No Freebies for Voters, Bankruptcy May Defuse the Pension Crisis, Greeks Strike Again: P.M. Links

  • Were you planning to vote just so you could get that free cup of coffee that's being handed out to do-ers of civic good deeds? Fugeddaboudit. Giving goodies to voters is illegal. Really.
  • A British poll says Obama will win the popular vote by a margin of two percent and take most of the battleground states. No, I don't know why the limeys are running surveys for an American election, either.  But Europeans do seem a little emotionally invested in the outcome.
  • The last, great hope for reining-in California pension disaster may be urban bankruptcies. That because, in receivership, judges call the shots, and are (comparatively) insulated from political pressures.
  • Confiscating every penny from every millionaire in the United States would keep the federal government going ... for three months.
  • Greek transportation and media workers are striking again. In further news, nobody noticed.
  • A new study finds that teens living at home with lesbian parents do better in school. Huh.
  • Check your PayPal account. Anonymous says they swiped a bunch of passwords.

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Confiscating every penny from every millionaire in the United States would keep the federal government going ... for three months.

    WHAT'S YOUR POINT? It would be fair.

  • nicole||

    It's not like they'll stop being evil millionaires even after we take all their money. We just have to wait for them to re-seed. Three months should be plenty.

  • $park¥||

    Re-seed or recede?

  • nicole||

    If they recede, that would be...a recession! No, that's not what we're looking for.

  • db||

    It's like fisheries or maybe that green shit that grows in the C&C games that you use for money. Just make sure you don't send your harvester into the same field to often, it'll all grow back.

  • $park¥||

    Ah, Tiberium. Is there anything it can't do?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    It can't leave soldiers unmutuated.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    IT'S CALLED TIBERIUM, YOU PHILISTINE!

  • db||

    Dude, it's been a while; I forgot.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    When I get my ion cannon you're first.

  • ||

    THIS IS WHAT PROGRESSIVES ACTUALLY BELIEVE

  • MJGreen||

    After the debt ceiling 'crisis' last year, I saw a comment that, if we just had a president with the balls, he could pay the debt by taking money straight from the bank accounts of the rich (I think it may have even been bolder, saying that the rich have 5x that much money or something). When I explained that the M2 of the entire country was several trillion dollars lower than the federal debt, the goal posts moved to the wealth of the US at large, presumably owned primarily by the rich.

    So, essentially, the government should nationalize a third of the country's assets.

  • Sudden||

    When I explained that the M2 of the entire country was several trillion dollars lower than the federal debt, the goal posts moved to the wealth of the US at large, presumably owned primarily by the rich.

    The LULZ come from the fact that they think that simply annexing some rich guy's mansion/stock portfolio/etc will be the panacea. What they don't seem to realize is all those assets that are worth $XX,000,000 become worth nothing when you annex all of the MONEY that could actually purchase said mansion, stock portfolio, etc. You simply cannot give the mansion away in piecemeal as a SS benefit or use it to pay a medicare provider payment.

    The stupid runs deep on the left.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    They probably think it would all work like what Richard Gere's character did on Pretty Woman--buying companies and selling them off in pieces to make a profit.

    The irony, of course, is that this behavior is frowned upon when done by a capitalist, but encouraged and cheered when the government does it.

  • PapayaSF||

    You simply move the poor and homeless into the mansions, just like in Doctor Zhivago. That worked out, right?

  • Mickey Rat||

    It never deeply registers that wealth does not equal cash.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    So, essentially, the government should nationalize a third of the country's assets.

    It worked for Sulla!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    A British poll says Obama will win the popular vote by a margin of two percent and take most of the battleground states.

    The Red Coats have their finger on the pulse of this nation.

  • Pro Libertate||

    They'll all be happier with President Romney. Because then they'll have someone real to blame all of their troubles on.

  • PapayaSF||

    That's how I'll console my leftist friends. It's the end of four years of tortured excuse-making! Back to good, clean, simple hate of the President!

  • ||

    Wait, I'm too busy to RTFA but is this a poll...of limeys?!?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I'm too busy to RTFA, but not too busy to RTF24/7A:

    U.S. President Barack Obama will win the popular vote by two per cent in Tuesday's election while beating Republican opponent Mitt Romney in most of the battleground states, a British YouGov survey of 36,000 American voters forecast.
  • ||

    All the major EUR's and Asian Nations. But administered by the BBC World Service, so...yeah.

  • gaijin||

    Limeys. Here's what I think of limeys ;)

    Oh you English are SO superior aren't you? Well, would you like to know where you'd be without US the good old U.S. of A. to protect you? I'll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that's where! So DON'T call me stupid, lady. Just THANK me! ...If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German, singing, "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!"

  • ||

    "Oh no! K-K-K-Ken is C-C-Coming to K-K-K-Kill me!"

  • Pro Libertate||

    Winners like North Vietnam?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Were you planning to vote just so you could get that free cup of coffee that's being handed out to do-ers of civic good deeds?

    Starbucks is not speech!

  • ||

    Connecticut man arrested for allegedly hoarding gas.

    Fuck the state, that is all.

  • ||

    This was covered the other day.

  • ||

    Since when do weekend links count?

  • ||

    Don't question me!

  • gaijin||

    what?

  • ||

    He didn't hoard that. Those gas cans? They were made by someone else. The roads he drove on were paid for by someone else. We all hoarded that gas.

  • Paul.||

    Golf clap.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Nice!

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    You know when I read:

    Police arrested two men Sunday for their involvement in alleged gas "hoarding" in Connecticut.

    Police say Yunus Latif, 47, of Richmond Hill, Queens filled 30 five-gallon plastic tubs with four gallons of gas...Police also arrested the attendant at the gas station, 41-year-old Muniruzzaman Gomosta, who sold the gas to Latif

    Part of me has to wonder if the arrest really wasn't for "hoarding" but the Obama administration put the muscle on the media with the whole "ix-nay on the terrorism-ey right before my election-ey" angle.

  • PapayaSF||

    Celebrate diversity!

  • $park¥||

    Here's a story about Sandy that has it all.

    Best quote:

    "In a disaster situation, people aren't sure what the norms are," said Jason Nier, a professor of social psychology at Connecticut College. "People may look to what others are doing in determining what their behavior may be."

    Got that? Society breaks down in disaster situations and people can't figure out moral behavior.

  • SIV||

    This is why you should shoot looters. Potential looters then see falling down and bleeding out as "unacceptable behavior".

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Got that? Society breaks down in disaster situations and people can't figure out moral behavior.

    Yeah, remember all the looting and mayhem that happened in the wake of the Japanese tsunami and nuclear disaster? I hear that Tokyo is still overrun with roving rape gangs.

  • nicole||

    Actually this was one of the dopier things I was reading on the Twitter toward the beginning part of the Sandy debacle. "I'm afraid to think what things will be like once night falls and NYC is dark." Um...remember a few years ago, when we had that ginormous blackout of like, a third of the country, including NYC, and...nothing happened? Because I do, having been in NY at the time...

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    True, but fair enough, the blackout of 77 wasn't pleasant.

    One of the differences with the Japanese is, is that disaster preparedness is a part of their national culture. They even have a National Disaster Preparedness Day holiday for crying out loud.

    Unfortunately for us, a traditional American value is optimism, which too many people interpret as "don't think of anything bad ever."

  • nicole||

    Yes, they cited the 77 blackout as evidence now you mention it--but we had a much more recent datapoint without problems.

    But I'm always happy to blame optimism for anything.

  • T||

    I just count unwarranted optimism as a subset of stupidity. Blaming stupidity is kind of a default position for me.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    I hear that Tokyo is still overrun with roving rape gangs.

    They have republicans in Japan?

  • Brutus||

    That's just some bizarre porn troupe. Tentacles are involved.

  • rts||

    No, I don't know why the limeys are running surveys for an American election, either.

    I was living in the UK during the last election, and I could not for the life of me understand the coverage over there: wall to wall US election coverage, and Obama is the mashiach!

    In Canada we pay attention to what's going on with our largest trading partner, certainly, but it neared obsessiveness in England.

  • iggy||

    Given that America had wall to wall coverage of the royal wedding, a union between two figurehead aristocrats, I don't think it's too surprising that the Brits are equally obsessed with Obama.

  • ||

    I was pleasantly surprised at the relatively sensible US election coverage in the National Post. The Globe & Mail's Canadian-expats-in-America thing was a bit annoying but maybe I am just bitter they didn't ask to interview me.

  • ||

    I wonder if it's The Springer Effect, marveling at the endless bushel basket amount of shamelessly trashy people and celebrities the USA seems to produce. So they, of course can ignore their own and feel better about themselves thinking, "Well, at least we're better than those people!"

    Or, UK culture tends to be (like the food) on the bland side and needs some Good 'Ole USA to spice things up since USA entertainment culture is such a popular export.

    I simply chaulk it up to: "Bread and Circuses."

  • Brett L||

    "At least we don't parade the chavs around on TV shows" is pretty weak sauce.

  • Paul.||

    In Canada we pay attention to what's going on with our largest trading partner, certainly, but it neared obsessiveness in England.

    I heard that in Canada the news was all "Wheat board this" and "Quebec that".

  • rts||

    Just hockey and poutine, eh?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Warren Buffett punks uber-wingnut Jack Welch as "Thom McCann shoe salesman".

    http://www.businessinsider.com.....-5-2012-11

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Oh that was a hoot.

  • Marshall Gill||

    Oh, come on, Shriek. If you just try a little harder you can get Buffett and Soros's cocks in your mouth at the same time!

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Why do you hate capitalists?

  • T||

    Says the guy who's slamming Jack Welch? Funny.

  • Marshall Gill||

    Why are billionaires neck deep in government coercion and cronyism the only "capitalists" that you ever seem to be able to recognize? Welch is different from the other two how? Oh, yeah, he said something bad about Obama.

    Are you drunk already?

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    You mean the same "capitalist" who can't do basic math?

    BUFFETT: You know, 2 1/2 percent is— if— that's average, the GDP is it— that actually is sustainable. Debt to GDP will not go up over time in— in all likelihood with that...So you have to get expenditures, in my view, down to about 21 percent of GDP. And you have to get revenues up to 18 1/2 or 19.
  • PapayaSF||

    LOL. So 2%-2.5% deficits forever are "sustainable"?

  • Mike M.||

    Has your boy paid the billion dollars in back taxes he owes the I.R.S. yet?

  • Omni||

    Hey you guys. Been reading the comments section here for awhile now, finally decided to just sign up and jump in. There are some days the hilarity just in the A.M./P.M. links alone gets me through the day (I work nights).

    Allow me to share this. European bookmaker already paying out on Obama bets...

    http://www.wtsp.com/news/natio.....victorious

    Apparently the election is already over and we Americans never knew it.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Been reading the comments section here for awhile now, finally decided to just sign up and jump in.

    I remember the days this wasn't a thing. Look at what the Obama years have done to our free speech!

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Also, welcome Omni. Have a good time. But avoid Warty. And don't mention pizza to Epi. Or Michael Bay. Or Pro Lib. Or any form of entertainment. Actually, maybe just avoid Epi altogether as well.

  • ||

    (stares menacingly at Auric, then Omni)

  • ||

    That's always a safe bet. Via Omni's link, I found Warty's dream girl.

  • Pro Libertate||

    What's her name, Nikki?

  • ||

    She's a darling.

  • Enough About Palin||

    NEVER CLICK ONE OF SUGARFREE'S LINKS!!!

    *the more you know*

  • Auric Demonocles||

    What's the point? They're all broken anyway.

  • Paul.||

    Why would we not mention Pizza to Michael Bay?

  • Pro Libertate||

    That's an excellent question. What kind of pizza does he prefer when he and Episiarch go out for pizza together?

  • ||

    Well usually he just gets...WAIT A SECOND.

  • Pro Libertate||

    BUSTED.

  • Rich||

    Omni, take what Auric says with a grain of salt. For instance, I happen to know Michael Bay is just fine with most mentions of pizza.

  • Rich||

    Damn. *This* late to the pizza party.

    Omni, best avoid Paul altogether.

  • ||

    Actually there really ought to be some kind of FAQ just to avoid newbie bloodshed. Mayonaisse, cunts, deepdish, and so on.

  • Marshall Gill||

    to avoid newbie bloodshed.

    You deserve to be banned for the mere mention of this.

  • ||

    Been reading the comments section here for awhile now, finally decided to just sign up and jump in.

    Get out while you still can. It's not safe here.

  • Rich||

    It is *so* safe! Since H&R has been, um, monitored we've hardly had any incidents.

  • ||

    You agri[CULT]ural city-statists are all the same, resorting to GAMBOL LOCKDOWN when confronted by the facts you don't want to hear.

    Sorry Officer, am I FREE to gambol about the plains and forests?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Don't tell John or Res Americana, Mike M, and the other conservatives here.

    They remain pure as Lancelot in there Romney devotion.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    If you really wanted to jump in, Omni, you would have started a discussion about circumcision during the Civil War.

  • nicole||

    Ahem. Circumcision of fetuses during the Civil War.

  • Enough About Palin||

    There's a surprisingly large amount of downtime during a civil war. Folks gotta do something to keep the mind sharp.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    My stance on that is clear: there should have been mandated abortions for everyone (funded by cigarette taxes, of course), so that there are no circumcisions needed.

  • Big 'Orra||

    But then the fetuses couldn't gay marry...

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Which is exactly the way it should be, since gay marriages would conflict with the right of the attendees to ignore the "No guns in the parking lot" signs.

  • Omni||

    So I finally heard someone give me at least a potential explanation for why all these polls have D+8 or higher samples. The claim was that after 2008 a bunch of Republicans decided to switch to Independents, but in reality still vote Republican. That would explain the suddenly wider D+ gaps as basically an illusion, and also Romney's lead amongst Independents. But I'm thinking that doesn't really fit with either the Gallup or Rasmussen survey of voter ID or the swing states state by state voter registration numbers. Gonna be real interesting tommorow to see which model is vindicated.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    That because, in receivership, judges call the shots, and are (comparatively) insulated from political pressures.

    You have parenthetically saved yourself from merciless mocking, Tuccille.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    That is what happened in the GM receivership.

  • Bobarian||

    Somebody stop pretending to be PB, nobody believes even he is this stupid.

  • Brutus||

    I think we need to take a survey on that.

  • ||

    So I went and saw the Dnezel Washington movie 'Flight' last night and thought it was pretty good.

    But what got my attention was this gem of a trailer. Matt Damon is going to save America from the evils of fracking!

  • NoVAHockey||

    find Courtland Milloy's column about Flight in today's WaPost. the whole thing was ruined for him because Washington kissed a white woman -- but Denzel clearly wasn't that into it. or something.

  • Brett L||

    Its actually Erin Brokavich II.

  • PapayaSF||

    That movie is funded by the United Arab Emirates. No kidding.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Barf!

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    No, I don't know why the limeys are running surveys for an American election, either. But Europeans do seem a little emotionally invested in the outcome.

    Maybe they are still embarrassed by Bush poodle Tony Blair and the Iraq War debacle.

    Try the obvious sometime!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    But Europeans do seem a little emotionally invested in the outcome.

    If their press is anything like ours, and I think we all know it is, the Eurotrash has been told that anyone but Obama is the personification of Hitler. That's right, the very personification of Hitler, if you can imagine it!

  • ||

    "Mitt Romney is more Hitler than Hitler."

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Maybe they're confusing Romney with Rommel. No one likes a backstabber.

  • ||

    Has ROMNIAC ever been to Tunisia?

  • ||

    Romney, you magnificent bastard I read your book!

  • Citizen Nothing||

    You know who else was more Hitler than Hitler?

  • ||

    Michael Bay?

  • $park¥||

    Rob Zombie?

  • T||

    Hitler Prime?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    That great white shark they put Hitler's brain into?

  • Rich||

    Omni?

  • NoVAHockey||

    don't pick on the newbie. fatten him up first.

  • Omni||

    Can't I go one day without being accused of being more Hitler than Hitler? Apparently not.

  • Rich||

    Ah, HA!!

  • Killazontherun||

    Yes, but at least the editor in chief was gorgeous, but then, her qualification for the job was being an ex-Penthouse Pet who got her hooks into the publisher. RIP.

  • The Hammer||

    Uh, what?

  • Killazontherun||

  • kinnath||

    That was a great magazine.

  • New West Republic||

    The Hitlerbot in Nazis at the Center of the Earth (watch it now on Netflix Instant)?

  • Pro Libertate||

    It's quite simple, really.

    1) Romney's name is Willard, like Martin Sheen's character in Apocalypse Now.

    2) Martin Sheen played a wacko presidential candidate who was going to start a nuclear war for the heck of it.

    3) Romney is a wacko presidential candidate who is going to start a nuclear war for the heck of it.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The horror. (That theory is horrible.)

  • Pro Libertate||

    Have you a better reason why a significant number of people plan to vote for an obviously incompetent president?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Have you a better reason why a significant number of people plan to vote for an obviously incompetent president?

    Dude. They've been telling us for years: racism. We just misunderstood which side was supposed to be the racists.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Voting for Obama is pointless, even for lefties, as he'll definitely be a lame duck if he ekes out a win somehow. Which means no significant goodies for his constituents, all while he continues to preside over a shit economy, which may not have enough left in it to overcome the government leech on its neck.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    If only Europe could vote for U.S. president. They could no longer gripe, America being the cause of all of their woes, if they had a say in its leadership.

  • Pro Libertate||

    They can have a vote if they pay for it. Say, $16 trillion?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Per vote?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Don't take checks from anyone but Germany. In fact, don't take any checks.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Oh, I was thinking gold.

  • Pro Libertate||

    No, no, we must be reasonable. Per country, per election.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Wait, each country gets more than 1 vote?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Sure. Shit, if we're raking in many trillions of dollars, we could probably afford all of the socialist bullshit and a massive military.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I'm not sure if I'm on board with this plan if 50 million Frenchmen count more than one American.

  • Pro Libertate||

    What they're paying for is the right for their citizens to vote in the U.S. presidential election.

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    payable in bullion.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Bouillon cubes? I guess, but I think gold would be more practical.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    When the apocalypse comes because Romney cut funding to Sesame Street, which is going to be more valuable to the ravaged survivors? Useless gold, or delicious soup?

  • Pro Libertate||

    A fair point, though I will suggest that he might spare the network if the U.S. sold the election as I have outlined.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    He'd execute Big Bird in public even if he had a bazillion dollars.

  • Pro Libertate||

    He is that evil, isn't he?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I have a PhD in Horribleness.

  • ||

    I thought you had an advanced degree in dick-nology.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I can have multiple degrees.

  • ||

    Not if you're going to really earn them. Everyone knows that a Horribleness PhD is a joke PhD. Now, dick-nology; that's tough.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I'd say it's more hard than tough.

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    "Turgid"

    Must have got his degree in dick-nology from Penn State

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    How would you know, Epi? While Auric worked his tail off reading study after study on just the right way to be dismissive of his friends' personal problems, you probably just coasted until the presentation where you actually had the gall to pretend that you were genuinely trying to insult your ethnic female classmate. Do you really think you earned that 3.2 BA in Asshole American Studies, or are you going to finally admit that being an asshole just wasn't the passion for you that it was for Auric?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Listen, I have better degrees than you guys and make more money by pushing little girls into mud puddles, so my opinion on this matter is clearly better. I bet Epi hasn't even cut the brakes at a tractor pull before.

  • ||

    I admit it, I skated by on my own assholeness and barely worked at all. I'm sure Auric worked a lot harder on it than me. But it's not fair to fault me for being born a natural asshole!

  • Bobarian||

    It's possible to have multiple degees.

  • ||

    Ah, the Three Degrees of Greg Stillson rule. It always applies, doesn't it?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Indeed. If I can connect you to Stillson, no vote for you. That's why I voted for Gary Johnson.

  • ||

    I can connect everyone to Gregg Stillson, because I can connect everyone to Kevin Bacon and through him we get to Stillson.

    So I don't vote for anyone. See how my non-voting works?

  • Pro Libertate||

    It's more irrational than I could've possibly imagined.

  • ||

    No, it's more insane than you could have possibly imagined.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I accept correction.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Just because Bush went on a Blitzkrieg (Shock and Awe) and lined up an "Axis of Evil"?

    Yeah - Euros have not heard that before.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    If only the Luftwaffe could have gone pilotless.

  • T||

    The V-3 was just a drawing board exercise.

  • ||

  • SIV||

    GayJay: Wrong on taxes, wrong on the election outcome.

  • The Hammer||

    Aw, does he not believe in your messiah hard enough?

  • SIV||

    GayJay2012
    VOTE LIKE YOUR LADYPARTS DEPEND ON IT

    Hammer

  • The Hammer||

    Romney 2012!!!
    I've got enough koolaid for everybody!! Anybody? Hello? Hello????

    -SIV

  • ||

    Hasn't he learned anything this election cycle? You're supposed to claim you're going to win to build up excitement around your base and discourage your opposition from voting! Clearly, he needs some polls with L+8 samples to trick the populace.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Don't give Rasmussen another deluded customer.

  • ||

    Just doing my part to boost aggregate demand.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    But the Redskins predict a Romney win.

  • Bobarian||

    Why would Lizzie Warren predict a Romney win?

  • ||

    Okay, this was funny.

  • ||

    Are you accusing RGIII of being an Uncle Tom?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    No, the white people on his team made them lose through their racism.

  • Killazontherun||

    Cam did something he hasn't done all year, look competent on every drive. I'm suspicious.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    It was the racist defenders on the Redskins.

  • rts||

    A Birmingham man has been charged with terrorism offences after officers spent months analysing electronic files.

    He faces three charges of possessing documents or records containing information of a kind likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism.

    What the fuck kind of charge is that? I have a whole basement full of books that probably fall under this.

  • db||

    +Textcrime

  • Rich||

    What the fuck kind of charge is that?

    I don't know; but it's yet another reason to minimize time spent in Britain.

  • The Hammer||

    Oh. I was trying to figure out when they got books or the internet in Alabama.

  • Enough About Palin||

    New York Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo (D) announced that temporary fuel trucks provided by the U.S. Defense Department would be placed at armories across New York City and Long Island to serve emergency vehicles as well as the public. Cuomo said that 8 million gallons of gas had been delivered by tankers and an additional 28 million would move into the city over coming days.
    "Fuel is on the way. Do not panic," he said, adding that the gas not only would be available, but also would be free.
    In Brooklyn, motorists waited up to five hours to get 10 gallons of gas from a temporary station at the Bedford-Union Armory. Pedestrians, who carried two- and five- gallon canisters, waited just as long.

    So let's see if we have this straight: Cuomo decided to offer a (temporarily) scarce resource to anyone who wants it, free of charge, and he's surprised at the overwhelming demand?

    http://online.wsj.com/article/.....TopOpinion

  • ||

    The sheer stupidity of these people is matched only by their mendacity.

  • nicole||

    Just as the sheer mendacity of these people is matched only by their stupidity.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Once again my city is completely tied up by the two great morons.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Also, fuck Bruce Springsteen AND Marshall Tucker.

  • Killazontherun||

    Pretty l'il love song, wrong?

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    "Heard it in a love song."

    Or, in your case, "Once, fice, fee times a maiday!!"

  • Killazontherun||

    How are you suppose to walk on water with that attitude?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    A new study finds that teens living at home with lesbian parents do better in school.

    Considering how the homelife of most lesbian couples is boring and anodyne to the extreme, this doesn't surprise me.

  • SIV||

    I thought lesbian couples had the highest rate of domestic abuse?

  • T||

    That's why the kids do good in school. Stay home and deal with two crazy bitches beating the crap out of each other? Or stay late and study?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    The one girl I know who grew up with lesbian parents had a pretty fucked up homelife. She turned out all right though, ending up with a pretty solid guy who used to be the power forward on my basketball team.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    WAR ON DICKS.

  • ||

    All the Bond girls, ranked from best to worst.

    And for the record we're going by both looks and contribution to the quality of the movie, so none of this Brit Ecklund shit since The Man with the Golden Gun was terrible.

  • SIV||

    NO NO NO

    1 Pussy Galore

    2 Honey Rider

    3 Domino

  • ||

    I gotta tell ya, Eva Green as Vesper is just pure hotness in my view.

  • ||

    God yes.

  • rho||

    That should make Photoshop Disasters. Look at her dislocated ribcage, just look at it.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Elektra King, now and always.

  • Trespassers W||

    Do yourself a favor and look up "The Dreamers".

  • ||

    Aww yes, featuring nude Eva Green and nude Michale Pitt, the poor man's Leo DiCaprio.

  • ||

    I have done so many, many, many times.

  • Brett L||

    I would move 1 to 3 and the other 2 up. But not bad.

  • hotsy totsy||

    Honore Blackman (Pussy Galore) looks like she could have used some botox. NTTAWRT.

    I think it's the NAME that people think is hot.

  • Enough About Palin||

    The best Bond Girl (though really an enemy) was that Russian chick in Golden Eye, Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen).

    http://images.askmen.com/top_1.....ies_10.jpg

  • ||

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    And for the record we're going by both looks and contribution to the quality of the movie

    And Slate proves yet again why it's worthless:

    8. Eve
    Naomie Harris, Skyfall
    She isn’t given much to do, but her scenes are well played.
  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    And now we get the writers' real motivation for their rankings:

    16. Pam Bouvier
    Carey Lowell, Licence To Kill
    Another Bond girl who is supposed to be tough and is instead pathetically dependent on our hero

    "NOT ACKSHUN GRRRRRRL ENOUGH!"

  • Brutus||

    This is bullshit...Maryam D'abo **rocked**, and I don't want to hear a word contrary!

  • sloopyinca||

    Fullerton cop brings in man for DUI. Man turns up dead in cell later that night in apparent suicide. As soon as the cop finds out, he destroys his audio recorder and steals components. He is sentenced to three years of "informal" probation and 60 hours of community service.

  • The Hammer||

    Dunphy?

  • Enough About Palin||

    "Fugeddaboudit. Giving goodies to voters is illegal. Really."

    Apparently not in Houston:

    After multiple complaints from voters, Rockford said she received a call from downtown telling her that it was okay for the NAACP to be within 100 feet of the building.

    "I told her that the NAACP was inside the building, wearing the NAACP clothing and caps and were handing out water and moving people from the lines to the front of the lines. They said, 'they are in the building', let me talk to Dayan. Dayan was told to tell them to turn their clothes inside out. He went to them and instructed them to do that. They told him that they didn’t have to do that and they weren’t going to stop. They didn’t. They moved people to the front of the line for the rest of the evening," she said.

    According to Rockford, authorities did nothing to stop the NAACP from violating state election laws.

    "The NAACP basically ran this poll location and the judges did nothing about it," she reported.

    http://www.examiner.com/articl.....do-nothing

  • sloopyinca||

  • sloopyinca||

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    And now it's time to play "Who Said It Better?"

    Amanda Marcotte:

    Of course, the reason they don’t do that is there is no god, and they’re just making up some dude in the sky giving ladies vagina orders because they correctly realize that if they said, “By the authority vested by me in me, I declare that vagina to no longer be your property,” it would be a little less impressive that the sky asshole with a beard.

    Or Erin Gloria Ryan:

    Now that an increasingly nonwhite population trend has threatened the electoral clout of white people, terrified conservatives have responded to the realization that democracy is not on their side by trying to pass voter ID laws to address the imaginary problem of in-person voter fraud. But, when you cut through all the high minded talk about the CONSTITUTION and the SANCTITY OF WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT, it's painfully obvious that what voter-ID enthusiasts really want is for women of color to shut up and let the white folk run things.

    Mansplain your answer in the comments below, and as always Vagina-Americans' votes will not be counted in this survey.

  • John||

    I don't even know what that first paragraph is supposed to mean. My God Marcotte is an idiot.

    it's painfully obvious that what voter-ID enthusiasts really want is for women of color to shut up and let the white folk run things.

    Why does this rich white women think black women are too stupid to have IDs. I love it when rich, priveldged white women claim to talk for poor people. They are so cute when they do that.

  • ||

    That Jezebel thread was a trip. They were actually arguing that because it takes time, time, dammit! to go to the DMV and get an ID, that was evidence of an overtly racist policy. It was food desert-levels of detachment from reality.

  • nicole||

    You have to give bonus points since they can do this while also continuing to advocate against "price gouging" in the wake of Sandy. It's wayyyy beyond food desert.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I'm surprised the Democrats haven't actually gone the extra step of stating that they should be able to vote for the weaker classes in their place, given centuries of oppression. So no black, woman, etc. would actually vote. Rather, a Democratic official would fill in their ballots in their stead.

  • T||

    I just want to meet all these people who function in modern society without a fucking ID. Unless every single transaction in your life is cash only, I don't see how that works.

  • nicole||

    I know. It's almost like there's some huge secret underground of libertarians living off the grid or something. Only...not.

  • Pro Libertate||

    It makes you wonder. If the statistics are right about millions being sans ID, why is that? It certainly isn't cost, which is very low. Is there a benefit to not having an ID?

  • Robert S||

    Warrants?

  • Brett L||

    I can't fill out a W-4 and am getting paid under the table. Or at least 1099.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    If the statistics are right about millions being sans ID, why is that?

    There former voters that have either died or moved to another state.

    They're all fraudulent votes just waiting to get cast by local dem hacks.

  • Rich||

  • Pro Libertate||

    I hate to say this, but I've got a sneaking suspicion that the lack of IDs is about opportunities to commit fraud. Not for everyone, but it's the only thing I can come up with to explain the numbers.

  • Pro Libertate||

    This assumes, of course, that the statistics indicating IDlessness in the millions are at all accurate.

  • Brett L||

    You can't get a fucking job without photo ID. Are they racist because they think black people don't have jobs?

  • nicole||

    You'd think that, but in fact, you're the one who's racist because you don't understand the kind of jobs black people have. Or something.

  • hotsy totsy||

    You probably also have to pass a driver's license test too.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Mandy is proof that for feminists, proofreading is the enemy. At least the ladies at Jezebel can (mostly) do the spelling and grammar thingee. Yeah, their ledes, content, editorial bias, and really lame pop culture references are stupid, but they're *intentionally* stupid.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Personally, I think Erin captures the essence of me best: don't get me wrong, I do see all women as property, but Erin just captures the Patriarchy's hatred of black women so well.

  • ||

    Let me manslate both these statements for you, Trouser:

    ...

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    *grunts dismissively; scratches balls*

  • nicole||

    My misogyny levels are already dangerously high as the election approaches. Mansplain why you're trying to make it even worse!!

  • T||

    If we convince you to hate other women, you'll do the Patriarchy's work and keep them down for us at the usual female salary discount.

  • nicole||

    Well fuck. Jezebel was right all along!

  • ||

    So if the Patriarchy is outsourcing, does that mean we tuk their jerbs? I can't tell if I'm oppressing or oppressing anymore!

  • nicole||

    You're trying too hard to use your brain. It stops the false consciousness from completely taking over.

  • ||

    Oops, not trying that hard: "oppressed or oppressing." The slow, sweet brainrot has begun. Why, at this rate soon I will probably be thinking that free birth control is the MOST IMPORTANT POLITICAL ISSUE EVER.

  • ||

    Are you girls done talking about Honey Boo Boo yet? Christ, it's just yap yap yap.

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    Does it involve shopping or crying? No? Then the bitches ain't no good at it, anyway.

  • nicole||

    Welcome, Julia.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Well, sweetie, it's just that we have to keep the blacks and women down with a thing we guys like to call capitalism. If you knew as much about history as us fellas, you'd know just how great non-capitalist systems are for minorities and women, as exemplified by non-capitalist countries like...

    Well...

    You know what, I'm wasting my talents here.

  • BigT||

    Outsource keeping the wymens and blacks down to ... the wymens and blacks!! Brilliant!! So that's the secret behind libertarianism.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Dammit! I really gave away the game, didn't I? At least I left out the part about using Mexican anchor babies as literal anchors for our yachts.

  • Enough About Palin||

    "You know what, I'm wasting my talents here."

    I suggest taking them to South Beach.

  • nicole||

    Sorry, Trouser, but now that I RTFA, I have to say fuck you for not including this line in your game:
    the elected officials who would actually represent their interests are losing to guys who think rape is just a penis-kiss from God

    A PENIS-KISS FROM GOD, PEOPLE. That is all.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    That quote is a true treasure, isn't it? What Amanduh lacks for brains she makes up for with vivid imagery.

  • ||

    It's very poetic.

  • Enough About Palin||

    No it's not. God kissing Penises? I doubt that.

  • Enough About Palin||

    I'd say she's projecting...

  • ||

    You just don't appreciate art.

  • nicole||

    You think that's art? This, this is art:

    I guess I just think the lack of ID thing is weird because I use my ID a few times a month, and not just for travel. I use it at retail stores, I had to give my license number to my bank the other day to verify something with my account, I had to show it at the pharmacy last month to pick up an Rx. I know this is all just examples of white or middle class privilege showing, and I agree that these laws are truly terrible.
  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Hilariously, a comment in reply to hers says that a reasonable solution would be to issue an ID free of charge to people who can't afford them.

    You know, like every single voter ID law already has a provision in place for.

  • nicole||

    I'm in this awesome vortex of reading about how only rich people have IDs, because I just don't understand how much $10 really is or how poor people don't have to have ID to even get a job because they have a completely different lifestyle involving working under the table and buying cigarettes and booze from people they have known their whole lives and thus don't require ID (although not their whole-whole lives, because they can't get ID because their birth certificates are too far away in the places they were born).

    Oh, and the part of the Center for American Progress report where they get all bitchy about how some states will let you use your gun permit as ID? That was even better.

  • nicole||

    Oh also, in case you weren't sure? Everything else you need an ID for is a privilege. Voting is The Only Right.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Stop it, nicole. You're making too much sense. It flusters and confuses me when women aren't hysterical, pregnant, servile, crying, or being penis-kissed by God.

  • ||

    (reads a few times)

    Since I don't understand it at all, it must be genius. I've watched Aqua Teen episodes that were more coherent than this.

  • nicole||

    I've watched Aqua Teen episodes

    WHITE AND MIDDLE CLASS PRIVILEGE

    If you knew any poor people, you would know that they have a completely different system of entertainment from you and don't "watch" "episodes" of anything.

  • nicole||

    Why should everyone have an ID? If you live in a city and don't drive why do you need a government issued identification that you have to pay for and waste your time for? My brother is a 19 year old college student, my parents drove him everywhere and then he went to college far away so he never got his license.

    As far as I'm concerned, I'm fine with douchebags like this not voting.

  • The Hammer||

    How do you get into college without an ID?

  • hotsy totsy||

    Don't colleges issue IDs?

  • nicole||

    I don't remember needing ID to get into college, although I did need ID to take the SATs, and I think that was "real ID" that was required--I remember using my passport before I had my license.

    And colleges do issue IDs, but one of the complaints is that for a lot of young people their school ID is their only ID, and school ID isn't valid for most of these voter ID laws because it's not government-issued.

    Now, I don't know anyone who had their school ID as their only ID after age 16, because where I grew up people learn how to fucking drive. But here in the city, my boyfriend can't drive, and because he still wants to do things like buy cigarettes, use credit cards, go to bars, etc., he has a state ID. And a FOID. WHITE MALE MIDDLE CLASS PRIVILEGE.

  • ||

    Meatwad: Yeah, Frylock, please. Make us a TV. I mean look at me. How else am I gonna face the day? I ain't got no job, my wife left me, bills pilin' up, I got child support payments, and I have no idea if what I said's true. But I believe it.

    Master Shake: He is right.

    Meatwad: We needs to dull our senses.

  • nicole||

    Also, did you know that under a President Romney, there will be no more dating?

  • ||

    Serious question, nicole: who's stupider, the people who write this shit or the people that believe it? I'd say "read it" but I don't want to insult you and then have to mansplain to you why it wasn't really an insult.

  • nicole||

    It's got to be the people that believe it. I mean, we have evidence that the people who write it have at least some small ability to spell words, if not write coherent sentences.

    But also, the people who read it. Who the hell is getting revved up from this shit? People who give themselves ulcers because Mitt will make you have babies all day long. Or something. Obviously, I'm feeling pessimistic now because I just spent way too long in that hellhole.

  • Big 'Orra||

    Also, did you know that under a President Romney, there will be no more dating?

    I never liked feminists, now I want to NUKE their asses!

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Didn't you ever watch the Hunger Games, Epi? Poor people out in the Districts don't have time for Aqua Teen Hunger Force! They can't afford sarcasm where they come from!

  • ||

    They both have "hunger" in the title, I don't see what the big difference is.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    One has shaky-cam.

  • Calidissident||

    Yeah, I don't understand how it isn't racist that white liberals think minorities are incapable of acquiring identification

  • BigT||

    Hooters International Swimsuit Contest.

    http://www.wtsp.com/news/photo.....yid=253447

    An hour passes....

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Once again my city is completely tied up by the two great morons.

    At least it's still there.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Hey, ho, where'd ya go, Ohio?

  • Omni||

    Mecha Hitler?

  • Omni||

    That response was supposed to be way up there...this is some kind of bizarre initiation ritual, isn't it?

  • Paul.||

    And you've already failed. Congratulations, you're now a full member.

  • Rich||

    But the fun really begins when you become a throbbing member!

  • Citizen Nothing||

    The squirrels like newbie blood.

  • T||

    The squirrels like newbie fresh blood.

    Subtle, but important, distinction.

  • ||

    Yup. Monocle's in the mail. And apparently you get a cane, now. Wish I'd known that.

  • Omni||

    "Yup. Monocle's in the mail. And apparently you get a cane, now."

    Which one is made up of the ground up bones of orphan children again?

  • Ska||

    It's called a walking stick. Canes are for feeble weaklings.

  • Paul.||

    Caller on local NPR show who was "dependent on government support" believes that if Romney is elected, she'll be homeless or dead.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Why can't it be both?

  • Omni||

    Of course. Mace Windu told her on TV that Romney was going to cut the social safety net. What more proof does one need?

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    He is a bad ass mofo.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Shut your mouth!

  • ||

    I'm reminded of an essay by Bryan Caplan...

  • db||

    Oh, and here's a thoroughly depressing article on the state of job availability in chemistry and pharmaceutical industry, at least for chemists.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Hey, you're chemists! Suck it up and cook some meth!

  • db||

    I am a chemical engineer, thank you very much.

  • SIV||

    Cook up meth more cost efficiently!

  • SIV||

    What ia all this "bio-tech" and teaching stuff? Why aren't they putting on Tyvek suits and going out on catwalks at a refinery or plant?

  • Brett L||

    Meh. I'll make dextro, get it real pure, mix it with meth and sell it for 4x the price as Adderall. Better class of client.

  • The Hammer||

    What's your pager number?

  • The Late P Brooks||

    if Romney is elected, she'll be homeless or dead.

    That's silly for two reasons.

    1) Romney is a man.

    2) He'll get to live in the White House if he's elected.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    He'll also have a lot of security trying to make sure he doesn't get dead.

  • Rich||

    election law experts say the discounts and giveaways are plainly illegal — no matter how innocent or nonpartisan the intentions.

    You know, one of these illegal giveaways is ...
    the "I Voted" sticker itself.

  • BigT||

    How much would a pay-per-view of Candy Crowley's disembowelment fetch?

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-J.....Covered-Up

  • ||

    Craigslist in New York and New Jersey sees increase in ads offering sex for gas.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Wow, they're really quick to go all Road Warrior, aren't they?

  • T||

    I knew he had moved, but I didn't realize our own Lord Humungus had moved into the neighborrhood.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Consideration takes many forms.

  • Rich||

    And "cuddles" for "oil changes", no doubt.

  • ||

    (insert joke about Jiffy Lube offering happy endings now)

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Years ago I had an idea about a combo mechanic/brothel. Tagline: "You get serviced while your car gets serviced".

  • Pro Libertate||

    And people say libertarians have nothing to offer.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    "Why should your car be the only thing that gets jacked?"

  • Pro Libertate||

    Jizzy Lube.

  • ||

    Certainly puts a different spin on "lube and oil", "checking fluids", and "rotating tires".

  • Pro Libertate||

    In your new practice, you should have nurses that also perform certain services for people waiting in your waiting room.

  • ||

    Way ahead of you, Pro'L Dib. -))) I did ship a karaoke machine along with my professional effects.

    Also shhi, pirogy and vodka will be served in the waiting room.

  • Pro Libertate||

    You're going to be hugely popular over there. Might I also suggest taping everything for later publication? Hot Ukrainian Nurses at Work III.

  • ||

    What a puny plan.

  • ||

    Well, technically they are dudes offering gas for sex. No word on whether they found any takers, but the guy who helpfully reminds prospective trading partners to bring their own mouthwash sounds too charming to possibly be unsuccessful.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Same thing--civilization collapses as New York and New Jersey move to a sex-based currency.

  • ||

    Or maybe a mouthwash-based currency! It's a brave new world, sky's the limit, ProL.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Perhaps cars could be powered by mouthwash?

  • ||

    That's the ticket! Cut out the middle man! Or would that require blowjob-powered cars?

  • ||

    Tell us more...

  • Pro Libertate||

    Sure. I see it all so clearly now. Google is moving us to totally automated cars, piloted by blow-up robots (like in Airplane). Someone has to blow up the robots. Who better than prostitutes?

  • ||

    We shall add blowjobs as successful currency to the Rules of Acquisition.

  • ||

    New York Attorney General: "We are actively investigating hundreds of complaints we've received from consumers of businesses preying on victims of Hurricane Sandy," Schneiderman said. "Our office has zero tolerance for price gouging."

    What a surprise, an elected official is not concerned with basic economic principles but rather punishing business owners for trying to keep up with a drastic spike in demand in the most sensible way possible.

  • Sevo||

    New York Attorney General: "We are actively investigating hundreds of complaints we've received from consumers of businesses preying on victims of Hurricane Sandy,"
    Right. By selling them stuff they want.

  • tagtann||

    That makes a lot of sesne dude. Wow.

    www.anon-you.tk

  • PoopSoup||

    Old Proverb:

    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

    Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.

    2012 Updated Revision:

    Give a man a welfare check, a free cell phone with unlimited free minutes, free internet, cash for his clunker, food stamps, section 8 housing, free contraceptives, Medicaid, ninety-nine weeks of unemployment, free medicine, and he will vote Democratic the rest of his life…even after he's dead.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    What is this Nate Silver shit all about?

  • ||

    Something about sports gambling or measuring the length of a sabre, I think. Dunno.

  • Omni||

    He's the guy who has a "model" of the election that Obama supporters have been beating me over the head with. Apparently, according to them, he's "almost always accurate", and has figured in and adjusted for the fact that polls have a skewed D+8 and higher samples (cause he said he did). Romney's odds of winning according to Silver? Around 16%

  • ||

    Last week's viral video of poor little Abigael crying about the election caused me to reflect on what good parents my husband and I are. This model parenting all started about six months ago, when our then 3-year-old saw us watching Mitt Romney on "grown-up TV" (the news) and asked: Who is that? Without even consulting a single parenting book, my husband confidently answered:

    Mitt Romney. He's a bad man.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Remember the time you waved goodbye to your child the first time he got sent to the re-education camp? Good times.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Ye gods.

  • ||

    What, that's not what you do in your house, ProL? I could have sworn when I was watching you through binoculars at your house one time that your lips were saying to your kids "VOTE ROBAMA".

  • Pro Libertate||

    You need to work on that, because what I said was "Vote Roseanne Barr." (For those that don't know, she's on the Florida ballot.)

  • ||

    Yeah, I know, the hidden microphones I ordered should be here Thursday and we can take care of this little audio problem once and for all. You're still going to the fair on Saturday, right? The whole family?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Why would you lie to him like that?

  • Pro Libertate||

    She really is on the ballot. With Cindy Sheehan as her VP.

  • ||

    Doesn't she live in Hawaii? And, follow-up questions: are people making enough carpetbagger/carpetmuncher jokes?

  • Killazontherun||

    Bill the Cat is playing second fiddle this time?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    You should have taken a lip reading class while you were studying for your BA in Asshole American Studies. He was clearly saying "Vote Robots"

  • Pro Libertate||

    One does not vote for robots. One merely submits.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Exit polls show evil underdog Richard Nixon trailing with an estimated zero votes. The time is 7:59 and the robot polls are now opening ... and the robot vote is in. Nixon has won!

  • ||

    This is entirely plausible considering ProL is actually Daneel Olivaw.

  • Pro Libertate||

    That's R. Daneel Olivaw, you organicist.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    What's the R. stand for? "Reallymeantohiskids"?

  • rho||

    By Allison Benedikt

    I bet she did. I bet she did.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I have no idea how my parents have voted in any election ever.

  • Virginian||

    My mom votes Democrat, my dad used to vote Republican, but he's a worthless piece of shit now instead of the hard working guy he used to be, so now he votes Democrat too.

  • oncogenesis||

    Headline: "How Do You Talk to Your Kids About the Election?"

    Content: "So, how do you talk to your kids about the election? Email us at ..."

    *barf*

  • Bee Tagger||

    It's Against the Law To Give Free Stuff to Voters

    This gives me something new to add to my list of things I want to do if I'm ever super rich: Offer free stuff to people for not voting.

  • Mike M.||

    Unhappy third anniversary of the Fort Hood massacre to the victims, and all their friends and families who won't be permitted to see justice on behalf of their loved ones, because of the vile Block Yomomma and all the evil, bureaucratic goldbricking scumbags who do his bidding in our unhinged government.

  • Julio Cesar Samper Uribe||

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wi.....perity.jpg

    This one presents itself with countless opportunities for captioning, alt-text labeling or Photoshopping.

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