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And a Chihuahua Shall Lead Us...
Wall
Street (and the world) respond to the
(unnecessary/overwrought/misguided/you
name it) bailout with a shoulder shrug:
Wall Street looked to continue the volatility of last week when trading resumed Monday. Stock index futures declined by more than 1 percent late Sunday, pointing to a lower open. Dow Jones industrial average futures fell 176, or 1.70 percent, to 10,188. Standard & Poor's 500 index fell 19.3, or 1.74 percent, to 1,089.00, while Nasdaq 100 futures fell 20.25, or 1.37 percent, to 1,457.25.
Meanwhile, ordinary Americans, good, hard-working Americans with cloth coats and 2.3 cars in every pot, spent the weekend doing what they do best. Which is spending money on the things that really matter to them:
"Beverly Hills Chihuahua" was barking up the right tree with movie-goers, who put the Disney comedy at No. 1 for the weekend with a $29 million debut, according to studio estimates Sunday.
Featuring a talking Chihuahua with Drew Barrymore's voice, the family flick about a pampered pooch lost in Mexico led a surge of new movies that boosted Hollywood business, which generally has slumped the last two months.
The top-12 movies hauled in $95.4 million, up 42 percent from the same weekend a year ago, when "The Game Plan" was No. 1 with $16.6 million.
If you haven't read the reason classic "In Praise of Vulgarity: How commercial culture liberates Islam—and the West," you should do so now.
|10.6.08 @ 9:04AM|#
If movies this stunningly bad get made, can you imagine what the
reject pile looks like?
"A talking pile of shit (Ben Stiller) and a run-away vagina (Leslie
Mann) go on the run from anti-viral goons in a unlikely romance
sure to give you cholera"
ed|10.6.08 @ 9:04AM|#
Meanwhile, ordinary Americans spent the weekend doing what
they do best
Betting on football?
|10.6.08 @ 9:16AM|#
If movies this stunningly bad get made, can you imagine what
the reject pile looks like?
Actually, NutraSweet, I bet the reject pile is loaded with stuff
better than this. How could it not be?
But the thing is, it is making money. So in a business sense,
whoever greenlit this made the right choice. You can't fault them
for making money.
|10.6.08 @ 9:18AM|#
"A talking pile of shit (Ben Stiller) and a run-away vagina
(Leslie Mann) go on the run from anti-viral goons in a unlikely
romance sure to give you cholera"
"Adam Sandler is a guy, and he, uh, falls in love with a girl, but
it turns out that she's a golden retriever."
|10.6.08 @ 9:22AM|#
You can't fault them for making money.
But I can fault them for not making money in a more respectable
way. They could be a $2 dollar street whore, for example.
|10.6.08 @ 9:24AM|#
When describing a shitty movie, you rarely have to go past: Adam Sandler is ______.
|10.6.08 @ 9:25AM|#
Movie theaters are raking it in? That's interesting. All the
indicators I've been looking at over the past few weeks show
spending on non essentials is way off.
Great Depression II - Revenge of the Joads
Coming to you.
|10.6.08 @ 9:30AM|#
When describing a shitty movie, you rarely have to go past:
Adam Sandler is ______.
True that. Even so, it's a much better start than Ben Stiller
is ______
|10.6.08 @ 9:32AM|#
"Uh, Adam Sandler is a guy who falls in love with a
table."
"Genius! We'll call it Table of Contents. God, is there
anything that this thing can't do?"
"Movie idea number 2305. Adam Sandler is trapped on an island and
he falls in love with a coconut."
Fido Santorum (L-PA)|10.6.08 @ 9:47AM|#
Adam Sandler is a guy, and he, uh, falls in love with a
girl, but it turns out that she's a golden retriever.
that would be a documentary, not a movie
|10.6.08 @ 9:53AM|#
Adam Sandler is a guy, and he, uh, falls in love with a
girl, but it turns out that she's a golden retriever.
On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog.
|10.6.08 @ 10:02AM|#
bane,
It was just presented as something that they wouldn't like. And
pitch is not the same thing as a trailer or teaser. :-P
Although, I do remember a trailer that did rattle off a bunch of
names and then punchline with "...are not in this movie!"
Anyone got an idea? Drawing a blank.
Do you still beat your movie?|10.6.08 @ 10:08AM|#
movies this stunningly bad
Have you seen it? If not, how do you know? If you have...
Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
|10.6.08 @ 10:10AM|#
Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
If you've never had the Ebola virus, how can you say you wouldn't
enjoy it?
|10.6.08 @ 10:14AM|#
44% on Rotten Tomatoes
Imagine if they were grading on the "two hours you don't have to
listen to your annoying kid" curve. Some critics give a kids-movies
the thumbs up if it doesn't strike you blind within the first
half-hour.
|10.6.08 @ 10:18AM|#
Live action movies with talking animals are an abomination. If I weren't a libertarian I'd call for the immediate culling of all people who wrote, greenlit, directed, or produced such a screenplay.
|10.6.08 @ 10:24AM|#
Episiarch, do you favor an exemption for those who just slather peanut butter in the animals' mouths to make it look like they're talking? Cause that was just funny, whereas doing it with CGI is massively creepy to watch.
|10.6.08 @ 10:26AM|#
I make no exceptions, and if the movie involves talking chimpanzees than I would suggest torture for those responsible as well.
|10.6.08 @ 10:50AM|#
Hollywood got none of my $ this weekend. OKTOBERFEST DOOOD!!
Well, the great plains version. Picture it in your mind. Fence off
10 or so acres in the local park.
For the children: a bunch of shitty inflatable obstacle courses,
cheap trinket stands, hay rides, etc.
For the adults: Picnic tables, oom-pah bands, bingo,
weinerschnitzel, bratwurst, all the Beck's and Weitzenbier you can
tolerate at $11/pitcher, free rides home by the local constabulary
if you don't metabolize ETOH efficiently enough.
Wind up, and let the shit commence for 12 hours or so. DAS BOOT,
DAS BOOT, DAS BOOT!
|10.6.08 @ 11:02AM|#
If movies this stunningly bad get made, can you imagine what
the reject pile looks like?
"This poorly rendered 3D animated movie features the vocal talents
of Steve Buscemi as a horny giraffe who got lost while being
transported to a new zoo facility for giraffes in Zurich. Follow
this tale of a giraffe who can't control his urges and gets himself
in hilarious trouble as he travels through the slovakian
language-speaking countries in search of his Swiss paradise. This
is - HOSTEL 3!"
Dagny T.|10.6.08 @ 11:12AM|#
if the movie involves talking chimpanzees than I would
suggest torture for those responsible as well.
And a special circle of hell is reserved for the perpetrators of
movies where the chimpanzee smokes, steals, wears human clothing,
or operates heavy machinery.
|10.6.08 @ 11:17AM|#
DAGNY IS A SPECIEIST!! THE HORROR! How dare you try and deprive a chimp the opportunity to move up the evolutionary scale. ;-)
kinnath|10.6.08 @ 11:19AM|#
Live action movies with talking animals are an
abomination.
Babe & Babe 2: Pig in the City.
However, that is the some total of all good talking animal
flicks.
economist|10.6.08 @ 11:32AM|#
Wow, this is a one-two punch. Bailout + Shitty movie. But at least the movie doesn't force everyone to pay for it, only the dolts who would actually watch that piece of shit.
|10.6.08 @ 11:35AM|#
Episiarch | October 6, 2008, 10:26am | #
I make no exceptions, and if the movie involves talking chimpanzees than I would suggest torture for those responsible as well.
What about those sadistic bastards that made those dogs play poker
and smoke ceegars?
kinnath|10.6.08 @ 11:36AM|#
Sugar-Free animated doesn't count.
The issue was live-action, talking animal films.
|10.6.08 @ 11:39AM|#
kinnath,
OK, fair enough. Although the new re-make is supposed to be live
action. I doubt they'll pull it off, though.
I'm more amazed that you had never heard of Animal Farm,
but you are probably just winding me up.
economist|10.6.08 @ 11:41AM|#
I just hate chihuahuas. They look like a cross between a mutant runt dog and a mutant giant rat.
|10.6.08 @ 11:43AM|#
eco,
They are also one of those breeds that look like they have
something sticky coming out of their eyes all the time.
kinnath|10.6.08 @ 11:46AM|#
I'm more amazed that you had never heard of Animal Farm, . .
.
I a aware of the book, but did not know about the 50-year-old
animated version.
|10.6.08 @ 11:46AM|#
And a special circle of hell is reserved for the
perpetrators of movies where the chimpanzee smokes, steals, wears
human clothing, or operates heavy machinery.
While talking? KILL KILL KILL KILL
Babe & Babe 2: Pig in the City.
I was waiting for someone to say that. The only reason that these
are passable is that George Miller was responsible for them. Yes,
the George Miller that directed all three Mad Max
movies.
kinnath|10.6.08 @ 11:50AM|#
I saw an interview with Jame Cromwell after he won the Oscar. He said he read the script and there weren't a lot of lines, but thought it could be interesting. He also said he got the Oscar because they couldn't figure out how to give one to the pig.
|10.6.08 @ 11:51AM|#
but did not know about the 50-year-old animated
version
It's actually pretty good. It hits the anti-communist gong a little
hard compared the book's focus on the corruption by power of all
revolutionaries. It looks a lot like Fleisher's Superman
cartoons.
kinnath|10.6.08 @ 12:00PM|#
Yes, the George Miller that directed all three Mad Max
movies.
Didn't know that connection. But that explains Pig in the City.
|10.6.08 @ 12:03PM|#
Mad Max 4: Fury Road is in pre-production. Hopefully it won't suck as hard as Thunderdome.
|10.6.08 @ 12:16PM|#
MMBT has the benefit of being like high school. You forget the
boring parts and the good parts are magnified with time and
distance. For every minute of chainsaws on bungee cords there's
five minutes of kids talking in a "cute" made-up-language. It's
like Riddley Walker with a lobotomy.
It's the Return of the Jedi of the trilogy. Mostly good,
but ruined in the end to appeal to kids.
Kolohe|10.6.08 @ 12:16PM|#
if the movie involves talking chimpanzees than I would
suggest torture for those responsible as well.
No love for Lancelot Link? That was one of my favorites (when I was
7.) And like most things of that era, I presume my demographic got
it on the air, but the stoner demographic *kept* it on the air.
Kolohe|10.6.08 @ 12:21PM|#
Mad Max 4: Fury Road
Based on the topics in this thread, I first read that as
furry road.
|10.6.08 @ 12:24PM|#
DAGNY IS A SPECIEIST!! THE HORROR! How dare you try and
deprive a chimp the opportunity to move up the evolutionary scale.
;-)
Was it here that I read about Spain moving to extend certain human
rights to primates?
Also, I am a strategic speciesist. I tactfully avoid mentioning it
when said primates are present, and then discriminate against them
later!
|10.6.08 @ 12:56PM|#
Wrong again, Episiarch! Planet of the Apes! With
talking chimpanzees!
May the Heston forgive you.
|10.6.08 @ 1:07PM|#
Heston won't notice for a while. Him and that hippie Newman will be slugging it out for a few more days at least.
|10.6.08 @ 1:21PM|#
Don't make me come down to Florida and explain the difference between a chimp with peanut butter in its mouth and Roddy McDowell in a mask. I'll bring my shotgun for extra emphasis.
|10.6.08 @ 1:26PM|#
Puh-lease. You did not say chimpanzee actors; you said
chimpanzees. My primate seconds will throw defecation at your
primate seconds.
Heston damn you! Heston damn you to Heston hell!*
* Heston hell involves racing a chariot and getting dragged by it
and run over by other chariots--over and over again.
|10.6.08 @ 3:26PM|#
They probably can't do the peanut butter in the mouth trick anymore because of some accursed animal rights group. How I miss the old days! I was just watching The Wicker Man (original version) the other day, and they must have actually been burning real goats to get some of the audio. Them were the days.
Mike Laursen|10.6.08 @ 3:53PM|#
Well, technically, Paulson hasn't spent any of the money yet. The big recovery will come just as soon as he starts handing out checks. By the way, if this was so damned urgent, why wasn't he buying up assets all weekend?
|10.6.08 @ 3:56PM|#
they must have actually been burning real goats
I could really go for some cabrito for dinner tonight.
|10.6.08 @ 5:52PM|#
Sugar Free "But I can fault them for not making money in a more
respectable way. They could be a $2 dollar street whore, for
example."
You know, that 2$ whore is someone's Mom, and that child probably
crys to hear their mon compared with a Hollywood producer, the
vileyest creature in the universe.
"Vileyer than a Klingon douche flea?"
Yeah. Much.
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