Texas Game Warden Investigates Man Who Ate Dead Bird He Found in His Yard

Texas food blogger Ryan Adams thought the universe had dropped a present in his lap when a rare white-winged dove smacked into his living room window, breaking its neck. Dove hunting season had started the day before, so Adams decided to clean, dress, and grill his find, as well as document the experience at his very good food blog, Nose to Tail at Home.

But shortly after Adams posted his tale and accompanying pictures online, a game warden from the Texas Parks and Wildlife came knocking on his door:

“It is illegal to possess any wildlife resource that has not been taken legally,” [Texas Parks and Wildlife spokesman Steven Lightfoot] Lightfoot explained [to local TV station CBS 11]. “By legal I mean there are certain means and methods… you have to have a hunting license and you have to have the appropriate weapon and ammunition.”

Lightfoot says Adams would have had the right to eat the bird if he had legally hunted it and since those weren’t the circumstances he should have turned it over to a game warden.

The state agency is now investigating Adams.  While the evidence in the case has been eaten, Adams made the ‘mistake’ of posting step-by-step pictures of his “epicurean dove cook-out” on his blog.

On October 12, CBS 11 reported that the agency had decided not to fine Adams for eating the dead bird he found in his yard.

I wonder if that was a tough call for the bureacrats at Texas Parks and Wildlife?

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  • Brandybuck||

    He didn't get gummit's permission to eat the bird. Does his shame know no bounds?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "I wonder if that was a tough call for the bureacrats at Texas Parks and Wildlife?"

    Yes. Any other questions?

  • ||

    “It is illegal to possess any wildlife resource that has not been taken legally,”

    It wasn't "taken". It was "found". Fuck you, TPW.

    CB

  • tarran||

    Methinks the Texas game warden has lots of time on his hands. Maybe he should be tasked with personally inventorying all the paperclips owned by the town.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    And now that hunting season is in full swing, you'd fucking think that he game warden would have more pressing shit to do. You know, like go after trespassers or poachers or something.

  • Copernicus||

    “It is illegal to possess any wildlife resource that has not been taken legally,”

    This isn't even a difficult argument. As John Cleese used to say in the Dead Parrot Sketch... "This is an ex-parrot".

    Or, it can best be explained in this Q and A:

    When is a white-winged dove not a white-winged dove?
    When it is dead in your yard.

    "Just like a white-winged dove
    sings a song sounds like she's singin'
    oooh baby oooh baby oooh"

  • sarcasmic||

    I posted this as a ML Daily Fail last week!

  • ||

    And you didn't even get the courtesy of a reacharound hat tip.

  • sarcasmic||

    Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
    Think I'll go eat worms
    Big ones, small ones, skinny ones, fat ones
    Think I'll go eat worms

  • Enough About Palin||

    And by worms you mean johnsons, right?

  • sarcasmic||

    Just because I'd like to erect Gary's Johnson doesn't make me a homo!

  • ||

    Hey dude I'm not gay - he sucked my dick!

  • sarcasmic||

    Here's something you never hear a guy say: "Stop sucking my dick, or I'll call the police!"
    -George Carlin
  • The Hammer||

    Think I'll go eat worms

    Not without permission from Texas Parks and Wildlife, you won't!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...Adams made the ‘mistake’ of posting step-by-step pictures of his “epicurean dove cook-out” on his blog.

    Then why aren't the Feds involved? Come on!

  • mr simple||

    That's true, posting to his blog is interstate commerce.

  • ||

    Where's his damned federal waterfowl hunting permit, huh?

  • SKR||

    Last time I checked, doves weren't waterfowl.

  • ||

    THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

  • db||

    They are until you spend $50,000 fighting it in court. Unless you can't afford to resist the unethical prosecution.

  • Bobarian||

    Are they migratory?

  • Generic Stranger||

    Yes, though usually you just need a Migratory Game Bird permit to hunt them rather than a federal Waterfowl stamp.

  • SKR||

    You're thinking of African Swallows.

  • ||

    Doves are not migratory birds, hence they are under state jurisdiction.

    In Florida, no hunting licence is required for game taken by the owner (and family) on his own homestead although seasons still apply.

  • Generic Stranger||

    Actually, they are migratory, and are covered under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act.

  • DemosTheKnees||

    The agency decided not to fine Adams for eating the dead bird.

    Oh...

    Never mind.

  • Matrix||

    How noble and compassionate of our overlords not to fine this pitiful slave. He should be grateful for their benevolence.

  • Hugh Akston||

    That bird? You didn't kill that.

  • Paul.||

    If the world is just, this will be the threadwinner.

  • sarcasmic||

    The world is not just, thus my George Carlin quote is the threadwinner.

  • ||

    This thread, you didn't win it.

  • Jilly||

    bravo

  • rac3rx||

    No, looks like his window did.

  • Mike Riggs||

    +1

  • Paul.||

    By legal I mean there are certain means and methods… you have to have a hunting license and you have to have the appropriate weapon and ammunition.”

    Hey wait a minute. The government is demanding people arm themselves and have proper ammunition.

    I'm thinking this whole debacle may be a blessing in disguise.

  • Matrix||

    Well, it is Texas.

  • Delroy||

    A home is not an appropriate weapon.

  • Matrix||

    The Wicked Witch of the West's sister agrees.

  • SKR||

    Yeah but that wasn't Texas.

  • Paul.||

    On October 12, CBS 11 reported that the agency had decided not to fine Adams for eating the dead bird he found in his yard.

    Even though they could have! Unelected bureaucrats FTW! The right people are in charge... for now...

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    A man named Lightfoot cares what the state has to say about individuals using resources they obtain on there own? Interesting.

  • sarcasmic||

    Like most enforcers, he probably cares more about authoritah than about the specifics of the rules. Power is an end, not a means.

  • SugarFree||

    That bird could have been used as low-wage labor in a casino.

  • mr simple||

    If you could read his mind...

  • Delroy||

    Couldn't work in the Edmund Fitzgerald, huh?

  • Drake||

    Reminds me of this story - if you don't have the express written consent of the government and all it's agencies, you shouldn't assume any kind of activity is legal.

    http://brewerylaw.com/2011/03/.....l-it-over/

  • sarcasmic||

    That which is not explicitly allowed is banned.

  • Hugh Akston||

    EVERYTHING NOT MANDATORY IS FORBIDDEN

  • Paul.||

    We prefer the German, Verboten.

  • db||

    Was nicht verpflichtend ist, verboten ist.

  • mr simple||

    now the EPA has issued a opinion that the use of rainwater is not permissible for producing beer.

    How the fuck did the EPA get involved in what is ok for me to put in my body? I would think the FDA would be upset about getting its toes stepped on.

  • John||

    You have complete control of your body and what you put into it provided all you want to do is have gay sex or get an abortion.

  • SKR||

    Only desalinated water is acceptable.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    This peasant should be pleased his lord spared him. It is unlawful to take any wild beast in the lord's forest without his leave. He could have hanged this ignorant fool as a poacher, or fined him, or seized one of his daughters for his lordly pleasure.

  • Raston Bot||

    yeah, he's lucky they didn't geld him.

  • John||

    Threadjack

    http://www.michigancapitolconfidential.com/17686

    In sum: The president of the United States, Michigan’s former governor, the state’s two U.S. senators and the U.S. Secretary of Energy promised thousands of jobs from a company that in a mere two years went bankrupt. Despite a bankruptcy or buyout predicted by outside observers, the company continued to reward its top executives while laying off most of its workforce.

  • tarran||

    This crap is my brother's bread and butter. They've got a great chance at having the shareholders sue the management for raiding the corporation's assets.

  • John||

    You do have a fiduciary duty as an officer. And they won't even have to sue. The federal bankruptcy trustee should go after them. It is illegal under the bankruptcy code to pay off insiders at the expense of creditors.

  • tarran||

    You're right... I'm conflating two different sorts of litigation. :P

  • John||

    You could do both. The shareholders are creditors too. Regardless someone needs to be suing their asses to get that money back. It doesn't belong to them.

  • John||

    http://www.romneytaxplan.com/

    DNC puts up a fishing site designed to fool people into thinking it is a Romney site. I guess that whole ethics thing is optional.

  • John||

    The prince [Jackson] was erecting the foundations of a power base, diving into countless local races by endorsing candidates, seeding the region with mayors and other local officials who would be loyal supporters. But he could be mercurial, former associates say. Jackson sometimes boasted that he was a reincarnated Greek chariot driver, [political operative Frank] Coconate said. “I really thought he had a problem with reality,” Coconate said. “He’d get in his own little world. He’d come out with outlandish things.” At one of Jackson’s hangouts — a Turkish bath — he’d prance naked, demonstrating martial arts moves, while the others stayed wrapped in towels, said Frank Avila Jr., a former supporter who is a Democratic operative.

    http://washingtonexaminer.com/.....H24zKCX-YJ

  • sarcasmic||

    Is Dunphy vacationing in Spain?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....ead_module

  • John||

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem.....40-20.html

    Dita Von Teese at 40. Wow. But I think the whole Marlyn Manson thing just ruins her. I can't look at her without thinking of that freak. What a shame.

  • db||

    I have a friend at work whose wife (in her 40s) looks just like her. Smokin'.

  • John||

    My wife does not look like her. But goes for the whole retro look like that often. Women look better when they dress like women.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    My wife doesn't look like her either. But I get blowjobs from my wife, so . . .

  • Paul.||

    I can never unsee that.

  • AlmightyJB||

    We're always one LEO layoff from complete anarchy. Must raise taxes to hire more.

  • John||

    They are the thin blue line between civilization and anarchy. Why do you hate civilization JB?

  • Paul.||

    He doesn't hate civilization, he hates the thin blue line.

  • John||

    Sorry. Forgot the sarcasm tag.

  • Paul.||

    I know you were being sarcastic. So was I. It was sarcasm all the way down.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I found a dead game wardon in my back yard. i suppose I have to turn them over to the authoriies now?

  • John||

    Did you take him out of season?

  • tarran||

    No, but he wasn't insured...

  • Bill Foster||

    That's one of the hunters, game warden should be covered by the state at least.

  • SKR||

    Naw, just notify a white winged dove.

  • GILMORE||

    isnt that a Fleetwood Mac song?

  • Tim||

    Texas is the price we pay for civilization.

  • ||

    in teh course of duty, i've had to euthanize a fair # of deer/elk. at least in Mass, the person who hit the thing with their car got first dibs on taking it home. here in WA, we are supposed to leave it for state game officers to pick up. guy who hit it gets nothing. lame. although nothing preventing him from coming back to the scene after we finish the collision investigation and taking it.

    then there was the woman who hugged the wounded deer in the road and wouldn't let go lest i MURDER it and she was going to call all the news channels and show them the video if i dared MURDER that poor deer etc.

    fortunately, verbal judo prevailed, which is why i am not the subject of a hit and run blog entry about the mean cop who pepper sprayed or tased the poor woman who was just hugging the wounded deer in the roadway. oh, the horror. btw, wounded animals, even cute little deer (with a nice rack of antlers) can be both unpredictable and dangerous. i do not recommend running up to a wounded deer, and engaging in a full bear hug around its neck. even if that does prevent the evil LEO from euthanizing it

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    This is why it would be bad for me to be a cop. I would've just watched as a wild wounded animal kicked the woman's ass trying to get away.

  • ||

    it's one of those you are fucked no matter what happens

    1) let the woman console the deer. keeps hugging deer. deer attacks her...

    WHY DIDn'T THE COP IMMEDIATELY PULL HER AWAY FROM THIS DANGEROUS CREATURE

    2) try to pull woman away. woman gets hurt.

    COP IS THUG. ASSAULTS WOMAN TRYING TO CONSOLE HELPLESS WOUNDED ANIMAL

    3) traffic builds up. animal suffering in roadway.

    WHY IS THE COP LETTING THAT ANIMAL SUFFER AND NOT "TAKING CARE" OF THIS DERANGED WOMAN.

    it's a pretty difficult UOF scenario. thank GOD, i was able to use persuasion skills (which is easily the most important skill you have as a cop - verbal communication) to get her to VOLUNTARILY let go of the animal. ANY physical force on her, no matter how justified is going to LOOK thuggish. she's got instant sympathy/victim cred.

    my duty is to the animal, first of all, it's suffering and needs to be put down. it's also to traffic, as this is a busy thoroughfare and we can't have it backed up for 15 minutes while this crazed woman reads the animal his last rites.

    it's the kind of situation that you only read about when it has a bloody or controversial end, but it's the kind of situation we deal with all the time, and in the overwhelming majority of cases handle with little to no physical force and little to no negative impact.

  • Whahappan?||

    Woulda' been funny if it wigged out and gored her. Might have taught her a lesson. (Probably not)

  • ||

    and guaranteed if the thing gored her i would have been sued for not keeping her away from the animal

    you got one officer on scene dealing with traffic, the collision investigation and wacked out passersby like her. multitasking and juggling all that shit at once. but still guaranteed, the lawsuit would claim it was my fault for not protecting her from this dangerous animal (that she ran up to, dropped ot her knees and started hugging)

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    One time when I was in high school, a herd of cows (probably about 80) wandered a couple of miles into my city overnight in the fog. My neighbor called around 6 AM to tell me there were a couple cows grazing in my front yard. There were sheriff's cars and Indiana Highway Patrol cars cruising around, trying to round them up. Seemed like a fun, and the sheriff told my neighbor and I to help out if we wanted. We were to dive the cows to an intersection about half a mile away. So we had a small cattle drive, and drove 4 cows to the intersection. About 30 seconds later, an IHP officer rolled up, got the shotgun out of cruiser, and BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Shot each cow in the head. It was shocking, and sad as hell. But then he called the Rihm's truck, the one with the front loader, and they scooped up the cows, lifted them high into air and in to the hopper. That was cool.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    Also from Texas. STEVE SMITH found

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/si.....59675.html

  • Tim||

    Another vote for Gary Johnson.

  • John||

    in the course of duty i've had to euthanize, two Labradors, a Scotty, one poodle and some kind of Chihuahua looking thing. The person whose house I was raiding got first dibs on making them into a rug or a pair of fur lined gloves but somehow they were never interested. Oh well, their loss. Here in my state now we are supposed to leave them for the state game officers although nothing preventing him from coming back to the scene after we finish the evidence planting, I mean evidence collection at the scene.

    then there was the woman who hugged the wounded collie in the her living room where I shot it and let go lest i MURDER it and she was going to call all the news channels and show them the video if i dared MURDER that poor dog etc..

    fortunately, verbal judo prevailed, which is why i am not the subject of a hit and run blog entry about the mean cop who pepper sprayed or tased the poor woman who was just hugging her wounded dog in her living room. oh, the horror. btw, wounded animals, even cute little collie (with a nice coat of fur that would have made a great stole or cape) can be both unpredictable and dangerous. i do not recommend running up to a barking dog, and engaging in a full bear hug around its neck. even if that does prevent the evil LEO from euthanizing it.

  • Tim||

    Ever shoot a possum? Them little bastards is hard to kill. LIke the end of Scarface hard to kill. ..

  • ||

    chucklenuts here, after allegedly spitting at passerby and assaulting a security guard, slaps a philly cop

    and gets taken DOWN

    http://www.policeone.com/Patro.....oes-viral/

    quote of the incident: At the end of the video, a bystander is heard saying: "Let's get a beer. I don't care about this guy."

    yea, pretty much the response you'd expect after the guy spits at people, causes a scene, assaults a security guard and assaults a cop.

    quick and clean takedown. and thanks to citizen (quote unquote) video, we can see what happened.

    video the cops!

  • John||

    HEy Dunphy, as a taxpayer, I pay your dumb ass to deal with people like this. Any baboon can just go kick the shit out of people. But we have a professional police force because we have decided that we just don't kick people's asses because they may deserve it but treat them a bit more humanely.

    The fact that you don't seem to understand it, while not surprising, makes you a fucking disgrace to the uniform.

  • ||

    troll-fu = weak

  • John||

    I am not trolling, I am serious. There is nothing funny or admirable about what they did to that guy. If you just want people's asses kicked, why bother to have a trained police force? You get paid to risk your life so people like that get treated humanely and fairly and don't just get their heads busted. If you don't like that, go find another line of work.

  • ||

    seriously. yawn. wow. talk about petulant

  • ||

    oh, and anybody who makes parody posts such as above is by definition - a troll.

  • John||

    You really don't think you have any duty to the public do you? You are a disgrace Dunphy. A sad disgrace.

  • ||

    not only do i have a duty to the public, but i have been cited for bravery for going well BEYOND my required duty to serve and protect the public on several occasions. i've spent my life serving the public, first as alifeguard in college, then as a cop and firefighter.

    cops have a duty to lay down their life to protect the public. period. full stop. there is no more unpardonable sin for a cop than cowardice.

    i am not sure where you get this stupid idea that i don't think i have a duty to the public, but considering none of your posts make sense, i'm not going to bother trying to figger it out.

    was it because i posted a video where an assaultive guy assaults a cop and gets taken down? that cop had a duty to - to take the guy down and arrest him. and as far as i could tell, he did a damn good job

  • mad libertarian guy||

    there is no more unpardonable sin for a cop than cowardice.

    Is that why we read 2 or 3 stories a week about the shooting of dogs, many of them leashed or otherwise detained? Because cops have such an aversion to cowardice.

    My fucking UPS man is more brave than most cops.

  • sarcasmic||

    But John, he assaulted a cop. He forfeited his right to live. He should be grateful he wasn't killed.

  • ||

    he assaulted a cop (and apparently a security guard and arguably some passersby since he was alleged to have spit on them), and he was taken down and arrested.

    where is the controversy here? decent takedown after an assault

  • sarcasmic||

    People who take pleasure in violence do not impress me. Quite the opposite.

    I've been told in so many words by more than one cop that the sole reason that they sought the job was to "fuck people up".

    That's why cops make me uncomfortable. I never know if something I say or some gesture I make will result in them gleefully practicing their favorite choke hold.

  • sarcasmic||

    Just out of curiosity, what's your favorite choke hold Dunphy?

    I'm sure that you've choked thousands of people unconscious in your valiant career. Probably made an art form out of it. I've been told it's one of the most rewarding aspects of the job. Well, except for the part where they shit their pants.

  • Paul.||

    Abandon thread!

  • GILMORE||

    All threads are in some way about how we fail to appreciate the 'good' side of law enforcement. It is Dunphy's Law.

    Dunphy's Law also guarantees someone will go off on him endlessly, overwhelming whatever the original topic was.

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