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Rent-a-Judge
I love my job. I opened up my email just now and found this press release:
[RENT-A-JUDGE] is designed to cut through bureaucratic procedures and eliminate unnecessary legal wrangling. With RENT-A-JUDGE's approach, each party focuses on the core issues of their case and submits a fixed number of pages of documents to prepare for the one-day hearing, which starts at 9 a.m. and ends at 6 p.m. Presided over by a seasoned attorney with at least 20 years of experience, the hearing culminates in a written, reasoned opinion from RENT-A-JUDGE within five business days. The price is a fixed $10,000 per case, with the plaintiff and the defendant each paying $5,000 of the fee. The process is non-binding, unless both parties agree in advance to make it binding.
This might sound ridiculous, but is actually a great idea. It's competition for a pretty confusing (and often confused) judicial system that frequently fails to meet the needs of many of its users. In cases where both parties want speedy resolution, private arbitration has long been an option. Rent-a-Judge simply refines that concept further, putting a slightly silly advertising campaign on a product that could pretty obviously be useful in certain kinds of cases.
This won't be the right mode of arbitration for complex legal questions involving many players and multiple jurisdictions. But it's fast, it's cheap, and even though somebody loses—everybody wins.
Taktix®|1.14.09 @ 4:14PM|#
I wonder how long things like Rent-A-Judge will last before the
existing legal system decides this cuts into their
prominence.
"Hey, you're makin' us look bad ova' here."
|1.14.09 @ 4:18PM|#
It will be shut down, it is an affront to our current legal
system, so it's probably illegal. Like this
The process is non-binding, unless both parties agree in
advance to make it binding.
How do they have legal authority to make it binding? It doesn't
seem right to take this serious of a responsibility away from the
government.
Joshua Holmes|1.14.09 @ 4:21PM|#
How do they have legal authority to make it
binding?
They sign a contract where both sides wave their right to sue in
court.
|1.14.09 @ 4:37PM|#
Hate to rain on the "government ruins everything" parade, but nearly every jurisdiction in the country already offers this, typically ranging in cost from anywhere from free for small claims courts to a couple hundred bucks for more specialized claims. You take a 50 hour class in mediation, get a certificate, and go to the court house on a specified date, and you're a mediatior, which means that you do just exactly what these lawyers are doing, usually for about 50 bucks a case. I got certified as part of my MS in dispute resolution. It's mostly semi-retired lawyers looking to keep their skills sharp and younger mediators looking to get some experience on the cheap and easy. And I daresay it works about as well as the above service would.
|1.14.09 @ 4:39PM|#
I should add, typically with the exception of rendering judgment, which the mediator is not actually there to do. The idea is to facilitate the process to the point where the two parties can come to an agreement. Which is not actually as difficult as it sounds, once you know how it's done.
Guy Montag|1.14.09 @ 4:40PM|#
I wonder how long things like Rent-A-Judge will last before
the existing legal system decides this cuts into their
prominence.
You beat me to it.
Shem,
If you had a better marketing plan you could have been making
$10,000/case instead of $50 :)
|1.14.09 @ 4:42PM|#
It isn't illegal. It's your basic arbitration/mediation firm with a marketing twist. And is it me, or is that the most expensive arbitration/mediation firm you've ever seen. $10,000 per case (one day only)? Assuming 8 hours of mediation, plus, say, three hours to write an opinion, and we're talking close to $1,000 per hour. Holy moly!
|1.14.09 @ 4:58PM|#
Crap! Ricardo Montalban has died, too! What is this, Kill Off Actors Pro Libertate Likes Day?
Guy Montag|1.14.09 @ 4:59PM|#
Assuming 8 hours of mediation, plus, say, three hours to
write an opinion, and we're talking close to $1,000 per
hour.
[lights Cuban cigar with $100 bill while polishing monocle AND
adjusting top hat]
I ain't takin' a pay cut for a crap job like that.
|1.14.09 @ 5:00PM|#
The Rent a Judge thing confuses me.
They use a low rent name like that then want 10g?
|1.14.09 @ 5:01PM|#
Sounds like someone invented fixed-price arbitration. I wonder
how it compares to the typical costs of going through the American
Arbitration Association.
-jcr
The Extispicator|1.14.09 @ 5:02PM|#
Yes, this is just like current mediation/arbitration. I guess the high price tag is so that your arbitrator actually puts out a decision quickly instead of making you wait for two months.
Elemenope|1.14.09 @ 5:19PM|#
Crap! Ricardo Montalban has died, too! What is this, Kill
Off Actors Pro Libertate Likes Day?
WTF!
KHAAAAAAAAN!
Urkobold™|1.14.09 @ 5:23PM|#
THE URKOBOLD IS DISPLEASED. HIS PLANS TO MATE
RICARDO MONTALBAN AND SALMA HAYEK, IN ORDER TO BREED THE PERFECT
MEXICAN ACTOR, HAVE RECEIVED A SIGNIFICANT SETBACK.
|1.14.09 @ 5:27PM|#
Just thinking out loud here, but why not Rent-a-Judgment? Instead of all of the cost in time and money in going through protracted arbitration, why not just pay, say, me to judge you? Sum up your side in five minutes, give me a few pages of evidence, ditto the other side, and I'll come to a snap conclusion within thirty minutes. That includes the ten minutes of argument. For the low, low price of $1,000!
|1.14.09 @ 6:28PM|#
Ignore Silentz. Go with the licensed attorney, and the one with the better blog commenter cognomen.
|1.14.09 @ 8:03PM|#
THE URKOBOLD IS DISPLEASED. HIS PLANS TO MATE
RICARDO MONTALBAN AND SALMA HAYEK, IN ORDER TO BREED THE PERFECT
MEXICAN ACTOR, HAVE RECEIVED A SIGNIFICANT SETBACK.
Out of my keenly honed sense of duty and sacrifice, I will
volunteer to stand in for Mr. Montalban. I can pretend to be
Mexican for a few hours. Or days.
Naga Sadow|1.14.09 @ 8:14PM|#
Pro Liberate,
I'm beginning to think you are a licensed attorney. Picking on the
little guy, huh?
cuernimus|1.14.09 @ 9:13PM|#
THE URKOBOLD IS DISPLEASED. HIS PLANS TO MATE
RICARDO MONTALBAN AND SALMA HAYEK, IN ORDER TO BREED THE PERFECT MEXICAN ACTOR, HAVE RECEIVED A SIGNIFICANT SETBACK.
Trying to act on the same stage as a man with the voice of Ricardo
Montalban and the breasts of Salma Hayek would be like trying to
have sex surrounded by aroused male elephants.
|1.14.09 @ 11:59PM|#
Out of my keenly honed sense of duty and sacrifice, I will
volunteer to stand in for Mr. Montalban. I can pretend to be
Mexican for a few hours. Or days.
Bah. I can put in a much better offer. I'm actually a quarter
Mexican, and, trust me, with Ms. Hayak I wouldn't take more than
five minutes, tops.
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