The Greatest Political Speech Ever

Jesse Walker | May 3, 2007

Here are just a few of the gems offered by Toyama Koichi -- nihilist, ex-con, street musician, and candidate for governor of Tokyo -- in a Japanese television broadcast:

* "Gentlemen! This nation is horrible."

* "I do not have a single constructive proposal. The only thing we must do now is scrap and scrap -- annihilate everything that exists!"

* "To further our ferocious, terrifying plans of overthrowing the government, there is information on how to contact me on the posters."

The whole dada-rific performance is here. If he is elected, Koichi concludes, "They will be terrified. I myself will be terrified."

[Via bOING bOING, which also links to some remixes of the speech.]

Comments

VM|5.3.07 @ 12:16PM|#

WTF? this guy running on the Godzilla Ticket?

This guy is the Sizzlean to the normal political discourse's bacon!

|5.3.07 @ 12:24PM|#

Gentlemen! I despise each and every one of you!

What a champ!

ed|5.3.07 @ 12:25PM|#

Is he the Japanese version of a libertarian?

|5.3.07 @ 12:27PM|#

How refreshing, a truthful politician!

|5.3.07 @ 12:29PM|#

He went to the same public speaking class as Cho. Schlock and Aaargghhhh 101

|5.3.07 @ 12:33PM|#

Nah, he's an Objectionist.

Urkobold®|5.3.07 @ 12:33PM|#

Urkobold is the uncredited speechwriter.

VikingMoose|5.3.07 @ 12:40PM|#

that would be:

ribertalian...

thoreau|5.3.07 @ 12:43PM|#

That's all well and good, but what is his stance on ferret ownership?

thoreau|5.3.07 @ 12:43PM|#

Oh, and the obligatory:

All your nutjob are belong to us.

thoreau|5.3.07 @ 12:44PM|#

I wonder why sometimes my URL shows up and sometimes it doesn't.

Homer|5.3.07 @ 12:44PM|#

That speech didn't explain anything!

thrall|5.3.07 @ 12:50PM|#

"That's all well and good, but what is his stance on ferret ownership?"

I can't stop laughing at that. hahahha. I don't know why...

|5.3.07 @ 12:50PM|#

It sounds like a Hillary Clinton/Dennis Kucinich ticket. Shrill and whacky!

|5.3.07 @ 1:04PM|#

Can we write this guy in for our Presidency in '08?

|5.3.07 @ 1:12PM|#

Koichi is only funny because people don't consider him influential. If he were, "funny" wouldn't be the f-word used to describe him.

VM|5.3.07 @ 1:13PM|#

JimmydaG:

nein.

PUNISHMENT WILL BE SLOW IN COMING... dammit. The committee is swamped. And we have to make sure the torture people are ITSO 9000 certified. The paperwork is a mess.

Anyhow. GO TO YOUR ROOM!

|5.3.07 @ 1:20PM|#

The Japanese are ahead of us in so many ways.

Brian Sorgatz|5.3.07 @ 1:33PM|#

"To further our ferocious, terrifying plans of overthrowing the government, there is information on how to contact me on the posters."

He sounds like the Count Floyd of Japanese politics. "Von't it be scary, kids, vhen ve overthrow the government?"

|5.3.07 @ 1:43PM|#

That was the most heartachingly beautiful thing I've ever seen on the internet.

You think I'm joking but I tell the truth.

|5.3.07 @ 1:46PM|#

ALLEZ CUISINE!

|5.3.07 @ 1:50PM|#

Yes, I'd vote for Chairman Kaga.

|5.3.07 @ 1:53PM|#

My apologies, VM, and all followers of the Great Zod (I'm assuming that's what you linked to, since work restricts my access to Urkobold's® blog). I will promptly commence self-flagellation for my wicked actions.

highnumber|5.3.07 @ 1:55PM|#

Your work restricts access to the blog?

WTF?!

|5.3.07 @ 1:57PM|#

I'm appalled to learn that Urkobold®, the blog that is all troll, all of the time, would be blocked by your employer.

In any event, Urkobold endorsed General Zod's campaign for president. That's what VM is talking about.

VM|5.3.07 @ 1:58PM|#

"I will promptly commence self-flagellation for my wicked actions."

I'd assume that your work would frown on those sorts of activities, too...

Unless he works in a
[jarring chord]
a massage shop!

|5.3.07 @ 2:01PM|#

Yes, it's a travesty!

|5.3.07 @ 2:01PM|#

Egad. :)

That's great stuff. I just have to wonder - is there anything like a cohesive political counterculture in Japan that would actually identify with his ranting about "the minority"?

VM|5.3.07 @ 2:03PM|#

ProGLib - glad somebody knows! :)

Timothy|5.3.07 @ 2:04PM|#

He vill cut of your johnson, Lebowski. Ja, cut off your johnson.

|5.3.07 @ 2:05PM|#

Wow, great! With the shaved head and black turtleneck!

This is SO much like Tammy Metzler's speech to the student body in the movie Election. Right down to 'Vote for me. Or don't vote for me. Or don't vote at all!!!!!"

VM|5.3.07 @ 2:06PM|#

Oh - I know Timothy. He's a nihilist.

|5.3.07 @ 2:21PM|#

Well, VM, after all, I'm over 10% of Urkobold's readership.

|5.3.07 @ 2:26PM|#

I, for one, welcome our new nihilist overlord.

|5.3.07 @ 2:26PM|#

Urkobold's blog is my main source of news. I'd be lost without it.

VM|5.3.07 @ 2:33PM|#

Hell, Jimmy, I'm lost *with* it!

I just do what Mr. Steven Crane suggests.

It's much easier that way.

Hey wait a sec ProGlib - how come you're 10% of the readership, while I'm only 7%?

hrumph.

/kicks cheese.

|5.3.07 @ 2:58PM|#

"I can't stop laughing at that. hahahha. I don't know why..."

It's illegal to own a ferret in California.

|5.3.07 @ 3:06PM|#

VM,

Because I'm taller?

highnumber|5.3.07 @ 3:10PM|#

ProGLib is 6'2" as I recall from another comment. The average moose is 6'6" to 7'6".
I smell shenanigans.

|5.3.07 @ 3:15PM|#

I'm just guessing here. Maybe I'm just denser. All of those neutronium flakes, you know.

VM|5.3.07 @ 3:18PM|#

Denser, at least.

only in the neutronium way, however. Remember, my train of thought is subsidized by Amtrak... (sadly). Otto is my intellectual hero!

oh sorry about that High# - was foraging in the peat swamp this morning.

cgee|5.3.07 @ 3:32PM|#

That's all well and good, but what is his stance on hairstyles of the 1970s?

|5.3.07 @ 9:05PM|#

Okay, I finally had a chance to watch the video.

Why do Japanese guys always sound like they are trying to hold in doobie smoke while they yell?

Also: SOUTH PARK VERSION.

Walter Sobchak|5.4.07 @ 1:36AM|#

Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

|5.4.07 @ 2:18AM|#

This is an officical campaign broadcast. Every candidate in Japan is given the right to have their speech aired under equal conditions, according to Japanese law.

A great example of why public financed campaigns are a bad idea.

|5.4.07 @ 4:37AM|#

"They will be terrified. I myself will be terrified."

That has to be one of the best lines I have ever read!

|5.4.07 @ 1:21PM|#

I wonder whether he ever has to fight to keep a straight face while making speeches like this. :)