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Why Can't We Be More Like Tatarstan?
Over at The Huffington Post, Northeastern University Law Professor Roger I. Abrams, who is probably some kind of Red Sox fan, comes up with the most asinine non-bailout public policy proposal you'll hear all day, riffing from the apparently untenable system the National Collegiate Athletic Association has for determining its champion football team, and a jokey statement from Barack Obama about this important national issue.
Of course, all other NCAA championship finalists in all other sports are determined by playoffs, but the defenders of the status quo fear the loss of collegiate glory for the many teams that can play in the "Corporate-Sponsored Bowl." Those lesser bowls actually cost colleges money after they cover expenses, money that is in short supply these days. I will leave the merits of the two conflicting approaches for a later discussion. But the Obama comment raises a more fundamental question: what might the President-Elect do to make sure someone in the federal government is responsible for national policy on, and coordination of, athletics and sports?
I propose we create a Department of Sport. Admittedly, this is not a unique idea. Most countries have a Ministry of Sports with responsibility for fostering physical education, developing amateur athletics and monitoring the businesses of professional sports.
Hmmm, let's see what well-governed, freedom-loving sports
powerhouses come up first in a Google search on "Ministry
of Sports"!
1)
India
2) Tatarstan
(pictured)
3)
Guyana
4)
Cameroon
5) Belarus
[pdf]
6)
Pakistan
7)
Oman
8) Malaysia
9)
Oman, again
10) Rwanda
So what's the rationale?
Obviously, placing the portfolio for athletics and professional sports in a single governmental entity would allow for some rational oversight. Under the current system of non-oversight, athletics have been driven purely by the profit motive.
Obviously! And as a result of this glaring lack, we continue to
muddle through with the world's most entertaining and
highest-quality competition in baseball, basketball, American-rules
football, hockey, track and field, the gorgeous ladies of
wrestling, and on and on. Not only has the profit motive
improved said competition, the competitors themselves, once they
were allowed to earn the fruits of their labors (much to the
chagrin of those who prefer sporting indentured servitude in "pure"
fields of play such as Cuba) then
encouraged the rest of us to let our freak flags
fly.
Best part of Professor Abrams' proposal?
I must admit a personal interest in this new Department of Sport since I would be more than willing to serve as its first Secretary.
sage|12.12.08 @ 4:23PM|#
The guy in the picture has loved sports since he was a tot. But he was too puny to actually play. So he wanted to be in the Ministry of Sports of Tatarstan. You could say he was a Tatar-Tot.
|12.12.08 @ 4:25PM|#
I must admit a personal interest in this new Department of Sport since I would be more than willing to serve as its first Secretary.
I can understand that sentiment. I feel much the same way about the Censor. I'd love to go first, removing politicians on a daily basis much the way some people eat popcorn.
|12.12.08 @ 4:26PM|#
Can I raise a practical question at this point? When did GLOW switch from the Glamorous Ladies of Wrestling to the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling?
|12.12.08 @ 4:29PM|#
I must admit a personal interest in this new Department of
Sport since I would be more than willing to serve as its first
Secretary. But even if our new President were to select someone
else to lead DOS, it would be a worthy effort to provide a federal
presence on these matters that affect so much of our
lives.
You should put the whole quote in Matt. It makes it much
worse.
What a complete tool.
|12.12.08 @ 4:48PM|#
So is the plan to have czars for each field of human endeavor? If so, I'd like to be Manned Spaceflight Czar. Is that still available?
Kunal|12.12.08 @ 4:48PM|#
We've had a Ministry of Sports in India for a very long time (ever since Independence, I think). So far in the entire history of the Olympics since 1947, India has had less medals than Michael Phelps won individually. So yeah, its been working well for us. Excellent use of public money.
|12.12.08 @ 5:02PM|#
Hello, is this thing on?
(pegs sage in nuts with a volleyball for making such an awful
pun)
GREENMAN
|12.12.08 @ 5:02PM|#
Great. So let's model our sports czar after India's Minister of Sports. Obviously, calling our guy the czar will make it work for us where it failed for our Indian friends.
|12.12.08 @ 5:08PM|#
Can I be Women's Volleyball Czar? I'd also be willing to accept the positions of Women's Breaststroke Czar, Slow-Motion Women's Diving Czar, and Women's Softball Played in the Rain Czar.
|12.12.08 @ 5:23PM|#
In America, you draft Roger Adams as Sport Czar.
I pre-Soviet Russia, Czar drafts you!
cunnivore|12.12.08 @ 5:26PM|#
I like how he contrasts rationality with the profit motive, as
if once money enters human affairs, reason is thrown to the four
winds.
I wonder why he chooses to be a law professor, rather than working
at 7-11. I'm sure there's some rational explanation.
|12.12.08 @ 5:31PM|#
"""I must admit a personal interest in this new Department of
Sport since I would be more than willing to serve as its first
Secretary."""
Just another moron looking to suck the government's teat.
|12.12.08 @ 5:42PM|#
.. Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand and Canada. Ie. the
other major English speaking democracies.
I agree that there is no need. But most other countries do actually
have a minister for sport.
|12.12.08 @ 5:45PM|#
BTW, in a world where Derek Jeter chooses freakin' Madonna, a Sports Czar is desperately needed.
dfd|12.12.08 @ 5:50PM|#
Porn Czar.
Heh. Why not? His inane statement works just as well for
that:
Obviously, placing the portfolio for amateur and professional porn in a single governmental entity would allow for some rational oversight. Under the current system of non-oversight, porn has been driven purely by the profit motive
Of course:
I must admit a personal interest in this new Department of Porn since I would be more than willing to serve as its first Secretary.
|12.12.08 @ 5:52PM|#
And the Porn Czar could do us a great service by identifying what is good, wholesome porn and what is godless obscenity.
|12.12.08 @ 5:53PM|#
Meet the
Czarina of Sport (en France)
...Right Hon. Czar of
Sport (UK)
...Kaiser
of Sport (Germany)
A-Rod|12.12.08 @ 5:56PM|#
in a world where Derek Jeter chooses freakin'
Madonna,
What? That bastard! I thought he was my friend!
|12.12.08 @ 6:02PM|#
Sorry, highnumber, but the president saw your poor attempt at a pun and named you Tea Czar in a press release several seconds ago. He'd like you to meet with him in DC to discuss the green tea gap next week and to brief the transition team on the Oolong menace.
|12.12.08 @ 6:09PM|#
Commie-czar of
Sport (China) [pun intended]
Did they "win" the Olympics? I never was quite clear on that.
T|12.12.08 @ 6:10PM|#
Sorry, highnumber, but the president saw your poor attempt
at a pun and named you Tea Czar in a press release several seconds
ago. He'd like you to meet with him in DC to discuss the green tea
gap next week and to brief the transition team on the Oolong
menace.
Just remember, hn, that tea czar position is worthless, so if he
wants to give it to you, he's gonna have to come up with
something.
db|12.12.08 @ 6:18PM|#
So is the plan to have czars for each field of human
endeavor? If so, I'd like to be Manned Spaceflight Czar. Is that
still available?
I call Masturbation Czar. What's that? Already taken? Oh, yeah,
"overlap of duties" with all the others.
db|12.12.08 @ 6:20PM|#
Just remember, hn, that tea czar position is worthless, so
if he wants to give it to you, he's gonna have to come up with
something.
Well, FUCK THEM!
|12.12.08 @ 7:37PM|#
We need a Manhattan Project for Czars.
Two guesses whom I consider most qualified to run it. The bidding
is now open.
ed|12.12.08 @ 7:49PM|#
"the apparently untenable system the National Collegiate
Athletic Association has for determining its champion football
team"
Sounds familiar...
ed | December 12, 2008, 8:10am | #
I caught part of ESPN's
Outside The Lines yesterday afternoon, wherein Rep. Barton
literally engaged in extortion tactics with his foe from the other
side. He very calmly stated that a bill had been introduced, and
that college football had till 2011 to "act" on a playoff scheme.
He didn't actually say "Or else", or "It would be a shame if
something were to happen to your BCS", but the threat was
implied.
TBOR|12.13.08 @ 2:13AM|#
Good points, but Tatarstan is not a country - it's a part of Russia. But you can substitute Russia for it, because Russia also has a sports ministry.
|12.13.08 @ 2:32AM|#
And as a result of this glaring lack, we continue to muddle
through with the world's most entertaining and
highest-quality competition in
baseball[...]
There's something woring with this sentence.
|12.13.08 @ 12:45PM|#
Great. So let's model our sports czar after India's Minister
of Sports. Obviously, calling our guy the czar will make it work
for us where it failed for our Indian friends.
If we're making India the model, I'd think it would be sports
maharajah rather than a sports czar.
Hacha Cha|12.14.08 @ 1:40AM|#
all that is needed is a new private organization to brings a system that invites teams to a playoff and they can choose to accept the invitation or go to a bowl game. the BCS is a private organization and the polls are private too. not all polls crown the same national champion and some are contractually obligated to vote the winner of the bcs championship number one. if a playoff organization started and got acceptance which I believe then only teams which had no shot at the national title would accept a bowl invitation. or they could just fucking give in and turn it into a playoff system where each playoff game could be a "bowl" game.
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