A.M. Links: MTV Censors Miley Cyrus Smoking Apparent Joint, Pakistan Bans Yousafzai’s Book From Private Schools, Kerry Says US and Allies Agreed on Iran Nuke Deal

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  • Officials in Pakistan have banned the book written by Malala Yousafzai from private schools, saying that the 16-year-old girls education advocate, who was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman last year, is a tool of the West.
  • Secretary of State John Kerry said that the U.S. and its allies had agreed on a proposal relating to Iran’s nuclear program, but Iranian officials were unable to accept the deal.
  • U.S. Marines have arrived in the Philippines in the wake of Typhoon Haiyan.
  • MTV censored Miley Cyrus smoking an apparent joint at the EMAs last night.
  • Miami Herald reporter Jim Wyss, who was detained by Venezuelan authorities on Thursday, has been released.
  • Two have been killed and 68 injured in clashes involving migrant workers in the Saudi city of Riyadh following the beginning of a nationwide crackdown on illegal workers.

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  • Snark Plissken||

    Officials in Pakistan have banned the book written by Malala Yousafzai from private schools, saying that the 16-year-old girls education advocate, who was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman last year, is a tool of the West.

    No true jihadsman.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    I eagerly await the Jezzie take on this...oh, wait, no I don't!

  • Snark Plissken||

    They'll get to her just as soon as they sort out this giant rape culture problem that middle class white American women are horribly subjected to.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    MTV censored Miley Cyrus smoking an apparent joint at the EMAs last night.

    Gotta hand it to her, she knows how to self promote.

  • Brett L||

    Is there anyone left in the "Fuck you, Dad!" segment who isn't already giving her money?

  • SugarFree||

    She has to position herself for the next stage of her career: being a hot mess for twinks to obsess over.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Those dads and their poor, achy-breaky hearts.

  • Brett L||

    No, she's selling to the demographic. Her daddy couldn't be prouder of her. Hell, he probably came up with the plan.

  • Not an Economist||

    I expect her sex tape to be "stolen" any day now.

  • Lord Humungus||

    ABBA mulls possible reunion: report

    The legendary Swedish pop group ABBA is mulling a possible reunion next year, singer Agnetha Faltskog said in a German newspaper interview Sunday.

    Next year marks the 40th anniversary of the band's first hit "Waterloo", which won them the Eurovision song contest and catapulted them to fame.
  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    *nervously opens Revelations and begins reading*

  • Snark Plissken||

    Und I sev unuzeer meeghty ungel cume-a doon frum heefee, cluzeed veet a cluood: und a reeenboo ves upun hees heed, und hees fece-a ves es it vere-a zee soon, und hees feet es peellers ooff fure-a.

  • Brett L||

    You know who else won by Waterloo?

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Richard Sharpe?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Sgt. Harper likes this.

  • Ice Nine||

    Dan Gable?

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    +1 pin

  • Marshall Gill||

    Bill and Ted?

  • TANSTaaFL||

    Colonel Kurtz

  • SIV||

    Do you know who else won Eurovision?

  • Ted S.||

  • Ted S.||

    Fucking memory hogging H&R cuased me to hit "Submit" twice.

    Anyhow, you know who didn't win Eurovision?

  • Ted S.||

  • Lord Humungus||

  • ||

    +1 red carrier bag, floating on the wind.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    Celine Dion

  • KMA Too||

  • Ted S.||

    Another famous song to come from Eurovision (although this isn't the famous version).

  • SIV||

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

  • waffles||

    Will it turn me gay?

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Turn you gay. I won't sugarcoat this, I'd be let down like a Browns fan if it didn't.

  • Gbob||

    It will only let you down...like some kind of football team.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    HuffPo does something useful for once, lists charities readers can contribute to for Philippine relief:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....3&ir=Green

  • ||

    And they even restrained themselves from linking to their own GW caused the Tragedy piece of stupidity. Impressive.

  • KPres||

    Check out this comment...

    "I think the republicans are covering up all the hurricanes hitting the eastern coast this season. Certainly we have been having severe ones due to global warming and yet the press is not reporting them."

    I did not make that up.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    PEAK DERP! YOU FOUND IT!

  • Lord Humungus||

    We no longer remember World War One, yet we still mourn the loss

    The generation that mourned its sons passed; then that which mourned its comrades; then that which mourned its fathers, clinging, perhaps, to fragmentary childhood picture-memories. Then the fallen became faces in yellowing photographs. Now they are names on family trees. Soon, they will be only history. Yet we will remember them.
  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    If the sheer pointlessness of WWI doesn't turn you against govt in all forms, nothing will.

  • Gbob||

    It didn't, though. It just led to thinking that they needed top men with more power to keep it from happening again.

  • Brett L||

    Smarter Generals! Seriously, though, I know the ability to mass the most men and push the hardest was the essence of European warfare from the hoplites through the infantry square, but surely it didn't take them 4 years of killing each other on fixed lines to come up with a better idea.

  • Drake||

    Well, they certainly came up with better ideas on warfare.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    You know who else came up with better ideas on warfare?

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    Gerard Butler?

  • cavalier973||

    Tywin Lannister?

  • Locke||

    Robert Oppenheimer?

  • Brett L||

    Yeah, that didn't come out right. I meant, I guess, that it sure did take them a long time to adjust to the new imperatives of technology, where getting your men into a pack that could push and hack and bring more strength, mass and hand weapons to bear no longer worked effectively.

  • Drake||

    By the end of WWI, the new ideas were being implemented. Pershing insisted on maneuvering his troops rather than letting them re-enforcing static French positions - with a lot of success.

    The Brits and Germans were using tanks, and concentrated assaults (storm-troopers).

    As soon as the war was over, "fire and maneuver" become infantry doctrine and mechanized / fast moving tactics became all the rage. Nobody wanted a repeat of trench warfare.

  • Agammamon||

    "It didn't, though. It just led to thinking that they needed top men with more power to keep it from happening again."

    Don't you know that the EU is the only thing preventing a repeat of the horrors of WW2?

  • Drake||

    Preventing or brewing?

  • TANSTaaFL||

    "If it doesnt prevent it, it is only because they didn;t make it large enough to begin with!"

    -Kruggernuts

  • Agammamon||

    Hah! I see it as a situation with analogies to the SU occupation of Yugoslavia. They'll rile up racial/national/religious tensions while keeping a lid on their expression until one day the EU dissolves and the whole continent tries to destroy itself in an orgy of genocide.

    Then we'll have to spend the next two generations listening to people point out how necessary the EU was.

  • BardMetal||

    "Don't you know that the EU is the only thing preventing a repeat of the horrors of WW2?"

    Wow I actually know someone that honestly believes this.

  • JEP||

    Kosovo and Israel/Palestine *should have* taught everyone that you can't form a committee to arbitrarily redraw socio-political boundaries and expect everyone to play nice.

    Territories need to emerge organically for them to be stable and last in any kind of peaceful environment. Though, "organically" may imply a bit of bloodshed.

  • Agammamon||

    The choice is usually a bit of constant but low-level violence or clamp down until the pressure gets too great and watch your 'nation' destroy itself.

  • ||

    Miami Herald reporter Jim Wyss, who was detained by Venezuelan authorities on Thursday, has been released.

    Say, did Biden ever let that one reporter out of the closet?

  • Bee Tagger||

    Even President David Palmer had a reporter locked in a room for a while.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Venezuelan military seizes major retail chain
    CARACAS — Thousands of Venezuelans lined up outside the country's equivalent of Best Buy, a chain of electronics stores known as Daka, hoping for a bargain after the socialist government forced the company to charge customers "fair" prices.

    President Nicolás Maduro ordered a military "occupation" of the company's five stores as he continues the government's crackdown on an "economic war" it says is being waged against the country, with the help of Washington.

    Members of Venezuela's National Guard, some of whom carried assault rifles, kept order at the stores as bargain hunters rushed to get inside.

    "I want a Sony plasma television for the house," said Amanda Lisboa, 34, a business administrator, who had waited seven hours already outside one Caracas store. "It's going to be so cheap!"...

  • Spoonman.||

    It seems like getting taken over by a moron means that Venezuela's rush towards collapse has accelerated.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Taken over? He's doing what they elected him to do.

  • SugarFree||

    TRUST DEMOCRACY!

    /joe from lowell

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    But I like watchin' strippers...even if they are my cousins.

    /Lowell from Wings

  • JW||

    Just for that, I'm going to kick the first midget that I see.

  • Zeb||

    What could possibly go wrong?

  • CatoTheElder||

    I know its a difficult concept for a bus driver turned caudillo, but Mr. Maduro will run out of inventory.

    I seriously doubt he's thought that far in advance. Or, if he has, he thinks he can have the military start up a domestic plasma tv manufacturing operation.

  • Doctor Whom||

    But you never ever ever run out of other people's money inventory, ever, at least when the pure of heart run things.

  • Agammamon||

    Well, the US has shown that the military can be made into *wonderful* nation-builders with no real effort - if we can do that, making TV's should be a snap!

  • db||

    Fucking looters.

  • db||

    US Military seizes major industry
    WASHINGTON — Thousands of Americans lined up outside the country's equivalent of NHS, a chain of hospitals known as UPMC, hoping for a bargain after the socialist government forced insurers to charge customers "fair" prices.

    President Barack Obama ordered a military "occupation" of the company's hospitals as he continues the government's crackdown on an "economic war" it says is being waged against the country, with the help of Republican fifth columnists.

    Members of Pennsylvania's National Guard, some of whom carried assault rifles, kept order at the offices as freeloaders rushed to get inside.

    "I want a gastric bypass for the holidays," said Amanda Lisboa, 34, a business administrator, who had waited seven hours already outside one Pittsburgh store. "It's going to be so cheap!"...

  • Rhywun||

    Tomorrow's news today!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...saying that the 16-year-old girls education advocate, who was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman last year, is a tool of the West.

    The "east" is very happy standing still in the Middle Ages, thank you very much young lady.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Police: Banging and screaming came from Ikea and infant

    Police in Sweden called to a home on a report of banging and screaming said they discovered a family assembling IKEA furniture.

    Investigators said they were called to the home in Stromstad, near the Norwegian border, after receiving a report of banging and screaming around 1 a.m. Friday and discovered the noise came from a couple attempting to assemble IKEA furniture and their infant, who was awakened by the noise, The Local.se reported Friday.
  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    So, just like here in the US - but with less profanity!

  • Ted S.||

    It would have been more interesting if they had been having kinky sex. With or without the unassembled Ikea furniture.

  • Brett L||

    I understand the frustration of just putting the baby down and letting him try random things. But when he picks up the hammer, you have to take it away.

  • Marshall Gill||

    But when he picks up the hammer, you have to take it away.

    And stifle his creativity?! How do you know he wasn't meant to be a carpenter. You know who else was a carpenter?

  • Brett L||

    Listen, if can turn my water to fine wine, he can play with chainsaw. Until then, 'e's not a messiah, 'e's a very naughty boy when he picks up a tool that's not age appropriate.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    John Chapin?

  • mr lizard||

    16-year-old girls education advocate, who was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman last year, is a tool of the West.

    You know who else was a tool?

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Maynard James Keenan

  • ||

    + Jambi

  • Jordan||

    Porn Stars Would Have To Wear Goggles Under New Draft Of California Bill

    California continues to strive for Peak Retard.

  • mr lizard||

    If we get full gambling in Florida, and all the Porn Stars there will be no stopping us. We shall dominate absurd news stories FOREVER.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    California is about to discover how mobile cameras and pron starz are, when they leave the state... I suspect Los Vegas will inherit the industry.

  • Doctor Whom||

    But ... but ... businesses never move to a different state because of the regulatory climate. Progressives, Marylanders, and especially Maryland progressives tell me so constantly.

  • Locke||

    Phoenix, AZ will inherit the industry.

  • ||

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Wait, you guys don't wear goggles and gloves when you have sex?

  • Rasilio||

    If it weren't for beer googles half the guys here would never get laid in the first place

  • Ted S.||

    Doesn't Rule 34 imply that there's a market for goggle porn?

  • Brett L||

    Always has been. But what about those of us who want goggle-free porn?

  • Ted S.||

    Make your own.

  • Lord Humungus||

    The gogglez, they do nuthink!

  • ||

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Those goddamn SoCons

    / Bo Cara

  • Neoliberal Kochtopus||

    Where has Blue Tulpa been lately?

  • WTF||

    Might be okay if beer goggles count.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    What about Arabian goggles?

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    I think that's a misreading of the statute. The law requires that you wear protective equipment that prevents your "eye, skin, mucous membranes, or genitals" from being exposed to jizz. In other words, the only way for them to film porn is for the performers to wear HAZMAT suits.

  • Zeb||

    Or, to be inappropriately serious here, they want them to use condoms all the time, not just for intercourse. No more cumshots (which is fine with me. Why the fuck does anyone want to see that.)

  • Neoliberal Kochtopus||

    Because it's hot to watch other people orgasm, Zeb. you're a weirdo.

  • Zeb||

    Well, whatever floats your boat. And obviously I don't think there is a law about it. I just find it a bit odd and not terribly sexy that just about every porn video ends with a dude jerking off over the girls face. Maybe it's just me.

  • Zeb||

    Should be a law...

  • Lord Humungus||

    Are you trying to anger the Japanese Bukkake contingent?

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    No more cumshots (which is fine with me. Why the fuck does anyone want to see that.)

    I will support any politician who stands behind the Peter North Protection Act.

  • Enough About Palin||

    That's hot to someone.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Here is the email I read on the air tonight
    "Putting things in perspective: March 21st 2010 to October 1 2013 is 3 years, 6 months, 10 days. December 7, 1941 to May 8, 1945 is 3 years, 5 months, 1 day. What this means is that in the time we were attacked at Pearl Harbor to the day Germany surrendered is not enough time for this progressive federal government to build a working webpage. Mobilization of millions, building tens of thousands of tanks, planes, jeeps, subs, cruisers, destroyers, torpedoes, millions upon millions of guns, bombs, ammo, etc. Turning the tide in North Africa, Invading Italy, D-Day, Battle of the Bulge, Race to Berlin - all while we were also fighting the Japanese in the Pacific!! And in that amount of time - this administration can't build a working webpage."

  • Pro Libertate||

    To be fair, neither could FDR's administration.

  • Bee Tagger||

    Secretary of State John Kerry said that the U.S. and its allies had agreed on a proposal relating to Iran’s nuclear program, but Iranian officials were unable to accept the deal.

    They had fallen into an un-wakeable slumber during Kerry's presentation.

  • Lord Humungus||

    White House relying more on insurance carriers to help fix HealthCare.gov

    The White House is increasing its reliance on insurers by accepting their technical help in efforts to repair the problem-ridden online health insurance marketplace and prioritizing consumers’ ability to buy plans directly from the carriers.

    The Obama administration’s broader cooperation with insurers is a tacit acknowledgment that the federal insurance exchange — fraught with software and hardware flaws that have frustrated many Americans trying to buy coverage — might not be working smoothly by the target date of Nov. 30, according to several health experts familiar with the administration’s thinking.
  • VG Zaytsev||

    It's almost like they're in it together.

  • Enough About Palin||

    On Morning Joe, they were talking about the possibility of Elizabeth Warren becoming the 2016 Democratic nominee for president. That's just what we need. A freshman senator from Harvard who spent their entire life in academia and has a demonstrated propensity for lying.

  • Spoonman.||

    Fauxcahontas. There's no way.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Bet you said that about the Blue State Senator who said he was still looking for the bathroom in the Senate...

  • Spoonman.||

    Obama was a better candidate than Warren in every imaginable way. She isn't charismatic, she's incendiary rather than vaguely inspiring, she's on record claiming to be an Indian...

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Don't underestimate a TEAM's derpability...

    Look at both TEAM's "best and brightest" the last oh, 70 years.

  • Agammamon||

    Meh, Obama's on record claiming to be a Kenyan (way back when it was advantageous to do so - he dropped that lie when it became inconvenient).

    I think we've had enough of empty headed charismatics and he's not even vaguely inspiring.

    I guess what you say is sort of true - Obama was certainly a better *candidate* than Warren will be. He (and she) are certainly piss-poor *presidents*.

  • Neoliberal Kochtopus||

    Elizabeth Warren is a textbook Ayn Rand villain, which means she's guaranteed to be the next President of the United States.

  • PapayaSF||

    Plus the fact that her doctoral thesis was nearly rejected as academic fraud, and the hilarious "Native American" recipe plagiarism: her traditional Cherokee dish with crab and mayonnaise.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    But she'll be the first Native American historic president! It will be historic!

  • Certified Public Asskicker||

    Does voting for her mean we can all go back to calling the ***skins the Redskins?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Did we ever stop?

  • R C Dean||

    With Elizabeth Warren, we will transition (weirdly) from the fourth Bush term to the third Obama term.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Two have been killed and 68 injured in clashes involving migrant workers in the Saudi city of Riyadh following the beginning of a nationwide crackdown on illegal workers.

    The Dates of Wrath.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    *standing ovation*

    WIN!

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Maybe Pain Will Teach You Millenials Not To Vote For Your Own Serfdom
    You Millenials voted for Obama by a margin of 28 percent, which will make it a lot easier for me to accept the benefits you will be paying for. We warned you that liberalism was a scam designed to take the fruits of your labor and transfer it to us, the older, established generation. Oh, and also to the couch-dwelling, Democrat-voting losers who live off of food stamps and order junk from QVC with their Obamaphones.

    You didn’t listen to us. Maybe you’ll listen to pain.

    I have been told that being hard on you Millennials will turn you against conservatism, that I should offer you a positive, hopeful message that avoids the touchy problem of your manifest stupidity.

    No. There’s no sugar-coating it – your votes for Democrats have ensured that you are the first generation in American history that will fail to exceed what their parents attained. Embracing liberalism was a stupid thing to do, done for the stupidest of reasons, and I will now let you subsidize my affluent lifestyle without a shred of guilt. ...

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Yeah, that's right! Act like a collectivist!

  • Ted S.||

    Yeah, but they fucked the rest of us over at the same time.

  • waffles||

    But what of the young people who didn't vote for the chosen one? You old crusty conservative types are too quick with this collective guilt thing. More than once I have been told that because I am young I voted for Obama and I better like what I'm getting because I voted for it.

    But I didn't vote for it. Fuck. Maybe Epi's right and voting for anyone is just a declaration of acceptance. I didn't vote for Obama, but the author of this piece is just begging for a death panel.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    But what of the young people who didn't vote for the chosen one?

    We don't exist.

  • Numeromancer||

  • ||

    But what of the young people who didn't vote for the chosen one?

    You are to blame for not getting more of your generation to wake the fuck up. Hurry up and convert them already. Use Twitter or Vine or something like all you young types do, that seems to work. And quit fucking up classic cocktails; I don't want a goddamn pomegranate martini.

    I'll include a longer list of demands later.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    And quit fucking up classic cocktails

    What if we only drink straight liquor?

  • Agammamon||

    It won't count - you'll only be doing it "ironically".

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    I've never done it ironically.

  • ||

    Then I've got the most ironic hangover right now.

  • Ted S.||

    That's homophobic.

  • ||

    What if we only drink straight liquor?

    Then you have No Respect for Tradition. A little soda, water, or vermouth allows one to claim that one is having a mixed drink and is not just a sozzled old coot.

  • Zeb||

    Depends on what you drink. Straight cheap gin and you are definitely a sozzled old coot. Drink single malt scotch, single barrel bourbon or some nice brandy and you're a sophisticated drinker.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    I alternate between drinking straight Beefeaters and drinking straight scotch (usually Lagavulin or Ardbeg). I guess I'm a sophisticated sozzled old drinker, and I'm not even out of my 20s.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    "Lagavulin or Ardbeg"

    Good choices.

  • R C Dean||

    Three words for the Islay drinker:

    Laphroaig Quarter Cask.

  • Zeb||

    I think you have to blame gen-x for "martini" becoming any cocktail served in a martini glass.

  • SugarFree||

    Happened way before Gen-X. After vodka "martinis" were acceptable, it was all downhill after that.

  • ||

    This is Truth.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Slippery slope!

  • Neoliberal Kochtopus||

    I get no-kidding surly when I order a martini and someone asks me "gin or vodka"? IF I WANTED SOMETHING OTHER THAN A MARTINI I WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR IT, FUCKO.

    Even worse is when I get asked, "What kind of vodka?" ARGGH HULK SMASH

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Look at you guys, thinking you are better than James Bond.

  • JW||

    No, just better than Albert Fucking Broccoli and his Smirnoff plug money.

  • SugarFree||

    It's the same on the other extreme. If you don't want any vermouth, you aren't asking for a martini. Order shaken gin with an olive, you weirdo.

    Original recipes often call for 2:1 gin/vermouth.

  • ||

    This pisses me off tremendously (although I am a 4:1 guy and prefer lemon to olive). I have to explicitly say "with the vermouth, please" now. I blame Obama.

  • robc||

    My once every two year martini is ordered wet and dirty.

  • JW||

    wet and dirty

    You're a monster.

  • JW||

    I vow to strangle the next waiter who asks me "vodka or gin?"

  • cavalier973||

  • robc||

    Vine

    victim notification?

  • TANSTaaFL||

    HA! I never voter for O, but even if I did, you think it started with him? Fuck that! It started with you old geezers who voted for Guns and Butter, endless war, congress raiding the SS trust, medicare, medicade, Part D, the war on poverty, the war on drugs...need I go on?

    I have little sympathy for snot-nosed post grads that think being on food stamps is OK while waiting for a real job that requires a philosophy degree, but old folks who got us 90% of the way down the road, and will suck up most of my SS contributions (when I'll get nothing) DO NOT GET TO SELF-RIGHTEOUSLY POINT AT MY GENERATION AND AVOID BLAME!!!!

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    I voted for Johnson. Where's the anarchy I asked for?

  • Juice||

    What were they going to do? Vote for Republicans?

  • Spoonman.||

    This guy doesn't seem to care that what the government is doing is morally wrong, and that even people who were tricked by the parties' promises should not be wronged.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Yep, the number one lesson that their parents failed to teach them or that the socialist indoctrination erased is that life is unfair.

    Obama ass fucking them, is a teachable moment... the real question is whether they'll learn from it or go back for more.

  • Lord Peter Wimsey||

    I like the piece. I know, this doesn't apply to all Millenials, but for the ones who did vote for Obama I have zero sympathy. You were fooled? Fuck you. Be smarter next time. You voted (and cheered and master-bated) to have the govt take people's money and shrink their liberty, and you called anyone who disagreed callous or fascist.

    Enjoy your Soilent Green. It's $59.99 for a one ounce vial. Pig.

  • Locke||

    You know who else baited masters?

  • JW||

    I'm OK with this. I'm on record vowing to drain the fucking system dry with needless medical procedures.

    You want socialized medicine? Boy howdy, are you ever going to fucking get it when I retire.

  • Snark Plissken||

    Miami Herald reporter Jim Wyss, who was detained by Venezuelan authorities on Thursday, has been released.

    But you can blame them for confusing the Miami Herald with toilet paper.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    *thinks about it for a moment, then begins polite applause*

  • Lord Humungus||

    NYC Food Bank Head: 40% Of Veterans Need Food Assistance

    “On this Veterans Day, when we’re waving our flags — I need every New Yorker to know — 40 percent of New York City veterans are relying on soup kitchens and pantries,” Purvis said.

    That amounts to 95,000 people.

    “That is not a guesstimate; that is a fact,” she said.

    Purvis added that matters will only get worse now that $5 billion has been cut to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP.
  • Drake||

    I'm a Veteran and I have soup for lunch sometimes. I assume it was made in a kitchen, so she may be right.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    By God, now that you mention it, I had soup last night! Not only did I make it in the kitchen, I got the ingredients from the pantry!!

  • Ted S.||

    I'm not a veteran, but I've got a pantry.

    Come to think about it, my father "served" courtesy of the fucking peacetime draft, and he's got a pantry too.

  • Agammamon||

    What's her definition of 'veteran'?

    Either all the down-on-their-luck former military headed to NYC (and that might explain why they're having difficulties - anyone *smart* would have headed for a better climate) and make up a large percentage of NYC's homeless or, more likely, she's pulling numbers out of her arse.

  • PapayaSF||

    I think what she means is "40% of the homeless claim to be veterans."

  • ||

    Yup. DD-214 or GTFO.

  • Agammamon||

    Dude, you're like, 45 - you weren't in 'Nam.

  • Rhywun||

    “That is not a guesstimate; that is a fact,” she said.

    If you have to deny that it's horseshit - then it's horseshit.

  • Derpetologist||

    Random beach-goers help dolphins return to the sea:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPY9MIftqJs

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Did the dolphins later rape them as thanks?

  • Derpetologist||

    Dunno. I wonder if these beachings are the dolphin version of Heaven's Gate.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    You know who else wanted to drive a certain group of mammals into the sea?

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    The PLO's feline wing?

    "drive the Jew dogs into the sea!"

  • Derpetologist||

    George Costanza?

    "Easy there, fella!"

  • ||

    Why are the Links so Hitler-y this morning? Did I miss a memo?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    You know who else failed to see the writing on the wall?

  • Snark Plissken||

    Ayrton Senna?

  • Neoliberal Kochtopus||

    Nebuchadnezzar?

    Paul Simon?

  • cavalier973||

    Ray Charles?

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Am I a bad person for laughing at this? I sure hope not.

  • cavalier973||

    No, I'm just a bad person for telling a racist joke.

    Which reminds me of one of the better jokes in the Red Letter Media review of the Star Wars Prequels.

    "It's so obvious that even Ray Charles could see it; and he doesn't even know anything about Star Wars."

  • R C Dean||

    Blind isn't a race, cav, so you're still good.

  • cavalier973||

    If you mention someone of color in any sort of humorous anecdote, it falls into the "racist" category.

  • Slammer||

    Great. They probably pushed them all back in the water where they were being chased by a Shark Army. Now they're eaten. Nice.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    It was an exclusive beach.

  • Agammamon||

    Did they get ticketed?

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    C.I.A. Is Said to Pay AT&T for Call Data
    WASHINGTON — The C.I.A. is paying AT&T more than $10 million a year to assist with overseas counterterrorism investigations by exploiting the company’s vast database of phone records, which includes Americans’ international calls, according to government officials.

    The cooperation is conducted under a voluntary contract, not under subpoenas or court orders compelling the company to participate, according to the officials....

  • R C Dean||

    which includes Americans’ international calls, according to government officials.

    It also includes American's domestic calls, I'm sure. Wonder why they didn't mention that?

  • Brett L||

    South GA town demonstrates anarchist principles, forms spontaneous posse to track and hold armed robbery suspect.

  • SIV||

    Too bad they didn't follow through with flogging, branding or lynching.

  • R C Dean||

    You say anarchist, I say militia.

    Let's just cut straight to the tar and feathers, waddayasay?

  • Brett L||

    Tomato, tomahto.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Middle school coach takes team to Hooters despite controversy

    PORTLAND, Ore. – A Corbett Middle School volunteer football coach on Saturday took his team to Hooters to celebrate the end of their season despite objections from the school and some parents.

    Randall Burbach said the party was “worth losing my coaching job over.”
  • mr lizard||

    Wow that's some graduate level trolling. I can hear the pear clutching from 3000 miles away.

  • Brett L||

    I salute this man in sticking to his horrible taste to let these young adolescents go to Hooters one last time before they are old enough to be disappointed by the mediocre talent and lower quality wings.

  • Ted S.||

  • Lord Humungus||

    Woman hurt typing fake profiles of sexy women for dating site, $20M suit alleges

    A dating website for married people who want to cheat on their spouses is being sued by a former employee who says she damaged her wrists typing up hundreds of fake profiles of sexy women.

    Doriana Silva is seeking $20 million from Ashley Madison for what she calls the company's "unjust enrichment" at her expense, plus another $1 million in punitive and general damages.
  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Grandpa was a cowboy, so when he got to the front in WWI, he managed the horses who pulled the munitions wagons. I'm not saying the musical *War Horse* was inspired by him, but I bet it *could* have been.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    An English cowboy?

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    100% American

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    I knew my joke wouldn't work.

  • Ted S.||

    When do your jokes ever work? :-p

  • Cdr Lytton||

    In the original Gnome?

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    +1 franc

  • Lord Humungus||

    The ObamaCare Dozen
    The Democrats who voted for the debacle are now scrambling for cover.

    Mr. Obama held their hands and told them not to worry. But that's also what he, Bill Clinton and other horse whisperers said in 2010. The "moderates" who made the Nancy Pelosi majority went on to be wiped out in the largest turnover of House seats since 1938.

    Mr. Obama then comforted the party regulars that all would be well once the exchanges launched. That day arrived, sort of, since the website doesn't work. He's now urging Democrats to keep calm because the public will love it once the subsidies start to roll out. Yet insurance is being cancelled, premiums are surging and patients like Edie Sundby can't keep their doctors.
  • Lord Humungus||

    Obama The Loner
    He’s a community organizer who works alone. What was once his greatest strength—he kept his cool and didn’t need feedback—is now a liability.

    When Barack Obama arrived in Washington almost five years ago, the universal assumption was that the young president—who had, after all, won office by exploiting every connective tool of the national social and electoral network—would run his White House in sharp contrast to the bunkered, hunkered-down George W. Bush.

    Like so much conventional wisdom, that impression has proved dead wrong. In fact, Obama’s resolute solitude—his isolation and alienation from the other players and power centers of Washington, be they rivals or friends—has emerged as the defining trait of his time in office. He may be the biggest presidential paradox since Thomas Jefferson, the slaveholder who wrote the Declaration of Independence: a community organizer who works alone.
  • The Late P Brooks||

    Teaching helplessness, one attempted break-in at a time.

    In a disciplinary board hearing on Friday, the board, made up of three faculty members and two students, found Fagan and McIntosh guilty of two infractions -- possessing weapons on school grounds and putting others in danger by the use of weapons, according to Chuang.

    Chuang told CNN the students expect to hear later this week what disciplinary action will be taken by the board. Fagan and McIntosh both face suspension or expulsion. Both are seniors and have exemplary records, Chuang said.

    Meantime, Fagan and McIntosh have asked university security to return their firearms, but that hasn't yet happened.

    Remember, when an aggressive panhandler comes to your door in the middle of the night, just give him anything he wants.

    Self-defense will not be tolerated.

  • R C Dean||

    Meantime, Fagan and McIntosh have asked university security to return their firearms, but that hasn't yet happened.

    I'd be curious to see the legal justification for seizing firearms with no crime alleged.

  • Derpetologist||

    Functional steampunk gattling gun:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuS3G7YKrj4

  • Agammamon||

    *Real* steampunk gatling gun.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtrX9vKPqtg

  • SIV||

    See you in Atheist church.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Ha! Talk about a total waste of your Sunday.

  • Warty||

    Still with this stupid shit? Shut the fuck up, moron.

  • SugarFree||

    No, you shut up! If there isn't a God, SIV and his buddy PaulW will just run around stabbing everyone because they don't have any morals! They will kill all the pregnant fetuses!

  • ||

    pregnant fetuses

    BABIES HAVING BABIES!

  • SIV||

    Awwwwww, somebody's all butthurt.

  • Apple||

    I'd rather lie and hang out with Catholics.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Your loss. While they have nicer churches and art, we have better potlucks. Hot dish, FTW!

    /Methodists

  • Apple||

    Hell, I might as well make the rounds. That roast smells delicious.

  • alittlesense||

    Lutherans have the best hot dishes...(wink-wink, nudge-nudge) You know..all those Scadinavian blonde types.....

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    I cannot deny this, having grown up in a town full of Swede Lutherans!

  • SugarFree||

    Woo! Culture War! Abortions! Abortions! Abortions! Abortions! Cocktail partiez!

  • SIV||

    You'd think adherents of the official progressive state religion could just worship at the DMV.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Ha, I know you are trolling - a fetus is a lousy cocktail party guest!!!

  • SugarFree||

    a fetus is a lousy cocktail party guest

    You lie, why else do they fit in the glass so well?

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Shaken, not stirred?

  • Kid Xenocles||

    Everyone knows not to shake a baby.

  • Zeb||

    That is just silly. If you want to go to church but not believe in a god, just become a Unitarian. They don't seem to care if you believe in anything in particular.

  • Doctor Whom||

    They may not care about your theological views, but at least in my experience, they can be rigidly dogmatic on secular politics.

  • alittlesense||

    Just because all their prayers start with "To whom it may concern..."

  • Zeb||

    That's true. I am assuming that that is probably true of the atheist gatherings as well. Which may be unfair, but I feel it is a pretty safe bet.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Race to Bottom Resumes as Central Bankers Ease Anew: Currencies

    “It’s a very real concern of these countries to keep their currencies weak,” Axel Merk, who oversees about $450 million of foreign exchange as the head of Palo Alto, California-based Merk Investments LLC, said in a Nov. 8 telephone interview. ECB President Mario Draghi, “persistently since earlier this year, has been trying to talk down the euro,” Merk said.

    With the outlook for the global economy being downgraded by the International Monetary Fund and inflation slowing to levels that may hinder investment, countries and central banks are revisiting policies that tend to boost competitiveness through weaker currencies.
  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Ha! Our printing presses run faster, we win!

    /Fed

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    "Judge dismisses lawsuit against N.J. gay-to-straight conversion therapy ban...

    ""Having found that the statute only regulates conduct, and not speech in any constitutionally protected form, Plaintiffs’ arguments regarding the statute" being overly broad "are largely irrelevant," according to [U.S. District Court Judge Freda Wolfson's] decision.

    "Nothing in the law "prevents licensed professionals from voicing their opinions on the appropriateness or efficacy of Sexual Orientation Change Efforts, either in public or private settings," according to Wolfson's opinion."

    http://www.nj.com/politics/ind.....y_ban.html

  • John||

    At what point does it become therapy and not just telling someone what you think they should do? If you charge them?

  • Ted S.||

    Somebody ought to troll the evangelicals by opening up a straight-to-gay conversion therapy business.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    They could call it "Glee."

  • ||

    They already have one, it's called Hollywood.

    /socon

  • Zeb||

    I thought it was the Golden Girls.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    Dr. Gaga's Straight-To-Gay Conversion Therapy Center

  • ||

    Damn it Ted, you keep ruining The Gay Agenda's best surprises.

  • Derpetologist||

    Need a gift for that special someone? Give them a uranium yellow cake paper weight!

    http://www.radioactivethings.c.....lass-.html

  • Spoonman.||

    My advisor's office was the most radioactive place in the Earth Science building at Rice. He had a bunch of different kinds of uranium ore in his filing cabinets full of rocks.

  • Brett L||

    So, no ticks on the Geiger unless he had all those cabinets open?

  • Spoonman.||

    He also had plenty on his desk.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    "I study nuclear science, I love my classes, I have a crazy teacher who wears dark glasses..."

  • ||

    Wait, I'm not the only Owl here?

  • ||

    Caution: do not chew on this pen.

    HA!

  • Ted S.||

    Nah, this is the gift for that special someone.

    (That was an actual PSA. I saw it a couple of years back during an episode of The Amazing Race and nearly fell out of my chair laughing.)

  • JW||

    What would only make it better, is to have the idiots that fell for that, is to record and post the execution of their "gift" and the recipient's reaction.

  • Lord Humungus||

    The Secret Obama
    In the 2012 campaign, the president hid his progressive agenda. But he wasn’t happy about it.

    Climate change. “We’re never gonna outdrill the other guys,” he said. “We gotta take some risks on this issue.”

    Immigration reform. His Latino allies were right that he had been too timid.

    Poverty. He needed to do more.

    Peace between “Israel and Palestine.” He had let politics get in the way of working toward a settlement.

    Closing Gitmo. Again, he hadn’t tried hard enough. “No one is gonna persuade me that we should run a penal colony in perpetuity in America,” he said.

    Gay marriage. He didn’t want to keep dissembling about his real position.

    “Taken in sum, Obama’s list was a revealing document,” Halperin and Heilemann write. “He believed that over the past three years his progressive impulses had too often been trumped by the demands of pragmatism. That he had trimmed his sails in just the way his critics on the left had charged.”
  • Eduard van Haalen||

    But the voters had to elect him to find out what his mandate was!

  • Juice||

    Poverty. He needed to do more.

    This means something.

  • wareagle||

    means there are still too many rich people for his taste.

  • R C Dean||

    Maybe. More likely, too many of the wrong people are rich for his taste. Progs got no beef with rich progs, after all.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Earlier I thought today was a good day, because there is no traffic at all on these semi-holidays. I did not have to slow down anywhere, which was great. But then I find an AM Links with no alt-text.

  • Spoonman.||

    Who the fuck has today off? Bureaucrats? Does that mean I have to put my trash out on Thursday instead of Wednesday this week?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I'm not sure, though it's a lot people as evidenced by the roads. My sister does, but considering she works at the VA...

  • Auric Demonocles||

    And yeah, I think trash pickup is probably pushed back this week...

    Which still doesn't make sense to me, since they end up running an extra day at the end of the week anyway.

  • Spoonman.||

    My township is at least intelligent enough to split trash collection into four days, and on normal-week Fridays they do special pickups, yard waste, etc.

  • ||

    I work by a courthouse, bank, and post office. A lot of the offices in my building are empty today, and there were a ton of parking spots. So the trickle down effect does work.

  • Brett L||

    My wife works for the University, so did her dad. She seems puzzled as to why anyone would have to work today.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Yeah, 27+ years in the Army and this is what I get on Veteran's Day - NO ALT-TEXT?!

    *stomps off in huff to find mattress sale*

  • Lord Humungus||

    Final Toast for Doolittle Raiders
    Veterans of Famed World War II Bomber Attack in the Pacific Meet to Salute Comrades

    Of the original 80 men, only four remain. The three who can still travel met here Saturday at the National Museum of the U.S. Air Force, for a final toast to their comrades—a tradition they have kept up for more than 50 years. On stage, in front of hundreds of guests, the Raiders unsealed and drank from a bottle of 1896 vintage cognac they have been safekeeping since it was first given to Lt. Col. Doolittle in 1956 as a birthday present.
  • SIV||

  • Winston||

    Dalton Trumbo was one of the screenwriters. The US was allied with Uncle Joe at the time though.

  • Apple||

    I think that long scene in 30 Seconds over Tokyo, starting with the planes getting ready to take off and ending with them washing up on the beach in China, still stands up as one of the most exciting action sequences of all time.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Anthem Blue Cross, WellPoint (WLP) Unit, Sued For Allegedly Tricking Tens Of Thousands Into Dropping 'Grandfathered' Health Plans

    Anthem Blue Cross tricked tens of thousands of Calfornia policyholders into giving up health insurance plans from which they could not be dropped and pushing them into policies that Anthem knew would be cancelled, according to two lawsuits filed in Los Angeles.

    The lawsuits, filed Monday in Superior Court, may signal an emerging customer pushback against the approximately 900,000 cancellations in California alone of individual health insurance policies that will take effect Dec. 31.

    http://www.ibtimes.com/anthem-.....ndfathered

    (why people hate the health insurance cartel)

  • Brett L||

    I guess giving the insurance companies another way to "trick" individuals into more expensive plans without foreseeing it is another rousing success of the law, eh? Your leaders got rolled by the insurance companies, fascist.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    John is the fascist. Unless you are as stupid as Jonah Goldberg and have to qualify fascist with "liberal" in front of it as a means of projection. As we have proven fascism is a right-wing disease.

    Yes, the insurers are still rolling people.

  • Juice||

    So before the ACA they rolled those people into policies they liked?

  • VG Zaytsev||

    John is the fascist. Unless you are as stupid as Jonah Goldberg and have to qualify fascist with "liberal" in front of it as a means of projection. As we have proven fascism is a right-wing disease.

    LOL

    You dumbshit!

    Obamacare is fascist in the classic sense.

    It's using government coercion to create an industry cartel including further coercion to compel the general public to buy their product. And then tops it all off with government subsidies.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Yes, the insurers are still rolling people.

    With the connivance and aid of Obama and the progs.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Yes, the insurers are still rolling people.

    With the connivance and aid of Obama and the progs.

  • Ted S.||

    Fascism is an economic system in which the means of production nominally remain in private hands, but are effectively controlled by government policy.

    I'd say fascist isn't that far off for the health insurance sector.

  • KDN||

    You can't expect shrike to get that, he only reads at a first-grade level. He'll be back over here any minute now to post a 20-point list of "fascist qualities" by some no-name lefty history professor to thoroughly disprove your contention.

  • Drake||

    That describes the entire modern Democrat platform.

    State control of the energy, transportation, health, food, agriculture, and health industries. They can still be privately owned - but they better obey.

    Fascism has always been leftist (on the American spectrum at least). The Dems have gone there now because they know state ownership is too difficult under the Constitution - and with their own incompetence.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Fascism is applied socialism.

    The old definition of socialism as government ownership of the means of production has been a proven failure - for the politicians that control government.

    Fascism gives them the positives of ownership - control & revenue; without the negatives - responsibility and accountability.

  • Brett L||

    Yes, in practice Fascism was National Socialism and Socialism was Soviet Union dominated ("International") socialism. You can see why the Browns and the Reds wanted to kill each other.

  • WTF||

    As we have proven fascism is a right-wing disease.

    Just when I think shitstain can't get any stupider, it brings the derp to a whole new level.

  • Fluffy||

    Basically the article accuses them of offering policies for sale after the grandfather cutoff date...and not offering people legal advice about the implications of moving from their grandfathered plan to the new plan.

    Since these are insurance companies and not law offices, it's not up to them to offer legal advice.

    Maybe these people should have called the White House to get free legal advice about the ACA.

  • trshmnstr||

    As we have proven fascism is a right-wing disease.

    Yes, because freedom is slavery. Not giving is taking. Off to the Gulags with those evil fascist right-wingers!!!one!!1!

  • cavalier973||

    As we have proven fascism is a right-wing disease.

    "Proven"? Huh.

    It's statements like this that give credence to the assertion that you are nothing more than a sock-puppet troll. Meaning, you don't really believe what you write, you're just trying to get reactions.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Pope Francis has worked a real miracle: getting people into church

    More than half of Italy's priests are reporting a surge in Mass attendance. Why? Pope Francis. The new pontiff's popularity has transformed the image of the Church in its homeland. The people and even the cynical press have taken him to their heart: "modest", "simpatico" and "fun" are the epithets used to describe the first Argentinian pontiff. I can't think of the last time a spiritual leader boasted such a combination of tributes: "modest" could have been said of Benedict XVI, but the German intellectual was not really fun. John Paul II could have been called "simpatico", but I'm not sure that he could be accused of modesty.
  • SugarFree||

    Anti-Pope vote in 3... 2...

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Recent appointee to commission on Vatican finances calls Papal secy of state corrupt, is photographed in provocative poses.

    http://www.theaustralian.com.a.....699478951#

    Inevitable Simpson's reference:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMjnkLbxFKU

  • cavalier973||

  • The Late P Brooks||

    He’s a community organizer who works alone.

    I tried to read that nonsensical slavering the other day. Couldn't manage it.

  • Drake||

    Did they ever define "works"?

  • VG Zaytsev||

    He works alone, yeah
    With nobody else
    He works alone, yeah
    With nobody else
    You know when he works alone
    He prefers to be by himelf

    Every morning just before breakfast
    He don't want no coffee or tea
    Just him and good buddy Weiser
    That's all he ever needs
    'Cause he works alone, yeah
    With nobody else

    Yeah, you know when he works alone
    I prefers to be by himself

    The other night he laid sleeping
    And woke from a terrible dream
    So he caught up his pal Jack Daniel's
    And his partner Jimmy Beam
    And we worked alone, yeah
    With nobody else
    Yeah, you know when he works alone

    He prefers to be by himself

  • Derpetologist||

    Galen Winsor eats uranium oxide on stage (skip to about 32 min mark):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x42qi7Fz1L0

  • The Other Kevin||

    Why is Miley Cyrus wearing Prince's scrabble set?

  • Enough About Palin||

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    I didn't know modern artists *had* them.

  • Zeb||

    Modern artists definitely did, but there aren't too many of them around anymore.

  • SugarFree||

    Nailed into a cobblestone? Impressive, especially given how cold it looks in the picture.

  • waffles||

    That's pretty good spectacle. Is spectacle art? Don't care. Damn good spectacle.

  • Derpetologist||

    Food irradiation; such a no-brainer, and yet so bitterly opposed:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=087JTrlRUfk

  • Marshall Gill||

    Mark Steyn obviously reads Reason, and from the use of a certain term must also read the comments.

    Alas, Mr. Eckert’s body proved to be a drug-free zone, and so, after twelve hours of detention, he was released. If you’re wondering where his lawyer was during all this, no attorney was present, as police had not charged Mr. Eckert with anything, so they’re apparently free to frolic and gambol up his rectum to their hearts’ content.

    He is clearly channeling Balko in this article.

    http://www.nationalreview.com/.....mark-steyn

  • Spoonman.||

    ...Gambol?

  • Brett L||

    You know who else...

  • Marshall Gill||

    You ever read that word anywhere else?

  • SugarFree||

    Maybe Spoonman is blissful ignorant of those dark days. I wish I could forget...

  • ||

    Rectum? Damn near anus'd him!

  • Spoonman.||

    I was here.

  • cavalier973||

    If you gambol in the wrong place, you might have to go to gaol.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Surprise!

    The technical term for navigating a workplace effectively might be soft skills, but employers are facing some hard facts: the entry-level candidates who are on tap to join the ranks of full-time work are clueless about the fundamentals of office life.

    A survey by the Workforce Solutions Group at St. Louis Community College finds that more than 60% of employers say applicants lack “communication and interpersonal skills” — a jump of about 10 percentage points in just two years. A wide margin of managers also say today’s applicants can’t think critically and creatively, solve problems or write well.

    ------

    As much as academics go on about the lack of math and science skills, bosses are more concerned with organizational and interpersonal proficiency. The National Association of Colleges and Employers surveyed more than 200 employers about their top 10 priorities in new hires. Overwhelmingly, they want candidates who are team players, problem solvers and can plan, organize and prioritize their work. Technical and computer-related know-how placed much further down the list.

  • Brett L||

    What? But surely endlessly discussing the trivia of feminist theory on pre-feminist theory works provides these things, right?

  • VG Zaytsev||

    It's almost like college makes kids dumber, or something.

  • CatoTheElder||

    Well, one study finds that the average Ivy League graduate completes four years and leaves university with less knowledge of history and civics than the average entering freshman at same set of institutions.

  • Cdr Lytton||

    entry-level candidates who are on tap to join the ranks of full-time work are clueless about the fundamentals of office life

    Where have all the experienced entry-level workers gone?

  • R C Dean||

    The technical term for navigating a workplace effectively might be soft skills, but employers are facing some hard facts: the entry-level candidates who are on tap to join the ranks of full-time work are clueless about the fundamentals of office life.

    No fucking shit. I had to let someone go because they just couldn't show up on time, stay until the end of the day, and not piss people off during their infrequent visits to the office.

    As I was explaining this, it became clear that these were completely novel concepts.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Healthcare.junk
    Scam artists are filling the vacuum left by the Obama website failure.

    So the national embarrassment known as Healthcare.gov and the 36 federal ObamaCare exchanges won't be fixed by the end of November after all, notwithstanding a month of assurances from the White House.

    In updates for reporters on Thursday and Friday, the Affordable Care Act's lead repairman Jeff Zients more or less conceded that the website three years in the making won't work until sometime after the end of this month. He explained that every problem that is resolved and taken off the "punch list"—already several hundred items long—reveals new problems that the tech people didn't know about. "Where we are is not where we want to be," he said.
  • The Late P Brooks||

    More:

    Part of the problem is that you don’t know what you don’t know, as the saying goes. Harris Interactive found a huge gap between students’ perceptions of their abilities and managers’ perceptions of those same skills.

    None of the students think they’re entirely prepared for the workforce, but they’re a lot more confident than the managers surveyed.

    There’s a 22-percentage-point difference between the two groups’ assessment of the students’ financial skills, which Inside Higher Ed calls “alarming,” in an article about the research. Managers also take a much dimmer view of students’ abilities to communicate with authority figures, prioritize and organize their work, manage projects, work in teams and with diverse groups.

    It’s just harder to teach these skills, experts say. “It is hard to correct a lifetime of bad habits in a short period of time,” Roderick Nunn, vice chancellor for economic development and workforce solutions at St. Louis Community College, tells the St. Louis Beacon.

    It's almost as if teh KIDZ THESE DAZE have never had their shortcomings pointed out to them.

  • Spoonman.||

    My wife's workplace had to fire a guy on his first day. He disappeared from the office six times, and his excuses got progressively stranger, culminating in "I'm on some medication, so I had to go buy some lotion."

  • Fluffy||

    Meh.

    I like to dump on millennials as much as anyone, but somehow I think this entire survey boils down to

    a much dimmer view of students’ abilities to communicate with authority figures

    There are a lot of maggots out there in management positions who do everything they can to bury progress under process, and who expect everyone around them to turn a blind eye to their inconsistencies and their horrific mistakes.

    And young people (of any generation) do that LESS than middle-aged people, because they've had less time to learn to lick boots, and because they have less at stake if they are asked to leave.

  • John||

    We have an education system that rewards young people for licking boots and telling their profs the right thing. So if you have a young person with a lot of credentials, chance are they are a master bootlicker or they wouldn't have stayed in school that long.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    As someone that has employed young people for many years, I say that you are 100% wrong.

    Over the last two decades kids have gotten progressively dumber in handling unexpected tasks. They are pretty good at answering expected questions and following explicit directions but completely incompetent at 'figuring things out'. I surmise from my experience that schooling has devolved to little more than hyper respect of authority and confirmation bias.

  • Neoliberal Kochtopus||

    The only reason the management types are any good at what they do is because they can pick up the phone to talk to some buddy of theirs to get the problem papered over.

    Give me a room of 30-year-olds with iPhones any day of the week. They work *constantly*. They check e-mails at 1 AM and respond. Bureaucratic management is there to deliberately stifle progress under process.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Depends on what you want those 30 year old to do.

    Programming - sure?

    Anything outside their immediate experience - no way.

    And I'm no fan of bureaucracy, at all, imo economies of scale are generally overrated and diseconomies of scale overlooked.

  • R C Dean||

    Give me a room of 30-year-olds with iPhones any day of the week. They work *constantly*.

    Oh, sure, they're busy as hell, just not doing what they're getting paid to do.

  • Fluffy||

    I hear what you're saying, believe me.

    I just don't think that's the particular complaint in this article.

    Look at the code words.

    prioritize and organize their work

    "My number 1 priority changes every week based on upper management giving me shit, and the young kids don't just roll with it but call me on my bullshit!"

    work in teams

    "When I put them on a team with my bro who's an incompetent hack, they won't just do all the work and give my bro the credit!"

    diverse groups

    "Everybody is supposed to just know that Taneesha is a minority female hire and can't be fucked with even though she's an incredibly toxic incompetent bitch who destroys everything she touches!"

  • Azathoth!!||


    prioritize and organize their work

    "My number 1 priority changes every week based on upper management giving me shit, and the young kids don't just roll with it but call me on my bullshit!"

    The only reason they're not rolling with it is because it's just not fair!

    work in teams

    "When I put them on a team with my bro who's an incompetent hack, they won't just do all the work and give my bro the credit!"

    They know that 'teamwork' is shorthand for 'do as little as possible', just like your bro--they've been trained for that in school.

    diverse groups

    "Everybody is supposed to just know that Taneesha is a minority female hire and can't be fucked with even though she's an incredibly toxic incompetent bitch who destroys everything she touches!"

    They're all so self defined into so many minority/disability/ethnicity and gender groups that they ALL think they're AA hires that can't be fucked with.

  • JW||

    I've been driving into The Boy's head that there are only 2 acceptable answers for employers, when you don't have the right answer:

    1) I'm sorry for that error and I can assure you that it won't happen again. And:

    2) I don't know the answer to that, but I'll find out and report back ASAP.

    All other responses are null and void.

  • R C Dean||

    After years of hard experience and a fistful of pink slips, you are absolutely right, JW.

    If you can't put a leash on your impulse to blurt out that you're the smartest, best looking person in the room every time things aren't going your way, you are not going to succeed in an organized workplace setting.

  • Brett L||

    "You don't have to prove you're the smartest guy in the room. Keep your mouth shut until someone asks your opinion. Keep it short if they do."
    -- Papa L

    Probably the 2nd best work advice I ever got besides:

    "When your boss is being an asshole, say silently to yourself, 'you asshole'. Then say, 'yes, sir', out loud and go do what he told you to do."

    Of course, the latter came about 15 as I was about to enter the hourly market, and the first about 22, when I started my first salaried job.

  • Brett L||

    The juco my pops works for has a "Ready to Work" certification curriculum that they have pretty successfully marketed to local employers. The first certification is these basic things. How to dress, how to get an interview, appropriate interaction with co-workers and supervisors. Some of these young men and women have literally no role-models on these basic things.

    Certifications progress into things like light manufacturing training and such, but its one of those cultural blindspots I had. What do you mean, people don't know how to go to work? I've been trained for it since I could walk.

  • wareagle||

    What do you mean, people don't know how to go to work?

    if you were raised in a welfare environment, how would you know anything about going to work?

  • Brett L||

    I agree 100%. Many of these young adults don't know how to go to work because not everybody in the generations raising them does. Its one of the most effective things in the whole community college mission of workforce training. But it wasn't a generation ago when pops started. Then you mostly got adults coming back to work or young people who were apprenticed who needed some formal training.

  • Lord Humungus||

    anyone use a straight razor for shaving? Thinking of moving away from my Merkur 180 Safety Razor and going for the real thing. I do, however, fear the neck cutting ability.

  • SugarFree||

    You aren't really shaving for yourself, but because of the insane pressures of Western beauty standards. Stop shaving and strike a blow for oppressed men everywhere.

  • Lord Humungus||

    I'm in my 40s and still grow a beard like a 15yo. My facial hair is a patchy network of mismatched follicles.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I have been shaving very regularly for the same reason. I gave it a shot last year for the Stanley Cup playoffs just to see if things had improved... I guess it has a little?

  • Lord Humungus||

    not sure the reason why, but my beard quality did go up when I started shaving with the Merkur. Perhaps it is actually shaving the follicles off instead of pulling them out.

    bonus, the blades are dirt cheap compared to my previous Mach 3.

  • Numeromancer||

    Like any real man, I use the rusty disposables left in the shower after my wife shaves her legs.

  • SugarFree||

    I just don't see how any grown woman could be attracted to a shaven man. They must be secretly attracted to little boys. Creeps me out.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    So you are into girls with hairy legs?

  • SugarFree||

    So you are into girls with hairy legs?

    Yes, otherwise you are a pedophile.

  • Lord Humungus||

    You're just shilling for the neckbeard lobby.

  • Brett L||

    Racist.

    (Neal Stephenson's classic send-up of the beard as a tool of white male oppression in Cryptonomicon is the argument for him eschewing an editor. The Van Eck radiation reading scene is the argument against.)

  • cavalier973||

  • John||

    Lord H,

    Aren't you the guy on here who is always building the vintage amps?

  • Lord Humungus||

    I work on vintage gear and sometimes build new, from-scratch amplifiers. Of course Old Man With Candy does the same.

    I'm currently rolling with a pair of Eico HF-60 monoblocks that I rebuilt.
    http://www.radiomuseum.org/ima.....286486.jpg

    Originally made in 1957 and still going strong.

  • John||

    I went to see John Fogerty Friday. He might be the only guy from the 60s who kept his equipment. Even bands like the Rolling Stones, who have more money than God, don't sound like they did in the late 60s because the equipment is not the same. But Fogerty does. He has this amazing grungy fuzz box guitar sound the tonal quality of I have never heard live before. From where I was sitting I could see the three amps they had miced up for his guitar. One was new but the other two looked like they could burst into flames they were so old.

    He is a fantastic guitarist. But more uniquely he gets a sound out of his guitar that sounds so retro. If you are into that sort of sound, go see him sometime or download one of his recent live shows. It is remarkable.

  • kinnath||

    same as me ;-)

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    I've used the neckcutters before. They do cut closer, but the problem is that they are designed to be used by someone shaving someone else's face. You'll never really get over the awkwardness of using it unless you're a professional barber.

    I'd stick with the Merkur for everyday use.

  • Lord Humungus||

    makes sense - thanks!

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    I don't use a straight razor, but from discussions I've seen, it's best to start off doing the "easy" parts with the straight razor and finish with the safety razor until you get the hang of using it.

    That said, I love my Merkur and all the money I save not buying Mach 3 shit anymore. Switching ended up saving me about $100 a year, because I usually can make a razor last for 2 weeks or more.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Life imitates the Simpsons

    "PR guru Francesca Chaouqui to help rebrand Vatican’s tarnished image...

    "[Pope Francis has] appointed a glamorous PR adviser, Francesca Chaouqui, a former management consultant with Ernst and Young, to represent a papal committee charged with overhauling financial administration.

    "According to media reports Ms Chaouqui, 30, is married to a computer scientist who has worked extensively at the Vatican. Francis seems unconcerned that in 2010, in what is described as a spirit of fun, she posted a slideshow on YouTube that includes several apparently topless studio portraits of her with an unidentified boyfriend.

    "Before her appointment she did not mince her words about religion with controversial tweets accusing a cardinal of corruption and hinted that Francis’s predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI, was seriously ill. Her Twitter account was deleted after the tweets appeared in the media."

    http://www.express.co.uk/news/.....shed-image

    Simpsons - Catholic Church commercial -

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMjnkLbxFKU

  • John||

    I was thinking about the issue of work place discrimination laws the other day. When you think about it, they are not bans on workplace discrimination. They are bans on actions and speech that a reasonable jury could determine is workplace discrimination. The two are not the same. We can never look into someone's heart. So we will never know 100% for sure why someone failed to hire or fire someone. All we can do is look at the things they did and said. So when they first passed these laws, they effectively banned "I won't hire the X". Of course people stopped saying things like that. But if they were of the mind to do it, went on discriminating just without saying so. So then the law moved on to things like hostile work environment and disparate impact. The idea was sure they don't say it but you can see in other things that that is what they did. And in some cases that was true. But the effect of that was to essentially ban any honest speech about race, religion or sex in the work place. I might think that women don't belong in job X but also think Jane is the exception and I would never fire her. But I dare not say that because I open myself up a law suit. So what we end up banning is speech, not conduct. You can still discriminate today. You just have to do it without saying the wrong things. It is the speech that counts not your actions.

  • John||

    So when we talk about banning workplace discrimination against gays, what we are really doing is banning critical speech against gays in the workplace.

  • Fluffy||

    Yes, that's quite true.

    I also think that if ENDA passes it will take approximately one half of one second for someone to sue under it and offer as evidence an employer's previous political donation to or support of an anti-gay-marriage initiative.

  • John||

    You make a great point. It is not just the work place. It will be in the political arena as a whole. Think about it, could a manager today donate to a white supremacist political cause? Hell no. No employer could hire such a manager.

    So if you pass the ENDA, no manager will be able to donate to any political cause that is against gays. Or really when you think about it be a member of something like the Mormon or Catholic Church. How could such a person win a suit brought under the ENDA?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I wonder how this would work in my case. Technically, I'm a Catholic (though I only attend Mass when I am at my parents for holidays). Currently, I live in a 3 bedroom with my sister, and another girl who is a lesbian. My roommate from college is a "bi" guy who has been dating exclusively men for the past several years since he came out. Would they be able to paint me as anti-gay if it was helpful to a lawsuit?

  • VG Zaytsev||

    They'll sure as hell try, and make your life miserable in the process.

    And enough big corps will settle suits like, as less expensive than defending them, to incentivize the filing of new ones.

  • John||

    You know what the asnwer to that is AD?

    The same thing the race mongers give when a white person claims "I have friends that are black". So what, you are still anti gay or you wouldn't be a Catholic.

  • Brett L||

    You're already a CEO Catholic, why do you need to work?

    (*Christmas and Easter Only)

  • wareagle||

    and it will take another half-second for HR departments to take a harder look at applicants they believe are gay, seeing "potential lawsuit" rather than "qualified applicant."

    Is there some rash of gay firings going on?

  • John||

    For sure. I don't see anyone really benefits from these laws.

  • prolefeed||

    Some lawyers benefit. Some aggrieved people, some professionally aggrieved, benefit. All of the lawmakers who voted for it think they will benefit.

    The rest of us, not so much so.

  • CatoTheElder||

    - Class-action lawyers and employment lawyers.
    - Gay-identity agitators.
    - Straights who get warm and fuzzy feelings about being inclusive and culturally diverse.
    - Statist pricks of any sort that is not repelled by homosexuality. Even if ENDA doesn't address their particular statist objective, it expands the purview of the State and will make it easier to expand further in the future.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    That bill is also effectively banning referring to someone with a penis and XY chromosomes as a man if that person thinks they aren't. We better control the (accurate) pronouns people use!

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Yep, and it also hardens the feelings of people that are unable to openly express their opinions, prolonging prejudice, in the long run.

    Which, is part of the point of those regs - to create a permanently politically active aggrieved group.

  • trshmnstr||

    Of course, as you're saying, these laws have no hope in actually regulating what they are intended to regulate. It simply does two things.

    1) Attaches the homosexual class to anti-discrimination laws, adding them to blacks and women. Identity politics at its finest. As I've said before, identity politics is the easiest way to get people to shut their brains off. They now get to legislate on "teh feelz".

    2) It now makes a direct connection between slavery and homosexuality. Now, when you criticize anti-discrimination laws for homosexuality, the default response will be "so you want slavery again?"

    At the end of the day, the stupid party is the stupid party, not because they're statist-lite or because they are always making strategic errors, but because they don't understand the identity politics at the root of all of this.

  • John||

    They are just as bad as the left in some ways. They assume because a law says one thing it actually does that and not something else in practice.

  • trshmnstr||

    I find that socons tend to have the same progressive blind spot to the "what if your team doesn't get elected?" argument.

    They typically respond with "if the law is clearly written, they can't disobey it". (read: TOP. MEN.) I generally respond with "how's that working out with the Constitution?"

    Socons have found their connection to their progressive roots. They fear losing the culture, and are willing to sell out to statism in order to preserve their "christian nation". Socons are the only ones on the right who actively use identity politics to further their goals. Something about collectivism fuels identity politics.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    If the Rs weren't the Stupid Party, they'd focus like a laser on Section 8. This is the provision relating to dress codes and employee facilities.

    Sec. 8 says employers don't have to provide "new or additional facilities" for their employees, but it still leaves open the possibility of "transgendered" employees getting to use the bathrooms, gyms, etc. of whichever sex they identify with. The Rs should have proposed to amend this to say that an employer can provide separate facilities for different sexes, sex being defined as your sex at birth.

    Then the Rs could have forced the Dems to explain why sexuall-confused men should have the right to use the women's bathroom, and vice-versa.

    That might have an effect on the approval numbers of ENDA, especially when the Dems vote down the proposed amendment.

    http://bit.ly/1aumCKn

  • Enough About Palin||

  • Auric Demonocles||

    A slideshow? You monster. You almost got me to click.

  • Mokers||

    http://www.npr.org/blogs/healt.....ealth-care

    On the other hand, if you underestimate your income and get subsidies, then end up earning more, come tax time the following year you will be expected to pay back subsidies you weren't eligible for.

    This is going to be great. Poor person thought they were going to get a certain income, qualified for a plan subsidy, but end up working hard and earning more money. They will get dinged the next year for those subsidies.

    Fucking incentives, how do they work?

  • SugarFree||

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...the average British woman is, we are told, 5ft 3in (161.6cm), 11 stone (70.2kg) and a size 16, and there is very little representation of her in consumer culture.

    THAT'S BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THOSE NUMBERS MEAN.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Damn, British chicks are short.

  • SugarFree||

    Average US female 20-29 height is 5 ft 4 1/2. (Average weight is 164.)

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I had always heard 5'6". Maybe that was just white chicks.

  • SugarFree||

    5'5" for white girls. 5'2 1/2" for Latinas.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    5'2 1/2" for Latinas

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Geez, my neck would get sore.

  • JW||

    5'2 1/2" for Latinas.

    Yes, but that's circumference as well.

  • Brett L||

    Senoras, not senoritas, Jdub.

  • John||

    That is average. One fat woman at say 200, would be 60 lbs above 140. That means she makes up for six women who are a reasonable 130. If even 10% of them are over 200lbs, that raises the average.

    The better number would be the median or even the mode, or most common weight.

  • trshmnstr||

    Yes, true. The mean is very misleading, because the distribution is not going to be remotely symmetrical. There's a practical floor to women's weights around 90lbs. There isn't really a practical ceiling (maybe half a ton?). This means there's quite a long tail above the mean, but a very truncated one below. Just like incomes, median would be a better measurement.

  • Zeb||

    So, not much difference between US and UK women.

  • Lord Humungus||

    and chubby.

    John Paradise!

  • Snark Plissken||

    John Paradise just so happens to have been John's porn nom de guerre.

  • Swiss Servator, I got nothing.||

    Heh. We'll have to see if he adopts that..

  • Slammer||

  • Warty||

    HIPSTERRRRRRRRS WIIIIIIIIIIITH GUNNNNNNNNNNNNNS

    CETMEs are illegal in New York. This is a lie.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    A CETME?!? The fool won't be able to reload his brass!

  • Zeb||

    Iranian hipsters.

  • Brett L||

    The band is made up of Iranians who have been in the country for a while and were seeking asylum here, law enforcement sources.

    Not NYC hipsters.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I saw Drew Carey Friday night. Hadn't seen his standup before, but it was quite good. I had also forgotten he lost all that weight, and that he's been doing the Price is Right for 7 years. I'm sure Reason would be happy to know there were several jokes about how much of a failure Obamacare is. It felt kind of weird watching a celebrity make political jokes which weren't directed exclusively at Republicans.

  • Andrew S.||

    Carey: One of two libertarians in the entertainment industry(Penn Jillette being the other)

  • ||

    Joe Rogan and Doug Stanhope.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    I just don't see how any grown woman could be attracted to a shaven man. They must be secretly attracted to little boys. Creeps me out.

    trollolol

    Nice.

  • Enough About Palin||

  • prolefeed||

    Secretary of State John Kerry said that the U.S. and its allies had agreed on a proposal relating to Iran’s nuclear program, but Iranian officials were unable to accept the deal.

    Mighty generous of John Kerry to come up with a plan telling Iran how to run their country, even if those ingrates reject his proposal. Perhaps he could also give them advice on how to set up a website for health insurance?

  • Brett L||

    "You give up your centrifuges and we'll let the Saudis have their way with you."

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    If you like your centrifuge you can keep it.

  • KMA Too||

    Apologies if this has been covered before:

    Delightful!


    And, thanks, EAP, for the Gord.

  • ||

    ▂ ▄ ▅ ▇ LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY ▇ ▅ ▄ ▂ ▁
    My Boy friend makes $75/hour on the internet. She has been without a job for 6 months but last month her pay was $16453 just working on the internet for a few hours. Straight from the source------------ http://www.jobs53.com

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