Put Christ Back in Christopher Hitchens

Jesse Walker | December 24, 2007

It is Christmas eve. All around the country parents are lying brazenly to their children; the children are pretending to believe them because they know there'll be a payoff by morning. It's a time-honored ritual that prepares the kids for politics, for dating, and for other grown-up customs.

My family doesn't have big Christmas plans this year. Indeed, my wife is going to spend the day working for holiday pay at the local paper. (December 25: It's the day the Jews really do run the media.) But before she leaves there will still be Christmas presents and Christmas music, possibly including one of my favorite carols:

And maybe some of the neighbors will add a rousing chorus from this one:

A merry Christmas, a happy Festivus, and a joyous Saturnalia to you all. I'll see you after the holiday.

Comments

|12.24.07 @ 7:20PM|#

I'm dreaming of a white... sabbath...

|12.24.07 @ 7:20PM|#

December 25: It's the day the Jews really do run the media.

Heh. Which reminds me of this SNL bit from a couple years ago...

The opening stanza goes something like this:

"On Christmas Eve the Gentiles gather
'Round the Christmas tree
They stay at home and party with
Their Goyishe family
They disappear one day each year
And pass the egg nog 'round
But it's all right, 'cause that's the night
The Jews control the town."

A merry Christmas, a happy Festivus, and a joyous Saturnalia to you all.

I'll drink to that! Happy Holidays everyone!

|12.24.07 @ 7:28PM|#

May you all have a glorious, fattening, drunken celebration in the name of the deity or non-deity of your choice.

It's 4:30 here. (or close enough)

Signing off and going home.

|12.24.07 @ 7:51PM|#

Favorite title ever.

Also, don't forget this message of peace on X-mas day

|12.24.07 @ 8:01PM|#

The Ramones suck.

M|12.24.07 @ 9:44PM|#

First put the Jes back in Jesse.

Jeez.

The Wine Commonsewer|12.24.07 @ 9:45PM|#

....pretending to believe....

The House Blond came and sat on my lap the other day and asked me if it was true. I laid my hand over her heart and told her it was all ever so true and that Santa lived right there (in her heart).

Ali|12.24.07 @ 10:59PM|#

Jesse,

A merry Christmas, a happy Festivus, and a joyous Saturnalia to you all. I'll see you after the holiday.

And happy Eid, no? It was a week or so ago. :-(

(I am just being silly really!)

|12.25.07 @ 12:34AM|#

My God, it's already happening . . . I've just finished touring all the major blogs, and they've stopped posting! It's going to be like this for hours, isn't it? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???

Let's see, what did I do before the Internet? Try to remember . . . a couple initials, an abbreviation, starting with a T . . . ah, yes -- TU! I'll watch some TU!

Well, I'm looking over at the box in the corner right now, and I don't see the mouse or keyboard, but I'm sure if I think back hard enough, I'll remember how it works . . . oh, wait -- Yahoo Games. I don't have to go offline, I can play Yahoo Games!

Phew, that was close. And now that I think about it, with all of its censor-ninnies home for the holidays, Youtube is probably filling with soft porn vidoes even as we speak. Why, this could be the best Christmas ever!

|12.25.07 @ 12:54AM|#

How did I know that Jesse Walker's virulent racism would prevent him from featuring this classic cut? I mean, how did I just know it?

Jesse Walker's core of unrepentant hatred has destroyed Christmas for all the world's children. Again.

|12.25.07 @ 11:45AM|#

I saw the Mummy kissing Santa Claus
Out around the pyramids last night.
It was so strange, you know,
To hear that "Ho, ho, ho,"
Coming from those wizened lips
That died so long ago.

And I saw the Mummy tickle Santa Claus
As they flew among the stars so bright.
The reindeer ran away
The Sphinx now pulls the sleigh
While the Mummy rides with Santa Claus tonight!

Guy Montag|12.25.07 @ 12:46PM|#

So, why is the staff of reason taking Christmas off if it is just another Tuesday?

|12.25.07 @ 2:28PM|#

Well, I'm working Christmas, but I did spend yesterday enjoying "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and that other Christmas classic: "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians". Hurray for Santy Claus!

|12.25.07 @ 2:52PM|#

I wish for all attending this site a peaceful, prosperous, joyful day filled with the love and kindness of family and friends.

Guy Montag|12.25.07 @ 3:01PM|#

Michael A. Clem,

Actually, I am working today too because I was supposed to be working from home yesterday and have to have a policy memo re-worked by tomorrow.

Celebrated Christmas with my son yesterday before he returned to his home in TN.

Franklin Harris|12.25.07 @ 3:03PM|#

Well, I'm working Christmas, but I did spend yesterday enjoying "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and that other Christmas classic: "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians". Hurray for Santy Claus!

Big John Call is Santa Claus in "O Little Town of Deathlehem."

And now, after that gratuitous MST3K reference, it's off to work for me, too. The news never sleeps. (Actually it does, which is when newspapers fill their pages with tedious wire stories.)

Cara Lutetia|12.25.07 @ 3:50PM|#

No Wexford Carol?

Merry Christmas!

|12.25.07 @ 4:02PM|#

haiku for christmas

light load for red nose reindeer

santy claws was here

|12.25.07 @ 8:07PM|#

Merry Christmas to everyone who can't be home with their loved ones.

|12.26.07 @ 10:58AM|#

Happy St. Stevens!

Jennifer|12.26.07 @ 11:36AM|#

A merry Christmas, a happy Festivus, and a joyous Saturnalia to you all. I'll see you after the holiday.

No mention of Kwanzaa? RACIST!!

ed|12.26.07 @ 12:34PM|#

I personally am celebrating Boxing Day. It predates Kwanzaa, and also Tamika.

|12.26.07 @ 1:11PM|#

I used to believe in the free market when I was a wee child. Then I believed in government. Now I just believe in Santa.