A Pudsey Bear Trap

In America, it seems there are two types of people that want odd, legally-recognized names: convicts and Nazi-sympathizers.

Across the pond in England, the name changers are attractive mothers who raise nearly $6,000 for the charity Children in Need. At least there is one similarity with the case of Nazi-sympathizers: ridiculous government interference.

Eileen De Bont legally changed her name to "Pudsey Bear," the mascot for Children in Need (picture → →). The U.K.'s Identity and Passport Service (IPS), however, denied Pudsey a new passport, saying in a letter:

[Pudsey Bear] is deemed to be a frivolous change of name, which would bring IPS into disrepute...IPS is not... prepared to issue a passport in a frivolous name which could compromise our mission statement 'safeguarding your identity'.

When it comes to safeguarding Britons' identities, the government may be overzealous. It did, for instance, consider creating a database to store all Internet and phone traffic. Of course, that doesn't mean your identity is particularly safe: identity and personal information have recently vanished, been misplaced, gone missing, or been lost.

The British passport authority's worries about its reputation could cause Mrs. Bear a lot of trouble:

They say they will only issue me with one in the name of Eileen De Bont, but that is not my name. I do not have any documents with that name on now...If I get a passport in the name of Eileen I am going to have trouble checking into hotels, hiring cars and even changing money.

Sez the Daily Telegraph:

Her bank card now reads ‘Mrs P Bear', and her driving licence ‘Mrs Pudsey Bear'. She is addressed as ‘Ms Pudsey Bear' on her council tax statements, and the Inland Revenue lists her as ‘Mrs Pudsey Bear'.

In a final bit of irony: The Children in Need charity is run by the BBC, a public station funded by the same government that won't acknowledge Mrs. Bear's name change.

Senior Editor Jacob Sullum has more on little Hitler's situation. The child's parents, Heath and Debra Campbell, met with a judge to try and regain custody of their own children last month.

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  • alan||

    Live! From Air Strip One! It is your Social Democrat future, already in progress.

  • Naga Sadow||

    Wait. If it's been legally changed how can they deny her a passport?

  • Abdul||

    Who's the jerk who ripped out Pudsey's eyeball?

  • phalkor||

    they're just trying to punish her for making a dubious life decision, seem perfectly fair.

  • Paddington Bear||

    I do not think that Pudsey's name is all that silly.

  • alan||

    Bet these Bureaucratic stooges would find themselves in a quandary if some decided to change their name to 'Gay Paris'.

    "What do we do? It is indeed frivolous, and we are only looing after the individuals best interest, and we would compromise our mission statement 'safeguarding your identity' if we allowed it. But if we don't, well that would be a hate crime."

    Any Homosexual, libertarian Brits would like to volunteer for this mission?

  • ||

    I'm sorry, but "Mrs. Pudsey Bear" just makes me think of her as having a huge vulva.

  • ||

    To be fair though, Epi thinks of all women that way by default.

    Except mom.

  • ||

    Especially mom.

    "Befriending new people can lead to having sex with your children, accidentally."

  • VM||

    *stares in awe at the past few comments*

  • Xeones||

    I know, VM. If you think you've hit the bottom, hand Epi the shovel.

  • ||

    Christ, you guys are lightweights. I hold back most of the time. Meet me in person and your head would explode.

  • Ska||

    and we are only looing after the individuals best interest,

    Looing? Like pissing all over someone? Sounds about right.

    just makes me think of her as having a huge vulva.

    Maybe someone likes those fat, hamburger lips.

  • ||

    Epi, did you gouge Pudsey's eye out?

    For, *ahem* "indecent purposes" perhaps?

  • ||

    P, that would take skullfucking to a new level. I salute you.

  • High Every Body||

    So, now for the proper thread for this:
    Back on topic, this Pudsey Bear has nothing on Pooh Bear. NOTHING!

    There ya go Naga.

  • ||

    What's wrong with a huge vulva? Beef curtains are fun to play with.

  • ||

    No one said there was anything wrong, NutraSweet--but clearly you were thinking it. Guilt much?

  • ||

    "Befriending new people can lead to having sex with your children, accidentally."

    Ya know, I never saw Strangers with Candy, but as soon as I read that, I knew it had to been from that show.

    Dunno know why. It just seemed to fit.

  • ||

    Beef curtains

    Another phrase courtesy of SugarFree that I would've been happier never having heard.

    Guess what I won't be having for lunch?

  • High Every Body||

    JW,

    It was also an element of a Taxi episode with Alex Reiger having a fantasy go bad. Well, okay, just a close relative, not his own offspring.

  • ||

    Guess what I won't be having for lunch?

    Oversized labia?

  • ||

    Oversized labia?

    Eh, no great loss. I can always go back to my usual deli counter tomorrow.

  • ||

    Oversized labia?

    That's mine! With the jalapeno poppers and cheesecake!

  • Xeones||

    Well, what other descriptive terms should we avoid for the ol' hatchet wound, Dagny?

  • ||

    I was just reading that Teller (which is now his full legal name) has that name on his passport. Given his radical and newly declared terroristical libertarian leanings, coupled with his uniname, I figure he's got to get detained and beaten one of these days.

    De Bont should've changed her name to Paddington, of course.

  • VM||

    *keeps staring in stunned silence*

  • ||

    Oh, VM, come on. It's fun!

    Well, what other descriptive terms should we avoid for the ol' hatchet wound, Dagny?

    Beaver? Muff? Cooter?

  • ||

    Xeones,

    Never avoid! In fact, I suggest you employ the term "Pudsey Bear" in your next tryst. Then report back with the results.

  • ||

    Junk Tunnel. Hairy Taco. The Deli Counter.

  • ||

    The Deli Counter.

    You're welcome.

  • ||

    Wedding Tangle. Fatburger. Fleur du Mal

  • High Every Body||

    PL,

    I think that is mononameonic. One of you people has it someplace at the name link.

  • ||

    NutraSweet wins. I'm in awe.

  • Xeones||

    Then report back with the results.

    Knowing my wife, i imagine i'll get laughed right off.

    "Some libertarians on a website TOLD me to!"

  • cosmo magazine||

    Q: Why doesn't my boyfriend want to lick my pudsey bear?

    A: Many guys find vaginas with oversized labia (pudsey bears) to be unappealing. However, many creatures resembling men (libertarians) have no problem with a big pudsey. Though they all can give a great pud-licking beware that they tend to be overweight misanthropes with funny looking beards and glasses.

  • Xeones||

    Holy hell, SugarFree.

  • Xeones||

    Shut the fuck up, cosmo. My beard does not look funny.

  • alan||

    Dagny T. | April 30, 2009, 2:27pm | #
    Beef curtains

    Another phrase courtesy of SugarFree that I would've been happier never having heard.

    Guess what I won't be having for lunch?


    Same here, in spite of being an oversexed Latin perve, I really don't mix sex with food. Purity issues. Except for the one trick I like doing with Key West Lime Pie.

  • ||

    There is a burger chain in Seattle called Fatburger! Awesome. Now I know what to have for lunch.

  • ||

    High Every Body,

    Something you should know about me--I just make words up for no good reason and use them like they are spoken by the Queen.

  • ||

    I don't even know how to top "Flowers of Evil". Damn.

  • High Every Body||

    PL,

    Leave Freddie Mercury out of this. We are talking real pussy, not stick pussy.

  • alan||

    Except for the one trick I like doing with Key West Lime Pie.

    They say apple is the most like pussy, but I disagree.

    Kidding.

    Actually involves someone willing to . . .

  • ||

    Except for the one trick I like doing with Key West Lime Pie.

    With the swirl?

  • All Rights Reserved||

    Girl Hole. Lady Gutter. Madame's Drain.

  • Syd||

    It's not like Englishmen ever have funny names or anything.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leone_Sextus_Denys_Oswolf_Fraudatifilius_Tollemache-Tollemache_de_Orellana_Plantagenet_Tollemache-Tollemache

  • *ahem*||

    http://www.starma.com/penis/muffy/muffy.html

    probably NSFW

  • alan||

    With the swirl?

    Nah, nothing that technical, just plop it between a pair of spread out cheeks and eat it out.

  • ||

    Quim.

    I always forget quim.

  • Urkobold™||

    WHEN THE URKOBOLD WAS HANGING OUT IN ROME, WE CALLED IT CUNNUS. THE ENGLISH WORD "CUNNING" IS DERIVED FROM THAT TERM, BECAUSE THE WISE MAN KNOWS HOW TO GET IT.

    NO SNATCH LOVE? THE URKOBOLD IS SADDENED.

  • Stephen Hawking||

    We physicists call it the singularity.

  • Xeones||

    Good catch, *ahem*.

  • ||

    This thread is why chicks won't vote for libertarians.

  • ||

    High Every Body,

    Sorry, I should've been more precise. I meant Michelle Obama.

  • ||

    Nah, nothing that technical, just plop it between a pair of spread out cheeks and eat it out.

    And to think I liked Key Lime pie until about 10 minutes ago.

  • ||

    Mr. Thiel,

    Just wait until seasteading really takes off. Boats = fleurs de mal every time.

  • alan||

    Peter Thiel | April 30, 2009, 3:06pm | #
    This thread is why chicks won't vote for libertarians.


    It is past three here, I do believe that qualifies and calls for a DRINK!

  • ||

    This thread is why chicks won't vote for libertarians.

    Xeones started it. You're all just a bunch of degenerates.

  • High Every Body||

    Sorry, I should've been more precise. I meant Michelle Obama.

    Juicy!

  • ||

    Dictionary Of The Vulgar Tongue (1811)

    C**T. The chonnos of the Greek, and the cunnus of the Latin dictionaries; a nasty name for a nasty thing: un con Miege



    They had a dizzying array of names for prostitutes in 1811.

  • alan||

    JW | April 30, 2009, 3:11pm | #
    Nah, nothing that technical, just plop it between a pair of spread out cheeks and eat it out.

    And to think I liked Key Lime pie until about 10 minutes ago.


    And you're welcome. Now you are in less trouble with the Food Communist.

  • High Every Body||

    This thread is why chicks won't vote for libertarians.

    This thread is a little late to drop that blame on.

  • Xeones||

    Xeones started it.

    Hey now.

    I don't point fingers, i just pick up slack.

  • *ahem*||

    i just pick up slack.

    and we're back to the "Pudsey Bear"

  • The Angry Optimist||

    "Neil, you don't understand. We've been craving these burgers all night."

    "Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too...FURBURGERS!"

  • ||

    I don't point fingers, i just pick up slack.

    Why would you say something like that about your wife? That's terrible.

  • ||

    Now you are in less trouble with the Food Communist.

    Leave my wife fleur de mal out of this.

  • ||

    "Ohhh, she smells like dead mushrooms and cheeseburger meat."

  • ||

    Wasn't there a "Pudsey Bear" on Starsky and Hutch?

  • Explanation of Peter Thiel||

  • hmm||

    Is that Pedo Bear's cousin.


    Oh God. I know what Pedo Bear is.

  • ||

    Wasn't there a "Pudsey Bear" on Starsky and Hutch?

    You''re thinking of Alias Smith and Jones.

  • ||

    Could I be thinking of Pudsey Bearster?

  • VM||

    Epi - I know - this stuff is hilarious!

  • hmm||

    In America, it seems there are two types of people that want odd, legally-recognized names: convicts and Nazi-sympathizers.

    Don't hang out in the ghetto much do you?

  • hmm||

    Or is that just politically incorrect to point out?

  • ||

    In America, it seems there are two types of people that want odd, legally-recognized names: convicts and Nazi-sympathizers.



    You mean like "Starchild"?

  • cuernimus||

    I always liked "front bottom," but Pudsey Bear is a welcome addition to my vocabulary. I'm assuming that saying "I bet that frigid bitch's Pudsey Bear hangs down to her knees" would be grammatically correct? And Pro Libertate, do you mean Huggy Bear?

  • ||

    cuernimus,

    I was making a joke. Not that anyone liked it.

  • grimaldus mensch||

    You mean like "Starchild"?

    What has been seen, can not be unseen

  • ||

    He wore a belly dancer costume at last weekend's California LP convention. I have pictures, but am too afraid to post them.

  • cuernimus||

    I was making a joke. Not that anyone liked it.

    Ahh, I didn't see the joke because pretty much all I remember about that show are the names and the latent homosexuality. Not CHiPs level, but just enough that if Showtime did a remake, Starsky and Hutch would periodically wake up in each others' beds.

  • Anonymous||

    In America, it seems there are two types of people that want odd, legally-recognized names: convicts and Nazi-sympathizers.



    Don't hang out in the ghetto much do you?



    Did you miss the part about "convicts"?

  • BakedPenguin||

    I always forget quim.



    That's why I make a list whenever I pack.

  • ||

    this is magical.

GET REASON MAGAZINE

Get Reason's print or digital edition before it’s posted online

  • Video Game Nation: How gaming is making America freer – and more fun.
  • Matt Welch: How the left turned against free speech.
  • Nothing Left to Cut? Congress can’t live within their means.
  • And much more.

SUBSCRIBE

advertisement