Crazed Kentucky Senator and undeserving Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Bunning, proving once again that he knows about baseball history almost as little as he does about pitching in the postseason, has teamed up with John "Who Else?" McCain to introduce a Senate bill forcing professional sporting leagues to monitor their employees' urine according to federal diktat. The legislation
is based on the Olympic model, calling for a two-year suspension for an athlete who fails a steroids test for the first time and a lifetime ban for a second offense. Athletes would be tested at least five times a year, three during the season and two in the offseason.
Just to complete the totalitarian vibe, there's a
provision urging leagues to erase records achieved with the help of performance-enhancing drugs.
No word on whether the government will require historical pictures of undesirable athletes to be airbrushed, but I think we can assume.