Friday Funnies

Mitt Mania

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  • WTF||

    Needs more christfag.

  • ||

    needs more Owebamaphiles fainting before our dear leader.
    He's Running Again!
    "pack up the babies and grab the old ladies 'cause everyone goes, to Barry O's show..."
    apologies to Neal Diamond, Baa, Baa, Baaaaaaaaa...

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Is this telling me that GOP headquarters isn't as exciting a gay cruising location as an Apple store? I find that hard to swallow.

  • ||

    If you're a young GOP'er and you're hot to trot with all the hottest GOP menz, just pick up the phone and dial 1-800-SANTORUM.

    $1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older to call.

  • Maxxx||

    I find that hard to swallow.

    Is santorum an easier swallow for you?

  • Mo||

    Tebow plays at the "SPORTS" stadium now?

  • Xenocles||

    Unless the Jets dump Sanchez, Tebow doesn't play at all now.

  • Ska||

    Giants Stadium would have wrongfully tarred the NY Giants.

  • WTF||

    It is now the Metlife Stadium. So, tar away!

  • Ska||

    Shit, and I still call Citifield Shea stadium. Need coffee. Also, need to not be acting like old guy.

  • Xenocles||

    I still call it Jersey.

  • WTF||

    At least Yankee Stadium is still called Yankee Stadium.

  • older miss||

    and yet the Rebels play at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium

  • ||

    Tebow plays at the "SPORTS" stadium now?

    And I'm fairly certain that the word "Tix" doesn't appear on any signage at a place like Augusta National.

  • Rich||

  • older miss||

    TEBOW plays sportsball, so it works

  • SIV||

  • WTF||

    "And that’s chump change compared to Uncle Sam’s tax gap over the past decade, which has been estimated at $3 trillion. More than one half that gap is attributable to underreporting of business income and much of that stems from unreported or underreported cash—that great little cash-only Italian place down the block might not be paying its taxes in full."

    Fuck off, slaver.

  • Xenocles||

    The best part is at the very bottom there's a link to another article: "Why it's so easy for hackers to steal financial information from restaurants."

  • Maxxx||

    Those are just the tangible costs of cash. We also must pay for the social ills caused by a physical currency system: underground criminal economies, tax evasion, environmental damage, counterfeiting.

    Cause none of that's possible without cash

    What a dumbfuck.

  • alarm||

    ... and climate change

  • Philip M||

    Wow. 4 white men talking about birth control. No wonder everyone's excited.

  • yawn||

    Rachael Maddow is not a man and neither are her co-hosts

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    The Founders would be relieved if people don't feel "passion" or "mania" about a politician they support.

    But you shouldn't have to feel like a cold shower after voting for a candidate, either.

  • WTF||

    A cold shower? I'm picturing the decon scene from "Silkwood".

  • ||

    Or a rape shower.

    Some folks here - myself not included - will pull the lever for the GOP nominee, whomever that may be, their logic being anyone but Obama. Doing that would leave me feeling dirty, like I needed a scalding hot shower with Comet and a scrub brush.

  • STEVE SMITH||

    YOU CALLED?

  • Restoras||

    I refuse to do that this year. Gary Johnson, or write-in Ron Paul.

  • ||

    That's because for you, like most of us here, a vote is a matter of principle.

    And also because Comet would give you a nasty rash.

  • Ex nihilo||

    I will vote for Ron Paul, again, this year. No shower needed on that account.

  • Comcast Sucks||

    So when Tebow flames out in NY, the GOP can run him for prez?

    Granted, I'm an atheist w/ no proverbial dog in the fight, but if it's called "Tebowing" w/o reference to whoever you're supposedly praying to, hasn't Tebow made it about Tebow?

  • ||

    . . . if it's called "Tebowing" w/o reference to whoever you're supposedly praying to, hasn't Tebow made it about Tebow?

    Unless Tebow himself coined that term, then no.

  • Xenocles||

    I don't think Tebow came up with the label for it, and [citation required] I think he probably doesn't completely approve of the labeling.

  • Comcast Sucks||

    Has Tebow come out and objected, or did he play along w/ it at the most recent NFL awards presentation?

    Did he tone down doing it when he saw it was being "misinterpreted"?

  • Xenocles||

    Why should he change his behavior because the sports media are stupid?

    Look, I don't know how the guy feels or what he's done to correct the perception, it's just my feeling about the guy. He seems sincere enough in his faith as it relates to other aspects of his life, so I give him the benefit of the doubt here. That's what the citation required was for.

  • Comcast Sucks||

    Why should he change his behavior because the sports media are stupid?

    Because his gesture is losing what he claims to be its meaning. It isn't losing what I suspect is its meaning - "hey, look at me, I'm Tim Tebow and I'm better than you".

  • Almanian||

    I like the Twebowing. It's fun.

  • Xenocles||

    I just don't see why, if his intentions are pure, he should stop. It's between him and his god, if he's out there. You can't change what you do every time a hater makes a comment - down that road lies madness.

  • FTFY||

    down that road lies madness moral compromise

    If only a few pols sent to DC lasted as long as Tebow has without turning into a whore.

  • Loki||

    I don't think Tebow came up with the label for it, and [citation required] I think he probably doesn't completely approve of the labeling.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....49656.html

    Fallon asked what the Broncos quarterback makes of the Tebowing sensation, "What do you think of the whole Tebowing thing? I know it's praying, but it's a phenomenon that has caught fire." Laughing and with tongue in cheek, Tebow responded, "I gotta believe I'm probably not the first athlete to get on a knee and pray. Just throwing that out there. But, also on the other hand, the greatest form of flattery is imitating somebody."

  • Socialistic Individual Sparky||

    TEBOWNED!

  • Comcast Sucks||

    You just predicted the NY Post headline the first time Tebow starts and gets the Detroit Lions treatment, w/ pic of him getting creamed by a D lineman.

  • Almanian||

    TEPWND!

  • sarcasmic||

    Needs more labels. Ten just doesn't cut it.

  • rather fart in a jar||

    Fart in a jar mania. Feel the release! Lid the jar! Store for later!

  • sarcasmic||

    Does that actually work?

  • anon||

    It's just nitrogen, co2, methane and o2. I don't see why not.

  • FTFY||

    Needs some mercaptans to give it some aroma.

  • Anomalous||

    And a little hydrogen sulfide as well.

  • ||

    Does that actually work?

    I would imagine so. As long as you can form a decent seal between your taintal area and the mouth of the jar, and as long as the jar is truly airtight when lidded, then it shouldn't be a problem.

  • rather||

    The why of libertarian isolation

  • rather fart in a jar||

    Of course you want to isolate yourself when you do it - who wants to see your ass hanging over a jar.

  • Restoras||

    Is there a specially shaped jar available for such a purpose?

  • sarcasmic||

    I'm thinking a plastic bag would be the best option, since with a jar you've got to displace air.

  • Restoras||

    This is why I come here - I hadn't thought of that.

  • rather fart in a jar||

    Plastic bags are not all airtight. Or farttight in this case.

  • suggestion||

    fart in the bag, place the bag in a jar

    you're welcome

  • ||

    I just read an article about the Birthers wanting Romney now to show proof he was born in the USA simply because his father was born in Mexico. My family didn't get off the boat until at least 1700, I guess they'd like to see my birth certificate too if I ever ran for President.

  • Comcast Sucks||

    I want to see Mitten's birth certificate just to prove he was born and not built in a lab.

  • Mormon Products United||

    Every RomneyBot comes with it's own certificate of authenticity.

  • rather||

    If Mitt was a lab creation, it would only help his chances

  • Tim||

    For here
    am I sitting in my tin can
    Far above the world
    Planet Earth is blue
    And there’s nothing I can do

  • Almanian Vocal Band||

    Skyyyyyy rockets in flight
    Afternoon deliiiiiight!
    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafternoon delight

    /Mitten's Inaugural Ball "Slow Dance"

  • Dr. Noonien Soong||

    Romney - is he more like Data, or more like Lore? Discuss.

  • Xenocles||

    B-4.

  • Socialistic Individual Sparky||

    BINGO!

  • Marc St. Stephen||

    Data before the election; Lore after.

  • Suki||

    Yawn

  • Tim||

    Take your protein pills and put yer helmets on.

  • Comcast Sucks||

    RealMitt now with your choice of realistic genitalia.

  • db||

    Black or white? Cut or uncut? Concave or convex? Just what are these options?

  • Almanian||

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    It's funny because it's TRUE!!

    Also: Almanian - 2012

    /write-in Presidential Candidate Whoring

  • squarooticus||

    This is terrible. Completely un-funny. At this point I'm forced to conclude that Payne has Asperger's and simply doesn't understand humor.

    This is like Data trying to write jokes: the ingredients are there, but in a way that entirely neglects the essence of humor.

  • Tonio||

    The cartoons Reason runs every Friday are never actually funny, Square. This helps weed out the weak and uncommitted, and leaves the herd stronger.

  • ||

    I heard this morning that Romney and Obama are hard at work positioning themselves to be "just regular folks" so they will be more relatable to the unwashed masses. Exponentially more odorous than fart in a jar.

  • ||

    Needs more labels.

    I would especially appreciate it if this cartoon consisted of a label saying,

    This Page Intentionally Left Blank

  • Tonio||

    But it wouldn't actually be blank, then, would it PeeBee?

  • GroundTruth||

    Not bad as commentary.

  • shrike||

    All Power to the Imagination!

  • witknee||

    Why is there dialog in the last panel? The picture is worth at least 42 words.

  • ||

    This comment intentionally left blank.

  • Anomalous||

    This candidate intentionally left blank.

  • Martin Blank, Gross Pointe||

  • Bob diStefalo||

    I'm drawing a complete...blank!

  • Music to iPad||

    Stream Music to Your iPad from PC. iPad Music Transfer is especially designed for solving this problem.

  • Coach Outlet||

  • mario15||

    Celtics president of basketball operations Danny Ainge and Green's agent Coach Outlet Online David Falk

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