Reason Magazine
- reason.com
- reason.tv
- reason.org
- Donate
- Site Search:
Reason on Facebook
Reason on Twitter
Reason on YouTube
Reason RSSGet Reason E-mail Updates!
Manage your Reason e-mail list subscriptionsadvertisements
Friday Fun Link — with Bonus Holiday Theme!
Ayn Rand's A Selfish Christmas is the best of a series of National Lampoon odes to forgotten holiday specials of the past:
Prior to broadcast, Mutual Broadcast System executives raised objections to the radio play, noting that 56 minutes of the hour-long broadcast went to a philosophical manifesto by the elf and of the four remaining minutes, three went to a love scene between Santa and the cold, practical Mrs. Claus that was rendered into radio through the use of grunts and the shattering of several dozen whiskey tumblers.
Also note A Canadian Christmas with David Cronenberg and Noam Chomsky: Deconstructing Christmas for additional chuckles.
Hat tip to serial tipster Mark Lambert.
David Rollins|12.23.05 @ 10:42AM|#
Another version had the reindeer complaining about Rudolph's "unfair" advantage.
|12.23.05 @ 10:56AM|#
They posted this last year; it's what led me to finally read
"Atlas Shrugged."
Given a choice, though, I'd rather sit through all ten of these
specials than watch the Star Wars Holiday Special
again.
Jeff P.|12.23.05 @ 10:57AM|#
Can't forget Leonard Peikoff's usual christmas meassage:
www.capmag.com/articlePrint.asp?ID=2254
By the way, today is Festivus, and all of us posters would like to
air some grievances about the H&R server.
We will then take turns pinning Gillespie, all except Smacky, who
wants to pin Julian.
|12.23.05 @ 11:53AM|#
Mandatory Ayn Rand was
crazy/cult-leader/horrible-writer/whatever disclaimer but I think
that's a pretty good article Jeff. Have to love the irony that a
secular celebration of materialism is probably closer to the true
meaning of christmas in its original pagan form (even if it had
religious overtones) than a christian interpretation.
Weird thing is, I think might have seen an excerpted version of
that in The Hartfod Courant of all places once (objectvists
actually seem to make the op-ed page there once or twice a
year).
I wonder if Peikoff or a like minded fellow ever made it onto one
of the cable news shows while this debate on the suppposed "War on
Christmas" was going on. Woulda' made for a hell of a lot more
interesting conversation than some pc-type arguing with some
fundie-type about saying happy holiday v. merry christmas.
VM|12.23.05 @ 12:01PM|#
The Star Trek christmas is great.
" Santa, enraged, kills Ensign Jones and attacks the Enterprise in
his sleigh."
and of course, Ensign Jones must be wearing the requisite RED SHIRT
:)
Warren|12.23.05 @ 12:28PM|#
mtc,
You want irony? I am of the opinion that a secular celebration of
materialism is probably closer to the true meaning of
Christianity than most Christian's interpretation.
Again I link to my retina scorching website
Right click,
Select all
|12.23.05 @ 12:31PM|#
"and of course, Ensign Jones must be wearing the requisite RED
SHIRT :)"
Captain, I think I found something
over-YEEEEAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!
|12.23.05 @ 12:32PM|#
Hey, lay off the Server Squirrel - the poor rodent's doing the best he can. (By the way, the Science Museum in London has made a functioning replica of Babbage's "difference engine", if H&R is in the market for a server upgrade.)
|12.23.05 @ 12:33PM|#
Jennifer, you don't remember, I guess, but I sorta bitched you
out awhile back on a thread about the gov't snooping people
checking out library books for implying Windsor was full of white
people and nothing else (instead of would-be-terrorist Arabs who
would be checking out books on how to make bombs, I think you were
saying). Not that I really value ethnic diversity one way or
another, but I couldn't let some a blatant factual error about my
dear hometown slip by.
But yeah, life long CT resident, though college and co-ops have
afforded me an escape most of the time in the past few years (ok NY
and Mass aren't really an improvement, but Oregon arguably
was).
Jeff P.|12.23.05 @ 12:41PM|#
MTC: The fact that actual history of solstice/yule/mithras/saturnalia et al doesn't make it into any publicized arguements about the war on Christmas invalidates those arguements, in my eyes. Like when the GOP bitched about "Under God" and no one retorted with the commie origins of the pledge.
|12.23.05 @ 12:48PM|#
...than watch the Star Wars Holiday Special
again.
ARRRRGGGGHHHH! It BURNS us!
I don't know which was worse; Chewbacca's elderly relative watching
the holographic human stirpper, Maud running the Mos Eisley
cantina, Carrie Fisher's coke inspired "Life Day" song, or Imperial
Stormtroopers being outwited by [Jackie Gleason] ART
CARNNNNEEEEY!!![/Jackie Gleason]
|12.23.05 @ 12:57PM|#
So how come I can't download the videos? Is there a way to buy a boxed set so I can give them as presents? Ohh, gotta run, I have to check if they are available on itunes!
Ed|12.23.05 @ 1:05PM|#
Ayn Rand enjoyed the Christmas season. To her it was a yearly reaffirmation of the supremacy of capitalism. She correctly viewed it as a secular holiday, despite the lip service paid to you-know-who.
Jeff P.|12.23.05 @ 1:10PM|#
The closest thing we'll ever see to these specials is from SCTV: Neil Simon's Nutcracker Suite or the Dusty Towne Horny Holiday Special.
|12.23.05 @ 1:13PM|#
Factual error:We will then take turns pinning Gillespie, all
except Smacky, who wants to pin Julian.
[stomping feet]:
I do not want to pin Julian!
Jennifer, make Jeff stop teasing me.
|12.23.05 @ 1:31PM|#
Jeff, stop teasing Smacky. I still have all the recipts--it's not too late for me to take your Christmas presents back to the store.
|12.23.05 @ 1:31PM|#
By the way, today is Festivus, and all of us posters would
like to air some grievances about the H&R server.
Is it too much to ask that they put people on shifts to enter the
code every 108 minutes?
4 8 15 16 23 42
|12.23.05 @ 1:38PM|#
It's ok smacky, you can pin me instead of Julian.
And I also remember this from last year. In order to make this seem
intentional rather than accidental, this should be the Friday Fun
link every year on the Friday before Christmas.
Lazlo|12.23.05 @ 1:39PM|#
Jeff, did the Horny Holiday Special ever actually run with that title? On the DVD box set it's (badly) dubbed-over as the Sexy Holiday Special.
|12.23.05 @ 1:44PM|#
Warren,
Retina scorching indeed. That has gotta be the most god-awful
attempt at christmas colors this side of what my green eyes are
going to look like Sunday morning because I got too drunk to take
my contacts out.
Right Click, Select All just makes it looks like an equally
nauseating attempt at patriotism ;)
Jeff P.|12.23.05 @ 1:53PM|#
Lazlo: I think there's an undubbed version on one of the
box-sets. My copies are bootl....fell off a truck, so they don't
have a lot of specal features intact.
Useless Jeff Trivia: "How COULD you Mrs. Dinky?" has become one of
my all-purpose exclamations, like "Hel-LOOOOO Nurse!" and "Oh my
stars and garters."
I am a sad, sad man.
Timothy|12.23.05 @ 1:56PM|#
She correctly viewed it as a secular holiday, despite the
lip service paid to you-know-who.
You mean Voldemort?
|12.23.05 @ 2:03PM|#
Jeff, stop teasing Smacky. I still have all the
recipts--it's not too late for me to take your Christmas presents
back to the store.
Aww, thanks Jennifer! You're da best.
And thanks for the Festivus wishes, Jeff. I hope you still get
everything Jennifer bought you.
And Mo -- I have no witty retort right now, so I'll have to deal
with you later. (But for now, a Joyous Festivus to you and everyone
else!)
|12.23.05 @ 2:05PM|#
(Rhetorical aside: I'm not sure I have the "equipment" to pin
anybody.)
(Then again, if I'm not sure then I'm probably more in
trouble than anyone here.)
|12.23.05 @ 2:12PM|#
Smacky doesn't want to pin Julian; she wants to be pinned by Julian. Big difference.
|12.23.05 @ 2:17PM|#
This so-called "fun" link is the comedic equivalent of a lump of coal. Third rate.
Timothy|12.23.05 @ 2:18PM|#
I think we're learning too much about smacky's positional coitus preferences. I want to know how Jennifer found out, and if there's video.
|12.23.05 @ 2:20PM|#
This so-called "fun" link is the comedic equivalent of a
lump of coal. Third rate.
I thought this was a pretty good link, on the contrary. Informative
and amusing (even enough for me to pass on to people via that
wonderful mechanism called spam).
|12.23.05 @ 2:22PM|#
I want to know how Jennifer found out, and if there's
video.
Biology 101. If Smacky is a female, and Julian is a male (and I'm
pretty sure she is and he is), then only Julian has the necessary
equipment for pinning.
Timothy|12.23.05 @ 2:24PM|#
Ahh, I see, and thusly my squareness is thoroughly exposed. I was still taking pinning in the wrestling sense, or as a euphemism for sex generally, not as slang for stickin' it in.
dhex|12.23.05 @ 2:32PM|#
"Biology 101. If Smacky is a female, and Julian is a male (and
I'm pretty sure she is and he is), then only Julian has the
necessary equipment for pinning."
smacky doesn't have arms?
she types real well for someone with a disability. maybe we can use
her in the A Very Libertarian Christmas special?
|12.23.05 @ 2:46PM|#
Biology 101. If Smacky is a female, and Julian is a male
(and I'm pretty sure she is and he is), then only Julian has the
necessary equipment for pinning.
Factory equipment sure, but smacky could find an after-market
upgrade to do all the pinning she wants.
|12.23.05 @ 2:51PM|#
she types real well for someone with a disability. maybe we
can use her in the A Very Libertarian Christmas special?
I will play the armless, toothless, sightless girl from
Camborawandladesh who gets a newfangled computer from the US
government to better myself, only to tragically discover that it's
a hand-crank device.
(Jebus, forgive me for my black humor this Festivus season.)
|12.23.05 @ 3:20PM|#
Oh yeah, Jennifer: I hope Santa Jeff leaves you a lump of pooh
(or equivalent) in your stocking this year. Other than that, I hope
you get everything you wanted and then some.
(Get it? Get some! naughty!)
Warren|12.23.05 @ 3:49PM|#
Biology 101. If Smacky is a female, and Julian is a male
(and I'm pretty sure she is and he is), then only Julian has the
necessary equipment for pinning.
ummmm OK Are you familiar with the concept of pegging? Would you
like to learn?
|12.23.05 @ 3:53PM|#
"By the way, today is Festivus, and all of us posters would like
to air some grievances about the H&R server."
well if that is the case:
joe is lefty.
Black reason t-shirts are not for sale....
can't really think of anything else...and the first grievance
really isn't a grievance more of an observation...so exept for the
lack of T-shirts you guys are doing pretty good.
Jolly Festivus to all
|12.23.05 @ 4:16PM|#
Are you familiar with the concept of pegging? Would you like
to learn?
"No" and "probably not."
The Wine Commonsewer|12.23.05 @ 4:36PM|#
Timothy, you funny guy.
Now clean the coffee off my flat screen.
Warren|12.23.05 @ 4:56PM|#
"No" and "probably not."
:(
No matter how many times I hear it, it still hurts.
Alright, I'm taking off my shoes. We'll see who has "feet of
strength"
|12.23.05 @ 5:12PM|#
Sorry, Warren. But in my life, there have been many people
who've referred to me as "a woman with balls."* Okay, I can live
with that but that's as far as I'll go--I damn sure don't need to
complete the package.
* And they are much, much bigger than Herrick's, too.
Warren|12.23.05 @ 5:40PM|#
Good thing it's not a drinking day, I composed and thought
better of three comments.
Happy Festivus wishes to all
|12.23.05 @ 6:08PM|#
To me, Harlan Ellison's description of the lost Star Trek script alone is worth the price of admission...
dhex|12.23.05 @ 8:02PM|#
"I will play the armless, toothless, sightless girl from
Camborawandladesh who gets a newfangled computer from the US
government to better myself, only to tragically discover that it's
a hand-crank device."
disabled smacky: "oh, if only i'd never tried to rely on the might
of the state!"
who gets to play the ghost of libertarian christmas future?
heh, get it? libertarian future? christmas?
"libertarian christmas future" is an anagram for:
"A CHARITABLENESS FRUIT RIM RUT"
http://wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=libertarian+christmas+future
|12.23.05 @ 8:03PM|#
I go away from the board for a few hours, and come back to find
Jennifer has testicles, Smacky has no arms, and Timothy has, for
some unknown reason, taken his shoes off.
You guys are ruining Christmas.
|12.23.05 @ 8:48PM|#
Jeff, it's like this, first this guy in a red suit came with these testicles for Jennifer that he had made from Smacky's arms...yada, yada, yada...and Timothy took off his shoes. See, it's simple.
|12.24.05 @ 12:49AM|#
I'd like to thank Jeff P./smacky/jennifer for making me laugh
really hard.
I was in a terribly foul mood that had been induced by some
horrendously saccharine country music that my little sister was
playing in the car.
The sort that just makes you hate life and everything about
it.
So, youse three have done your good deed for the day, take a
freakin' bow.
|12.24.05 @ 1:01AM|#
Oh, and no love for "KISS Saves Santa"?
Normally I'd be surprised, but the thread jack more than made up
for it.
|12.24.05 @ 1:01AM|#
Oh, and no love for "KISS Saves Santa"?
Normally I'd be surprised, but the thread jack more than made up
for it.
|12.24.05 @ 6:55AM|#
Jeff, it's like this, first this guy in a red suit came with
these testicles for Jennifer that he had made from Smacky's
arms...yada, yada, yada...and Timothy took off his shoes. See, it's
simple.
Way to confuse the issue.
See, what happened is, Julian came over from Andrew Sullivan's
site, learned what Smacky had been thinking about him, so he
Ahab-like lifted Smacky above his head, ironically pinning her to
the ceiling, and shouted to all the H&R posters that if one of
them said something, he would cut off Smacky's arms and turn them
into testicles for Jennifer, and also that if nobody said anything,
Julian would cut off Smacky's arms and turned them into testicles
for Jennifer.
Upon hearing of this,
Timothy took off his shoes and put them on his head, and Julian
applauded him for being the poster who truly understood.
Timothy|12.24.05 @ 12:09PM|#
I go away from the board for a few hours, and come back to
find Jennifer has testicles, Smacky has no arms, and Timothy has,
for some unknown reason, taken his shoes off.
For the record, 'twas Warren at 4:56 on 12/23 who took off his
shoes. Although if it's any consolation I am certainly not wearing
shoes as I type this.
|12.27.05 @ 2:52PM|#
mediageek, acknowledge. :)
Good glob, if I ever meet Julian in person (hebun forbit!), I am
going to be most embarassed and incredibly uncomfortable. I think I
would pretend to be someone else. Maybe I can pull off "Herrick, et
al." if I study the part well. I was always a decent understudy in
gradeschool plays:
[ahem] *clears throat*
"Hello, Julian! My name is Herrick, not smacky. And I am
GAY!"
(How'd I do?...)
|12.27.05 @ 4:06PM|#
Aww. I stepped away from H&R for the weekend, and I
completely missed the wrestle-royal cage match starring smacky.
Awwwmmm.
They posted this last year; it's what led me to finally read
"Atlas Shrugged."
I thought this sounded familiar. Then I went to the linked page. I
remember, now, being startled to discover that Dorothy Parker was
so hot.
Site comments/questions:
Media Inquiries and Reprint Permissions:
(310) 367-6109
Editorial & Production Offices:
3415 S. Sepulveda Blvd.
Suite 400
Los Angeles, CA 90034
(310) 391-2245