Taste the Rainbow

It turns out that rainbows taste bitter.

Or at least they do to the Connecticut eighth-grade honor student who was barred from an honors dinner and stripped him of his post as class Vice President after getting caught with a bag of contraband Skittles, bought from another student.

"It's too much. It's too unfair," [the student's mother] Shelli Sheridan said. "He's never even had a detention."

Purchase of the tasty fruit-flavored candy is apparently a violation of the school's Wellness Policy, which bans candy fundraisers, bake sales, and junk food in vending machines.

Via the Center for Consumer Freedom

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  • Jennifer||

    Connecticut: the Mississippi of the North.

  • ||

    Let us pray:

    JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST!

  • ||

    oh, and my apology for the offensive language

  • ||

    I'm sure that the lunch room only features salads and turkey breast without the skin.

    Are fruit snacks banned?

  • ||

    damn these kids and their love of sugar.

    Of course, they say skittles are a gateway candy, leading to harder stuff like ringpops, dippinstix and god forbid, mountain dew.

  • Abdul||

    This hasn't gone too far until a principal demands that a student be strip searched in an effort to find contraband tootsie rolls.

  • Episiarch||

    It's times like this I'm glad I live in Connec...oh shit.

    School administrators have always been either totally incompetent and unable to control the students, or petty tyrants.

    The petty tyrants must love these policies.

  • Ska||

    Glad the days of saving my lunch money for weed and grubbing change for ice cream bars are behind me. I might not have graduated on time.

  • ||

    They now have Chocolate Skittles. I've bought a bag, but I haven't been brave enough to open it yet.

    review

    Also: "No slippery slope here! Move along, folks."

  • ||

    School administrators have always been either totally incompetent and unable to control the students, or petty tyrants.

    In my experience, that goes for anyone with responsibility for that eternal pie-in-the-sky, the good behavior of children.

  • ||

    If the adult employees of the school system eat sweets at home, are they guilty of moral terpitude?

  • ||

    Broben may I add to your rant:

    Let us pray:

    JESUS FUCKIN TAPDANCING CHRIST ON A CRACKER!

    For Chrissakes, geez...

  • ||

    This story makes me think about the scene in Caddyshack where the Bill Murray groundskeeper character chows down on a Baby Ruth candy bar.

    /Everyone thinks it's a deuce.

    //comedy gold!!11one111

  • some guy||

    strip searched in an effort to find contraband tootsie rolls

    I believe that would fall under the category of "body cavity search".

  • ||

    Epsiarch

    School administrators have always been either totally incompetent and unable to control the students, or petty tyrants.


    I'm not sure that the categories are mutually exclusive.


    In this case, I think, after the revolution, the appropriate method of executing the administrators would not be the guillotine. I favor smothering in artificial strawberry flavored marshmallows.

  • ||

    What happened to "I hope you brought enough for everybody"?
    You know, the worst thing that happened to Spicoli is that the rest of the class ate his pizza.
    Mr. Hand is now a fucking little pussy boy who robs kids of their candy.

  • ||

    who robs kids of their candy

    "With the sun-blocker in place and the town aghast, I was on top of the world. So I wanted to kick up my heels and indulge my sweet tooth. Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby, but with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own corpulence. But the old axiom was misleading: taking the candy proved exceedingly difficult."

  • Episiarch||

    Dude! That was my skull!

  • squarooticus||

    I believe the word was "crapulence".

  • ||

    squarooticus,

    I've always heard it as "crepulance" so I've always assumed it was corpulence (which makes sense in context) mispronounced. Could be the other way, though. [shrug]

  • ||

    "I'm gripped with rage... and island rhythms."

  • ||

    Ha! This reminds me of Basic Training, when we weren't allowed to have any candy, gum, tobacco, etc. I remember the drill sergeants found out some guys were smuggling the stuff. Phase banner rolled up. So many push-ups and moving sandbags.

    But, uh...I only had to go 10 weeks without candy (I only made it about 7 if you catch my drift). This policy is just ridiculous.

  • ||

    There's probably good money to be made as a candy pusher in CT. Black markets rule!

  • Episiarch||

    So what Jefferson was saying was "Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too."

    Sean Penn at his best.

  • ||

    "Ha! This reminds me of Basic Training, when we weren't allowed to have any candy, gum, tobacco, etc. I remember the drill sergeants found out some guys were smuggling the stuff. Phase banner rolled up. So many push-ups and moving sandbags."

    When I was going through BCT in 1979 at Fort "Lost in the Woods" (Leonard Wood) we got smoke 'em if you got 'em breaks. That was the only fun thing you could do with a 10 minute break, now it's no more.

    /I used Copenhagen and never got caught dipping in formation, yay nicotine, a soldier's best friend.

  • ||

    Is this a public school or a boot camp?

  • ||

    I call false advertising. I thought this post was going to be about fellatio

  • Rhywun||

    It was crapulence.

    As in, this policy is a great big pile of crapulence. I remember selling M&Ms for an English class trip to the Niagara--on-the-Lake Shakespeare festival and everyone was eating them during class. Teacher, too.

  • ||

    What do you want to bet that Principal Eleanor Turner and school spokeswoman Catherine Sullivan DeCarlo are BOTH FAT!

  • ||

    Hate to bring other, straight-from-the-headlines kind of issues into the mix, but: it's okay if it's freely given and partaken in, but it's somehow a horrible crime if it's bought and sold?

    "Wellness" indeed. Just not in the head.

  • Christopher Monnier||

    Shouldn't freedom be a necessary component of "wellness?" If I'm not free, than I'm not truly well. I might think I'm well, thanks to the spurious efforts of the parental state, but I'm not truly well.

    Would we consider Neo "well" before he took the red pill?

  • alan||

    Okay, all of you adults here today in this hisgh school, if you are not here showing a kid how to normalize a vector
    or correctly use the past tense verb forms in conversation, get the fuck out. That's rights, assistant principle, secretary to the assistant principle, vice principle of thumb tweedling, guidance counselor of reeducation, affirmative action director, diversity studies coordinator, officer in charge of drug prevention, lady here from D.A.R.E., on site union rep, get the fuck out.

    Lunch ladies and custodian, you can stay.

  • ||

    zigzag, my brother went to basic at Ft. Leonard Wood (I went to Fort Sill).

    These days you have anti-tobacco ads on AFN and everything. 'Course, you're right, nicotine is still a lot of soldiers' best friend (mine is caffeine).

  • alan||

    today in this hisgh school

    Oh, and teacher's assistant with the concentration in spelling related problems, you ought to stay too.

  • The Wine Commonsewer||

    Skittles are ghastly and should be banned.

    That said, out here in the great state of Californicate it is illegal to bring any home baked goodies to school for birthday celebrations, fund raisers, or events. It is also illegal to provide kids with cookies but not Jello Puddin'.

    More: Although I think it is insane to beat this poor kid into the dirt for buying a bag of Skittles, I don't care if they ban all sweets, sodas, and even the cafeteria from public schools.

    Why, exactly, is it the school's job to provide lunch and snack services. I thought the school's job was to educate.

    On the flip side, my boy is looking forward to Jr High because they sell Pizza Hit pizza and Panda Express Orange Chicken on campus.

  • The Wine Commonsewer||

    anti-tobacco ads

    At my kid's elementary school there are two-foot square signs about twenty feet apart on the chain-link fence surrounding the school that declare:

    THIS IS A TOBACCO FREE SCHOOL

    I once thanked the principal for not allowing my second-grader to light up after lunch.

    She was not only unamused, I actually think she didn't get it.

  • ||

    TWC, that reminds me of "drug free zones". Theres a big sign on my street that informs everyone my neighborhood is a "drug free zone". Isn't EVERYWHERE supposed to be a drug free zone? You know, since they're illegal?

  • ||

    Panda Express Orange Chicken



    Panda Express Orange chicken is so good it couldn't possibly be healthy. I haven't had it in about 2 1/2-4 1/2 years and I kind of miss it.

  • ||

    Everybody knows they're eating Skittles in the teachers lounge.

  • ||

    At my kid's elementary school there are two-foot square signs about twenty feet apart on the chain-link fence surrounding the school that declare:

    THIS IS A TOBACCO FREE SCHOOL


    When I was in HS the school provided outdoor smoking areas for the students. Good idea or not, it kept smoking out of the bathrooms.

  • Rhywun||

    Skittles are ghastly and should be banned.

    Wrong. I pay good money for dental work that allows me to continue enjoying those things.

    More: In California they put signs up at the front desks of hotels warning that the air is toxic. Why? Because some of the rooms allow smoking.

  • Fluffy||

    I don't really see how the state can compel your presence somewhere, and then devise rules allowing them to confiscate your property if you actually show up there.

  • ||

    My HS had designated smoking restrooms (one each for males and females). Good for smokers, and for non-smokers who could use the other restrooms.
    And once we turned 18, we could sign ourselves out of school at will.
    Memories...

  • ||

    Original story from The New Haven Register

    Turner had repeatedly warned students that she would not allow any candy to be sold in schools, nor did she want money changing hands in school, said Sullivan-DeCarlo. She said it was her understanding that the student was suspended for insubordination, which is what the district considered the candy exchange.

    Aside from the nutrition issue, Sullivan-DeCarlo maintained the money students carry presents a security concern.



    10 points for nanny-statism, 10 points for anti-capitalism and 10 more for security theater. Flip over the cards, Garry!

    Kevin

  • ||

    """I thought the school's job was to educate."""

    I'm sure the experience was educating, but I don't think that's what you had in mind.

  • Fluffy||

    Obviously the answer here is to continue to sell candy, but only to accept PayPal.

    That transaction takes place officially at Ebay HQ, so the school would have no jurisdiction. You wouldn't be "selling" candy at the school, you'd be "delivering" candy at the school, or perhaps "returning candy to its rightful owner" at the school.

  • Dello||

    WC,
    "I once thanked the principal for not allowing my second-grader to light up after lunch.

    She was not only unamused, I actually think she didn't get it."

    Perhaps if you had thanked her for not allowing your second-grader to light up after sex in the janitor's closet...naw, that would just bring in CPS.

  • Paul||

    nor did she want money changing hands in school,

    I don't want money changing hands in schools, either. It always seems to change from my hand, into the pocket of a highly paid (most often more than I will ever make) teacher.

    According to the BLS, the average public school teacher in the United States earned $34.06 per hour in 2005.

    The average public school teacher was paid 36% more per hour than the average non-sales white-collar worker and 11% more than the average professional specialty and technical worker.

    Full-time public school teachers work on average 36.5 hours per week during weeks that they are working. By comparison, white-collar workers (excluding sales) work 39.4 hours, and professional specialty and technical workers work 39.0 hours per week. Private school teachers work 38.3 hours per week.

    Compared with public school teachers, editors and reporters earn 24% less; architects, 11% less; psychologists, 9% less; chemists, 5% less; mechanical engineers, 6% less; and economists, 1% less.

    Compared with public school teachers, airplane pilots earn 186% more; physicians, 80% more; lawyers, 49% more; nuclear engineers, 17% more; actuaries, 9% more; and physicists, 3% more.

    Public school teachers are paid 61% more per hour than private school teachers, on average nationwide.



    My daughter's public school teacher just got back from a rousing three-week vacation in Paris. Enough money is changing hands in the schools.

  • ||

    He should have ratted out his dealer in exchange for a reduced sentence.

    Also, SugarFree, Chocolate Skittles are shit.

  • ||

    My daughter's public school teacher just got back from a rousing three-week vacation in Paris.

    Jeebus! At these exchange rates?

  • ||

    Didn't you know? Your property taxes now must be paid in Euros.

  • ||

    He has probably learned a more valuable lesson than anything he'll get in the classroom. Another future libertarian, I'd say.

  • x,y||

    I don't really see how the state can compel your presence somewhere, and then devise rules allowing them to confiscate your property if you actually show up there.



    Fluff, please throw away your antiquated notions of property and self-determination. This is America bitch.

  • ||

    I know the school, I have a relative who goes there. It's a very strict school, since it's basically in the ghetto and they have a lot of security concerns.

    That said, it's a prestigious magnet school with a lot of smart kids let in from all over the area. Part of the way they keep it that way is by suspending/expelling kids for minor infractions so that the suburban parents feel safe about their kids going there.

  • ||

    "When I was in HS the school provided outdoor smoking areas for the students. Good idea or not, it kept smoking out of the bathrooms."

    Ah, the smokers' patio. High school students from 10-12th grade responsibly enjoying a legal product. Who would have think it?

    /turned 18 as a Junior in HS, drinking age in Texas 18

    //drinking age raised to 19 a year later.

    ///yay being a teenager and legal to drink.

  • ||

    turned 18 as a Junior in HS, drinking age in Texas 18

    Ditto in Michigan. Amazingly enough, I waited until 17 to get drunk the first time, even though I had classmates who could legally buy it prior to that.

  • ||

    How's about we bring back Tag and Dodgeball and PE and let the kids eat whatever the hell they want?

    Alternatively, I hope the kid's parents take him to CostCo, stock up on candy and let him open his own black market business.

  • Rhywun||

    Doesn't the school have a school supply store? I know they're not giving away pens and notebooks for free...

    Paul,

    What's the "BLS"? I'm highly suspicious of those figures. If teaching is so lucrative, why aren't more people doing it, instead of leaving it in droves?

  • ||

    hey, this shit doesn't just happen at public schools. the daughter of a friend, who, at the time, was top student in her class (junior in hs), was expelled from school because she had a photo posted on facebook of herself at a college dorm party she attended with her older sister in which a person in the background could be seen drinking a beer. she was on spring break and hundreds of miles away from campus. this private hs has a zero-tolerance alcohol ban which was, via this photo, deemed to have been violated.

  • T||

    If teaching is so lucrative, why aren't more people doing it, instead of leaving it in droves?

    Two words: kids today.

  • ||

    Teaching is hard. I suspect, at least, that people who've overcome learning disabilities are more passionate teachers than people who are, say, gifted at rote memorization.

    I've had some great teachers and they all happened to seem a bit idiosyncratic.

    Administration is hard for me to really comment on.

  • The Wine Commonsewer||

    My daughter's public school teacher just got back from a rousing three-week vacation in Paris. Enough money is changing hands in the schools.

    Nicely done. The administrators at my kidz elementary school drive Lexus', Beemers, and MBZ's. We know because they have their own labeled parking. Ain't a car in that entire lot older than three years. Except that one teacher has a cherry '55 Chevy.

  • The Wine Commonsewer||

    I always wondered if green Skittles make you horny like green M&M's do. Maybe that's the real reason they're banned.

    Panda Express Orange chicken is so good it couldn't possibly be healthy.



    My kid would eat it for every meal. Unless you offered him hot wings.

    Dello, you are a sick one. :-)

    J Sub, there were a lot of schools that had smoking areas for the students. Not ours. It was a suspendable offense. Now it's automatic expulsion.

  • MattXIV||

    Paul,

    Do you have the sourcing for that? I remember those stats from somewhere, but the "public school teachers are underpaid" assumption is so integrated into most peoples minds that unless you give them a cite they won't believe you.

    Rhywun,

    BLS is Bureau of Labor Statistics. It's per hour, so the summer break and relatively low on-clock hours of teaching probably account for a lot of it. Teachers like to make a big deal of their off-clock obligations, but I'd also point out that other salaried jobs frequently have off-clock obligations too - mine used to require that I spent a week or two on-call 24-hrs a day (and at the time I was making about half that average cited per hour) and I'm still expected to come in nights and weekends on request and keep up on training on my own time, and this is in a job with a 45-hr/wk on-clock baseline.

    Teaching has a high washout rate, but so do a lot of other occupations, even very lucrative ones like consulting, but I'd attribute it largely to stress and the experience-driven pay scales that make getting out early if you're not sure you want to stick around more attractive.

  • Paul||

    For everyone aksing me for my source:

    What's the "BLS"? I'm highly suspicious of those figures. If teaching is so lucrative, why aren't more people doing it, instead of leaving it in droves?

    Sorry, I didn't provide the link, and I'm about to go bye-bye, but it's the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

    Rhywun,

    My guess is people are leaving it in droves for reasons other than pay. The crushing bureaucracy may have something to do with it.

    FWIW, I believe those statistics to be accurate, because the reflect well the few districts that I have direct knowledge of what the payscales are. Had it been way higher than all the districts I knew of, I probably would be suspicious too.

  • Sycanman||

    Fluffy:
    "Obviously the answer here is to continue to sell candy, but only to accept PayPal.

    That transaction takes place officially at Ebay HQ, so the school would have no jurisdiction. You wouldn't be "selling" candy at the school, you'd be "delivering" candy at the school, or perhaps "returning candy to its rightful owner" at the school."



    Damn. Busted for delivery of a controlled substance.

  • Brandybuck||

    I continue to be awestruck and dumbfounded that private and home schooling haven't caught on. Is it a marketing problem, or do parents really prefer mindless bureaucrats raising their children?

  • Fluffy||

    People are leaving teaching in droves because the baby boom generation of teachers is reaching retirement age, and smart women leaving college today have a much wider range of viable career choices than they had in 1975.

    It's similar to the reason we're hemorrhaging nurses, even though nurses have never been better compensated than they are now.

  • TallDave||

    Wellness Or Death!!!

  • Paul||

    It's similar to the reason we're hemorrhaging nurses, even though nurses have never been better compensated than they are now.

    No shit. Don't get me started on nurses.

  • Rhywun||

    Two words: kids today.

    I don't doubt it. I look at the kids around me and there's no way in hell I'd lock myself into a room with them for six to eight hours a day.

    Nevertheless I'm locked into the "teachers make crap" mindset you mentioned. Perhaps the unions have done better for themselves than I imagined. They sure have in other fields whose pay is more publicized around here (e.g. subway workers).

  • Rhywun||

    I continue to be awestruck and dumbfounded that private and home schooling haven't caught on.

    I suspect that most people can't afford to pay both property taxes and tuition, and even more lack the time and skills to homeschool.

    do parents really prefer mindless bureaucrats raising their children?

    Probably not, but a "free" babysitter sure takes the load off.

  • T||

    I don't doubt it. I look at the kids around me and there's no way in hell I'd lock myself into a room with them for six to eight hours a day.

    Yeah, of all the school age children I'm familiar with, only two of them don't make we want to throttle them within about 20 minutes of exposure. I'm fortunate that the niece who lives with me is one of those two.

  • ||

    All the bad pub has saved young Mr. Sheridan from the Blob's wrath:

    On Wednesday, public school officials agreed to expunge a one-day suspension for Michael Sheridan, an eighth-grader who was punished for buying a $1 bag of candy, against district policy, in Sheridan Communications and Technology Magnet School. The Skittles seller also had his record cleared. - The New Haven Register



    The Blobocrats have fallen back to the line that the kid might bring in something to which another student is allergic. So, are students now banned from brown-bagging PB&J?

    Kevin

  • ||

    Abdul
    "This hasn't gone too far until a principal demands that a student be strip searched in an effort to find contraband tootsie rolls."

    I laughed so hard I almost pooped myself

  • ||

    The Wine Commonsewer wrote: "my boy is looking forward to Jr High because they sell Pizza Hit pizza"

    Pizza Hit? Does this mean they've added a topping? They've upgraded their so-called "Hawaiian" pizza to the "Maui Wowee Special" . . ?

    The lesson being taught here is the same one taught in boot camp: OBEY OR DIE. In combat, unquestioning obedience means survival. In school, unquestioning obedience means the death of initiative -- which is what the schools really want.

    They slug our kids up with whatever dope makes them sit there quietly, so no wonder they don't want the kids to have any sugar to wake them up!

  • ||

    Brandybuck wrote: "I continue to be awestruck and dumbfounded that private and home schooling haven't caught on. Is it a marketing problem, or do parents really prefer mindless bureaucrats raising their children?"

    Private and home schooling are expensive. Some states (like Arizona, where I was when I homeschooled) require homeschoolers to pass the SAME EXAMS that union teachers pass. The difference is that union teachers can fail the exam two years running and still be teaching, while homeschoolers can't.

    This is why the unions are so dead-set against school vouchers, which bring private and charter schools into affordability for a lot of the peons who today are forced to send their kids to substandard schools.

    If I were this kid's parents, I would find a skilled lawyer and sue the heck out of the school district -- then use some of that money to put my kid into a private school!

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