"This is the Dust of 3000 Innocent Human Beings!"

I'm holding a palm card that was just given out at the Heritage Foundation to promote the new David Zucker film An American Carol. If I fill out the card, I can take one of four pledges, such as "Yes, I will send the trailer to my contacts" and "Yes, I want to be AN AMERICAN CAROLER or THEATER CAPTAIN." It's an induction to a movement, as the slogan on the card makes clear: "Finally, a movie for us."

By "us," of course, the filmmakers and promoters mean conservatives. Executive producer Myrna Sokoloff has put together a "pro-soldier, support our troops, pro-America" comedy, which Stephen Hayes previews in the new Weekly Standard. In it, filmmaker Michael Malone (Kevin "brother of Chris" Farley) and his organization MoveAlong.org are trying to repeal the Fourth of July when three angels—the Angel of Death, George S. Patton, and George Washington—come to him and convince him to change his ways.

The crowd at Heritage got to see a trailer and a few minutes of clips 24 hours before either of them will be generally released. I'm a huge fan of the Zucker-Leslie Nielsen canon, and not much of a fan of Zucker's ads for Republicans. The footage we saw floated somewhere in the middle of those two projects, quality-wise. Fat-assed Malone travels to Cuba, pledges to destroy America, and takes advantage of the invisibility granted by ghost status by grabbing a protestor's boobs. Bill O'Reilly appears out of nowhere to slap him. "I just like doing that," he says. Terrorists led by everybody's favorite pockmarked tough guy Robert Davi bitch that they're low on suicide bombers ("All the good ones are gone!") and all answer to the name Mohammed. In a scene that Sokoloff described, but didn't bring, Patton and his soldiers storm a courthouse that's about to remove the Ten Commandments and start opening fire on the people trying to stop them. "You can't shoot these people!" Malone says. "They're not people!" says Patton. "They're the ACLU!" At this point we see that the ACLU members are unkillable George Romero zombies.

Details about the movie were kept secret, on purpose, until this month. In February, it was reported that Kelsey Grammer would be Scrooge in the new movie. He's actually playing the ghost of George Patton, and Jon Voight is playing George Washington. In a clip we saw, Washington takes Malone to St. Paul's Cathedral to lecture him on freedom of religion and "freedom of speech, which you abuse." Malone is grossed out by dust in the priest's box, so the doors open onto the smoldering ruins of the World Trade Center. "This is the dust of 3000 innocent human beings!" bellows Washington. Malone whimpers that he's just making movies. Washington won't have it. "Is that what you plan to say on Judgment Day?"

"That scene," said Sokoloff, "is hard to put in a comedy. But we had to do it."

The whole meeting had the tone of a FARC strategy session more than a fun publicity junket. This movie isn't just going to sell tickets (it'll open in 2000 theaters), it's going to liberate Hollywood's Republican untouchables and open the floodgates to more conservative films. "Last year you saw a bunch of anti-military movies like Redacted and In the Valley of Elah," Sokoloff said. "All of them had big stars, and, thank God, they bombed. America didn’t want to see that stuff on screen. We have to show up to a movie that has our values. If this succeeds, if could change everything."

Sokoloff did worry about the last political comedy to hit theaters, Swing Vote. "People just didn't want to see something about the election," she mused. Is it a bad sign that both of the fictional politicians in that film, Dennis Hopper and Kelsey Grammer, are back in this? Probably not, actually. Swing Vote tried to tell a sappy Capra story divorced from real-world politics. This movie grabs the culture war by both horns and starts riding and hollering.

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  • Episiarch||

    Prediction: it will be horrible with a few funny moments. Those funny moments will probably be very similar to the shots taken at liberals in Team America. The non-funny parts will be agonizingly bad.

  • ||

    It sounds like this will do for comedy what Ben Stein's Expelled did for science.

  • Mad Max||

    "In a clip we saw, Washington takes Malone to St. Paul's Cathedral to lecture him on freedom of religion and 'freedom of speech, which you abuse.' Malone is grossed out by dust in the priest's box, so the doors open onto the smoldering ruins of the World Trade Center. "This is the dust of 3000 innocent human beings!" bellows Washington. Malone whimpers that he's just making movies. Washington won't have it. 'Is that what you plan to say on Judgment Day?'"

    Don't forget the hilarious scene where Washington says he was "just kidding" about the whole no-entangling-alliances thing.

  • Naga Sadow||

    I would have asked who was going to be playing MJK.

    Zing!

  • Nigel Watt||

    Nope, won't be watching it.

  • ||

    Look people. Blinkered fanatics ARE NOT FUNNY on either the left or the right. It was seriousness and a lack of humor that made them fanatics in the first place. Don't hold your breath for a hilarious anti-war Sean Penn sitcom anytime soon, either.

    And speaking of Expelled, conservatives should stay out of the documentary genre. The right has religion to tell them what to think and the left has documentaries. Documentaries are liberal equivilent of going to church; there's a reason Unitarians aren't much of a force in the religious landscape of America.

  • ||

    This movie sounds gay. Larry Craig republican closet gay.

  • ||

    This reminds of me liberals trying to do radio talk shows. Talk radio is bad enough without liberal pontification. Now we have conservatives trying to put political messages in Hollywood movies. The political messages in movies are bad enough without having to sit through neocon/theocon lectures.

  • ||

    So this tripe is getting green-lit while Atlas Shrugged is stuck in pre-production hell. Does that seem right to you?

  • Episiarch||

    Blinkered fanatics ARE NOT FUNNY on either the left or the right.

    Oh yes they are. It's just that you need someone like Sascha Baron Cohen interviewing them to get at the funny nougat center.

  • TallDave||

    Heh.

    I bet it does at least 10x what Redacted did.

  • ||

    conservatives should stay out of the documentary genre.

    Let's be fair, now. Conservatives have made some good documentaries too, on issues like immigration and the Waco attacks.

  • ||

    Oh god that sounds nauseating. I probably should have waited to start drinking.

  • JP||

    Shooting libruls is funny! Especially if they abuse so-called "free speech!" I decide!

  • BDB||

    Good God this sounds lame. I bet most homemade YouTube videos will get more views than this movie.

  • ||

    And it's funny you don't smear all liberal documentaries everywhere on the basis of shit like Sicko...

  • BDB||

    Don't they also realize 9/11 is now a punchline?

  • ||

    There some stupid show on Fox News called The Half-hour News Hour that was supposed to compete with The Daily Show. I saw a clip of that where the running joke was that Barack Obama's initials are "BO". I shit you not. That's what this sounds like.

  • BDB||

    Oh, the Half Hour News Hour. What an abortion of a "comedy" show that was.

  • fyodor||

    filmmaker Michael Malone (Kevin "brother of Chris" Farley) and his organization MoveAlong.org are trying to repeal the Fourth of July when three angels-the Angel of Death, George S. Patton, and George Washington-come to him and convince him to change his ways.

    I don't know about anyone else, but I think an encounter with the Angel of Death would be plenty to convince me of just about anything, with or without dead American heroes thrown in!!

  • Taktix®||

    Weigel, I hope the following quote was sarcasm:

    I'm a huge fan of the Zucker-Leslie Nielsen canon...

    Because if it isn't, you have no cred as a movie critic. You're going to tell me you liked Spy Hard? Dracula: Dead and Loving It? Mafia?

    But on to this American Carol business: this is parroting, not parody. Simply taking figures from the real world or literature, changing their names slightly, and adding some fart jokes does not a satire make.

    This looks to be another entry in to lowest common denominator of "comedy," a genre filled with the likes of Epic Movie, Date Movie, and Meet the Spartans.

    It's the drooling masses chuckling at this trash, stupefied while their leaders destroy their rights.

  • Jeff Fecke||

    So this tripe is getting green-lit while Atlas Shrugged is stuck in pre-production hell. Does that seem right to you?

    Actually, yes, given that if shot faithfully, AS would be 98 hours long, and terminally dull.

  • TallDave||

    Atlas Shrugged is stuck in pre-production hell.

    You'd think with Angelina Jolie on board, it would be a done deal, but apparently Perelman is out and she's pregnant, so...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlas_Shrugged_(film)

  • ||

    This sounds like pretty edgy stuff, really. A fat, liberal filmmaker named Michael Malone? Brilliant.

    However, they should have gone the extra mile and named the character Michael S'mores and had him eating s'mores all the time. I'm not saying it's funny, but it has a lot of potential in the product tie-in dep't.

  • Elemenope||

    Documentaries are liberal equivalent of going to church; there's a reason Unitarians aren't much of a force in the religious landscape of America.

    Alright, boys (and transgendered fellow travelers)! We've hoisted the question mark. Let's set 'er alight!

    [Dramatic pan to SugarFree, who stands agape]

    Sugarfree: Why o why didn't the government outlaw this *hate Speech!!!*

  • TallDave||

    BTW, was anyone else surprised and aroused to learn Jolie was a huge Ayn Rand fan?

  • ||

    However, they should have gone the extra mile and named the character Michael S'mores and had him eating s'mores all the time. I'm not saying it's funny, but it has a lot of potential in the product tie-in dep't.

    Heh. Well it's the funniest thing in this thread so far anyway.

  • Ken Hagler||

    If I were to make a movie poking fun at idiotic Republicans and the nonsense they believe, I think it would be exactly the same.

  • ||

    Wow. This sounds "Waterworld" bad.

  • David McElroy||

    Does anyone know who's behind the funding of this movie (or the packaging of the fund-raising)?

  • Fluffy||

    I have no problem with this film. I am making my own film where the protagonists kill as many Christians as they can find, explaining while doing so that it's OK, because Christians aren't people.

    OK actually I'm not making that film, but I hope someone does.

    BTW, I hate Michael Moore as much as the next guy [probably more, because I hated him starting from Roger and Me, and didn't want for his later work to hate him like a lot of other people] but does anyone seriously think that if there were to actually be a Judgment Day, he'd have more to worry about than, say, W?

  • ||

    "Last year you saw a bunch of anti-military movies like Redacted and In the Valley of Elah," Sokoloff said. "All of them had big stars, and, thank God, they bombed. America didn't want to see that stuff on screen."

    Uh, yeah, it isn't that Americans don't want heavy-handed political movies, just that your typical 2007 American movie-goer wanted heavy-handed politics wanted a more right-wing message. That's gotta be it.

    That's gotta be it. In 2007/2008, what Americans really want when they go to the movies is heavy-handed politics about the war on terror - but only if it has that strong pro-Iraq War, right-leaning angle that's become so popular over the past few years.

    "We have to show up to a movie that has our values. If this succeeds, if could change everything."

    I look forward to this movie flopping spectacularly, and the dawning realization that there are a couple of orders of magnitude more Americans who buy into "Hollywood values" (quite distinct from "liberal values") than "our values."

    Aw, who am I kidding? They'll come up with some conspiracy theory about the all-powerful liberals who refused to provide wide theatrical realease to this steaming pile, despite the literally dozens of Americans who wrote in demanding it be shown.

  • ||

    A movie based on Michael-Moore-is-fat? How can it miss? But I thought conservatives in Hollywood had been hunted to extinction. "Finally, a movie for us". That cracks me up. Poor David Zucker, an outcast all his life.

  • ||

    Elemenope,

    It may be the low blood sugar talking, but... Huh?

    Unitarians are fairly politically liberal as a group. Is this a controversial statement? The Unitarians aren't a major political force like many other denominations they are largely conservative. Again, controversial statement?

    I'm really not sure what you are getting at.

  • ||

    What a bunch of morons.

  • ||

    And it's funny you don't smear all liberal documentaries everywhere on the basis of shit like Sicko...

    I said documentaries are more effective and numerous when made by liberals because the liberal base likes going to documentaries. I made no claims on the quality of those documentaries.

    I only mentioned Expelled because of the rarity of it being a conservative documentary.

    Feel free to doubt evolution if like; I wasn't making fun of your precious Ben Stein.

  • Episiarch||

    I look forward to this movie flopping spectacularly

    It all depends on if they can get a large number of Republican types to come out and see the movie just to support it. I doubt it, but Passion of the Christ made 80 bajillion dollars. However, the latter was about the founder of the dominant religion in this country and the former is just about culture war politics.

    You want to experience severe pain? Go see this movie somewhere where the audience is overwhelmingly Republican. You will either experience the pain of listening to people laughing uproariously at ham-fisted culture war jabs, or the pain of watching the target audience for these jokes not laugh at them because they're so unfunny.

    As something of a connoisseur of pain and bad movies it's definitely something to consider (if I could get to somewhere with the right audience).

  • Jeff Fecke||

    Documentaries are liberal equivalent of going to church; there's a reason Unitarians aren't much of a force in the religious landscape of America.

    We are, however, able to kick some ass when a shotgun-wielding maniac attacks.

  • BDB||

    Epi, since you like horrible movies do you ever read the Agony Booth? I hope they do a review of this.

  • Episiarch||

    BDB, from the looks of it, The Agony Booth reviews mostly stuff that's a little too mainstream for me. I tend more towards fare like Invasion of the Blood Farmers or They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore.

    However, they do have Shatner's Impulse, which I own, so I'll have to read that recap.

  • vinny gates||

    I can't actually tell if this is making fun of liberals OR neocons.

  • Boston||

    Did that Hillary movie ever come out?

  • ||

    I've no plans to watch this til I can Netflix it and thus not contribute any money, but this sounds so terrible that it has the potential to be great, especially if watched while drunk.

  • ||

    We are, however, able to kick some ass when a shotgun-wielding maniac attacks.

    Indeed.

  • First Little Pig||

    HUMBUG!

  • ||

    Elemenope,

    Never mind. Under the sweet incandescent lightbulbs of home, I see what you were getting at. Brain broke; going to play videogames until wife comes home.

  • Alan Vanneman||

    I hear that on the set Kelsey and Dennis snorted the dust of 3,000 innocent human beings, thinking it was coke.

  • Boston||

    Also if Voight says this "Is that what you plan to say on Judgment Day?" as Washington, I will punch him in the mouth.

  • ||

    Yet another version of A Christmas Carol. Not that I'm against the genre, but when will THIS version ever get the hollywood treatment?

    http://www.adrugwarcarol.com/

    Think of the potential for midnight-show double-bills with Reefer Madness!

  • ||

    Lol, Alan.

    sniff. sniff. Man this shit sucks. Quit hogging it!

  • BDB||

    Episiarch-

    Read the recap of Manos, the Hands of Fate.

    Thats probably a "movie" thats right up your alley.

  • Republican Base||

    3000 innocent human beings? In New York City?

    After you discount for queers, fornicators, drug users, and gamblers you'd be lucky to have 10.

  • ||

    Oh, I get it now. Michael Malone is supposed to be Michael Moore. It's gold, Jerry. Gold!

  • ||

    Both Patton and Washington would have told these people to go to hell.

  • Episiarch||

    Read the recap of Manos, the Hands of Fate.

    I have encountered this one through MST3K. Once you've seen Joel and company work one of these movies over, watching it by itself is no fun.

    Also, watching Ed Wood movies becomes less fun after seeing Ed Wood. You start looking for Ed's humanity in his films and that's never a good idea.

  • Ryo||

    This movie is going to do Larry The Cable Guy numbers.

  • ||

    I can't actually tell if this is making fun of liberals OR neocons.

    I noticed that as well.

  • ||

    After you discount for queers, fornicators, drug users, and gamblers you'd be lucky to have 10.

    So long as those 10 are dead it was worth it.

  • Elemenope||

    Sugarless --

    It's better than that. I used to *be* a UU (in my youth, before the age of reason). Knowing some back-pocket Unitarian jokes is par for the course.

  • Salvius||

    Prolefeed: Wow. This sounds "Waterworld" bad.

    Hell, it sounds Freddie Got Fingered bad.

  • GILMORE||

    "Let's make a "comedy" about the ugliest stereotypes across the american political spectrum! only, we'll be the GOOD GUYS! Yeah!"

    Did anyone ever look at it and go, "hey... we look like a bunch of dicks!?"

  • Kolohe||

    Good God this sounds lame. I bet most homemade YouTube videos will get more views than this movie.

    Most youtube *comments* seem more inteligent than this movie.

    And how is Mr Weigel familar with a FARC strategy session, hmmm? That's tres cosmo, even for me.

  • ||

    There some stupid show on Fox News called The Half-hour News Hour that was supposed to compete with The Daily Show. I saw a clip of that where the running joke was that Barack Obama's initials are "BO". I shit you not.



    While it certainly wasn't up to part with The Daily Show (which merely puts me to sleep instead of inducing vomit), it is right in line with most progressive humor. Think "BusHitler", "Chimpy McBush", "The Shrub", etc. To some people the height of humor is someone from Code Pink flashing their muff saying "here's my bush"!

  • ||

    Finally, the right gets its "Canadian Bacon".

    Does this make Kelsey Grammar the new Ed Asner?

  • ||

    Epi wrote: "It all depends on if they can get a large number of Republican types to come out and see the movie just to support it."

    I dunno. I bet there's a fair number of such people who, after hiring a sitter and schlepping themselves to the multiplex, will say "ah, screw it, I'm gonna see something good."

    Also: Bill "loofah" O'Reilly smacks someone for ghost-groping a woman?

    The lack of self-awareness is... well... as expected.

  • ||

    "While it certainly wasn't up to part with The Daily Show (which merely puts me to sleep instead of inducing vomit), it is right in line with most progressive humor. Think "BusHitler", "Chimpy McBush", "The Shrub", etc."

    The difference is that people aren't being paid to make those epithets up. Those are either split-second brain farts that amused someone writing a comment on the web, or someone repeating what someone else came up with. They didn't submit resumes for the honor of doing so.

  • ||

    Voight was pure gold as "Mr Sir" in "Holes." One bright spot in an otherwise dim career.

  • Metal Messiah||

    Oh, man, I can't wait to see this. This movie is going to suck harder than Larry Craig at a San Francisco bathhouse.

    Curiously enough, I always figured Jon Voight was a lefty. Then again, I'm not one to obsess over the political affiliations of entertainers.

  • ||

    I look forward to this movie flopping spectacularly, and the dawning realization that there are a couple of orders of magnitude more Americans who buy into "Hollywood values" (quite distinct from "liberal values") than "our values."

    Based on the number of twits who infest H&R when they link to National Review, I'm not sure I'd bet on it. Using the crazification factor, 27% of 300 million is a lot.

  • Jon Voight||

    AS MANNY

    (best scene evrr!)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqVn94Lf-tU

  • ||

    Conservatives can make interesting documentaries; check out Indoctrinate U.

    http://www.indoctrinate-u.com/intro/

  • ||

    "...conservatives should stay out of the documentary genre."

    Yeah, there's that famous liberal defense of free speech, for you, huh?

    Only a nauseous, fat-ass like Michael Moore should get to produce propaganda.

  • ||

    This write-up does make the movie seem pretty unappealing, though I have read others that make it sound better. I've always liked Airplane, Nake Gun (not the sequels) and Top Secret, his other work not so much.

    I'm really not sure 9/11 is good comedy fodder.

  • ||

    "Yeah, there's that famous liberal defense of free speech, for you, huh?"

    It's not censorship, it's advice that conservatives should stick to their strengths rather than flaunting an area of incompetence.

    That said, there's plenty of room for conservative-produced documentaries on cable. All those shows about military hardware, for instance.

  • ||

    Note to conservatives: please stay out of humor and stick to what you're good at (basically being intolerant pricks). Thanks.

  • aarrgghh||

  • ||

    No thanks, Jon Voight and Bill O'Reilly. Puke! Conservatives should stick with being self-centered pricks.

  • TallDave||

    Heh, where did lefties get the idea they were better at humor? There's just more of them doing it.

    Adam Sandler, Dennis Miller, and Kelsey Grammer have done pretty well for themselves in the comedic genre. Not to mention Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

    The truth is, the more politics in your humor, the more it sucks, regardless of your affiliation.

  • ||

    I seriously doubt that 10 people will pay money to watch this pile of crap.

  • ||

    LOL,
    I can hardly wait to see this masterpiece of American Realism Cinema.
    These kind of naked propaganda pieces always make me laugh. There hasn't been one that sounds this good since Red Dawn was in theatres.

  • ||

    The most astonishing thing about this?

    Larry the Cable Guy had enough sense to pass on this disaster!

  • Audie Sweet McGrogan||

    And to think Reason tries quarterly to sell me a subscription because I am a 'conservative' as are they. Then I read these comments and find a ton of public shchool and Endowed University BS - giving me a new reason to wonder how We (that is Americans) are going to survive the current roster of voters.

  • ||

    So, this is real? It sounds a lot like the Simpons episode that had the remake of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington with Mel Gibson. Of course when it gets predictably savaged by the critics it will be because the critics are all members of the liberal media.

  • jonrog1||

    And, of course, by "current roster of voters" you mean "other citizens who inconveniently don't see how I;m right."

  • ||

    this looks almost as bad as 'meet the spartans'. tired and lazy.

    has it really been 20 years since this guy was funny? i don't know what happened, whether money spoiled him or this is just a case of syphilis left untreated.

    too bad zucker fans will be left with looking back to 'scary movie' for a time when he had something together.

  • ||

    This movie sounds like a major piece of shit.

  • ||

    Jacob: "Conservatives should stick with being self-centered pricks."

    Since when have libertarians had a problem with being self-centered (or pricks, for that matter)?

  • ||

    I'm not surprised that there is a shooting of innocent people in this film. Look at what happened in Knoxville in a liberal church where a conservative egged on the by hatred from the right went in and tired to kill children. That is the result of the right's propaganda of hate against liberals

    This is a quote from the Ronald Reagan's son Michael..he said on his radio show

    Naming their children 'Hezbollah.'You know what I'd get 'em for a first birthday? I'd put a grenade up their butts and light it. Happy birthday, baby. Bye bye."

    (thats what Reagan would do to a baby!)

    "In response to a caller who pointed out that children are not responsible for the names they are given, Reagan repeatedly asserted, "So what's wrong with killing the mothers and the babies?""
    ( http://www.commondreams.org/news2008/0626-19.htm )

    The right uses violent sick humor.

  • fletch||

    I don't get it. Why is "liberal" a poison word, and what's wrong with the ACLU? There's actually a site called "stoptheaclu", I don't think the maintainer actually understands what the ACLU does, or who they represent (hint: normal people).

    Wikipedia very correctly states that a liberal believes "individual liberty to be the most important political goal."

    I can't think of a more laudable goal. Yet, somehow it is twisted by the right. Poisoned. Your freedom is not important, or this ideal is just lies made up by liberals who want to control your lives? Get real. Conservatives mess with people and individual freedoms so much more than liberals ever could.

    States rights "libertarians" want liberalism but don't understand that they do - states rights is a shadow of personal freedoms - my neighbors believe what I do, so together our ideas are important. They just move the liberal goal from people to the state. Screw that shash.

    The only important rights are the ones you have. Don't let jokers take them away. If you are afraid of being weak on terrorism or that liberalism would weaken our country, I ask - after 8 years of a conservative at the top, are we stronger, more secure? Any reasonable person would answer "no". My wife last night after watching the news about Georgia and Russia was scared that we're heading for world war three. Yet she doesn't let her fear cloud her thinking - the conservatives in charge of foreign affairs have botched it. Place the blame where it belongs, please!

  • ||

    ["the Zucker-Leslie Nielsen canon..."]

    "Spy Hard? Dracula: Dead and Loving It? Mafia?"

    The first two had Nielsen but no Zucker. The last had neither Nielsen nor Zucker.

  • ||

    Oh yeah, I get the joke, unarmed advocates for freedom deserve to get shot! Wot a laf!

    In the immortal words of Eddie Murphy, regarding the reaction to his Stevie Wonder impression:

    "Ha! Ha! Very funny, motherfucker!!"

    This liberal won't be seeing that movie. I am heading to down to Arkansas. I heard a new job opened up at Dem party headquarters.

  • ||

    Wikipedia very correctly states that a liberal believes "individual liberty to be the most important political goal."

    Depending on what you mean by "individual", "liberty", "important", and "goal", I guess.

    Because most of the liberals I hear about seem to be spend most of their time talking about raising my taxes and increasing the size and scope of the Total State. Which seems like a funny way to act if individual freedom is your most important goal.

  • ||

    The ACLU has defended both Oliver North and Rush Limbaugh. Look it up.

  • fletch||

    @ R C Dean:

    There's a funny thing about paying taxes. They pay for stuff. Like that crap war that cost far more than any liberal initiative, ever.

    So, your idea of paying less taxes is crap. The rich already pays almost nothing and corporations in general DO pay nothing. Someone needs to pay the piper. Continuing to borrow from China to pay for these massive (yet nobody ever labels them "pork barrel", huh) CONSERVATIVE projects is going to kill us.

    Your talking point about Democrats wanting to raise taxes doesn't hold any water anyway. Obama's plan only affects those making more than $250,000 a year. That is the elites of this country, not the main part of the population. If you are a rich person, kindly state that in your post.

    Thanks for nothing.

  • ||

    R C Dean

    You have not been talking to liberals. Most are worried about a take over of the government by right wingers and about lying the US into a war for oil...and a fear of a war with Iran orchestrated by the White House to stop criminal prosecutions for crimes against humanity.

    They worry that the US has been weakened by spending so much money on war, while ignoring education and health care.


    If you want to get an idea of what liberals are talking about...go to http://www.commondreams.org/

  • ||

    fletch:

    Your "rich" pay more than anyone else:

    http://www.taxfoundation.org/news/show/250.html

    In case you have trouble reading, the top 10% of taxpayers pay 70.79% of taxes.

  • fletch||

    Colleen: Thanks, and great points.

    I let myself get caught up in the taxes argument. Actually R C Dean first mentioned and then accused liberals of always talking about it. My bad for feeding a troll.

    War bad. Spying on citizens bad. Education and health care for all good. :-)

  • fletch||

    Marcvs:

    Ok fine I overstated. I was actually referring to the tax cuts made by the current administration, who borrows huge amounts of money, yet takes away a big hunk of the governments only way to actually get money to spend.

    The rich pay for the bulk of this country. Great. That's the way it should be. The country has been good to you, therefore you should make some sort of tribute, don't you think?

    Or, shall the part of the country that is suffering financially bear the burden, making their troubles worse?

    Or you believe that we should just not honor our huge debt to China?

    You either a) have a serious moral issue and don't care about anything but your pocketbook, or b) have trouble thinking sensibly.

    Personally, I think you are morally bankrupt, since you can at least manage to make complete sentences. There's obviously some intelligence there. It's just selfishly pointed inward.

  • ||

    My favorite wasn't mentioned about in the post but here it is from the script.

    INT ABU GHRAIB PRISON NIGHT

    Kelsey Grammar (George Washington) and Bill O'Reilly have brought Film Maker Michael Malone to witness their version of spreading democracy throughout the world.

    Michael Malone
    " I don't see how this is helping Americas image."

    The few lowly privates are having the naked Iraqi men form a human pyramid.

    Michael Malone
    "Most of these men are unemployed Iraqi civilians who have done nothing wrong."

    Kelsey Grammar
    "I George Washington believe if they were innocent why would they be here in Iraq?"

    Bill O'Reilly
    "Yes this is just part of the birthing pains of a new nation oh I just can't take it I've got to slap one of those fine brown asses."

    Bill O'Reilly breaks out of the god provided protective sphere of space travel to slap the rear of a thirty-year-old Iraqi schoolteacher who is in the middle of the pyramid. The young female private Lindsay England who at this point is not surprised by anything gives Bill O'Reilly a thumb up as the camera flashes. The senior officer that had just taking the photos smiles.

    Senior Officer
    "Nice job private, let's put that thumbs up in all the pics."

    Fade out……

  • ||

    Sure your runofthemill Unitarians are easy going; but like all religions they have extremely dangerous splinter groups that are a threat to AMERICA.

    "We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with. .........Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions.."

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/04/08/DDG27BCFLG1.DTL

    They even have an extremely sophisticated online conversion program that is hard to resist.
    http://www.elsewhere.org/cgi-bin/jihad?


    TAKE NOTE AND FEAR. Well, maybe not FEAR.. Take Note And BE Extremely Worried.. Well maybe Take Note And BE Deeply Concerned..., Or perhaps Take Note And BE Severely Apprehensive, How about Take Note And BE a wee bit anxious?

    Cheers,
    Brother Venerable Molotov Cocktail of Love

  • ||

    The idea that the ACLU oppresses the military and police is laughable if it wasn't taken so seriously by some people.

  • invasion14||

    I give this film 5 golden butt plugs!!!! that should make them very happy about that. I don't think there is anything higher on a republicans mind than a beautiful golden butt plug.

  • Invasion14||

    zerg | August 12, 2008, 3:25pm | #
    "This movie sounds gay. Larry Craig republican closet gay."


    This is not nice to say. Larry Craig was just trying to have sex in a bathroom with another man that does not make him gay.

  • ||

    Conservatards should stay out of the entertainment business. They're all uptight, unfunny, and dumb f*cks (e.g. "Half hour comedy hour") . Unfortunately, they're better at pumping racist hatred through AM radio and Faux.

  • ||

    fletch:

    I find it amusing that you purport to know what I think and believe based on the fact that I simply pointed out that you were wrong. And you even go as far to say that I'm morally bankrupt. On the plus side, this movie sounds like it'll be right up your alley. You probably won't have to think at all during it.

  • JB||

    Where did all the moonbats come from?

    The ACLU has attacked my gun rights. They can go suck an egg.

    Oh, and fletch, get your hands off my ass. That's my wallet and I don't want you anywhere near it because poor, wittle victims make you hurt in your special place.

    Would you be upset if I broke into your house and stole half your stuff?

  • ||

    Hey, I hope they have time to work in a Bill Gwatney joke.

    "Hey, Gwatney! Maybe this'll teach you to help elect the Antichrist!"

    In related news, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and Sean Hannity all reported having trouble washing bloodstains off their hands.

    RG

  • ||

    The main character was trying to repeal the Fourth of July? What does that even mean?

    When did conservatives become a bunch of retarded third graders?

  • ||

    Also, Kelsey Grammar as Patton? Seriously?

  • fletch||

    Marcvs: when you distract from my point and insult me, that's what you get.

    It was quite obvious that you were upset about that 70%, making a big deal of it, putting the word rich in quotes, and then insinuating that I don't read.

    Sorry you're so transparent. You absolutely have no morals, you attacked me without provocation on a public form. Go away.

  • fletch||

    JB:

    Reap what you sow. Guns and money. How sad you are.

    I have absolutely no compunction about wanting to tax your dumb ass.

  • Happy||

    Boy, I usually hate reading comments sections, but you all are funny and not raving partisan lunatics? I'm too lazy to look up this here site.

    What wonderful place have I stumbled into?

  • (: Tom :)||

    R C Dean | August 13, 2008, 4:29pm | #

    Because most of the liberals I hear about seem to be spend most of their time talking about raising my taxes and increasing the size and scope of the Total State. Which seems like a funny way to act if individual freedom is your most important goal.

    As opposed to most conservatives, who seem to spend most of their time actually raising my taxes (while lying about it) and increasing the size and scope of the Total State. Oh, and illegally wiretapping americans, ignoring that whole habeus corpus thing and illegally detaining people without charging them with a crime for years. And illegally installing partisan Republican't hacks into the justice system. For starters. Just listing all of the high crimes and misdemeanors of the current junta would be a full time job...

    What was that about a funny way to act if individual freedom is your most important goal again?

  • ||

    "In case you have trouble reading, the top 10% of taxpayers pay 70.79% of taxes."

    And they own over 90% of the nation's financial wealth - they ARE underpaying, friend!

  • colleen||

    fletch

    I have no problem with lowering taxes for people who make less than $40,000/year and people who make less than $20,000 shouldn't pay taxes at all.

    Its how the money is used that is a problem. And people should demand good services from their government. There should be ways to evaluate government employees and those that are creating problems should be moved from their positions.

    The wealthy have so much money that the amount they give is high now but the percentage is low of their total earnings. The wealthy also know how to use the tax laws so that they have income that is not taxed at all.

    It just shows how people have been sucked into the conservative ideology when they advocate for the rich ..which is against their own self interests.

    Now that would be a funny movie..having some poor SOBs advocating an ideoleogy that benefited their bosses..as they descend into poverty..( or is that America today?)

    And the last scene would show the wealthy in a place like Dubai... living a high life style..while the suckers back in the US are losing their homes...

  • ||

    "Sokoloff did worry about the last political comedy to hit theaters, Swing Vote. "People just didn't want to see something about the election," she mused."

    Or perhaps it's just that the movie looked to be a complete dog with a ridiculous premise and a star who could make watching paint dry seem to be high adventure by comparison. A decent election comedy starring, oh, say, a COMEDIC ACTOR, would likely have done much better...

  • ||

    Wow, "reason" magazine looks to really just be Kos lite. "Libertarians" look more and more like big L liberals these days.

    First off, why so much vitriol for a movie that takes a conservative point of view for laughs? Aren't there enough Liberal ones out there. Is it really that big of a threat to some of you that you have froth coming out of your mouths? I think the novelty factor alone is refreshing...whether or not it is good or bad remains to be seen. But one thing is for sure, there is WAAYYY too much of ONE viewpoint coming from ONE side in the media today. If you all are so rational and down to earth, cant you agree that homogenous monolithic opinion pervading society through nearly EVERY outlet is not the most healthy thing for a FREE society? No, you are too busy out "CENTERING" each other.. great, you aren't Republican or Democrat, I get it. You are special.

    Me, Republican, Conservative, Right Wing, Neocon, paleocon, all the smearing adjectives you can come up with.. and proud of it. Now, aren't I special??!!

  • ||

    Washington taking someone to a catholic church? Only a religious ignoramus could come up with such a silly stupid anachronistic notion.

    Washington is George the first.
    Paton is George the second.
    Bush is George the turd.

  • fletch||

    colleen:

    Your numbers are far too low. I'm guessing you don't live in San Francisco or New York, where the salaries and cost of living are much higher.

    The $250K cutoff for introducing new taxes is pretty reasonable, IMO.

  • ||

    Patton and his soldiers storm a courthouse that's about to remove the Ten Commandments and start opening fire on the people trying to stop them. "You can't shoot these people!" Malone says. "They're not people!" says Patton. "They're the ACLU!"

    Wow. After right-wing loonies kill children in a church and an Arkansas Democrat for being liberal, I'm sure this will bring the house down...at the NRA.

    Republicans don't do funny. Pathetic, yes.

  • DD||

    This sounds like it's going to be a longer (more painful?) version of FOX News' failed "1/2 Hour Comedy Hour". Conservatives aren't very good at doing funny - well, not intentionally anyway.

    So O'Reilly is going to have a part related to bOObs? Surely we all remember what O'Reilly wanted to do to Andrea Mackris' "spectacular bOObs"? LOL!

  • DD||

    That should read: FOX News' failed "1/2 Hour News Hour".

  • ||

    Let's face it, Republican's just aren't funny, at least on purpose...

  • ||

    Another masterpiece of crap from the comedy genius who brought you "The 1/2 Hour News Hour."

  • ||

    "I bet it does at least 10x what Redacted did."

    Yeah, especially once Richard Mellon Scaife starts buying tickets.

    BTW, he's the single biggest argument for a 100% estate tax.

  • colleen||

    Jim P

    "why so much vitriol for a movie that takes a conservative point of view for laughs?"

    Because our lives have been threatened by conservative points of view. I and probably others feel personally threatened by what the Bush administration and the conservatives have done

    My granddaughter is a Unitarian and my husband is a scientist(not connected to anthrax research..but we did live a few blocks from the location where the anthrax letters were sent from in Princeton ). I have protested and been verbally abused for carrying a sign.

    Point blank ... I do not feel safe in America...because of the government and the right wing which will attack liberals..physically, verbally and with lies.

    so I don't find it funny that people in the ACLU are shot..since I have belonged to the ACLU..

    People feel personally threatened in Bush's America

    fletch

    I once lived in NYC...many years ago...I have seen how people with low incomes can live...its another world than most of us experience. I think we both agree to tax the wealthy. And it is wealthy people who are behind this movie..An American Carol..

    American Carol is a propaganda piece for the right...and at its base they do not consider liberals human and they will kill.

  • omg||

    I can't wait to see the scene where poeple kill in order to stop the removal of the "thou shall not kill" commandment.

  • pt||

    Colleen. Thanks for the warning about us eeevil conservatives. I had no idea I was so evil. I better tell my wife about me and hope she just quietly divorces me. Actually, she wants to see the movie too, so you better have the both of us locked up. Maybe that'll make you feel more safe.

    Btw, try being a conservative in a blue state - your car is keyed, you lose your job, members of your church try to have you kicked out or have communion denied to you, your tires are slashed, and your kids are taught to hate you in school. Is that your idea of treating people you disagree with humanely?

    I'm just glad this movie is being made before the "Fairness Doctrine" makes it illegial. It's only a matter of time before critizing the "chosen one" becomes hate crime.

  • colleen||

    pt

    You are not the only conservative and you are jumping to conclusions and/or using hyperbole about my wanting to lock you up. And I seriously doubt... if you are polite about your views ...that those other things will happen to you. More likely people will avoid you if they don't agree with your point of view.

    Andrew Sullivan is a moral person and a conservative and I have respect for him.

    But there is an encouragement of violence coming out of conservative thought...and thats the problem. (Timothy McVeigh was not a liberal.) But yes there are some people who are conservative who are good imo...but there are also some conservatives who are arrogant and obnoxious.

    Why would you be denied communion because of political views?

  • ||

    pt, I seriously doubt anyone did those things to you because you are a conservative.

    From the tone of your post, I'm pretty sure they did them because you are an a$$hole.

  • ||

    Bringing up Timothy McVeigh isn't a good example. He was just plain warped in the head.

    I'm Catholic and when the movie DOGMA came out, the Church practically made it a Venial sin to watch it. Well, I watched it and laughed so hard at everything in that movie. It made such fun of my chosen religion and although I didn't agree with some of the so called facts, it made for great entertainment.

    If I see a movie made to make me look like a horrible individual due to my political views, it does sting a bit. But, if put in a way that makes fun of me in the way DOGMA did, I'll laugh louder than anyone.

    Take it for what it is...silliness.

  • colleen||

    Susan

    Silliness is fine...but using violence is not.

    Minimizing the humanity in another in order to justify their killing is not unusual..that loss of recognizing another person as being a human being is usually a precursor towards killing...for a war or even with the use of the death penalty.

    Once seen as less than human it becomes easier to kill the other person.

    Suppose it had been a religious group instead of the ACLU? what if it had been AIPAC or a group of Hassidim? What if it had been a group of blacks ? or a group of women?

    By substituting in groups that you are sensitive to protecting you may be aware of how dangerous it is to use guns and then to dehumanize the people affected...and to kill them.

    Should we wait for some lunatic to use a gun at an ACLU meeting to realize how dangerous this movie is?

    (My own view is that human life should not be taken by any government or anyone and that war is a last ditched effort to save oneself or one's nation. Killing is justified imo when used to protect oneself. Your own religion has said the US has a culture of death...)

  • colleen||

    Examples of hate speech directed at liberals:

    I tell people don't kill all the liberals.
    Leave enough so we can have two on every campus -- living fossils -- so we will never forget what these people stood for." -- Rush Limbaugh

    "I would have no problem with [New York Times editor Bill Keller] being sent to the gas chamber." -- Melanie Morgan

    ""[T]he day will come when unpleasant things are going to happen to a bunch of stupid liberals and it's going to be very amusing to watch." -- Lee Rogers

    "And if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead." -- Bill O'Reilly

    "Howard Dean should be arrested and hung for treason or put in a hole until the end of the Iraq war!"-- Michael Reagan

    "Some liberals have become even too crazy for Texas to execute, which is a damn shame. They're always saying -- we're oppressed, we're oppressed so let's do it. Let's oppress them." -- Ann Coulter

    "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee. ... That's just a joke, for you in the media." -- Ann Coulter

    My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building." -- Ann Coulter

    "We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed too." -- Ann Coulter

    And Joe Wilson has no right to complain. And I think people like Tim Russert and the others, who gave this guy such a free ride and all the media, they're the ones to be shot, not Karl Rove. -- Rep. Peter King (R)

    Where does George Soros have all his money? Do you know? Do you know where George Soros, the big left-wing loon who's financing all these smear [web]sites, do you know where his money is? Curaçao. Curaçao. They ought to hang this Soros guy. -- Bill O'Reilly

    "Has there ever been a more revealing moment this year?" Mr. Rove asked. "Let me just put this in fairly simple terms: Al Jazeera now broadcasts the words of Senator Durbin to the Mideast, certainly putting our troops in greater danger. No more needs to be said about the motives of liberals." -- Karl Rove

    Miller is not alone, though some are more sanguine when it comes to evaluating the roster of contenders. Here's a note I got recently from a friend and former Delta Force member, who has been observing American politics from the trenches: "These bastards like Clark and Kerry and that incipient ass, Dean, and Gephardt and Kucinich and that absolute mental midget Sharpton, race baiter, should all be lined up and shot." -- Kathleeen Parker

  • ||

    The problem with conservatives' "views" on liberals is that they're not true. Limbaugh and his ilk have led an enormous industry based on selling a false bill of goods to their constituents. They use fear, lies and anger to get their way.

    This wet fart of a movie just plays on those lies. For a joke to be funny, it has to have an element of truth. I predict this will be one singularly unfunny film.

    RC Dean revealed a lot with this simple phrase: "most of the liberals I hear about ..."

    Yeah. The ones he hears about. Not the ones that actually exist, but the made-up boogeymen Limbaugh shrieks about.

    I personally have never met the sort of liberal RC Dean hears about, but I've met plenty of conservatives who, as far as I can tell, really do hate America's values: Separation of church and state, habeas corpus, co-equal branches of government, the right to not be spied on. They angrily, viciously attack anyone who suggests that it's not the place of the government to promote religion, or that we should make some attempt to find out if the prisoners at Guantanamo are actually guilty.

    Liberals defend these values. So-called "values voters" are hell-bent on undoing them, and their weapons are fake history, religious paranoia and bogus economic theory.

  • ||

    I am so glad I hadn't eaten before I read about this. Still, I think I threw up a little. This is probably the most disgusting and immoral thing I've heard this week, and this week has produced some real doozies.

    Here's hoping this bombs like it deserves to.

  • ||

    "So this tripe is getting green-lit while Atlas Shrugged is stuck in pre-production hell. Does that seem right to you?"

    Apparently the glass is half full.

  • ||

    >BTW, was anyone else surprised and aroused to learn Jolie was a huge Ayn Rand fan?

    Neither, in my case. Exceptionally successful people are often very pleased to find that they are solely responsible for their success by virtue of being exceptional to begin-with. The fact that, though her body is certainly good-looking to me, her face seems like that of an humanoid alien, makes it easy to see her accept ideas that mostly alienate humanity. Well, at least it means she might be a good spokesperson for atheism....

    See:
    http://www.saintaardvarkthecarpeted.com/images/ayn_seal_of_approval_button.jpg

  • ||

    >Me, Republican, Conservative, Right Wing, Neocon, paleocon, all the smearing adjectives you can come up with.. and proud of it. Now, aren't I special??!!

    Why, yes, you are, given that:
    * Neocons are in favour of a strong domestic welfare state as part of their left-heritage and their "national greatness" fetiche.
    * Paleocons hate the welfare state, and think the nocons are a bunch of Jews, and so not real men, and so not worthy of backing National Greatness
    * "Right wing" includes a great number of people who hate the paleocons and neocons for not being pro-business or pro-torture enough (some paleos)
    * "Republican" includes many who hate all of the above, as part of being the One True Nationalkapitalistische Amerikanische Inhaberpartei

    If you embody so much so self-contradictorily at once, why not add "theocon" to it, since the Scudderites basically see the rest of them as Chaff destined for the Fire? You already contain multitudes....*

    (I _am_ sorry if you've been smeared with all of the above, especially as it probably indicates a lack of nuance on the part of your opponents on my side of things, which of course includes a great many fools and ninnies...speaking of which, thanks for taking Holy Joe off our hands---just change his bedding every couple of days, o.k.?, and feed him all the Pepto Bismol his galloping dyspepsia might require. He once was a good man [c. 1962 C.E.] and deserves respect therefor.)

    *Hope I didn't induce some sort of panic in ye by likening you unto Whitman.

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