Kinder Surprise Egg Confiscated at Canadian Border

Lind Bird had no idea she was in possession of illegal goods when she tried to cross the border from Canada to the United States with a $2 chocolate Kinder Surprise egg in her car. But astute U.S. customs officials detected her confectionery contraband at once, and seized it from the appropriately-named Bird.

Little did Bird know, the Kinder egg could have resulted in a $300 fine. The toy surprise inside has been declared an unacceptable choking hazard by U.S. officials. (I've never had a Kinder Surprise egg, but a gander at the image at right suggests you'd have to be awfully intent on getting that chocolate into your system not to notice the huge, bright yellow plastic capsule inside.)

Instead of getting to chow down on a chocolate egg when she got home, Bird was treated to a 7-page letter from U.S. customs officials seeking official permission to destroy the egg.

"I thought it was a joke. I had to read it twice. But they are serious," she said.

The letter states if Bird wishes to contest the seizure, she'll have to pay $250 for it to be stored as the two sides wrangle over it.

Bird is far from alone in having run afoul (afowl?) of the anti-egg law:

The U.S. takes catching illegal Kinder candy seriously, judging by the number of them they've confiscated in the last year. Officials said they've seized more than 25,000 of the treats in 2,000 separate seizures.

Via Free-Range Kids.

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  • Suki||

    25,000 kept off the streets? That is like 75,000 children saved or revived!

  • Paul||

    Win.

  • ||

    Saved or conceived.

  • Paul||

    Depends on where you put the toy.

  • Dello||

    Suki and Pro for the tie!

  • Paul||

    "I thought it was a joke. I had to read it twice. But they are serious," she said.

    The letter states if Bird wishes to contest the seizure, she'll have to pay $250 for it to be stored as the two sides wrangle over it.

    If I had the $250, I'd contest it. There's nothing I'd love more than to watch a dozen pencil necked career bureaucrats investigating my Kinder Surprise Egg.

    But in all seriousness, if we let Kinder Eggs through the border, what's next? You have to draw the line somewhere. The next thing you know, kids are bringing Squinkies, and then it's anarchy.

  • Cyto||

    Yep, its a direct path down to jarts.

  • Cyto||

    Yep, its a direct path down to jarts.

  • sevo||

    Kinder Eggs: The gateway toy!

  • anarch||

    "I thought it was a joke yolk," she said.

  • ||

    These are freely available at a kiosk at a local mall. Wonder if I can get a reward by snitching on those scofflaws!

  • ||

    We must be protected from the Canadian candy menace, since, as we all know, Canadian candy is evil and is in fact an agent of the Queen and the British attempt to reconquer us.

  • Canadians||

    We've been amassing our population along our southern border, preparing for an inevitable strike on the U.S.

    Kinder Eggs are merely a probing attack.

  • ||

    All those people along the border could be interpreted as an act of war. Maybe y'all should move northwards a few hundred miles?

  • Canadians||

    Now that Global Warming is in full swing, we can. But we prefer to keep our enemies closer.

  • cynical||

    Now that you've revealed this sensitive information, don't be surprised when an unmanned drone crushes your head someday.

  • Yup||

    Seven pages? Has the U.S. government cutting back to save the trees?

  • Adam||

    "I've never had a Kinder Surprise egg"

    That fragment makes me want to cry. You don't know what you're missing. Absolutely delicious.

    (greetings from north of the 49th parallel)

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    You people think m&m-like Smarties are good, so...

  • robc||

    Canadian smarties are possibly the most evil food on the planet.

  • Old Mexican||

    The U.S. takes catching illegal Kinder candy seriously, judging by the number of them they've confiscated in the last year. Officials said they've seized more than 25,000 of the treats in 2,000 separate seizures.

    They only represent a choking hazard in the US because only American kids are stupid enough to choke... The kids in the rest of the world are more careful, and intelligent. At least, that is what this prohibition leads one to conclude.

    By the way, the little toys inside those things are the cutest thing one could ever see. My mom collects those things.

  • Bradley||

    Sadly, the quality of the toys has declined in the last 20 years or so. They've gone from fully-functional mechanical cars — assembled from a bunch of ragtag parts like some kind of kiddie chop shop in an egg — to molded pieces of plastic that require at most a decal or two.

    So if it makes you feel any better, Canadian kids are apparently retarded too.

  • sevo||

    Won't anyone think of the Canadian childruuuun?!

  • ||

    reason sickos want children 2 choke

  • Almanian||

    No, the normal Reasonoids want children to choke.

    The SICKOS want to do much worse to them.

  • ||

    Someone needs to go back to troll school. A good troll never goes full retard.

  • sevo||

    "A good troll never goes full retard."
    Tell that to Max or Shriek.

  • robc||

    They arent good trolls.

  • ||

    Only on cock

  • You Still Suck Really Bad, Kid||

    I here certain companies hire mentally challenged individuals like yourself.

    http://www.jobbankusa.com/News.....enged.html

  • ||

    Why would it not surprise me to find out these seizures peak around Hallowe'en or Easter?

  • Almanian||

    Thanks, alert Border Guard peoples!

    I don't want to imagine what a Kinder Egg could do in the hands of someone like Jared Loughner.

    **shudders**

  • Hobie Hanson||

    Surprise! Reason is bringing up stories about chocolate eggs to avoid discussing the weekend tragedy that shows the consequences of hatemongering.

  • Almanian||

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    [clunk]

    OMG, Hobie! Thanks for that! I laughed so hard I fell off my CHAIR!

  • Troll||

    *Conveniently ignores the dozen or so articles before this*

    *Says something idiotic*

  • sevo||

    "...the consequences of hatemongering."

    He's right, ya know. We all have to stop mongering hate about grammar. It's dangerous!

  • Abdul||

    Hobie, what's your address? We want to send you a choking haz--I mean chocolate egg.

  • vousy zuřivosti||

    I'm almost certain Dan T is being sarcastic here.

    But it being Dan, I doubt it.

  • MattXIV||

    Extra ridiculous since when given a happy meal or box of cereal, kids generally make sure the prize inside is safely in their possession before touching the food parts.

  • Offizier Godwin - Customs||

    Actung! Is verboten der Kinder Zur Überraschung.

    In English ist "Zurprize". Vun must not Zurprize der Kinder. Zey must be Protected vrum all Zurprizings!

  • RandomGermanDude||

    Funny thing is: "Überraschungseier" are so fucking widespread here and I have never ever heard about a small child choking on one of these things. It's probably our Überdudeness saving us from ze hazardz. Still, an internal commission of the parliament proposed a new rule that food and toys should be not combined into a single product a few years ago - which would have outlawed ze "Ü-Ei". But luckily that proposal never left the pipe-dream stadium.

  • ||

    Was it a Muslim egg?

  • ||

    OH wow, now thats just downright messed up dude.

    www.total-privacy.edu.tc

  • ||

    Your also not allowed to bring California oranges from Canada to the US.

  • Almanian||

    Well, at least that makes sense.

    No, wait...

  • ||

    Yer not even allowed to take California oranges to California, at least not if you travel on I-5.

  • robc||

    Ive never been to CA, but Ive always wondered about the California produce border patrol. That cant even be remotely constitutional. What happens if you just say Fuck You and drive on?

  • ||

    I have been in a vehicle with folks who definitely had fruit aboard, and said "Nope" when asked and drove on. Ain't exactly Fuck You, but close enough for government work.

  • Vermont Gun Owner||

    Actually California probably can make a law like that.

    Congress is just supposed to use its power for the Commerce Clause to overrule it. Sadly, they seem to be too busy finding new things to justify with the Commerce Clause to use it for its actual purpose.

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    Actually, I see no reason why it's unconstitutional. California does not prevent interstate commerce in fruit; they need to protect their own agriculture from fruit-borne pests coming in from out of state. Remember the Mexican Fruit Fly thing from back in the 1970's/80's, whenever it was?

    And about 10 or 15 years ago there was some other kind of insect that came in and was ravaging crops; can't remember the details.

    I don't see the Commerce Clause as preventing states from taking resasonble actions to protect their economies in that way - what they can't do is enact laws that are pure economic protectionism.

    I've driven through the checkpoints out there too. Came down from Washington, through Oregon, in a big Class A motorhome. We had apples, grapefruit, plums, all kind of stuff. As I recall we handed over enough to satisfy them, but still had some aboard.

  • robc||

    Ignoring the commerce clause issues, the stop at the border without probably cause is unconstitutional.

  • robc||

    probable cause even.

  • Minute Boll Weevil||

    Remember the Mexican Fruit Fly thing from back in the 1970's/80's, whenever it was?

    No. And since you can't even remember it any more specific than a 2-decade span, it's importance is much exaggerated.

  • Karma W||

    I have had a Kinder Egg and the toy is very obvious. I remember being pissed off that our government wouldn't allow our stores to sell such a cool treat that encouraged creativity (a lot the prizes require assembling, like puzzles and models). But now they are confiscating them on the border and fining people, wasting money sending letters about them? Lovely.

  • sevo||

    Karma W|1.11.11 @ 8:21PM|#
    "I have had a Kinder Egg and the toy is very obvious...."
    So is the idiocy of banning them, but congress earns its keep on obvious idiocy.

  • Rrabbit||

    Your tax dollars at work!

  • SFC B||

    How much do you want to bet that DHS uses confiscated Kinder eggs to inflate their performance metrics when they have to report on how many dangerous items they have prevented from entering the US?

  • Steff||

    Ding ding ding! And we have a winner!

    In other words... yes, very likely.

  • Steff||

    The answer? A kinder revolution wherein everyone brings one across the border every day.

    Alas, people won't do that. But it sure does amuse me to think about the reactions to it.

  • BakedPenguin||

    I bought a matryoshka when I was in Latvia a few years ago. On a recent visit, my 4 yo niece saw it, and absolutely loved it.

    I didn't realize what an irresponsible bastard I was for letting her play with it, when the tiniest doll is obviously a choking hazard. I should turn myself in to Customs.

  • ||

    I wonder if Kinder Surprise Egg thingys show up on TSA naked x-ray machines? Does DHS have chocolate detecting dogs? How do the KSEs show up, if at all, on luggage scanners?

    Random Canadians have been known to fly to the US (mostly to FL, AZ and CA) so this is important to know.

  • GILMORE||

    I want to read a copy of the "We need permission to destroy your chocolate egg"-letter.

    I just think it should be in the public record, for posterity.

  • LarryA||

    $250 to store a candy egg? I wonder what the high bid was.

  • G.H.W. anarch||

    Kanada is a Kinder, Gentler Nation.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    When I go to Deutschland, I am totally going to smuggle some of those back in my anoos.

  • vousy zuřivosti||

    what you want from Deutschland is Yogurette

  • ||

    I did a google search on these and discovered they were available from several sellers in the US including on Amazon.com. If they are illegal in the US why are they being sold on Amazon.com from a place in New York with no restrictions on shipping within the US?

    http://www.amazon.com/Kinder-S.....B000LQOJ6Y

  • JB||

    This...THIS is what the US government is doing???!?!?!

    Any US government employee should have their sanity question. Little wonder that Nazi fucks had no problem cooking Jews in ovens. Look at all the fuckbag government employees who collect paychecks working for an entity that does this.

  • rhea||

    Beware people, don't want the gov't behind your back... but these are indeed being sold inside the US, maybe the gov't should take a look on these too!

    http://www.pathtoasia.com/jobs/

  • AlmightyJB||

    Aren't choking toys just part of the natural selection process? Why is the government so anti-evolution?

  • Invisible Finger||

    why? Because the kid that chokes to death on a Kinder Egg can't become a bureaucrat.

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    These are the same people that are seriously discussing regulating hot dogs in some way because kids choke to death on them every year.

    It's called governing by the lowest common demoninator. Impose nationwide standards bringing everyone down to the level required by the most stupid and lazy among us.

    Harrison Bergeron lives.

  • Jeffersonian||

    I feel safer already.

  • Invisible Finger||

    Now I understand why Terence and Philip have egg-shaped heads.

  • NL||

    Pretty sure this is just proof that a secret libertarian performance-art cabal has infiltrated the highest levels of DHS in order to perform absurdist street-theater. Only nobody gets it's supposed to be absurd.

    I'm just mad I wasn't invited into the cabal.

  • cgr||

    When I read this, I thought I remembered seeing kinder eggs for sale at one of the international grocery stores near me. (I don't want them to get raided, so let's just say it's somewhere in greater Chicagoland.) Sure enough, when I was there yesterday there was an entire pallet of them. I bought a couple just to stick it to the man! On a positive note, it's encouraging to see just how effective the Customs yahoos really are, if my local grocer can import an entire shipment of the things. Too busy harassing tourists coming home from Canada apparently.

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