"I'm Joe Biden and I Disapprove of Barack Obama Approving That Ad About McCain Being Too Old..."

The Barack Obama campaign released this pretty good ad, "Still," mocking John McCain for being old and out of it. It showcases, in political ad-ese, that the Arizona straight-talker can't send emails and wore really awful (read: totally popular) eyeglasses in the 1980s, and sometimes rides around on golf carts like a...a...70-year-old man and, worst of all, pals around with President George W. Bush.

Here's the ad, which has all the punch of a late-round Gerry Cooney (and I don't mean that in a bad way):

The McCain campaign's faux outrage at the ageism of the commercial—a spokesperson condemned it "shameless and dishonorable" blah blah blah—was topped by Obama's ticketmate, Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.), who told Katie Couric:

"I thought that was terrible by the way...If I'd have had anything to do with it, we never would have done it."

Biden later pulled a page from Bob Dole's '96 campaign playbook and later admitted he'd never seen the ad in question (those of us who slept through Dole's sad-sack run a dozen years ago will recall the Kansan was wont to criticize movies he never bothered to watch).

Here's Biden talking with Couric on what I guess is an Amtrak train. Or, quite simply, the least convincing rear-projection scene since that episode of My Three Sons where Uncle Charlie goes back to harness racing for one last hurrah (oh, the humanity).

Joe Biden, to be sure, is one politician who never fails to entertain, whether he's saying paying taxes is patriotic, remembering his blue-collar roots, or asking crippled supporters to stand up and be recognized. (Well, he does fail to entertain when he's pushing idiotic legislation such as The RAVE Act.)

In any case, there's no way out this election: As Who Do You Hate '08 reminds us, any way you vote, you'll either be sexist, racist, ageist, or...Bidenist.

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    the least convincing rear-projection scene since that episode of My Three Sons where Uncle Charlie goes back to harness racing for one last hurrah (oh, the humanity)

    Been watching Nick at Nite again, Nick? What, no Maynard G. Krebs references were available?

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    http://cbs2.com/politics/joe.biden.interview.2.823202.html

    "Part of what being a leader does is to instill confidence is to demonstrate what he or she knows what they are talking about and to communicating to people ... this is how we can fix this," Biden said. "When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the princes of greed. He said, 'look, here's what happened.'"



    Only two things wrong with that quote, Joe. You freaking genius.

  • ||

    Joe Biden: America's Uncle.

    Amiably drunk before your aunt brings out dessert since 1972.

  • Abdul||

    I always wondered why Obama picked Biden. Obama has a cautious and smooth public appearance. Did he feel that needed balancing with Chief Foot-in-the-mouth?

  • jtuf||

    Obama's foriegn policy is sooo 1970's. McCain's foriegn policy is sooo 1950's. I like Barr's foreign policy best. It's sooo 1870's century.

  • ||

    Obama has a cautious and smooth public appearance. Did he feel that needed balancing with Chief Foot-in-the-mouth?

    Why does every group of hot girls inevitably have a depressed fatso? Obama needs someone that the ugly guys can go home with and who will be grateful for those stale scraps.

  • ||

    Obama needs someone that the ugly guys can go home with and who will be grateful for those stale scraps

    "Fat girls need love too...but they gotta pay."

  • ||

    I think you're onto something, SugarFree.

    It's Beautiful Girl, and Beautiful Girl's Best Friend.

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    See, if Beautiful Girl had asked that guy to stand up, everyone would have just let it slide.

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    I really want to the see the alternate universe where McCain chose Palin first, and the Obama had to go with Hillary. Or what McCain would have done if Obama had gone with Hilary instead of Biden (a very real possibility without that almost forgotten foreign policy kerfluffle.)

    Of course, I also occasionally want to sleep until the election's over.

  • ||

    So Joe Biden is Obama's wingman, is that what you're saying?

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    Reinmoose,

    Yes. But more like when your dad was your "wingman" before you could drive. Biden can drop Obama off at the movies or take him to Chess King to get parachute pants--maybe slip him a $20 a an opportune time--but probably isn't going to be all that much help actually sealing the deal. And Biden will probably embarrass Obama half-to-death by asking his girlfriend's mom out on a date... resulting in Obama making out with his step-sister and making Thanksgiving awkward for, like, ever.

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    Joe, you are beautiful! Really, I just wish I had your...uh...your...your wrists. You have really nice wrists. I've heard a lot of guys comment on them. Really.

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    making out with his step-sister and making Thanksgiving awkward for, like, ever

    Having flashbacks again, NutraSweet? Just accept that you will never live that down.

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    Hating loudmouthed, obnoxious plagiarists is the REAL last acceptable prejudice.

  • ||

    No, my divorced-dad trauma came from the fact that my dad ended up dating a girl that I dated for while in 10th grade. Put an end to that shit quick; walked up to her and her friends at a party and asked in baby-talk "Are you going to be my new Step-Mommy?"

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    I guess he is more like the fat friend then, because his behavior reeks of "but I want to feel important too."

  • ||

    No, my divorced-dad trauma came from the fact that my dad ended up dating a girl that I dated for while in 10th grade

    NutraSweet's real name is Bill S. Preston, Esquire!

  • Mark P Neyer||

    There's a reason mccain can't send email - he was tortured and it hurts his fingers to type. That's why Biden said he wouldn't have sent the ad.

  • Abdul||

    Why does every group of hot girls inevitably have a depressed fatso? Obama needs someone that the ugly guys can go home with and who will be grateful for those stale scraps.

    The phenomenon is well documented by amateur sociologists. It is the BUFFer zone theory. BUFF = Big Ugly Fat Friend. She forms a symbiotic relationship with the Beautiful Girl. BUFF screens the guys hitting on BG. BG can pawn off unwanted attention on BUFF. BUFF, like a remorah fish, feeds of BG's scraps.

    Maybe this does explain the Biden pick.

  • Guy Montag||

    MPN,

    So the messiah did not know this fact? How can that be? I suspect a rogue underling, or a Rove infiltrator.

  • ||

    This comes up when you Google remora fish. SFW, but bikini...

    WTF is going on in this picture and why is she wearing a brass strap-on rig?

  • ||

    Abdul -
    I've never seen a fat friend screen the guys that are going for the beautiful girls. Fat friend is the one with the boobs that are resting on her stomach, that are only large because she's fat, and later when the other girls talk about how they were hit on by which guys, the fat one comments on how all the guys seemed to like her boobs.

  • ||

    to follow up, I think you're confusing the fat friend with the gay friend. The gay friend is the one who screens which guys the beautiful girls should go after.

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    I've never seen a fat friend screen the guys that are going for the beautiful girls

    Of course not, because Abdul is totally wrong. Fat Friends are cockblockers, not scrap feeders. Guys going for the attractive girl aren't going to drop their standards 50 points and decide to hump the pig (even with lipstick). The last thing the fatty wants is for her friend to score and leave her there alone. But she couches it in the rhetoric of "protecting" her friend, which makes her friend feel like she cares, so she accepts the cockblocking.

    If I see the fat friend, I look elsewhere. Why would I deal with the inevitable cockblocking?

  • ||

    Fat Friends are cockblockers, not scrap feeders.

    Right. Beautiful Girl can get as drunk as she wants when Beautiful Girl's Best Friend is there.

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    But she couches it in the rhetoric of "protecting" her friend, which makes her friend feel like she cares, so she accepts the cockblocking.

    Nah, she doesn't tolerate it because she feels cared for. She's a beautiful girl, so she has 125 tools coming up to her and hitting on her every night. She's grateful for the blocking.

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    Epi has it exactly right.
    Girls just don't have the comraderie of guys. They can't behave like a wingman, perhaps with the possible exception of once they are married or in a committed relationship.

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    Nah, she doesn't tolerate it because she feels cared for. She's a beautiful girl, so she has 125 tools coming up to her and hitting on her every night. She's grateful for the blocking

    Not really. Girls with fat friends usually are insecure about their looks, which is why they have a fat friend in the first place--so they look even better in comparison. So attention is appreciated, even if by tools.

  • Abdul||

    The BUFF does screen out guys. If BG sees guys treat BUFF dismissively, she knows something about their character.

    If you want to get BG, you have to buy BG a drink and a Fudgie the Whale cake for BUFF.

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    Or you can try to date women who don't play silly fat friend games.

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    Don't be such a party pooper, NutraSweet.

    If you want to get BG, you have to buy BG a drink and a Fudgie the Whale cake for BUFF

    No, you need to find a group of girls who are all attractive and then play them off one another by alternating your attention between them. Duh.

  • Abdul||

    No, you need to find a group of girls who are all attractive and then play them off one another by alternating your attention between them.

    Epi, in any group of attractive girls, one will be the least attractive, and she will end up taking the role of the BUFF.

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    Guys going for the attractive girl aren't going to drop their standards 50 points and decide to hump the pig (even with lipstick).

    Well, not before closing time, anyway.

    Epi, in any group of attractive girls, one will be the least attractive, and she will end up taking the role of the BUFF.

    So if you bottom-feed off that group, at least you're still banging a good-looking chick.

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    The BUFF does screen out guys. If BG sees guys treat BUFF dismissively, she knows something about their character.

    Like having a dog, or a retarded brother?

    If you want to get BG, you have to buy BG a drink and a Fudgie the Whale cake for BUFF.

    If you're up against a BG and a BUFF (if we're using your terms), I'm not sure it's doable. You have to have help in the form of a wingman for these instances because no matter how nice you are to BUFF, she's still going to be a cockblocker unless you find something/one else to occupy her.

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    Epi, in any group of attractive girls, one will be the least attractive, and she will end up taking the role of the BUFF

    Completely untrue. Attractive girls don't become "ugly" because they're not technically the hottest in a group. Once women get above a certain line, it's all good, and ranking becomes a mere technicality and a waste of time, or possibly a matter of your own preferences.

    she's still going to be a cockblocker unless you find something/one else to occupy her

    Well, that's why he suggested the cake.

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    So, basically, every group of guys should include one guy with no standards at all, in order to distract the BUFF. No wonder Epi gets so many party invitations...

  • ||

    So, basically, every group of guys should include one guy with no standards at all, in order to distract the BUFF. No wonder Epi gets so many party invitations...

    Ha ha, very funny. I tried having no standards once or twice. I couldn't do it.

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    So, basically, every group of guys should include one guy with no standards at all, in order to distract the BUFF.

    You never knew this? I learned it in college. We nicknamed the position the fullback.

  • Dagny T.||

    the fat one comments on how all the guys seemed to like her boobs.

    Ha! That is so true. Then she might start wearing disturbingly revealing tops to get more attention. It's not pretty.

    In my naive college days, I would try to include the Fat Friend, but now I'm cynical and just forget to return her calls when we're going out.

    The gay friend is much more helpful (and fun!) because he's there when you need to get rid of losers, but disappears when he's chasing hot guys of his own.

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    Then she might start wearing disturbingly revealing tops to get more attention. It's not pretty.

    Absolutely. I've known quite a few of the "fat friends" because I, myself, used to be unattractive. I know what the mentality is behind the scenes, and yes, they do wear more revealing clothing because they think it makes them more attractive.

    In my naive college days, I would try to include the Fat Friend, but now I'm cynical and just forget to return her calls when we're going out.

    Dude, we're totally at the same place.

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    In my naive college days, I would try to include the Fat Friend, but now I'm cynical and just forget to return her calls when we're going out

    Good move. If only more women would get smart.

    Dude, we're totally at the same place.

    Moose, you're a chick?!? :-)

  • Dagny T.||

    I know what the mentality is behind the scenes

    I wonder if it's the same with guys and cologne (or the hated Axe). The skeevier they are, the more likely they are to bathe in that stuff. Ick.

    Dude, we're totally at the same place.

    Nice. What's better, I don't even feel guilty about it. Life's too short to be someone's social life preserver.

  • ||

    My fault, I misread.

    I am not a chick, but I do get calls from the fat friends.

    Ditto on being a social life preserver

  • Dagny T.||

    If only more women would get smart.

    They are probably still in the pitying phase. Especially if you don't feel like getting hit on that night, it feels like your good deed of the day.

  • Anthropologist||

    The BUFF is normally also a BUFFWAC

    WAC = With A Car.

  • johnl||

    That's a bus, not an amrak. All the traffic is going the opposite way. And you can see through the window.

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