No-Knock Jokes

Brian Doherty | June 18, 2006

John Derbyshire over at National Review's The Corner blog comes up with a couple of Hudson-inspired no-knock jokes. The first one actually made me laugh--your mileage may vary.

Comments

|6.18.06 @ 5:11PM|#

relates to the drug war listed below. I guess there could be a reason for a no-knock warrant without the drug war, but I can't think of one off the top of my head.

|6.18.06 @ 5:42PM|#

My mileage varied. Thanks for the thought though.

Here's mine:

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

The Police.

Oh c'mon, everyone knows the police don't knock. Who's really there?

----Ok, so that one's not funny either.----

|6.18.06 @ 6:06PM|#

I liked juggler's no knock joke better than the NRO ones, you should submit it.

|6.18.06 @ 6:37PM|#

Police don't knock. But every breath you take, every move you make, they'll be watching you.

Pete Guither|6.18.06 @ 7:00PM|#

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Coroner.

Coroner who?

Coroner who's been brought in now that the police are done surprising you.

|6.18.06 @ 7:37PM|#

here's the no knock joke

click: GET ON THE GROUND! GET ON THE GROUND! HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE 'EM

AAAaaagh!

SHUTUP! GET ON THE GROUND! HANDS BEHIND YER HEAD!

AAAaaagh! what the... ugh.

|6.18.06 @ 7:38PM|#

With full government surveillance this wouldn't be a problem at all. They would just know whether or not you are breaking the law.

I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

|6.18.06 @ 7:41PM|#

No knock!

Who's not there?

|6.18.06 @ 8:34PM|#

The first one is just stupid. If anything, I'd be less enthusiastic about having a handgun ready on my nightstand if I knew that the thugs bursting into my home at midnight might be cops.

Not that I have any respect for thuggish cops, but I really don't relish being treated as a cop killa.

TWC|6.18.06 @ 8:34PM|#

Sorry Juggs, that WAS funny.

Now I'm off to the beach for a drink and some jazz.

|6.18.06 @ 9:05PM|#

Second TWC, Juggs.
heh heh

|6.19.06 @ 12:39AM|#

HappyJuggler, this is slightly more snappy:


Knock knock

Who's there?

Not the police.

|6.19.06 @ 12:44AM|#

sweet haploid jesus, can you people do something about that ghastly picture of coulter on the left there? i'm about to blow chunks here.

|6.19.06 @ 5:30AM|#

In a strange turn of events, SCOTUS overturns their previous ruling and lays out the new procedure for entering a suspect's home:

Woman: [not opening the door] Yes?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?

Woman: What?

Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?

Woman: Who is it?

Voice: [pause] Flowers.

Woman: Flowers? From whom?

Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.

Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?

Voice: [pause] Candygram.

Woman: Candygram, my foot. Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You're the shark, and you know it.

Voice: I'm only a harmless dolphin...

Woman: A dolphin? Well...okay. [opens door]

[ she opens the door, as the shark pulls her screaming into the hallway ]

(courtesy: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75djaws2.phtml)

|6.19.06 @ 10:13AM|#

knock knock
who's there?
"telegram"
"land shark"
"delivery"
um...

Larry A|6.19.06 @ 3:21PM|#

Crash!

"What the"

Flashbang!

"heck?"

"Woof woof."

"DOG!" PowPowPowPowPow! "DOG CLEARED!"

"Hey, you shot my"

"GET DOWN!/FREEZE!/I SAID GET DOWN!/I SAID FREEZE!" PowPowPowPowPow! "PERP CLEARED!"

"Daddy?"

PowPowPowPowPow! "Wait!/PERP CLEARED!"

"There wasn't supposed to be a kid."

"Uh. The warrant says West Apple St."

"Oops."

|6.19.06 @ 3:26PM|#

bleeding eyeballs, try Firefox with the AdBlock extension, and block that Coulter image permanently!

|6.19.06 @ 3:29PM|#

- No knock.

- Who's there?

- Not your dog anymore!