Friday Funnies

Obama Pilgrims' Mandate

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Our first Native American president?

  • Wilt Chamberlain||

    Mulatto Indian?

  • Xerxes||

    Show the certificate

  • Almanian's Evil Twin||

    Show me the Carfax

  • ||

    Show me the money

  • sloopyinca||

  • ||

    Um... What?

  • Almanian's Evil Twin||

    "piffle" - like the Bamster always says

  • Bee Tagger||

    Barack and Craig Stadler look like they would make perfect spooning companions.

  • some guy||

    They fit together like Mario and the Princess.

  • ||

    You know what would make this perfect?

    The Statue of Liberty standing in the background shedding a solitary tear.

  • Bee Tagger||

    Nice

  • ||

  • John||

    No. Elizabeth Warren in a canoe shedding a tear.

  • ||

    There's a boatload of illegal immigrants who cling to their guns and their god, and that's the best Obama can say? Or are the words being said by his homunculus?

  • Drake||

    The important thing is that they didn't have to pay for any healthcare.

  • AlmightyJB||

    His teleprompter is up in the tree.

  • ||

    It's ironic because the Puritans had many restrictions on religious freedom in the cities they founded. Celebrating Christmas was against the law in Boston from 1659 to 1681.

  • ||

    they hanged Quakers too, bless 'em

  • General Butt Naked||

    ...Salem witch trials...

  • ||

    Yeah but Teh War on Christmas is the ultimate religious tyranny.

  • ||

    Actually, the Quakers did not observe Christmas (or any other religious holidays as they saw them as having pagan origins). They would not even use the names of the days or the months because of their pagan roots.

    Of course, the difference is that the Quakers never tried to impose their religious beliefs on other people by force.

  • Bucky||

    and some how the Medici Pope was the ultimate in religious freedom?

  • ||

    no, but then again no-one here is asserting that. Not yet, anyway

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    the Medici Pope was the ultimate in religious freedom

  • JoshSN||

    And shoved burning hot metal rods through the tongues of those who would dare convert away from Congregationalism.

    They were like the Taliban.

    I guess that means Reason thinks Obama is just as religiously intolerant as that, but with a snooty attitude.

    I don't see how this is "ironic" though, so much as retarded.

  • CockGobbla||

    The Mayflower pilgrims were puritanical assholes.

    It's only in the Disney-fied romanticization form that they became known as a symbol of religious freedom...

    Granted, in the 21st century, the right to be a puritanical asshole is under attack, so maybe the symbolism has become appropriate.

  • Tim||

    "puritanical massholes" FIFY

  • John||

    It was the 17th Century. The entire world was full of puritanical assholes by our standards.

  • CockGobbla||

    True.

    But in the fuzzy-wuzzy mythology kids are taught since kindergarten, the Pilgrims and the Plymouth/Massachusetts Bay Colony exemplified America the genesis of American religious tolerance.

    I prefer to teach about the religious tolerance in the corporate colonies in the South. Virginia was downright atheistic in 18th century terms.

  • Tim||

    Yes, but could they paint with all the colors of the wind?

  • CockGobbla||

    My bad, I think I meant "Charter Colony" when referring to Virginia.

    Sorry, I was a premed in college, so I wasn't really concerned with my American Civ course.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    The South?!?!? More tolerant?!?!?!

    OMG, I cannot compute, I must shut down...

  • JoshSN||

    Actually, Poland was multi-confessional.

    Transylvania (rump, non-Ottoman, non-Hapsburg) Hungary even tolerated Unitarians (anti-Trinitarians, who denied the divinity of Jesus).

    Transylvania was the most tolerant spot on the continent until the French Revolution.

  • LemonMender||

    Yes, it was the first state in the world with a legal guarantee of freedom of religion.

  • CE||

    Transylvania? Those blood-suckers were tolerant?

  • JoshSN||

    History has taught us that we all bleed, regardless of creed or color.

  • ||

    Actually the Bay Colonists (Puritans is a bit of a misnomer as their were other nonconformists who were also considered Puritans) didn't want religious freedom at all. They wanted to be the official church and have exclusive control over all things both secular and religious.

    To them the established Church of England was a Papist heresy.

  • ||

    Yes, it is ironic...and it serves as a cautionary tale for people looking at secession. The Puritans were in no way unique with the old switch: once liberated from from oppression, seizing the chance to become the oppressors.

    Paul Johnson, in Modern Times, shows that this was typical in the interwar period for nations that were liberated through irredentism. Religiosity, or secularism, was secondary.

  • db||

    The stark black and white of Puritanism, so judgmental and austere, is juxtaposed against the warm and lifegiving color of the enlightened Progressive. Skeletal lines form the ship of fools, sailing so close to dangerous rocks, while solid and strong trunks base Obama, his trusted advisors, and the tree firmly in the ground of reality.

  • Barfman||

    *barf*

  • db||

    Sweet! My first Barfman reaction!

  • Almanian's Evil Twin||

    *slwo, rhythmic clapping*

  • Lord Humungus||

    The Slwo trube were know for their rhythmic clapping. And the Clap.

  • Mo' $parky||

  • AlmightyJB||

    Google translated the first comment as "5 people have not rejoiced with the people breathed felt chest veins in rock music". As anon bot would say, makes perfect sense dude.

  • Restoras||

    This has to be among the weakest all recent efforts.

    Reason should do what Google does take submissions for a cartoon from the commentariat. Winner gets...

  • ||

    But the Urkobold would win everytime...

  • Lord Humungus||

    a pony?

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Restoration of anonymous posting rights

  • ||

    A years supply of car wax.

  • db||

    A baby's arm holding an apple!

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    Aki no Tetoron wa Teijin desu

  • Bucky||

    A 'Tubes' reference, holy shit!

  • Bucky||

    wait just a minute...
    shouldn't that be a viking ship?

  • Lord Humungus||

    1.35/10 - did not laugh.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    I disagree - 1.25 max

  • Almanian's Evil Twin||

    If I were sage I would say
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • Mo' $parky||

    This... thing... leaves me with such a sense of apathy that I can't even summon up a slightly humorous comment.

    Choose Henry Payne when Chip Bok isn't quite enough to crush the spirit.

  • ||

    Dunno why they don't hire him to write here instead - check his blog http://henrypayne.com/

    It can't be worse than some of the other things Reason prints.

    Also, I like his hope/hype joke.

  • ||

    "It can't be worse than some of the other things Reason prints."

    Leave Steve Chapman alone!

  • SugarFree||

    STEVE SMITH NO LIKE PAPAZZIA... PAPPOAZIS... PAPPARDELLE... GRR! STEVE SMITH NO LIKE PHOTOGRAPHERS OR AUTOCORRECT!

  • ||

    wow, another cartoonist for STEVE SMITH to revenge-rape

  • ||

    popozao are the worst

  • db||

    So the Mayflower was Jabba's sail barge's sister ship? That thing could hover.

  • Rich||

    How about an alternative caption contest?

    "'Mayflower', indeed! It should be 'Cowpie of Distortion'."

  • Tim||

    Is the Mayflower Madam in this?

  • Zombie Jimbo||

    Sibelius doesn't have a mustache.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I don't get it. Who are the two guys? And what's the paper the white guy is holding? I need more labels.

  • KPres||

  • CE||

    In the 17th century, the Pilgrims risked their lives and their fortunes to cross the Atlantic to escape religious oppression at home.

    Today, President Obama risks your children's lives and squanders your fortunes across all the oceans in an effort to boost his chances for reelection and to reward his corporate backers.

  • CE||

    Don't you need a monocle to say words like "piffle"?

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  • cheap sunglasses||

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    It's a boatload of illegal immigrants who cling to their guns and their god
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