Obama Respects the Supreme Court Says Eric Holder, Violence in Syria Continues in Anticipation of April 12 Ceasefire, Rick Santorum Gets Attention for Not Dropping Out: P.M. Links

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  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    Another non-apology apology, except this time from Holder.

  • Soc Indv Sparky||

    Also, FIRST!

  • Pro Libertate||

    Why don't they just get "Moron" tattooed on their heads and be done with it? Jesus, and I thought the last administration was inept!

  • Loki||

    When you get to your little place on Nantucket Island, I 'magine you're gonna take off that handsome-lookin' S.S. uniform clown suit of yours, ain'tcha?... That's what I thought. Now that I can't abide...I mean, if I had my way... you'd wear that goddamn uniform clown suit for the rest of your pecker-suckin' life. But I'm aware that ain't practical, I mean at some point you're gonna hafta take it off. So. I'm 'onna give you a little somethin' you can't take off. [carves the word "Moron" into Holder's head]

  • Pro Libertate||

    A permanent scar or a brand is an acceptable substitute.

  • Trespassers W||

    Where on earth does this "acts of Congress are presumptively constitutional" nonsense come from? Is this, like, a real precedent?

    I'm sure that Congress presumes anything it does is constitutional, but I suspect that's not what is meant.

  • plu1959||

    I think the idea is that Congress gathers and weighs facts to base legislation on, and therefore courts shouldn't second-guess Congress's determination that a law is needed to deal with problem X.

    One of the Volokhians discusses how unrealistic this view of Congress is hier.

  • Trespassers W||

    That link was perfect. Thanks.

  • ||

    It's just a fleshwound, so just say no! Fewer Americans going to the doctor, taking prescription drugs in this here economic climate.

    Anyone who's had college friends who became doctors knows better than to go to a doctor. They're all alcoholic drug addicts who hate themselves, each and every one.

  • General Butt Naked||

    It's funny too, because they stare at you with that dazed, pin-hole eyed look right before prescribing ibuprofen for a broken femur.

  • ||

    Not my fault, I had just gotten a spectacular hummer before they brought you in. Boy, that one was fantastic! If you had be so fortunate, you wouldn't have needed the ibuprofen.

    I can set bones, but I can't reset stupid.

  • Killazontherun||

    So that crack head that hangs out behind the bins comes with a recommendation? Good to know, but he looks a little bristly for chin action.

  • ||

    It's a she! The poor lass has androgen issues. And that's no way to make fun of Warty's mom! She's very genteel in a rough,oozing scab covered sort of way. Lovely singing voice...for someone with a tracheostomy.

    For the love of Lucy, look at what she bore! He's a menace!

  • Killazontherun||

    I once saw it pissing back there. That is the scariest looking clitoris I have ever seen, and I typically like them to be big and identifiable when I'm going down on one. But that thing. I can't get it out of my head, so I paid Warty's mom seven bucks just to let me look at it again. Scary.

  • General Butt Naked||

    C'mon Doc, I mean how hard is yer job anyhoo? Look at my pained expression, get out yer little pad and write "O-P-A-N-A, lots, lots of times a day, mucho milligrams, infinite refills" Konami code them bitches fer me doc. Was that so hard?

    Jeezuz, I can't wait 'til King Obama puts you arrogant fuckers in your place.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Oh, you've seen the plans to enslave doctors after the coup next year?

  • General Butt Naked||

    Whatever. I'll be too high to care.

  • ||

    C'mon Doc, I mean how hard is yer job anyhoo?

    You'd be surprised.

    Quothe the Iron Law:

    The less you know about something, the easier it looks.

    Jeezuz, I can't wait 'til King Obama puts you arrogant fuckers in your place.

    Ukraine, here I come!

  • General Butt Naked||

    That iron law is bullshit.

    You don't know shit about my job at the screen door factory, and you'd probably think it was a pretty easy job. And you'd be right.

    Hell, at least we don't need some sort of American Screen Door Association cartel to keep the number of screen fitters down thereby creating a false scarcity.

    Oh well, it's always good to palaver with you Groov.

  • ||

    Oh well, it's always good to palaver with you Groov.

    Back atcha Nudified Keister! Or shoud I say.....Cap L! Ha!

  • R C Dean||

    Sure, General. But I bet your job is still harder than I think it is.

  • Anacreon||

    Pretty bold to suggest that we docs on this libertarian board might not be immune to the occasional etoh binge or sampling of undocumented substances. But self-hating? Only the following morning, thanks.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Except for GM. He doesn't hate himself.

  • T||

    No, just all of us.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Aren't you running short of air, yet?

  • T||

    No, I've developed a method to harvest oxygen from the rock using the base fusion reactor.

  • Pro Libertate||

    There you go--defy the man!

  • T||

    It's not like there's much else to do up here.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Come on, we gave you high def porn.

  • ||

    Yeah, but if he breaths too fast and shallow, there could be...problems.

  • Pro Libertate||

    In a pure O2 environment? What could possibly go wrong?

  • ||

    No, just all of us.

    Nope, just MNG. I depise that maggot. I hope there is a special place in Hell for him.

  • ||

    But he makes up for it by being twice as drunk, and also by fucking your mom all the time.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about. . .your mother.

  • ||

    Tits.

  • Pro Libertate||

    See, I don't get why Leon got pissed at all, because that's the correct answer.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Obama back-peddles, except not really, on his Supreme Court-scorning.

    So he's selling backs now? That's what we get when we passed Obamacare without reading it, I suppose.

  • Lucy Steigerwald||

    D'oh.

  • Pro Libertate||

    He's a pimp.

  • Pro Libertate||

    That's what Lucy was saying.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    The press briefing was brutal today. Apparently Carney got told, "Your man fucked up, and you guys can't even admit that he fucked up."

  • ||

    Romnevitabiliy.(It's a Romnentuality?)

    We can't just Mitt idly by as Obama revs up his campaign! The time has come for Rompromise!

  • plu1959||

    Vote for Romnama!

  • John||

    Romania with a short "O" so it doesn't sound like the country.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Ruh-roh!

  • Sudden||

    Romnipotence.

  • ||

    Romnipotence.

    Where's Barfman when you need him? Lucy, smite this one!

  • db||

    Mittnertia?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Also, Obama just loves the private sector and signed the JOBS bill to prove it. (JOBS; Jump-Starts Our Business Start-ups. Sigh.)

    I thought that was named that because it turns each of us into Job.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    ^^^ A little corny, but funny.

  • ||

    Shouldn't the acronym be JSOBS? Because that's more fitting.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Shouldn't you mind your own business?

  • ||

    Probably.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Bill of JOBS? BJOBS?

  • BakedPenguin||

    B-jobs? Only the government could make those unappealing.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    POORSOBS. (You figure out how to make that acronym work.)

  • ||

    Pulling Out Our Resources to Start Overall Business Success

  • ||

    Please Organize Our Resources to Start Overall Business Success is a better name, in retrospect, as it advocates central planning. So much for my career in Congress.

  • Evil Otto||

    You could probably make good money providing backronyms for Congress. There's one startup they could jump-start immediately.

  • ||

    I liked you better as Tulpa. Did you check your rocket email?

  • PantsFan||

    Barrichello to replace Massa at Ferrari?

    http://motortweets.com/felipemassa/news/662597

  • ||

    This has all been part of Barrichello's evil plan ever since he smacked Massa in the head with that spring.

  • JW||

    I'm a big Rubens fan, but I can't see that happening. Too many other young bucks vying for that seat.

  • ||

    Headlines: "Humongous fuzzy dinosaur unearthed in China (+video)"

    Link not working makes me suspect that dinosaurs are a lie, and that the fossils were planted by Satan.

  • Lucy Steigerwald||

    Fixed/vanquished Satan.

  • ||

    And with a CSM link, no less! I'm pretty sure that qualifies you for Sainthood.

  • T||

    that the fossils were planted by Satan

    Or Terry Pratchett's geat grandma, either one.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Rick Santorum gets media attention by being that guy who won't acquiesce to Romnevitabiliy.(It's a Romnentuality?)

    The governor prefers Juggermitt.

  • Sudden||

    Romnipotence.

  • ||

    Romnipotence.

    I just threw up in my mouth on that one.

  • PantsFan||

    Have some Krombacher tonight

    Ferdinand Alexander Porsche, designer of Porsche 911 dies aged 76

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/mot.....ed-76.html

  • John||

    Don't get me wrong, I would own any Porsche that doesn't have four doors in a minute. But God, they are the world's laziest design shop. Can they at least try to come up with a car that doesn't look like a 9-11?

  • Pro Libertate||

    No, because they need no substitute.

  • John||

    They are just Germans and worse Swabians. Everything must be orderly and in its place. No need to change the design. This is our design.

    Top Gear reviewed the Cayman a few years ago. They loved it except that there were a couple of very easy things they could have done to make it faster. They couldn't figure out why they didn't do that. Then they got out a graph that showed the performance of the low end Boxter, the mid range Cayman and the high end 911. By every metric the Cayman was dead in the middle between the Boxter and the 911. It was so German. The Cayman is the middle car, so everything must be in the middle.

  • ||

    John you just made me think of a Swabian cookbook that I have. The cover is great.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Four stars!

  • John||

    I bet that cookbook is neat and highly organized. It is how the roll. And probably some good food too.

  • Pro Libertate||

    And you'd better damned well like it.

  • ||

    It has a recipe for dumplings that are referred to in German as "boy's penises". I kid you not.

  • Pound. Head. On. Desk.||

    It has a recipe for dumplings that are referred to in German as "boy's penises". I kid you not.

    First time I saw the word "Bubespitzle" on a German menu I about gagged.

  • Ice Nine||

    In a German freakin' cookbook?! I think probably not.

  • Ice Nine||

    to John

  • Pound. Head. On. Desk.||

    In a German freakin' cookbook?! I think probably not.

    They're German/Austrian gnocchi, close enough.

  • ||

    The recipes in this cookbook are written in a strange way, more like vague instructions on how to cook the meals, sometimes lacking accurate measurements.

    That doesn't sound very German.

    "Now, to make zee authentic Svabian potato pancakes, perform zee following steps. First, you must choose an appropriate amount of zee correct ingredients. Second, you must prepare them in zee normal way. Zen, you must cook zem."

  • ||

    People who don't know how to cook need every fucking step spelled out for them.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Well, I imagine the author expects that only fully trained chefs would dare to read his book. Therefore, details would be superfluous and wasteful and have no place in the Reich.

  • T||

    Ding. German technical manuals assume the same thing. You obviously were properly trained in the repair of our equipment and just need this as a reference and parts manual.

    Of course, I have some 50s cookbooks that are fucking comical in their lack of direction. If you don't have a excellent idea what you're doing beforehand, the 1954 Gourmet cookbook is a savage place.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    Sounds like a cookbook my grandmother had. It made a lot of assumptions about what people knew about cooking. But probably not far off the mark for that time period.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Wasn't it the attention to detail and assumption that readers had no experience that made Julia Child's first cookbook so popular? That's what I remember from some chick flick I watched with my wife, anyway.

  • Pro Libertate||

    English people talking about cars? The English can't manufacture a can-opener.

  • John||

    You leave Jaguar and Rover alone you philistine. Just because they breakdown every three miles, doesn't mean they aren't cool. If reliability and predictability were the measure of cars, where would the Italians be?

  • Pro Libertate||

    With the English, building crappy things. At least the Italians can cook and make clothes. And wine.

  • John||

    There is nothing crappy about a Jag. And the Italians make cars that are like three year olds. They cost a fortune, they constantly drive you crazy and are completely unreliable, but if someone tried to take yours, you would kill them.

  • Pro Libertate||

    See, I have this idea that a car should work. You know, drive places and stuff.

  • Ted S.||

    See, I have this idea that a car should work. You know, drive places and stuff.

    You could always join the Lada Club.

  • BakedPenguin||

    On the side of the road.

  • ||

    There was (is?) an auto shop in Paterson, NJ that did nothing but pull the engines out of Jags and replace them with American V8s. Their entire lot was Jags.

    Beautiful cars, terrible engines.

  • John||

    That is all the old Jensen Interceptor was. A cool looking English car with a MOPAR 440 V8 so that it you know actually started once in a while.

  • Loki||

    A lot of times their electical systems would leave a lot to be desired as well. But British engines were horrific.

  • Sevo||

    "There was (is?) an auto shop in Paterson, NJ that did nothing but pull the engines out of Jags and replace them with American V8s."

    John's Cars in Dallas has made a career of it:
    http://www.johnscars.com/

  • ||

    Where would the world's middle aged bald men be without Jaguars? What would they put their custom JAG BABY and SEXY JAG licence plates on?

  • JW||

    Jag owners have nothing on Lambo owners.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Those are some sort of lawn decoration, right? I'm not sure I've ever seen one actually move.

  • Loki||

    Speaking of Top Gear, is Richard Hammond still hypnotized to believe that the Porsche 911 is the greatest car ever made? Is that why to this day he is still such a 911 fetishist, or is that just how he is?

  • PantsFan||

    He never fully recovered from the accident.

  • JW||

    I won't go so far as saying it's the best car evah, but the 911 is still a beautiful car. I'd grab one if I had the coin.

    In the alternative, if I had Porsche level of free cash, I'd probably get a GT-R.

  • Lord Humungus||

    A little Porsche story - One crappy winter day, my old man was heading north in his slow Trailblazer. Even with all the snow and ice, he got passed by a Cayman going (in his estimation) 70-80.

    A few miles later, and he saw the Cayman again - on it's side in the middle of the highway. Derp!

  • Lord Humungus||

    derp to me! Cayman = Cayenne

  • Pro Libertate||

    And it's not 9-11. That was some terrorist thingee.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The Porsche 911 is a joke in your town.

  • Pro Libertate||

    In my town? I dunno, I'd like one, if anyone has an extra.

  • T||

    If you haven't heard the Duran Duran cover of that, you're missing something rare, precious, and deranged.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

  • Pro Libertate||

    Oddly, I'm not a Duran Duran fan.

  • ||

    That's because you're stupid.

  • Pro Libertate||

    It's a heterosexual thing.

  • ||

    You don't have to be vegisexual to like them, ProL. Your vegiphobia is very offensive to me.

  • ||

    You don't have to be vegisexual to like them, ProL. Your vegiphobia is very offensive to me.

    He has good reason. Pro'L Dib once asked me if some poor dope had a cucumber or some other gourd or tuber lodged in the rectum, what would be the method of removal. I explained it to him and he went alabaster.

    I don't think he's recovered since. Can't even look at kidney beans. And squash...out of the question!

  • Pro Libertate||

    I don't even believe in such things.

  • ||

    Like hell you don't! Besides, you aren't a Duran Duran fan; who cares what you think, Pro'L Dib?

  • Proprietist||

    Aren't vegisexuals the folks that masturbate to Veggie Tales?

  • BakedPenguin||

    Speaking of precious and deranged, Wesley Willis' cover of Girls on Film.

  • ||

    "Hellride" is the term used by Willis to describe his encounters with "demons,"[5] which occurred mainly on the CTA bus lines in Chicago.[citation needed] Willis, diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, often claimed that demons were trying to ruin his "Harmony Joy Music" or "Joy Rides".[1][5] Willis also used the term to describe general harassment: In one of his songs he says, "He gave me a yelldown warhellride." When asked about the demons or Hellrides, Willis would often comment that he was trying to "stay the hell out of prison" by "not hitting people in the street with bricks."

    A good goal for anyone, really.

  • R C Dean||

    Well, it depends on the people, doesn't it?

  • Trespassers W||

    Can they at least try to come up with a car that doesn't look like a 9-11?

    They did. It's called the Cayenne, and it's hideous.

    Pray they don't alter the design further.

  • John||

    True, although the Cayman is quite beautiful.

  • T||

    Never seen a Panamera, then?

  • Loki||

    Panamera = Cayenne that a giant accidentally stepped on. I saw one last week, god that's an ugly ass car. It's the Samantha Brick of automobiles.

  • General Butt Naked||

    "Humongous fuzzy dinosaur unearthed in China... my pants (+video)"

    Sorry, had to.

  • ||

    The URL in your name is wonderful. Thank you for bringing that into my life.

  • General Butt Naked||

    Check out Vice Guide to Liberia. It's where I first encountered The Great General.

    Vice travel is awesome. They have an episode where they sneak into NKorea; it's super creepy.

  • Ska||

    I have those vids saved at home. The waitresses rearranging the food that they put out and take back for every meal is all class.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Now, if you can afford to go the doctor, why not also buy a town?

    The Free State Project has to start somewhere. Jump on that!

  • John||

    http://losangeles.cbslocal.com.....taxpayers/

    Taking passports of delinquent taxpayers? How long before they just build a wall to keep people in?

  • ||

    You know who else talked about walls being built to keep people in?

  • sloopyinca||

  • Loki||

    Qin Shi Huang?

  • Suki||

    Wasn't that post-Hitler, commie half of Germany?

  • Anacreon||

    Roger Waters?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    On Thursday, Santorum met with conservative leaders in Virginia to discuss a way forward against Romney, including trying to get fellow challenger Newt Gingrich to drop out, according to sources familiar with the talks.

    Well, that seems a little hypocritical.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Patients cut back on prescription drugs and doctor visits last year, a sign that many Americans are still struggling to pay for health care, according to a study released Wednesday by a health industry research group.

    Well, it seems to me that the Times should have reported this before SCOTUS heard arguments on the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act, since Obamacare would fix all these health problems.

  • plu1959||

    Not to mention the corresponding rise in life expectancy among Americans!

    (Actually, I just made that up. But it's plausible.)

  • R C Dean||

    Patients cut back on prescription drugs and doctor visits last year, a sign that many Americans are still struggling to pay for health care the vestiges of personal responsibility still left in our health care system show promise as the way to control costs.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    We are all death panels now.

  • yet another dave||

    "Syria violence worsening as deadline nears: U.N. chief"

    Surprise, Surprise

  • ||

    Ammunition manufacturer Hornady is now making a line of anti-zombie ammo.

  • ||

  • Xenocles||

    From the disclaimer: " No human being, plant, animal, vegetable or mineral should ever be shot with Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition. Again, we repeat, Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is for use on ZOMBIES ONLY, and that's not a nickname, phrase or cute way of referring to anybody, place or thing. When we say Zombies, we mean…ZOMBIES!"

    Interesting that they'd make a product never intended to be used. Not the best idea to carry the joke into the legalese, I think.

  • R C Dean||

    Some company here in Texas will actually sell you ammo with gold or silver bullets.

  • ||

    Silver, I get, assuming it's in the same humorous vein as the zombie ammo. But what's the lore behind gold?

  • ||

    It's the only way to kill a Libertarian: the heathens cannot embrace death unless you can trick them into thinking it was a profitable transaction.

  • Pro Libertate||

    That's a myth. Shooting us with gold makes us stronger.

  • ||

    What part of "spread misinformation to gain more gold powers" did you not understand?

  • Pain||

    They're for shooting poor people I imagine.

  • fish||

    I thought that's what the monocle launcher was for?

    Hey! Where did everybody go?

  • JeremyR||

    Hmmm, none of it for revolvers. That's dumb.

  • JeremyR||

    Hmmm, none of it for revolvers. That's dumb.

  • JeremyR||

    D'oh. So is double posting.

  • John||

    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/te.....6317396841

    Putin is building a zombie gun.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Fewer Americans ...taking prescription drugs in this here economic climate.

    Plus, you have to be in real pain to get the good ones.

  • John||

    The fucking DEA. The good ones are really hard to get. You pretty much have to be missing a limb or have major surgery to get them.

  • ||

    John, you have no idea how true that is. DEA on both state and federal levels are full metal clamping down on the veracity of scheduled prescriptions.

    I'm very thankful I'm not a PX Mgmt. specialist.

  • Killazontherun||

    My brother in law had surgery last Friday and they stuck a piece of titanium in his neck. He has been having strokes off and on for two years now. Problem is, you can't get him to sit still. He has to be moving even with a brace on his neck. I saw him out and about in his yard yesterday with a wheelbarrow. Yes, I had him deliver two bags of fertilizer over to my yard, but that doesn't mean I'm not concerned. I think if you could insert a years worth of time released THC under his skin he would finally mellow the fuck out enough to actually heal. What do you think, doc?

  • Killazontherun||

    Wait. This is a patentable idea, isn't it? Forget I said anything everybody! You saw nothing! Mine!

  • ||

    There is a preparation for that, actually. Tis called Marinol, and can be compounded topically in pharmacy, provided they compound. To my knowledge, there aren't any pre-prepared transdermal release preparations, a la Fentanyl Duragesics. I'll have to check, but I don't think so.

  • ||

    Wait. This is a patentable idea, isn't it? Forget I said anything everybody! You saw nothing! Mine!

    That one is actually a no-go, since the alkaloid is going to compound itself very quickly, even with a time release subdermally a la Norplant, THC is not something to be released into the bloodstream directly.

  • Killazontherun||

    Glad to hear it. I would feel more stupid about giving away a great idea than I would for coming up with a stupid idea in the first place.

  • Metazoan||

    But THC isn't an alkaloid, is it? Or are we talking about a different drug now?

  • ||

    But THC isn't an alkaloid, is it?

    Technically, no. Since the delta 9-THC molecule has a present a functional hydroxyl group (OH) the proper identification would be an alcohol, since there is also lacking a nitrogen. It was classified as cannabinoid (still is) erroneously under ergot alkaloids, like nicotine in tobacco, for quite a while. It's unique property, lipid solubility, as I'm sure you know, is what gives it it's compounding effect, acting specifically on the cannabinoid receptors in the brain.

    Or are we talking about a different drug now?

    Not quite, as Marinol (dronabinol) is a synthetic delta 9-THC molecule and mimics the effects of naturally occurring THC, since it is essentially the same molecule.

    Either of these, however, would be ill advised to administer parenterally/IV since THC in its free form is quite potent and possibly toxic, as direct injections of THC into the brains of lab vermin of various stripes has shown. Suffice it to say, it was "designed" to be smoked or eaten, since lipid tissue and digestion negate quite a bit of the potency of the drug.

  • ||

    Worst album covers of all time:

    http://blog.tastebuds.fm/worst.....-all-time/

    Make with the clicky, this is definitely worth a moment of your time.

  • ||

    1) A NSFW is not just a suggestion, a little warning please?

    2) Those aren't safe, full stop!

    3) Those are portraits of a good number of commenters.

    All in all, that is just awful!

    No wonder Lucy is peeved with us.

  • ||

    1) A NSFW is not just a suggestion, a little warning please?

    You're right, my bad. Won't happen again.

    3) Those are portraits of a good number of commenters.

    Yep, and I'm one of them. I'll let you guess which.

  • ||

    Yep, and I'm one of them. I'll let you guess which.

    You're either Ken, Svetlana, or Argentina.

    Most likely you are one of the many people photographed with strabismus.

  • ||

    You're either Ken, Svetlana, or Argentina.

    Nope, nope, and nope. Hint: I look simply fabulous in a pair of Daisy Dukes.

    Most likely you are one of the many people photographed with strabismus.

    You're oh for two, sport. This piercing (some would say haunting) gaze has dropped many a panty in its day.

  • ||

    Nope, nope, and nope. Hint: I look simply fabulous in a pair of Daisy Dukes.

    Ken was a serious guess. Svetlana was a one off. Argentina was so ridiculous it might have been correct.

    OMG! Tino, weren't you in Menudo at some point?

  • ||

    OMG! Tino, weren't you in Menudo at some point?

    Ay, papi!

  • John||

    I am kind of digging the "My Pussy Belongs to Daddy" cover. What is wrong with that one?

  • Ska||

    Not a damn thing.

  • Proprietist||

    Isn't that White Indian on the "Handsome Beasts" cover?

  • Ken Shultz||

    Worst album covers of all time:

    They left off the very worst album cover of all time...

    http://www.omodern.com/kult/pages/gertjonnys.html

    ...which is totally safe for work.

  • ||

    They left off the very worst album cover of all time...

    It's like the Village People and The Polar Express met, fucked, and had a baby.

  • oncogenesis||

    The Cody Matherson album is a fake. The rest are legit and hilarious.

  • ||

    The Cody Matherson album is a fake.

    Should we be concerned that you know this?

  • Trespassers W||

    The otherwise-hilarious title isn't terribly original.

  • Ted S.||

    Before I click: is it a slideshow? Because I'm not clicking if it is.

  • ||

    It's not, and I forgot to warn everyone: NSFW

  • Ska||

    "The Best of Wayne Newton"

    *Reads record label*

    Nicely done.

  • PantsFan||

    100 Years Later: A Snapshot of Life on the Titanic
    (slideshow)

    http://lightbox.time.com/2012/.....-viewagn#1

  • ||

    Those are some nice fucking tits on 4. Whoever made this list is a moron if he thinks that's a bad album cover.

  • PantsFan||

    Thread fail

  • ||

    That one's not my fault, I swear. But nice tits on your slideshow too.

  • SugarFree||

    Awesome thread fuck-up. We should call doing that A Warty.

  • ||

    Nice tits on you, fatty.

  • SugarFree||

    The third track on your 2nd album, right?

  • ||

    I thought doing A Warty was taking a dump that's so compacted that it makes a clinking sound when it hits the bowl.

  • ||

    No, that's a Nibbler.

  • ||

    Right, right. Well then, it's settled: you respond to the wrong subthread, you've pulled A Warty. Even if it's not your fault but a website error. Then it's An Inadvertent Warty, which will also be the name of NutraSweet's upcoming sequel to This Side of Paradise.

  • Killazontherun||

    What about a dump that causes back wash to go up your bum? What is that called. I usually yell a, 'woah, woah, oh ho, oh my!' when that occurs.

  • ||

    What about a dump that causes back wash to go up your bum?

    A "swooshie", aka an accidental enema.

  • SugarFree||

    No, no... The back splash dump is called The Kiss.

  • ||

    Actually, according to Urban Dictionary, that's called Neptune's Kiss."

    As an aside, a "witch's kiss" occurs when, while seated on a public toilet, your tip comes into contact with the underside of the toilet rim.

    The more you know, right?

  • ||

    Thanks gents. Consider me edified!

  • ||

    You're very welcome.

    As if to belabor the point, I was recently asked by a young woman if she could administer unto me a "black kiss." I'll let you all look that up.

    Anyway, I declined.

  • ||

    "black kiss."

    That one, I know, and not from personal experience. You were wise to decline.

  • ||

    That one, I know, and not from personal experience. You were wise to decline.

    Thing is, she looked good. Though I should say "looks" since we are still friends. But when she hit me with that, it was off-putting enough that it killed the attraction.

  • SugarFree||

    Life is short, Karl. Don't let fear keep you from getting your asshole tounged.

    She might even do it twice, if you don't fart in her face the first time. But try that on the 2nd time, it might really turn her on.

  • ||

    She might even do it twice, if you don't fart in her face the first time.

    Right, because the farting is something you have to ease into.

  • plu1959||

    Hey, Mac, would it kill you to give us a little NSFW?

  • SugarFree||

    42,000 personal photographs? I'm tired just thinking about that amount of work.

  • sloopyinca||

    OK, I just got off the phone with the Williams and Williams people. And the rub on this is, it's an unincorporated town and the county has a right to not only determine what laws will be followed, but they also have the right to police the town and charge the resident(s) as they see fit for the services.

    And if you're still interested, the bidding may start at $100k, but the reserve price is just under $1M, and there's a 15% buyer's premium on top of that.

    BTW, W&W is a decent property auction house, but if the seller were serious, he'd likely have gone to Sotheby's or JP King. And while we use W&W as broker for our property deals, we always use our own auctioneers and bid catchers.

  • Pro Libertate||

    So no announcement about the winner of your pool? It's bad enough I'm not getting cash.

  • SugarFree||

    A little eager to be his man-husband, aren't you?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Is it too much to ask for total obeisance and submission to my will?

  • PantsFan||

    You win the steak knives.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Tell me they're Ginsu [Oh, please, oh please.].

  • Loki||

    You can always buy your won missile base to turn into an underground lair. Not the same as having as having your own town, but at least you could turn into you own Bond villain lair.

    http://www.missilebases.com/properties

  • sloopyinca||

    Ladies and Gentlemen! I present to you the final standings of the Reason Hit & Run Superpimp March Madness Basketball Tournament Pick-Em Extravaganza.

    And the SEC homerism seems to have paid off. Pro Libertate just kept pounding away at the competition and led from nearly start to finish. Kilroy and Brett were close behind, and should be applauded on their tie for second.
    In the international division, T. Canada won with Ayn Randian coming in just a point behind, and both of those two were in the top 7 overall, which goes to show that our flappy-headed brethren to the north really know a lot about sports they aren't capable of playing at a very high level.

    And yes, I came in the bottom half on both of my brackets, but in my defense, I had a lot of shit going on.

  • Pro Libertate||

    The Canadians invented basketball.

    I'd like to thank the SEC, the Academy, and the Canadians.

  • robc||

    A Canadian invented basketball...in America.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Well, duh. We're all in America. North America.

  • PapayaSF||

    Many know that the original baskets were peach baskets, but not many know that after each score they brought out a ladder to retrieve the ball. Many, many games were played before someone had the idea to cut the bottoms out of the baskets.

  • PantsFan||

    WOO!

  • Pro Libertate||

    And I wasn't a homer--I picked UF to lose to Missouri.

  • sloopyinca||

    Missouri=SEC to me. But I live a few months in the future.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Only if they had won.

    I actually had Florida going to the Eight and losing to Louisville, then I heard some nonsense about how great Missouri was. So I recanted and knocked off UF. Betting against Donovan is always a bad idea.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Ready to enjoy the in-conference asskickings Mizzou is going to take come football season?

    I know I am.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I think Florida kicks their ass early in the season this year.

  • PantsFan||

    Steve Nash is a fine basketballer.

  • AuH2O||

    Now, this morning, Lucy said the morning links had rampant sexism. Now, I don't know if she thinks that because of the pictures of hot women, or because of our hatred of Jez. If it's the latter, I think a larger discussion of modern day feminism is required. But in case it was the later, here are some pictures for the ladies.

    Gerard Butler:
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....sique.html
    Jon Ham:
    http://www.lemonwade.com/wp-co.....53x475.jpg

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Chicks probably dig this guy, too? After all, he is a Golden God.

  • ||

    Dennis: I don't wanna get too bulky.

    Dee: Right.

    Dennis: I wanna stay nice and lean and tight. I wanna get that Jesus on the cross look. You know what I mean?

    Dee: I see what you're saying. I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core because...

    Dennis: Oh, absolutely. Jesus had, like, the best abs. He had the right idea. Hey, he knew: no pain, no gain.

  • ||

    Shirtless Gerard Butler shows off his muscles as he soaks up the Malibu sun

    Where are the fucking muscles? All I see is a tiny skinny man.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Well, he's ambulatory and I don't see any strings, so I think we have to assume there's a musculature. But technically you are correct. His muscles are hidden behind a much larger organ.

  • Lucy Steigerwald||

    Gerard Butler is gross. Jon Hamm is so handsome it should be not a good thing but it totally is.

    I also like how controversial I was. Y'all must know you're this way. But Jezebel mostly deserves it.

  • Brandon||

    How many blatant lies can you count in the JOBS article? I stopped at 3, because my boss walked by.

  • Arant||

    OT: I am having a huge intellectual battle going on in my head that needs som eclarrification from those more intelligent than me. (Reasonoids not Top Men)
    I work for a defense contractor the MIC, if you will, for a while and our budget has been cut along with all other departments in the DoD. Good thing right?
    However, I just talked with a friend of mine who works for DoD contractor who does environmental oversight. She said her departments budget has been cut by the same percentage. WTF? We are talking about an entire department who monitors environmental impact of a base which closed in the mid-90s. They have 25 Top Men working full time to monitor the situation.
    My question, with budget cuts to DoD, which I agree need to happen, should they be equal across the entire department? In other words should a completely useless department get cut the same as a department that actually provides an actual service to those in theater?
    I think that this is deliberate to gin up the anger of MIC people to vote MORE defense spending. If the complete waste of time jobs are reduced by 80% and our workforce is still reduced so be it, a long time coming. But, if all the obvious waste is reduced by the same percentage as the "provides an essential service according to the SecDef" doesn't that just make people cry out for more DoD funding under the auspices of security?

  • R C Dean||

    There's no explanation that isn't deeply cynical, which I'm sure you can do on you own.

  • ||

    It's just a fleshwound, so just say no! Fewer Americans going to the doctor, taking prescription drugs in this here economic climate.

    Notice the difference between the article title: "Americans Cutting Back on Drugs and Doctor Visits" and the original web link: americans-struggle-with-medical-care-despite-economic-recovery.

    I love when that happens. It indicates that the news provider was called out shortly after the initial posting.

  • Trespassers W||

    I think that's

    americans-struggle-with-medical-care-despite-economic-recovery-women-and-minorities-hit-hardest

    and if you're paying attention, yes I'm making the same joke twice in one day.

  • DEG||

    John,


    How long before they just build a wall to keep people in?

    I expect the border wall with Mexico will one day be transformed from a wall to keep Mexicans out to a wall to keep Americans in.

  • R C Dean||

    It already is. Walls by definition work both ways. Physics or something.

  • PantsFan||

    are we still live?
    Stalin exercise books fly off shelves in Moscow

    http://ca.news.yahoo.com/stali.....32357.html

  • DEG||

    R C Dean,


    It already is. Walls by definition work both ways. Physics or something.

    True. Though the government's official line on the wall is that it is to keep Mexicans out. While the official line might not change, I expect the Border Patrol is going to start watching for folks going from the US to Mexico instead of the other way.

  • MorinJulio||

    my neighbor's mother-in-law got paid $13787 a week ago. she gets paid on the internet and got a $457400 house. All she did was get blessed and try the clues written on this web site (Click on menu Home more information) http://goo.gl/nXLlN

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