick like your mother" seems like a good place to start.

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Son, once a month your mom is going to become a super bitch. Stay away from her then. You have been warned.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Also, I thought this was really bizarre because I would always have rather had a son if I had a kid. I mean, which would you rather deal with 12 years later, some middle school mean girl bitch or some kid you can just tell to go play outside?

  • John||

    My parents raised three of each will tell you you are nuts to want a girl. That said, whatever happened being happy your kid isn't sick or handicapped and accepting them for who they are? What kind of a hate filled monster would look at their own kid and think "I am so disappointed you are a boy"? I wonder how this woman would feel if some biracial couple was hoping their child were white? She is doing the same thing here.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Get Jude Law a wheelchair, it's a prelude to Gattaca!

  • Hell's Librarian||

    I love my kid, but (pre)teenage girls are the devil. I think they grow out of it in their early twenties or so (right around the time life starts kicking them in the nads a bit). So I guess I have a ways to go for that.

  • $park¥||

    Teenage girls are only the devil to their mothers.

  • ||

    Marsha Klein: She's not a teenager, she's the devil in an A-cup!

  • JW||

    I love my kid, but (pre)teenage girls are the devil.

    Yep. The wife-unit clearly appreciates the son more, though no the husband for the same reason. I love my she-spawn, but she can be a shrieking nightmare.

    "Boys are so...simple, easy." "Yes? AND?"

    She doesn't seem to grok the idea that we don't really change all that much, except for the size and price tag of our toys.

  • Hell's Librarian||

    I love my she-spawn, but she can be a shrieking nightmare.

    They start off so sweet, and then WHAM!!! Puberty.

  • JW||

    Here's the thing: she's been a shrieking nightmare for most of her life. She's actually *mellowed* with teenagedness, but not completely nor evenly. A whole new crop of anxieties to replace the old.

    The boy just wants to know when he can get back on his Xbox and when we can buy more skinny jeans for him.

  • $park¥||

    She's actually *mellowed* with teenagedness, but not completely nor evenly. A whole new crop of anxieties to replace the old.

    This sounds exactly like my 17-year-old.

  • tarran||

    I'm hoping my daughter will mellow with teenageitude. Because one moment she's a tomboy with bugs in her pocket that "need a home", then she's a princess, then she's pummeling her older brother.

    I think I have PTSD from taking her clothes shopping for the round of holiday parties coming up. /sobs

  • Complainy Janey||

    OMG a librarian who doesn't talk up YA? No wonder you're in hell!

  • Hell's Librarian||

    Haha. I like (some) YA, depending on the genre, but I do recognize that it's female-centric. A lot (most? hard to say because of pen names) of it is written by women.

  • Rich||

    what, I wondered, do you teach a son?

    Sometimes it's OK to slap a woman?

  • Drake||

    You teach your son not to trust women and to avoid relationships with liberal women at all costs.

  • SugarFree||

    That is some hateful shit, right there. But it can't be misandry. Misandry doesn't exist.

    I hope going forward that her womb be as barren as her mind.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    The scary bonus part is that I only saw that article because I read another one complaining about how this one was too boy-friendly and didn't take into account enough the struggles of women.

  • ||

    NEEDZ MOAR HATESES

  • Complainy Janey||

    Fortunately, those are always available.

  • SugarFree||

    The only consolation I have is that boys aren't reading any of these damn books.

  • Complainy Janey||

    I think that's why we're supposed to be worried about it, or something.

    The underlying thing I'v never understood: the traditional literature was somehow not sufficient for girls. They needed a special girl-literature. But then they expect boys to also be satisfied with the girl-literature. If the previous literature was male-dominated rather than gender-neutral, why wouldn't boys be uninterested in the new, explicitly non-neutral girl literature?

    I.e., if a girl says "I don't like The Outsiders because I can never relate to Ponyboy, because he's a boy," why would it be unsurprising for a boy to say "I don't like The Hunger Games because I can never relate to Katniss, because she's a girl"?

    (Relatability being, of course, complete bullshit to begin with, but it does seem to be the premise.)

  • SugarFree||

    You see the same sort of stuff run through the library world as well. "Boys aren't reading? What can we do?"

    It a) hilariously over-estimates the impact of reading on young people and b) has a fairly simple solution (promote the writing of books that appeal to boys and stop worrying that both sexes can't equally enjoy a single work) but everyone would rather run around screaming and rending their clothes.

  • Complainy Janey||

    Totally. But then without all that screaming and rending people wouldn't have nearly as much to write about on the internets.

    You know, actual concern trolls.

  • SugarFree||

    Also, the comments make the common error that YA literature is merely responding to the "evolution" of manhood toward the feminist idea, instead of driving it.

    YA writing has always been pedagogical and filled with progressive ideas--it has always been the horse and not the cart. Part of it is personal politics on the part of the writers, but mostly they are attempting to appeal to teachers, largely left-leaning women--which is just good market economics.

  • Nikki Diamond, Book Whore||

    Yes, 100% this.

  • JW||

    Who are you and what have you done with my Janey? I liked her the best.

  • Complainy Janey||

    I did too, JW, I did too.

  • ||

    How to throw a sinker?

  • Brutus||

    Just castrate the little guy at birth so he never knows what he's missing.

  • Christina||

    Though the piece's author is a stupid female chauvinist, she does make some good points about males portrayed in children's/YA lit.

    I was on Amazon a few nights ago into the wee hours because I was looking for a book or series of books to give to my BFF's 6 year-old son. I am completely stumped as to what to get him. I seem to recall that being the age when chapter books first came on the scene for me, but everything I could think of that I enjoyed is not really boyish. I thought maybe The Boxcar Children books, but the only kid these days I know who reads those is a girl. So please tell me, gentle commenters, what do boys in early elementary grades read these days?

  • Randian||

    I read Fear Street.

    I don't think that helps you any.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    The Redwall Series by Brian Jacques (RIP) is a classic. I may have been 7 when I started reading it, but it is an excellent series.

  • Charlotte Sometimes||

    At 6, my boys loved:
    My Side of the Mountain
    Ginger Pye
    A Cricket in Times Square
    Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH
    The Dragon in the Sock Drawer series
    Gordon Korman's Swindle series
    Terry Pratchett's Bromeliad trilogy
    The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
    The Bunnicula series
    All of Roald Dahl's children's books (especially Danny, the Champion of the World).

  • SugarFree||

    I also recommend My Side of the Mountain. And in a few years, Bridge to Terabithia in order to create horrible emotional scars.

  • Charlotte Sometimes||

    Imagine my surprise when, at age 11, I picked up Dahl's Omnibus.

  • Charlotte Sometimes||

    Wait a minute--I just checked the date published and I was 13. I could have sworn I was younger than junior high when I read it. . .

  • SugarFree||

    No one told me that there was any difference between Heinlein's children's books and his adult work. This is how I ended up reading Time Enough For Love when I was 10.

  • tarran||

    THAT IS AWESOME!

  • Hell's Librarian||

    LOL.

    I read The Happy Hooker when I was 10, mostly because I was curious why my parents had it "hidden" in the bottom drawer of their clothes chest.

  • Charlotte Sometimes||

    My love of Watership Down led me to read The Girl in a Swing in 5th grade. I was disappointed on so many levels.

  • Charlotte Sometimes||

    Oops. I meant for that to be in response to Christina. My boys also loved the Redwall series, though :)

  • $park¥||

    Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

  • ||

    By the sixth grade I had read all of Robert Howards Conan and Solomon Kane stories....Sneak 'em in class and hide them insde a textbook and read while the teacher droned on 'waa waaa waaaaa' like charlie brown's teacher.

    Six though? Maybe wait until the kid is 8?

  • ||

    I'm a chick, but I think the Dragon trilogy by Ruth Stiles Gannett could be enjoyed by boys - lots of action and danger, and the protagonist is a boy.

  • Hell's Librarian||

    What sort of kid is he? Kids read at different levels, and some are readers, and some are "doers". I kind of like giving "doers" things like The Dangerous Book For Boys. For straight readers, who tend to read above their age level, maybe things like Heinlein's juveniles, or Lloyd Alexander's Prydain books?

  • SugarFree||

    I've often argued that librarianship is an infection and spending time in libraries and around librarians are the main vectors of infection.

    My initial exposure was in 3rd grade when an awesome school librarian gave me Heinlein's Red Planet to read while I was bored and hanging around the library while the other kids were still being taught to read.

  • tarran||

    Sugarfree, you need to pick up a copy of the Alcatraz books:

    1st book: Alcatraz vs. the Evil Librarians.

    YOU WILL ENJOY IT! /morgo voice

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    Jack London.

  • ||

    what do boys in early elementary grades read these days?

    FAQs online on how to be more awesome at Halo 4.

    Seriously.

  • Enough About Palin||

    "what, I wondered, do you teach a son?"

    That it's just fine to cum in her mouth even though you promised her otherwise?

  • Complainy Janey||

    On her face, EAP. On her face.

    Or maybe that was just me.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    See, it's assholes like that who ruin the White Tigress Tradition for the rest of us.

  • Complainy Janey||

    Oh come now HM, nothing has been ruined.

  • ||

    You SFd the link. It seemed like an awesome link, BTW.

    Googled it:

    http://www.google.com/search?h.....80&bih=619

  • ||

    But what, I wondered, do you teach a son?

    "If you gotta fuck sluts -- and I really, really recommend against that -- tell 'em that you'll call them the next day. Then don't. Because they're sluts, and if you make the mistake of putting your dick in crazy, get far away afterwards."

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    But what, I wondered, do you teach a son? “Don’t get too full of yourself,” was about the best I could come up with.

    Well, gee, you dumb bitch, maybe if you didn't view men as nothing more than sperm donors and ATM machines, you'd be able to figure out how to raise a boy into a man.

  • SugarFree||

    For everyone who managed to survive their initial contact with this nightmare gallery since this time last year, you might not yet be aware that we have certain traditions. This is one of them:

    Welcome to the 4th Annual Trample Friday Flashback thread!

    There's Safety In A Union

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Shouldn't we flashback on Friday?

  • SugarFree||

    Don't question me, woman.

  • ||

    that's the problem with flashbacks, they come unbidden and seize your mind

  • Trespassers W||

    I concur. I was eagerly anticipating (well, anticipating) Friday so that we could rehash this. You jumped the gun, man.

  • SugarFree||

    I'm going to be bloated on turkey and playing the new Borderlands DLC/reading the new Banks novel Friday, so I wanted to get it out there.

  • Charlotte Sometimes||

    So glad the new DLC is coming out today. Just picked up a Lucid Hellfire and Loaded Maggie last night. Woohoooo!

  • SugarFree||

    I've gotten crap Legendary drops so far, except for the Infinity Pistol I got with Zer0 at level 9. I'm just going to keep passing it down to my other new characters.

    Gaige is fun to playthrough with, even if the Anarchy system takes a bit of getting used to.

  • Charlotte Sometimes||

    We have had horrible luck with getting legendary drops from bosses and we have not found a single legendary in a regular/non-DLC chest. We are getting most of ours by farming the glitch in the Leviathan chamber.

  • ||

    I haven't the slightest FN idea what any of that means, SF.

  • ||

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    joe doing his internet tuff gai routine, classic. Where's his pussy handle The Derider to threaten us?

  • Randian||

    joe| 12.2.08 @ 1:35PM

    When I'm kicking a dozen people's asses at the same time, Dello, it might take me a while to get back around to yours. Patience.

    Classic.

  • SugarFree||

    I can't imagine why so many people hated him. Seriously, no clue.

  • Ted S.||

    So wait a second. Joe and Dunphy are the same person?

  • ||

    Incorrect, joe knows how to use capitalization and punctuation.

  • SugarFree||

    And the police have minimum height requirements. Not one takes a cop seriously that has to sit on a stack of phone books and have someone else work the pedals so they can drive the cruiser.

  • ||

    They should. Getting shot in the kneecaps by an angry entitled dwarf hurts

  • LTC(ret) John||

    So it is Officer Joe Dunphy, POWERCOP and unmitigated force for good?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Aww, no me in there under my old handle.

    But there is some J sub D. Here's some office scotch to him!

  • Randian||

    Hear hear!

  • robc||

    lol,

    I made both a Who concert and a Hillsborough reference in one post.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    what, I wondered, do you teach a son?

    "Seriously, kid- check to see how deep the water is before you ride your bike off the roof of the boathouse."

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "before you ride your bike off the roof of the boathouse"

    That sounds kind of fun.

  • $park¥||

    I have a question (or two, depending how you look at it) for the paleos out there. What is your main source of fiber and how much do you eat/drink in a day?

  • T||

    Most of my fiber is the lettuce and other veg that goes in the salad I eat for lunch.

  • Trespassers W||

    My main source of fiber is vegetarians.

  • Lord Humungus||

    I'm not paleo but a low carber -

    nuts
    leafy greens/salad
    minimal helping of some fruit
    green beans
    broccoli

  • sarcasmic||

  • ||

    Why wouldn't she be?

  • Brett L||

    She did just squeeze out a pup.

  • Randian||

    Megan Fox is still hot!

    False.

  • ||

    Is there something wrong with your brain?

  • Randian||

    Yes. I mean no.

    I find Meghan Fox to be an attention-whoring skank, and if I was feeling generous, a 7 at best.

  • ||

    You say that like that's a bad thing. Is there something wrong with your brain?

  • Randian||

    I did reconsider backing down, but given that this is Joe Remembrance Day, fuck you I'm the A#1 Thread Winnah:

    joe| 12.2.08 @ 2:57PM

    J sub D,

    Wow, I'm really under your skin, aren't I?

    "You dishonest fuck?" My my.

    Go drink with your war criminal buddies, old fart. It's all you're good for.
  • Hell's Librarian||

    It is for posts like this that I sometimes wish H&R had a "like" feature.

  • Brett L||

    Now I'm gonna have to crack the office bottle and drink one for J sub D.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Brett,

    You just beat me to that idea. Let's toast!

  • Brett L||

    May his monocle be clear, his servants attentive, and his spats ever undirtied in a heaven free of cops and statists.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Would it be better to have the cops be the servants?

  • Brett L||

    How would they get to heaven?

  • ||

    being a libertarian's servant is their hell

  • ||

    Have you been eating yoghurt?

  • Lord Humungus||

    what's better than a 10? A 7 who swallows /old joke

  • sarcasmic||

    Q: What's the difference between a job and a wife?

    A: After a few years the job still sucks.

  • sarcasmic||

    You're just jealous that she didn't turn into a blimp after squeezing out a brat.

  • Complainy Janey||

    This is why there are no libertarian women. Cunt.

  • sarcasmic||

    Can't
    Understand
    Normal
    Thinking

  • sarcasmic||

    Home invader holds infant at gunpoint. Who does he think he is? The police?
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....ousin.html

  • sarcasmic||

    Taylor Swift appears to be shedding her "good girl" image. Really? How many breakup songs does she have? Might as well change her name to 'Butter' because she spreads so easy!
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....-AMAs.html

  • Lord Humungus||

    Edmund: This is the Jane Herrington?

    Percy: Yes.

    Edmund: Jane - bury-me-in-a-Y-shaped-coffin - Herrington.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "bury-me-in-a-Y-shaped-coffin"

    Excellent - that is one of the most useful descriptors I have ever seen. Love it. Rowan Atkinson is wasted talent doing Mr. Bean, and not more Blackadder.

  • Enough About Palin||

    There was married couple named Ed and Martha who did EVERYTHING together. No one ever saw them apart. Everyone said "Ed and Martha? Those two were just made for each other!"

    And then the man died. The woman dealt with her loss by fucking men. Lots and lots of men. This went on for years and years until finally, one day, she died too.

    After her funeral, mourners followed the hearse to the cemetery, where Martha was buried beside her long-dead husband Ed. As the reverend prayed over their graves, two of the mourners began whispering, "Well, they're finally together."

    "Ed and Martha?"

    "No, her legs."

  • ||

    You'll get over her. I did

  • Lord Humungus||

    So did Baldrick actually.

  • ||

    at least she bangs like a privy door when the plague's in town

  • Brett L||

    Moonshinin' in City Hall. Hopefully, things like this will help lead an anti-prohibitionist movement in home spirit making. I mean, this is obviously a licensed microdistillery, but if it doesn't blind people, maybe they'll relax the laws.

    The clanking of the still and the smell of corn and alcohol fill the room several yards and a few interior walls away from the offices of the city clerk, the mayor and other officials running the town about 60 miles north of Atlanta. The city leases the space to the distillery.

  • sarcasmic||

    if it doesn't blind people, maybe they'll relax the laws.

    Haaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha! They only reason why it doesn't blind people is the laws! If it doesn't blind people well then there needs to be more laws just to be on the safe side!

    Relax the laws... that's hilarious!

  • sarcasmic||

    Robbers bring knife to a gunfight. One dies, the other is captured.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....knife.html

  • Drake||

    Do they report this in an UK paper to mock the Brits for their lack of gun rights? Or, because U.S. national media won't touch these stories.

  • Restoras||

    Well US newspapers certainly don't want US citizens to know that they have a Constitutional guarantee to keep and bear arms and actually use them to defend your life, loved ones, and property.

    Decided I am going to buy a Marlin 1894 or a Springfield M1A. Thoughts from gun owners out there?

  • ||

    Go with the Springfield, it is more firepower by far. The marlin doesnt feed was well as the winchester 94 and holds less pressure....also the extractors on the marlins tend to fail over time. If you just have to have a lever go with win 94....but for all around purposes go with the springfield.

  • R C Dean||

    I've got an M1A. Wonderful gun, a little on the heavy side and not the easiest to maintain (that gas-operated semi-auto mechanism will get gunky). Mine's damn accurate, and fun to shoot. I tricked it out with a fawncy stock (one of those aluminum ones with all the rails) and a nice Trijicon sight.

    If I ever have a thousand bucks with absolutely no other purpose in life, I'd like to put a silencer on it, just for fun.

  • Drake||

    Don't buy that stupid Springfield Scout.

    The shorter barrel makes it less accurate, and the noise and recoil is horrendous. A 21" barrel is about right for a .308. A friend has one, it is a miserable thing to shoot.

    You can probably find a PTR91 for less (again, don't buy the short barrel) and a DS Arms for more.

  • T||

    I'd go with an LR308, but that's just me.

  • sarcasmic||

    Vegetarian firefighter claims harassment!
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....arian.html

  • Kwanzaa Cake||

    I think this confirms that becoming a vegetarian turns you into a pussy.

  • sarcasmic||

    You are what you eat.

  • Brett L||

    I 100% believe that this dude got merciless shit in the firehouse for being a vegetarian. The firefighters I knew in Houston were some of the most redneck, ball-busting assholes in the world. Funny as shit, but they were always fucking with someone.

  • ||

    So you fuck with 'em back. Geez.
    I would guess there is more reason that food that they wanted him out.

  • Brett L||

    Oh, I agree. I'm just saying that they most definitely harassed him, because they harass everyone.

  • ||

    He was probably one of the many, many holier-than-thou vegetarians/vegans who are utterly humorless about food, so he simply couldn't take it in stride.

  • NoVAHockey||

    My first week as a EMT I was told to go into the supply closest and get "a few feet of Fallopian tube."

    apparently some of the firefighters don't know what that is and would spend hours searching the fire station. i just told one of the female medics to that the lieutenant wanted to see her. and with that, i was "in" -- that and not fucking up/puking at my first trauma call.

    and if you don't eat with the crew, you're not part of the crew. you eat what they cook and STFU. and clean up your mess.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    From my understanding, firehouses tend to cook and eat meals together. So I can fully understand if Tofu Salad Night at the Station incurred some harassment.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Artist repaints dolls of stars so they really do look like the people they're supposed to be

    Plastic mini-me dolls manufactured to resemble iconic characters from film and TV invariably look nothing like the iconic characters from film and TV.

    At least, not until Noel Cruz has taken his paintbrush to them, that is.

    The portrait artist - known in the doll community as a 'repaint artist' - is known for his ability to turn even the most basic Mattel or Hasbro figurine into an incredibly realistic version of the celebrity on which it is modelled.
  • ||

    They blacked out a doll's tits. For fuck's sake.

  • T||

    For the children, Kristen. Because no child ever in the history of the world stripped Barbie naked and saw her plastic boob shaped protruberances.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Yeah that cracked me up. I checked out his website and it was the same there, so at least it wasn't the paper doing it.

  • $park¥||

    HA! They blacked out the breasts on the naked dolls.

  • ||

    PWNED!

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    The repainted Bella-doll's eyes are too lifelike.

  • Ice Nine||

    He was doing great until he got to Kate Winslett. Also, really, what kind of a guy puts freakin' rollers in dolls' hair anyway? OK, don't answer that question.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Oh, and I heard somebody here has a Sucker Punch fetish. For $1000, this can be theirs.

  • Randian||

    $1000? It better be real-life and anatomically correct, ifyouknowwhatImsaying and Ithinkyoudo.

    And it should have a coffee maker built in, FFS.

  • Lord Humungus||

    is a sucker punch better than a donkey punch?

  • ||

    A woman in western Sweden who was arrested after police found skeletons in her apartment has now been charged for using the bones as sex toys, a hobby she claimed was motivated by an interest in history.

    http://www.thelocal.se/44536/20121120/

  • Ken Shultz||

    Well if she did it becasue of an interest in history, that's one thing; just so long as it wasn't to avoid paying sales tax.

  • SugarFree||

    World's Funniest Human doesn't understand Black Friday and would certainly never participate in such a crass ritual of capitalism. So why does it even exist?

    Long, long ago, in a time known as the '80s, Black Friday sales started on a day called "Friday," at an actual hour that an actual store might actually have been open—say, 8 or 9 or 10 am. Over the years, the kick-off hours have been slowly rolling back—to 3 am, 4 am, midnight. And this year, stores such as Target, Wal Mart, and Toys R Us plan to start their Black Friday sales at 7 or 8 pm on Thursday, smack in the middle of the Thanksgiving dinner hour. Because fuck your turkey, MEN'S POLAR FLEECE MOCK-TURTLE HALF-ZIPS ARE 60% OFF. Get ready for Black Friday Part Deux: Black Thursday: The Legend of Curly's Pulverized Ribcage. I am not following any of this. Can someone explain it to me, slowly and using small, nonthreatening words? Please?
  • ||

    Pure comic genius. Why doesn't this person have their own show?

  • SugarFree||

    TV can't afford her.

  • ||

    Thank Jeebus.

  • Randian||

    TV can't afford her.

    Wide lenses are expensive and all the good ones are on set at Mike & Molly.

  • 0x90||

    DON'T GET ME STARTED. There was a time, you know, back when we had a thing called talent, where a person(a MALE person, anyway, but let's not quibble) could move to LA and have their talent recognized. Full House? Mad About You? I could've done that, plus some. BUT NO LONGER. NO, SIR. How do I know? I. Don't. Have. A. Show. I mean, seriously?!? Have you read my stuff? Pure gold. And not some weak 14K shit, like my imaginary boyfriends give me, no, we're talking real 25K gold. Yeah, that's right, this gold goes to TWENTY-FUCKING-FIVE. And screw this Lena Gangnam bitch, talentless flavour of the month HACK. Yeah, I could sell out too, but I WON'T. Because I have too much respect, for me and for you. So put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Hollywood Bigwig who I didn't even try to peddle my talent to. You can't have me. Because I belong to my fans. It's a principle thing. And. You. Wouldn't. Get. That.

  • SugarFree||

    A+

  • LTC(ret) John||

    *Applause*

  • Kwanzaa Cake||

    7pm is the middle of Thanksgiving dinner hour? I thought everyone ate mid-afternoonish.

  • Trespassers W||

    Yes, but she's still eating at 7 pm.

  • Fatty Bolger||

  • ||

    all i could think was "Do I make you horny, baby?"

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Oh good, I was going to complain you hadn't posted this along with the flashback.

  • SugarFree||

    Is the handle "Complainy Janey" free for you to use?

  • ||

    "concern troll nicole" has a nice rhyme to it.

  • SugarFree||

    As does Nicki Diamond, Book Whore.

    "Book Whore? Does that mean you whore out books or you sleep with books or what?"

    "Shut up, dumbass... I'm reading."

  • Complainy Janey||

    I do. not. do. Nicki.

  • SugarFree||

    That's why it's funny. Duh.

  • T||

    How about Nikki? Does that work for you?

  • Complainy Janey||

    I was going to include a note that alternate spelling are also no good, sigh.

  • ||

    It looks like the whorename "Nikki Diamond" is taken. Shockingly enough, she claims to not do nudes. Steal her name and outwhore her, nicole.

  • ||

    We should unquestionably call nicole Nikki Diamond, Book Whore from now on.

  • Complainy Janey||

    I am obviously willing to be internet-bullied, but let me mansplain for just a second that, aside from "Nikki" being just a horrible, horrible thing (I was called "Nick" as a kid), the "book whore" thing is like...a thing. See bookslut, "insatiable booksluts," etc.

    But I, I will be the best book whore of them all.

  • Complainy Janey||

    Yes, yes it is.

  • sarcasmic||

    Stubble on Michael Jackson? Really?

  • sarcasmic||

    That was supposed to be a reply to the painted dolls.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    It was entirely possible before the 17th surgery.

  • Brett L||

    Talk about rich yuppie othering. Some people have 2 kids and 8-10 nieces and nephews for whom they would like to get one or more than one present for. Its pretty easy to run up $400-$600 in that scenario without going nuts. If you don't happen to be rich, keeping it to $400 by standing in line for several hours is pretty fucking economically sound. Just because her family are cold, bitter people doesn't mean everyone else's are.

    I, for one, will have Amazon play Santa for me, but I don't turn my nose up at people who are willing to stand in line for several hours to buy something nice for their family members.

  • T||

    I know people who use a spreadsheet to keep track of whether they've bought for all the nieces and nephews. If they didn't keep it under 20 bucks a kid, they'd go broke.

  • ant1sthenes||

    Does she get that if people don't show up, they won't waste time doing it?

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Speaking of Trample Friday Thursday, if I were not so goddam lazy (and crowd-averse), just or fun I would go to Walmart Thursday evening and buy some bullets, just in case the commie fags from the union are protesting.

  • Zeezrom||

    "was previous convicted"

    "the Control Substances Act"

    Did you guys start the long weekend a little early?

  • ||

    There's a long weekend?

  • SIV||

    You don't get 2 paid days off for THE FEAST OF GENOCIDE?

  • ||

    Nosir...just the one. And Thursday is normally my telework day, so the only difference is I get to wake up slightly later.

  • ||

    Genocide of the Dee-Troit Lions? I can get behind that.

  • Brett L||

    You get paid to take days off?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    My orphan servants pay me to take a day off.

  • Enough About Palin||

    I get paid ten bucks just to take a shit.

  • Brett L||

    I'm an independent contractor. I always bill crapper time. They'd throw me out of the guild if I didn't.

  • Scott S.||

    It was 5 a.m. out here when I wrote that. I even proofread it.

  • Zeezrom||

    Making the west-coast guy do the morning links? Those Koch brothers really are evil bastards!

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Under Balko's watch, etc, drink.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Rand Paul considering 2016 run:

    http://livewire.talkingpointsm.....-not-going

  • Randian||

    So what excuse will you be employing to vote Democrat in 2016?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Hillary or Rand? I would vote Rand. But Hillary won't run so that choice won't matter.

    I would vote for the Montana Governor over Rand though - per my rule of voting for the most secular capitalist.

  • KDN||

    "Look, the stock market is up 3% in the past year thanks to Obama and Buffet loves Biden's plan to increase taxes. Rand's just peddling more GAWD talk and typical GOP tax cut bullshit. Biden's clearly the better option for libertarians and capitalism even though he fails the LP purity test."

    How'd I do?

  • Randian||

    Needs more aborto-freak Christfag.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    A very good first effort - by 2016, we won't be able to tell, is it live or is it shreik-ex.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Barring Pro Lib making a run, he's got my vote.

  • ||

    Don' worry 'bout a thing...it's not Rand's "turn". He's gotta get in line behind Santorum, Jindal and FaFu.

  • ||

  • Ken Shultz||

    Well it's cold outside.

  • Restoras||

    As long as there isn't a baby boom in Canada as a result. The last thing the world needs is more fucking Canadians.

  • ||

    fucking Canadians

    That train sailed as soon as the lockout started.

  • ||

    You better check yourself and get on the high stick, IFH.

  • SugarFree||

    What do Ukrainians do for Thanksgiving, Dear Doctor?

  • Randian||

    They run around ruining games of Risk.

  • Zeezrom||

    UKRAINE IS GAME TO YOU?

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Seinfeld

    Back when we played this game constantly over summer vacations, it did seem like Ukraine was often the key to victory.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    False. Victory comes from a stronghold in Siam. Ukraine is the key to being attacked from all sides.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Though I did see someone manage to hold Europe once... By stacking a massive army in Northern Europe and only one guy in the border countries, so no one (especially the guy trying to hold Africa) wanted to unleash the dragon while denying him his continent bonus.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    It's been way too long for me to remember specific tactics. I just remember that Ukraine was where the tide of the battle often turned, one way or another. Which was actually pretty realistic for the time period.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Ukraine is connected to way too many other countries, making it impossible to hold.

    Siam is the only connection point to Australia. The best strategy is to get Australia, and stack up troops in Siam to prevent anyone getting in. Then you just keep raking in that +2 army continent bonus.

  • ||

    They don't have American Thanksgiving, Saccharin Man. I haz a sad, so I will have to improvise. However, I will be in Odessa for Turkey Day. I wanted to have the appropriate foodstuffs shipped, but I will have to make do with the local fare. -)

    Unlike some of the novelty American Holidays, like Halloween, "Thanksgiving" proper hasn't matriculated over here yet, and probably won't. Besides, these people are hearty eaters anyway. They just don't eat a bunch of highly processed shit, and you really have to look hard to find a lardass, unless they are either Brit, Canuckistani, or the highest likelihood, Yank. -)

    My favourite game has been, "Spot the American."

  • Brett L||

    And you've started adding the Imperial "u" in favorite to throw people off?

  • SugarFree||

    May you find the turkey in anything you wind up eating.

  • Lord Humungus||

    The person not wearing the track suit?

  • Randian||

    They just don't eat a bunch of highly processed shit, and you really have to look hard to find a lardass, unless they are either Brit, Canuckistani, or the highest likelihood, Yank. -)

    I like you, but don't turn into THAT GUY, please.

    hurr durr americanz are teh fats. PROCESSED FOODZ.

  • ||

    Truth hurts, TAO. Genetics, what you eat, and most importantly, how much has great influence on one's waistline. These people tend not to gorge themselves into states of Corpulo Tyrannico Muy Gordo.

    The overwhelming number of Fatties I have seen are, well, USA born an bred. Canuckis are running a close second. The Brits with whom I have become acquainted are almost all skinny, oddly enough. I expected them to be a bit more on the lardassed side.

  • Tim||

    It's because we are eating everybody elses food?

  • Randian||

    Your anecdotes about who is fat is not backed by data.

    Yes, the United States has the highest obesity rate. That is followed by countries like Luxembourg, Finland, the UK and Ireland.

  • ||

    I'm simply relating what I see, TAO, and granted Okie-land is a pretty hefty state since the majority of my patients there were obese (probably about 52% or so), but odds are better than 2:1 if you see a lardass here in UKR, it's an American.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Maybe those Ukrainians should get better at producing food.

  • R C Dean||

    However, I will be in Odessa for Turkey Day.

    I'm sorry to hear that. Midland/Odessa may be the bleakest town I've ever driven through.

  • JW||

    I think he meant THE Odessa, not that Lone Star one-off.

  • Tim||

    Are we largely monkey free now?

  • $park¥||

    Have we won in Libya yet?

  • Tim||

    We haven't examined all of the intelligence yet.

  • SIV||

    spam by a third-party spam filter:

    Here

  • ||

    do we want to be?

  • Tim||

    We wants it, oh yes my precious, we wants it.

  • Brett L||

    Both Chevy Volt owners butthurt by hecklers.

    owners of the Chevrolet Volt, GM's innovative plug-in hybrid, report that they've been booed, heckled and vandalized, presumably because they own a car deemed offensive to fellow taxpayers. These tales of Volt rage were uncovered by the car-research site Edmunds, which runs several online forums where owners swap stories.

  • Zeezrom||

    Why is the writer assuming that the vandals are taxpayers?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    What I'm annoyed at is the free charging stations for these things. You want to use electricity instead of gas to run your car? Cool. Go for it. But use your own damn electricity.

  • Ken Shultz||

    There are $10,000 of government incentives to buy in every car...

    The vandals are just takin' a few bucks back, and that's not including the billions GM owes them becasue of the bailout.

    Just because something like vandalism is and should be illegal doesn't mean it's ethically wrong.

  • Mike M.||

    What do you expect, given that most of these exploding clown cars have been sold to government entities.

    I still have yet to see one out on the road being driven by an actual person.

  • ||

    Ha! Now that is amusing.
    The first time I saw a volt it was parked on the street. I put a big lung cookie on the windshield. It warms my heart to know that other volt owners are suffering the same kind of derision.

  • Enough About Palin||

    "The top leader of Hamas has dared Israel to invade Gaza. No word on whether he made chicken sounds or called Netanyahu a pussy."

    Dead children pics or it didn't happen.

  • Tim||

    "NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare you"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare. "

  • np||

    who likes Korean models?
    Heo Yun Mi

  • ||

    Chinese models are better

  • np||

    I have to wonder, if gramps was secretly into it all along, like LBJ or something. He looks great in that bottom gangnam style pic though.

  • Brett L||

    Sweet. A friend just called with an extra ticket to the FSU-UF game. I can't wait to see the fucking Gators lose.

  • Tim||

    So you're a Gator hater?

  • Brett L||

    Apparently, from way back. When other kids were singing nonsense nursery rhymes, according to my mother, I was chanting "go to hell, Gators". I also have a degree from FSU.

  • SIV||

    "Go To Hell Gay-tors Go To Hell...EAT SHIT!"

  • KDN||

    Isn't everyone? Between Spurrier, Tebow, the SEC, that awful group cheer, Urban Meyer, and Emmitt Smith there's something for all of us.

  • Spartacus||

    GOOD! GOOD! Let the hate flow through you!

  • ||

    Percy Harvin. I can't hate on UF. I just can't even...

  • Spartacus||

    Get ready to cry. We will enjoy your delicious salty Nole tears.

  • Brett L||

  • Spartacus||

    OK, that's pretty funny. Almost as funny as this.

  • Jerryskids||

    So Holder is holding on for "about a year" into 0^2 - do they think it will take about a year to cover up his crimes or about a year to uncover something they can actually send him to prison for?

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Child's appendix bursts after 20 hour ER wait

    William arrived at Astrid Lindgren Children's Hospital in Stockholm last Thursday after suffering stomach pains for days. He was immediately diagnosed with appendicitis, but then nothing happened.

    After having his operation repeatedly pushed back by doctors, William's desperate parents were told by the chief surgeon that an operation would only be possible if it was carried out "the old-fashioned way", rather than using a procedure which resulted in less scarring.

    "There was only one overnight operating room to handle all of Stockholm's children," William's father told DN.
  • Tim||

    That's how we keep costs down.

  • ||

    If only Sweden had socialised health care

  • SugarFree||

    Damn those, Kulaks!

  • JW||

    You get what you pay for.

  • ||

    OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!!! This is inexcusable! I do lap appies, and they should NEVER be "pushed back". Generally, the only reason an open procedure is indicated is when the appendix ruptures and spills all over the place within the abdominal cavity.

    The reason the scarring is so large is: A) Open proceure, meaning a big incision (called a Mc Burney's incision) B) The healing has be delayed and second intention healing employed, meaning the WX has to heal from deep to superficial to prevent pockets of infection becoming incarcerated and settling in the rejoined tissues.

  • ||

    and let's not forget the three related stories on that page:

    Woman awakes during hysterectomy op
    Man left with rotting leg after hospital 'loses' him
    Swede forced to fake stroke to get x-ray

  • ||

    Kathleen Sibelius approves.

  • JW||

    You just know that Donald Berwick is experiencing a priapism over this.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Thanks, JW - I am going to have to pour hot acid in my ear to burn that image out of my brain.

  • ||

    I can never make headway with any of these socialized healthcare horror stories because FREE FREE FREE and "well it's even worse in America!"

  • The Late P Brooks||

    I would vote for the Montana Governor over Rand

    You mean the guy who wants the First Amendment repealed?

    That suits you, Shreeek.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    I will be in Odessa for Turkey Day. I wanted to have the appropriate foodstuffs shipped, but I will have to make do with the local fare.

    Endeavour to persevere, Groovus. Endeavour to persevere.

    One of the best Thanksgiving dinners I ever had was crab curry.

  • ||

    Thanks ya, Brooksie! I'll be cooking a few of my family recipes, but I'll be using local stuffs and fowl. The rest will be local fair.

    And vodka. Lots of vodka. And wine. -)

  • 0x90||

    24/7 reports Asian Leaders Launch Free Trade Talks

    Being from the west, I naturally read it as "Launch Free Lunch Talks."

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Man accidentally gives away life savings in old shoe

    A Texas man thought he was being charitable but ended up being a little too generous: Included in a pair of shoes donated to Goodwill were his and his wife's life savings.
  • Gleep Glop||

    The Magic Tree house series might be a good choice for a 6 year old boy:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M.....use_series

  • Gleep Glop||

    Damn...I have not yet mastered the art of placing comments where they need to go...

    Can a comment ninja help?

  • ||

    why bother? The Late P Brooks shows a lordly disdain for threaded comments, and perhaps we should learn from his example

  • robc||

    Reading thru the trample thread, its great to see unthreaded comments again.

  • Brett L||

    Took me a second to readjust my brain. My first thought was, "wow, everybody talked past each other that day."

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I like how everyone always quoted what they were responding too. We don't get that now with either responses to long posts or after you've hit the right wing wall.

  • robc||

    Thats the problem with the right wing wall.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Who are you talking to, robc?

  • Tim||

    Godzilla movies are better.

  • ericamitchell||

    O

  • ericamitchell||

    Many of us do not believe that he could work and profit from the Internet. I personally, at first I did not believe it . but when I made $76 /hr I knew it was not difficult. you wont forgive yourself if you don't check it out..WWW.MEL7.CMM

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