Fewest Americans in Forty Years Interested in Work, Fort Lee Residents Suing Chris Christie Over Lane Closures, Book Claims Hollywood Actor Offered CIA Services in Exchange for Cocaine: P.M. Links

  • lolwork?David Shankbone/Foter.comFewer Americans are looking for work than at any time since the 1970s, as the job growth slows and the official unemployment rate drops to 6.7 percent. Harry Reid is blocking Republicans from offering amendments to a bill extending unemployment benefits, jeopardizing the bill’s chance at passage.
  • The NSA is still lobbying to keep as much of its power as possible ahead of an expected announcement by President Obama on reforms.
  • Sixty-seven Democrats in the House voted for a bill requiring the feds to inform users whose data is breached under Obamacare, despite opposition from Congressional Democratic leadership and the White House.
  • Six Fort Lee residents are filing a class action lawsuit against Governor Christ Christie over lane closures on the George Washington Bridge. Democrats, eager to exploit a good scandal, are releasing 1,000 pages of documents related to the lane closures.
  • A documentary filmmaker in Chicago claims in a lawsuit that police sodomized him with a gun in order to coerce him into being a drug informant
  • Bolivian President Evo Morales wants to use his time as the chair of the Group of 77 countries to push for the legalization of the coca leaf.
  • A book by acting general counsel of the CIA John Rizzo claims one Hollywood actor offered his services to the agency in exchange for $50k’s worth of good cocaine.

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    [Space reserved for Rufus J. something]

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Ha, ha.

    Good evening.

  • Enough About Palin||

    My best to you and the family, sir.

  • trshmnstr||

    good Friday afternoon, Honorable Sir Firefly!

    (Not to be confused with Good Friday afternoon, which doesn't happen for a few months)

  • playa manhattan||

    Can't wait for that! I'll be sipping Mai Tais somewhere that has palm trees...

  • Enough About Palin||

    That's what Jesus would do.

  • playa manhattan||

    I would hope so.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Just be careful who you invite to dinner.

  • playa manhattan||

    My Mother-in-Law would be a good candidate for Judas.

  • Entropy Void||

    Been there, done that .... every freakin' day!

  • playa manhattan||

    Where?

    I do have palm trees outside, but I drink beer at home...

  • Entropy Void||

    Palm Trees are everywhere and I drink at World of Beer as I can.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Harry Reid is blocking Republicans from offering amendments to a bill extending unemployment benefits, jeopardizing the bill’s chance at passage.

    Come on, GOP. The Dems need this for the mid-terms. Bad.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The NSA is still lobbying to keep as much of its power as possible ahead of an expected announcement by President Obama on reforms.

    For Pete's sake, NSA. It's gonna be business as usual. Don't embarrass yourselves by groveling.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    For Pete's sake, NSA. It's gonna be business as usual. Don't embarrass yourselves by groveling.

    This.

    Any "reforms" are going to be cosmetic. Not a goddamn thing will change in how they're actually able to operate.

  • Entropy Void||

    And how would we even know if it did ... or didn't?

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Because El Jefe is going to be totally forthcoming and honest with us this time. He promises.

  • Michael S. Langston||

    Like murderdroning, you can trust in it because we have the right to vote and in this great country of ours we have this system of checks and balances and it's no different here.

    After all, the president is required sign a secret law/order, in secret, which a secret court will rubber-stamp approve, but only after a very small percentage of legislators rubber-stamp approve... also in secret, all of whom are barred from ever mentioning a word of any of it or they will face life altering consequences (like jail forever)... because it's all secret.

    But it's a fair, deliberative, and open process which any commonsense American can tell is necessary.

    I know - some people, even people you may know well... might tell you things like "Don't trust the government", but they're cynics, naves, dolts, and entirely backward.

    To that I say - don't listen to the naysayers when they start pushing their anarchist, evil negativity. Instead, while they rattle on, just remember, if the founding fathers trusted you with voting, you should be able to trust your government with these awesome powers.

    After all, they only exist to make things better and they are the citizens' only possible escape from corporate totalitarianism.

    /Obama, DailyKos, MSNBC, CNN, Slate, Biden, people with Che T-shirts, other cultists, et al

  • ||

    A book by acting general counsel of the CIA John Rizzo claims one Hollywood actor offered his services to the agency in exchange for $50k’s worth of good cocaine.

    I don't have any guesses.

  • playa manhattan||

    Names or it didn't happen.

  • Jerry on the boat||

    Andy Dick!

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Good guess.

    She's not Hollywood but is on the Food Network and other prime time channels but still...

    Nigella!

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    No mention of her addiction so far on "The Taste".

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Need more...coke...I mean, er, cumin. Wait. That didn't come out right...tumeric!

  • Killaz||

    For a brief moment in time, I was up to my gills in free coke. To think, I was this close to closing the deal on Giada!

  • playa manhattan||

    Paula Dean lost a mysterious amount of weight, so...

  • C. Anacreon||

    Andy Dick!

    Sorry, the original quote said it was an "actor." That would imply someone with at least a little bit of talent.

    I was in a small local bar in San Francisco about 15 years ago when a limo pulled up and Andy Dick popped out, and he then rushed past us into the bathroom. He could be heard heaving for a few minutes. He then wobbled out, his faux-fur collar covered in puke, and got back into the car. Didn't see him again that day, or ever again on TV, IIRC.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    He was funny on Newsradio though.

  • Warrren||

    That was a well-written show. He wasn't particularly needed for that part.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Good point.

    Yes, very well written.

  • Medical Physics Guy||

    Now there's a name I never thought I would hear again. Maybe that is PBP's true identity?

  • The DerpRider||

    "Good cocaine" implies this is a connoisseur. I say Charlie Sheen.

  • Brett L||

    Or his father.

  • playa manhattan||

    Yeah, probably somebody older. Maybe Jack Nicholson.

  • Warrren||

    FROST!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Six Fort Lee residents are filing a class action lawsuit against Governor Christ Christie over lane closures on the George Washington Bridge.

    I better call my doctor because this Bridgeghazi erection just won't go down.

  • Brett L||

    Christ Christie? Well that's going to help him among Evangelicals.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Well, I'm sure this career-ending scandal is excruciating for him.

  • Brett L||

    You think his career will rise again on the third day?

  • trshmnstr||

    I feel like this is a recycled Anthony Weiner joke.

  • Brett L||

    C'mon. That aide wasn't ugly enough to bring Weiner back to attention.

  • CE||

    But I though Obama was the messiah....

  • BSubversive.com||

    Look at Lena Dunham naked...

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    Why Lena Dunham likes to be naked:

    "It's because it's a realistic expression of what it's like to be alive, I think, and I totally get it," Dunham replied. "If you are not into me, that's your problem, and you are going to have to kind of work that out."
  • playa manhattan||

    I've come to terms with it.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The reporter whose question they freaked out on should have thanked them for the Newt Gingrich answer.

  • ||

    Discussed in a.m. links and I still agree with her. If she wants to cast herself naked in her own show whatever.

  • Killaz||

    I didn't see what she said beyond that quote above but if it was, 'I get naked a lot to distract from the fact I don't have the talent to carry an HBO show' then I would have to agree with her as well.

  • ||

    It got renewed for a 4th season, maybe carrying an HBO show is a lower bar than you think. She is the producer and writer of the show beyond being the star as well.

    Seeing an ugly naked body really isn't that traumatizing, if I didn't find the few glimpses of the show I've seen entirely unfunny ugly nudity isn't going to turn me away from the show.

  • Killaz||

    The barrier she breaks with fugly nudity damages the positive evolution* of the species by lowering the acceptable standards of beauty.

    * note the qualifier to avoid any misunderstanding.

  • Irish||

    It got renewed for a 4th season, maybe carrying an HBO show is a lower bar than you think.

    It also gets terrible ratings. The first season got a mediocre 1,000,000 viewers for the season finale. The second season got an awful 632,000. HBO then inexplicably renewed the show for a fourth season before the third season even started.

    HBO keeps renewing it because of the hype it generates. Its ratings are bad.

  • Warrren||

    That's about the size of MSNBC's audience.

    And I'm sure there is significant overlap. Yet, despite being few in numbers they control a large part of the political discourse.

  • ||

    Well that just adds to the fact that the bar is lower.

  • Irish||

    Well that just adds to the fact that the bar is lower.

    But HBO normally brings in pretty good ratings. True Blood has had its ratings go down the last few years and it still got 4.1 million viewers according to numbers I just googled. Game of Thrones pulled in 5.5 million and its ratings have gotten higher every year.

    I know that a show like Girls would never bring in those kind of numbers, but is it really too much to ask to make a show that gets a million viewers when you've got this much critical buzz?

  • ||

    Look I agree with your assessment of the show but the fact of the matter is that HBO continues to renew it. It doesn't matter the reason why. She continues to get paid and will continue to cast herself nude if she feels like it.

  • ||

    You also cherry picked some of their higher rated shows. Bored to Death, one of the shows Girls replaced, got less than half of Girls' ratings and that show was hilarious.

  • Irish||

    That show's also cancelled.

    On Showtime, Shameless had 2 million viewers and House of Lies had 1.19 million.

    Those are low cost comedies produced by one of HBO's competitors which air on the same night as Girls. The lower rated of the two gets twice Girls' ratings.

  • ||

    And they're ending Boardwalk Empire after next season the fuckers.

    But Girls is probably their least expensive show to produce, especially in comparison to Game of Thrones and Boardwalk. And HBO is about subscribers, not ratings so they can get away with Girls sucking because people subscribe to watch Game of Thrones,.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    I just started Orange is the new black...it is funny kinda.

  • The Knarf Yenrab||

    I loved the first two seasons of BE, but it lost its core when Jimmy left. It's still one of the better shows on television, but it's time.

  • ||

    Killing Jimmy was necessary from a story point of view, there really wasn't much more you could do with him.

    Lesser shows would have balked at killing off a lead character like that so I respect the show for its willingness to take risks. Season 3 was entertaining with an over-the-top villain but you're right that it felt a little aimless.

    The most recent season was much better in part because of the Dr. Narcisse and FBI story lines and in part because we got almost no Margaret.

    I was hoping the show would encompass the entire Roaring Twenties. As it is they left off in 1924 so that's a lot of history to cover, especially with the Capone story.

  • The Knarf Yenrab||

    Agree that they took the only path they could with Jimmy, and I've heard that Pitt didn't play nice with the producers. The writers don't seem to know what to do with a lot of their characters, though, and as great as van Alden and Harrow are, they've been just drifting around the past couple of years. Chalky's another example--great character and actor, but he just doesn't have a lot to do other than react to the Nucky-driven plot.

    It's still one of about three or four must-watch shows for me. The first two seasons were one of the best tragedies tv has ever produced.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    I bet you a show with two Canadian hosers jerking off and clubbing seals for 22 minutes telling jokes would get more viewers.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    It got renewed for a 4th season, maybe carrying an HBO show is a lower bar than you think. She is the producer and writer of the show beyond being the star as well.

    It's also got Apatow backing it and critics have been tongue-bathing it from the beginning, so it would take an act of God to get it off the air at this point unless Dunham just got bored. Shit, look how long HBO stuck with True Blood after it was clear the writers had completely run out of ideas.

  • Irish||

    Or how long Showtime went with Dexter even though it peaked in season 4.

  • ||

    Just finished the final season last night. I didn't get the hate. While 5 was just ok (especially with the taste of season 4 still fresh), season 6 and 7 were nearly unwatchable. However, I thought 8 was very good at adding further depth to his origin and ended the series very well.

  • Irish||

    Seriously? The final episode made no sense. Why did he go hang out in the woods with lumberjacks?

  • The Knarf Yenrab||

    Dexter's writers took the deus ex machina to heights unknown to Euripides.

  • Mickey Rat||

    I figure she gets naked a lot because she has an exhibitionist streak. Everything I've heard about that show says it is vehicle to permit her to indulge her peculiarities, which is nice work if you can convince someone to pay for it.

  • Killaz||

    If you are so in touch with yourself and proud of your body as you claim, Dunham, then why are you so defensive about it?

  • ||

    Those were my thoughts as well. The questions and veiled criticism within them seem to be finally getting to her.

    Like Apatheist, none of this really matters though. She can do what she wants. I would like to see a complete unraveling of a progressive millenial icon though.

  • Killaz||

    The species will be better off for generations to come if we assert social pressure on ourselves to be better in all categories, intelligence, athletic prowess, literacy, general knowledge and, yes, aesthetics. We should demand Victoria Secrets shows to be done in the nude, and Dunham to be covered head to toe in cloth.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    "It's because it's a realistic expression of what it's like to be alive."

    That makes no fucking sense. It 'sounds' esoterically smart but it's vapid nonsense. I should think it's more to justify 'bad behavior.' It's hipster talk more than anything.

  • Enough About Palin||

    "It's because it's a realistic expression of what it's like to be alive."

    So is farting.

  • Zeb||

    Exactly. And farting is always a welcome and hilarious feature of any TV show.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    It should be.

    Or at least farting shouldn't be the social taboo that it is.The kind that can get an 11 year old boy kicked off the safety patrol for faring in the cafeteria.

  • Anonymoose||

    Were you on the safety patrol by chance?

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Yes.

    I farted something nasty in the cafeteria one day when I had a stomach issue that lasted for a couple of months. I was kicked off of the safety patrol for fucking farting.

  • Zeb||

    Seems accurate enough to me. A realistic depiction of my home life would also involve fairly frequent nudity for no titillating or artistically important reason.

  • Irish||

    My nudity always serves a narrative purpose.

  • Ted S.||

    As opposed to your drunkenness.

  • Dead or In Jail||

    Here, let me translate.

    Clearer Dunham: Nudity is a part of life. I'm trying to make a realistic show. Most people are ugly like me and, believe it or not, we get naked too.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    And make man-crush videos about Obama how you would want to lose your virginity to him.

  • The Knarf Yenrab||

    That's the way that species of person communicates. Admitting that you enjoy being naked and receiving attention for it is strictly verboten for the modern babbling artist.

    Me, I enjoy looking at naked women of all varieties, so I'm good with Dunham's artistimystical justifications.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    That makes no fucking sense. It 'sounds' esoterically smart but it's vapid nonsense. I should think it's more to justify 'bad behavior.' It's hipster talk more than anything.

    It absolutely makes sense.

    Are you naked only when you're fucking or bathing? That's the point she's trying to make. That sometimes going to the fridge to get a coke while in the buck is reality.

  • playa manhattan||

    Not for me. I have a boner most of the time, so my intentions are easily misinterpreted.

  • ||

    Have you spoken with a doc about that?

  • playa manhattan||

    Yeah. He told me to go pick up my "Luckiest Man in America" medal from the nurse at the front desk.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Pretty much.

    Anyway. She can do what she wants. Her show, her life.

    Just spare the babble is all.

  • Brett L||

    I worked it out. I choose not to watch. Although frontal female nudity hasn't drawn me to a show in years. Maybe Dream On in the early 90s?

  • Killaz||

    I started watching Deadwood after happening on a scene where a lass lifts up her skirt to show her muff just before shooting a guy, so it works on me at least.

  • ||

    That was season three! Start at the beginning, man. That same gal pops a guy through the skull and he lives long enough to the doc to poke an ice pick through the bullet hole and out the other side while he's still muttering.

  • Killaz||

    I did. I got the HBO online subscription, and got caught up on the entire run. I enjoyed that as well. An awesome Ambrose Bierce like touch that fit the mood of the show well.

  • ||

    I have no idea what anyone said during that entire show.

  • ||

    Not even Wu?

  • Entropy Void||

    SWIGEN!

  • mad libertarian guy||

    I have no idea what anyone said during that entire show.

    Cunt. That's all you need to know.

  • Entropy Void||

    Agreed.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    A book by acting general counsel of the CIA John Rizzo claims one Hollywood actor offered his services to the agency in exchange for $50k’s worth of good cocaine.

    His. Right. We all know it was Jessica Tandy.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Huh. You usually don't hear Fred Rogers referred to as an actor, though, technically, I guess he was.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Willis, maybe?

  • Enough About Palin||

    Whuchu talkin' about?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Christ Christie?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Denied three times before the cock crowed. Except he's the one doing the denying. And he's the one that got the 30 pieces. So yeah, Christ Christie.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Six Fort Lee residents are filing a class action lawsuit against Governor Christ Christie over lane closures on the George Washington Bridge.

    Given that he (allegedly) had no knowledge of the closing and was not involved in the incident, aren't they suing the wrong person?

  • playa manhattan||

    To bad Christie can't send the CIA in to make everybody involved sign Non Disclosure Agreements...

  • The Last American Hero||

    I'm not defending Christie, but as pointed out in the WSJ today, heads rolled and an apology was promptly issued. Unlike IRS scandals or Benghazi or Obamacare or Summer of Recovery or failed Stimulus II the electric bugaloo, or QE 7 or whatever were up to now.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I agree. Just as a matter of pure politics, Christie's handling of his scandal provides an amazingly stark contrast to the nonhandling of the Obama scandals.

    Not that Christie isn't dead meat, anyway. He either knew about it or allowed a culture of bullying led by very senior staff. No way he survives that. Not as a Republican, anyway.

  • Killaz||

    That is why the selective bias of which Team the media favors is so damaging to the Republic. I hate like Hell to vote for either one of them except when a real anti-establishment type breaks through, but when a Republican argues that at least their side is held accountable, they have a valid point.

  • wareagle||

    He either knew about it or allowed a culture of bullying led by very senior staff.

    same could be said for Obama and most any place where this sort of thing happens.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Indeed. In Libertate World, Obama would've been impeached and convicted years ago, by a unanimous vote. Along with probably 100 other members of his administration.

  • Gilbert Martin||

    Yes but the "D" team is running the administrative branch of the federal government.

    So the MSM is operating in it's slavish, sycophant steno pool mode unless and until the "R" team takes over again.

  • Killaz||

    They only get slavish to Republicans when there is a war in Iraq to promote as in 90-91, 02-03. When Republicans are talking tax and spending cuts, entirely different response.

  • Tonio||

    IANAL. Presumably they have engaged counsel who have advised them about who they can sue. Even if he had no direct personal knowledge they may be suing him in his capacity as governor (as opposed to personally). They may or may not also be suing the head of the NJ DOT.

    Time will tell.

  • Pro Libertate||

    If there are really are criminal charges in play (federal anti-corruption laws may be one angle), we should find out the truth about whether Christie was involved.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    QUIZ HOTSHOT: You are awaiting an important phone call, but suddenly you have to take a massive dump.
    WHAT DO YOU DO

  • ||

    Take my phone with me

  • playa manhattan||

    Yeah. If you don't have a grunting problem, what's the bid deal?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Ask yourself what would LBJ do.

  • trshmnstr||

    He'd get the tattered remains of the Constitution from the compost pile of FDR's mansion and wipe with it.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    the acoustics are awful

  • playa manhattan||

    I have 1 carpeted bathroom, where the acoustics are OK. I do have to have it steam cleaned pretty often, though...

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Carpeted bathrooms are the worst. The very first thing I did when I moved in to both houses we've bought was change the carpeted bathrooms to tile.

  • playa manhattan||

    The previous owner of my house was a retired Japanese couple, so there is a lot of weird shit I haven't fixed yet. The shower head is level with my chest, for one. Also, there was one of those robot bidet toilets that was a little creepy looking. I ripped that out and smashed it to pieces, and then found out later that it was worth like a thousand bucks...

  • ||

    then found out later that it was worth like a thousand bucks...

    Yeah, reading that you smashed it made me cringe.

  • playa manhattan||

    That's the kind of thing you just have to know... Unfortunately, I didn't.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I was in a hotel in Tokyo that had a mirror in the bathroom that was maybe 18 inches too short.

  • playa manhattan||

    Penis mirror?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Perhaps, but my frustration with it was that I couldn't see my face.

    That was the first time I saw a mirror that was steam/fog proof, which was cool.

  • Entropy Void||

    Did you at least replace it with a decent Canukistaner toilet?

  • playa manhattan||

    So are you in Canada, or do you live where there are tropical drinks and palm trees. I'm so confused...

  • Entropy Void||

    I live in Central Florida with multiple
    varieties of palms and yet pine for a decent Canukistaner toilet.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Shoot the hostage.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I'm trying to figure out why these Obamacare porn sites wouldn't have to report security breaches in the first place. Certainly, any private operator would have to do so.

  • Ted S.||

    You expect the government to held to the same standards as the private sector?

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!111!!!

  • Pro Libertate||

    No, I expect them to be held to higher standards. [Can't keep straight face, breaks into raucous laughter.]

  • ||

    Incidentally, the pornhub guys did an AMA on reddit the other day and they mention that the formally offered the Obama administration their services to fix the obamacare site. Apparently they were rejected. Also had Komen reject 25k in donations from their breast cancer fundraiser.

  • ||

    That reminds me of this retardation.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    When ideology prevails over good acts.

  • Ted S.||

    The more I hear, the more I get the impression that the Komen people are actively evil.

  • Brett L||

    I know, its like HIPAA magically doesn't apply because it would be inconvenient, when it clearly applies to federal agencies as illustrated by the VA complying with breach notification statutes.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Well, to be sure, Congress is exempt from insider trading laws, so why should something like this be a problem? Accountability is for little people.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Fewer Americans are looking for work than at any time since the 1970s, as the job growth slows and the official unemployment rate drops to 6.7 percent.

    WINTER OF RECOVERY.

  • CE||

    Going to work every day is a false consciousness, man.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Turn on, tune in, drop out.

  • ||

    SCOTUS to take up Aereo case

  • Brett L||

    I don't see how they are going to get around the fact that Aereo is complying with the black letter law.

  • ||

    Because the Constitution doesn't matter when it comes to propping up a dying industry.

    I love (ahem) that PBS is among the plaintiffs.

  • Ted S.||

    Aereo's charges were neither a penalty nor a tax?

  • Zeb||

    How is that any different from what cable started out as?

    I guess cable pays the stations to transmit their content.

  • ||

    Yes, they pay.

    However, they don't have individual antennas for each of their subscribers.

  • ||

    the official unemployment rate drops to 6.7 percent

    It's easy for that number to "drop" every month when they quietly revise the starting point back up.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    That U-3 sure looks politicized to me. Maybe it has been for a long time. Personally, I take the U-6 as the more meaningful number, and at 13.1% it's almost double the U-3. 1 in 8 working-age adults are not working.

  • Brett L||

    Step 1: Find armor for my unstoppable cat army

    Step 2: Teach cat army to march in formation. Hey! Goddammitkitty, everybody together now!

  • PD Scott||

    "Yu needs uh neu hobbies, hoomin. Ah worries abut yus."

  • Ted S.||

    "Lolcats was never funny."

  • PD Scott||

    That's my take on the cat in the photographs expression, BTW, not about your plan for an unstoppable cat army, which I fully support.

    How do you plan to overcome your enemies elite laser pointer squads?

  • Brett L||

    Shit. Back to the drawing board.

  • PD Scott||

    How about red filter goggles?

  • mad libertarian guy||

    How about if they use green lasers?

  • PD Scott||

    It's always something!

  • playa manhattan||

    Arms race!

  • ||

    This might be just the thing my cat needs to give him an edge in his battles with my dog.

  • Fluffy||

    You know the cat wearing that armor in the picture is tough because he just shat out the skull of another cat.

  • Archduke von Pantsfan||

    And what's the strangest place you've ever woken up?

  • BSubversive.com||

    That's certainly better than not waking up at all, although not by much.

  • Enough About Palin||

    I have never woken up in a strange place but I did have sex with a woman in the pastor's bed in a Catholic rectory.

  • From the Tundra||

    Going to hell, EAP. Going to hell.

    (Well done).

    A little more comfortable at the bus stop this morning?

  • Warrren||

    You're not supposed to do it in the rectory! Geeeeerossssasss!

  • From the Tundra||

    Natural family planning.

  • Mickey Rat||

    What did you do to have access to the pastor's bed?

  • Live Free or Diet||

    I have never woken up in a strange place but I did have sex with a woman in the pastor's bed in a Catholic rectory.

    I woke up once in my own bed with a warm, naked young woman snuggled up with me. Wonderful, except I had no idea who this lovely creature was. No, there were no drugs or alcohol in my system in the previous 72 hours.

  • ||

    The magical thinking of Robert Reich

    Businesses won't create new jobs without enough customers. But most Americans no longer have enough purchasing power to fuel that job growth.

    That's why it's so important to (1) raise the minimum wage at least to its inflation-adjusted value 40 years ago -- which would be well over $10 an hour, (2) extend unemployment benefits to the jobless, (3) launch a major jobs program to rebuild the nation's crumbling infrastructure, (4) expand Medicaid to the near-poor, (5) enable low-wage workers to unionize, (6) rehire all the teachers, social workers, police, and other public service employees who were laid off in the recession, (7) exempt the first $20,000 of income from Social Security payroll taxes and make up the difference by removing the cap on income subject to the tax.

    And because the rich spend a far smaller proportion of their earnings than the middle class and poor, pay for much of this by (8) closing tax loopholes that benefit the rich such as the "carried interest" tax benefit for hedge-fund and private-equity managers, (9) raise the highest marginal tax rate, and (10) impose a small tax on all financial transactions.

    One of the major political parties adamantly refuses to do any of this, and the other doesn't have the strength or backbone to make them.

  • playa manhattan||

    I thought the stimulus fixed our infrastructure...

  • andarm16||

    When you've got a national greatness boner, there is never enough infrastructure spending. If China can build trillion dollar boondoggles, why can't we?

  • CE||

    Maybe a Great Wall of America? On the Canadian border, to keep the Canucks out. One you can see from space, and made out of titanium so it lasts longer than that cheap wall from China.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Know how much money we pump into Vermont/New York?

    Todd from Ontario looks just like Tom from Minnesota.

  • PD Scott||

    All the attention we've focused on our southern border, ignoring the quiet, well-mannered invaders from the north, walking among us...

  • Ted S.||

    Until he opens his meuth and starts talking abeut things like Kraft Dinner, toques, and chesterfields

  • Entropy Void||

    Who is this "we" you speak of , Kimosabe?

  • The Last American Hero||

    I was told there was a multiplier.

  • Ted S.||

    The multiplier is 0.

  • C. Anacreon||

    I was actually making the minimum wage 40 years ago (well, 38 years ago, but the minimum wage was the same as 40 years ago) as a 15-year-old working scooping ice cream. The minimum wage then was $1.65 an hour. Would inflation have made 1.65 into more than 10.00 in just those 40 short years?

  • Invisible Finger||

    But it ruined our purchasing power.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Why doesn't the government just hand out gift certificates for favored businesses? Do I have to think of everything?

  • Invisible Finger||

    They already hand them out TO favored businesses.

  • BSubversive.com||

    So raising the cost of labor means more jobs?
    So raising the cost of business has no impact upon prices?

    What a mental midget, midget.

  • Reverend Jim Jones||

    Mentally and physically, he's 4'11".

  • MJGreen||

    Apparently, businesses don't have the money to hire more workers because they don't have enough customers.

    But they will have enough money to pay their workers 30%+ more.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    "which would be well over $10 an hour"

    Let's start at 10 dollars! I hear ten, ten dollars from the little kid with the beard in the front, do I hear more, 15, 15 from the fellow from Seattle, do I hear 18? 18? 20 from the little lady from Massachusetts!

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Wow, wow, WOW.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    "enable low-wage workers to unionize"

    I am pretty sure low wage workers are able to unionize under the same standards as any other workers, so I imagine by this he really means 'help and push low wage workers to unionize.'

    'exempt the first $20,000 of income from Social Security payroll taxes and make up the difference by removing the cap on income subject to the tax.'

    If the two unequivocally offset each other I would not protest that one.

  • ||

    I sure as fuck would, I don't want to pay a single fucking cent more into that money pit that will be bankrupt by the time I retire.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    Perhaps I am misunderstanding, but what I was getting at is if they amount of the exemptions for the first 20,000 were equal to or greater than the amount taken from lifting the cap then I would not protest (and yes, I assume he means the later benefits would be means tested).

  • ||

    And I would protest removing the cap no matter how balanced it is because I don't want to pay a single cent more into that money pit. Why wouldn't you protest a tax increase?

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    I would only support it if, as I understand it, it would at least be offset by a tax decrease for the first 20,000 of income being exempted from social security taxes.

    I would like to see lower taxes for everyone, period, but if the alternative is to shift some of the burden off the poor and onto the well off I do not protest that.

  • Restoras||

    This seems like a violation of the NAP to me.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    It is all a violation of the NAP and I said I would rather see both lowered, I am talking about tradeoffs.

  • ||

    I would like to see lower taxes for everyone, period, but if the alternative is to shift some of the burden off the poor and onto the well off I do not protest that.

    So you don't protest making the tax structure even more progressive? Do you realize that the top 25% or so of people are paying almost all of the income taxes already?

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    "So you don't protest making the tax structure even more progressive?"

    If the government does not grow any.

  • ||

    Oh and means tested too? So I have to pay more in and get less out (assuming its not bankrupt, which it will be)? Fuck that.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    Are you over the cap?

  • ||

    Yes, but it doesn't matter. I didn't subscribe to soaking the rich before I was.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    You can call what I am proposing 'soaking the rich' and I could call what you prefer 'taxing the poor.' That gets us nowhere.

  • ||

    I'm not advocating for a tax increase on the poor like you are on the rich.

  • Entropy Void||

    That gets us nowhere.

    Funny, so do most of your conversations ...

  • Zeb||

    he really means 'help and push low wage workers to unionize.'

    That and "force employers to deal with unions".

  • CE||

    That's my annual December raise you're talking about dude.

  • Invisible Finger||

    I sure the fuck would protest it.

    The whole reason for the income cap is because there is a benefit cap. Eliminating the cap means you essentially have taxation that can't be counted as taxation in your standardized deductions.

    The whole reason there is no floor is because everyone is eligible for benefits as long as they paid in something. Eliminate the first $20K and you essentially have a whole big set of people getting benefits they didn't pay into.

    The SSA math was shitty to begin with, but at the very worst is was a defined benefits scheme with elements of defined contribution. Your suggestion is to make it even more like public pension funds, which are even more fucked up.

  • Invisible Finger||

    in your standardized deductions.

    Meant plain-old deduction.

    You can't claim FICA as taxes paid on your 1040 because it is set up that you will (in theory) receive that back when you get you SSA benefits.

    Unless Reich specifically mentions that the current benefit caps remain, those non-capped funds will be non-capped benefits. Which is idiotic.

    So I assume they want to cap the benefits but not cap the contributions. Which is fraud.

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    Perhaps technically fraud, but who today still really thinks that SS is a program based on getting back what you paid in?

  • Restoras||

    No one. It is a straight up Ponzi scheme.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Damn you, The RT. Hon, for linking to Huff. I read a few comments and threw up some of my Mcdonald's apple pie.

    Lemme see if I understand. Give people taxpayer handouts so they ensure spending (in a consumer society) so that businesses will benefit and hire?

    That's what it has come to, huh? Really?

    In my world that's called an 'empty shell.'

    Especially in an economy that's in perpetual dead-cat bounce mode.

    Fuck me.

  • ||

    I find this particularly amusing since the left is always lamenting consumerism.

  • trshmnstr||

    They don't understand value, and why rampant inflation is bad. However, what do you expect?

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    That's why it's so important to (1) raise the minimum wage at least to its inflation-adjusted value 40 years ago -- which would be well over $10 an hour,

    1) Interesting that he picks this particular date; and

    2) he's still wrong. The inflation-adjusted level for 1974 was $9.46 an hour, per the BLS's inflation calculator.

    (4) expand Medicaid to the near-poor

    Medicaid and Medicare costs for FY12--over $1 trillion. And Medicare is now running a deficit.

    (7) exempt the first $20,000 of income from Social Security payroll taxes and make up the difference by removing the cap on income subject to the tax.

    Unless you means-test, this is cutting off your nose to spite your face, because eliminating the cap means greater payout obligations when those upper middle-class/wealthy people retire. But Reich will be dead and in his Tyrion-sized grave when it crashes down, so he doesn't have to give a shit.

  • Andrew S.||

    How dare you sully the name of Tyrion Lannister by comparing him to a mental midget like Robert Reich.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    To be fair, I said Tyrion-sized, not Tyrion-minded. But yes, Reich could learn a thing or two from Tyrion Lannister about how to not be such a whiny bitch.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    This also shows how bankrupt modern progressive economic thinking has become. Rather than come up with ideas that will legitimately increase capital and promote investment, as opposed to the rocket-ride of credit/debt creation and consumer price inflation that's taken place since the mid-1970s, Reich wants us to do the Bush II fix--"go shopping."

  • Pro Libertate||

    At least communists knew they needed NEPs and Great Leaps Forward. These idiots think you can spend nonexistent money forever, in any amounts.

    The market creates real wealth. Nothing else does.

  • Irish||

    How was the economy in the seventies when this higher minimum wage was in place?

    Oh...

  • Entropy Void||

    2) he's still wrong.

    Won't be his fist nor his last ...

  • Juice||

    enable low-wage workers to unionize

    What's stopping them now?

  • ||

    By "enable," Reich means force.

  • ||

    I could believe someone is ignorant enough to believe all of that shit, but he gives himself away when he parrots dem talking points and includes 'crumbling infrastructure'.

    Is he just reading off of a notecard the party gave him?

  • Invisible Finger||

    Reich should be more concerned about the crumbling infrastructure in his skull.

  • CE||

    Wouldn't just giving everyone 30 or 40K be cheaper, and make sure everyone can be a customer?

  • MJGreen||

    Businesses won't create new jobs without enough customers.

    Or without enough profit to invest in expansion.

    If "customers" can't afford the high price of Product A, businesses will look to make and sell the more affordable Product B. Supply creates its own demand.

    Fucking imbecile.

  • PD Scott||

    Foolish child mistaking false consciousness for hunger: Rescued child labor in China hated to go back to starving home.

    “'I didn’t want to go back home. In the factory, I was given rice and meat for meals. Back home, the only things we have are potatoes and corns.'

    In fact, most parents believe that to work as child labor is a better option than school. Compared with enduring impoverishment at home, it’s better for their kids to leave the mountains and work outside – after all, meals with meat are far better than potatoes every day."

  • Warrren||

    Wealthier, entitled, guilty-feels folk making the lives of the less fortunate worse?

    NOT POSSIBLE!

  • CE||

    I just want to point out that the orphans in my factories have several nutritious lunch options available at reasonable prices in the company cafeteria, staffed by orphans to keep costs down.

  • Sudden||

    Mine as well. And meat is one such option. I find it the easiest way to dispose of the orphans who pass out of exhaustion during the 17th hour of their shifts.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Sounds crazy but this is how the middle-class is built. It starts off ugly enough - like a business - and eventually works out.

    To us, it looks insane but in their context, it really is a viable option.

  • Warrren||

    That's how it worked in the round-eye industrial revolution.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    That's what I was thinking.

    With a Twist of Oliver.

  • Brett L||

    The life of a "healthy" unvaccinated person doesn't seem like that much fun.

    My two vaccinated children, on the other hand, have rarely been ill, have had antibiotics maybe twice in their lives, if that. Not like their mum. I got many illnesses requiring treatment with antibiotics. I developed penicillin-resistant quinsy at age 21—you know, that old-fashioned disease that supposedly killed Queen Elizabeth I and that was almost wiped out through use of antibiotics.*

  • playa manhattan||

    I have one of those fuckwads living across the street. My kids aren't allowed to play with his family.

  • NoVAHockey||

    "I have one of those fuckwads living across the street. My kids aren't allowed to play with his family"

    It's amazing how this is applicable to a lot more than vaccines.

  • playa manhattan||

    Yeah, that's not the worst thing about this guy. The lady who owns the house is an empty nester, and rents out rooms to people from her crazy church. This guy lives there for free, and his full time "job" is holding up pictures of aborted fetuses at nearby college campuses.

    I'm proud to say I've made him cry a few times.

  • Rich||

    May I respectfully ask how?

  • playa manhattan||

    He came to knock on my door to lecture me and my wife about abortion. This is when my oldest was 3 years and my wife was 8 months pregnant with our 2nd. My and my wife's stance on abortion should have been obvious to anybody who isn't a complete moron.
    I was already in a stressed mood and then he knocked on my door for the 3rd time while I was on an important conference call. I put the call (and 6 people) on hold, answered the door, and said this:
    "You're opposed to abortion because you want to control people's sex lives and force them into your religion. I'm opposed to abortion because I think it is wrong to kill babies. I'm so much better than you! Get the fuck off my doorstep and don't ever come back!"

  • playa manhattan||

    SLD: No intent here to start a culture war on abortion. I'm against aborting my own kids because I can provide a loving home. I have no such views for other people's kids.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    This is when my oldest was 3 years and my wife was 8 months pregnant with our 2nd. My and my wife's stance on abortion should have been obvious to anybody who isn't a complete moron.

    It should?

    It is somehow impossible for those who are okay with abortion being a legal option to have children of their own?

  • Irish||

    No one who believes abortion should be legal can possibly have any children.

    If you're pro-choice, it means you must abort every time the woman gets pregnant.

  • playa manhattan||

    He previously implied in passing that because I had been with my wife for 7 years before having children, we must have been doing something immoral.

    Either way, fuck the guy. I just said something I knew would hurt his feelings and make him go away. I don't usually treat human beings like that, but the guy wouldn't take a hint, and was aggressively barking up the wrong tree.

  • Brett L||

    Did you win the Jeopardy? My dad was in town and stopped by the house. I got all distracted visiting and didn't get back to it until about 5 minutes after the last online audition.

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    I acquitted myself alright, but not well enough to win. One question was "Who was prez before FDR?" and I totally blanked. It was embarrassing. Shouldn't have had that whiskey before the test.

  • CE||

    How can you blank when you know the question? They give you the answer first.

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    The online test is different. It's a standard question and answer format, not the "Jeopardy" format.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    I blank out too on Jeopardy answers I know. At least you went for it. Cheers to that.

    I average 35 answers. Add another 7 or so I know the answer but drew a blank.

    I don't know how to practice against that.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Playing by myself on the TV by the way. My wife used to buy me all these Jeopardy games too. Never really cracked 40 on a regular basis mostly because I'm just not versed in some categories.

  • playa manhattan||

    I'm good with science and geography, but I am very uncultured. It all depends of if the categories are to my favor..

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    I'm so-so with science and terrible in literature.

  • ||

    Excellent in television, movies, history and literature. Not very good when it comes to science categories and art.

  • playa manhattan||

    I haven't really seen a movie or read a book for pleasure for the last 5 years or so. When you mentioned the "Hunger Games" question, I had no idea what you were talking about.

  • Sudden||

    I excel at quirky categories like palandromes or things that contain a certain letter or word.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Yeah, geography, capitals, stuff like anagrams, begins with 'x', history, sports, cinema, I rip through.

    Botany not so much.

    But a lot of answers have clues in them so you can deduce the question.

  • playa manhattan||

    They don't give the results. They just call you sometime in the next year if you qualify. I was in the high 30's, maybe above 40 with lucky guesses. "Obese American" guessed his score as in the 30's also, and Serious Man wasn't sure...

  • Bo Cara Esq.||

    "Fewer Americans are looking for work than at any time since the 1970s"

    The President noted the disappointing numbers and promised to address them following his upcoming two week golf holiday.

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    Unless he fails to bring his handicap down. Then he's gotta hit the range.

  • Warrren||

    Handicap is politically incorrect. He's differently golf-abled.

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    He suffers from a loft* problem that's (obviously) not his fault.

    *lack of fucking talent

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Promised Zones.

    Magic.

    Look at the unicorns out yonder.

    So perty.

    Fixed.

  • ||

    Slate Fem-splains Lean Dunham and the sexist media

    Molloy’s question effectively reboots the discussion to a place where Dunham is again prompted to rationalize her body for critics who can only comprehend the more traditionally sexualized bodies on full display in a show like Game of Thrones. My colleague David Haglund put it this way: “To him, ‘by you particularly’ means ‘you, in particular, are naked with a frequency that I don’t understand.’ But it sounds like ‘I especially don’t get why you are naked; the nudity of the other [read, possibly: more conventionally attractive] actresses I get.’ ”

    What makes Molloy’s question so grating is that it operates through the soft, ambiguous sexism that marks modern discussions of women in the media, not in an old-school display of blatant misogyny that everyone now immediately recognizes as unacceptable. Lena Dunham isn’t just working against a media landscape that devalues and objectifies women; she must also contend with critics who are so casually unaware of that landscape that they just can’t “get” her work, so they throw up their hands and call it “random.”

  • trshmnstr||

    I think this whole thing is entirely boring... maybe because I don't get the premium channels? Idk.

  • ||

    It is all marketing to get people to realize that there are naked women on the show and therefor watch it.

    Which at the moment no one is doing.

  • PD Scott||

    So many psychics with the ability to peer into people's minds and explain what they REALLY meant!

  • Zeb||

    Everyone just needs to shut up. If you don't want to see something, don't watch it.

  • MJGreen||

    But it sounds like ‘I especially don’t get why you are naked; the nudity of the other [read, possibly: more conventionally attractive] actresses I get.’ ”

    OK, but that's clearly not what he said. He said that Dunham is nude far more often than others. Because she is.

  • Mike M.||

    The few people who are working and the more people who are on permanent welfare, the stronger our economy is!

  • CE||

    Only because someone mistakenly put government spending in the GDP equation a long time ago, and people keep copying the mistake.

  • The Knarf Yenrab||

    The best way to cure a fever is to redefine normal body temperature.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    When the Bengals Were Good
    ...Everything flowed from there, right up until two hours before the AFC Championship Game against the Bills, when, incredibly, Wyche was informed that the league planned to penalize the Bengals 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct every time it went without a huddle.

    The league's position was that since Levy had said he would fake injuries to slow the scheme, the integrity of the game was on the line. Wyche responded by asking the Cincinnati front office to remind then-commissioner Pete Rozelle of the gambling implications of telling a team it couldn't run its base offense two hours before such a heavily bet game.

    "They left to call Rozelle," Wyche says. "Twenty seconds later, they were back, saying we could run the no-huddle."...

  • Ted S.||

    The NFL has a big pile of money, and dammit, that's just not fair!

    Butthurt yinzer fan files civil motion to put Steelers in NFL playoffs

    Obviously, the civil complaint by Spuck -- an inmate in Mercer County Jail -- won't change anything, but it's an amusing read.

  • B.P.||

    Yup. And then, after bitching about it, Marv Levy went no-huddle with his offense the next year and amnesiacs across the land credited him with inventing it.

  • ||

  • Ted S.||

    Unless there's also a Herense, that's sexist.

  • ||

    It's already sexist. Everybody knows women can't hold large phones and never ever buy them.

  • Fluffy||

    No joke, I saw this link and thought, "That's not very big for a vibrator. Am I supposed to be impressed?"

  • C. Anacreon||

    It's kind of like the old joke, "If my penis was two inches shorter, it would be a foot."

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    A documentary filmmaker in Chicago claims in a lawsuit that police sodomized him with a gun in order to coerce him into being a drug informant

    Going after a documentary filmmaker doesn't sound like a smart thing to do. Even for Chicago cops.

  • Brett L||

    On the other hand, sodomizing a non-cooperative "civilian" with a gun is right in their wheelhouse, so I'm torn.

  • Rich||

    The one-sentence bill says that no later than two business days after any security breach on an ObamaCare site is discovered, "the Secretary of Health and Human Services shall provide notice of such breach to each individual."

    With all due respect, why TF would the White House oppose that? Unless .... Ah, of course! They must want it to be no later than *one* business day!

  • ||

    They would oppose it because it would generate bad press, and they know they'll have enough breaches to generate a lot of bad press.

  • Andrew S.||

    Because, as we learned yesterday, since there hasn't been a data breach (that we know of) yet, it means that one will never happen, and that this bill is obviously a ploy by Republicans to get rid of Obamacare. Or something.

  • The Other Kevin||

    Maybe they know there have been data breaches, and this means they will have to buy typewriters and hire stenographers to send letters to all 728 of the people who signed up for Obamacare. That would be embarassing.

  • CE||

    Because that's a lot of phone calls for the Secretary of HHS to make?

  • andarm16||

    I would be shocked if they were even able to detect a breach if one occurred. I would imagine that with all of the firefighting that they had to do to get a system that was marginally usable, that they were probably just throwing code into production, with no QA / testing at all. I could also see the audit trails being disabled (if they even had time to program / implement such things in the first place) to save disc space / processor, along with a hundred other worst practice optimizations. If the code can be FOIAed it would be good fun to read through.

  • ||

    Jezebel's guide to casual sex

    BARFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, I hate new sex. And I know it's a thing (maybe a sitcom thing?) to bitch about having to do a fake porn moan under the same sweaty, hairy, disgusting meatsack of a pre-corpse you've been holding your farts in under for the last five or 10 or 15 years or whatever, but I don't even care: I WANT THAT.

    I'm over the rush of the new; bring on the last dick I'm ever gonna suck.

    And I get your objection, I really do. Current boyfriend doesn't buy you flowers or appreciate your pot roast or bother to clean his beard whiskers from where they've pooled in a blob of toothpaste in the sink and the last thing you fucking want to do after spending your morning scrubbing the dried pee sprinkles from the floor around the toilet (THAT IS WHAT THOSE CLOROX WIPES ON THE SINK ARE FOR, YOUNG MAN) is hike your comfy nightshirt up and slide the crotch of your underwear over just enough for him to get his ¾ erection into your delicate ladybits, so you think "Hot damn, wouldn't it be super rad to bang some shiny new gentleman caller?"

    PROBABLY. Chances are this next one's weird quirks are totally going to stress you out, too, but at the very least they will have that new car smell.

    As told to us by this woman

  • Pro Libertate||

    Dear Lord.

  • Warrren||

    Rog and Rerun from What's Happening had an unfortunate accident in some teleportation lab somewhere.

  • Ted S.||

    BARFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, I hate new sex

    As opposed to used sex?

  • trshmnstr||

    no, "pre-owned, certified sex"

  • Warrren||

    No 21 point inspection either.

  • trshmnstr||

    My poor brain.

  • ||

    She could also write:

    Many people eventually decide they are tired of casual sex and settle down. This often occurs naturally, without much prodding.

    That is perfectly acceptable. And some people don't reach that point, or take longer to do so, and that is acceptable too.

    GROUNDBREAKING

  • MJGreen||

    That sounds way too tolerant and general. She's trying to convince you that she is right, and you need to agree with her.

  • Rich||

    bring on the last dick I'm ever gonna suck.

    *** rising intonation ***

    What if the one after that belongs to You-Know-Who?

  • Irish||

    These people seem to hate everything.

  • ||

    I hardly know what to say. What a miserable person. I think I feel pity for her.

  • PD Scott||

    I bet the guy drips his pee on the floor passive-aggressively.

  • playa manhattan||

    Admit it. Pity AND arousal.

  • Sudden||

    She'd be priviledged by my whiteness

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    Truly miserable.

  • Killaz||

    I know one guy who admitted to me he was a poor piss target hitter. He refused to sit down like a bitch, so at his girlfriend's place, he had Dixie cups placed in there under the excuse they were used for gargling. No. He peed in the cups, poured them into the toilet carefully, rinsed out the cups, and threw them away. All to avoid floor splatter. As insane as that sounded, I gave him points for being considerate.

  • ||

    What he needs is a bigger target, like the bathtub.

  • ||

    That's stupid. Just sit the hell down.

  • Killaz||

    I agree that it is nuts, but where is the honor in that?

  • ||

    I don't understand what the hell is wrong with sitting down to pee, as long as it's not a public toilet. The "peeing sitting down is for pussies" meme is dumb.

  • Killaz||

    How is it dumb when vaginas were literally designed to be pissed out of when squatting, and dicks were not? Sure, if you come from a utilitarian society with no concept of honor all of those social mores based on the differences between the sexes come across as stupid to you, but then that turns into its own form of ignorance when those difference that really do exist become lost on you.

  • ||

    Neither dicks nor vaginae were designed for anything.

  • Killaz||

    Now, you're just being fussy. What would you prefer, 'vaginas were literally designed evolved to function to be pissed out of when squatting, and dicks were not?

    Does that make you happy, Bo?

  • ||

    Does that make you happy, Bo?

    Ouch. That one hurt.

    Anyway, about three minutes ago I sat down on the toilet and peed. It was splendid.

  • Killaz||

    The domestic help is getting sick of my live in nephew's splatter. I would not mind if he sat down, would not think less of him, but he isn't going to do that. I'm considering telling him about my friend's solution to the problem (he volunteered that information earlier in the day, after I told him about my own situation) so I don't have to kick his ass. I agree, it sounds nuts. But if it can work out this problem on the domestic side with my wife, I'm all for it.

  • Irish||

    Anyway, it doesn't matter what something was designed for. We're human beings and we make our own destiny.

    When you see a man sitting on the toilet to pee, you might see a pussy who should be standing up. What I see is the noble human spirit taking its destiny into its own hands.

  • trshmnstr||

    You know what I see? My own damn urinal, because I know better than having wandering eyes in a public restroom.

  • ||

    What a weirdo.

  • ||

    It be hard not to notice somebody sitting on a urinal though.

  • Killaz||

    I recall a kid in fourth grade having to be taught not to poop in one. Thankfully, I wasn't in his class so didn't actually see it.

  • playa manhattan||

    I don't see the point. He would just forget it when he went to college anyway...

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Except to fuck each other.

  • ||

    I know it's a bit late but, uh, Killaz...ladies don't pee out of their vaginas.

  • Nooge.||

    MIND = BLOWN

  • Killaz||

    I know it's a bit late but, uh, Killaz...ladies don't pee out of their vaginas.

    Why is it women find it so necessary to lie? I was once pissed on in the face because my Cartman impression made her giggle while I was going down on her. I know what I saw.

  • Killaz||

  • ||

    where is the honor in that?

    None and nowhere

    You sit down you may as well put on pantyhose and blow your brains out.

  • ||

    I agree with most of this.

  • ||

    Yeah, the message isn't all that controversial -- or interesting -- IMO, but the delivery is insane.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Dear Lord for real.

  • MJGreen||

    That paragraph was quite the adventure. I need a cigarette.

  • Irish||

    How did everyone miss this part?

    HIDE YOUR GOOD GROCERIES.

    Caps Lock on because I mean that shit. Last dude I had up in here was like, "Hey, can I get a glass of water?" and came back to my bed with the Brita pitcher, a package of sopressata still wrapped in butcher paper, an unopened bag of Oreos, and a container of expensive-ass Whole Foods marcona almonds.

    All I could do was sit there, mouth slack in disbelief, and watch this dude eat the three-piece mild from Popeyes I was saving for breakfast in two gigantic bites as his slimy penis recoiled back into his body. Now I keep some bottled water on the nightstand. HE ATE MY RED BEANS AND RICE WITH HIS FINGERS, YOU GUYS. I mourn to this day.

    Her 'good groceries' are oreos, a Brita pitcher, some almonds, Popeyes chicken, and a kind of salami you can buy for 10 dollars.

  • Irish||

    What is the matter with these people? I kind of assumed that even Jezebel would mock this idiocy, but...

    SnarkychuUSamantha Irby491L
    I haven't finished reading this yet but I just need to post: ROFL!!!!!!!! /dies

    Alex-LTUSamantha Irby231L
    I love you so much right now.

    ljubicaUSamantha Irby31L
    I like this advice but ugh xoJane. Please no more xoJane cross-posts! There's just something about their writing that makes me feel gross and sad about people.

    I have never read XoJane, but if Jezebel is like "That style of writing is intellectually beneath us" I have to wonder what kind of lobotomized morons work for XoJane.

  • playa manhattan||

    Given her picture, I don't believe for a minute that the Oreos were still unopened.

  • Zeb||

    Perhaps they were the backup oreos.

  • playa manhattan||

    That's just good planning.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    That better have been real Calabrese sopressata. Porca putana.

  • playa manhattan||

    I haven't heard that term in reference to foods...

  • B.P.||

    All of the Jezebellians who read this tearfully drove off to Popeyes.

  • Zeb||

    I will not have you speaking ill of Sopressata.

  • GILMORE||

    OMERTA!!.

  • MJGreen||

    Hard to keep calling a guy gross when you admit that you were saving Popeyes for breakfast.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Fewer Americans are looking for work than at any time since the 1970s, as the job growth slows and the official unemployment rate drops to 6.7 percent.

    Why look for work when you can be out of work and receive a paycheck unemployment for almost 2 full years? Add that to various other welfare programs and there's no reason to look for a job.

    I'd say that was true, except that there's no such thing as incentives. Team BLUE told me so.

  • ||

    Swedish court dismisses drunk driving charge against man because he is Asian

    A Swedish court said in dropping drunken driving charges against an Asian man that "different ethnic groups react differently to alcohol intake."
    The 63-year-old man was arrested on drunken driving charges after workers at a Kalskrona gas station reported he appeared intoxicated and police visited his home, where his blood alcohol content was measured at more than eight times the 0.02 legal limit, TheLocal.se reported Friday.

    The man and two witnesses told police the man had been drinking whiskey since arriving home and had consumed only a small glass of beer before driving.

    The court dismissed the charges, saying police could not prove the man had driven under the influence of alcohol. The court also said it should be "considered general knowledge that people from different ethnic groups react differently to alcohol intake."

    Don't Asians turn beet-red?

  • ||

    Don't Asians turn beet-red?

    I know a Korean guy who doesn't get the "Asian glow" (generic name "alcohol flush"), but yes, most seem to.

  • playa manhattan||

    He must have the enzyme. Some do, some don't.

  • Entropy Void||

    LACIST!

  • C. Anacreon||

    Most Asians don't have aldehyde dehydrogenase in their livers. So they can't metabolize alcohol very well.

  • Sudden||

    Please note that when Swedish news reports about an "Asian" man, it almost universally means someone from the broad Middle East.

  • From the Tundra||

    .02? What the fuck is wrong with you, Sweden? Eight times your legal limit is a smooth buzz!

  • Sidd Finch||

    might be a metric thing?

  • Coeus||

    For me it's 5 times to get a small buzz.

  • Sidd Finch||

    It sounds like they dismissed the charge because they couldn't prove he was drunk while driving.

  • Sidd Finch||

    Here'a a map of that beet-red gene.

  • playa manhattan||

    Now THAT was interesting. I'm going to forward that to a few friends...

  • The Late P Brooks||

    (3) launch a major jobs program to rebuild the nation's crumbling infrastructure

    Yes, of course. Let's round up a bunch of mortgage brokers who haven't worked for four years and put them on backhoes. What could possibly go wrong? We can get some bank tellers to drive the cement trucks.

    Robert Reich is truly a National treasure.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Fuck, these idiots are stuck in the Depression. CCC! CCCP!

  • ||

    Canadian highway shutdown after trucks carrying wine crashes

    It’s an accident that may prompt wine lovers to shed a few tears into their cabernet.

    The Trans-Canada Hwy in B.C. was shut down for more than 10 hours after two semi-trucks packed with pulp and thousands of bottles of wine collided and spilled their load.

    Initial investigation results reveal that a 30-year-old man driving a semi-truck loaded with crates of wine lost control around 9 p.m. Wednesday just west of Hope and drove through the centre median.

    The wine-laden truck was then struck by a westbound semi-trailer loaded with pulp. Neither driver was injured.

    "However, both vehicles sustained extensive damage, with one semi's trailer ripped apart by the force of the collision. And of course there was significant damage to the cargo,” said Cpl. Robert McDonald of RCMP Traffic Services.

    It took 10 hours to clean up the broken glass and liquid on the road.
    The driver of the truck carrying wine has been charged with driving without due care and attention. Anyone who witnessed the crash is asked to call police.

    Priceless Canadian wine shed in vain. A moment of silence.

  • trshmnstr||

    Does this mean that all of our sins against Canadians have been forgiven?

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    /lowers head.

  • Jerry on the boat||

    Okanagan wine isn't that bad.

  • ||

    two semi-trucks packed with pulp and thousands of bottles of wine collided and spilled their load.

    Ugh, that writing.

    Also, it says "spilled their load". Hehe.

  • Entropy Void||

    WE NEED A CANUKISTANER CABERNET PIPELINE!

  • ||

    I just noticed that Grimm season 3 is only 14 episodes. WTF?

  • ||

    Ted Cruz criticizes Obama administration for not enforcing immigration and Federal marijuana laws

    Sen. Ted Cruz compared America under President Obama to a corrupt dictatorship in which the chief executive decides which laws to follow and which to ignore. He cited the Obama administration delay of the employer mandate under the Affordable Health Care Act. He said the directive to ease deportation of immigrant parents and not to defend the federal ban on marijuana in states like Colorado and Washington that choose to legalize it were other examples of the president’s “consistent pattern of lawlessness.”

    “If the president of the United States can simply pick and choose which laws to follow… we know what that looks like,” Cruz told small-government conservatives Friday. “There are countries on this globe where that is how the law works. You look at corrupt countries where the rule of law is meaningless, where dictators are in power and they have things they call law. But what does law mean?”

    Cruz told a conference of the Texas Public Policy Foundation he has not given up the fight to repeal the federal health care law.

    The sentiment is correct, but does he want Holder to throw recreational pot uses in jail?

  • Irish||

    He said the directive to ease deportation of immigrant parents and not to defend the federal ban on marijuana in states like Colorado and Washington that choose to legalize it were other examples of the president’s “consistent pattern of lawlessness.”

    Fuck Ted Cruz on this one. The feds shouldn't even have the power to ban anything nationally. That's a power clearly reserved for the states and no amount of "BUT COMMERCE CLAUSE!" will magically grant the federal government a power the constitution does not give it.

    The entire Controlled Substances Act should be unconstitutional, not just the part dealing with pot. There's a reason why they had to make prohibition a constitutional amendment. At the time people still somewhat cared about the powers the constitution gave the government.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Yes, Cruz is not good on some issues. He beats the crap out of many other Republicans, but that just shows how far away we are from any ideal.

  • Coeus||

    He did what he said he was going to do. That's why I like him. He never said he was going to push for marijuana legislation, he said he would do everything in his power to shrink government and stop obamacare. He's been doing that. He was never a believer like the Pauls. He saw that the winds were turning towards politicians
    (at least republicans) being punished for not fulfilling promises and changed accordingly. He's a living product of what people have been saying for years. "Vote 'em out if they don't do what they say. Then it doesn't matter what they believe, as long as you agree with what they say they're gonna do".

  • Rufus J. Fisk||

    of all the retards in class....he is the only one we can at least spell "cat".

  • ||

    This issue and his grandstanding on Obamacare is what really irritates me about him. Obamacare is dysfunctional at its core and is going to self-destruct on its own. He's only hurting himself and the Republicans when he keeps up this Quixotic charade.

  • playa manhattan||

    racist.

  • The Knarf Yenrab||

    He wants to get elected president, and the way to do that is to get a bunch of old socons to give him the GOP nomination.

    After that, expect Cruz to announce that his views are "evolving."

  • Coeus||

    Coates futher defends his labling of MHP as "America's foremost public intellectual"

    Ta-Nehisi Coates's claim that "Melissa Harris-Perry is America's foremost public intellectual" sort of undermines his intellectual cred, no?

    — Dylan Byers (@DylanByers) January 7, 2014

    ....

    Here is the machinery of racism—the privilege of being oblivious to questions, of never having to grapple with the everywhere; the right of false naming; the right to claim that the lakes, trees, and mountains of our world do not exist; the right to insult our intelligence with your ignorance. The machinery of racism requires no bigotry from Dylan Byers. It merely requires that Dylan Byers sit still.

    We suffer for this. So many people charged with informing us, with informing themselves, are just sitting still.

    Saying that MHP is not an intellectual and saying that Coates is is apparently racist. Definitely turning into Krugman.

  • playa manhattan||

    That's not even wrong.

  • Coeus||

    Here's a reply from someone who does think MHP is an intellectual.

    nonymity James Withers • 2 days ago −
    I disagree.

    "Here is the machinery of racism—the privilege of being oblivious to questions, of never having to grapple with the everywhere; the right of false naming; the right to claim that the lakes, trees, and mountains of our world do not exist; the right to insult our intelligence with your ignorance. The machinery of racism requires no bigotry from Dylan Byers. It merely requires that Dylan Byers sit still."

    I think this perspective erases the line between racism and cultural disregard. There's a difference between people who are so socially and intellectually egotistic as to feel that their tribe's triumphs, tribulations, and perspectives are the be-all-end-all of society, culture, politics, whatever, and people who maintain an actively destructive opinion that X race is fundamentally inferior. The United States doesn't exactly excel at celebrating cultural diversity; look no further than the behavior of most American tourists abroad. Curse of the cultural hegemon, and all that. It has nothing to do with neglect of any one particular sub-group.
  • Coeus||

    Lets assume Ta-Nehisi Coates' broader argument is correct, and that Dylan Byers' criticism of Melissa Harris-Perry is motivated more by his inability to relate to black intellectualism than objective disagreement with the woman and her works. That doesn't make Dylan Byers a racist; it just means he lacks credibility beyond a certain threshold of public intellectualism.

    Call him out on it and move on, but please do so in a way that doesn't accuse everyone who is "oblivious to questions" as being passively racist.

    Shit, give that guy a column.

  • Irish||

    All the people Byers listed as public intellectuals would still be considered intellectuals if they were black.

    If Melissa Harris-Perry were white, would Ta-Nehisi Coates think she was a great public intellectual? I don't think so.

    As a result, it's fairly obvious that the person basing his opinion on race is Coates.

  • Coeus||

    That was my estimation as well.

  • playa manhattan||

    I would concede that this guy is a reasonable idiot.

  • Coeus||

    Right? If there were more proggies like that, there might be some kind of productive dialog to be had.

  • Irish||

    The United States doesn't exactly excel at celebrating cultural diversity; look no further than the behavior of most American tourists abroad.

    Bullshit. The U.S. allows for literally dozens of different cultural groups to coexist within the same territory and, last I checked, none of them lynch or murder each other. We also don't tend to have racial minorities burn hundreds of cars every New Years Eve like certain other countries I could name.

    The idea that the U.S. is below average in celebrating diversity is absurd. We're probably the most diverse country on Earth and all of those cultural groups are treated with legal equality and general respect.

  • Killaz||

    Not to mention his stereotyping of American tourist. We are less likely to make cultural demands than almost anyone. They don't call our ex-pat communities Americatowns after all.

  • ||

    Plus complaining about American tourists is passe, it's all about the rude Chinese tourists now.

  • playa manhattan||

    I got a little taste of the bad elevator etiquette on my last vacation. I was pretty tired of it after a week, and just lowered my shoulder when exiting.

  • Redmanfms||

    The United States doesn't exactly excel at celebrating cultural diversity; look no further than the behavior of most American tourists abroad.

    Jesus, what a load of shit.

    I've lived and worked in Europe and seen plenty of American tourists. I've never (yeah, NEVER) seen the kind of boorish "ugly American" behavior that we are frequently accused of having when traveling abroad. The absolute worst tourists (at least in Europe) are fucking Brits. There is nothing quite like watching a limey scream at a waiter in English when the waiter didn't understand him. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen a Brit (male or female) not being a boorish asshole while on "holiday" on the Continent. Brits truly expect to be catered to wherever they go and are quick to resort sneering condescension.

    It made me strongly believe that Brits made the "ugly American" out of whole cloth by projecting their character and cultural failings onto other people.

    Seriously, want a dose of how fucking awful limeys are? Go to Southern Spain. There is nothing quite like meeting dozens of Brit retirees who have lived in Spain for years but don't speak a single fucking word of Spanish. When I worked in Sweden (where nearly everyone speaks English fluently) for a couple months I at least learned how to order a meal/drink and say please/thank you and other such politeness.

  • Coeus||

    This is why the "woman's online harassment" articles are getting such blowback.

    By that second semester of law school, nothing terrified me more than speaking in class – not only because I knew whatever I said would show up on the message board, although that was true, but because the people on the message board were probably right: I was a fat idiot, a dumb cunt who had no business being here. I wore a lot of hoodies to school because they shielded my face. I skipped classes if I suspected I would be called on. I glared at anyone who made eye contact with me. I made no friends.

    Bolding is mine. The unhinged rape and death threats often come from the mentally ill. What the writers of these articles want is to have negative opinions or annoying comments of then censored as well. That's what all this is really about. And if you read all the way down to the bottom of these articles, they always come back to it.

  • Rufus J. Fisk||

    So who is going to drink with me and post randomly here tonight?

  • GILMORE||

    I am with you in booze. However, the television is not near the computer.

    (realizes rarely used laptop is wireless.)

    Ah. Then yes. I want to see Myerson torn apart by wolves. And kennedy.

  • GILMORE||

    Oh, but this only counts for the other thread. oops

  • Tonio||

    Yo.

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