Friday Funnies

GOP Apprentice

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    "So you're a frontrunner now, Newt? Well, la-dee-frickin-da! Whoop-dee-frickin-doo! I'm here to tell you that, as you go out there, you're not gonna end up president. You're gonna end up 68 years old, thrice divorced, and living in a van down by the river!"

  • Tiffany's||

    What ?

  • Kris||

    SNL Sketch where Chris Farley plays a motivational speaker named Matt Foley

  • ||

    I used to live in a van down by the river, then I took an arrow in the knee.

  • cveedub||

    Skyrim reference?

  • heller||

    Then I got Mary pregnant,
    and Mister that was all she wrote,

  • cveedub||

    For my 19th birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat

  • Bee Tagger||

    Ron Paul delivered 4000 babies in his life yet no one thought this fetching birth certificates question should be asked to him? Even when he doesn't show up to a debate he gets unfairly ignored.

  • invisible furry hand||

    Well, it's definitely Friday, so this is half right

  • ||

    i don't know, it does bring up some interesting possibilities like making fun of previous stupid debate questions: (thin crust or double stuffed) with a republican slant
    Newt? Which do you prefer; sitting on a couch with Nancy Pelosi or receiving $1.5 million from Franny and Freddie?

  • ||

    Predictable. Poorly drawn. Hamfisted.

    Vintage Payne.

  • ||

    And what the hell does John Candy have to do with Obama?

    Is this supposed to be some sort of obscure Canadian Bacon reference?

  • Abdul||

    Why does chris Farley have an old school Atari joystick apparatus in front of him?

  • invisible furry hand||

    cos he's playing PACman

  • ||

    Dude, are you fucking blind?

    That's obviously an NES Advantage.

  • Abdul||

    Oh shit, it's John Candy playing NES Advantage!

    Now i get it. that is pretty funny.

  • invisible furry hand||

    I wouldn't know cos back in the day we had a Mattel Intellivision. It generally sucked, but it did have a game called Microsurgeon - a mysterious plague hits city, and you pilot a tiny bot through the lymph, blood vessels etc of the afflicted shooting tumours and other nasties. At the end of the game it calculated your bill. Happy days.

  • ||

    Just looked up the Intellivision wiki, and found this:

    Complaints from consumers who had chosen to buy the Intellivision specifically on the promise of a "Coming Soon!" personal-computer upgrade that seemed as if it would never materialize eventually caught the attention of the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), who started investigating Mattel Electronics for fraud and false advertising. Mattel said that the Keyboard Component was a real product still being test-marketed and even released a small number of Keyboard Components to a handful of retail stores, along with a handful of software titles in order to support this claim. The FTC eventually ordered Mattel to pay a $10,000/day fine until the promised computer upgrade was in full retail distribution. To protect themselves from the ongoing fines, the Keyboard Component was officially canceled in the fall of 1982 and the Entertainment Computer System (ECS) module offered up in its place.
    While approximately four thousand Keyboard Components were manufactured before the module was canceled and recalled, it is not clear how many of them actually found their way into the hands of Intellivision customers. Today, very few of them still exist; when the Keyboard Component was officially canceled, part of Mattel's settlement with the FTC involved offering to buy back all of the existing Keyboard Components from dissatisfied customers. Any customer who opted to keep theirs was required to sign a waiver indicating their understanding that no more software would be written for the system and which absolved Intellivision of any future responsibility for technical support.[8] Several of the units were later used by Mattel Electronics engineers when it was discovered that, with a few minor modifications, a Keyboard Component could be used as an Intellivision software-development system in place of the original hand-built development boards.

    There's some govt stupidity for you.
  • ||

    ... and there's some stupidity from me for not knowing how to spell 'blockquote'.

  • invisible furry hand||

    Damn, never knew the full gory details - thanks! We had some sort of keyboard that my brother ordered in from the States, along with Microsurgeon and some other games IIRC, so maybe we were the lucky ones. Not that we actually used it for anything clever.

  • ||

    If you read the whole wiki it tells you that the thing wasn't just a keyboard. Why they called it "The Keyboard Module" is anyone's guess.

    It was actually some sort of dock that you could place the Intellivision into and make it a fully functional (for the time: 64k ram) computer. I guess they advertised it long before it was actually in production.

    So, people had a right to be pissed. Especially if you thought that by christmas the thing would be convertible to a real computer. But the ftc's efforts, i.e. forcing them to manufacture the module, made things worse.

  • invisible furry hand||

    Yeah, I know, RTFA. But this is actually what we had - well, I'm pretty sure it is. We had the Intellivision for a few years and just played games on it. Then one of my brothers ordered a plug-in component that connected via the cartridge and had a keyboard and was supposed to let you start programming, using the TV as your monitor to view your code. I was not very geeky and so, after a few attempts to follow the instruction book, I gave up and kept playing the games. The main component croaked not long after and the brother got to play on the real things. Or is this the Entertainment Computer System that's a stub on the wiki?

  • invisible furry hand||

    Mind you this was nearly 30 years ago so my memory is fuzzy and fuck knows where the bits and pieces are now. But I will swear on your life Capitol I that we really did have this. If I am wrong may you choke to death on part of Newt Gingrich.

  • ||

    In other news, 3D Realms owes one trillion dollars in fines for Duke Nukem Forever.

  • PR||

    the end of my thumb still has no feeling due to Intellivision Thumb.

  • sailor||

    So I thought the New Yorker's cartoons were lame of late but congrats Reason you win. Least funny cartoons ever!!!

  • Satan||

    Friday not funny. C'mon. Is this really what you guys find funny? I gave you ten dollars; pick up the quality of humor would you.

  • Mike E||

    DMV Clear Pleads Guilty to Bribes for Licenses for Illegal Aliens

    The stupidity in the comment section makes my brain hurt.

  • Mike E||

    Apparently enough to make my brain misspell clerk as clear.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Misspelling or not, H&R certainly beats other comment boards with respect to intelligent discussion.

    (this flattery offered in lieu of a donation to Reason Foundation)

  • (not really) Nick||

    Flattery won't keep me in Jackets, bub.

  • farts????????||

    Yes I'm looking at you. Stop that shit. Oh wait. You are funny funny funny.

  • farts????????||

    huh? My complaint is with the lack of humor from people trying to be funny.

  • F Hart||

    "Newt, when you become President, I want you to change the bankruptcy laws so that I can declare bankruptcy whenever, wherever, and however I choose. Then, I'll really be able to screw over my vendors."

  • Spoonman.|| MNG just not going to show up for a few weeks or do we get treated to another months of "Crow Eating Dumbass?"

  • Restoras||

    Maybe he's on an exotic vacation somewhere and oblivious to the goings on - kinda like his buddy Holder.

  • ||

    To be fair, I'd much prefer MNG as AG.

  • Restoras||

    So would I.

  • Teh rael MNG||

    Still taking trips to the assumption junction, I see. A few memos taken out of context means nothing, and any misstatements by Holder can be attributed to incompetence, not malice. The lack of memos to or from Holder also tells us nothing - there would be no reason for a person at his level to be involved with such minor and routine matters. As I have pointed out many times, allowing weapons to be provided to criminal operations with no means of recovery that are highly likely to be used in thousands of crimes and perhaps hundreds of murders is nothing but a very common law enforcement technique used all the time.

    In short, it would be foolish to assume that the motivation for allowing guns to walk was political, even if that is the most logical explanation and is supported by a growing body of evidence.

  • ||

    it would be foolish to assume conclude that the motivation for allowing guns [insert anything here] to walk was political, even if that is the most logical explanation and is supported by a growing body of evidence.

    Umm, why wouldn't you conclude that the motivation for something was the most logical explanation supported by a growing body of evidence?

  • ||

    Because you are being trolled

  • ||

    Stupid (non)multitasking brain.

  • Terr||


  • RoboCain||

    It's 9:15 already!

  • ||

    I move that we change the "Friday Funnies" to the "Friday Furries".

    Do I hear a second?

  • ||

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Trump's ears are drawn too small. If you want your cartoon to be funny, draw the ears bigger.

  • Almanian||

    Why did Payne draw a young Jimmy Carter so huge? He was always a skinny little guy. And where's the sweater?

    Also, moar labelsz, pleez.

  • first||

    Tall, with silky chocolate skin and very smart, this girl has it all. And now she shows it to us...

    This was Valerie’s first time posing nude, and we can thank her boyfriend for encouraging her. In school they call her the gazelle, and with those long legs it’s not hard to see why. Beautiful features and big, wild hair make her look like an untamed animal!

    Originally from Mauritius, she now lives in Germany, where her dark beauty has to inspire second glances on the street. She speaks English, French and German fluently. Strict about her diet and work-out regime, she runs like the wind– helpful for a spirited gazelle like her!

    Strikingly attractive in so many ways, this woman of colour now shares herself with you, only here on Hegre-Art.

  • Nike Dunk Shoes||


  • first||

    Konata has come to us from what could be almost another world. We know of the Japanese tradition. The girl-woman seems so quiet and almost timid. Very eager to please and very submissive.

    Get ready for a big surprise. Konata is all this but much more. This giggling girl with a fondness for fizzy sodas has her big secret and it's just come out.

    Konata thinks about nothing but sex. Whatever way, whenever is her style. Most of all being in front of the camera - to show off her perfect breasts and milky skin - is what turns her on.

    Right now she has a glorious black bush. Catch it now before she tries something new with that as well.

  • jackets||


  • Converter TS||

    Good buy.


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