Sincere People on YouTube Urge You to Rat Out Your Bearded Neighbors

Today's creepy Orwellian public service announcement is brought to you by the city of Los Angeles. Enjoy the :23 mark, where we learn that reporting is easy, and critical thinking is hard. A comically serious chubby nerd urges you to "let law enforcement determine if it's a threat" and then skinny sensitive guy on super zoom insists that we "let the experts decide."

Via Bob Ewing

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  • Brian Sorgatz||

    I'm glad those people gave their names, so I can stalk them.

  • jimbob||

    the fat nerd is really actor Michael Busch. lol

    http://www.ucbcomedy.com/talent/i/12

  • Flex Nasty B.I.G.||

    Methinks the cycling-shots-of-multicultural-people-each-saying-a-different-piece-of-dialogue style of video has jumped the shark. I'm so sick of these.

  • ||

    I second that!

  • I, Kahn O'Clast||

    "I like to watch"

  • I, Kahn O'Clast||

    I was just thinking it would be freaking great if they had either a Osama bin Laden look-alike or some dude in full on Taliban garb with an AK over his shoulder included in this video "I like to watch too!"

  • ||

    Ah, Brownshirts. Those were the days, ratting out your disloyal parents and friends.

    Is bug-eyed, surprised girl Al Pacino's niece, or is she just one of the countless victims of Grave's disease?

  • ||

    I thought it was Anna Faris at first, but then I realized she wasn't drunk and seemed to have a firm grasp on the English language.

  • ||

    Nah. The protruding orbits would present quite so early in Grave's. Takes a bit, then if left unaddressed, they do stay that way.

  • ||

    We could solve this fairly easily. She already looks like she has fine hair and she's quite thin. Let's just call her up and ask her if she's been experiencing oligomenorrhea. Her agent would give us her number for something like that, right?

  • skr||

    she was totally freakin' me out

  • @||

    iWant to kill all of them.

  • ||

    I was wondering if I were the only person creeped out by those soulless saucer eyes

  • ||

    What?! No app for that? How can you call yourself iWatch?!

  • ||

    hee hee

  • John Tagliaferro||

    But none of the creepy suspicious acting people I know have beards.

    Anxious to see this when I get home.

  • ||

    the guy at 0:46 has no family. how sad.

  • ||

    That is fucking creepy.

    And what Flex Nasty said. Stupid Micheal Jackson crap.

  • ||

    I have died inside yet a little bit more. Worse than gazing upon Jezebel whilst she be Feministing.

  • ||

    Greta is freaking me out.

    Do they seriously not think this type of thing would backfire? How many reports a day could they accurately process without, over a reasonable amount of time, becoming dismissive? It seems to me that if you encourage average people to report in this manor that there will be a huge influx of reporting, with little or no valid basis. Besides becoming desensitized, they are going to spend quite a bit of money monitoring, evaluating, and responding to these false, or exaggerated reports, in a state clearly in need of reduced spending.

  • ||

    clearly California is not spending enough. look around, we need to abandon the market to save it!

  • Spartacus||

    No kidding. Proof #2,732 that data =/= knowledge.

  • Thogek||

    Good point. So, either these people are as clueless of countless others who've done the same sort of thing on various scale before them, or...

    Is this about soliciting and using information from the citizenry? Or is it about nudging people a little closer to thinking of the government as their security expert, their protector, their big brother.

  • ||

    Exactly. How many daily reports will they get that ultimately boil down to "the guy across the street is really creepy".

    As a matter of fact, thinking about the types of people that will use the application, I wouldn't be surprised if "the guy across the street looks really creepy" were an actual report from a concerned citizen. Good luck LA.

  • ||

    Flex Nasty, for your viewing pleasure, here's another abomination, via Feministing.

  • ||

    ugh. i made it to 0:16. i'm probably a racist.

  • ||

    Do women really need more encouragement to be fat? Really?

  • ||

    Thought you might like that, Sug. Fat, unkempt and beatific-looking is Woman's natural state.

  • ||

    I just don't like politicization of aesthetics. I shouldn't have to change what I find attractive in order to help the self-esteem of woman who, quite rightly, don't actually give a crap what I think on a conscious level.

    I view the feminist pogrom against beauty as no more legitimate than religious repairative therapy to "cure" homosexuality.

  • ||

    I hear you, Sugarfree. These loons lead such an isolated existence they really believe someone can be bullied into changing their biological preferences. So much easier than getting their fat butts to the gym. (sorry, sorry, sorry, I went to a women's college and I'm still scarred)

  • wingnutx||

    "She carried another life inside her"

    This is obviously misogynist anti-choice propaganda of the worst sort.

  • John Tagliaferro||

    I expected nothing less from the city of Los Angeles. They have been in an iron grip of Right Wing Repyblican FOX News watching fanatics for decades!

  • ||

    I don't care what anyone says, that there is funny!

  • John Tagliaferro||

    Repyblican Republican

    Why do I bother with preview?

  • Michael||

    Wish you hadn't corrected that. I seriously thought you were simultaneously riffing on the feministing post above with a righteous "womyn" spelling of Republican.

  • rst||

    "Think about the power of iWatch".

    Indeed.

  • Jonas||

    I feel like they really needed Frank Langella to recite this line.

    Preferably in Skeletor makeup, but Richard Nixon would have worked too.

  • John Tagliaferro||

    K M-W,

    Did Matt give you permission to post about LA?

  • Atabrat||

    So now our stimulus dollars are going to out-of-work actors?

  • rst||

    It obviously created dozens of jobs. Are you a racist or something?

  • Colin||

    Spooky video with spooky people.

    I wonder what was the intent of the blurred backgrounds.

  • kinnath||

    Little did I know that all those dystopian SciFi books I read as a teen were instruction manuals for my generation to use to totally fuck up a good thing.

  • skr||

    Ray Bradbury is looking more prescient all the time eh Montag.

  • ||

    Sounds a little like the "Nightwatch" from Babylon 5...

  • dennis||

    Someone should send in a bunch of reports implicating the busybodies who produced this PSA.

  • Bingo||

    We need good people in charge to tell us what to do.

  • ||

    I say some enterprising LA folks call in the LA city counsel, the LAPD, the local congressvermin, etc. That would be sweet to watch.

    Either that or file so many bogus reports (I.C. Weiner, Jack Handsome, etc.) that the database becomes useless.

  • ||

    This blocked by my fire wall. But what the fuck? Let the experts decide? What the hell is wrong with people? This country is too fucking stupid to have a democaracy.

  • kinnath||

    All countries are too stupid to have democracies.

  • ||

    Hear Hear!

    oh shit i can't, i seem to have lost my head..

  • ||

    Not only is it pathetic, I wonder if they've given any thought to who these "experts" are and what they're "experts" in. From what I've seen, the government's "experts" are only expert at stepping on their own cranks.

  • Mango Punch||

    All I got out of that is that Brenna Mallard is a babe.

  • T||

    0
  • ||

    1

  • ||

    1

    Testing to see why I can't post a link.

  • ||

    Fuck it. I give up. Can't post this one thing for some reason.

  • Mango Punch||

    I just ran into the same issue on a different thread trying to post a Dealbreaker link... must be a bug?

  • ||

    I had a brief bout with active link posts being deleted yesterday morning.

  • John Tagliaferro||

    SF, you always have link issues. IT IS NOT THE SYSTEM!

  • John Tagliaferro||

    Can you just post the URL?

  • ||

    Nope. It just won't post the link, not even in plain text. It previews as a hyperlink, even in plain text, then just dumps out with no post on submitting.

    Curse you server squirrels!! It was a decent post too.

  • ||

    http://www.bestweekever.tv/200.....-premiere/

    Suspicious and bearded men! In L.A.!

  • Kay||

    People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.

  • ||

    I'm wondering how I can get my kid involved in the junior spies iWatch program. Can't be too safe, after all!

  • ||

    It's a hoax or viral advertising for a movie, right?
    It's a web site by the Yes Men, right?
    Somebody tell me this isn't real!!!

  • Xeones||

    These are some creepy motherfuckers. However, i take comfort in the fact that, eventually, LoneWacko will have consumed enough illegal bacon-wrapped hot dogs that his weight will cause the crust below his mother's basement to crack, and southern California will finally, finally sink beneath the waves. It's inevitable, like the heat-death of the universe.

  • ||

    God is this real? If so, what a bunch of fucking pussies.

  • ||

    I'm lovin' it!

  • ||

    this is actually quite clever. while telling us to keep an eye out, they are simultaneously showing us what types of people we should be looking out for.

  • Hacha Cha||

    Help! I SMELL something suspicious, it could be a terrorist scent!

  • ||

    Ammonium Nitrate by Calvin Klein

  • ||

    I think Axe is a plot to make the young men of America so unbearable to be around, that we all turn dyke, and then the terrorists win. Smell something, say something.

  • ||

  • Jonas||

    I had a roommate once who used Axe as air freshener.

    Yeah, you heard me. FUCKING AIR FRESHENER. He's really pretty luck I didn't torture him to death, mutilate his body, and feed his remains to hogs.

  • Clemsonuee||

    Having been (or still being depending on where you draw the line) a young man I promise you that we are unbearable to be around period. If not for the Axe then you might notice my boorish behavior or some other thing that you will not like. At least with the Axe you might think it's something you can fix and stay around.

    P.S. In all seriousness I do not wear Axe. I may subject you to bad jokes or go on a tri-state killing spree, but I have enough respect for those around be to not wear a body spray.

  • ||

    "Hey....um...really tight closeups won't have any kind sinister effect, will it? No? OK, Cool"

  • Xeones||

    Dagny, in college my housemates and i used to Axebomb each other's rooms. You take one of the sample-size cans, tape the button down, and throw it through the door before too much gets on you.

  • Bergholt Stuttley Johnson||

    Xeones, this might be the most awesome contribution you have made to this site since the "Yo, fuck ___!" meme. Thank you.

  • ||

    X, you're a cruel, cruel man. My oh-so progressive Canadian uni had co-ed floors, and even co-ed bathrooms. We'd try to hide/destroy Axe when we could, but it was a losing battle.

  • ||

    even co-ed bathrooms

    So that's where Warty keeps finding all those "Canadian chicks pooping" videos he keeps linking to.

  • Spoonman||

    Cornell has six co-ed bathrooms in one of its freshman dorms. Wasn't really a big deal, that's the side of the dorm I lived on so that's the one I used.

  • T||

    throw it through the door before too much gets on you.

    Any is too much.

  • Rich||

    We're still talking about iWatch, right?

  • @||

    iVomited.

  • Sizzle||

    I can't wait to hear Daily Kos blame Los Angeles fearmongerers for this....

  • jimbob||

    lol. i know that fat nerd and his name is not Chris Matthews. hes an actor in LA and his name is Michael Busch. lol

    http://www.ucbcomedy.com/talent/i/12

  • Bergholt Stuttley Johnson||

    Dude looks like a lady.

  • another Kevin||

    He was the fat, nerdy kid in the AllTel/"Chad" commercials for a time. I only remember because every time I saw that POS ad I wanted to punch Chad and his faux-hawk into next week.

  • Bergholt Stuttley Johnson||

    Why is only the creepy Indian lady "watching her community"?

    RACIST!

  • ||

    This makes Spirit's 1970 song "1984" seem eerily prescient. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RK0Jn1DbPAY

  • Isabel||

    I think Fidel Castro is behind iWatch - he's the expert at turning people against eachother! This junk is unreal...

  • FrankCostanza||

    Wait a minute, they got brown people IN this video? Jesus Christ they're working from the inside!

  • Sandra||

    God help us

  • SxCx||

    Anyone else imagine watching this in a classroom? Somewhere far in the future, if they still exist? "Studies In 21st Century Anxiety"?

  • Hobo Chang Ba||

    These people look WAY too ironic for this to be real.

  • anonymous||

    How can you take an idea as commonsense "if you see or strongly suspect that some serious criminal shit is going down, call the cops" and turn it into something so fucking creepy and totalitarian?

  • joemccarthy||

    I always wonder if this sort of paranoid sort of thing is financed by my taxes,or more properly by some fascist 501(c)(3) organization.

  • ||

    Tell them some suspicious looking men are standing on the sidewalks at 6th and Alvarado and making strange signals with their hands.

    The best part is, it won't be a false report, so they can't prosecute you.

    For those unfamiliar with L.A., that's the center of the fake ID market, and you will see people making the hand signal for "cartas" (a C shape) at basically any time of the day.

  • Tommy||

    I'm so happy to see the comments here. The people who populate this blog are apparently mentally sound.

  • ||

    Wow. This is more 1984 than I could ever imagine.
    The thought crimes are spreading throughout our society. Call the thought police and they will bug phones and e-mail of anyone looking like a Muslim or artist (=socialist).

  • ||

    Do not suspect your friend.

    REPORT HIM!

  • ||

    Honestly, did they have to put the Mirror's edge music in there on top of all things? It's sad that they aren't even trying to avoid ripping off 1984 and Equilibrium anymore.

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