The Puppetmasters

Jesse Walker | June 23, 2008

(when reading this post, it's best to imagine that I'm speaking in a nervous and desperate tone, arms waving frantically, eyes alight with paranoia. my more prescient readers do this already.)

"That toy over there...looks cute and harmless, doesn't it? You'd never think twice about letting your child cuddle up with it at night. You wouldn't be so sanguine if you saw its terrible true form -- the strange and alien robot hidden beneath the fur."

Comments

jtuf|6.23.08 @ 1:31PM|#

Just about anything with skin looks better with it on.

Episiarch|6.23.08 @ 1:37PM|#

my more prescient readers do this already

How did you know?

Ska|6.23.08 @ 1:37PM|#

I was wondering where my giant unfinished ET pez dispenser went.

|6.23.08 @ 1:42PM|#

So much smoother and whiter than my skeleton.

Jealous.

Bingo|6.23.08 @ 1:43PM|#

Apparently, the pure evil that is Tickle-Me-Elmo is contained in that tiny box. Without the box, its just a standard lovable plush toy. However, when you add the box, the gates of hell open and a demon is summoned into the red fuzzy form. God help us all, its like the reverse Ark of the Covenant.

|6.23.08 @ 1:44PM|#

You'd never twice about letting your child cuddle up with it at night.

I'd never three times either.

|6.23.08 @ 1:47PM|#

We are going to publicly tear the skin off of a few of our interns to show how cruel and thoughtless it is to rip the skin off a Tickle Me Elmo.

|6.23.08 @ 1:57PM|#

Kwix,
But would you thrice?

short, fat bastard|6.23.08 @ 1:59PM|#

What would Dick Chenney look like if we stripped him down the underlying robot?

TallDave|6.23.08 @ 2:02PM|#

Just wait for the sexbots.

lunchstealer|6.23.08 @ 2:19PM|#

Is anyone else baffled by the weird mer-panda (just below the valentine frog)?

I've seen all sorts of creative license taken with anatomy, but the way the feet-flipper things just hang from the end of its boneless torso is just not something I can wrap my brain around.

Jesse Walker|6.23.08 @ 2:26PM|#

Fixed, Kwix. Thanks.

D.A. Ridgely |6.23.08 @ 2:33PM|#

I can only assume the drugs have started to take effect.

lunchstealer|6.23.08 @ 2:48PM|#

I can only assume the drugs have started to take effect.

Come to think of it, we do seem to be around Barstow, on the edge of the desert. And I do feel a bit light-headed. Maybe you should drive.

Guy Montag|6.23.08 @ 2:58PM|#

Just wait for the sexbots.

You mean they are building a life sized version of those new little Japanese cuddle-bots?

Jervas|6.23.08 @ 5:25PM|#

For shame! The fact that no one has linked to this yet is appalling.

Metal Messiah|6.24.08 @ 2:12AM|#

That site... it's like a cross between Romper Room and Hostel...