But What Has He Done for the Purple Skins?

One of the more daring ideas in American politics comes--as should be expected--from the world of comics fandom, via comic writer Mark Millar's message board. Never since the days of science fiction superfan philosopher and erotic politician Claude Degler have I heard such calls for a bold new direction in human society. Comics fan posting under the name "MichaelNetzer" calls on comic artist Neal Adams (whose twisted, lithe figures added some mod excitement to the comics field in the late '60s through work on such bizarro classics as the "relevant" Green Lantern/Green Arrow, though his influence has been, to my eyes, mostly pernicious) to lead the way:

Neal Adams has given us innumerable gifts, such as embarking on the discovery of the scientific model under which the universe came into being, which is slowly and surely toppling Einsteinian science - the theories of relativity, the big bang, pangea, subduction and many other superstitious tales of magic and sorcery which the scientific community still adheres to today. A new model of the universe which will become the catalyst for the success of our next evolutionary phase as the generation which will conquer the final frontier, as we're destined to do.

Amongst his other great works, Neal Adams has also embarked on putting forth a model for a new sociopolitical leadership through the voice he has in the comics. Neal Adams has tackled social, political and ecomonic issues on both the local and international fronts in America and the world through transcending bipartisan politics in seeking truth and justice.....

Neither the Republican nor the Democrat representatives are able to stand for such truth and justice because they can no longer represent the true ideals of their respective parties, which have long been buried under the manipulations and pressures of the money wielders who pull their strings.

Ollie Queen himself couldn't have said it any straighter! Netzer goes on to declare:

What could be more right today than for the prolific, informed and opinionated comic book creators to come together to form a guild and a union which calls for a revival of truth, justice and the American way?

What could be more right than for the comic book creators to reach deep within themselves for the essential values which bind us all together, and thus evolve into a union of leaders such as they're destined to become?

Adams, of course, because of his universal scientific genius, should be president in Netzer's plan. Some further, not necessarily libertarian, suggestions for how to apply comic creators unique genius to contemporary politics: Brian Michael Bendis for Attorney General (that whole "Matt Murdoch as Kingpin of Hell's Kitchen" thing shows a bold mind when it comes to private law); Neil Gaiman at the National Endowment for the Arts (arty chicks love him); Todd McFarlane at Treasury (he's experienced with bankruptcy); Dave Sim at Health and Human Services (it needs a real man's guidance); Steve Gerber at Interior (his Man-Thing showed intimate understanding of the natural world's needs); Steve Ditko as White House Chief of Staff (for Objectivist guidance); Stan Lee as UN ambassador; Roy Thomas as Librarian of Congress; and of course, our own Peter Bagge should get any position he desires--or none, if that's what he desires. (Feel free to continue this stupid game in Comments, true believers!)

[Link via Fanboy Rampage.]

UPDATE: Thanks to commenter Kevrob for letting me know, in the comments thread, that Mr. Netzer used to be known as comic artist (in the Adams-imitator tradition) Michael Nasser, and that he has a whole Web site dedicated to the whos whats whys wheres and hows of the Comic Book Creators Party, which will hit the ground running, Netzer saith, at this year's San Diego Comic Con.

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  • ||

    Alan Moore would be a good pick for Director of Central Intelligence (even though a Brit). Already a shadowy organization, Moore would add an extra layer of darkness to the CIA. And he wouldn't hesitate to tell a sitting President WMD might not exist. He would instead concoct plans of Iraq passing on a deadly alien telepathic monster to Al Qaeda. Almost as plausible as Tenet's "slam dunk".

  • Jeff||

    Warren Ellis as the Deputy Secretary of Fuck All.

  • ||

    Micah Wright as Secretary of Lying About Being An Army Ranger And Serving In Panama In Order To Give Credence To His Anti-Iraq War Stance.

  • Brian Doherty||

    How could I have forgotten: Joe Kubert at Defense, for his dynamic delination of the Rock of Easy Co., America's Greatest Solider of the Greatest Generation

  • ||

    You guys forgot about Kevin Smith (aka "Silent Bob"), possibly for DEA, and if we put J. Michael Straczynski in as head of NASA, then we'd FINALLY get back on track with the space program.

  • ||

    Mark Waid can be chief speechwriter. He writes everything else, anyway. :)

    I wonder, is Murray Bischoff is still around? He could be press secretary. :)

    BTW, everyone knows that Mike Netzer is aka Mike Nasser, a former Adams swipe-art...er,...protege, right?

    Kevin

  • ||

    Nice Green Lantern reference in the headline.

  • ||

    Jim Starlin/Doug Moench - Ambassador to China based on the sensitive portrayal of chinese culture in "Master of Kung Fu".

  • Jeff||

    We need to find a post for R. Crumb.
    And I can only imagine what the Jack Chick confirmation hearings would be like...

  • Brian Doherty||

    No, I had NO IDEA that was Michael Nasser. That makes it even better. I recall his work on--I think--the conclusion of the KOBRA saga in 5-STAR SUPERHERO SPECTACULAR or some such being pretty snazzy.

  • Jeff||

    John Byrne, in whatever position he was given, would base all decisions on the tenure of Jack Kirby, consider the contributuions of all other public officials to be out-of-continuity and not part of the canon, push his Primacy-Of-Superheroes agenda, and make it mandatory for all creators to stick with decades-old franchises as opposed to doing anything new.
    He'll fit perfectly in Washington.

  • Jesse Walker||

    I'm with Jeff: Jack Chick for Attorney General!

  • ||

    Dave Sim for Department of Agriculture!

  • ||

    Kurt Busiek for the Supreme Court-- the ability to non-contradict so much continuity (e.g. in Avengers), making creative use of it and adding to it between the lines, demonstrates a fine legal mind, skilled in the use, distinguishing, and development of precedent. (Roy Thomas could also have gotten this nod, but Brian already gave him LoC.)

  • Jeff||

    Busiek & George Perez got the Avengers and JLA together, imagine what they could do with Red and Blue states.

    And watching a libertatian comment page turn into a fanboy page is very enjoyable.

  • Franklin Harris||

    Blessed is the geek, for he shall inherit the Earth...

    and seal it in a mylar bag to preserve its resale value.

  • Jeff||

    Hmm, a Gov't that not only recognizes the aftermarket, but depends on it.
    I like this idea.

  • ||

    > We need to find a post for R. Crumb.

    I nominate Mr. Crumb for pope!

  • Warren||

    Oh christ. Comic books are perhaps the one telltale geek identifier I managed not to embrace. I think of you people the same way everyone else thinks of me.

  • ||

    Kurt Busiek for the Supreme Court...

    Well, OK, but not until Bob Ingersoll replaces Rehnquist as Chief Justice. Too bad Gardner Fox is no longer with us. He trained as a lawyer. Carl Barks as Secy. of the Treasury would have been nice, too.

    John Byrne is a naturalized U.S. citizen, but I believe Dave Sim, proud Canadian, never went that route.

    Warren, there was a comics company with your name. They published Vampirella and Famous Monsters of Filmland. How could you have missed out?

    Just for fun, Chuck Dixon for UN ambassador. That should piss off about 80% of the world. :)

    Kevin
    (Hopes the Manga party never takes over Japan!)

  • ||

    Upon further review, if we allow a Canuck like Dave Sim to serve, it must be as White House Kitchen Staff Supervisor.

    Kevin

  • Jeff||

    I'm picturing Comic Book Guy as a Fox News commentator...

  • ||

    Worst State of The Union speech, EVER! - CBG

    Kevin

  • ||

    Michael Nasser's website doesn't tell you the whole story about this guy. He started out worshipping Neal Adams (I guess he still does), being one of the numerous artistic Adams-clones that peppered the comic book landscape in the 70's. Then he dropped out of sight when he decided that he was, in fact, the Messiah, Jesus Christ come back to earth. When his delusions of godhood finally died down, he turned up in Israel, changed his name to Michael Netzer, returned to freelance pencilling duties, but instead of ripping off Neal Adams, started ripping off Frank Miller.

    I worked for DC comics for awhile, and got to meet Michael Netzer once. He was a nice guy, very softspoken. You'd never guess that he's batshit crazy.

  • ||

    For some time, I've thought that the way to change politics is to change the culture. Comics obviously can have a cultural impact, and I'd like to see more politically-oriented comic books, especially since I was a comic book fan long before I became a libertarian. Might even help increase the comic-book readership, too.
    But Netzer's website sounds hopelessly naive and lacking in details. Let me see some comics first, and then we'll see how viable they are.

  • ||

    Oh, all right, I'll gush a little, too. I loved Neal Adams and Mike Nasser's artwork, especially when someone like Joe Rubenstein inked it! But Bob Wiacek was a horrible inker for Nasser. I was less enamored of Adams-lookalike Bill Sienkiewicz, even when he changed to his "cubist" style. And I think "Nasser" rolls off the tongue better than "Netzer".

  • ||

    I nominate Kevin (kevrob) for H&R cultural historian. Kevin knows his stuff.

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