The CDC Takes Passive-Aggression to New Levels

Katherine Mangu-Ward | May 12, 2009

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) are here for you, America. Got a vaguely health-related complaint against your neighbors or friends? Fearing contagion from a pandemic flu, but don't know how to bring up the subject with your coughing co-worker? Look no further. Direct from the CDC website, health ecards, with informative messages and web addresses inside:

Worried you gave someone syphilis? Say it with an ecard!:

Dirty ragamuffins in the neighborhood? Ecard!:

Annoyingly loud generator? Send an ecard!:

Obviously, there's the your-tax-dollars-at-work angle here. But maybe this really is a gap, a place where only government-funded groups can effectively step in a provide this valuable defense of the public's health. Well, let's take a look at a side-by-side comparison of the private and public versions of the same ecard message.

Private sector:

Public sector:

Your call.

Comments

Jeff P|5.12.09 @ 4:27PM|#

If H&R ever had a rationale for a Photoshop contest, this is it...

|5.12.09 @ 4:29PM|#

Is there one for:

MIND YOUR OWN F^%#&@G BUSINESS!

?

Jeff P|5.12.09 @ 4:30PM|#

Outside:
Your perseverence practicing the electric bass is nothing short of heroic.

Inside: But white people have no rhythm. There is no shame in this. Or in wearing headphones. Noise pollution affects everyone.

Jeff P|5.12.09 @ 4:32PM|#

Sometimes it's obvious when a child needs a severe beating...

hmm|5.12.09 @ 4:35PM|#

Is this one relative to genital herpes? If not it needs to be.
For those of us that have it?

ed|5.12.09 @ 4:36PM|#

Fearing contagion from a pandemic flu?

Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Shouldn't I be dead by now?
But wait: that was last week. Carry on.

hmm |5.12.09 @ 4:37PM|#

There should be one for fire hosing kids to clean them.

photoshoped onto this.

hmm|5.12.09 @ 4:40PM|#

Damn not having photoshop on the laptop. Damn it to hell!!!!

JP|5.12.09 @ 4:45PM|#

[Checks calendar. No, it's not April 1.]

Hammered Head|5.12.09 @ 4:45PM|#

I feel left out, nothing on excessive drinking for those not pregnant. Of course there may be one and I just can't remember it.

This is some of the best work that I have seen from the government. If my tax money must be wasted please direct my share to this and NASA.

hmm|5.12.09 @ 4:49PM|#

this is a treasure trove of stupid

If H&R ever had a rationale for a Photoshop contest, this is it...

I couldn't agree more.

hmm|5.12.09 @ 4:51PM|#

...and line dancing in the middle of a field tripping their asses off on shrooms!!!

hmm|5.12.09 @ 4:53PM|#

How's your asshole feel? Our feels GREAT!!

hmm|5.12.09 @ 4:56PM|#

Climate change, even the rocks are effected. Think of the poor rocks.

hmm|5.12.09 @ 4:57PM|#

Oh god too many.

hmm|5.12.09 @ 5:00PM|#

replace the woman with Geitner and replace shift with shit.

|5.12.09 @ 5:06PM|#

Currently, in our restroom is a color poster from the campus "Handwashing Coalition" about lathering up before you go out (and YES, you should, but damn)

NH|5.12.09 @ 5:08PM|#

"In College they teach us to wash our hands"

"Yeah, well at home they teach us not to piss on ourselves."

|5.12.09 @ 5:42PM|#

While I do appreciate the subtlety of the Evil Government card, the panache of the someecard really resonates with me...

|5.12.09 @ 5:44PM|#

I don't get why you're expected to wash your hands after using one of those motion-detector bathrooms where you don't actually touch anything. What used to be a public health necessity has become a collective OCD.

|5.12.09 @ 5:49PM|#

Actually, not washing your hands is like war, it might benefit the overall public health through natural selection if the ones who have it on their hands were the only ones to die.

|5.12.09 @ 6:17PM|#

Well, at least they haven't decided to require a permit before going to work.

Instead we just get annoying messages from busy bodies who feel that my existence is an imposition on their lives.

|5.12.09 @ 6:41PM|#

You'd be surprised how quickly unruly, rude, and dangerous neighbors (assuming they can read) respond when something comes from the government. Nothing like the threat of eviction (tenants) or a fine (landlords) to stop loud parties, window-sill crack sales, derelict vehicles and - ahem - overcrowded, illegal occupants.

Jeff P|5.12.09 @ 8:01PM|#

Lines in need of e-cards
"The voices are back, aren't they?"
"Some races are just unclean."
"You know what you need? Cock."
"Be patient. The sweet release of death is coming."

LarryA|5.12.09 @ 8:51PM|#

What?

Sorry. Flashing back to "Loose lips sink ships."

hmm|5.12.09 @ 8:58PM|#

You'd be surprised how quickly unruly, rude, and dangerous neighbors (assuming they can read) respond when something comes from the government. Nothing like the threat of eviction (tenants) or a fine (landlords) to stop loud parties, window-sill crack sales, derelict vehicles and - ahem - overcrowded, illegal occupants.

Or you could man up and go talk to them instead of hiding behind the skirt of the nanny state. Or settle the problem in civil litigation and not have some asinine rule on the books just waiting to be abused.

John Tagliaferro|5.12.09 @ 9:26PM|#

Not one for "I am just not into you?"

I am so disappointed with my government. Anybody have one from a commercial source?