Everybody’s Worried About Cliff, Hillary Clinton Wants Out, Rice Wants GOP to Actually Adapt: P.M. Links

  • Speaker John Boehner would like to delay dealing with the fiscal cliff until 2013 and extend all tax cuts for now. President Barack Obama says “Tax the rich!”
  • Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is likely to step down after Obama’s second inauguration.
  • CIA Head and former general David Petraeus resigned, citing an extra-marital affair.
  • President Barack Obama received 99 percent of the vote in some Philadelphia wards.
  • U.S. Virgin Islands Senator Alvin Williams has been arrested, charged with demanding bribes in exchange for his support for various development projects.
  • Condoleezza Rice is urging the GOP to actually adapt to demographic changes in the United States and not just trot out minorities (like Rice) to speak, while sending out messages about women’s and immigration issues that turn these same people away.
  • Colorado’s pot legalization hits a snag due to technicalities over the state’s taxation system. There may have to be another vote to give the state the right to tax marijuana sales.

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    President Barack Obama received 99 percent of the vote in some Philadelphia wards.

    On some of the vote machines that never made it to the precincts from the warehouse, he got one hundred percent!

  • ||

    In 13 Philadelphia wards, Obama received 99 percent of the vote or more.

    Those wards, many with large African American populations

    None of whom were racist. None.

  • Lewisite||

    And nothing else happened.

    the end.

  • Brutus||

    Many likely didn't even show up...turnout in Philly was reported to be about 60%. In precincts where Republican poll-watchers were run out, turnout shot up to 90%.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "President Barack Obama received 99 percent of the vote in some Philadelphia wards."

    I don't think Saddam Hussein did that well in the sham elections he held before we invaded Iraq.

  • Drake||

    Really. Those are Stalin / Castro numbers.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Did you see the mural? It was pretty convincing.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    The old joke is President Assad of Syria won the election by 99%. When he seemed upset his aides said he won with 99% and asked him what more did he want. He said the names of those who voted against him.

  • Gray Ghost||

    Philly's got 66 wards and ~1.5 million people. Assuming the wards from the article are the same as the wards that Philly's divided in, that means each ward has, ballpark, 22,500 people. Assume 2/3 of those are voters. So ~15,000 people. You can't even get 99 percent of 15,000 people to show up to something, never mind have all of them vote for the same guy. One percent will fuck up their ballot, if nothing else.

    It's fraud on its fucking face. The only thing more obviously fraudulent would be if he got 105 percent turnout, and then we'd be hearing how the Philadelphia experiment imported 1000's of new voters from other districts. Or that math is racist, or something. And to have the paper act like a fraud claim is mere sour grapes...

    They're going to push to see what they get away with. Both sides, but I'm not seeing obvious evidence of GOP fraud this time. If you don't crack down on obvious shit like this, they're going assume it's o.k., and figure out where the limits are.

    The internal Dem polls for PA must have scared the shit out of them for them to cheat so blatantly. Losing's one thing. We have elections; someone's gotta' win and someone's gotta' lose. But when it's stolen, and when people start thinking that the only way to win is to steal better than the other guy...I don't think we want to start heading down that road. I like it that U.S. political history usually didn't have the streetfighting that often characterized Europe. That may change.

  • Gray Ghost||

    O.K, re-reading it, it wasn't that 99 percent of all registered voters in an area voted for Obama, it was that, of all votes cast in that ward, 99 percent were for O. Which is a little better, and not as obviously fraud.

    But if it's not a surprising result, I'm sure there's plenty of previous U.S. elections where the split in a voting area was 9995 to 54. Right? Shouldn't be hard to round up a few examples.

  • C. Anacreon||

    I wonder if Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids voted.

  • Entropy Void||

    You have doubts?

    Mushba Mouthba ain'tba gonnaba beba noba raceba traitorba!

  • Generic Stranger||

    I seem to recall there were a few cases where cities had vote totals that were 106% of totals during the AL Franken race in Minnesota. No one blinked at that.

  • Generic Stranger||

    *106% of the number of registered voters.

  • Entropy Void||

    No libtard Democrat blinked at that.

  • Generic Stranger||

    True.

  • LilDebbie||

    I take it you haven't seen Gangs of New York? Or the various gangland activity that plagues our nation to this day?


    Take a look at our murder rate some time. We put Europe to shame.

  • Generic Stranger||

    Our murder rate is almost entirely due to the War on Drugs. It has little to do with the political process, besides the fact that idiot politicians are responsible for it.

  • ||

    Obama has a 90ish% approval rating among blacks. These Philly precincts are essentially 100% poor blacks. I don't think a 99-1 split is surprising or fraudulent at all.

  • ant1sthenes||

    Didn't they toss out the GOP poll observers, though? If they weren't cheating, they were trying their best to make it look like they were.

  • robc||

    Exactly my thought. I wonder how many extra "votes" were cast in those morning hours before the judge reinstated them.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Riiiiiiiight.

    Go rustle up an equivalent Red Team district.

  • Atlas Stoned||

    Yeah, a Team Red State Senator in my district won hi election with 85% of the total vote over a span of 6 counties. While 99% is fucking crazy, these type of numbers are not impossible to believe.

  • ||

    I doubt there is one. I don't know of any group that supports the GOP 9-1. But that's how blacks vote. In the last 4 election, black Protestants
    voted Democrat:

    2000: 92-7
    2004: 86-13
    2008: 94-4
    2012: 95-5

    That 4-7% is probably highly educated, military, or both. These precincts are essentially 100% poor, uneducated, non-military, and black. Given these statistics, 99-1 isn't surprising.

  • Gray Ghost||

    99% of something is a bit tougher to achieve than 95% of something.

    The 95-5 is interesting. But I'd like to see some other 99-1 results over a population of 10k voters before I think that fraud isn't the more likely reason. Especially when pollwatchers were told to go take a hike.

    There are plenty of 85-15 results. My own voting region gets numbers like that. 99-1 is another kettle of fish.

  • ||

    Good thing those international polling station watchers were sent to Fraud Capitals like Texas and Iowa.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Condoleezza Rice is urging the GOP to actually adapt to demographic changes in the United States and not just trot out minorities (like Rice) to speak...

    CONDOLEEZZA RICE = RINO!

  • Drake||

    Let's go to Marco Rubio for a rebuttal.

  • Randian||

    Or Ted Cruz. Or Clarence Thomas. Or the Log Cabin Republicans. Or the RLC.

  • General Butt Naked||

    How about that there Indian feller from Louziann?

  • Jeff||

    Elizabeth Warren?

  • General Butt Naked||

    That's good.

  • Randian||

    Or Nikki Haley. Or Condi Rice. Or Marco Rubio.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Or Sarah Palin, or Michelle Bachmann, or Herman Cain...

  • Turd in the Punchbowl||

    Translation: in order to win, Republicans need to be better Democrats.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    No. They need to actually be conservative and promote a small government in every facet of life.

    I don't give a shit what a person or group of people believes; I care what they are willing to use the power of government to force upon me.

  • Mickey Rat||

    "They need to actually be conservative and promote a small government in every facet of life."

    That sounds nice, but what in the results of this election indicate that that is a winning a strategy.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    What results indicate that it isn't?

    Romney lost because he was seen as substantively no different than Obama, only he would start another war, ban abortions, and lock women in closets or something.

    You seem to think that anyone other than hard core team players voted in this election. You're also forgetting 2010 saw landslide victories and a record number of Team BLUE seat losses because of the emphasis on small government.

    Simply blaming the "other side" for giving away free shit is absolving Team RED of blame. It's lazy and intellectually dishonest.

  • Mickey Rat||

    The social issues actuaalyy being debated in this election were "free shit". Social liberalism right now means using the government to force other people to violate their ethics.

  • Mickey Rat||

    You also did not answer the question posed, instead desparately clinging to your meme.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Every time the GOP runs a minority or female candidate, the media paints it as a cynical ploy.

  • Lewisite||

    This is true

  • DRM||

    Well, now that George P. Bush has filed papers to become a candidate in Texas, we'll finally have a minority Republican who is clearly the result of nepotism instead of a cynical ploy.

  • Coeus||

    Sleeping with the political enemy.

    Obviously people can marry whoever they want, and this is just, like, my opinion man. But don’t marry someone who votes Republican. Don’t even sex someone who votes Republican. Why? Because the Republican party is hostile to women’s humanity. The Republican party is hostile to women having the most fundamental rights to their own bodies. The Republican party is hostile to gay people even existing, let alone enjoying the same rights and privileges as straight citizens. The Republican party campaigns on racism.

    Don’t sleep with that guy.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Feminism.

  • Andrew S.||

    Wow, not Jezebel? Though they're probably upset that they didn't think of it first.

  • NeonCat||

    Please, Jezebel is/are squishy feminists compared to the hardcore Feministe ones.

  • tarran||

    DONDEROOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Oh wait!

  • Coeus||

    Similar, but the biggest difference is that donderoo doesn't constantly and successfully push through major legislation.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    But those chicks don't claim to be libertarian.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    The Republican party is hostile to women having the most fundamental rights to their own bodies.

    If I ever actually meet someone in person who says some shit like this to me, I might stroke out on the spot. More likely, I will say something like, "Oh, so I guess now that Obama was reelected I can go buy some heroin at CVS, right?" and they will just have no fucking idea what I'm talking about.

  • MJGreen||

    And if they answer, "But, birth control!" You still have the option of responding with, "So I can go buy the pill off the shelf at CVS, right?"

  • Coeus||

    They still won't get it. They've redefined the word "access" to mean "free". Making a point about greater access does not compute. How does stuff get more free?

  • nicole just can't even!||

    No, they might sort of almost get it (and probably still not care).

    Probably better off using raw milk as an example or something. But really I just don't think any of them would get it because they don't actually have any concept of self-ownership.

    [I said something to my analyst once about how we were oppressed because under the law currently we don't even own our own bodies, and she was just like, what do you mean, yes we do, and I said we couldn't control what we put in them, and just got like, the blankest look ever...you wouldn't believe how much you actually have to explain things to some people.]

  • Coeus||

    [I said something to my analyst once about how we were oppressed because under the law currently we don't even own our own bodies, and she was just like, what do you mean, yes we do, and I said we couldn't control what we put in them, and just got like, the blankest look ever...you wouldn't believe how much you actually have to explain things to some people.]

    I have had the same conversation with my doctor. She voted for Obama, by the way.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Haha, that's pretty rough. This is why I just don't bother getting into this shit with any "normals."

  • Coeus||

    This is why I just don't bother getting into this shit with any "normals."

    I have no problem proselytizing. As a youth, I gave a few sermons about "tolerance" during our "church youth week". I was an atheist at the time.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    I first read Reason in my doctor's waiting room. :)

  • Entropy Void||

    Home delivery.

    Then they can use the bus fare for lottery.

  • Gleep Glop||

    I responded to someone regarding the "but, birth control!" line by saying "How can you support those monopolistic, profit at all costs pharmaceutical companies that produce those pills?"

    I don't think they got it...

  • ||

    I had a friend deploy the exact same argument. When I tried to explain that someone might choose their political preferences on many factors besides reproductive rights, because other things are also important to them, she absolutely flipped her fucking lid.

    I think the mentality of "you're with us or against us" is much stronger among Blues. My family is mostly Team Red, at least they are willing to listen to and consider libertarian arguments.

  • MJGreen||

    A common cycle for me this year:

    I say, "One reason I'll never vote for Obama is..."
    Response: "Oh you're so simplistic/childish. What a rigid ideologue! That's a very complex issue, and you have to weigh it against all the other issues at stake and in comparison to the likely alternatives. [some time later] I can't understand how any woman or homosexual could vote GOP!"

    These people love to think themselves nuanced, moderate thinkers. I like to insist that, while a libertarian anarchist, I'm usually the most moderate person in the room.

  • Brutus||

    If I ever actually meet someone in person who says some shit like this to me, I might stroke out on the spot.

    And if a guy ever openly said that all women think alike or flatly reduced their identity to their sex organs, he'd be crucified. Yet here we are.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Can you imagine if the whole of wymynkind were as addled as that bunch? *shudders*

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    My reproduction chances would go down, oh say, half a percent.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Speaker John Boehner would like to delay dealing with the fiscal cliff until 2013 and extend all tax cuts for now. President Barack Obama says “Tax the rich!”

    It's assholes all the way down.

  • Randian||

    CIA Head and former general David Petraeus resigned, citing an extra-marital affair.

    ...and won't testify about Benghazi next week.

    Huh. Imagine that.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    So he's leaving to spend more time with his extra-marital affair?

  • BigT||

    Wife: Holly Petraeus heads the Office of Servicemember Affairs in the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

    That's Obama's new agency headed by Richard Cordray, a recess appointment. I hope the House de-funds the GD thing.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    The House can't. They tucked it inside the Federal Reserve.

  • Shocked||

    The worse thing about this is her office even exists . Not any paternalism.

  • hotsy totsy||

    Well, it deals with servicemembers affairs, so sounds like she's in the right place to deal with his.

  • Entropy Void||

    Ba-Dum-Bum!

  • Jeff||

    Huh. I've seen a lot of dudes in public life lie about having had an affair, but I think this may be the first time I've seen one fabricate an affair.

  • kinnath||

    Do you think he turned his receipt from the hooker in as part of his last expense report?

  • Randian||

    Yeah, that's a new one.

  • Libertarian||

    Thank god. I wasn't looking forward to this fascist running for president someday.

  • ||

    Fuck yes, I'd hit it. And you would too, mom or no mom.

  • WhatAboutBob||

    Sounds like the boyfriend "hit it" figuratively and the mother "hit it" literally!

  • ||

    Obviously. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar!

  • Randian||

    She's 14! What the hell?

  • ||

    So you're gay. There's nothing wrong with that.

  • tarran||

    It's California.

    They have that metric system over there.

  • Coeus||

    She's 14! What the hell?

    Now pretend you didn't know that and look at the pic again. I'll wait...


    See?

  • Randian||

    No.

  • Enough About Palin||

    As a former coach of womens gymnastics, I can tell from the picture she's a young teen.

  • ||

    You you admit to raping children???

  • ||

    Hey look, this pervert has never even downloaded the good Traci Lords pornos where she was 15. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAG

  • Coeus||

    the good Traci Lords pornos where she was 15.

    In all honesty, she was hotter latter in her career after her boobs caught up with her nipples.

  • ||

    OK, but she was all used up and 17 by that point. Gross.

  • ||

    She looked like Jessica Tandy by the time she was in The Tommyknockers.

  • gaijin||

    Can watching one of those old TL vids get you charged with watching child pornography?

  • tarran||

    Yep. They were all supposed to be destroyed.

  • Coeus||

    I've only seen her in compilation tapes made in the 90's (back in the days of vhs porn and 36k modems). Seems some people didn't get the message.

  • Coeus||

    Did they know in the early 90's that she was illegal? Or did that come out later?

  • tarran||

    In 1995 people were aware. The porn-hound I roomed with on the ship mentioned her as the underage porn-star whose stuff he was trying to get hold of.

  • Coeus||

    Well, I did buy the tapes with a fake ID, so I guess it evens out.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    8-year-olds, Dude.

  • Enough About Palin||

    I rode on the bus yesterday next to a girl of about 15 who was stunningly hot. Tons and tons of curly, dark hair. But under no circumstances would I even make-out with her. She's just a kid.

  • Sudden||

    I actually saw her at a Greek restaurant in Malibu a couple of months ago. She was dressed quite provocatively I must say.

  • ||

    Well, I know any implication that it is creepy to talk about 14 year old kids that way will be shouted down, but I do agree that the parents are partially to blame. No way in hell would my parents have let me leave the house like that at 14, and I got enough creepy and confusing attention as it was.

  • ||

    ...Go on.

  • ||

    Do you want tips on how to become the extremely sketchy old man at the community center, saying inappropriate things to 13 year old girls? I'm not saying that lifestyle doesn't suit you or anything.

  • ||

    I might as well start practicing, you know? We all know how I'm going to end up.

  • ||

    OK, but just be forewarned that it all ended rather anticlimactically for this dude. We eventually saw him "swimming" naked in the creek and mentioned it to Dad, who decided it was time for a little chat. Not sure what he said or what guns he mentioned but funnily enough we never heard from creepy old perv again. The End.

  • ||

    That sounds rather climactic, to be honest. Or does your dad murder perverts so often that it's routine?

  • ||

    I am quite expert at this, thus the handle.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Yes, part of being a parent is safeguarding against that kind of stuff happening to your 14-year old.

    Unfortunately, 14-year old girls are sexualized and, as with any 14 year old, often exercise poor judgement in response to attention.

  • ||

    And not to mention tolerating her dating this 18 year old dude for several months. Way to parent, morons.

  • ||

    The best part was getting her mom to believe I was 18. I really do look good for my age.

  • ||

    Why on Earth did you not bang the mom and daughter at the same time? You're a sick fuck, Episiarch.

  • ||

    Who says I didn't? I mean, really, it's me here. What do you think?

  • ||

    You will love it when you see pictures of the mom. No backsies, now.

  • ||

  • ||

    And HOLY SHIT, HOW DO YOU ALLOW YOUR DAUGHTER OUT OF THE HOUSE IN THAT WHOREDRESS?

  • ||

    Warty, if it weren't for terrible moms like that, how would teenage boys have any fun? Your prudishness is not in your best interests.

  • ||

    Just practicing for when I get to be the buzzkill dad. I better buy a hog farm, just in case, though.

  • ||

    "Enh. I've fallen on worse grenades."

    Remember George Carlin's line? "I never fucked a ten, but once I fucked five twos."

  • Entropy Void||

    Mom-and-a-half ... I think she ate the older sister to save her from losing her virginity.

  • ||

    I never actually confirmed anything!

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    That, too. This was a problem that was easily curable with a good shotgun, or at least a decent Eastwood expression.

  • Ted S.||

    You're Canadian. That's confusing and creepy enough all by itself.

  • Drake||

    Big wow on Petraeus. You would think the Director of the CIA could keep a secret.

    Maybe now he'll speak about what went down in Benghazi.

  • Randian||

    An announcement at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon?

    I wouldn't bet on it.

  • Drake||

    Now that I looked it up - and he has cancelled his testimony, this is pretty stinky.

    I wonder who else will get a note from his mistress excusing them from testifying?

  • Andrew S.||

    Never underestimate the stupidity of people in charge. The former head of ICE here in South Florida got busted for child porn. He was trading it via his AOL e-mail account.

  • Cytotoxic||

    The stupidest part is 'AOL'.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    AOL is actually up to some pretty interesting stuff these days. It is worth taking a look at.

    http://seekingalpha.com/articl.....urce=yahoo

  • rts||

    Climate Change May Have Doomed Ancient Maya, Study Finds

    Is there nothing climate change can't do?

  • ||

    I thought it was cutting down the rainforest that doomed the Maya. How strange that the cause of the Maya downfall has changed as the environmental cause du jour has changed.

  • Bingo||

    Next stop: Fracking doomed the Maya!

  • Sudden||

    You think it mere coincidence that the mayan architectural style resembles a mountain or hill with the top taken off for fracking operations?

  • Mickey Rat||

    You don't really know what fracking involves, do you?

  • tarran||

    Now that his paleoclimatological science is coming apart self-proclaimed Nobel Laureate Michael Mann is apparently moving to paleotempestology.

    Less math = less egg on his face. :)

  • Loki||

    I thought the Maya were doomed by Ancient Aliens at the first thanksgiving and their war with the pilgrims for control of the stuffing mines.

  • hotsy totsy||

    GMOs killed the Mayans at the first thanksgiving.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    If only they had listened to Nostradamus.

  • ||

    "The Mayans were optimists"

    Wish I'd come up with it.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    So. Damn. Stupid.

    No historian or archaeologist worth his salt would cite climatology as anything more than a contributing factor to the decline of the Mayan city-states. Abandonment of cities en masse was a response to a series of invasions and wars between the Mayans; a better climate might have even encouraged would-be invaders even more.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is likely to step down after Obama’s second inauguration.

    Going out on top?

  • ||

    Two episodes of Battlestar Galactical prequel Blood and Chrome debuts on YouTube.

    Prequels are generally pointless, but this doesn't seem that bad. The entire series will be shown as a TV movie on Sci-Fi in February.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The entire series? That's either a short series or a long movie.

  • ||

    I meant the entire movie. Remember how BSG began as a backdoor pilot miniseries? Same strategy here. The show is only viable because they shoot almost everything on greenscreen without any real sets, saving a lot of money.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I never watched Caprica, having been soured on BSG as the series went on.

  • ||

    Caprica was pretty good, its only season is avaialable on Netflix Instant.

    It pondered a lot of interesting themes and the only reason it got cancelled was because it took its time establishing the characters and storylines and probably turned off a lot of viewers. But the result was a solid sci-fi drama.

  • ||

    It was solid but...I just didn't give a shit. No character made me care. Not caring made me not care about watching. That's a fail.

  • ||

    I couldn't really care about Zoe, but definitely I was interested in the Adama storyline, mainly because Morales was so good in the role.

    By the end of season 1 I was really interested in seeing where they would go with the show, it had a lot of potential.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Morales is a great actor. If you haven't already seen it, watch Jericho's second season for confirmation of that fact.

  • JW||

    Not true. I cared deeply if the annoying wife would off herself.

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    You misspelled SyFy

  • Ted S.||

    Sci-Fi? You're behind the times.

    (Too lazy to look up how long it's been Siffy.)

  • Thane of Whiterun||

    I want to know what the frak is up with the (fake) glare.

    And what is it with sci fi pics and coed showers?

  • Coeus||

    Finally found something that the policeone commenters feel you should be fired for. Is it, excessive force? No, of course not. Is it rampantly breaking traffic or assault laws? You know it ain't. No, it's:

    being in a rap video.

  • sloopyinca||

    West Virginia cops don't fuck around. When they want to beat the shit out of someone, they really beat the shit out of someone.

    No charges were ever filed on any of the officers, but the charges against their victims were dropped.

  • ||

    I expected it to be the Beckley pigs. They're notorious bandits.

  • $park¥||

    I'm certainly no Republican, but this woman once again manages to write something vomit-inducing.

    The president now has the wind at his back, propelling a Democratic vision that balances a strong private sector with a supportive government and invests in the middle class while asking the wealthiest among us to pay their fair share.

    Republican leaders have a choice. They can decide yet again to attack and obstruct the president on day one, or they can work toward bipartisan solutions that keep American on the path to recovery.

  • dave b.||

    Barfman has really been slacking lately.

  • Enough About Palin||

    To be fair, in order to do his job he does have to spend some time eating. As to why Sandi shits all over the world, I really can't say.

  • Coeus||

    In his eagerness to shoot a dog, a tenn. cop accidently shoots his partner.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Let me fix that link for you.

    Either that dog's name is Karma or we'll find out the one copper was sleeping with the other's wife.

  • ||

    Either way it works for me.

  • Coeus||

    Probably is named Karma. Now if it had been a Rottweiler, it've been named Schadenfreude.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    By all means, read the comments from the police commander. I won't be surprised if they try to charge the homeowners with the shooting.

  • robc||

    I dont think the thought of "Maybe we should wait outside until they leave and then arrest them" ever occurred to him.

  • ||

    please, more pigs shooting pigs.

  • Coeus||

    Ok. here ya go.

    LAKEWOOD, Colo. — Police in the Denver suburb of Lakewood say an officer killed while investigating reports of gunfire may have been shot by another officer.

    Lakewood police spokesman Steve Davis says the officer was killed when police responded to a report early Friday of shots being fired in a residential area. Police located a home where the shots were believed to have been fired and arrested three people.

    Davis says the officer was shot after the trio had already been taken into custody. He says it's not clear who shot the policeman and investigators are looking at other possibilities.

    Davis says there was a lot of confusion when officers responded to the home that's near the border with the town of Edgewater.
  • rts||

    Canada to deregulate food packaging sizes

    (And of course the food packaging industry is running scared as it now means they may have to compete with American importers)

    But remember... all the regulations government imposes are by Top. Men. for the Greater. Good.

  • ||

    hcv survivor
    2012/11/09
    at 12:07 PM ET
    They should also require the country of origin to be clearly shown on the front of the package. This would allow consumers to use products from their countries of choice and I'm sure that this would mitigate the impact of size deregulation while making all our choices safer.

    TEH GMOS

    Solution: just spray the people who buy the Austrian cucumbers with s spray bottle.

  • rts||

    What the fuck did I just watch?

  • ||

    Finns, dude. Finns.

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    Made it in one minute and gave up.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Are you allowed to have yellow margarine yet though?

  • ||

    Man creates replica of Bilbo Baggins' sitting room out of balloons.

  • tarran||

    Who fucking wears a hat indoors!?!

  • Enough About Palin||

    Bob Dylan?

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Ladies?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Religious Jews and Muslims?

  • 0073735963||

    Everyone who's not an old crotchety geezer desperately clinging to outmoded social norms that were dumb in the first place?

  • Generic Stranger||

    My highschool enforced the shit out of that rule. Man that was annoying.

  • Rich||

    "My fellow Americans, it gives me great pleasure to announce the new head of the CIA, Valerie Jarrett."

  • Drake||

    Why would she take that demotion? She's already acting President.

  • sloopyinca||

  • Drake||

    I see the problem. They elected a Mexican look-alike for Boss Hogg.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Carlos Slim?

  • DRM||

    Well, yes, but Socorro is a separate-but-equally-corrupt city that is also in El Paso County.

  • Longtorso||

  • NeonCat||

    Good article/lecture on the Perils of History. I found it very thought provoking.

    http://www.usnwc.edu/getattach.....e-Lecture-

  • gaijin||

    interesting points about the predictive powers of history...and historians...I'd like to see an economist's take on this ;)

  • ||

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA LINDY WEST LOVES LINCOLN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Also, she somehow manages to make mocking DONDERRRROOOOOOO unfunny. That fat girl has a fat gift.

  • ||

    She literally cannot do, see, or think anything without relating it to current politics.

    It's fitting that her world must suck royally. She deserves it.

  • ||

    She'll never be able to watch Bridges of Madison County again.

  • ||

    That's a blessing in disguise.

  • ||

    What, you think she was more of an Every Which Way But Loose fan?

  • ||

    Aren't we all?

  • MJGreen||

    The couple reviews I've read say that Lincoln is largely about how shitty the political process is, requiring lying and double dealing to get a watered down accomplishment. I'm not going to jezebel - does she really say it's democracy porn? Like, look how awesome democracy and politics are?

  • nicole just can't even!||

    She really does. And that's about all I could handle reading. So much...emotion.

  • Bingo||

    Holy fuck her writing is unreadable.

  • Randian||

    Dear Lord is she ever unfunny.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    It's between her and Erin Gloria Something-Or-Other as to which Jezzie is the better confirmation of the feminist stereotype as it related to humor.

  • Bingo||

    Also holy fuck @ 900 Comments in DONDERRROOOO's breakdown article. It's gone viral, lol

  • Enough About Palin||

    Link?

  • Bingo||

    http://www.libertarianrepublic.....-only.html

    He's still responding to comments, lol.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    I didn't think I would ever feel bad for Dondero, but I sort of do.

    No, wait, I feel bad for the rest of us, because he's just making us look like morons too.

  • ||

    I mean, that DONDEROOOOO rant was the gift that kept on giving. I just kept finding more things to laugh at. Then Lindy West comes trundling along, either scaring humor away or sucking it into her massive collapsed core.

  • ||

    Be careful you don't cross her event horizon or you're never coming back.

  • ||

    HAY LAPA NO YA, DAGNO! BOONOWA TWEEPI, HA HA HA HA!

  • Bingo||

    "libs... did any of you fear for your personal safety while voting today?"
    YES I DID. I was absolutely, shaking-in-my-boots scared that Romney would win and i would lose the rights to my own body, lose the right to having affordable healthcare, that my student loans rates would skyrocket, that people i care very deeply for wouldn't be able to marry or have legal rights as partners simply because they have the same genitalia, and that "god"forbid should i find myself homeless, out of work or in desolation, that i would have to die in the streets alone, rather than get a measly fucking $200 in food per month, or a safe place to live in my time of need.
    The only thing you could have feared was losing your precious tax money, or having to be considered EQUAL to those around you.

    teh stoopid, it brusn

  • CE||

    And monocle shortages.

  • MJGreen||

    Just imagine what the screeds will be when an actual fiscal conservative is nominated.

  • Bingo||

    Never gonna happen. Prepare to see Liz Warren as your first female president.

  • SIV||

    I need to start building my artificial island in international waters NOW.

  • ||

    Fuck this cunt. If $200 is so measly go fucking earn it.

  • Bingo||

    Reading Jezebel makes me want to repeal the 19th Amendment.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    I was absolutely, shaking-in-my-boots scared that Romney would win and i would lose the rights to my own body

    UN-SELF-AWARENESS SMASH

  • AuH2O||

    Nicole, I think you need to create a twitter for "Anti-Feminist Hulk" to counter the already feminist hulk on there.

  • Rhywun||

    a safe place to live in my time of need

    What is she, expecting kittens?

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    But seeing as the 2012 election was very much about white males flailing violently as their monopoly on American politics erodes, it's satisfying and instructive to look back at the moment when they first felt their footing slip. Their horror and unease is palpable—and it's the same current of unease that sours the white elites of the modern GOP. The racist rhetoric isn't much different either.

    That's nice, but what about the JOOOOOOOOOOO bankers? Did they have anything to do with it?

    It's impossible to resist the urge to draw comparisons between Lincoln and Barack Obama—however tenuous those comparisons might be. But both, in their respective times, were/are wildly popular and violently hated by racists. And it's pleasant, like a delicious chewy worm, to think that even a flawed president can accomplish some magnificent shit.

    Good grief.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    BTW, am I the only one who finds parenthetical, oblique meme-speak writing to be tedious and obnoxious? At best, it's a writing style that works at cross purposes with a desire to be taken seriously as a thinker.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    You're not; far from it. It's not always bad, but it needs to be done in extreme moderation to work. Jezebel doesn't really do moderation.

  • Virginian||

    Holy shit, not light the libertymike signal, but Lincoln was not wildly popular at all. That's actually why we had a Civil War. Because half the country hated his guts and decided to split.

    Oh, and Obama wildly popular? 52% of the popular vote, and reelected with....51%? I haven't actually checked the final score. Assuming of course those are all legitimate votes.

    Wildly popular? What kind of chemicals does this bitch drink?

  • Lewisite||

    Antifreeze....soon...I hope

  • Enough About Palin||

    "Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is likely to step down after Obama’s second inauguration."

    She said she wouldn't do a second term at least 2 years ago. so this is no surprise.

  • ||

    I find myself firmly rooted in the Clavin camp.

  • ||

  • robc||

    Actually, she pretty much isnt considering it.

    She flat out said she cant get a vote in the eastern part of the state.

  • C. Anacreon||

    Hey, that's me in the picture with her! I'm ..."and guest."

    Oh, yeah? Prove it's not me.

  • CE||

    You know who else ran for the Senate in Kentucky?

  • ||

    Are you suggesting Rand Paul is one of the Boys from Brazil?

  • Entropy Void||

    He has blue eyes, doesn't he?

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Daniel Boone?

  • Enough About Palin||

    "Colorado’s pot legalization hits a snag due to technicalities over the state’s taxation system. There may have to be another vote to give the state the right to tax marijuana sales."

    Or you know, just don't tax it.

  • robc||

    Exactly, it hasnt hit a snag. They are required to legalize even if they cant tax it.

  • ||

    But that's like literally the only reason liberals want legalized pot. It has nothing to do with the philosophical and moral truth that the state has no business dictating what goes into your body. Nope, that only applies to a woman's vagina.

  • ||

    Just try not to laugh. I dare you.

  • ||

    Careful, joe will accuse you of rape or something.

  • OldMexican||

    President Barack Obama received 99 percent of the vote in some Philadelphia wards.

    Welcome to 70's Mexico.

  • CE||

    Hey, being a community organizer has its advantages.

  • ||

    HOLY SHIT A BABY TIGER!!!!!

  • ||

    I once had the opportunity to play with some baby lions. OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY WERE ADORABLE

  • ||

    I managed to win a VIP pass to the zoo for next year. I'm gonna pal around with all my lion friends all day long.

  • ||

    They don't actually like you and make fun of you when you leave, you know.

  • ||

    Aslan: It sounds like you learned much, young lion apprentice. Very well. But before you go, perhaps you would like...a stick of gum?
    Token:...No thanks.
    Aslan: Go on. It's spearmint!
    Token: No, because there's a spring in there, and if I pull the gum out, it's gonna hurt my finger.
    Aslan: Oh. So you don't want any gum then? Are you... sure? Go on, try it!
    Token: Tries to take a stick of gum Ow.
    Aslan: That is good stuhuff!
    Token: Jesus, lions suck!

  • ||

  • Cytotoxic||

    SF

  • DRM||

    No, no. That last line is:

    "Jesus-lions suck!"

  • nicole just can't even!||

    First Russell Crowe, now lions. We're going to stop believing all your showing off sometime, you know.

    PS--Thanks for the book, I'm loving it so far.

  • ||

    Glad to hear you like it. The Prof is one of my favorite characters ever.

    Oh, I have more stories and they're all true. But they need to be topical.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    It's got that nice homey feeling of something that just makes perfect sense and isn't at all stupid. So rare.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Starship Troopers and Heinlein's juveniles are also quite good.

    I'm not crazy about his Lazarus Long novellas, but lots of Heinlein fans consider them his most thought-provoking stuff.

  • Coeus||

    I'm not crazy about his Lazarus Long novellas, but lots of Heinlein fans consider them his most thought-provoking stuff.

    That motherfucker has some of the most quotable lines in literary history. For example:

    A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

    and

    It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

    and

    A man does not insist on physical beauty in a woman who builds up his morale. After a while he realizes she IS beautiful--he just hadn't noticed it at first.

    and one of my all time faves:

    Maybe Jesus was right when he said that the meek shall inherit the earth -- but they inherit very small plots, about six feet by three.
  • Entropy Void||

    Done it all save for butcher a hog and die gallantly ... but both are on the bucket list ...

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    That was the cutest thing I've seen in about a year. Now I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon looking at tiger videos.

    No. Actually. I'm going down to my local bar and having a Jim Beam. Have a good weekend you Reasonoids!

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    I can see where they got Tigger's personality from. That seems like a ball of energy.

  • Cytotoxic||

    The only time it makes sense to keep a cat as a pet.

  • Generic Stranger||

    Only for a bout a year. After that, it's generally not a good idea to be around them. They might eventually figure out that they're a fucking tiger.

  • ||

  • CE||

    So? Marlin Perkins used to send Jim in to wrestle with those, or run from grizzly bears, or dodge Cape Buffalo every third or fourth episode, back in the day.

  • General Butt Naked||

    Yawn, happens every time I take a piss in the jungle.

  • DRM||

    Well, of course. They have to be at least 25 feet long before they qualify for free SuperSaver shipping.

  • OldMexican||

    U.S. Virgin Islands Senator Alvin Williams has been arrested, charged with demanding bribes in exchange for his support for various development projects.

    Wait, what? He was arrested for doing his job?

    The world has turned upside-down!

  • Chris Mallory||

    The Republicans didn't lose because of demographic changes. They lost because they have thrown the white working class under the bus. If Romney had come out for an immigration moratorium he would have been elected. The "diverse" vote in the Rust belt is less than 5% in most of the states. The blue collar whites in those states stayed at home. Increasing the supply of workers just drives down wages, especially during a time of high unemployment.

  • OldMexican||

    Re: Chris Malory,

    Romney had come out for an immigration moratorium he would have been elected.

    No, he would not. Advocating such a thing does not change the fact that he was not convinced he was a conervative, not even at least a fiscal one.

    Increasing the supply of workers just drives down wages, especially during a time of high unemployment.

    Which is why the economics geniuses such like yourself should advocate for patriotic suicide, just to keep the supply of workers down.

    The economics illiterate will never realize that as wages go down, so do the prices of goods and services, as these become more affordable to produce.

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    However, if this occurs throughout the economy, we see no results, as no one can buy any more than before.

  • OldMexican||

    Re: Doktor Kapitalism,

    However, if this occurs throughout the economy, we see no results, as no one can buy any more than before.

    Even if that were true (which is not since it would otherwise mean capital is homogeneous, i.e. a Keynesian fantasy), it would still mean Malory's conclusion is incorrect.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Oh, good. I was hoping we'd have more unhinged reactions to the election.

  • ||

    NEEDS MOAR RACISM

  • Sidd Finch||

    Amputee stabbing case takes bizarre turn with phantom-limb plea retraction

    The stabber has only one leg. The stabber’s lawyer has only one leg. And the guy who was stabbed? No legs.

    A bizarre Manhattan attempted-murder case that could double as an amputees convention — involving two limb-deprived wheelchair-bound combatants and an ice pick in a Wards Island homeless shelter — took an even weirder turn at sentencing yesterday when the stabber’s one-legged lawyer asked to withdraw his client’s guilty plea.

  • ||

    They're the original odd couple!

  • ||

    Now they're the even couple.

  • Paul.||

    My favorite Phantom Limb moment:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-QlMdZBEf0

    Fun fact, my mother was unwittingly like Phantom Limb.

  • Slumbrew||

    Jesus, I need the new season, post haste.

  • Coeus||

    Jesus, I need the new season, post haste.

    They've already put out two episodes.

  • Slumbrew||

    The hell? I got the halloween ep, what did I miss? /me furiously googles...

  • Slumbrew||

    Unless you know something I don't, they haven't - they're calling the halloween one a special, apparently, with S05 to start airing in January.

    http://mantiseye.com/news/2012.....on_himself

  • Coeus||

    I read an interview where doc said that both the halloween and shallow gravy episodes were part of the 5th season.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    http://www.perthnow.com.au/lif.....6512853271

    "I'm moving to Australia, because their president is a Christian and actually supports what he says,'' she tweeted.

  • Paul.||

    I was thinking of moving to Greece, but it appears Greece moved here.

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    New Zealand came up recently. Not a terrible choice, though I haven't done any research.

  • Paul.||

    Too many hobbits.

  • Cytotoxic||

    Probably has bad gun laws. Has prohibitions on spanking. I think.

  • Entropy Void||

    But, but SHEEP!

    LOTSO SHEEP!

  • Coeus||

    You don't have to be smart with tits like that.

  • ||

    How strange that she'd believe such things after more than likely being educated in an American public school.

  • np||

    Xia Da
    skip the text up top and look at the pics. Try guessing her age

  • ||

    I thought 11. Fuckin' A.

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    Asians seem to have this penchant for keeping their females too young with chemicals. Beijing Olympics and now this?

  • Bingo||

    See now this is the question:

    Who's the perv, the guy that wants to smash this chick or the guy that gets with that stacked 14-yr old a few posts up?

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Stacked? Stacked?

    But seriously, this Japanese girl is so cute I want to eat her right up.

  • Coeus||

    Stacked? Stacked?

    I know many women in their 20's who would kill for those curves.

    But seriously, this Japanese girl is so cute I want to eat her right up.

    Phrasing.

    Also, as a bonus, I just learned that I'm less creepy than nicole.

  • Bingo||

    There was only 1 girl in my 8th grade class that could possibly compare, and she didn't wear short dresses, pushup bras, and high-heels.

    Hope she enjoys the attention while it lasts. If her mom is any indication, she'll be trending toward the body-type favored by John in a few short years.

  • np||

    The Australian gov thinks along those lines:

    2005 ruling which specified that even depictions of women who are over 18 but "appear to be" underage may be judged "illegal."

    gotta be extra careful in Oz
    http://www.sexparty.org.au/Med.....board.html

    http://www.sexparty.org.au/Fea.....iddle.html

  • Coeus||

    They have effectively outlawed a-cup porn. I guess the freedom for old women to feel more desirable is more important than a flat chick's career options. Ahh, feminism. Is there no hypocrisy it won't stoop to?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Who's the perv, the guy that wants to smash this chick or the guy that gets with that stacked 14-yr old a few posts up?

    Why is it mutually exclusive?

  • SIV||

    "As a former coach of womens gymnastics, I can tell from the picture she's a young teen long past her sell by date."

  • OldMexican||

    Net Censorship Expert Faces Child Porn Charges

    C'mon, he is perfect for the job - nothing trumps experience.

  • SIV||

    possession or sale of a switchblade, a one-year misdemeanor

    WTF?

    Michigan sucks.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Ashley Judd considering a run for Senate in Kentucky.

    Watching her faggy eurotrash husband on the campaign trail should be amusing.

  • Jerry on the road||

    CIA director that conveniently exits the stage -after- the election. How many people in Washington were in the know of this affair and kept their mouth shut? Petraeus opening himself up to blackmail is a huge national security disaster.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    WHAT IS ON THE JEZEBEL FRONT PAGE:

    Emoticons and Honey Boo-Boo. Planned Parenthood massively outspending pro-life groups. Petraeus sleeping with his biographer. A story about Adele being fat and having better sex than me (?). Claire McCaskill's daughters. An expose on tweets from racist teenagers. Steel Magnolias makes Cory Booker cry. South Korean activists airdropping condoms into N Korea. Something about Pat Robertson and evolution.

    WHAT IS MISSING FROM THE JEZEBEL FRONT PAGE:

    Any articles on women's freedoms in the Middle East and Africa. Articles on how women can practically avoid getting raped and/or sexually assaulted. Stories on how women can overcome obstacles in the workforce and advance their careers. Advice on what women can do to, keep and maintain a healthy relationship with a person of the opposite sex.

    I am sure that's just an oversight.

  • Paul.||

    South Korean activists airdropping condoms into N Korea. Something about Pat Robertson and evolution.

    Of everything on the list, this is the strangest.

    Do we really think that the pathway to North Korean freedom from the crushing Tyranny that is the Hermit Kingdom is... free condoms?

    Wouldn't it be like something more dramatic. Like a coded leaflet to an underground liberation group that could spirit dying North Koreans out of their country to the freedoms of the South? Or am I being melodramatic?

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    It's the most useless and bizarre of the efforts from the South to free N Korean citizens and liberalize the North.

    You can see why feminists would be all over that like flies on shit.

  • Paul.||

    Without reading the article and making massive assumptions about the point (I admit), it's a pretty sad commentary that the West(tm) is slowly coming to believe that the best fight against a crushing dictatorship is access to abortions and free birth control.

    Even if you agreed that those things are important wedge issues in Western Democracy, to believe that a country literally being starved by its deeply paranoid, communist dictatorship which runs its country like a giant Gulag is just sad.

  • MJGreen||

    I mean... if I were a peon in a totalitarian society, I think I'd like the ability to fuck without worrying about bringing another person into this hellhole. Free love is probably one of the few respites.

    I'm sure that's not the thinking behind these editors and readers, but it's not a complete waste.

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    Maybe the best way for North Koreans to escape is to never be born?? That's depressing.

  • hotsy totsy||

    What's missing from the Jezebel front page used to be standard for Cosmopolitan when Helen Gurley Brown was editor.

    When HGB retired Cosmo turned into a magazine for hos. Jezebel is just weird.

  • Walter||

    I hereby pledge that if Obama during this term (i) fires Geithner and Holder, and Clinton if she isn't actually gone; (ii) let's Holder and Clinton (and maybe Petraeus) take the blame for Fast & Furious and Benghazi (even if he ultimately pardons them); and (iii) gets weed off Schedule I; then I will vote for Joe Biden in 2016.

  • Pro Libertate||

    That's nowhere near enough.

  • Cytotoxic||

    Nothing is.

  • SIV||

    It's gotta be free weed. Paid for by a tax on abortions and birth control

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    It's been proposed on this blog before that Biden be made VP for life because he's just so fun to mock. I for one never want him to disappear from the public eye.

    So, I hope that whoever wins in 2016 picks Biden as the running mate.

  • tagtann||

    Sometimes you jsut have to roll with it dude.
    www.Geek-Anon.tk

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