Keep Your Porn Scenes Out of Our Naturist Documentary!

Culture clash of the week:

To make a French nudist blush might appear to be a mission impossible. Not at Cap d'Agde, on the Languedoc coast, home to "naked city", Europe's largest nudist holiday colony.

A long-simmering war between two tribes of the unclothed – "traditional" nudists and so-called "libertines" or exponents of free sex – exploded into a public protest at the town's council meeting this week.

Old-fashioned naturists have been complaining for years that Cap d'Agde's once-sedate nudist quarter has been disfigured by an influx of partner-swapping clubs and raunchy hotels. A flurry of arson attacks on sex clubs two years ago was blamed on low-level terrorism by nudist fundamentalists.

At this week's Cap d'Agde council meeting, the protests took a more peaceful form. Old-fashioned nudists complained that they, and their children, were being confronted with "voyeurist" and "exhibitionist" behaviour, including sexual acts in public. Worse, they suggested, the "deviant" newcomers sometimes walked about in their clothes and mocked the "real" nudists....

[One councillor] asked the town's mayor, and MP, Gilles d'Ettore, to intervene before Cap d'Agde's "oversexed" image caused an "explosion of libertine behaviour in non-nudist areas" of the town....

"We didn't invent partner-swapping or libertine behaviour in Cap d'Agde. This has been a social trend for 10 years," the centre-right mayor and parliamentary deputy said. "I refuse to make value judgements on the sexual habits of other people. I can't put a policeman behind all 40,000 nudists."

[Hat tip: John.]

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  • OO=========D||

    EOM

  • ||

    I would have expected the hat tip to be from Warty, Sugarfree, or Epi. But John..... tsk tsk....

    Warty, I am yanking your hedonbot credentials.

  • Warty||

    "Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams!"

  • ||

    I really never got nudists. What is the point of nudity without sex?

  • ||

    You've never gone skinny dipping?

  • ||

    Not without ulterior motives

  • ||

    Ulterior motives are fine, but it feels great anyway.

  • Robert||

    Especially if you're fat, it's a lot more comfortable without the swimsuit, and drying off works way better too.

  • The Gobbler||

    I'm with John sort of. My complaint is that with nudism, you've got to tolerate seeing a bunch of naked middle-aged fat man just to see a hot naked 18-year-old girl.

  • ||

    Exactly. And while seeing the naked hot girl is always fun, if you can't have sex with her and you are having to also see her overweight middle aged mother, it gets pretty old.

  • alan||

    The idea of desexualizing nudity is one of the most vile ideas to ever be conceived by the mind of man. As a follower of Michael Oakeshott, I will paraphrase the truth he so eloquently stated in his work in my own words, 'The cheap thrills in life are what make it worth living, you motherfuckers! So cover up! I want my heart to swoon when I finally do get that girl unwrapped, or even when getting a free peak i.e. George Costanza'

  • Attorney||

    And no tan lines. Hot nekked ladies are so much better with tan lines.

  • alan||

    I love tan lines. The designation of forbidden territory is all important to the experience.

  • JEP||

    I talk to women based solely on tan lines. The ones with tan lines are actually active people, meaning they spend time outside enough to cause strange tan lines.

    They also aren't stuck enough to go to a tanning salon.

  • Brian Taylor; British Naturism||

    It is not about what you can see; it is about how it feels.

    Try spending a little time naked outside on a sunny day on your own. You will feel more relaxed and free than you can probably imagine and at the same time more 'alive'.

    You know how your feet feel when you take off your shoes after a long day? Imagine that for your whole body!

  • bmp1701||

    "The village has nudist camp sites, apartments, a hotel, shops, restaurants, bars, hairdressers and even a nudist post office and bank."
    Am I the only one who visualized Ben Bernanke naked when reading this?

  • bmp1701||

    " 'Over our après-dinner cappuccino, we were a little surprised to see a buffed-up guy dressed in a police uniform mincing around the seating area of the restaurant bothering the patrons. [He ended by] thrusting his naked bits at a pair of female diners, like some sort of bizarre, hedonistic digestif.' "
    Also, I had no idea that the Urkobold vacationed in France.

  • MINION OF URKOBOLD||

    SILLY MORTAL. THE URKOBOLD HAS A RESEARCH CENTRE IN FRANCE, WHERE THRUSTING DIGESTIFS, HEAVING MAMMORIES, AND FIRM BUTTOCKS ARE EXPOSED, AS IT WERE, TO VARYING DEGREES OF SUNLIGHT, MASSAGE OIL AND PLEASE EXCUSE ME. HAVE TO HEAD OUT TO STEVO'S BUNK

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    Where do they keep their wallets?

  • ||

    Where do they keep their matchbooks?

  • alan||

    Swingers rule, nudist drool (on themselves and that is disgusting.)

  • Robert||

    Yeah, but it doesn't get on their clothes.

  • alan||

    Instead it forms into dry clumps of snot in their chest hairs. So much better.

  • alan||

    The swinger/nudist debate comes down to who do you see yourself as, Frank Sinatra making a move on Bogart's piece of ass, or do you see yourself as Nell, all innocent, talking in her made up language, swinging naked from trees, and at one with nature. Unless I'm in front of a judge, the last thing in life I want to be is 'innocent', and even then only in the sense of being declared. Nudist don't recognize the concept of 'transgression', what the more religious inclined may call sin, and to me without transgression, what is the point?

  • ||

    The real question is whether Muslim nudists should be allowed to wear the veil.

  • VikingMoose||

    Over the head, yes. and the rose goes in front, big guy

  • Apogee||

    A flurry of arson attacks on sex clubs two years ago was blamed on low-level terrorism by nudist fundamentalists.

    Of course it's low level terrorism - how the hell can you carry enough to make it high level?

  • ||

    "A flurry of arson attacks on sex clubs two years ago was blamed on low-level terrorism by nudist fundamentalists."
    Where do they carry their Molotov COCKtails (C, O, C, K being capitalized is a mere cooincidence - pay no mind to that aggregation of letters)

  • Chris||

    I think we can evaluate the whole nudism issue by considering one thing: If you need to live your life carrying around a towel as a nasties-barrier for stools and stuff, the practice, in general, probably isn't that smart.

  • lunchstealer||

    "low-level terrorism by nudist fundamentalists."

  • prolefeed||

    "We didn't invent partner-swapping or libertine behaviour in Cap d'Agde. This has been a social trend for 10 years," the centre-right mayor and parliamentary deputy said. "I refuse to make value judgements on the sexual habits of other people. I can't put a policeman behind all 40,000 nudists."

    I think they are working off a different definition of "centre-right" than on this side of the pond.

  • Mad Max||

    It's a relative term. It means 'less freaky than other French politicians,' which is a low bar (an even lower bar than being an American rightist).

    If you're a French mayor, and upon your election you remove the Mao shrine that your predecessors put in City Hall, and you insist that your mistress's brother-in-law put in at least 10 hours a week of real work in the city job you got for him, then you're a rightist, even if you endorse a lot of left-wing policies.

  • ||

    nudist fundamentalists

    Redundant

  • JEP||

    +1 for the pic from A Shot in the Dark

  • ||

    Doesn't this seem like a great premise for a Showtime series?

  • Wright's nemesis||

    +1

  • ||

    More like late-night Cinemax, but yeah.

  • NoStar||

    Jesse,

    RE: [Hat tip: John.]

    You can leave your hat on.

  • Anomalous||

    Can't these swingers keep it in their pants?

  • A Pervert||

    If your gonna run around bare ass you have to expect perverts.

    My dick is a fleshy hole seeking missile and a nudist colony is a target rich environment.

    We don't blame the roaches for investing our homes, we have to blame the food we left out for them.

  • Brian Taylor; British Naturism||

    Naturists, as we choose to define ourselves, are people who expect the same level of discretion over sexual activity as the vast majority of society do and prefer that their children are not confronted with people wearing fetish gear or engaging in public sexual acts. As naturists we subscribe to the same code of good manners and engage in all the same pastimes as non-naturists, it's just that the dress code is different.

    Cap d'Agde has been a naturist resort for very many years and although there has probably always been a certain level of sexual activity - just as there is anywhere in the world - it has been discreet, as you would expect it to be. The present problem is caused by some selfish ill-mannered people who wish to shove it in people's faces and thereby spoil the family atmosphere of the resort. All we are saying is consider others and stop spoiling the place for those families that do not want this.

    Imagine the furore if a threesome with loads of S&M gear where to start having sex in Tesco's! There would be a public outcry and they would be arrested (there are laws against it). It is just as unwelcome at a naturist resort (there are no laws against non-sexual nudity).

  • ||

    I just wish I had known about this place BEFORE my mid-tour leave...

  • sara||

    Nudism is a fun, healthy, freeing and wholesome way for men and women to socialize and live without clothes. Naturism is a philosophy that values simplicity and increased harmony with nature.

  • sara||

    http://www.naturistmingle.com .....lifestyle.

  • Liz Egger||

    The problem is that genuine nudists have lost control of the word "nudist", especially since the rise of the internet. Now any site which features nudity, even sexually oriented sites, call themselves naturist or nudist.
    For the benfefit of "alan", and " a pervert" and others who are either confused or are as yet unable to be mature about the human body, the difference is this.
    Nudists get naked for health, relaxation and general wellbeing.
    Swingers et al get naked for foreplay.
    Simple really.

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