TSA Protects America from Dangerous Citrus Juicer, Makes Cash at Yard Sale

"If the general public saw this, they'd say, 'My God Almighty, I don't want this on a plane.'" So says Patrick O'Connor, a TSA manager who oversees disposition of contraband items, of the haul at the agency's huge yard sale of seized carry-ons from Logan airport. The list, which includes three boxes of 2-inch galvanized nails, 10,000 cigarette lighters a week, a hammer, and a pink knife with the word "Diva" on it, somehow fails to inspire me to take the Lord's name in vain.

The Boston Globe reports on the yard sale, and the contents of a guarded room at Logan, likely destined for the cornfield in New Hampshire where the event takes place. They found:

...a citrus juicer, rotary saw, drywall knife, replica hand grenades, a belt buckle the shape of a derringer handgun, machetes, double-sided razor blades, food-processor blades, .50-caliber ammunition, golf clubs, and a cricket bat. In recent years two fully-fueled chainsaws have showed up in Logan travelers' carry-on bags.

The take is about $26,000 a year, not counting the salaries of federal workers who regularly gather and schlep the stuff to a cornfield in New Hampshire. But at least I can fly free from fear of food-processor blades.

Will Jacob Sullum's toothpaste end up at the yard sale? What about a kid's belt buckle?

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  • Jim Anderson||

    At least one has plenty of bric-a-brac to ameliorate the suckitude of being wished to the cornfield.

  • ||

    Aw, c'mon, fully fueled chainsaws?

  • ||

    What, no ball point pens? Can't a train person kill someone by jamming a ball point into their eye? What about belts? They make an effective garrot. Didn't somebody in Godfather III get whacked with a pair of eyeglasses? My goodness,
    why aren't we required to fly in gov't issue jammies?

  • ||

    The food processor blade in my carry-on bag last May showed up on the X-ray, which prompted a full search. They saw that it was indeed a harmless disk and let me keep it. So a "threat" remains in the eyes of the beholder. How could it realistically be any other way?

  • ||

    In recent years two fully-fueled chainsaws have showed up in Logan travelers' carry-on bags

    The TSA Chainsaw Massacre anyone?

  • ||

    I guess it depends on which kid's belt buckle they nicked . I always wanted one of these.

    Kevin

  • Rick H.||

    If being screamed at by a paranoid, erratic, loaded-Glock-brandishing, unidentified air marshall in a closed cabin at 20,000 feet is what it takes to protect Americans from danger, then why are you people complaining?

  • ||

    a pink knife with the word "Diva" on it

    Lil Kim must be pissed.

  • Brian||

    That wasn't just any citrus juicer. It was a Fruit Fucker!

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