A.M. Links: Rand Paul Says “Goons” Were Sent To Stop WWII Vets From Visiting Their Memorial, Greenpeace Activists Charged With Piracy in Russia, Georgia School District Considers Buying Assault Weapons

Credit: Lipton sale /wikimediaCredit: Lipton sale /wikimedia

  • Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) says that the government sent “goons” to stop WWII veterans from visiting the WWII memorial in Washington D.C., which was closed because of the government shutdown. The veterans reportedly broke down barricades to visit the memorial. 
  • Russia has charged Greenpeace activists who launched a protest against Arctic oil drilling last month with piracy. Two of the charged activists attempted to scale the the Prirazlomnaya platform after a Greenpeace icebreaker approached the rig.
  • A school district in Georgia is considering keeping assault weapons armories in its schools in case of a shooting.
  • The French Ministry of Veteran Affairs has suggested that the history of French soldiers who were executed for desertion in WWI and were labeled as “cowards” in history books be reviewed. The ministry recommends that the French government issue a “formal declaration” clearing the hundreds of soldiers of dishonor.
  • Palo Alto’s city council voted unanimously in favor of a new proposal requiring that new homes come equipped with electric car charging stations.
  • Reports of a “sex jihad” in Syria may be a hoax.

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) says that the government sent “goons” to stop WWII veterans from visiting the WWII memorial...

    No, the goons were furloughed. These were thugs.

  • Bardas Phocas||

    And sadly, Andre the Giant was unavailable to be the Brute Squad.

  • Brett L||

    Everyone knows Andre would have wrapped those barricades around the Park Police to disable them and gently ferried disabled servicemen or diabled spouses in his giant, loving arms.

  • pan fried wylie||

    When those Thugoons are old, I can only hope that they too have a memorial, of a boot stomping on a face forever, that they too can be barred from visiting.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    I sooo want to see Obama's goons arresting a bunch of 80 year old vets for visiting an open air memorial.

  • Free Society||

    The government would have us believe that allowing photons to bounce off of monuments and into our eyeballs, that costs the government money.

    "How can you expect to have access to national parks if you're not funding overpaid regulatory overlords?"

  • VG Zhitphayce||

    If you disagree with me or the GOP's strategy re: government shutdown, even if you personally enjoy a government shutdown, you must be a "progtard concern troll".

    Signed the expert intellectual VonGaylord Zitphayce.

    I'm not saying I have all the answers, but give me a fucking break man. I just think the only way people are going to realize their mistakes is if they get to feel the pain obviously and directly. 99% of people are too stupid to understand much of anything else. I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt it. I've also got money riding on the 2014 and 2016 elections, so it pisses me off when I think the GOP is making moves I think are not strategically advantageous. Not to mention the fact if the GOP can't repeal something that has already gone into effect or anything we might as well just drive this POS off the cliff. The "people" deserve it anyway for being fooled by this duopoly circus. I could hardly give a shit if I died tomorrow because I'm tired of living in a world full of dipshits where I will be perpetually punished for never harming anyone, and there exist plenty on both the left and the right who push these sorts of agendas. In the end all I see is a bunch of people worried about protecting their egos and not the actual future, never being able to admit they're wrong (and yes if I turn out to be wrong about this, I'll fully admit it). Fuck them all. The faster this shitshow collapses the better for me and humanity.

  • waffles||

    That's some fresh bramblecrazy. Cheer up Zitface! The government is shutdown and we are all better for ignoring their whines.

  • VG Zhitphayce||

    If it weren't for the government shutdown (which again I personally enjoy), all of the media focus would likely be on the complete joke the opening of the O'care exchanges are.

    So what's the better strategy, have the media spin the government shutdown as a negative for the economy and those poor poor government workers, or leave the media nothing to focus on but the shittiness of Obamacare? DERP DERP.

  • VG Zhitphayce||

    I was looking forward to seeing nothing but news coverage about problems with the exchanges opening, now it will all get blamed on those evul teathuglicans!

  • VG Zaytsev||

    You don't have much experience with America's state sanctioned media do you?

  • VG Zhitphayce||

    It's more about how easy they make the narrative to push onto the low info morons.

    Right now they've made it exceedingly easy to blame any problem with O'care's implementation on the government shutdown and teathuglican interference.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Why isn't the narrative - look how f-ed up Obamacare's roll out is - that's why the republicans want to delay it a year?

    That actually fits the facts better than whatever half assed bullshit they come up with on an hourly basis.

    The fact is that the statist media is going to cover for Obama and blame the evil rethuglicans no matter what happens.

  • SugarFree||

    That narrative was already in place and in evidence this morning: The exchanges didn't work well because of overwhelming popularity.

    The back-up narrative: The evil GOP won't let the funding be in place for them to run properly.

  • Brett L||

    So when you still can't sign up on November 1... Still the popularity?

  • VG Zaytsev||

    No, by then it will be old news and not worth coverage --- look over there it's Beyonce.

  • Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!||

    WHERE??!

  • Killazontherun||

    Shoot her in the ass, man at arms! I've always wanted to see silicon bleed.

  • Loki||

    The exchanges didn't work well because of overwhelming popularity.

    And don't forget, the problems with people getting answers or technical support for problems with the exchanges is because of the government shutdown.

    I actually heard that as I was walking past a TV that was playing CNN (we have some TVs where I work tuned to CNN, I guess so that people can stay up on breaking news or some such bullshit). It took every ounce of self control I could muster not to rip the TV off the wall and smash it to pieces.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Whatever makes big government look bad and makes people cynical about the ability of the federal government to function is a good thing, whether that's an Obamacare fail or a shutdown. Both are good things.

  • gaijin||

    Whatever makes big government look bad and makes people cynical

    I wish that such things were cut and dried. Alas, I fear that bitter clingers will always excuse the big government to which they are betrothed.

  • Bobarian||

    Unfortunately, when big government is functioning exactly like it is supposed to is when people become cynical.

    When big government looks bad, I get a little spring in my step and whistle a little tune.

  • ||

    I agree, I want to shake the unshakeable faith in Big G that some people have. And I think gridlock is a good thing, because it forces people to pay attention to the process. Even though the media mostly carries water for the wrong side, though.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    ...all of the media focus would likely be on the complete joke the opening of the O'care exchanges are.

    Are you getting drunk this early or still drunk from last night?

  • VG Zhitphayce||

    Are you getting drunk this early or still drunk from last night?

    Both really, I was being a bit overly optimistic there I admit.

    Still I think I'm right overall about this.

    Then again maybe people will see the shutdown as a "failure" of government, and not just blame it on those evil "anarchists". Though I know the administration is going to play this for everything its worth and shut down as many public sites as possible even if it isn't required whatsoever.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Though I know the administration is going to play this for everything its worth and shut down as many public sites as possible even if it isn't required whatsoever.

    Is anyone listening? Besides the true believers, I mean. At some point, Obama just looks dickless. Combine the shut down with getting pwnd by Putin over Syria and how horrible Obamacare is shaping up to be, and he looks like a loser who cannot control any situation.

    I watch the financial channels (CNBC and Bloomburg) and every story is shifted through the "dysfunctional government" (blaming repubs) prism. The media in an attempt to help Obama are promoting cynicism of government. That is a very good thing.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Also, economically, things are going to get worse. The 4Q GDP while probably not negative will be around 1%. We're moving into a slow down into the Xmas season.

    This is shaping up to be our winter of discontent, and while the Dems will surely blame it on the shut down and the Repubs, that blame shifting has a limited shelf life. When the elections of '14 come around we're going to be in a right pickle. Good Times. Good Times.

  • Raven Nation||

    I understand your comments about cynicism of government being a good thing. But, from the limited news reports I've seen, the stories are being presented as the good government being derailed by "radical" Republicans who engineered a shut down because, at heart, they hate government.

    The solution, therefore, is to get rid of Republicans (& libertarians for that matter), electing Democrats who like government and will make sure it works well.

    And this is all being helped along with sob story after sob story of peoples whose lives, weddings, jobs, etc. have been destroyed not by government but by the LACK of government.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    And this is all being helped along with sob story after sob story of peoples whose lives, weddings, jobs, etc. have been destroyed not by government but by the LACK of government.

    Yeah. But how much staying power does that narrative really have? Will it be remembered come Nov.'14? In the broader context Obama looks powerless to control circumstances. I don't think that works in the Dems favor.

  • Raven Nation||

    "But how much staying power does that narrative really have?"

    The problem is that you are getting close to two full generations of people who simply can't see a world where the government does anything but help. I posted a link yesterday from a serious science website which included the statement that the shutdown would seriously impinge on science.

    It's not just the philosophy majors: thousands of scientists have been educated in the liberal arts with the idea that government is good. As to next November, it will be fairly easy for the Big O (with media assist) to argue that, he couldn't help people because the Republicans still controlled the house and they must be gotten rid of. Same with the ACA, it will be the insurance companies that get the blame for rising premiums.

  • Killazontherun||

    The solution, therefore, is to get rid of Republicans (& libertarians for that matter), electing Democrats who like government and will make sure it works well.

    And that will be the nail in the statist coffin. You think the American public will tolerate being turned into Greece? The Democrats need the Republicans for the occasional breather from the crapstorm of their policy agenda. Without that valve, they go away like the old Soviet state.

  • trshmnstr||

    Obama just looks dickless. Combine the shut down with getting pwnd by Putin over Syria and how horrible Obamacare is shaping up to be, and he looks like a loser who cannot control any situation.

    Even my wife, who is pretty close to apolitical, said he was acting like a petulant child.

    There's only so much "righteous indignation" that you can play on before you're outed as a whiner. It appears that Obama has crossed that line for a bunch of people.

  • ||

    On the plus side, we get the irony of the NPS website being taken down, even as the ObamaCare websites go live.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    A school district in Georgia is considering keeping assault weapons armories in its schools in case of a shooting.

    Teabagger High.

  • Tim||

    My school had a "locker" it was full of confiscated superballs, Mad Magazines and stuff.

  • Steve G||

    No way in hell anyone w/ half a brain would grab something from that locker when the time came. Good way to get shot by every wanna be hero or SWAT member... redundancy intended.

  • WTF||

    Actually, I think you'd be okay, since SWAT tends to stay outside until the shooting is over.

  • pan fried wylie||

    Except, once you take down the shooter and the swat rolls in, you're the only one left standing holding a gun.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Once you end the threat, you put that gun down, regardless if it is your handgun or the school's rifle.

  • Steve G||

    Unless whilst attempting to end the threat, you encounter another 'good guy' with less than full trigger control. Think Zamudio's story at the Giffords shooting.
    I'm all for concealed carry, but VERY judicious use when/if the time comes.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Which is a completely different issue than standing over dead bodies with a gun in your hand when SWAT rolls in.

    ...but VERY judicious use when/if the time comes.

    Uhh... duh? This would also the case if you knew with metaphysical certainty that no good guys also have guns. The idea that you shouldn't always be judicious when shooting people seems pretty odd and completely separate from the issue of milling around with a gun in your hand.

  • Steve G||

    I guess that's my point, you don't know with any certainty how any shooting scenario will play out. You seem sure it'll be straightforward: nutjob comes in and starts shooting right outside the SRO's office, you reach in the cabinet for assault rifle and quickly dispatch the perp and set the gun down long before cops show up. Reality is a little more complex. Sometimes the last thing these situations need is someone grabbing that gun and rushing down the hall into their very own FPS fantasy. They're just as likely to get cracked over the skull with a bronze bust of lincoln as they are to being actually useful to the situation.

  • Steve G||

    Yes, with sharpshooters looking in windows. Try to imagine their restraint if they had a fleeting opportunity to take out a civilian carrying an assault rifle.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Teabagger High is over in Dogdick, Ga - Paul Broun's crazy snake-handling Fundie Crationist district.

  • WTF||

    BUSHPIGS!!111!!!CHRISTFAGS!!111!!!
    TEABAGGERZ!!!11!!!!

  • Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!||

    Tolerance

    /94 purity test score

  • db||

    The Wall Street Journal has a table of government furlough data by department. While the total n
    umber of workers seems low (only about 2 million? I saw numbers of around 4 million quoted here), it shows an interesting tendency. When sorted by percent furloughed, it gives a look at what is considered "essential" activity by our government.

    Topping the list of percent remaining at work are Veterans Affairs, Homeland Security, Justice, Social Security, and Transportation.

    The IRS ranks very low, with 91% furloughed. As reviled as that agency is, it says something that raising revenue ranks lower than handing out money (SSA) when it comes to deciding who to furlough.

  • Brett L||

    Well, They leave out the 3M Armed Forces employees.

  • Ted S.||

    Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing has its own army?

    Gotta protect all the Scotch Tape and Post-it Notes, I suppose. ;-)

  • Brett L||

    I think they found the Pinkerton's to expensive and insourced.

  • Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!||

    Awesome - maybe I should apply... "You may call me Field Marshal of the Adhesives".

  • Brett L||

    "Send in the Duct Tape Brigsade!"

    --"Aww... They always get to go first when there's a problem."

  • Bobarian||

    Because Duct Tape can fix anything!

  • Cascadian Ephor Xenocles||

    Probably because none of them were ever going to be furloughed.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Well, they can collect that money anytime. But the checks have to go out on time.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Plus they are putting zero thought into saving money when deciding what to close. I'm actually surprised they didn't furlough more people from sending out checks, because that would be a function visible to the public.

  • Loki||

    I'm actually surprised they didn't furlough more people from sending out checks, because that would be a function visible to the public.

    It would be highly visible, yes, but would piss people off a hell of a lot more than not being able to visit parks and monuments.

    Not being able to visit the Grand Canyon is an inconvenience (and it's not like it's peak tourist season now anyway), but not getting their check? "OH HELLS NO! GET MY PITCHFORK AND MY TORCH!"

  • UnCivilServant||

    I'd love to see and angry mob of seniors and 'disabled' people surround the capital with torches and pitchforks, that'd be great! Shut down the SSA!

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I know it would piss them off. That's the point, because it would make it easier to get support for expanding the funding.

  • gaijin||

    The IRS ranks very low, with 91% furloughed.

    I wonder if this would be the case had the shutdown taken place in the Spring (which of course wouldn't happen given the budget year)

  • Auric Demonocles||

    My sister recently started working at the VA, and she said that everyone there is still working, though she's not sure if she'll get paid for her next round of drill.

  • Matrix||

    not all people who are still working would be considered "essential". They are just paid out of non-appropriated funds and other sources.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

  • db||

    I had basically no reaction. The worst thing that I can imagine happening to me as a result of the shutdown is my ATF Forms 5320.20 don't get approved and sent back to me so I have to leave my machineguns at home when I go to Knob Creek next weekend.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    Looks like NICS will continue to operate, luckily.

  • gaijin||

    what is a NICS?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Navy police who hunt down fugitive dyslexics.

  • db||

    Hnads where I can SEE them, DIRTBAG!!

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    National Instant Check System, required for firearm purchases from FFLs and some other transfers depending on the state.

  • Tim||

    How long before Greenpeace causes an oil spill?

  • Ted S.||

    If non-government actors raided a Greenpeace ship the way Greenpeace does with oil platforms and whaling ships, I can only imagine what the reaction would be.

  • Restoras||

    I am looking forward to seeing the Rainbow Warrior being mysteriously torpedoed.

  • The DerpRider||

    +1 limpet mine.

  • Not an Economist||

    I believe France sunk one of their ships. Checks Wikipedia. Yep I was right. The French sunk the first Rainbow Warrior

  • Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!||

    And their female agent managed to get knocked up in prison, and thus forced a release under all the "compassionate" laws in force. That was effing brilliant.

  • tarran||

    It's not brilliant; half the female nukes aboard the Lincoln managed that trick before the 98 deployment.

  • Raven Nation||

    Even though Armageddon was a pretty bad flick, that scene near the beginning with BW driving golf balls onto the Greenpeace ship is pretty funny.

  • Brett L||

    Didn't the Russians just arrest a bunch of them for harrassing an oil platform?

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Show me on the schematic where the Greenpeace guys touched you, lol

    lamelamerlamestjokes.com

  • Brett L||

    They were probably trying to stop it from laying pipe.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Reports of a “sex jihad” in Syria may be a hoax.

    Teases.

  • waffles||

    The whole point was to get their dumb and violent young men to go to Syria and die looking for the mythical sexy jihadess? That's pretty smart. But disappointing.

  • Tejicano||

    I wonder if Cleveland has a sister city in Syria - and what their football team might have to do with this...

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Act as pall bearers after they get shot?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    No, the closest sister city is Alexandria, Egypt.

  • Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!||

    Talk about a let down...

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    IRS scandal means bad news for Obama
    ...Fifty-three percent think the IRS broke the law by targeting the Tea Party and other conservative groups like the voter-integrity outfit True The Vote; only 24% disagreed. But only 17% think it is even somewhat likely that anyone will be charged, while 74% think that criminal charges are unlikely....

    ...Beyond that, the Wall Street Journal's James Taranto has begun calling President Obama "President Asterisk," saying that IRS efforts to weaken his opposition in the run-up to the 2012 election devalue Obama's victory the way illegal steroid use devalues an athlete's record-book standing. Taranto writes that this puts Obama in a situation that is in some ways worse than Nixon after Watergate: "We now know that government corruption -- namely IRS persecution of dissenters -- was a factor in Obama's re-election.

    To be sure, Obama himself has not, at least so far, been implicated in the IRS wrongdoing as Nixon ultimately was in Watergate. On the other hand, Nixon's re-election victory was so overwhelming that no one could plausibly argue Watergate was a necessary condition for it. The idea that Obama could not have won without an abusive IRS is entirely plausible."...

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    That phony scandal has legs.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    PB, I have to say I admire your dedication to that particular Dem talking point. You're almost as good as the "they hacked" guy in the Atlantic comment section.

  • WTF||

    BUSHPIGS!!111!!!CHRISTFAGS!!111!!!
    TEABAGGERZ!!!11!!!!

  • Tejicano||

    And, un realistic as it probably is, I hope it leads to a "phony" impeachment.

  • Loki||

  • VG Zaytsev||

    IRS scandal means bad news for Obama

    No it doesn't.

    The media will cover his ass and it won't hurt him one bit.

  • Loki||

    ...Fifty-three percent think the IRS broke the law by targeting the Tea Party and other conservative groups like the voter-integrity outfit True The Vote; only 24% disagreed. But only 17% think it is even somewhat likely that anyone will be charged, while 74% think that criminal charges are unlikely....

    IOW, most people pretty much know that the government is completely corrupt and laws are for us little people, not our elected and bureacratic overlords. I think the bigger problem at this point is, how many of those 74% who think that criminal charges are unlikely are completely OK with living under a corrupt morrally bankrupt kleptocracy? Probably a lot.

  • Rasilio||

    While I agree it is a real scandal, and definately involved illegal actions on the part of at least some IRS Management and likely some administration officials I think extending the impact of this to say that without it his reelection was in doubt is giving it's impact WAY too much credit

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Palo Alto’s city council voted unanimously in favor of a new proposal requiring that new homes come equipped with electric car charging stations.

    In the pocket of Big Watt.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    I wonder how many on the council have electric car charging stations at home.

  • DontShootMe||

    Nobody on the council owns cars, they ride around in chauffeured limousines.

  • Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!||

    Not waif carried sedan chairs?! I haz disappoint.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    My company has a bunch of these at work. I keep wondering why they won't pay for my gas.

  • mr simple||

    They know you can make it to a gas station when you need to. Those with electric cars are lucky to make it to work and back on a charge.

  • Tonio||

    Meh. Depends on how far you live from work, or more precisely what your daily mileage is.

    It doesn't help us to spread FUD about this; the technology's own limitations speak for themselves.

    "Public" charging stations enable low-mileage drivers to live without home charging stations if they are prudent with their driving.

  • mr simple||

    It's just a joke, guy, settle down. I'm not making these claims on the evening news or anything.

  • UnCivilServant||

    They should be metered and charge the owner's account alongside the car.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    They should be, but they aren't.

  • gaijin||

    Watt the fuck?!

  • Zeb||

    What makes a "charging station"? Isn't that just a 220 V outlet? Or do they want to wire every new residential development with 3 phase 480 V?

  • Brett L||

    I'm pretty sure they run it off the line in front of the main circuit breaker to the house, so they may actually be doing that.
    Although I suppose 240Vx100A is possible. There's no way that can charge a Volt in 4 hours, though.

  • Zeb||

    I don't know much about how things are wired in dense developments because I live in the woods literally at the end of the line, but it seems to me that if every house is going to have to have an extra 100 A capacity, they are going to need to do a lot of upgrades on the power lines.

  • Brett L||

    And the plants and switching stations.

  • Steve G||

    and solar panelz! oh wait...

  • Zeb||

    Yeah and build a bunch more coal or NG plants.

    Electric cars are pointless as long as they have to plug in.

  • Cdr Lytton||

    I'm pretty sure they run it off the line in front of the main circuit breaker to the house

    I'm not a sparky but coming off the line before the house disconnect seems to me to be a big no-no.

    Selection of chargers from Leviton, including a 9.6kW (240V x 40A) one, although the Volt is limited to 3.3kW charging on the car side.

    http://www.leviton.com/OA_HTML.....site=10251

  • Brett L||

    Huh. I would have thought it would draw more amperage than an electric on-demand water heataer.

  • Tonio||

    IIRC they will take AC current at any standard voltage. They have a proprietary connector for 480, not sure about 220, and standard connectors for 110.

    Brett is correct about the charge times. Basically 110 is only good for super low-mileage drivers or for topping off overnight.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Electric car bumper sticker:

    Powered By Dirty Coal

  • Rich||

    Many elderly veterans, some in wheelchairs, broke through the barriers set up around the memorial, as police, park service employees, and tourists looked on.

    So much for The Rule of Law.

  • gaijin||

    Many elderly veterans, some in wheelchairs,

    Anarchy unfolds...in slow motion

  • RBS||

    As they were leaving the Country Kitchen Buffet.

  • Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!||

    Bite your tongue!

    /Cracker Barrel

  • l0b0t||

    Mmmm... hash brown casserole and chicken-fried steak option with the Grampa's Big Breakfast. There are no Cracker Barrels in NYC (or Waffle Houses) but we have been taking our daughter down to Sesame Place in PA every week and there is a wonderful CB nearby; it's win-win.

  • Bardas Phocas||

    Call out the National Guard. Put the beatdown on these anarchistic/terroristic, extremist, radical recalcistrants.

  • Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!||

    Have you ever seen the DC Guard?

    shudder

  • Ted S.||

    Many elderly veterans, some in wheelchairs, broke through the barriers set up around the memorial,

    I guess those Hoverounds really will take you anywhere.

  • Rich||

    Are they still available during The Shutdown?

  • Ted S.||

    I suppose if you pay for them yourself they are.

    AHAHAHAHAHA!!!111!!!

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

  • Brett L||

    The same insurance as the people who manage us? Unthinkable!

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Now, I am in Massachusetts, but my time at the bar last night seems to confirm that the Dems propaganda is working. I heard a lot of people blaming the Republicans, several people repeating the line that "Obamacare is a LAW!" (which doesn't seem to apply to the debt limit, I guess), and several references to continuing resolutions instead of the debt ceiling. Low information voters seem to be buying the "Rethuglicans are obstrucintating just to hold the country hostage!" crap.

    I couldn't listen to more because it was hard enough to hear the trivia questions over the sounds of the gunfire, explosions, and babies wailing from the war-torn street outside. Plus I was battling the effects of the illicit moonshine the bar was serving me, distilled in their toilet free from government oversight, which was making me go both blind and deaf. At least the lack of any healthcare in the country will prevent me from regaining my sight and having to see the alt-text-less picture.

  • Spartacus||

    You might mention to all those concerned with respecting this LAW that the administration has already chosen to ignore its explicit provisions at least three times (tax breaks for federal exchanges, implementation delay for businesses, exemptions for congressional staff). Yep, sounds like respect for the LAW to me.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I am not sure where that line came from, but given the various places I heard it, it's got to be the new talking point, even if they don't care about any other law that's on the books.

  • Restoras||

    Dude, Massachusetts. It's come a long way from Cradle of the Revolution to King George's Wet Dream.

  • gaijin||

    ^this.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Give it to Canada, I say. It'll improve both countries.

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    You stop right now. You guys can take Quebec if we are going to get Mass. You want a welfare state/province, Quebec is the mother of teet sucking.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    But think of all the sweet, sweet maple syrup. Might be worth it.

  • UnCivilServant||

    Don't take the deal, we don't want the frechie-canukistanis! It's the worst of both worlds.

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    You keep quiet and let the deal proceed.

  • Zeb||

    No way man. Don't trust Canadian maple syrup. They put antifreeze in that shit. Stick with NH or VT.

  • #||

    If we can take the western provinces minus BC and you take vermont as well, that may just be worth it. It's only be two senate seats. Can't be too bad.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Pro Lib, speaking of the bar trivia, one of last night's answers was The Odd Couple.

  • Bobarian||

    Toilets are for making wine, not moonshine.

    Amateur.

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    In Austin, only dude I talked to at bar last night was almost on exact page as me. I didn't push it to full libertarian mode. But we were both happy that a shutdown was happening. Made me feel 0.00001% better than I used to.

  • Snark Plissken||

    Reports of a “sex jihad” in Syria may be a hoax.

    "I'm going to going to fuck the Jew out of you. You want to fuck me like Israel fucks my country? Fuck me you Jew bastard! Fuck me like Israel fucks my people! Show me the promised land. You circumcised fuck!"

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    The penis doesn't care about race, or creed, or color. The penis wants to go back to his homeland!

  • Tonio||

    Um, circumcision is mandatory for muslims, too.

  • Snark Plissken||

    Tell that to Larry David.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    The Rational Male
    ...I’m both scared and excited that The Rational Male might be included in this reach into the MSM. I’ve of course repeatedly written about the inherent dangers that red pill ideologies will only be vilified and ridiculed in a public forum controlled by the feminine imperative, but that’s something I’m going to have to come to terms with if red pill thought is to ever be taken seriously. I worry about how the impact of this book will affect my personal life, my career, and probably a lot of other aspects of my life that I haven’t yet considered....

  • gaijin||

    In my career I have been responsible for the concepts and branding of many successful products and projects,

    Don Draper writes a book?

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    The French Ministry of Veteran Affairs has suggested that the history of French soldiers who were executed for desertion in WWI and were labeled as “cowards” in history books be reviewed. The ministry recommends that the French government issue a “formal declaration” clearing the hundreds of soldiers of dishonor.

    Can we retroactively shoot the idiot generals and politicians who charged them into machine guns?

  • db||

    I don't know about France, but America goes to war for Freedom. If you're too much of a coward to walk erect into a hail of 8mm bullets for Freedom, you probably deserve to be executed, or at least you shouldn't be allowed to vote.

  • Brett L||

    To be fair, the Marine strategy of running full tilt, screaming their lungs out seemed to give the machine gunners pause. OTOH, the French and British had done a really good job of killing the accurate machine gunners by the time the US got there.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    accurate machine gunners

    Er, I thought the point of an MG was to be inaccurate.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    Oh, never mind, I mean imprecise

  • Brett L||

    Nice. I will use this if I ever have to teach a science class, because it brings it home way better than the stupid examples they use.

  • db||

    There are two points, used in different circumstances:

    1. Increase hit probability when target position is varying rapidly or when multiple targets can be persuaded to stop advancing with a knowledge of higher hit probability.

    2. Increase rate of hits when a single bullet's energy is insufficient for target neutralization.

  • Brett L||

    Did those early MGs ever suffer from a lack of single bullet stopping power? If so, I'm pretty sure John Moses Browning (PBUH) fixed that problem.

  • db||

    Not as such, but different circumstances, as I said. A controlled three round burst with a 3" group makes a 9mm more useful at intermediate ranges.

  • Zeb||

    No, I think the point is to spray bullets all over the place. Being inaccurate is just a side effect.

  • UnCivilServant||

    They tried and executed a dead pope, so why not?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) says that the government sent “goons” to stop WWII veterans from visiting the WWII memorial in Washington D.C.,

    Louis Gohmert was one of those goons - I saw his shiny dome on the news.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    A school district in Georgia is considering keeping assault weapons armories in its schools in case of a shooting.

    If you read the article, you'll see that the plan is to buy two rifles and put them in a safe that only the SRO can access. Why are you guys following the media's habit of referring to any collection of multiple guns as "armory" or "arsenal"?

    I think the plan is stupid for myriad reasons, and full-auto rifles are totally unnecessary for this purpose, but that's another discussion.

  • Restoras||

    I am going to go with a local Resource Officer (cop) sees an opportunity to upgrade the weapons he has access to, at tax payer expense.

  • Tejicano||

    Tupla you dipshit. Where the fuck do you get the idea that these are full-auto rifles?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    Ah, these are semiauto variants. I assumed they were full auto from the $6000 price that the district would pay and the fact they're labeled "law enforcement" on Colt's site.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    $6000 for an M4gery? What the fuck?

  • Tejicano||

    If you can find me a source for Colt-made transferable (the only thing a non-LEO group could have), full-auto AR's for only $6,000 a pop and I would buy a rack full of them.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    The SRO is law enforcement.

  • Tejicano||

    SRO = school resource officer

    Nope. Not LEO. Not for the purposes of procuring and possesing full-auto weapons.

    Wanna try again?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    Every SRO I've ever encountered or heard of was a real cop from a local LEA. Maybe somewhere there's a non-cop SRO, but I doubt it.

  • Tonio||

    Sorry, Texan, but I'm with Tulpa on this one. SRO's are LEO's from the local constabulary who are assigned to the schools. Not even Bloomberg's school system has its own po-po.

  • RBS||

    Tulpa is right.

  • RBS||

    Of course, your larger point, that they shouldn't possess full auto weapons is probably true. You don't get to be the SRO by being the top guy in the department.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    What the heck does the requirements list for SRO positions look like? "Proficiency in searching preteen underwear"

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    And of course that meanst they're not assault rifles.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    and full-auto rifles are totally unnecessary for this purpose

    The Colt 6920 M4 carbine is a semi-automatic weapon.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    Yeah, I read more carefully this time.

    But $6000 for a semiauto AR15?

  • Citizen Nothing||

    They should spend that money on red-light cameras.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    RLCs pay for themselves... and I've never heard of a camera shooting a dog, outside of cheesy Duran Duran videos.

  • trshmnstr||

    No, it's only those unnecessary assault cameras that shoot dogs, but those cost at least $10k.

  • db||

    MGs available to law enforcement don't cost any more than the semi auto versions. The only difference between a semi and full auto AR pattern rifle is one drilled hole, a little less metal, and five parts, only one of which is not just a modified version of a semi-auto version.

  • Tejicano||

    "available to law enforcement " - there's the rub. These would be available to teachers/school admin. There is just about no legal way these could be full-auto. And the only way to get them would be through legal channels.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    They'd be locked in a safe activated by the SRO's fingerprints. The only way teachers could get access would be by cracking the safe or stealing them from the SRO.

  • db||

    Sure there is. Have the school district obtain an FFL and pay the annual SOT to be a machinegun dealer. Then the teachers, as employees, can have access to them.

    The simpler way would be to deputize the teachers under certain circumstances.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    And I've never figured out why any LEO needs full auto in a rifle. Unless you're very well trained and firing in short bursts, full-auto turns a lightweight rifle into a marginally controllable bullet hose.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    It makes their dicks hard.

  • Briggie||

    Most guns I have seen fire on full-auto are firing into the air after a couple seconds.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    But $6000 for a semiauto AR15?

    When you get used to spending other people's money...

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Palo Alto’s city council voted unanimously in favor of a new proposal requiring that new homes come equipped with electric car charging stations.

    Great, tie everyone down to the first iteration of the technology. Well played, Silicon Valley.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    Sounds like you're bitter about having the 8-track player embedded into your fireplace by the previous owner?

  • Jon Lester||

    I would love that.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    It ate my copy of Tom Petty's first album.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    You ate An American Girl?

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    My fireplace did.

  • db||

    Sell the property to hipsters for a 1000% profit.

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    Awesome. Add some dead weight loss on top of the still-not-really-popped real estate bubble. That'll help things.

  • SugarFree||

    Dinosaur Erotica

    Azog stood, back to the wall, clad only in damp buckskins, waiting for the beast to slash at her torso until she lay helpless and bleeding on the damp cave floor. She wondered if it would kill her first, or if her limbs would be sliced from her body as the beast gorged on her.

    Instead, it reached out with a classed hand to snatch at her damp animal hide as it clung to one shoulder. Azog felt the kiss of sharp claws against her skin as the hide slid from her shoulder and exposed on naked, heaving breast. The raptor paused, curious, sniffing at her as she pressed desperately against the wall.

    A reptilian tongue, stiff and hot, dashed out to lick at the tender, naked flesh so suddenly exposed. Azog gasped at the touch, then gradually relaxed as her body warmed to the intoxicating sensation of the beast's flesh against her own.

    She wasn't sure if her sudden arousal was because of her earlier thwarted climax in the cool stream, or if she was just desperate for one last pleasant sensation before being torn limb from limb by the great, scaly beast. Either way, Azog relished the rasp of its tongue, hot and rough, on her sensitive skin.
  • Tim||

    Flaccid. Try writing from the dinosaur's point of view.

  • trshmnstr||

    ROAAAAR ROAAAR ROAR roar, ROAAR ROAR ROAR.
    Squee squ squee-ROAAR CHOMP! Stomp stomp stomp ROAR stomp. ROAAR!

  • SugarFree||

    "I don't care what our parents think, Azog. Run away with me." Grrgr's talons clicked loudly as he paced across the drawing room floor.

    "But what about the hunting lands your grandfather left you in the will, my love? You will be penniless," Azog said.

    "I don't care about hunting lands or my father's money. I just want to be with you. I want to keep our egg clutch safe with my defensive displays. It's only your name I want to squawk at a deafening volume every new morn." Grrgr rushed to Azog and buried his tears in the warm, tender meat of her bosom.

    "Yes, Grrgr! Yes, my love! Fly me away from the small-minded people that cannot accept our love." Grrgr tore himself away from her and walked to the roaring fireplace.

    "Azog. My love. My only love. I have keep a secret from you. It is so terrible I thought if it was revealed our relationship could never survive it." Azog ran to Grrgr, her long gown sweeping the floor. She threw her arms around him, his splendid plumage tickling her desire.

    "Nothing could make me leave you, Grrgr," she wailed. "Not now. Not ever!" Grrgr pecked absently at her forearm, drawing blood. Azog couldn't even feel it.

    "Azog. I am flightless. These feathers are only for courting display."

    Azog's gasp of dismay broke his rapidly beating heart.

  • gaijin||

    IS the beast male or female? I don;t know whether to reject this as rape or embrace it as same sex love.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Tyrannosaurus Sex
    Velociravager
    Tricerabottoms

    And so on...

  • KDN||

    She needs to hook up with the graphic artist responsible for this. Her covers lack realism and that guy has dinosaur orgasm down pat.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Didn't dinosaurs have cloaca?

  • SugarFree||

    Only if you believe all that evolution nonsense.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Other than that, her science checks out.

  • Tonio||

    Um, no.

  • seguin||

    Shhh, shhh. Shut your mouth, it's dino sex. Shut your mouth. Shhhh shut your mouth. I said shut your mouth, it's dino sex.

  • Tonio||

    And a real geek would know that dinos were warm-blooded, unlike reptiles which are cold-blooded. Dinos are more closely related to modern birds than they are to lizards.

  • mr simple||

    Isn't Azog traditionally a male name? Not to other anyone...

  • INFORG||

    LOL

    Mating with the Raptor (Beast Mating Erotica) [Kindle Edition]

    47 of 59 people found the following review helpful
    2.0 out of 5 stars Fiction August 19, 2013
    By A Dinosaur-Shaped Car
    Format:Kindle Edition

    Warning: potentially misleading title. This book is a fictional erotic story, not an instruction manual like I thought it was when I ordered it.

  • ||

    The French Ministry of Veteran Affairs has suggested that the history of French soldiers who were executed for desertion in WWI and were labeled as “cowards” in history books be reviewed. The ministry recommends that the French government issue a “formal declaration” clearing the hundreds of soldiers of dishonor.

    They were just ahead of the culture in practicing abject cowardice. Today, they're clearly heroes.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    I think they can be forgiven for being angry about Robert Nivelle's scheme. He was a jackoff who managed to unlearn whatever other French generals had learned in the early years of the war.

  • Rich||

    Hourslong effort to sign up for health coverage ends emptyhanded

    Most of this adventure can't be blamed on "overloaded websites".

    A sample: On the contact page of healthcare.gov, there’s a tab that says “Find local help.” I entered my ZIP code and pulled up the names of several places that should have resources. First on the list was ... “OK, ma’am,” said a nice lady at 9:51 a.m., “we have not been trained yet."

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    I have to admit (because I am always truthful) the rollout has been needlessly buggy.

    (I worked for Oracle and have been involved with many implementations.)

  • Live Free or Diet||

    (because I am always truthful)

    Worse if true, by what I've seen.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    But where do you work now, Plug? (I'd like to know what to short.)

  • Mike M.||

    Dickhead works for Slate, and he never gets tired of spinning the most absurd lies about himself.

  • Lord at War||

    Hmmm... Team Blue, works for Slate, lies about being a libertarian while fellating all Democrats, and thinks he understands economics.

    Palin's Buttplug is obviously Dave Weigel.

  • Tonio||

    I have to admit [gibberish] the rollout has been needlessly buggy.

    Trans: It's an abject failure. I was so wrong.

    This is delicious.

  • ||

    Reports of a “sex jihad” in Syria may be a hoax.

    Reports of easily available sex are always a hoax.

    :-(

  • Live Free or Diet||

    Reports of easily available sex are always a hoax.

    You didn't come of age in the late '60s and '70s, huh?

  • Tonio||

    That was just cruel, LFoD. We came of age at one of those special times and places in history. It is difficult for people from other cohorts to believe how wonderful things were back in the day.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    Nowhere near as nutty as the New Republic article salivating over the prospect of dissolving the legislature.

  • Restoras||

    Well that is the Progressive Dream. It is the only thing standing in the way of ushering in the New Dawn Great Society.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    Flipping from 9 to 10 in the little Road To Serfdom comic book that GM produced back in the 50s. Only 8 pages to go.

  • WTF||

    Is It Time To Abolish Congress?

    I'm sure the proglodytes will feel the same way the next time there's a Republican in the White House.

  • Hillary's Clitdong||

    The veterans reportedly broke down barricades...

    TERRORISTS!

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    It's that friggin Bonus Army all over again. Does Obama have the courage of Herbert Hoover?

  • Restoras||

    Does he have a MacArthur to do his bidding?

  • UnCivilServant||

    Please, Hoover had to face able-bodied veterans. Obama will cower well away from these wheelchair bound senior citizens.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    We need a man like Herbert Hoover again.
    -- Archie Bunker

  • UnCivilServant||

    He did a superb translation of 'De Re Metallica' into English. He was also a mining Engineer by trade. Donno how he ended up president.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Hoover was to FDR as Bush was to Obama -- the John the Baptist who paved the way for the Messiah.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Obama is the luckiest MFing politician in US history. The economy completely imploded on Bush's watch DURING the campaign while his opponent picked a birdbrain Wasilly Governor - easy win.

    Then the GOP picked the father of O'Romneycare as his opponent - an overpriviliged Masshole prick - easy win.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Pretty much.

    The thing that everyone misses about McCains pick of Palin is that he did it as a favor to his corrupt friends in the Alaska GOP - to get rid of an irritating reformer.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    "Donno how he ended up president."

    Peter Principle.

  • creech||

    They kicked Tojo's ass and creamed SS Panzer divisions, so Our Glorious Leader has every right to be scared, even if they are now 90 years old.

  • Brett L||

    Just to follow up on the Melissa Alexander thread for those who've jumped here. Sullum essentially presented the defense's case. See Footnote 5 starting on page 9 for the rest of the story.

    The Defendant had not been living in the marital home for the two months leading up to the shooting.
    ...
    Rico Gray Sr. moved to the living room where his children were. Subsequently, the Defendant emerged from the master bedroom and went into the garage where her car was parked. The Defendant testified she was trying to leave the residence but could not get the garage door to open. (The Court notes that despite the Defendant's claim she was in fear for her life at that point and trying to get away from Rico Gray she did not leave the house through the back or front doors which were unobstructed. Additionally, the garage door had worked previously and there was no evidence presented to support her claim.)
    ...
    cont'd

  • Brett L||

    The Defendant returned to the kitchen with the firearm in her hand and pointed it in the direction of all three Victims. Rico Gray Sr. put his hands in the air. The Defendant shot at Rico Gray Sr., nearly missing his head. The bullet traveled through the kitchen wall and into the ceiling in the living room. The Victims fled the residence and immediately called 911. The Defendant stayed in the marital home and at no point called 911.
    ...
    Shortly after Rico Gray Sr.'s deposition, the Defendant drove to Rico Gray Sr. 's new house where his two children [] were staying (not the Defendant's home). While there, the Defendant physically attacked Rico Gray Sr., causing injury to Rico Gray Sr.'s face. Again, Rico Gray Sr. immediately called 911 after the incident and the Defendant did not. The Defendant was arrested on new charges and her bond was revoked.

    Obviously an open-and-shut case of railroading a brave woman standing against her abuser still?

  • UnCivilServant||

    nearly missing his head

    Does that sound like a hit to anyone else?

  • Brett L||

    Yes. Also, I have no information on the "nearness" to Mr. Gray or his two kids. Nor any information about how well she shoots to judge whether it was an intentional miss or a standard effort.

  • SugarFree||

  • Ted S.||

    You can twit your pretty little head off, but nobody has to read it.

    Doesn't everybody just scroll past your walls of text anyway?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    They just scroll past his links.

  • Bobarian||

    Since they normally never work.

  • ||

    Who are you?

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Yes, but people will then see I'm following you, and will wonder which odd fetish led to that decision.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    I'm Follower 3! I think I'll get that on my license plate.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Correction: I'm Leader 3!

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Who is No. 2?

  • robc||

    Antiquarian map collector?

    One more for the reasonable filter.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Mercator damn you, robc!

  • RBS||

    I already regret my decision to follow you.

  • ||

    This is all just a phishing scam to out our pseudonyms.

  • SweatingGin||

    That's what I'm afraid of.

  • robc||

    I followed, may God have mercy on my soul.

  • SugarFree||

    For now, I'm only live-tweeting the shutdown.

  • robc||

    Hopefully you will have a few years work ahead of you.

  • SugarFree||

    I'll outsource it to an intern after a few weeks.

  • Rich||

    Obamacare Just Gave Me A Death Sentence

    Who needs ‘death panels’? This works just fine.

    One guy who won't be sitting next to Michelle at the SOTU Address.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    That extra $4000/mo will be better spent by Our Betters in govt, so STFU. FYTW.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    Uh this is bullshit. First of all, none of the tax number he give add up. Even if he were paying the Cadillac plan excise, you only pay that on the overage, not the full cost of the plan. I also find it very hard to believe that someone making Gk is paying anything close to a 33% tax rate.

    And what does his private insurer cutting coverage for particular treatment they no longer consider medically effective have to do with Obama Care?

  • Stormy Dragon||

    Test: $ 47 k $47 k $47k

  • Brett L||

    I agree, that story stinks.

  • RBS||

    My favorite piece of OMG!!! SHUTDOWN!!! propaganda was the story of the sick old lady trying to complete her bucket list but couldn't get into the Grand Canyon.

  • Rich||

    Just roll your wheelchair through the barricades, Lady!

  • UnCivilServant||

    Shoulda done it sooner. The hole in the ground has been around a long time.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Actually, the Grand Canyon was a WPA project. It was dug by 100,000 out-of-work Okies in 1937.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    "Let me be clear, Colorado River: you didn't erode that!"

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Ok. That's funny.

  • Snark Plissken||

    Nice one.

  • trshmnstr||

    WDATPDIM?

  • ||

    How the hell do you "close" a memorial that's a public open space, due to lack of funds? It's a fucking monument. You can walk through it on a stroll down the Mall. That's like saying that you have to post guards around a statue to protect it, and then when you have no money to pay the guards, you thorw a sheet over it and post guards to keep people from looking at it.

    Would it cost more money to not have the barricades? WTF?

  • UnCivilServant||

    They actually spent more money taking down websites and blocking off outdoor, unstaffed monuments than it would cost to just walk away and leave them as is because the administration ordered blame messages to be put up pointing the finger at congress like a petulent child.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    They actually spent more money taking down websites and blocking off outdoor, unstaffed monuments than it would cost to just walk away and leave them as is because the administration ordered blame messages to be put up pointing the finger at congress like a petulent child.

    Nail. Head.

  • waffles||

    Exactly. Thuggery in the form of a child's tantrum.

  • Matrix||

    Which takes us back to my post yesterday.

    this is the most impudent and childish president we've ever had.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Exactly. How do you "shut down" and open air memorial? This is pure vindictiveness.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Perhaps there is a public restroom that requires cleaning.

    I lived in France and the massive memorials were always open. Even French women would urinate in full view when no restroom was available. They were not as privileged as our princesses.

  • gaijin||

    They were not as privileged as our princesses.

    Nor as hair free?

  • Matrix||

    pissing in public will get you labeled a sex offender in this FREE country of ours.

  • Tonio||

    Yeah, what Scalar said; they are more "priveleged" (free) in that regard.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    Actually, while the monuments are open, the Park Police have to patrol to prevent people from dancing. Or climbing onto Lincoln and farting in his face, then falling to their deaths after he headbutts them from the grave.

  • Bobarian||

    Lincoln would never headbutt them; he'd declare marshall law and have Union Soldiers shoot them.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    NEW ORLEANS (AP) — A 71-year-old Louisiana prisoner who spent 41 years in solitary confinement and is now dying of cancer was released late Tuesday from prison, his attorneys said.

    http://news.yahoo.com/la-priso.....53299.html

    14th Amendment grounds.

  • UnCivilServant||

    Prison: "We don't want to pay for your cancer treatments, Omummercare is open now, go sign up for that and cost someone else"

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    He will be dead before O'Romneycare kicks in Jan 1.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Jesus you're on fucked up fucker.

  • tarran||

    As I've been telling you guys, he is the Internet equivalent of a homeless guy screaming at a wall, unapproachable not only due to his shrieking, but also due to the noxious & pungent reek of drying urine that is slowly dissolving the rags that are his pants, with a brain and liver that are both practically destroyed from the alcohol that is his sole nutritional intake.

    There is nothing to debate, just a gibbering mess of something that was once human.

  • Restoras||

    A+

  • KDN||

    The guards realized that trying to make use of the exchanges is a harsher punishment than solitary and sent him on his way.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    So the electronic news banner at the main downtown intersection of my burg this morning proclaims: "George Clooney hopes government shutdown ends soon".

  • UnCivilServant||

    Who?

    Oh, some hollywood prostitute. Shut up dancing monkey!

  • UnCivilServant||

    *Above comments directed at Mr Clooney, not CN

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Actually, I AM a dancing monkey.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Thy will be done, George, on Earth as it is in Heaven.

  • Rich||

    Treasury taking final steps to avoid default

    The Treasury Department has begun using the last set of accounting maneuvers at its disposal to allow the government to keep paying its bills

    Emphasis added. Truly reassuring.

    Lew reiterated that if the debt ceiling is not raised by Oct. 17 the government will not be able to [make] payments to ... Social Security recipients.

    You thought barricade-busting veterans was something?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    The government is entirely capable of paying all its bills without raising the debt ceiling. All they have to do is follow Pro Lib's advice.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

  • Brett L||

    Too many Matt Lob comments?

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

  • robc||

    Apparently a Houston restaurant has a new Schaub burger: Pick six toppings and you have to pay dearly for it.

  • Brett L||

    Zing!

  • Matrix||

    In regards to the current budgetary situation, James Madison weighs in...
    Federalist Papers #58

    The House of Representatives cannot only refuse, but they alone can propose, the supplies requisite for the support of government. They, in a word, hold the purse that powerful instrument by which we behold, in the history of the British Constitution, an infant and humble representation of the people gradually enlarging the sphere of its activity and importance, and finally reducing, as far as it seems to have wished, all the overgrown prerogatives of the other branches of the government. This power over the purse may, in fact, be regarded as the most complete and effectual weapon with which any constitution can arm the immediate representatives of the people, for obtaining a redress of every grievance, and for carrying into effect every just and salutary measure.

  • mustard||

    Says the dickless coward who ran away and let the White House burn.

  • UnCivilServant||

    It's only a building that's been so tainted and oft remodeled that we're overdue for another burning.

    When are the British coming to sack DC again?

  • Raven Nation||

    Fairly soon, apparently:

    http://i.imgur.com/E3BY0Vs.jpg

  • Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!||

    I invited both the RAF Regiment and The 1 and 4 Scots...they all refused :(

  • Jordan||

    Anybody who lets the White House burn is a hero.

  • mustard||

    You'd sing a different tune if it were your precious piece of atmosphere-controlled paper in the Archives.

    Rational people care more about houses and people than raggedy-ass overcapitalized papers that suck up taxpayer money to keep from rotting to shreds.

  • Jordan||

    ...wut?

  • trshmnstr||

    This kinda blows the whole "unprecedented shortcut of the system" line out of the water.

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    Good one. Way more explicit than I was expecting.

    A big in-your-face to the people who argue "these people thing they can pick and choose which parts of the government to keep". Ya. They can you dumbasses. That's the whole idea.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    I find the juxtaposition of the commenter reactions to the first two stories hilarious.

    Team Red activists force their way into a government facility without permission to protest: Heroes!

    Team Blue activists force their way into a government facility without permission to protest: Terrorists!

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    I find your implication that the different facilities are comparable hilarious.

  • UnCivilServant||

    One important difference, the oil rig is more likely to catch fire and/or explode with the meddling of uneducated econuts, while the memorial is pretty much intert. Also, the memorial doesn't provide fuel and raw materials to industry.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-VA)||

    In the first case they were forcing their way into something that's normally open to the public. In the second case, not.

  • Redmanfms||

    Ahem.

    Say it with me everbody:

    PROG BULLSHIT.

  • SugarFree||

    The Marissa War, Part 7: Warty Hugeman vs. A Lack of Constructive Interpersonal Dialogue: A Warty Hugeman Time Travel Adventure

    Lurching and shambling, you might have mistaken them for merely drunk until you saw a part of them fall off or the wind turned the right way for you smell them. Some force animated them, a hunger. Slow and relentless they came.

    "Hey, asshole… there's more coming down the street." He ducked his head out to see if she was lying. She wasn't. Five metaphors were headed straight for the storefront they were hiding in.

    "Give me a weapon," she demanded for the twentieth time. She shook her time manacles at him.

    "It took me years to get to you Marissa. I'm not about to let you go," he said.

    He checked his ammo again. Twenty-five rounds. He thought about bullets as hard as he could: the shape, the feel, the smell, the weight—he built one from scratch in his mind and then a huge box of them, identical and beautiful. A single round materialized when he open his eyes and his hand shot out to catch it before it hit the ground. It was thought made real. He rolled it in between his fingers and then tossed it into the darkness at the back of the store. Only one and it wasn't even the right caliber. They were going to die.

  • SugarFree||

    "I told you to scrounge for ammo, idiot. There's probably even an extra gun in one of the crates."

    "Shut up, woman, or I'll rape you something to bitch about."

    He stalked off to the back of the store, unzipped his timesuit and began urinating on one of her precious crates. There were dozens of them. The only two he had managed to get open had been empty.

    "If those metaphors get in here, they'll kill me too. You brought me here, asshole."

    Shifting them into Fictional Space was the only way to get the manacles on her. She could plunge into the time stream without a suit, the wiring and circuitry carved into her nervous system by the TechnoPriests of 37th century. Marissa was rebuilt as a living time machine by the Matryoshka Brainarchy to root out and destroy the last pockets of resistance in its known downstream history. But she already had blocks in place to foil their conditioning. When they finished with her, she kicked the TechnoPope in his fashionably large genitals and disappeared. In a temporal pocket to protect her precious upgrades, she destroyed their recursive AI god when it was still dumb matter in the form of Jupiter’s moon, Callisto.

    "I need to take a piss too, you know." She was smirking again. He thought about cutting off her lips to see what kind of face she'd make then. He kicked an empty can over to her.

    "You're a real asshole, Hugeman. When I get away from this, I'm going to go back and cut off your dick when you're a baby and feed it to you."

  • SugarFree||

    "You are terrible at flirting, Marissa." She just screamed at him and struggled to break the manacles again.

    "You'll never get out of them. I had to kidnap three alternate versions of the same genius to build those things. When we get out of Fictional Space, I'm going to have them rip all of the Brainarchy's muck out of you and strand you somewhere."

    "Fuck you," she spat.

    "Somewhere cold and lonely."

    The new pack of metaphors started scratching and tugging at the boards and broken furniture he had piled in front of the door. It was six more hours until he would be able to shift them back to Real Space. Something boring about pulsar alignment. It wouldn't have mattered if he had brought them to some sanitized Historical Drama Zone or Romantic Comedy sub-strata. The only place worse than Allegorical Horror was one of the Cartoon unrealities where broken physics would kill anything Real in seconds. Now that the metaphors were close he could hear what they were all moaning over and over again" "Symbolism." Heavy handed nonsense, Warty thought.

    "I could get us out of here right now," she taunted him. "I don't have the same restrictions as your janky old timesuit. Did you get that thing as a prize in a box of breakfast cereal?"

  • SugarFree||

    Ignoring her, he shot the first metaphor that managed to get its head through. It shrieked and slumped forward, blocked the hole it had made. Twenty-four rounds. At least he kept a mechanical gun with him when he traveled. Nothing on the suit worked, it was in a completely wrong sort of story.

    "Hey, asshole," she said.

    "Shut up."

    "Warty, goddamn it, turn around."

    When he did, he saw the back of the store was gone. A featureless grey wall of nothing was in its place. He walked toward it with his hand outstretched.

    "I wouldn't do that if I were you, asshole," she said. "No unless you want to wank with a hook for a hand from now on."

    "What is this?" he asked, stepping back.

    "Beats me," she said. "But I think we need to get out of here."

    Warty pulled her to her feet by an arm and they both started dismantling the barricade, Marissa doing what she could with her chained hands. He stopped to shoot the remaining metaphors when they presented themselves. In the dim and eternal twilight, he saw the storefronts across the street were gone as well, replaced by grey.

    When they stepped out, Marissa pretended to stumble against him. Face to face, she smiled and then bit him savagely on the cheek. She turned, spat a piece of his face into the street and began running away. He followed her, trying to stop the flow of blood from his wound.

    Warty hadn't felt like this in years. He was falling in love.

    END PART 7, FLIP CASSETTE OVER NOW

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Can I have a Warty "Choose your own adventure", or will every option end in a rape?

  • Stormy Dragon||

    "Have an adventure imposed upon you"

  • Bobarian||

    Rape is the only option.

  • Bobarian||

    The only real options will be in choosing the orifice to be serviced.

  • waffles||

    I would like this in audio format please.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    He was falling in love.

    I hate sweeps.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    He was falling in love.

    I hate sweeps.

    Yeah. It's like a more sentimental version of The Notebook but with more "Hey, asshole...."

  • Tonio||

    Sug, are you posting all of these on you blog thingie? If so, please also post the link (lol) when you post the text.

    I sometimes don't have time during the day to read these, miss some when I'm on vacation or whatever, etc.

  • SugarFree||

    I've been collecting them on their own blog.

    http://wartyhugeman.blogspot.com/

  • Bobarian||

    DON"T GO THERE, IT'S AN NSA TRAP...

    Love the theme song, but what music should it be set to? Gilligan's Isle isn't quite right.

    The Brady Bunch? "Here's a story..."

    Maybe 'Star Trek' or Vader's Death March?

    Oh wait, I know, Andy Griffith!

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

  • Matrix||

    Not that this is not a worthy endeavor... I'm sure most of us would love such an invention. But, perhaps the tax payers should not have to fund this research? Just maybe?

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Already been done. And it sure as fuck didn't cost $1.2M.

  • Tonio||

    But it's the EU - they like room temperature beer (NTTAWWT).

  • Matrix||

    there is plenty wrong with it!

  • ||

    OT: Things have been a bit slow in solo-lawyer-land the past two weeks. So I am thinking of new topics on which to become an expert. Any suggestions?

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Chilling beer in under 45 seconds?

    Being let down by the Cleveland Browns?

    The Golden Girls?

  • ||

    I was thinking more along the lines of legal topics. Sorry not to have been more specific.

  • db||

    Firearms law. There are lots of opportunities there, IMO.

  • ||

    Good suggestion.

  • RBS||

    Administrative Law?

  • BakedPenguin||

    Well, there is probably going to be a large market for legal methods to avoid Obamacare.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Non of those topics is illegal!

  • Andrew S.||

    As a sometimes health care lawyer, there's a reason that Obamacare is occasionally jokingly referred to as the "Health Care Lawyer Full Employment Act" in health care law circles.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Whether banning SugarFree (not from Reason, but from Earth) is permitted under the 1st Amendment?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I think it's required under the Geneva Convention.

  • SugarFree||

    All I've ever done is love you ingrates.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    -Ariel Castro

  • Tonio||

    Privacy law. Enforceability of user agreements where you promise to not sue your phone company if they rat you out to the feds. That sort of thing.

    Also, how to sue government and government officials.

  • RBS||

    Same here, I almost took this bizarre bug attack case just for something to do.

  • ||

    Sounds interesting. I sometimes contract for another attorney and he gets weird stuff. Weirdest was a $6000 water bill, which I did municipal code research for.

  • RBS||

    It sounded interesting until I made a few phone calls and found out she had told 3 different stories to 3 different attorneys. That's the downside to friends knowing you are solo/small firm. Shitty referrals.

  • ||

    You mean you won't do stuff for free, just because you know me? C'mon. Jerk.

  • Rich||

    "If you or a loved one has been injured as a result of the Government shutdown, you may be eligible for financial compensation."

  • Bobarian||

    "you may be eligible for financial compensation."

    Shoved up your ass, a nickel at a time.

  • Brett L||

    Healthcare tax law? You know as much about it as anybody, no matter how little you've studied.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    You're got to prosecute it to find out what's in it.

  • ||

    True.

  • Matrix||

  • Zeb||

    I bet they aren't wild about electric cars either.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    Apparently the panels are being wired so that cutting the main power to the house doesn't cut off the power from the solar panels. If that's the case, the electricians involved were incompetent.

  • tarran||

    No. It's not that...

    You can't deenergize the wires on the roof. Period. IT doesn't matter if there's a breaker on the first floor or on the roof, the wires from the solar panels will be deranged.

    One of the many stupid and dangerous consequences of adopting the green sackcloth and ashes renewable lifestyle..

  • ||

    Nobody wants to be near deranged solar panel wires!

  • Mr. Soul||

    you ever try to watch a shift's worth of porn on solar power? you wouldn't like it either.

  • Bobarian||

    Oooh burn!

    Take that you fire-fightin bastards.

  • Matrix||

  • Stormy Dragon||

    Months later, it would be obvious that Putin had had the KGB assassinate Clancy as the first move in a complex plan to restore the Soviet Union, but be the time we noticed, it was too late to stop it.

  • WTF||

    Are the Cleveland Browns going to be his pall bearers?

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    I blame the govt shutdown.

  • Cascadian Ephor Xenocles||

    Shutdown claims another victim!

  • Dr. Frankenstien||

    So how many books is his estate going to write now that he's dead?

    Still I did enjoy his books especially the earlier ones. RIP

  • Enough About Palin||

    We used to chat on the phone. RIP

  • Tonio||

    That Didn't Take Long Department: A stalinist **** semi-friend from college posted on her FB yesterday about how we needed single payer to fix "this healthcare mess." Srsly. She spent the last several years shilling for PPACA and then on the first day declares that it's doomed to failure because of a few (ahem) rollout glitches. Almost as if this was the strategy all along.

  • Matrix||

    almost? that was the purpose of PPACA.

    These are features, not bugs.

  • Longtorso, Johnny||

    Govt tries to roll out website. Website sucks on day one. Market Failure!!!

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    I kind of expected this would be the line after people discover the bugs in the system. We got PPACA in the first place after the defects of the previous system were blamed on corporation-y free-market shenanigans.

  • Tonio||

    We all did, Eddie, I just didn't think they'd be that brazen about it. I figured they'd wait a few months after actual implementation before starting the push for single-payer.

  • Mr. Soul||

    But I think it's fair to say, No. 1, any of us would be pretty angry," Obama said. "No. 2, that the Cambridge police goons acted stupidly in arresting blocking access to somebody when there was already proof that they were in at their own home memorial. And No. 3 — what I think we know separate and apart from this incident — is that there is a long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos WWII veterans being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately, and that's just a fact.

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