I'm Noelle Bush and I've just been caught with the sort of rock in my shoe that could land a gal in jail for five years.
I'm also the class act who's the daughter of Florida Gov. Jeb Bush. My mother, Sunshine State First Lady Columba Bush, serves on the board of The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse. (Hi Mom!) You may remember CASA as the gang so stoned out of their minds—or just plain dumb—that they couldn't do simple math when claiming America's kids were boozing it up the way my Uncle George used to do.
This isn't my first time in trouble, and it's pretty clear that unlike most users, I can't control myself when doing drugs. But you know what? I'm one of the lucky few who can do drugs and get a slap on the wrist instead of jail time. Then I'll get sent back to rehab—where I can do even more drugs!
How's the old Creedence Clearwater hit go: "I ain't no senator's son"? Thankfully, when it comes to being well-connected enough to escape the drug war's gulag, being a governor's daughter works just as well.