Food Fight History Lesson

Ever wondered what "an abridged history of American-centric warfare, from WWII to present day, told through the foods of the countries in conflict" would look like? Well, it would look like this:

The result is surprisingly violent. It's rather grisly with watch a burger (read: Americans) be blow to bits in a sushi air raid.

Watch out for the IED at the 4:45 mark.

Get the cheat sheet to decode the players here. Get the list of wars/battles included here.

Via Crispy on the Outside

Cross-posted at reason.tv 

Comments

JMR | March 18, 2008, 12:15pm | #

Wow. "A lot of time on his hands" hardly suffices to describe whoever made this...
JMR

mediageek | March 18, 2008, 12:25pm | #

Utter, sheer brilliance.

Elemenope | March 18, 2008, 12:45pm | #

Impressive. Most impressive.

JW | March 18, 2008, 12:56pm | #

Pretty damn clever stuff.

Anyone pick up on the Cubans? I missed that.

GILMORE | March 18, 2008, 1:05pm | #

Totally awesome.

My favorite was the Korean war. The kimchi backed up by the egg rolls fighting at the Yalu river was Clevvvv-errrr.

I started to get confused with vietnam and the middle east. Personally I think there should have been falafel instead of shish-kebabs, but who am I.

Also, funniest use of food was the jews (matzoh) being rescued from the death camps by an American bagel with lox on it. Subtle and cute. If death camp executions by bratwust can be cute.

GILMORE | March 18, 2008, 1:08pm | #

Yeah dude, the cubans were the 'cuban' sandwich (ham turkey swiss with pickles on pressed galic bread) with the russians (smorgasborg) secretly stuffed inside.

I thought the russians werent the best food - I would have had a bowl of borscht. PLUS it's Red. And it could shoot dollops of sour cream. The smorgasborg looked too goopy.

GILMORE | March 18, 2008, 1:10pm | #

Also, i though the germans as salted pretzels was wrong. Bratwurst/wienerschitzel should have been backed up by sourkraut. I guess it's harder to shoot sourkraut

Citizen Nothing | March 18, 2008, 1:11pm | #

This reminded me of a very cool and powerful stop-animation short called "Canfilm" made, I think, by an Eastern European director back in the early 90s. It involved (if I remember correctly) a government of totaliarian tin cans enforcing their will on the citizen cans. Anybody know what I'm talking about? I wish I could find a copy somewhere.

GILMORE | March 18, 2008, 1:11pm | #

Oh man, my bad. The falafel *was* al qaeda!

Falafel jihad!

Whoever did this is a genius.

Citizen Nothing | March 18, 2008, 1:15pm | #

A Web search shows Canfilm was made by a Bulgarian named Zlatin Radev. Anyone know whatever happened to old Zlatin?

JW | March 18, 2008, 1:26pm | #

Oh man, my bad. The falafel *was* al qaeda!

Memories of Hot Shots Part Deux coming back in waves. Nooooo....NOOOOOO....

I did like the one "nugget" of falafel slipping away quietly in the end.

Taktix® | March 18, 2008, 1:39pm | #

Wow, this looks tastier than a sack of kidneys!

dead_elvis | March 18, 2008, 1:56pm | #

Brilliant. And it is remarkable how gory the violence comes across.

Elemenope | March 18, 2008, 2:27pm | #

Most nauseatingly brilliant moment for me was the "Arms race" sequence, where the burger and the smorgasborg would expand in turn unto absurd dimensions.

thoreau | March 18, 2008, 2:51pm | #

I thought it was beef stroganoff, not smorgasboard.

Anyway, there was something fishy about the 9/11 portrayal. Would cheese really melt at that temperature?

Bronwyn | March 18, 2008, 3:23pm | #

I'm hungry

Warren | March 18, 2008, 3:44pm | #

I thought it was beef stroganoff, not stroganoff .

AAAAGGGHHH smorgasboard??? SMORGASBOARD!? GODDAMNED FUCKING SMORGASBOARD

Yes, thank you thoreau it was indeed stroganoff. But you still didn't stop my head from exploding.

Calling a dish smorgasbord is like calling it buffet.

Warren | March 18, 2008, 3:46pm | #

and now I'm having cut and paste problems.

Is it after six yet? No? How about noon? Is the bar open?

Brian Sorgatz | March 18, 2008, 4:09pm | #

How can I expect the foods I eat to "agree with me" if they don't even get along with each other? BURP!

GILMORE | March 18, 2008, 5:03pm | #

thoreau | March 18, 2008, 2:51pm | #
I thought it was beef stroganoff, not smorgasboard.


Sorry, yes. Strogonoff.

Smorgasbord is swedish too i think. I dunno really. Thoreau, Warren, you pwned me here. I will get you one day. ONE DAY!!

(NYC city slice of pizza wheels in behind me to assault you all)

GILMORE | March 18, 2008, 5:06pm | #

Anyway, there was something fishy about the 9/11 portrayal. Would cheese really melt at that temperature?

They should have had a shot of a cabal of Matzoh whispering to a "Big Mac" behind closed doors

peachy | March 18, 2008, 6:07pm | #

I guess that makes the Iranians the calvacade of bugs carrying off the smashed leftovers of Iraq...

joe | March 18, 2008, 8:36pm | #

Wake up America!

A little chunk of falafel meat cannot cause a twenty-patty-high uber-burger to collapse.

I blame the bagel with lox, and even some of the Fries.

Kjetil | March 18, 2008, 9:27pm | #

No single matzah was hurt in the attack on the twin burgers. I rest my case.

Kolohe | March 19, 2008, 3:06am | #

I was a little disappointed with no Panama. They could have used a sea bass (a corvina) - and kicked even more ass.