Million Lemmings March

Matt Welch | April 9, 2008

News that Iraqi cleric Moqtada al-Sadr had called off his planned "Million-Man March" against the U.S. occupation (while also pondering withdrawal from the eight-month ceasefire that has reduced violence levels in the country) is a timely reminder that few things in this world are as resonant as particularly inspired acts of American political branding.

In the 11.5 12.5 years since probably less than a million black men descended upon the capital, we've had the semi-coherent follow-up Million Family March, the related Million Father March and Million Woman March, the 10th anniversary Millions More Movement, plus the anti-gun Million Mom March, the pro-gun Million Gun March, the 10,000-strong Million Worker March, Robert Mugabe's Million Man March in Zimbabwe, the Million Step March across North Carolina, the impeach-Bush Million Phone March, the obesity-fightin' Million Calorie March, a Million Mind March organized by somebody named Rebecca, the Million Musicians March in Austin (of course) to free Tibet (of course), the self-explanatory Million Marijuana March, and the recent Million Fag March against the crazy Westboro Baptist Church. I for one am looking forward to the upcoming Million Paul March, the Million DJ March this August, and the Million Robot March of 2056.

I was first awed by the power of American political sloganeering some time in the early 1990s, when a Czech politician was looking for a catchy new tough-on-crime law, but lacked the powerful national metaphor of baseball (on account of Czechs not having any clue how to play it). His solution? "Three Strikes Are Enough!"

Comments

matt|4.9.08 @ 9:34AM|#

"particularly insipired"

I thought you were going to go with "insipid" there, but you took the other route.

I am a very slow reader.

|4.9.08 @ 9:35AM|#

My favorite is Victorious March. Hail Odin!

ed|4.9.08 @ 9:40AM|#

We're suckers for alliteration.

Guy Montag|4.9.08 @ 9:42AM|#

NHRA has a Million Horsepower March every week. If NASCAR would stop trying to be so politically correct and 'envirofriendly' they could have a Million Horsepower on the track, all at the same timne, every weekend.

Matt Welch|4.9.08 @ 9:52AM|#

I CAN HAZ SPELING?

Nutter|4.9.08 @ 10:01AM|#

Has anyone outside the US media used the phrase "Million Man March"? Presumably you don't get that catchy alliteration in Arabic.

Sledge Hammer|4.9.08 @ 10:07AM|#

Alliteration is so pedestrian.

Edward|4.9.08 @ 10:09AM|#

Has "Taxation is theft" caught on anywhere outside lunatic libertarian circles?

Abdul|4.9.08 @ 10:12AM|#

Once again, Madison Avenue does what the US government can't. Maybe we need a Million Marketer March?

LarryA|4.9.08 @ 10:29AM|#

If you "march" you have to be in step with each other.

Lots of Libertarians Loitering.

x,y|4.9.08 @ 10:30AM|#

Has "Taxation is theft" caught on anywhere outside lunatic libertarian circles?

No, but neither has "Edward is a dickweed."

Guy Montag|4.9.08 @ 10:35AM|#

The Lefties were against certain taxes in the 1960s and 1970s. They used this excuse to encourage ripping off the phone companies and popularized Phone Phreaking.

|4.9.08 @ 10:50AM|#

I was disappointed to find that the Million Calorie March wasn't 34 people all eating one of these.

|4.9.08 @ 11:03AM|#

Last year, I advocated a Million Monkey March (see #70).

|4.9.08 @ 11:18AM|#

How exactly does one ascertain whether a marijuana is a million or not?

Even though I\'m not British..|4.9.08 @ 11:27AM|#

Million Fag March

... I thought this would be protesting a smoking ban.

|4.9.08 @ 11:58AM|#

How exactly does one ascertain whether a marijuana is a million or not?

The DEA can put a number on it for you. And it's certain to be accurate.

TallDave|4.9.08 @ 11:59AM|#

Sadr is now offering to disband his militia. All the other political parties appear set to pass legislation that would bar him from elections if he doesn't.

Now we see why Maliki pushed this operation up from July; had he waited till then, the election laws would have already been finalized. By provoking the confrontation now, he gets everyone on his side for a critical piece of legislation, and Sadr's left outside looking in.

Pretty shrewd.

tarran|4.9.08 @ 12:11PM|#

Oh P.L.

That reminds me, how's Edward's lawsuit going?

Has he managed to give you "the horns" yet?

Colin|4.9.08 @ 12:18PM|#

You left out the Millen Man March in Detroit.

|4.9.08 @ 12:30PM|#

tarran,

He won. We all work for him now.

Gilbert Martin|4.9.08 @ 1:11PM|#

"NHRA has a Million Horsepower March every week. If NASCAR would stop trying to be so politically correct and 'envirofriendly' they could have a Million Horsepower on the track, all at the same timne, every weekend."

That reminds me of something the late, great Dale Earnhardt once said in response to NASCAR's initiating the restrictor plate rule at Daytona and Talledaga because they were afraid the cars were getting so fast they could go over the catch fence into the crowd:

"Build a taller fence".

|4.9.08 @ 1:24PM|#

In Africa and South America you can sometimes see the Million Ant March.

Guy Montag|4.9.08 @ 2:15PM|#

GM,

That is what I say about all US land borders.

|4.9.08 @ 3:28PM|#

pssst...going by right now:
It's the Million Amobea March!

DJ Taft|4.9.08 @ 4:40PM|#

Million DJ March! Woohooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Atleast we have a good one!

tarran|4.9.08 @ 5:04PM|#

"He won. We all work for him now."

And he let you keep the "libelous" quotes up? That's very magnanimous of him!

Who knew Edward was such a nice guy?

|4.9.08 @ 6:54PM|#

Hey, man, you don't talk to Edward. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll, uh, well, you'll say hello to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you, and he won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say do you know that if is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you--I mean I'm no, I can't --I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's, he's a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas--I mean--

|4.10.08 @ 12:43AM|#

So did *any* of these actually reach the million mark?

economist|4.10.08 @ 1:29PM|#

I sympathize with the participants in the million robot march of 2056, as I have always been a strong supporter of robot rights.

economist|4.10.08 @ 1:31PM|#

Edward,
Has "Edward is giant douche" caught on at the other blogs you visit?

economist|4.10.08 @ 1:35PM|#

tarran,
I saw the link. What's that about the lawsuit, though. Of course, I love the "Merry Fucking Xmas, douchebags". Shows what a wonderful, intelligent, caring individual Edward is. On the other had, maybe I shouldn't talk, in light of my last post.

Nicole Pratt|4.11.08 @ 5:53PM|#

Funny! im going to The Million DJ one cus i was too young to go to the Million Man one!