A.M. Links: Labor Unions Worried About Obamacare, Oakland Cops Point Gun at Sleeping Baby, Burger King to DNA Test for Horse Meat

  • Some labor unions are worried that Obamacare will raise their health insurance costs. Sure Nancy Pelosi said you had to pass the bill to find out what’s in it, but that’s no excuse for not seeing this one coming.  
  • A sexagenarian Illinois woman is suing the city of Evansville and its police department after her home was forcibly entered and raided over a posting someone made using her wifi connection. The internet troll is presumably still at large.
  • A second Miami cop turned himself in to authorities on charges of extortion related to a sports-betting protected racket. Meanwhile, another Miami cop was arrested on charges of armed kidnapping and sexual battery.
  • Two Oakland cops pointed a gun at a one-year-old in the course of investigating a misdemeanor, according to a report from the independent monitor on police misconduct.  And some people want to restrict gun possession to these types.
  • Burger King will be DNA testing its meat product to ensure it doesn’t contain pork, lamb or horse. Yum!
  • A survey of Chinese firms found that most believed the Middle East and Africa had more favorable business environments than Europe. Mull that one over.
  • Ed Koch, the mayor of New York City from 1978 to 1989, died last night.

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Two Oakland cops pointed a gun at a one-year-old in the course of investigating a misdemeanor...

    Looks like we need to expand that weapons ban. For the children.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Our joke is the UK's reality.

  • Restoras||

    Taking the guns out of the hands of the goons in blue would be a good start. Level the playing field, not too mention eliminate a key recruiting feature for the loser high school bullies that go on to become trough-feeding piggies.

  • Bee Tagger||

    That 1 yr old should sue for experiencing emotionally-shaken baby syndrome.

  • Raven Nation||

    They were just being careful: "US Marshals" taught us that hoods always hide guns in baby cribs.

  • Way Of The Crane||

    “[D]uring a search warrant, two officers pointed their firearms at a sleeping 19-month-old child who, of course, posed no immediate threat to the officers or others. The crime being investigated, according to the reports, involved a misdemeanor offense.”

    "Immediate threat" being the operative words here, I'm sure that these heros in blue were just taking a proactive stance against this thug's eventual rise to mass murderer.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Burger King will be DNA testing its meat product to ensure it doesn’t contain pork, lamb or horse.

    No one wants mad horse disease.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Neigh, I would not want to be saddled with that.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I don't know what would trigger that, but you deserve a silver medal from Mr. Ed Krayewski.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Personally, I wouldn't mind if they added a porkburger or lambburger to their menu.

    I'd even try the horseburger. It could be cowboy themed.

  • T||

    There's a quasi-fast food place here in town that offer various game burgers. They're pretty good.

  • ||

    I want to go to there!

  • T||

    If you're in Houston, ifh, I'll take you. Deal?

  • ||

    Sweeeeeeet!

  • Cowboy||

    I want in! Or Killen's. Killen's would work.

    Also, I had a horsemeat steak in Belgium a few months ago. It was okay. The taste wasn't too far off from beef (of course it was heavily seasoned, and smothered in au Poivre sauce). The texture was the thing though. It wasn't very tough, but it had a sort of grainy texture. Very hard to explain, but it wasn't bad. Just different.

  • ||

    Sammys is pretty good, walking distance from my place.

  • T||

    It'll be much closer once we move inside the Loop.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    Fuddruckers also has game burgers.

    Bison, elk, and ostrich.

  • Proprietist||

    The ostrich burgers are definitely my favorite.

  • mauricegirodias||

    Mmm, Ostrich.

    Bison was all over MD restaurants for some reason, Silver Diner + other places.

  • DJF||

    I wonder if the FDA or Agriculture Dept will stop this?

    I remember when there was a mad cow disease outbreak and one company was offering to do testing for beef companies and the FDA shot it down since it would mean that some companies could offer a better guarantee of non-mad cow disease beef the others.

    Remember equality is better then safety.

  • DJF||

    Old link but still good.

    “””Feds fight broad testing for mad cow disease”””

    http://www.nbcnews.com/id/1892.....w-disease/

  • Enough About Palin||

    I remember shutting down some hyper-liberal pro-hyper-regulation asshole on the bus with that.

    Me: If a company wanted to test every one of its steers for mad cow disease, they should be able to do so, right?
    Lib: of course.
    Me: Well guess what, Bucko...

  • Rasilio||

    I don't get it, I've never tried Horse but I know for a fact a burger made from a mix of Lamb, Pork, and Beef tastes better than one made from just Beef.

    Hell that could be a point of differientation for them, that their burgers are different because they contain a mix of meats.

  • deified||

    I have a reflexive reaction against mixing different types of ground meat.

    I know it's irrational.

    (And no, I don't eat bologna either.)

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "A sexagenarian Illinois woman"

    Hey watch yer language...we got enough trouble here in Illi-noise.

  • Chris Mallory||

    The link goes to the BK story.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Maybe she was upset about not being able to get a Horse Whopper since the cops had kicked in her door and messed her place up?

  • sloopyinca||

    He could always go get the link in the story I posted about this yesterday morning. Fucking poacher.

  • Ted S.||

    The joke about confusion over the meaning of "sexagenarian" goes back to at least the 1934 movie The Thin Man.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    I make no claim for original or even non-mummified humor.

  • bmp1701||

    "A sexagenarian Illinois woman"

    Somehow, I have this mental image of prying open a week-old cheese & tuna melt.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Nasty. Lol

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    Cripes, if I had been drinking something I would have spat it all over. The comments have been especially disgusting lately, and that's saying something.

  • Cavpitalist||

    The smell? Depends.

  • ||

    Gary Johnson just climbed Aconcagua, the highest peak in the Andes, and is hot to trot for liberty

  • John||

    That is a serious climb. The Andes are very dangerous.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    Andes. Very dangerous. You go first.

  • Ted S.||

    If Barack Obama can have a non-campaign campaign, why not Gary Johnson?

  • $park¥||

    Never too soon to start preparing for a crushing loss.

  • NeonCat||

    "You may already be disappointed!"

  • ||

    who says public school teachers lack the entrepreneurial spirit?

    more

  • Brett L||

    They obviously have no sense of the market, however.

  • Art Vandelay||

    My kids' teachers are way too stupid to even think of that.

    Hell, most of them can't even spell correctly.

  • ||

    Beyond parody: Germany's socialist Left party want a 100 percent tax on anyone earning over €500,000 and will be including the policy in their general election campaign platform,

    more

  • John||

    Ralph Nader campaigned on something similar in 200 only I believe it was 250K. Just once I would have liked to have seen someone ask one of his celebrity supporters if they were okay with that.

  • Jerry on the boat||

    Maybe they just hate Bayern Munich.

  • John||

    That would pretty much end German football as we know it.

  • robc||

    All the best players are fleeing France.

  • Brett L||

    So that's why Beckham's to Paris Ste-Germain.

  • Jerry on the boat||

    He is actually working for free, his money goes to a charity.

  • Rhywun||

    He's donating his salary to charity.

  • Rhywun||

    Curses!

  • Ted S.||

    The rest of Germany seems to think it OK to hate Bavaria.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    LEAVE MY MAULTASCHEN ALONE!

  • Rhywun||

    I've lived in Bararia - they're just jealous.

  • Rhywun||

    Too bad I forgot how to spell it...

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    Ah, Kim Jong Il is not dead! BTW, what the hell are you doing on a libertarian board?

  • DJF||

    How about a 100% tax on all political parties with more then 500,000?

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    I just...why...what's the fucking point? Unless they want their cash cows joining the Russian Federation as well.

  • Ted S.||

    The Linkspartei evolved in part from the East German Communists.

  • aelhues||

    Is that 100% on every Euro over half a mil, or 100% on all of it?

    I think I have a better progressive idea. calculate your tax by the amount you made so that if you make $1000, you pay 1%, $70000, 70%, $100,000, 100%, and of course $140,000 should pay 140%. That way we could ensure that the rich are paying their fair share!

  • John||

    http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-.....nney-nsfw/

    The 10th grade teacher you always dreamed of having.

  • Brett L||

    I don’t care what this girl’s excuse was, and I don’t care that McKinney’s 23 and probably really immature. The moment you become a teacher, you’ve made a choice to prioritize your students over posting your dumb social media business. Click through to see some of the idiotic things McKinney posted online.

    Pearls, clutched! More seriously, this is why I tell people to be assholes about making sure your employer understands they are renting your time, not buying your life.

  • John||

    Unless they can show me that she was giving pot or posing nude for her students, I don't see where it is anyone's business.

  • RBS||

    Is it really a surprise that the school would try though?

  • John||

    Nothing worse than the PTA

  • Rich||

    The idea of "role model" is seriously overrated.

  • Brett L||

    Eh. I hope there are a number of young women in the classes she taught that want to be just like her.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    But the movie was enjoyable enough.

  • RBS||

    "I don’t care what this girl’s excuse was, and I don’t care that McKinney’s 23 and probably really immature. The moment you become a teacher, you’ve made a choice to prioritize your students over posting your dumb social media business. Click through to see some of the idiotic things McKinney posted online"

    Once you become a teacher, you belong to the all powerful state.

  • KPres||

    What would you say if it was a private school?

  • sarcasmic||

    Isn't she a bit skinny for you?

  • John||

    Not at all/. But she is clearly a whale in your eyes. She has got to be a size 4. They should have fired her being fat.

  • sarcasmic||

    She's not lactating and her ass could fit into a seat on coach. Definitely a tranny in your eyes.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Can't we all just get along? I think you two have flogged that theme to death, and are now just damaging the corpse. Leave it enough dignity to have an open casket funeral!

  • John||

    What LTC John said.

  • Zeb||

    Yeah. This got fucking boring a long time ago.

  • ||

    An open casket? Just what we need, a titty argument at a funeral

  • Raven Nation||

    Good to know the local news station was on top of all the serious issues in Aurora.

  • sarcasmic||

  • sarcasmic||

    Dude sends dog to kill-shelter because it's gay.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....Elton.html

  • $park¥||

    Where is Big Gay Al when you need him?

  • sarcasmic||

    I think he's promoting a new book.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/book.....ore-review

  • mr simple||

    Woah, deja vu.

  • sarcasmic||

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    A survey of Chinese firms found that most believed the Middle East and Africa had more favorable business environments than Europe.

    Europe, as a continent, has generally been on the slide for some time now. Today Marco Polo wouldn't have bothered.

  • Ted S.||

    I figured it had to do with Chinese businessmen being comfortable with paying bribes.

  • Drake||

    No - the bribes are efficient. Paying European (or American) regulators and bureaucrats is very inefficient.

  • Enough About Palin||

    A survey of Chinese firms found that most believed the Middle East and Africa had more favorable exploitable business environments than Europe.

    FIFY

  • ||

  • Gene||

    Good article, the topless feminist protest in Davos link to the right of it near the bottom is far more engaging.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    SAFE TO READ HIT & RUN ALL I WANT!!!!

    Thanks for that, ifh!

  • T||

    However, it appears from the article that server side tracking is still a-ok! So they can still nail you, it just takes a bit more work by the IT department.

    Seriously, IT rules are the back pocket firing offenses of big corporate. Want to fire somebody? Document their screwing around on the internet and lower the boom.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    I would have nothing to fear from our IT department.

  • Brett L||

    The day they try that on me, I'm having my lawyer subpoena the same records for everyone in the IT department.

  • sarcasmic||

    Waitress posts onto Facebook receipt from pastor who crosses out automatic gratuity and writes 'I give God 10 percent, why do you get 18?'
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....t-tip.html
    Restaurant fires the waitress. Fuck Applebee's. I won't be going there anytime soon.

  • Mike M.||

    I'm not a fan at all of the automatically added gratuity, but the pastor sounds like a dick.

  • Brett L||

    The part on the menu they hand you before you order that says an automatic gratuity may be added. Discuss that with your waitress when you sit down. Of course, this is also EXACTLY WHY they have the policy.

  • sarcasmic||

    When I waited tables I would often take my chances on large parties instead of adding the automatic gratuity. Though when I could sense that they were cheapskates, I would use it.
    In this case a thirty four dollar bill for a party of eight? I would have gratuitized them.

  • Andrew S.||

    The bill was split up, apparently, in an effort to avoid the 18% gratiuty.

    The pastor says she added a cash tip, which given what she wrote on the bill, isn't really believable.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Maybe 9%?

  • KDN||

    I disagree, it's totally believable. She paid $35 on her credit card an plunked down the appropriate tip (in her mind): $3.00.

    The 18% figure isn't an auto gratuity, it's put there for the customer's (and probably the waiter's) benefit so that people don't have to bust out a calculator. It's a smart move with how terrible people are at basic arithmetic.

  • Andrew S.||

    She said she put down $6, which would be 17%, which is why I said it wasn't believable.

    (source: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/d.....zes-687234)

  • KDN||

    I retract my objection.

  • sarcasmic||

    The 18% figure isn't an auto gratuity

    That's not true. The 18% figure can be automatically added to the bill for parties of six or more. Look at the fine print on the menu the next time you eat out.

  • KDN||

    I'm aware of that. My local Applebee's adds it as an advisory amount to all checks; seeing that it's a chain (and not reading the rest of the story) I assumed that was the case here.

    Yes, I actually eat at Applebees once in a while; for some reason I get a bunch of gift cards there every year.

  • Rasilio||

    Hey for as much as there is wrong with applebees (and it generally is a pretty horrible restaurant) it does have 1 redeeming feature.

    The Veggie Patch Pizza, especially after 10PM when all appetizers are half price

  • robc||

    That's not true. The 18% figure can be automatically added to the bill for parties of six or more. Look at the fine print on the menu the next time you eat out.

    Actually, no.

    Although, in libertopia, that would be binding, in most places, you can scratch thru the 18% tip and put a smaller one in place instead.

    You are only legally responsible for the actual cost of the items (plus tax). And its that plus tax that makes the tip optional, if its mandatory, then the restaurant has to pay sales tax on it too.

  • Enough About Palin||

    I consistently tip 50-100% so this doesn't impact me at all.

  • sarcasmic||

    I consistently tip 50-100% so this doesn't impact me at all.

    Where were you when I was waiting tables?!?

  • Enough About Palin||

    Working as a cook in a restaurant banging the waitresses who were under tipped by their customers.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I don't believe she tipped anything given what she wrote. Also, I used to frequent a local Applebees for their happy hour and they definately treat their employees like shit. Seems like a warning would have sufficed. Or did the "pastor" demand this girl be thrown out of work? Praise jebus.

  • Ted S.||

    Part of the problem is that the IRS taxes waiters on the assumption that they're going to get at least a certain percentage as a tip, which allows the restaurant to pay less than minimum wage.

    (Or has that finally been changed?)

  • sarcasmic||

    As a general rule you don't declare less than ten percent of your sales if you don't want to draw attention to yourself.
    At my last waiter gig they paid me half of minimum wage, and my paychecks were zero more often than not because the taxes on my declared tips exceeded what my employer paid me in wages.

  • AlmightyJB||

    My first job was Ground Round many moons ago. If a server wasn't claiming enough tips to at least put them over minimum wage then they would get canned pretty quickly. Related story we had a waitress who was quite the pistol. Good waitress. She busted her ass for a table one night and they left her a quarter. She ran out the door threw the quarter at them and yelled "here's your fucking quarter". She got off with a warning.

  • robc||

    If the post tip wage is still less than minimum, the restaurant is required to fill up to minimum.

    Locally, the tipped employee minimum is $5 per hour less than the full minimum. If the waiter doesnt bring in $5 per hour in tips (after tip outs) then the restaurant has to make up the difference.

  • sarcasmic||

    If the post tip wage is still less than minimum, the restaurant is required to fill up to minimum person needs to find a new line of work.

  • robc||

    That too.

  • sarcasmic||

    I did a short stint at Radio Shaft, and it worked the same way there. The crew there is paid a commission on their sales, as well as bonuses for things like cell phones. When I signed on they gave sales numbers for their busiest store, then stuck me in a strip mall. Classic bait and switch. Being that I'm an honest person I left after only a couple weeks. The only way to make money was to get customers to buy things that they didn't want. Fuck Radio Shaft. I will never step foot in one of their stores again.

  • Brett L||

    I guess I'm just ahead of the curve on the Applebee's boycott. I've been avoiding mediocre sitdown chains for years now.

  • Pro Libertate||

    That one is particularly boring. I can tolerate some of them, but not so much Applebee's.

  • JW||

    I'll go hungry before I eat in one of those corn-syrup glazed shit joints again. Ugh.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I try and do the same. I'm a pretty good cook so unless their going to give me something pretty tasty and unique I try to avoid them. Otherwise I'm usually dissapointed. I like going to good BBQ places because I don't have a big smoker at home nor do I neccessarily have 14 hours to smoke a port butt. I do have a stovetop "smoker" that will add a good smoke flavor to chicken, pork and even corn on the cob.

  • sarcasmic||

    I know what you mean. I'll eat out for ethnic food or other things I can't easily make at home. But otherwise I can do it myself as good or better than at a restaurant.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    There are plenty of reasons to avoid Applebees (though my first date with my wife was there...) but if a service staff member posted an identifiable document to shame a customer? They're fired.

  • Andrew S.||

    It wasn't really identifiable. The only thing that was close to identifiable was the signature, and that wasn't really readable. Nobody knew who the idiot pastor was until she outed herself so she could defend herself.

    Anyways, screw Applebees. Both because of this and because of their awful food. Hell, at least if I go somewhere like TGI Fridays, they actually cook my food when I order it, unlike Applebees, which pre-cooks everything and then warms it up in the microwave when you order it.

  • sarcasmic||

    As a former line cook (yeah I've made my rounds in restaurant work) I really doubt Applebee's nukes all the food. It really is not practical to run a kitchen like that.

  • Brett L||

    Pizza oven, FTW!

  • AlmightyJB||

    The one I go to occasionally salts everything to death. Like ridiculas amounts.

  • sarcasmic||

    The one I go to occasionally salts everything to death. Like ridiculas amounts.

    That's just restaurants in general. Ask a chef why restaurant food tastes better than home cooking and you'll get a one word answer: salt.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I used to be a line cook at several restaurants and I still cook at home and I use a pretty decent amount of salt in my cooking. I'm talking about way salty. I just tell them no salt and then I salt my own.

  • sarcasmic||

    One reason I don't eat out much is that I'm sensitive to salt. Always have been. Too much salt overstimulates the taste buds into something close to pain.

  • RBS||

    The pastor sounds like a dick, the waitress thinks she's entitled to a tip no matter what and Applebees kind of sucks.

  • Brett L||

    Yeah. Take the automatic gratuity up with corporate. Technically, the waitress was following corporate policy right up until she posted the pic of the receipt.

  • Pro Libertate||

    You know, she should be disciplined/fired. One of my kids occasionally bitches about work in social media, and I tell him each time that I'd likely fire his ass.

  • RBS||

    Yeah. My stepdad owns a restaurant and would not have hesitated to fire this girl. On the other hand, in the old days he probably would have laid into the pastor for being such a dick.

  • Pro Libertate||

    There's no telling why the pastor did what she did--given the whining, I wouldn't be surprised if our server pulled a jerk move or two--but the company has no interest in insulting its patrons, however deserving. Well, almost however--sometimes, it is better to get rid of a crazy customer.

    That 18% business can be annoying, because I've had bad service with large parties more often than with small ones. And that's making allowances for the large party.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    That 18% business can be annoying, because I've had bad service with large parties more often than with small ones.

    I wonder how much the knowledge that they are getting an 18% tip regardless affects their effort level.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Yes, well, tips are supposed to be an incentive for good service, right?

    This was dealt with brilliantly by John Lithgow. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to watch this.

  • RBS||

    How is 3rd Rock not in syndication (at least around here)? 8 hours a day of Family Guy, Friends and Big Bang Theory but not one episode of 3rd Rock?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    When I was in high school my cousin and I went golfing a lot. We would eat at the clubhouse restaurant afterwards. We always got the same thing, and we would both start at a $3 tip and adjust based on the service. Won't bring us the insane amounts of ketchup we require? Minus 50 cents.

    However, we didn't explicitly show this to the servers.

  • Pro Libertate||

    My brother and I consumed mass quantities of ketchup when we were younger. When it had to be packets, we were always having to prod the cashier to hand over enough. "No, give me more, thanks."

  • Auric Demonocles||

    At this place, we just made sure they brought us a fresh, full bottle at the start of the meal. Most of them caught on pretty quickly.

  • sarcasmic||

    This was dealt with brilliantly by John Lithgow. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to watch this.

    I used to work with a guy who would put a twenty onto the table and tell the waitress "Keep the drinks full and this is yours."

    The drinks were never empty.

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    Awesomeness! That was a very funny show. Bok/Paine could learn a thing or two.

  • robc||

    I wonder how much the knowledge that they are getting an 18% tip regardless affects their effort level.

    In large parties, I tend to tip 20-25%, if they do their job, but if you put 18% on the bill, guess how much you are getting?

    Which is why really good servers wont add the auto-gratuity on the bill regardless of what the menu says (if they have the flexibility).

  • ||

    A different waitress posted the pic and was the one who was fired. The pastor called the restaurant and demanded EVERYONE who came into contact with the receipt be fired. The waitress who got stiffed is still employed as far as I know.

  • Pro Libertate||

    It's the posting that's the issue. Screw firing the staff--that's stupid.

  • T||

    I like how she admitted the comment wasn't very Christian of her. But calling the restaurant and demanding they fire people is? I must have a different understanding of Christianity than her.

  • Pro Libertate||

    She's old school Christian--fire and brimstone, Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff.

  • ||

    Haha if you're more Old Testament than New Testament, are you even really a Christian? Or just a Messianic Jew?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Growing up, I couldn't figure out why Christians paid any attention to the Old Testament, which seemed to contradict a lot of what Christ was saying.

  • gaijin||

    You forgot, holier than thou

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Yeah, this doesn't seem like an unreasonable firing to me.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...Applebee’s has made it clear that they would rather lose a dedicated employee than lose an angry customer. That's a policy I can't understand.

    A dedicated employee is one who does her best not to anger customers. Applebee's was right to terminate her.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    On a somewhat related note, I was recently discussing tipping with some Europeans and one said that it was awful that servers "had to rely on the generosity of strangers" to make their living, and that Europe was too fair to let that happen. My response was that if Europeans were more generous it wouldn't be a concern in the first place.

  • Zeb||

    Why would you go there at all?

    I hate tipping. Just include the cost of service in the price and pay the servers.

  • ant1sthenes||

    And I say to you, if a waitress automatically charges you 18% gratuity, give her 30%.

  • Ska||

    SOmething about a suicide bomber in Turkey. Side boob.

  • Translucent Chum||

    Side boob, you say?

  • Andrew S.||

    "Two Oakland cops pointed a gun at a one-year-old in the course of investigating a misdemeanor"

    I told a liberal friend of mine the other day that I'd be slightly more willing to accept the return of the assault weapons ban if it applied to the police and domestic-based military as well. He wouldn't go along with the deal.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    Just a fascist by another name...sigh.

    I just wish they were honest about their maniacal dreams and true intentions, but I guess sociopaths eschew honesty as much as women desperately avoid sitting on public toilet seats.

  • sarcasmic||

    The book isn't even released until February 13 and we've already heard how Eddie became impotent after taking a supplement to prevent hair loss and that she spent $12,000 of his money getting her vagina 'rejuvenated.'


    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....-pins.html
    What exactly does it mean to have one's vagina rejuvinated, and can I help?

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Ask Auric.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Sadly, I wouldn't know.

  • Rich||

    I imagine copious application of "baby oil" is involved.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Isn't that true with anything?

  • Ted S.||

    I had no idea who the hell Brandi [sic] Glanville was.

    And is anything that happens on these "Real Housewives" shows actually real?

  • Pro Libertate||

    It's real as in they really follow the script.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I'm pretty they just pulled all those women out of strip clubs.

  • ||

    Insert whole ham, remove bone...

  • NeonCat||

    I am under the impression that the nice plastic surgeon takes a strip out of the woman's vagina and stitches the two ends back together so the vagina is "tighter".

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Employers add 157,000 private sector jobs in January.

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/.....t/1881037/

    Nov/Dec 2012 revised way up. So much for the wingnut CT that the BLS was fudging the numbers for the election.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    Makes me wonder how many of those "private" sector jobs are serving Leviathan's cancerous scrotum.

  • KDN||

    Multiplier!

  • Drake||

    Government expansion may explain how employment went up while the GDP contracted.

    The government is literally consuming the economy.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Government shrunk 9,000 jobs in January.

  • R C Dean||

    Counting "independent contractors"?

  • Drake||

    Source? What level? Net?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Government lost 9,000 jobs in January, including 5,000 Federal government jobs, and 4,700 jobs in local government education. The local government education sector has now lost 339,400 jobs since its recent peak in November 2009.

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog.....on-january

    I heard it on CNBC. Their pie fights on UE day are entertaining.

  • gaijin||

    also, number of employed people dropped by more than 1,400,000 in January...that's a more important number for the eCONomy.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    It's almost like the retail sector hires a bunch of extra staff for some event ending in late December and then lays them all off in January once the event is over...

  • Drake||

    They source this information from a survey?

    The Bureau of Labor Statistics said: "Employment in other major industries, including... government, showed little change over the month."
    http://cnsnews.com/news/articl.....ment-ticks

    And 169,000 people dropped out of the workforce.

    The IRS has been hiring like crazy for months.

    http://www.onwallstreet.com/ne.....633-1.html

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    "little change" = 9000 to Conservative News.

  • KDN||

    You mean to the BLS, since that was taken directly out of their report.

  • Scarcity||

    "little change" = 9000 to Conservative News.

    Out of 4.5M federal employees and something closer than an order of magnitude to that between state and local governments? Yeah, I'd say 0.1% is "little change".

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Our Governmental Affairs and Compliance unit has been growing - I think that counts as serving Leviathan.

    Not that they do anything to help us sell or serve customers, just deal with all the regulation, rules, and deadweight hand of government.

  • Rasilio||

    We can also mention the HUGE number of IT people currently being consumed by the ICD9 to ICD10 conversion

  • Otis B. Driftwood||

    I swear to Science, this must be Bill Maher posting under this handle. Insanely partisan, claims to be a libertarian, and has no dick...smells like Maher.

  • R C Dean||

    The rule of thumb is that we need to add around 200,000/month (estimates vary, of course) just to keep up with growth in the workforce.

    Weak job growth is still weak.

  • Otis B. Driftwood||

    Pffft. Like that's gonna make him spit out Obama's cock. The President could rape a minor on television and this tribal imbecile would still rush to his defense.

  • NeonCat||

    FTFA:"A broader measure of the job market's health called the underemployment rate — it includes the unemployed, discouraged Americans who have stopped looking for work and part-time workers who want full-time jobs — was unchanged last month at 14.4%. .

    Other signposts for where the job market is headed were mixed. The average workweek was unchanged at 34.4 hours. Employers typically increase the hours of existing employees before stepping up hiring.

    And employers cut 8,000 temporary workers. They typically add such contingent workers before bringing on more permanent staffers.

    The number of jobless Americans out of work at least six months was roughly unchanged at 4.7 million and that group represents about 38% of the unemployed. "

    Keep whistlin' that jaunty tune. The graveyard can't possibly go on much longer.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    And the labor participation rate stayed the same--in the fucking toilet.

    http://data.bls.gov/timeseries/LNS11300000

  • sarcasmic||

    Dog walker finds six pound lump of whale puke worth $150,000
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....0-000.html

  • Otis B. Driftwood||

    Ha! They call the puke "sick".

  • JW||

    Leela: I'd like a pass to swim with Mushu, please.
    Whale biologist: Well, you asked the right guy. I'm the whale biologist. Though personally I hate whales. Especially Mushu.
    Leela: Then why'd you become a whale biologist?
    Whale biologist: I don't know you well enough to get into that.

  • ||

    British prosecutors said they would not bring charges over a hoax call by two Australian radio DJs to the hospital where Prince William’s pregnant wife Catherine was being treated

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    But they will still continue prosecuting people for tweeting.

  • sarcasmic||

    Eight million fruit bats flocking together in African migration.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....tions.html

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Nothing stoats, orangutans or breakfast cereals?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    *about*

  • KMA Too||

    What...no love for a HG reference?

    I enjoyed it, Colonel.

  • KMA Too||

    *an

    Friggin' grammar...

  • MJGreen||

    And the Lord did grin.

  • sarcasmic||

    County prosecutor gunned down in parking lot.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....g-lot.html

  • John||

    http://www.rollcall.com/news/e.....?pos=hbtxt

    Ethics watchdog believes Menendez is the target of the probe.

  • Drake||

    My watchdog is barking at deer.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "Some labor unions are worried that Obamacare will raise their health insurance costs. Sure Nancy Pelosi said you had to pass the bill to find out what’s in it, but that’s no excuse for not seeing this one coming."

    The only people who still strongly support ObamaCare are people who like anything associated with the word "Obama".

    If you called bullchips "ObamaFlakes", college kids would eat them for breakfast.

  • NoVAHockey||

    hmm.. fair trade Organic ObamaFlakes -- not just eat them, but over charge for them.

  • Ken Shultz||

    If we called bullchips "Organic ObamaFlakes", college kids certainly wouldn't complain about being forced to buy them for everyone else, that's for sure.

  • Jordan||

    If you called bullchips "ObamaFlakes", college kids would eat them for breakfast.

    I don't think Shriek is in college.

  • Rich||

    http://cnsnews.com/news/articl.....000-familyIRS: Cheapest Obamacare Plan Will Be $20,000 Per Family

    Good thing the economy's improving.

  • John||

    You sfed the link.

  • Rich||

  • Jerry on the boat||

    Using the conditions laid out in the regulations, the IRS calculates that a family earning $120,000 per year that did not buy insurance would need to pay a "penalty" (a word the IRS still uses despite the Supreme Court ruling that it is in fact a "tax") of $2,400 in 2016.

    So pay $20,000 or pay $2,400. Tough choice.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Paying the $2400 is about the same as just burning it, right? You don't have any actual insurance do you?

    On the other hand, I could live well on $20K, including insurance, in a lot of countries. Not so tough choice.

  • R C Dean||

    You may not get anything for $2400, but you still have $17,600 in cash to use for medical expenses (or anything else).

  • Brett L||

    Can insurance companies legally offer a non-qualifying plan in 2016? Seems like a $15000 non-qualifying basic family policy could be a big winner.

  • nicole||

    Seems like a $15000 non-qualifying basic family policy could be a big winner.

    Why? I mean the whole point is you just buy insurance as soon as you need it. Pay the penalty, carry no insurance most of the year, get hit by a car and sign up. Presto!

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Pay the penalty, carry no insurance most of the year, get hit by a car and sign up. Presto!

    Even if they have to cover pre-existing conditions, I rather doubt they have to cover pre-existing incurred expenses. Depending on how quickly you can get a policy in force -- will they go into force immediately or on the 1st of the next month or whatever -- you might be able to limit the cost, but it seems to me that the ambulance, ER, surgery, etc. are going to be on your dime.

  • nicole||

    Okay, so getting hit by a car isn't the best plan, but if you get cancer or HIV or something, you'll still be cool.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Oh, definitely. It certainly alters the risk calculation.

    Now that the W2 shows information about employer-paid insurance, I can see that it costs almost $16,000 for the insurance for my wife and kids. $20K isn't far off, especially in the non-group market. I don't think people really grasp how expensive insurance already is, since they only see their payment.

  • Brett L||

    I was wondering seriously, because apparently my $5000 annual deductible is too high to qualify, but based on today's rates, it would be close to 2.5% annual taxable income difference between that and a qualifying plan.

  • nicole||

    I haven't seen any language to suggest that such plans would actually be illegal, but I've suspected that they may just go away as there won't be much of a market for them. I think it's going to depend on how big a price difference it is--and how other rules about what % of all costs can be administrative and such might affect that. When I was in the individual market (single, no kids) I was paying less than $1,500 in premiums for the year for a high-deductible plan. Which had reasonable copays for a once-a-year dr and OB/GYN visit, and good negotiated prices on prescriptions. That's something I can see still being super attractive--$1,500+penalty is going to be way less than a bronze plan (unless you are very high-income), and you get exactly what you need: negotiated prices on drugs and dr/hospital visits, catastrophic coverage if you do get hit by a car and have to start paying for service before your new Cadillac plan can kick in, and save tons of money over the alternative.

    But will people even realize this? Catastrophic coverage was never very popular, since people just don't get it about what insurance is "supposed" to be. Now we think there's going to be a market for catastrophic coverage when people will also have to pay a penalty? I just don't think the average person is going to smart enough to realize how much they could save this way. I mean, if they were, they would have had a high-deductible plan before and we would never have gotten PPACA.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    I'm paying about $2400 a year for a high-deductible plan. I don't even want to think about how much Obamacare is going to fuck me in the name of helping me.

    The penaltax will probably come close to doubling my cost for exactly zero benefit to me, even though I have insurance to protect me -- and the sainted nation-state -- from catastrophic costs. I don't need to pricks in DC to protect me from my own well-considered choice.

    It may very well be the straw that causes the expatriation.

  • John||

    They are going to take health insurance away from all but the rich so they can later force them into the nightmare of socialized medicine. These people really are fucking evil and need to be killed.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    They are going to take healthcare away by forcing them to buy private insurance?

    Your stupidity knows no limit.

  • John||

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    "...by forcing them..."

    Well, Jim. There's your problem.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    True. But Cigna, Aetna and others love the Obamacare requirements.

    Those done the most harm are the healthy who avoid insurance.

    I should know better than to reply to John who probably works for Karl Rove anyway.

  • John||

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    Those done the most harm are the healthy who avoid insurance.

    So what's the point of even being healthy now? You have to pay for sick people by slaving away with your longer life, never getting ahead. Might as well mooch off the host and die at 45.

    Not only are the rich vilified, now the HEALTHY(generally young males) are as well. What's the fuckin' point...

  • John||

    That is the entire point of Obamacare; to make healthy people pay more so that the sick and the moochers pay less. It was all about sticking it to the young and healthy.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    That what Medicare did. Obamacare just capped it off.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    Well, I think I'm going to work on becoming a sick person by drinking...MORE.

  • Drake||

    Everyone in the healthcare industry looks at ObamaCare like heroin. It will be fun for a while, then it will kill you.

  • Ted S.||

    They are going to take healthcare away by forcing them to buy private insurance birth control pills?

    And yet, the edited version is considered intelligent discourse.

  • Ted S.||

    Or, would be if I had remembered to replace "health care" with "birth control".

    Bastiat wrote about this stuff 160 years ago or so.

  • John||

    The good news is that by 2016 after Obama and Bernarke are done destroying the dollar, $20,000 will be about the price of a coke. So maybe Obmacare will work.

  • DJF||

    I am glad we passed Obamacare so that we now know what it will cost.

  • Slammer||

    Is China exempt from the horse meat test?

  • AuH2O||

    RIP 30 Rock

    I liked you less than some, but with it leaving the airwaves, there goes another network show that I liked.

    And to replace it, NBC is giving us... Guys with Kids and The New Normal? Broadcast has gotten so shitty recently.

  • John||

    Guys with Kids looks horrible. And 30 Rock wasn't bad. In many ways it was quit unintentionally conservative. The Tina Fay character was really whiny, unhappy and unappealing and the Baldwin character much more charming and often proven right.

  • Drake||

    Baldwin was so unintentionally ironic. He thought he was playing a corporate douche who was wrong about everything - except he wasn't.

  • Zeb||

    In a lot of ways, his character is the most likable on the show.

    I guess it goes to show that being a good enough actor can hide your personal douchiness.

  • Andrew S.||

    I watch one show on broadcast nowadays: The Simpsons (I know it's not as good as it used to be, but it still has its moments, dangit!). Haven't watched anything else for a few years on broadcast. Other than that, it's all FX/A&E/AMC/HBO.

  • ||

    New Girl on FOX is worth watching.

    And so is The Following...so far...although it reeks of all of Williamson's old Scream scripts.

    And I do happen to like Modern Family on ABC.

    Oh...and what's good on HBO nowadays? I just looked at their current show list and none look appealing.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    New Girl on FOX is worth watching.

    I'd rather cut out my own eyes The Following-style than watch that too quirky by half, annoying chick.

  • Scarcity||

    It's not all ebout Zooey anymore; she's just one of 4 since the first few shows. Schmitt is f'n hilarious, and the other two are pretty good, too.

  • BlueBook||

    Game of Thrones is good, campy fun, IMHO. Mind you, I've never read the books; if I had, I'm sure I'd find it horrible.

  • Rhywun||

    I think Games of Thrones is one of the rare adaptations that holds up.

  • ||

    HBO rotates their programming. Game of Thrones is definitely worth watching, but it doesn't start back up for another few months.

    If Reason articles don't piss you off enough, there's always Bill Maher as well (paging Barfman)

  • Ted S.||

    TCM for me. And the old Dick Clark episodes of Pyramid on GSN.

  • Mongo||

    TCM allowed me to catch-up on those classic and spaghetti Westerns that I missed while I was young punk.

  • SIV||

    TCM is the best thing on TV.

  • RBS||

    Does anyone here still watch The Office?

  • John||

    I never liked it. The Brit version wasn't bad. But really anything with Steve Carell is just unwatchable.

  • RBS||

    I usually agree about Carell but his Michael Scott was pretty funny. The show has taken a nose dive since he left. Thankfully this is the last season because it is hard to watch and incredibly unfunny.

  • Otis B. Driftwood||

    But really anything with Steve Carell is just unwatchable.

    This. There is nothing in the world that would give me greater pleasure than kicking that no-talent hack into a lake of fire.

  • NoVAHockey||

    I bailed after Carell left. and getting through that season was more out of inertia than anything else.

  • RBS||

    I'm going to finish it out. It's like the last few bites of one of those free 80 ounce steaks.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    I catch it now and then...but "comedy" produced from awkward silence was never my bag.

  • ||

    Why watch the office when you can watch the superior Parks and Rec?

  • RBS||

    I do watch it. At least I do when NBC decides to actually air new episodes. I'm sure NBC's next project is going to be "Destroy Parks and Rec!" though.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    +10 I was going to recommend this myself.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    I used to love 30 Rock for not being the standard bullshit sitcom and having a surreal amount of wackiness.

    Then I noticed the jokes were overly topical/instantly dated.

    The biggest sin was when they "jokingly" called Stossel the worst thing on television. I hope Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin give their market-produced fortunes away to their lord and master.

  • Otis B. Driftwood||

    Ed - your link to the sexagenarian Illinois woman story is dicked up.

  • Ed||

    Fixed!

  • Jordan||

    Why is everyone freaking out about having beef with horse meat in it? Is it just because they view horses as pets and not food?

  • DJF||

    For one thing its false advertising and fraud.

    If you pay for beef you should get beef.

  • RBS||

    Yep. I like the suggestion above though. They should sell burgers made from all types of meat.

  • ||

    McDonalds is currently flogging lamb burgers. Haven't tried one yet but might give it a go

  • LTC(ret) John||

    That is a good thing - lamb is yummy.

  • ||

    lamb is yummy. Not sure Maccas won't fuck it up, however

  • Brett L||

    Maccas? Does it physically hurt the Aussie throat to pronounce more than two syllables in a word?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Ozzians are just more efficient in their speech.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Not as efficient as North Dakotans:

    Jeet jet?
    No. Jew?
    No. Skweet!

  • Ted S.||

    Not criticizing you, IFH, but is there a link to the actual individual page for the lamb burgers? The site is so fucked up I can't find it.

  • ||

    nope, the site isn't set up that way. Go to homepage - at the bottom left is the Aussie range graphic. Click and scroll

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    WHERE ARE MY TIGER BURGERS!!???!??

  • LTC(ret) John||

    They come out after the Endangered Species Kabobs.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Are they testing because there's a legitimate question about the nature of the meat, or are they doing it to placate loonies?

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    I'll guess to placate loonies.

  • John||

    http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/w.....s.html.csp

    Armed guard disarmed teen in Atlanta school shooting, says police chief

    Remember kids, armed guards at schools (provided they are not at schools like Sidwell Friends where the special snowflakes of the important people attend) are just a crazy wingnut idea that would put children in danger.

  • John||

    http://washingtonexaminer.com/.....le/2520231

    IT is funny people are surprised Hagel is so stupid. Most Senators are dumb as posts.

  • NoVAHockey||

    WTOP was in overdrive this morning trying to spin this one. apparently it was a tactical decision to not fight back.

  • John||

    Did you see the hearings? IT was absolutely great to see one of these wind bags called on their bullshit. Okay, if people are intimidated by the Israel lobby, name someone who is? Hegal about turned gray trying to answer that one. He had been mindlessly talking shit, because that is what Senators do, for 20 years and finally someone called him on it. It was priceless.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    He missed the obvious answer - Joe Liebermann. No harm done there as it is obvious and won't offend Miss Lindsey or her party members.

  • John||

  • NoVAHockey||

    I missed it .. but i'll have to dig up some "great hit" clips.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Remember, this is O!'s pick as the best possible person for the job. Sure Chuck is dumb as stump, but what does this tell us about O!'s talent evaluation skillz?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Hagel figured out Iraq was a worthless con job before his other party members.

  • John||

  • Enough About Palin||

    I think it's a set-up. They probably want someone like Van Jones for the job. Hegal is supposed to blow it and not get confirmed. Then when they put up who they really want, there is no way the Senate can say no twice in a row.

  • mr simple||

    Idk, he did so poorly it's almost as if Obama appointed him to embarrass the Republican party. But I guess never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.

  • T||

    Get the clip of McCain asking him about the surge. Johnny Mac really stuck it to him with that one.

  • AuH2O||

    Gird yourself: Jezebel's guide to their new pet progressive project, Paycheck Fairness Act to End Wage Discrimination. Remember, if you don't support it, you hate women!

    Seriously, though, this one sounds evil:

    • Amend the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 to prohibit discrimination in the payment of wages on the basis of sex, race or national origin;
    • Require employers to provide equal pay for jobs that are comparable in skill, effort, responsibility and working conditions;
    • Prohibit companies from reducing other employees' wages to achieve pay equity;
    • Require public disclosure of employer job categories and pay scales, without requiring specific information on individual employees; and
    • Allow payment of different wages under a seniority system, merit system, or system that measures earnings by quantity or quality of production.

    There is more...

  • AuH2O||

    Truly bad part:

    1963's Equal Pay Act was monumentous, but it has loopholes that need to be fixed.

    The most obvious one is that employers can still sue and generally punish employees for sharing salary info; the PFA would fix that. This way, employees would be able to know whether they were being paid less and could investigate whether that was due to discrimination.

    Under the EPA, employers who are found to be paying female employees less than male employees for equal work can defend themselves by saying that the decision was based on a factor other than sex, and then make up broad excuses that shouldn't fly. The PFA tightens affirmative defense so that it can excuse a pay differential for men and women only where the employer can prove that the differential is actually caused by something other than sex and is truly related to job performance and consistent with business necessity.

    The EPA mandates that wage comparison must be made between employees working at the same "establishment" to determine whether there is wage discrimination. Some courts have interpreted this to mean that wages paid in different facilities or offices of the same employer cannot be compared even if the employer is paying workers different salaries for the same work. The PFA clarifies that comparisons may be made between employees in offices in the same county or similar political subdivision as well as between broader groups of offices in some common circumstances.
  • Palin's Buttplug||

    They tried this shit in the 80's with "comparable worth". It failed then too.

  • R C Dean||

    equal pay for jobs that are comparable in skill, effort, responsibility and working conditions;

    Notice what's missing from that list?

    Performance. Experience. You know, the stuff that matters, not the stuff that shows up on bureacratic paperwork like job descriptions.

  • sarcasmic||

    There is a female developer on my team and I sure as fuck hope she isn't getting paid the same as me. I swear she's one of those who only made it through college by getting "help" on her programming projects. Just the other day it took me all of fifteen seconds to "help" her fix something she'd been working on for a whole week. That's not to say all females are shitty software developers. I met one who wasn't. The rest survived by getting "help" from men.

  • Brett L||

    Shit, half the men I've worked with needed that kind of "help", half or the other half were between Aspie and full blown autistic.

  • sarcasmic||

    80/20 rule. 80% of the work is done by 20% of the people.

  • Shun Yu||

    80/20 rule

    The one rule that seems to be universal.

  • Brett L||

    In state government, its more like 95/5, but yeah.

  • gaijin||

    more a cute generalization than an actual, empirical rule I'd say. Sort of like "80% of the stupid comments are made by 20% of the commentariat."

  • kinnath||

    I've seen that as the 75/25 rule, but it's basically the same idea.

  • John||

    What they want is to be able to fuck off and go home with their kids at three every day but still get paid the same and advance as much as the man who works his ass off 12 hours a day.

  • BuSab Agent||

    ^this^

  • Rich||

  • AuH2O||

    So, are you suggesting that the Go Daddy ads should be populated by hot women wearing glasses as they build their websites?

    Because yes, definitely. I have a weird thing for girls with glasses. Don't ask me why.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Me too.

  • NeonCat||

    "I have a weird thing…"

    Ew. Disgusting. So gross. /teenage girls

  • Brett L||

    I dunno. I was definitely thinking about something cigar-shaped when I viewed that ad.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Sometimes a cigar isn't just a cigar?

  • AuH2O||

    World's Funniest Human is deeply offended that you would try to bang as a form of exercise

    That said, on the other hand, if nobody believes in or adheres to this sex-as-exercise thing, then how come we never goddamn shut up about it? Here's another science fact: Every single person you have ever met (INCLUDING BABIES) has, at one point or other, made a joke about how sex burns calories. Instead of pumping iron you could be pumping something else, eh? Ehhhhh???

    But while I don't think this is a big deal, obviously, I have to wonder what is up with our fixation? Do we have to assign a potential weight-loss value to every single activity in our society? Oh, how many calories does hugging your dying grandmother burn? Can I switch to a smaller belt loop every time I refrain from calling in a fake bomb threat to a school or business park? Does donating to the Red Cross melt cellulite? Why aren't we "debunking" those "myths"?

    It is ridiculous that this information exists.

    The fact that we collectively cling to this mediocre, hacky, ancient joke—and the fact that we validate it with deliberate scientific research—suggests that we genuinely want to believe it. Just a little bit. And understandably so—shortcuts are always nice, especially when they involve doin' it with someone you luuuuv—but I'm not sure it's doing us any favors.
  • John||

    Feminists and puritanical Christians really are two sides of the same coin. Someone like Kathryn Jean Lopez could have written that article by just adding a little bit of whining about how having sex for fun "destroys the sanctity of the most deeply personal act" or some such nonsense.

  • Brett L||

    Yes, we get it, its less funny to fat girls who don't get laid. As a reasonably fit guy dating a damn fit woman, we joke about getting in regular cross-training sessions pretty regularly. "Oh, you're going for a run? Make sure you save enough energy for tonight's cross-training." What couple doesn't have a list of inside euphemisms for sex, some of which are not particularly original.

  • NoVAHockey||

    some people just like being miserable. and the adage is true -- they want company.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    The fact that we collectively cling to this mediocre, hacky, ancient joke—and the fact that we validate it with deliberate scientific research—suggests that we genuinely want to believe it.

    *clears throat*

    THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED!

  • Jordan||

    ...suggests that we genuinely want to believe it.

    Um... what? There is no belief necessary. Does sex burn calories? Yes. Then it's exercise.

  • T||

    It burns more calories than sitting on the couch eating ice cream and sobbing about how alone you are, so Lindy doesn't understand.

  • ||

    Lindy has a boyfriend, astonishingly

  • T||

    I don't even want to know what kind of strange sad little man that must be.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Is it joe?

  • MJGreen||

    But does it burn more calories than sitting on the couch, typing hi-larious screeds against the patriarchy?

    Yes. Yes it does.

  • Azathoth!!||

    But does it burn more calories than sitting on the couch, typing hysterical screeds against the patriarchy?

    FTFY, somehow, it just seemed more....right.

  • ||

    But while I don't think this is a big deal, obviously,

    Pure gold.

  • John||

    http://tv.nytimes.com/2013/01/.....c_c=206871

    It has been 40 years since the Mary Tyler Moore show came on the air and sixty since I Love Lucy. Yet, someone Tina Fey was "breaking barriers" by having her own network show. The narrative will never change.

  • RBS||

    Maybe they meant she was breaking barriers for not being very funny and having her own show for so long. Seriously, her co-stars carried that show.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Well that's just, like, your opinion, man...

  • ||

    And it wasn't just that Lucille Ball was a TV star. It was HER show. 60 years ago.

  • Pro Libertate||

    MTM was pretty funny, and she was clearly the lead. Her problem was that she didn't impersonate Sarah Palin, I guess.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    ...to the point that the mass populace thinks that things she said are things that Palin actually said.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I still find that truly weird. And the media's lack of interest in correcting that was sad.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    Oh God. ALL we need is for the media to decide that it's their job to "fact check" comedy...

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Why would they need to do that? Politifact will tell them who's lying, and in a 100% totally-bot-at-all-biased way.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "totally-bot-at-all-biased"

    waamin got hired by Politifact?!

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Nope, it was anonbot.

  • Pro Libertate||

    That's not what I was saying. It's when they misuse comedy as a source for something that didn't happen that I find disturbing.

  • John||

    30 Rock is based on the same premise that MTM and Bob Newhart were based; make the star the straight actor and surround them with wacky, funny characters. The difference is that a real comic genius like MTM or Newhart could be funny while playing the straight role. That is something that is completely beyond Fey's talents.

  • Quetzalcoatl||

    I think that Liz Lemon may have started as a more straight character, but within a season or two she was just as absurd and wacky as the rest.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    I've tried watching it a few times. I have to admit that Alec Baldwin's character makes me laugh, but the rest of it is way too meh to bother with.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I loved the old The Bob Newhart Show. In fact, I just read his autobiography not too long ago.

  • Rasilio||

    We can throw Murphy Brown in there as well, Oh and Cagney and Lacy, and Golden Girls, and Designing Women, about 600 other shows with clear female leads

  • Anonymous Coward||

    'US a police state, Obama consciously allows torture' – CIA veteran John Kiriakou

    RT: It's no secret that Obama's administration has been especially harsh on whistleblowers. But can the US afford leniency, in these security-sensitive times?


    JK: I think this is exactly what the problem is. In this post 9/11 atmosphere that we find ourselves in we have been losing our civil liberties incrementally over the last decade to the point where we don’t even realize how much of a police state the United States has become.

    The idea that our government would be using drone aircraft to assassinate American citizens who have never seen the inside of a courtroom, who have never been charged with a crime and have not had due process which is their constitutional right would have been unthinkable. And it is something now that happens every year, every so often, every few weeks, every few months and there is no public outrage. I think this is a very dangerous development.

    We don't need that ratty, old document, written at least 100 years ago by rich white slave owners. We have President Barry to take care of us now. And he's so dreamy...

  • ||

    Couldn't you find a better source? I do like the byline...RT. There's sticking your neck out.

  • np||

    Farmer escapes jail time for killing hemp thief

    A 50-year-old farmer from Schwarzenburg in the canton of Bern escaped on Tuesday with a suspended two-year jail sentence for killing a man who was stealing hemp plants from one of his fields.

    The prosecutor sought the suspended sentence, likening the shooting to a crime of passion.


    .

    Zurich 'sex boxes' to open next year

    City council on Monday approved the installation of the boxes, meant to be places where prostitutes can take customers and conduct their business discreetly, in the Alststetten area.
  • T||

    Sex bozes? I'm thinking a public toilet, only with with more jizz and used condoms inside. The mental picture is not appealing.

  • Bardas Phocas||

    They'll probably hire a Turk or Romanian to clean them.

  • Art Vandelay||

    "places where prostitutes can take customers and conduct their business discreetly"

    Like Motel 6?

  • Oso Politico||

    'A survey of Chinese firms found that most believed the Middle East and Africa had more favorable business environments than Europe. Mull that one over.'

    - baksheesh, habibi, baksheesh

  • Brett L||

    IFH, I need a hand on something Australian. My gf refuses to believe in drop bears. Says they're no more real than sasquatch (she also doesn't believe in STEVE SMITH). I pointed her to all the pictures on GIS, but no good. Could you please relate some anecdotal evidence of family, friends, or enemies who've been attacked by drop bears?

  • ||

    Can't oblige - we know better than to get that close to their nests. Perhaps this very informative page on the Australian Museum's website will assist

  • Brett L||

    Wikipedia said it was false, so she doesn't believe it. I even showed her a drop bear attack on youtube. I'm concerned about her lack of fear of carnivorous and/or rapey cryptofauna. Thanks, anyhow.

  • ||

    Wikipedia really should lock that page. I'm so sick of malicious shits editing it and tricking people like your girlfriend into risking their lives.

    Look, if she won't take sensible precautions, take her to the beach here first and watch her swim outside the flags. That'll learn her

  • Brett L||

    When I get tired of her, I'm taking her to Australia. That way when she dies accidentally, no one will be surprised.

  • ||

    drop me a line and I'll buy you a drink after you finish giving your statement to the police

  • RBS||

    Is it true that you can often find your Prime Minister in a pond floating naked in an innertube?

  • ||

    Sadly no, not any more. Our current one certainly doesn't, and she sucks. One of our best PMs was a former holder of a beer drinking world record.

  • sarcasmic||

  • LTC(ret) John||

    I so want a job with the Department of Dangerous Fauna Management!

  • np||

    Youtube/Google caves in on Innocence of Muslims:
    http://computerworld.co.nz/new.....nk-attacks

  • Fatty Bolger||

    A sexagenarian Illinois woman is suing the city of Evansville and its police department after her home was forcibly entered and raided over a posting someone made using her wifi connection.

    I was trying to figure out what kind of internet threats would necessitate a SWAT team and flash bang grenades. Then I saw this in the article:

    The officers were executing a search warrant looking for evidence of who made anonymous Internet posts threatening the Evansville Police Department

    Ah, of course. Threats against the police.

    Police later arrested Derrick Murray, a suspected local gang leader who lived nearby in his mother’s house. He admitted in federal court earlier this month that he used his smartphone to connect to a wireless Internet router in Milan’s house and post the threats.

    Yeah... I'm going to have to take that "suspected gang leader" bit with a HUGE grain of salt.

  • John||

    http://cnsnews.com/news/articl.....suppressed

    It is like they don't want anyone asking any questions. They were up to something very bad at that compound.

  • Brett L||

    I'm surprised JJ Watt didn't get arrested for this.

    Six-year-old Breanna (above) experienced some viral attention earlier this month when a video of her young lovelorn lament hit the Internet. Breanna's hangup was that she couldn't marry her favorite football player J.J. Watt because she wasn't 25 years old yet.

    ...

    That led to some nice matchmakers arranging a meeting between the NFL defensive player of the year candidate and Breanna. Watt brought flowers and got on one knee to "propose" to Breanna with a Ring Pop when they met. He posted the pictures to his Twitter account on Wednesday and the rest of us let out a collective "awwwww."

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Why would she need to be 25 to marry him?

    18, sure, but 25? Has Obamacare really worked so well at making 25 year olds "children"?

  • Brett L||

    She has a father who loves her and has already begun laying the groundwork for her voluntarily not dating until she finishes college?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    And he has a stock of shotguns, knives and that homocidal look in his eye?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    A father who wouldn't let his daughter marry JJ Watt has some mental problems.

  • Brett L||

    I think this was dad's way of making sure he had JJ to call when she's of dating age.

  • tarran||

    My best friend in high school still laughs about the time where - as a 16 year old going on his first date after getting his driver's license - he shows up to pick up the girl, and her dad is sitting on the couch nonchalantly cleaning a double barrel shotgun...

    They chit chat as the dad finishes up, the dad asks him, "So... when are you bringing T_____ home?", and punctuates it by loudly closing the action.

  • Brett L||

    Its a rite of passage in certain areas.

  • R C Dean||

    I had a similar experience, only as I recall it was a rifle.

  • Capt Ace Rimmer||

    I think I fell in love. I could read these comments and this hit and run blog all day. I found my home.

  • sarcasmic||

    Welcome. Loser.

  • WTF||

    Nice, sarc, this is why we can't have nice things.

  • sarcasmic||

    I don't know what's worse. That dude's handle is a character from Red Dwarf, or that I recognized the name as a character from Red Dwarf.

  • AuH2O||

    "Nice Things" are so very middle class. A whale bone monocle being polished by an orphaned street urchin with a rag made from finely woven panda fur as you relax from a hard day of oppressing the poor with a homemade craft beer is not a nice thing- it is an exquisite thing.

  • ||

    It takes some time to get the proper monocle polishing stroke down...

  • AuH2O||

    Well, the key is to account for variations in barometric pressure. Or, rather, instruct your butler to hire someone knowledge in these affairs to do it for you. To maintain standards, make sure to beat that servant severely if you notice even the slightest flaw in your monocle's polish- it is very important to set the tone in these things.

    Oh, and one thing that sometimes slips my mind (when I am at a social event and forced to polish my monocle using my own handkerchief, the monocle boy being otherwise engaged or, horror of horrors, if I am being forced to socialize with one of the lower orders too poor to afford a monocle boy) is that you polish counterclockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere.

  • ||

    "You see....the love of a pimp.."

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Welcome, Ace Rimmer! What a guy...

  • ||

    Welcome, and here's a kipper we smoked earlier

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Join us in irrelevancy!

  • ||

    and impotent rage. Don't forget the impotent rage

  • Rasilio||

    Hey My rage isn't impotent, it's just tired after a long day of work

  • Auric Demonocles||

    How do you feel about alt-text?

  • NoVAHockey||

    It's not too late to back out.

  • Andrew S.||

    Since nobody's told you yet, please note that a monocle is part of the required H&R dress code.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    You can't tell him that! We need to see if he's worthy on his own!

  • tarran||

    Invite him to dinner and serve him gazpacho soup. We'll soon have the measure of this man and know if he is the real ace of just sum smeghead impostor.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    I just started watching that series on Netflix. Four episodes in, and I'm liking it.

  • tarran||

    Holly: They're from Earth.
    Lister: That's 3 million years away.
    Holly: They're from the Norweb Federation.
    Lister: What's that?
    Holly: The North Western Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
    Lister: Me? Why? What for?
    Holly: For your crimes against humanity.
    Lister: You what?
    Holly: It seems when you left Earth, 3 million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen. Do you know what happens to sausages left unattended for 3 million years?
    Lister: Yeah, they go mouldy.
    Holly: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eights of the Earth's surface. Also, you left £17.50 in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest, you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you've hoarded it for 3 million years, nobody's got any money except for you and Norweb.
    Lister: Why Norweb?
    Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for £180 billion.

  • Tonio||

    Welcome, CAR. Just remember you're not "in" until you've pledged and gone through initiation.

  • Enough About Palin||

    LET THE HAZING BEGIN!!!

  • John||

    http://newsbusters.org/blogs/n.....z2Jehi6Wet

    8.5 million Americans left the work force under Obama. If we were out to cause as much misery as possible, he wouldn't really have done anything differently.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    But 15 million more Americans are now on food stamps. So it's fine.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Working with deployed code is so boring.

    "Oh, found a bug. Used the wrong index. Better change that, and spend 5 minutes waiting for this to rebuild before I test again."

  • LTC(ret) John||

    More time to read H&R - this is why I don't mind waiting for information for long stretches.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    I just watched several minutes of disjointed rambling by The Munificent Zero's chief economic adviser; doesn't that fucker have an office? What value is added by having him spout his preposterous hogwash in the White House driveway?

    Anyway, long story short, et c, every time I hear somebody talk about how the government will create jobs, I want to hit him/her at the base of the skull with a shovel.

  • John||

    Come on Brooks. He gets to come to Washington, have an office in the OEOB, gets to act important, put it on his resume when he goes back to academia. What a deal!! And you can't send the teleprompter and Jay Carney out to do all of the lying. Someone has to do the rest.

  • R C Dean||

    I want to hit him/her at the base of the skull with a shovel.

    Flat, or edge?

  • Art Vandelay||

    Why, that sounds like a shovel-ready job!

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Also, Dow crosses 14000 intraday.

    Whoopee!

    WE'RE SAVED.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    80/20 rule. 80% of the work is done by 20% of the people.

    If that's not racist, I don't know what is.

  • Timrek||

    55/15 rule. 55% of gun homicides are done by 15% of the people.

    Don't tell anyone...it's racist.

  • Evan from Evansville||

    I again feel as if I should just put my name in here.

    Seems relavent.

    Fuck my namesake.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Flat, or edge?

    Edge. Flat makes an awesome sound, but at this point lethality is paramount.

  • Proprietist||

    Apparently Geraldo is thinking about running in NJ. I guess I was under some impression that he was a total douche, but then I read he's opposed to the WoD, supports Ron Paul's foreign policy, supports immigration reform and gay marriage, opposes currency devaluation and considers himself a libertarian.

    So was my impression wrong?

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