Freud Had Dreams Like This All Through Puberty

Authorities say 69-year-old central Florida woman found an 8-foot long alligator prowling in her kitchen late Monday night.

Sandra Frosti says the gator must have pushed through the back porch screen door and then went inside through an open sliding glass door at her home in Oldsmar, just north of Tampa. It then apparently strolled through the living room, down a hall and into the kitchen.

A trapper with Animal Capture of Florida removed the alligator, which was cut by a plate that was knocked to the ground during the chaos. But no one inside the house was injured.

More here.

Can we slap some political significance on this? A global warming angle maybe? A Dr. Zaius-like warning about humans living where they don't belong? A suggestion this wouldn't have happened if Republican primary voters had gone for Rudy G.?

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  • Ska||

    Soon after, it was discovered that Ms. Frosti was ogling the reptile's exposed pubic area and a warrant was issued for her arrest.

  • ||

    What's worse than hailing taxicabs? Strolling alligators. OK, it doesn't really fit, but I thought it was funny. "Strolled"? How about "waltzed" or "ambled" or "swaggered"? Or maybe "walked"? But I guess you don't get to write many stories about eight-foot alligators in the kitchen. Yeah, eight-foot alligators do the darnest things! Maybe they're natural house pets.

  • Episiarch||

    Can we slap some political significance on this?

    No, but I will note that on Miami Vice, Sonny had a pet alligator on his boat named Elvis whom he fed entire bags of dog food.

  • ||

    On the 911 call, the operator suggested that she saw an iguana.

    Maye it's just me, but I think "I KNOW A FUCKING ALLIGATOR WHEN I SEE IT!" would have been my response.

    Of course, I did once ask a 911 operator how long it would be until "retard shift was over and I could talk to someone with half a brain."

  • Episiarch||

  • Miggs||

    Ms. Frosti's house is now a alligator nesting area, so federal law prevents her from shooing the gator away. Also, the back door cannot be repaired, as it might impede the alligator's ability to come and go.

  • Taktix®||

    See you later, Alli...

    Aw shucks, I just can't do it.

  • ||

    So many reasons not to live in Florida.

  • ||

    I think seeing an eight-foot iguana would be even freakier - I mean, everyone knows alligators get that big, but an iguana? I'd be wondering if Monty Burns was burying nuclear waste in my backyard.

  • ||

    Maybe it is a combination of Disney cartoons and Christian teachings, mixed with some Milton Friedman free market thinking...

    There is this idea among much of America that nature should be conserved. However, it should be conserved there and not here. And, the only PC way to conserve it is to not tinker with it in any way (sort of Friedman meets Thoreau). In most cases, tinker means hunting (but can also be anti-forest fire measures, removal of invasive species, et al).

    One problem with this idea is that the apex predators are missing from many "preserved" spaces. I'm not talking about wolves or pumas, but hunters. The other problem is that the animals don't stick to their boundaries. When they run out of food or are driven off by bigger rivals, they end up in OUR areas. Silly animals, don't they realize their mistake? It is alligators in Florida but yesterday a bear did the same thing in NJ. An alligator or bear in your kitchen is not a Disney cartoon on your TV, it is a serious breakdown in our conservation model driven by PETA types who view animals as equals with the reasoned capacity to decide to live on their reservations in harmony with us on ours.

  • Taktix®||

    On the 911 call, the operator suggested that she saw an iguana.

    Not to defend the 911 operator, but this is Florida we're talking about. How many times do you think the operator received calls from old ladies claiming to see all sorts of strange animals or that the landscaper is a burglar, etc.?

  • Fluffy||

    One interesting and useful comment I saw over at Rockwell's site noted that as nature bounces back in the US, strict gun control on the British model looks more and more asinine.

    America is full of dangerous animals and Britain is not. Man is superior to Nature primarily because he has weapons. Leaving aside the issue of crime and even my pet issue of resistance to tyranny, gun control in the US seems like a bad idea to me because one day you might want to kill a fucking bear and unless you want to kill it with a sharp stick like Anthony Hopkins in The Edge you better have a gun around.

  • ||

    Of course, I did once ask a 911 operator how long it would be until "retard shift was over and I could talk to someone with half a brain."

    I'm guessing the cops/ambulances/firetrucks took their sweet time, no?

  • ||

    joe,

    As opposed to Massachusetts? Hah!

    Oldsmar is actually northwest (emphasis on the west) of Tampa, not north. I live within a few miles of where this happened. Personally, I don't see what her problem was. We have snakes and gators in our pools down here--why not just accept it and make them feel welcome? He probably was just looking for a vat-grown ham sandwich or something.

    I'm always telling my wife not to leave the sliding glass doors open to the pool. She's traditionally responded that the pool screen will keep critters out. I've always said that she was crazy wrong. At last, I have the final word on the subject.

  • ||

    So many reasons not to live in Florida.

    True dat, joe.

    As opposed to Massachusetts? Hah!

    Ditto, PL.

  • ||

    There's nothing in Massachusetts that eats you.

    I treasure that; it's part of our heritage.

  • Episiarch||

    because one day you might want to kill a fucking bear

    I imagine having a bear/alligator/cougar actually in your house would be extremely scary, and I would, for sure, gun it down.

    However, since a) gun control is on the retreat already, and b) has a serious 2nd Amendment hurdle to get over anyway, the need for shooting invading bears won't have much of an impact on this issue.

  • sally||

    There are some special orders at Gmlvl.com, with a low price(20%-50% discount) and a rich package.
    12 hours' free leveling is offered for any custom order.
    http://www.gmlvl.com

  • Episiarch||

    There's nothing in Massachusetts that eats you.

    joe, we are seeing a resurgence of black bears and cougars in New England. My mom actually saw a bear amble across the road 1/4 mile from my parent's house a few years ago.

    Granted, they're not brown bears or gators but we do have them and they are increasing.

  • Fluffy||

    There's nothing in Massachusetts that eats you.

    Can a black bear eat a really short person?

    I keep waiting for some tiny Berkshire county second home New Yorker to get eaten by one.

    Waiting, hoping, what's in a verb?

  • ||

    joe,

    Sounds decadent to me.

  • Taktix®||

    Can anyone spot the intellectual gap between these WOW bots and Lone Wacko?

    I can't...

  • ||

    Incidentally, that 'gator in the kitchen photo is awesome.

  • ||

    Black bears don't eat you. They're small, and non-aggressive.

    Cougars, maybe.

  • Episiarch||

    Black bears don't eat you. They're small, and non-aggressive.

    Try getting between momma and her cubs and we'll see about "non-agressive".

    But overall, yes, they are pretty mild. Still, if you were walking in the woods and you realized there was a bear 20 feet away, I can pretty much guarantee you'd get freaked. We all would.

  • ||

    Not me. My pet 10-foot alligator would take the bear down.

  • ||

    She still wouldn't eat you. Momma bear isn't going to lay in wait to get at you, or chase you down.

    Stumbling across one is quite a bit less dangerous that something decided you're yummy.

    Aligators grab people and pull them under, to kill them so they can eat them.

    I just don't need to be worrying about that.

  • ||

    joe,

    Your fear makes you weak. Soon, waves after waves of warriors hardened by the deadly environment of Flalusa Floridus will flow across America in victorious conquest.

  • ||

    Then I'll have to show them my snow shovel-fu.

    Hi-yah!

  • Episiarch||

    joe, I can loan you a 20-guage if you want. To kill moose with, of course.

  • ||

    I thought this appropriate.

  • ||

    I'm not talking about wolves or pumas, but hunters.



    Actually the political angle here might be how well endangered Species rebound after a couple of decades on the Endagered Species list.

    Gators have rebounded so well that they are not off the list but are now subject to a hunting season. Events like this are the reason quotas are increased each year. The season does not apply to the ones that went to that school in Gainesville though.

    joe, while bears do not prey on relatively large mammals (like alligators do) they are still large and dangerous and will kill if they feel threatened.

  • ||

    Should read:

    "Gators have rebounded so well that they are not only off the list...

  • ||

    Isaac,

    Thanks for carving out a UF exception. I was worried there for a minute.

    What's fun about alligators is that they are migratory, moving from golf course water hazard to golf course water hazard unimpeded by human civilization. It's surprising that this sort of thing doesn't happen more often.

  • ||

    J sub,

    That guy's dead, right?

  • Taktix®||

    What's fun about alligators is that they are migratory, moving from golf course water hazard to golf course water hazard unimpeded by human civilization. It's surprising that this sort of thing doesn't happen more often.

    It seems to me that swampland is one terrain we have yet to conquer. Sure, on an open field, you have chance at taking a gator, by try that in two feet of muck and reeds.

  • A little sense||

    Joe:

    Black bears only eat you if you look like a donut.

  • ||

    I like it when I'm pausing for a moment from paddling a kayak, when I look to my right and see a 12-ft. alligator hanging out about six feet away.

    Florida invictus, indeed.

  • lunchstealer||

    "Strolled"? How about "waltzed" or "ambled" or "swaggered"?

    Clearly the correct verb here should have been 'sauntered'.

  • Rhywun||

    I'm with joe. My grandma once described to me, in horror, some of the insect life she found after moving down there. No thanks.

  • Mike Laursen||

    A global warming angle maybe?

    Always. I picked up a magazine at the vets' office yesterday with a cover story on "How Global Warming Will Affect Your Pet". They came up with was: (a) your pet may need to drink more water; (b) you may have to deworm your dog; (c) your pet could drown (if you live in New Orleans).

    Disclaimer: No, I am not a denialist, but the global-warming tie-in stories can get pretty damned ridiculous.

  • Chuck||

    This isn't all that unusual. A couple of years ago, a gator got into one of our buildings on campus. He got close enough to the door to trip the motion sensor, the automatic doors opened, and he strolled right in. Dumbass couldn't figure out how to get himself out though, so we had to call animal control.

  • ||

    I think I see a trend. Northeasterners are weak and decadent. Floridians are strong and growing stronger, with our weak culled by aggressive predators and diseases. Note how we only allow your nonbreeding seniors to come down here. . .with their money. And evading their insanely bad driving also serves to make us stronger and more dangerous.

  • ||

    And evading their insanely bad driving also serves to make us stronger and more dangerous.

    Apparently, you have never been to Albuquerque. That place makes Dade county look like rural Wisconsin.

  • Urkobold™||

    PRO MINIONTATE IS CORRECT. THE URKOBOLD IS CONDUCTING A MASSIVE EUGENICS PROGRAM IN FLORIDA, FROM HIS BASE OF OPERATIONS IN TAINTSVILLE. EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS THERE IS PLANNED AND PLAYS A ROLE IN IMPROVING HOMO SAPIENS FLORIDIANENSIS. SOON THE URKOBOLD'S PEOPLE WILL BE READY TO ACCOMPLISH THE URKOBOLD'S SECRET GOALS.

    NOW THAT IT IS TOO LATE FOR ANYONE TO STOP THE URKOBOLD, HE WILL REVEAL THAT THE HOME-INVADING ALLIGATOR WAS THERE FOR A REASON--TO SEEK OUT BREEDING AGE WOMEN SO THAT THE URKOBOLD CAN BEGIN TO CROSS-BREED MEN AND ALLIGATORS.

    MANIGATORS! OR, PERHAPS, ALLIGAHUMANS? HMMM, THE URKOBOLD IS DISSATISFIED WITH THESE NAMES. MUST THINK ABOUT IT LONGER. HOMOTILES?

  • Episiarch||

    Gatormensch.

  • ||

    That guy's dead, right?

    In the age of YouTube, does anybody really die?

  • Urkobold™||

    EPISIARCH! YOUR GENIUS SHALL BE REWARDED! GATORMENSCH IST PERFEKT!

    VIKING MINION! GIVE EPISIARCH A COOKIE!

  • ||

    "HE WILL REVEAL THAT THE HOME-INVADING ALLIGATOR WAS THERE FOR A REASON--TO SEEK OUT BREEDING AGE WOMEN SO THAT THE URKOBOLD CAN BEGIN TO CROSS-BREED MEN AND ALLIGATORS."

    Too bad he came across the house of a 69 year-old woman.
    I guess the search must continue...

  • Episiarch||

    Cookie! Cookie!

    (claps hands)

  • ||

    Brought over from wrong thread (hey, everyone there was talking about tasty meat):

    Oh, and yes, PL, I think it's very important to delineate the UF Gator hunting exception.

    After all, down in Miami a few years ago some sporting types took the term "tourist season" a little too literally.

  • ||

    HOMOTILES?

    Keep working on it. Floridians should humbly take note of the toxonomic name Alligator mississippiensis.

  • Urkobold™||

    THE URKOBOLD IS IMPRESSED BY THE INTELLECTUAL PROWESS OF THE LATEST ITERATION OF HIT & RUN COMMENTERS. YES, RANA, THE URKOBOLD'S ALLIGATOR MINIONS OCCASIONALLY STRAY INTO THE WRONG HOMES.

    VIKING MINION! TERMINATE RANA WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE! SHE KNOWS TOO MUCH!

  • ||

    Fuck off, Urkobold!

    You and your dopey humigators can't touch me; my secret moonbase fortress is impregnable!

  • Urkobold™||

    FOOL! NOWHERE WILL ESCAPE THE REACH OF THE GATORMENSCHEN! THE URKOBOLD'S PLANS TO DEVELOP CHEAP MANNED (RATHER, GATORED, OR MAYBE GATORMENSCHED. . .CERTAINLY, TROLLED) ACCESS TO THE MOON ARE WELL UNDERWAY.

    VIKING MINION! THROW YOUR HEAD BACK AND LAUGH MANIACALLY!

  • ||

    Mighty Urkobold™, I am afraid that Viking Minion may be permanently unavailable to meet your commands, as Episiarch himself provided joe with a 12 ga. shotty with which to hunt moose(mooses, meese?). Odd that Viking Moose's demise comes on Hit & Run and the Urkobold homesite, where he is ruthlessly hunted, and many attempts have been made on his life.

  • ||

    "not" on the Urkobold homesite.

  • Urkobold™||

    BUT WHO WILL LAUGH MANIACALLY FOR THE URKOBOLD AND RUN PIDDLING LITTLE ERRANDS FOR HIM? WHO?

  • Episiarch||

    (rubs hands, looks around shiftily)

    My plan may have succeeded perfectly...joe may have removed that meddling moose from my path to URKOBOLD Minion.

    (giggles maniacally under breath, drools slightly)

  • ||

    Actually, I haven't seen any moose, but I'm keeping a look out from the front porch.

    There are some squirrels in Lowell who know how to trick out a Civic with a lowered suspension and huge woofers, but no moose.

  • ||

    You mean from under the front porch, you coward. I'm going to free hundreds of baby 'gators near your house this summer.

  • Financial Management||

    In the wake of 9/11, the United States would have been better off to leave Sadaam Hussein in power because HE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH 9/11. ZIP. NADA. SQUAT.

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