If The President Is So Hip With New Media, How The Hell Did This Video Ever Get Released by The White House?

Ah, President Barack Obama, so young and mod and virile and totally with it (remember his patently phoney iPod list, which managed to cover every possible voting demographic, even rap [but not the bad stuff]?). He's like Jack Kennedy without the cortisone shots and the Swedish Nazi spies. He's not like that ancient hunk of junk from Arizona's Petrified Forest, John McKraken, the guy who couldn't even work a Jitterbug cell phone fer chrissakes or a Life Alert medallion from a prone position. Even Lady Obama wears cool fashion-statement sneakers (costing $540! more than I've spent on half the cars I've ever purchased!) when she clothes the hungry and feeds the naked (the J Crew crap is only for meeting royalty).

And the Obama White House is, we've been told ad nauseum, filled with new media Wunderkinds who most excellently work the Twitter, the Facebook, the whole system of tubes once collectively known as the Information Superhighway by that other cool cat Al Gore (you know, the awkwardly public Grateful Dead fan who spent most of the '80s worrying about Occult messages in John Denver songs). This guy gets it. That's why he had that webcam town meeting where he got down with the folks who run this country—you know, you and me and everyone except all of us who were interested in his seriously addressing drug legalization—and that's why his official version of an online stimulus tracker will be providing meaningful information on where the money went sometime during his third term.

So given all that, can someone please tell me how in the name of sweet fancy Zardoz did the White House release this video of "highlights" from the White House Easter Egg Roll, a damnable tradition that dates back to the days when Rutherford B. Hayes was living in sin in D.C. with a Rhode Island Red?

Watch the whole thing and ask yourself, Is this why the terrorists hate us, or simply a sign that they have won? Is Luis Bunuel or The Mitchell Brothers working the editing booth in the White House these days? And just how are they going to top this at the Thanksgiving Turkey Shoot? Jeebus H. Christ, North Korean propaganda films are looking positively Eisensteinian by comparison. It's 2.27 minutes that you will watch again and again, as every frame is filled with more weird, wild, and wonderful shit than the cover of Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy.

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  • ||

    O is a bad egg.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Usually I appreciate a random James Cromwell cameo. Today it just makes me sad.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    That'll do, pig.

  • Xeones||

    Between Gillespie, Welch, and Cavanaugh, Hit 'n' Run has been blessed with some awesome rants lately.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    The art of the rant is underappreciated.

  • ||

    All I want to know is, what the hell is up with the Zardos references?

  • Alan Vanneman||

    JFK was banging his blonde Swedish spy bitch at 16th & Q, two blocks from my condo. Doug McArthur was banging his Filipino cutie Bubbles three blocks away, at 16th & R. History! It's all around us!

  • KT||

    Ugh, seriously, who cares about shit like this.

  • ||

    Meh, it was just mundane, as most "family" events are. But I swear to god, Obama had a teleprompter when "reading" that book.

    I saw Daniel Stern , but who the fugg else were all these other D-listers?

  • Pantera||

    Man, I don't want to be president anymore if I'd have to do stuff like this.
    It must've been especially bad for Bush because he's already passed the "family fun" stage of life.

  • ||

    "And the Obama White House is, we've been told ad nauseum, filled with new media Wunderkinds"

    - I swear this administration sounds more and more like the Nixon administration everyday.

  • Warty||

    Ah, President Barack Obama, so young and mod and virile

    Somehow, this got "Dark as a Dungeon" stuck in my head.

  • ||

    wierd, we are so fucked

  • Warty||

    OK, I watched the video. What the cockshit?

  • A Nell Magic||

    "Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy."

    Is this about butt sex?

  • ||

    Seeing ad nauseam misspelled makes me want to throw up. What was he thinking? One nauseum, two nausea?

  • ||

    It's 2.27 minutes that you will watch again and again, as every frame is filled with more weird, wild, and wonderful shit than the cover of Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy.


    I wasted a hit of acid trying to trip out on this, it was just boring. I know it takes great effort getting worked up about nothing, but you have to try harder than this.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Somehow, this got "Dark as a Dungeon" stuck in my head.

    RACIST!

  • Atanarjuat||

    Is this about butt sex?

    That was my first thought too, before I even realized it was an Elton John album. Incidentally, the t-shirt from his latest tour (I work at a concert arena) is based on the same art work - much simpler, but he's still riding a piano with swallows flying around everywhere.

  • ||

    Is this about butt sex?

    That was my first thought too, before I even realized it was an Elton John album.


    So then, yes?

  • Joel||

    Okay, I guess I'll have to be the one.

    I bow to no one in the vastness and virulence of my dislike for Obama et al, but really don't get what's so world-endingly terrible about this particular video.

  • Abdul||

    I still fondly remember the Bush easter egg hunts, where kids would just hold the Bunny in a stress position until he told them where the eggs were.

  • Franklin Harris||

    Usually I appreciate a random James Cromwell cameo. Today it just makes me sad.



    Besides, isn't Christopher Walken supposed to be the one reading "Goodnight Moon"?

  • Fred||

    I think Gillespie was just referring to how stupid and boring it really was.

    The part about propaganda films being "Einsteinian" in comparison was metaphor, people.

  • Fred||

    See, BECAUSE Obama is so hip, and there are so many tech people, how could they release something so dumb?

    Get it now? Or shall I read you all more about it from a book on the easter bunny?

  • ||

    Abdul FTW!

  • Imperial Purple||

    The crotch scratching sure is funny.

  • ||

    The crotch scratching sure is funny.

    Racist. Everyone knows monkeys scratch. You are calling Obama a monkey. Everyone knows this racist dogwhistle when they hear it!

  • PETE||

    Always nice to see NG putting that English Ph.D. to good use.

    Yeah, I mean, I was definitely under the impression somehow that Obama's campaign/administration was the most tech-savvy ever, but after watching this 2-minute video, I realize just how wrong I was. Luddites all, these Obamabots.

    Now, you have to be careful, because one's first inclination might be to cast aspersions on Obama's PR operation, perhaps the same office responsible for giving NYC a buzzcut with AF1.

    But it takes a truly discerning eye such as Nick's to realize that, really, the release of such a piece of shit video (how they managed to transfer it from a series of daguerreotypes to youtube will always remain a mystery) is all the evidence one needs to seem though BHO's stained glass of deceit to the chapel of truth! Which is that is campaign and administration is filled with a bunch of arthritic octogenarians whose idea of the information superhighway is the printing press making their cherished incunabula obsolete! It's just a good thing they has so many jars of pennies laying around their assisted living homes to buy him some ad time on the ol' Silvertone!



    Agreed on the $540 shoes though.

  • Joel||

    Fred | May 28, 2009, 12:24pm | #
    See, BECAUSE Obama is so hip, and there are so many tech people, how could they release something so dumb?

    Get it now? Or shall I read you all more about it from a book on the easter bunny?


    Uh...no. No, thanks. I get it now. Really. (backs slowly away, inconspicuously reaches for holster...)

  • ||

    All I want to know is, what the hell is up with the Zardos references?

    Zardoz is a seriously fucked up movie that deserves appreciation. John Boorman, dude. John Boorman, Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling...you can't beat that shit with a stick.

  • JLM||

    Re: Zardos

    I never heard of it until Gillespie mentioned it in one of his rants a few weeks ago. I guess I'll have to watch it sometime.

  • JLM||

    Err, ZardoZ- I mispelled it twice.

  • hmm||

    He even rockin the Kim Jong Il members only jacket.

    Goebbels would be proud.

    Godwin's law in less than 40 pots.

  • ||

    More egg hunts and book readings. Less car company purchases.

  • CraftyJack||

    I don't get it. The Easter Bunny goes and lays magic eggs for the children of the world, and what does he get out of it? Are we really spending the two most sacred holidays of the year training our children to expect hand-outs?

  • Sean W. Malone||

    Fred: That was Eisensteinian, not "Einsteinian"... Different people.

  • ||

    Abdul | May 28, 2009, 12:21pm | #
    --I still fondly remember the Bush easter egg hunts, where kids would just hold the Bunny in a stress position until he told them where the eggs were.--

    Yes, but the candy eggs were only found after establishing a rapport with the rabbit which involved a new hutch and organic carrots.

  • ||

    What is wrong with you? This is as "normal" as an event like this can be, given the location... Are you so far out of the mainstream you apparently have no idea how ridiculous you sound to probably 85% of Americans? That you're picking on something as silly as this shows much more about you than it does about the president.

  • Atanarjuat||

    Is this about butt sex?

    That was my first thought too, before I even realized it was an Elton John album.

    So then, yes?



    My guess is yes, making Elton John the forefather of Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water.

  • ||

    The Mitchell Brothers. Awesome.

  • ||

    Why am I reminded of Burning Man? & forget James Cromwell, I'd been wondering for years whatever happened to Daniel Stern!

  • ||

    You guys obviously haven't spent a lot of time with young kids. For better and worse, this kind of thing is every day and again forever... when you are blessed with little ones.

  • ||

    Why make the kids search for the eggs? Let's just waterboard the damn rabbit?

  • ||

    Wow, look at all the cool kids making fun of the family event.
    For real, does that make you feel better about your lives? geesh

  • ||

    Meh. This is inane and banal, but all it really shows is that Obama seeks to be all things to all people.. you know, LIKE EVERY OTHER POLITICIAN WHO EVER LIVED, in stark contrast to the impression of him his acolytes hold.

    Oh, and CraftyJack, I assume, by "sacred," you mean "fairy-tale bullshit whose date is ripped off from pagan fairy-tale bullshit."

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