Join McCain's Spam Squadrons!

The Washington Post reports:

On McCain's Web site, visitors are invited to "Spread the Word" about the presumptive Republican nominee by sending campaign-supplied comments to blogs and Web sites under the visitor's screen name. The site offers sample comments ("John McCain has a comprehensive economic plan...") and a list of dozens of suggested destinations, conveniently broken down into "conservative," "liberal," "moderate" and "other" categories. Just cut and paste....

People who sign up for McCain's program receive reward points each time they place a favorable comment on one of the listed Web sites (subject to verification by McCain's webmasters). The points can be traded for prizes, such as books autographed by McCain, preferred seating at campaign events, even a ride with the candidate on his bus, known as the Straight Talk Express, according to campaign spokesman Brian Rogers.

Sure enough, here's spam central, complete with a warning that the "content of these sites is not controlled by the McCain campaign and may contain offensive material." Interestingly, the list of suggested blogs includes several -- InstaPundit, the Club for Growth -- that do not, in fact, let readers post comments. Hit & Run isn't included, but if you want to win that bus ride I'll be glad to help: I hereby invite commenters on this post, and this post only, to cut 'n' paste all the McCain talking points you can.

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  • Abdul||

    I love John McCain. He is better than "Cats." I'm going to see him again and again.

  • Nigel Watt||

    My friends...

  • ||

    Dear Editor,

    As a lifelong member of the Democrat party, I am concerned that Barack HUSSEIN Obama will not be as strong a candidate this November against Senator John McCain (USN-Ret) as the She-Beast, Hitlery...

  • ||

    It's spam -- QUICK!!! Blame Ron Paul!!!

    Evidence? Facts?? Who needs those???
    JMR

  • Guy Montag||

    Is McCain even human? I heard he was irish.

  • ||

    Oh, btw, the next thing that's going to happen is the innundation of this thread by commenters pretending not to understand the difference between asking people to spread a campaign's message in their own words, and bribing them to post talking points prepared by someone else.

  • Elemenope||

    How...delightful.

  • svf||

    There are serious issues at stake in this election, and serious differences between the candidates. And we will argue about them , as we should. But it should remain an argument among friends; each of us struggling to hear our conscience, and heed its demands; each of us, despite our differences, united in our great cause, and respectful of the goodness in each other.

  • Murphy||

    We, in Ireland, can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.

    On one side, you have a pants wearing lawyer, married to a lawyer who can't keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer who goes to the wrong church who is married to yet another lawyer who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run.

    Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate 'Mc' terminology married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship.

    What in Lord's name are ye lads thinking over there in the colonies??

  • Abdul||

    First prize is spending a day with John McCain.

    Second prize is spending two days. . .

  • Episiarch||

    Talking point numero uno: "I'm not George Bush!"

  • the innominate one||

    I bet Matt Welch would really enjoy a McCain-inscribed copy of McCain: The Myth of a Maverick, Jesse.

  • Episiarch||

    We, in Ireland, can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.

    Well, that's because you're drunk. When you sober up you'll realize that we can't figure it out either.

  • ||

    That's it. I'm throwing those racist spam cards under the viagra bus that's delivering my Nigerian oil royalties.

  • ||

    I bet the spam tards will actually be allowed to ride in a trailer towed behind the actual bus.

  • ||

    First prize is a chance to join the mile-high club with Cindy on her jet.

  • Orange Line Special||

    What's funny is that I've been banned at four of those sites: RedStateAndCrooksandLiars and ThinkProgressAndDailyKos. And, MyDD DeletedACoupleComments I left there.

    Also, I'm offering more than points, I'm offering cold, hard cash to those who ask one of my questions at a campaign appearance.

  • Guy Montag||

    When you sober up . . .

    BAHAHAHAHA!

  • ||

    Murphy,
    nice analysis. Do you know what the word 'war' means?

  • ||

    Truly a stupid idea. Also stupid that they are including Instapundit on their list, which doesn't even have reader comments.

  • Proud Vet||

    I am afraid for our country that in this moment of crisis the American people might foolishly elect a big government liberal who will destroy our great traditions of individual liberty, personal responsibility, and hands-on, can-do self sufficiency.It wouldn't be as bad as if they elect that inexperienced Black Muslim communist but we all know THAT isn't going to happen.

  • ||

    John McCain wears flag pins.

    John McCain recites the pledge.

    John McCain loves the pledge.

    If it were a woman, John McCain would make sweet love to the Pledge by the fireplace while wearing a flag pin.

    If it were a man, John McCain would consider taking a wide-stance in a stall next to the Pledge.

  • ||

    On his age: "Shut up, you little jerk!"

  • MattXIV||

    Cold-filtered John McCain tastes great with half the calories of other candidates.

  • Nigel Watt||

    John McCain will make you as happy as Smilin' Bob, and for the same reasons.

  • BDB||

    At least McCain supporters won't plaster the spam on like a trollop, cunt.

  • Murphy||

    Do you know what the word 'war' means?

    And if you don't know, I'm not tellin.

  • MattXIV||

    Frosted John McCain; he's magically delicious!

  • ||

    Bomb, bomb, bomb
    Bomb, bomb Iran.
    Bomb, bomb, bomb
    Bomb, bomb Iran.

  • ||

    Now with TWICE the repressed rage!!!

  • ||

    John McCain for President! He'll make sure we're better than Czechoslovakia!

  • ||

    Oh shit, not the magic bus, it's the staight talk express?

    Belay my last.

  • Mad Max||

    Murphy,

    "Colonies?" at least we broke off our affiliation with Great Britain long before 1949:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_members_of_the_Commonwealth_of_Nations#Former_members

  • BDB||

    Jeeze, how could you confuse Miss Frizzle with John McCain!?

  • Fluffy||

    J sub D beat me to the obvious joke.

    Let me think of another suitable McCain talking point...OK here's one:

    "I hope lots of Iranians smoke cigarettes and then get cancer and die!"

  • Fluffy||

    Oh wait, here's a better one:

    "I am not interested in trade with Muslim countries because I don't want to buy no burkhas!"

  • Murphy||

    Mad Max, have a Bushmills and take a deep breath.

  • Ravac||

    MC CAIN!
    APPLY DIRECTLY TO IRAN!
    MC CAIN!
    APPLY DIRECTLY TO IRAN!
    MC CAIN!
    APPLY DIRECTLY TO IRAN!

  • Justin Slotman||

    In the version I received of the "why are you bothering to hold an election?" e-mail the country was Denmark.

  • Murphy||

    Who cares why Denmark is having an election?

  • ||

    If I could find Paris Hilton's cut and paste spam web site, I could find my "voice" here!

    Ruthless

  • ||

    John McCain: older, whiter, angrier, and more bitterly clingy than the other guy.

  • Justin Slotman||

    Murphy: BA-BOOM!

    Also: TIRE GAGUES! The very idea is laughable, and proves Barack is unserious! Passing out tire gagues at Obama events is state of the art Republican memetic engineeering!

  • ||

    John McCain
    If you disagree with him on foreign policy, you're just naive, my friend

  • ||

    I bet the spam tards will actually be allowed to ride in a trailer towed behind the actual bus.

    The Short Bus Express?

    Murphy | August 7, 2008, 2:53pm | #

    Mad Max, have a Bushmills and take a deep breath.


    Me too? Please?

  • John McCain||

    See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together for over five years. Hopefully, you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Major Coolidge would be talking right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is I'm talking to you, Butch. I got something for ya. [Holds up watch] This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first world war. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee, made by the first company to ever make wrist watches. Up until then, people just carried pocket watches. It was bought by Private Doughboy Ryan Coolidge the day he set sail for Paris. This was your great-grandfather's war watch, and he wore it every day he was in the war. Then when he had done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the watch and put it in an old coffee can. And in that can it stayed 'til your granddad Dane Coolidge was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight the Germans once again. This time they called it World War Two. Your great-granddad gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's. Dane was a Marine and he was killed along with all the other Marines at the battle of Wake Island. Your granddad was facing death, and he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leaving that island alive. So three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport named Winocki, a man he had never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he had never seen in the flesh, his gold watch. Three days later, your grandfather was dead. But Winocki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father, his Dad's gold watch. This watch. This watch was on your Daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured and put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew if the gooks ever saw the watch that it'd be confiscated; taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

    Do you think Barack Obama would show that same devotion to his country? I don't think so.

  • ||

    "I am not interested in trade with Muslim countries because I don't want to buy no burkhas!"

    There's no way he fucking said that? If it's true, he's going to pissed when he finds out Cindy's been spending big bucks on Egyptian cotton.

  • Ganja Blue||

    @Murphy We've traded one tyrant 3000 miles away for 3000 tyrants one mile away. You are correct to call us colonies, we just serve a different king now.

  • Episiarch||

    The Short Bus Express?

    HAHAHA

  • ||

    Oh, btw, the next thing that's going to happen is the innundation of this thread by commenters pretending not to understand the difference between asking people to spread a campaign's message in their own words, and bribing them to post talking points prepared by someone else.

    The latter are smart enough to insist on getting paid for carting electronic horseshit around?

  • Other Matt||

    Whatever idiot in McCain's campaign who thought this was a good idea should be packing bags about now. Unbelievable. As far as "getting the word out", that's ok, it's politics and way too common. This reward part...priceless.

  • Team America||

    Does meta-policy count, too? It even comes with fscked-up apostrophe (looks like an utf-8 problem in the program "akregator".)

    Select from the numerous web, blog and news sites listed here, go there, and make your opinions supporting John McCain known. Once you’ve commented on a post, video or news story, report the details of your comment by clicking the button below. After your comments are verified, you will be awarded points through the McCain Online Action Center.

  • Greg||

    John McCain has a comprehensive globalization overhaul, so American consumers should engage in multilateral terrorism empowerment among schools.

    John McCain believes well-meaning foreclosures promote greater transparency and prove creditworthiness in the Iraq and Afghanistan operations

    John McCain will repeal imported sugar-based ethanol and roll back corn-based food and add-ons in FY 2007 and 2008.

    John McCain will improve the quality of seniors used in medical science.

    John McCain believes we must understand a zero-emissions car, Brazil, and a carbon footprint.

    John McCain would love to quit and take a few years off to raise the children.

  • Murphy||

    Mad Max, have a Bushmills and take a deep breath.

    Me too? Please?


    Served neat, with a wee pitcher of water on the side.

  • T||

    The latter are smart enough to insist on getting paid for carting electronic horseshit around?

    And here I thought most of us were distributing our electronic horseshit for free. Who here's getting paid?

  • ||

    If you can turn in McCain points for Bushmill's, I'm going to have a serious crisis of conscience.

  • Murphy||

    Who here's getting paid?

    Do you mean by the people who employ us and whose work isn't getting done right now?

  • ||

    Since he's paying other people to go to the web sites, does this mean the senator has given up on his attempt to learn how to get on himself and use the Google?

    "...after posting the comment, please print it out on that green-and-white striped paper, then walk it over to Senator McCain's desk and deposit it in the box marked 'In.' Don't forget to remove the strips of paper with the little holes from each side of the page!

    In 4-6 weeks, you will recieve a telegram informing you of your new McCain Points total..."

  • ||

    I saved the S&H green stamps for YEARS and all I got was a stupid wooden tennis racket (back then, they were ALL wooden). How many McCain points for a Harrier jet?

  • Elemenope||

    Some really good ones, but so far Greg's @ 3:20pm is my favorite.

  • ||

    We, in Ireland, can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States.

    If we elect McCain, he insists we invade another country. Can we invade Ireland? Because otherwise it'll be Iran, and as a likely draftee in Gulf War III; Surrender Our National Dignity, Irish would be a much easier language to learn than Farsi.

  • ||

    The Irish put Gaelic street signs not because they can read it, but because the English can't.

  • ||

    I don't think there actually is a language called "Gaelic." I think the United Irishmen came up with the world's longest-running practical joke on the English.

    It's not called "North Sheepton." It's "Cwrermeewernes ne Errereyhrmeety."

    OK. How do you pronounce that?

    "North Sheepton."

  • Technomist||

    "This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first world war. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee, made by the first company to ever make wrist watches. Up until then, people just carried pocket watches. It was bought by Private Doughboy Ryan Coolidge the day he set sail for Paris."

    The lady's wrist watch was invented in 1868 by Patek Phillipe. There is evidence men's wrist watches were used by the Britsh Army in the Boer War (1899-1902). Omega were selling them commercially in Germany from 1902 in large numbers, though Cartier claim the Santos is the original commercial man's wristwatch.

    Do I think Barack Obama would show the same devotion to his country as to lie about wristwatches? I do, but he didn't have the wit. He was too busy lying about having an uncle who stormed Auschwitz. so.

  • ||

    If you can turn in McCain points for Bushmill's, I'm going to have a serious crisis of conscience.

    You and me bot, joe. Bushmill's ain't Tullamore Dew, but it's a damned fine whiskey.

  • ||

    *awkwardly shifts feet while trying not to make eye contact with Technonomist*

    I'll have you know, J sub D, that I am no bot. Look, here's a picture of when I was a little girl. Look at it. There was a spider...

  • Ska||

    Not that I'm a watch historian or anthing but perhaps he's referring to a Hamilton, often cited as the first American wrist watch, and perhaps the first to contract for the US Army.

    From their website:

    The Hamilton Watch Company was founded in Lancaster, Pennsylvania in 1892.
    During the second decade of the 20th century Hamilton gained the prestigious rank of supplier to the US Armed Forces. The first of the wrist-watches provided was used by General "Black Jack" Pershing and his troops who were fighting in the European trenches.


    I only knew about this because I have their Frogman watch, a remake of the WWII watch used in the army. I also loved that in Band of Brothers Maj. Winters and Capt. Nixon can be seen wearing one.

    I also had to defend the use of that great Pulp Fiction dialogue.

  • ||

    "not insane"

  • ||

    joe, The very fact that you deny botness is further evidence that you are indeed a bot.

    A bot with good taste in adult beverages, but still one the bot brotherhood.

  • lunchstealer||

    It would've been so much easier to do this if Giuliani had won the primary.

    9/11
    9/11
    9/11
    Islamofascists
    9/11
    9/11
    Islamofascists
    9/11
    9/11
    9/11
    9/11
    9/11
    Islamofascists
    9/11
    9/11
    Islamofascists
    9/11
    Islamofascists
    Islamofascists
    9/11

  • ||

    Personally,I'm voting for John McCain because I look forward to federally mandated minimum viewing of four hours of Matlock a day.

    Who's with me?

  • ||

    Personally,I'm voting for John McCain because I look forward to federally mandated minimum viewing of four hours of Matlock a day.

    Who's with me?


    Not I. When television programming involves old actors who used to portray comedic hillbillies recast in a stale drama genre I'm a Barnaby Jones kind of guy.

    I hope you understand.

  • BakedPenguin||

    John McCain: He'll keep the Iranians off your lawn.

  • johnl||

    Come on guys. John McCain has brought an unmatched level of entropy to this campaign. Yet he's consistent. For seven decades, he's exerted a force on the planet. And how many Hit and Runners can claim as much?

  • ||

    John McCain is SO not aware of all internet traditions.

  • McNulty||

    Bushmills? That's Protestant whisky!

GET REASON MAGAZINE

Get Reason's print or digital edition before it’s posted online

  • Progressive Puritans: From e-cigs to sex classifieds, the once transgressive left wants to criminalize fun.
  • Port Authoritarians: Chris Christie’s Bridgegate scandal
  • The Menace of Secret Government: Obama’s proposed intelligence reforms don’t safeguard civil liberties

SUBSCRIBE

advertisement