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Compulsory Cha-Cha for Chinese Chubbies
"Student waistlines have expanded almost as fast as the
Chinese economy," reports
the Guardian. The solution? Mandatory dance lessons:
The Ministry of Education said the dances were designed to "suit the physical and psychological characteristics of students at different ages". New steps and melodies will be introduced every two years. (Ed--For now, there's actually no cha-cha, only waltz. But can it be far behind?)
The routines--which will supplement rather than replace regular physical education classes - are reportedly aimed at turning a generation of chubby cheeks into twinkle toes....Studies suggest one in five children are obese. Rising affluence, reduced exercise and the growing popularity of fast food such as Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonalds have hit school fitness levels badly. The average pupil today is slower and weaker than 10 years ago.
Alas, this seemingly flawless plan has its detractors:
"The dance plan makes no sense. Running and callisthenics are a more effective way to lose weight. Our school needs to hire a special teacher to teach dancing and it will take up a lot of time," said Ma Yanling a teacher in Beijing, whose class of 37 includes only five overweight students. "Most importantly, letting students waltz will create hotbeds of adolescent love. That is not good. Schools work very hard to prevent students from falling in love too early."
To dig into the full reason obesity archive, go here.
Cesar|6.5.07 @ 2:24PM|#
Who wants to take up a collection fund to send MeMe Roth to China? I'll throw in my $20.
thoreau|6.5.07 @ 2:25PM|#
I've gotta say, if Physical Education is mandatory it's hard for me to get too upset when they change the activity from swimming to dancing or whatever. I mean, whatever the merits of a particular form of PE, it strikes me as tinkering with the program rather than expanding it.
|6.5.07 @ 2:32PM|#
Schools work very hard to prevent students from falling in
love too early
Any totalitarianism which fails to recognize my unrequited crush on
that cute brunette in homeroom goes too far.
VM|6.5.07 @ 2:41PM|#
The person in the foreground kinda looks like Cartman when he
tried cheating at the special olympics...
hier
|6.5.07 @ 2:42PM|#
It's no worse than this idea:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0736001654/reasonmagazineA/
Yes, it's a book about teaching kids to exercise, not about testing
them for drug use.
SugarFree|6.5.07 @ 2:46PM|#
Just pipe in a little C+C Music Factory.
Those kids won't be able to help themselves.
(YouTube Link)
GILMORE|6.5.07 @ 2:48PM|#
Most importantly, letting students waltz will create hotbeds
of adolescent love.
Just look what happened to Vienna in the 16th century!! Social
upheaval!
God knows what the macarena might do.
Grotius|6.5.07 @ 2:51PM|#
VM,
"Remember, reading Bibles plus accepting Jesus equals food." -
Female Missionary in Starvin' Marvin In Outerspace
dhex|6.5.07 @ 2:51PM|#
"Who wants to take up a collection fund to send MeMe Roth to
China?"
cause what she really needs is the opportunity to research
authoritarianism firsthand.
somehow this strikes me as not a wise idea.
Grotius|6.5.07 @ 2:53PM|#
GILMORE,
And later on in the 18th century don't let that bastard Mozart into
your country. ;)
|6.5.07 @ 2:59PM|#
dhex,
What are you worried about? That she'll return as a Kung Fu master
and launch a successful Cultural Revolution from behind the
Manchurian Candidate?
I'm in for twenty Cesar.
SugarFree|6.5.07 @ 3:00PM|#
VM,
That gets me just too hot and bothered here at work. That'll have
to wait for a little alone time at the house...
VM|6.5.07 @ 3:04PM|#
Just remember: it is lucky that it was the
Janitor and not your boss that caught you BATIN in the
bathroom!
Or so I have convinced myself.
*imagines a polka arrangement for "Mony Mony"
|6.5.07 @ 3:07PM|#
If this doesn't work, just tell the fat kids they'll be sent to feed the North Koreans. Just like the giant rabbits.
VM|6.5.07 @ 3:10PM|#
Gro - you bet!
IIRC the 1995 Copenhagen UN Convention declared Olivia Newton John
to be an environmental threat *AND* that she may cause kidney
stones!
This is another danger of the one child policy. They make a really
humongous one that weighs as much as several.
for shame.
ed|6.5.07 @ 3:10PM|#
New steps and melodies will be introduced every two
years.
They should get to "the hustle" right around the year 2145.
Followed in 2147 by "disco sucks" nights in Tiananmen Square.
GILMORE|6.5.07 @ 3:11PM|#
Rock Rock Rock Rock, Rock and Roll High School
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_'n'_Roll_High_School
|6.5.07 @ 3:12PM|#
I'm just imagining a bunch of chubby Chinese kids attempting to dance around the room. It makes me giggle :)
Grotius|6.5.07 @ 3:14PM|#
VM,
Perhaps the Chinese government is also concerned about
this?
SugarFree,
*groan*
George O.|6.5.07 @ 3:16PM|#
'WANG!' screamed the shrewish voice from the telescreen. '6079 Wang X.! Yes, you! Bend lower, please! You can do better than that. You're not trying. Lower, please! That's better, comrade. Now stand at ease, the whole squad, and watch me.'
SugarFree|6.5.07 @ 3:26PM|#
Grotius,
Sorry. The really obvious joke said in the mocking tone is popular
around the office.
We also went through a bad jag last year of replying "Your mom!" to
almost every question.
Grotius|6.5.07 @ 3:57PM|#
SugarFree,
Well, Urkobold will be around to collect soon enough I suppose.
;)
|6.5.07 @ 4:13PM|#
At my elementary school, they used to regularly bring in a
square dance caller and have us do-si-do during gym class.
Of course, the people in charge were nuns, so no evil statism was
involved. Most of the kids said that they hated it, since what
smacked more of fogeydom than square dancing? The argument that
doing the Frug, Pony or Monkey would yield a better workout
wouldn't cut any ice with the penguins.
I used to get matched up, by height, with the prettiest girl in my
class, which made me sweat more than the exercise! My nerves were
partly from holding hands with a cute girl, and partly from fearing
that she'd say something critical of me to her boyfriend, an
eight-foot tall thug who had been left back at least twice, had to
shave twice a day, smoked three packs a day and tended bar at his
dad's bowling alley. :) Once they introduced picking our partners,
I left her alone.
One advantage of holding square dance during gym were that we
didn't have to change from our school uniforms into workout
clothes. Our school had a nice gym, but we didn't get much use out
of it, as the floor was set up for Bingo Night or Sunday Mass* more
than half the time. Our custodian took personal affront every time
our CYO basketball teams wanted to use it for practice or games,
since that meant he had to schedule his setting up chairs and
tables or kneelers around us.
It won't surprise anyone that our teams sucked.
Kevin
*At the height of the baby boom, during the phase-in of the Vatican
II reforms, suburban Catholic Churches in my area were packing them
in like the Tokyo subway. Our parish had a pastor and 3 or 4
curates. It held about a dozen masses each Sunday, half in the
church building and the other half in our gym/auditorium. There was
also an Italian chapel down the road that held daily and weekly
masses.
|6.5.07 @ 4:31PM|#
Most importantly, letting students waltz will create hotbeds of adolescent love.
Just look what happened to Vienna in the 16th century!! Social upheaval!
God knows what the macarena might do.
Early 19th, actually. And the waltz was unbelievably scandalous
when it was invented: it was the first dance where partners faced
each other in a closed position while dancing.
I mean, really. Isn't this just
shameful?
Rhywun|6.5.07 @ 5:25PM|#
Is that picture for real? Well. I've been to China and while it was about five years ago, I don't recall seeing any obese people whatsoever. This is probably propaganda to convince the subjects that the economy is just swinging along smashingly.
Urkobold®|6.5.07 @ 5:31PM|#
SUGARFREE, URKOBOLD CONDEMNS YOU TO A LINUX BOX FOR ONE YEAR.
THINGS WILL WORK FASTER, BUT YOU WILL BE CONFUSED, APPLE-LOVING
FOOL.
URKOBOLD DESPISES THE MAC CULT.
|6.5.07 @ 5:44PM|#
SUGARFREE, URKOBOLD CONDEMNS YOU TO A LINUX BOX FOR ONE YEAR. THINGS WILL WORK FASTER, BUT YOU WILL BE CONFUSED, APPLE-LOVING FOOL.
URKOBOLD DESPISES THE MAC CULT.
All hail Urkobold!
Sandy|6.5.07 @ 5:47PM|#
Urkobold: I sentence thee to live with Richard Stallman.
He is polyamorous and does not believe in your mortal bathing
rituals.
|6.5.07 @ 6:25PM|#
"The dance plan makes no sense. Running and callisthenics
are a more effective way to lose weight."
...and if that doesn't work, they could always go with forcible
gastroplasty.
Don't they have some precedent for mandating medical procedures
over there?
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