TSA Employees Get Bonus of Peppers and Lotion

Katherine Mangu-Ward | June 2, 2009

When I lived in Boston, I often had a yen for the spicy peppers offered at Midwest/Mid-Atlantic sandwich chain Potbelly. Like many, I also have an aversion to checking luggage. So even though Potbelly sells mid-sized glass jars of the peppers, I couldn't figure out how to get them back to Beantown. Reasoning that my sloppily-packed small bottles of liquids routinely went undetected, I decided to give smuggling a go and packed a jar of the peppers deep within my roller bag. They were, of course, immediately detected. As the be-gloved Transportation Security Administration (TSA) employee carried my beloved peppers over to dump them, she said "If it makes you feel better, I've already emptied three of these bins today." It did not make me feel better. It made me feel worse. I wanted to tell the woman to keep them, take them home, and love them as I would have loved them.

An Allure blogger recently had a similar experience, but with fancy eye cream, and things went the other way:

Ever wonder what happens to your expensive face wash once the TSA confiscates it? That's what a Q&A in The Atlantic made us think about when a reader wrote in about an airport security person deeming her L'Oréal Studio Line Invisi-Gel too cool for the school that is domestic travel. She documented the fate of her product, writing: "I'd rather lose the $5 gel tube than pay a $40 bag-check fee. 'Enjoy it,' I said, concealing my irritation. She [the worker] replied, quietly, looking away from me: 'I will.' Do TSA employees get to keep this stuff?" The answer is, yeah, kinda sorta. While the official word is that, of course, it's all "disposed of," the street version is, hell yeah, we pocket the stuff. Ethical? Not so much. Then again, it beats your $200 eye cream going in the trash can. That's a relief, right? Um, right?

Obviously, there's a good reason for the official policy: TSA workers who were allowed to keep their confiscated booty would operating with some pretty screwed up incentives. 

Interesting bonus fact: Allure writers (sample headline: "The Year's Best Eyelash Looks") read The Atlantic (sample headline: "Pawlenty: No Plans Post-2010"). Good on 'em.

Note: Though I am a lady, I do not habitually read Allure. This item appeared in a Google News search for "TSA" which I was conducting in honor of TSA reauthorization season, which is now upon us.

Of course, some people make arty scissor spiders with confiscated TSA lots. 

Comments

|6.2.09 @ 5:19PM|#

I can tell you that at least one of those fuckers (at Regan National Airport) is enjoying my JBL noise-canceling headphones.

|6.2.09 @ 5:20PM|#

This is similar to the old joke about Cuban cigars being burned by the Border Patrol. Slowly. One at a time.

|6.2.09 @ 5:22PM|#

Of course they fucking keep the loot. What are you, stupid?

lunchstealer|6.2.09 @ 5:28PM|#

eBay, bitches!

|6.2.09 @ 5:29PM|#

Try coming from Spain with some jamon and sausages. I swear they look for Spanish passports, because they make a beeline for them and immediately root around for the jamon and take it all (remember that until very recently, it was extremely difficult to get jamon in the US because of export bullshit, which has now been resolved).

And of course they keep it/eat it. Do you think cops actually dump out the beers they confiscate from teenagers?

|6.2.09 @ 5:33PM|#

I found a great pecan-rasperry jelly when I was in Charleston last year. The conversation I had with with the TSA supervisor on the differences between a gel and a jelly ruled out the possibility that there are any aptitude or reasoning skills (drink!) required for TSA employees. He got a big kick out of the fact that if he fucked around with me long enough I would miss my flight. I too asked that somebody at least take it home and was told that it was going in the trash.

Mad Max|6.2.09 @ 5:38PM|#

"'Enjoy it,' I said, concealing my irritation. She [the worker] replied, quietly, looking away from me: 'I will.'"

This shows the risks our brave TSA officers are willing to take. What if that ointment had been some kind of sinister terrorist face cream that killed the person who put it on their face - like in that *Batman* movie.

Why do you mock this officer's courage?

|6.2.09 @ 5:48PM|#

I love how casually they toss my half-consumed bottled water into the trash. They then spend an entire 8 hour shift no more than 20 feet away from this trash barrel. So I ask, if my water is such a threat, why would they be willing to stand so close to it?

Today at JFK, I ate my lunch with metal silverware. I guess that's a little progress.

Jordan|6.2.09 @ 5:48PM|#

The solution: lace your fancy eye creams with pepper spray or poison ivy.

|6.2.09 @ 5:50PM|#

I too asked that somebody at least take it home and was told that it was going in the trash.

See, I would have said I wanted to watch him dump it out in the trash to make sure none of them took it home.

thoreau|6.2.09 @ 5:54PM|#

We hates the TSA! We hates them forever!

Some day our descendants will look back on the liquid ban on airplanes and either say "That was the stupidest fucking thing ever" or "They were so lucky back then, we can't even bring solids onto the plane."

cmace0|6.2.09 @ 6:09PM|#

Did anyone ever figure out if you can actually mix an explosive on board and aircraft?

They throw the stuff in the trash and then raid the dumpster.

|6.2.09 @ 6:13PM|#

I can give you ten easy ways to beat security if you are really hellbent on causing mayhem. The TSA is nothing more than security theater. It's all in the name of wanting travelers to "feel" safe, but has nothing to do with actual security.

IceTrey|6.2.09 @ 6:19PM|#

I'm just glad they thoroughly check the millions of pounds of cargo the airlines carry every year. Oh wait....

Paul|6.2.09 @ 6:39PM|#

it was extremely difficult to get jamon in the US because of export bullshit, which has now been resolved

Clearly not. Customs has now been replaced with the TSA.

Paul|6.2.09 @ 6:41PM|#

What if that ointment had been some kind of sinister terrorist face cream that killed the person who put it on their face - like in that *Batman* movie.

You may be on to something, here.

|6.2.09 @ 7:42PM|#

So Katherine's mad because the thing she *knew* would happen, happened?

While the rule is annoying and pointless and should be dropped, it wasn't a surprise. This isn't like the totally ridiculous, unpredictable things like TSA seizing a tiny action figure gun.

Mail a jar. It's probably cheaper than buying a replacement jar, let alone replacing your clothes if the jar breaks in your luggage.

Mike Laursen|6.3.09 @ 12:44AM|#

The TSA insisted on probing two cups of apple sauce we wanted to bring on a plane to feed our toddler. Not just once, but on two separate trips.

Abdul|6.3.09 @ 7:49AM|#

' Do TSA employees get to keep this stuff?" The answer is, yeah, kinda sorta. While the official word is that, of course, it's all "disposed of," the street version is, hell yeah, we pocket the stuff.

Aside from one TSA employee's throwaway comment ("I will"), the whole notion that TSA employees are living the high life on your purloined peppers and cold cream is supported entirely by speculation. TSA's policy is to sell the stuff. The linked article says they auction about 250 pounds of abandoned property a week.

Given that men are not angels, I'd bet that some screeners do occasionally pocket a shampoo bottle here and there, but I'd also bet that screeners who get caught are disciplined.

|6.3.09 @ 8:48AM|#

I bet if they could keep items, they would do a better job.

Tim|6.3.09 @ 9:28AM|#

Did anyone ever figure out if you can actually mix an explosive on board and aircraft?

Yes, it has been pretty much proven to not work,

Good Article

|6.3.09 @ 10:05AM|#

"I'd also bet that screeners who get caught are disciplined"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

|6.3.09 @ 10:18AM|#

During one of their random rule changes some TSA person, in a ridiculous uniform, took my expensive cigar lighter. I said I thought you could bring lighters through- she said not this kind. She went to put it on a table. I made her walk to a filthy trash can and put it in with a bunch of stinky liquids. I thought if you want it you'll have to pay with your dignity.

Abdul|6.3.09 @ 10:55AM|#

"I'd also bet that screeners who get caught are disciplined"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

about 465 TSA screeners nationwide were fired for theft between May 2003 and early October 2008

|6.3.09 @ 12:10PM|#

Those would be screeners who stole from checked luggage (jewelry, etc.), not screeners who "liberate" harmless items from passengers.

Abdul|6.3.09 @ 2:06PM|#

Those would be screeners who stole from checked luggage (jewelry, etc.), not screeners who "liberate" harmless items from passengers.

The article was about checked luggage, but the stat about firings wasn't so specific. Also, one can assume that theft of a jar of peppers from the "to be auctioned or disposed of" bin would be treated differently than theft of jewelry from checked luggage and not necessarily a fireable offense, but would be a disciplinary offense.

|6.3.09 @ 3:18PM|#

RC--My $100 headphones were stolen at the security checkpoint by someone at the screening machine.

I had my bag with me at all times (like the nice lady on the PA system tells you to do every 10 seconds or so) and had it with me the entire time until I went to get them out of the bag on the plane and found them missing.

Either I'm the victim of one of the most talented pickpockets in history (not counting the state) who can unzip my bag, root around, find them, take them and zip it back up without me noticing, or a GED clutching rent-a-cop with an X-ray machine, who has me distracted long enough so that I can put my shoes back on, and has a clean view of the contents of my bag and the exact location of each item.

|6.3.09 @ 4:41PM|#

""""I'd also bet that screeners who get caught are disciplined""""

Like cops that violate traffic laws are disciplined.

|6.3.09 @ 5:37PM|#

sixstring: "I can give you ten easy ways to beat security if you are really hellbent on causing mayhem. The TSA is nothing more than security theater. It's all in the name of wanting travelers to feel safe, but has nothing to do with actual security."

So what's stopping you? Name five now. It's a free country at the moment.