Jesse Walker | April 25, 2003
Last weekend, the Guardian attempted to list 300 reasons to love The Simpsons. They only made it to 299, though, because no sane fan will accept #183, Bleeding Gums Murphy. (As the saying goes: "Worst episode ever!")
Oh -- and when you get to #64, you'll wonder what "Y-fronts" are. Apparently, it's British for "underwear."
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There are many more recent episodes with lame celeb guest-stars that are a lot worse than the Bleeding Gums Murphy one. Not that it was the strongest episode, but worst ever? No way.
There are 2 BGM episodes. Specifically, there is an episode in which Lisa meets BGM (2nd season I think) and a later episode in which Lisa sings "Jazzman" in honor of BGM's death. Which, I wonder, does the Guardian consider the W.E.E.?
It's my pick, not the Guardian's. I was referring to the episode
where Bleeding Gums dies.
The only episode that comes close to being that bad is the tale of
the Babysitter Bandit. And that was in the first season, when The
Simpsons wasn't really The Simpsons yet.
I say this, by the way, as someone with something good to say about
almost every installment of the show.
Even the lame "Homer goes to Rock camp" episode recently had the
great line where Homer steals Elvis Costello's glasses.
"My image!" cries Elvis.
And what about having Jasper Johns on the show to simply say
"yoink!" a few times? Brilliant, and nice of Jasper to allow
himself to be sent up like that.
"Worst Walker Post Ever"
The Bleeding Gums dies episode has aged well. The better parts
include the clip from the Cosby show and the Jagged Metal-O's press
conference. My vote for weakest episode would be the buying the
camper episode.
Two of my faves:
Homer [lying on couch, visualizing himself lying on couch in
exactly the same position]: Mmmm, retirement.... Wouldn't that be
sweet!
Grandpa: They pay me $600 a week just to tell a cat and mouse what
to do.
Homer imagines himself pushing Grandpa (singing "La la la la la" to
the nuthouse door in a wheelbarrow, ringing the doorbell, and
running.
OK, Clark, I grant you the Cosby clip. That was funny. Heck: It
was very funny.
But can it make up for the fact that Lisa sang "Jazzman" ...
twice?
I don't really want to get into an endless quibble over the best
Simpsons this or that, but how can it NOT reference the Kamp Krusty
episode? Stupid Brits.
"Tiajuana!"
Everyone knows the worst episode ever was the Frank f---ing
Grimes episode.
The best? I don't think I could pick just one, but I really liked
"The Trouble With Trillions":
Todd: Daddy, what do taxes pay for?
Ned: Oh, why, everything! Policemen, trees, sunshine! And lets not
forget the folks who just don't feel like working, God bless
'em!
That could be the libertarian in me, though...
the simpsons has been crap for the past 3 seasons at least. family guy, futurama and andy richter controls the universe were all better shows that lived and died while the pathetic zombie corpse of the simpsons staggers on, defiling its own legacy.
Bleeding Gums Lives!
"Music is a fire in your belly that comes out of your mouth, so you
better stick an instrument in front of it."
BGM
First 6 seasons of the Simpsons are flawless, so my vote for worst
episode goes to almost anything after season 8.
Best episode - "Brush with Greatness" Marge paints Mr. Burns Naked
and Homer loses weight. "Dear Marge, Thank you for the fab
portrait. I hung it on me wall..." R Starr
Favorite exchange:
In Kwik-E-Mart...
Homer: "Well, you only live once."
Apu: "Speak for yourself man!"
Bart: We're all going to die Lis.
Lisa: I meant soon.
Bart (calmly): So did I.
Classic
How about when the spaceship passengers are being "entertained" by Rosie O'Donnell, and Bart says, "Don't worry, Dad, we'll crash into the sun in three minutes." Homer: "That's not soon enough, boy. That's not soon enough."
If they had filled the episode with bebop, I might have liked
it. Instead, Lisa sang the song "Jazzman."
Twice.
300 reasons...and not one mention of Ralph?! What's up with
that?
"My cat smells like cat food!"
"I choo-choo-chooooose you!"
"I sleep in a drawer!"
Ralph is my hero.
happy friday!
number 62 is great. but 63 doesn't mention "the big book of british
smiles"...
and 142-144 -- when george caulrdon actually shows up. (or when
homer starts baking himself in that episode...)
cheerz,
drf
Y-fronts refer specifically to briefs or "tighty whities" (not boxers), because of the upside-down Y seam around the crotch.
From the best episode ever:
HOMER: ...and the talking coyote was just a talking dog.
DOG: Find your soul-mate, Homer.
HOMER: Wait a minute. Dogs can't talk!
DOG: Arf!
HOMER: Damn straight!
Homer: God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that
game.
[doorbell rings]
Ned: Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two
tick --
Homer: [slams the door, looks upwards] Why do you mock me, O
Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed
up there.
[Marge scrapes a waffle off the ceiling into Homer's hands with a
broom]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [takes a bite of the
waffle] Mmm... sacrilicious.
Clearly the greatest comedy ever written.
And one more:
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs the cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscars night?
We do! We do!
I truly believe the best Simpsons was definitely the one where homer gets roasted.
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DATE: 02/27/2004 04:04:51
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