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This Proactive Plot, This Synergistic Earth, This High-Impact Realm, This England
The United Kingdom doesn't have a constitution, but it's working on a mission statement.
[Via Flip Chart Fairy Tales.]
thoreau|11.14.07 @ 3:47PM|#
"...through continuous improvement in the provision of boiled
beef, and by leveraging core competencies in British humor, we will
impact our fundamental mission to...."
That's gotta be in there somewhere.
fishfry|11.14.07 @ 3:49PM|#
I thought that was a reference to an old Sherlock Holmes movie. Turns out the quote's from Shakespeare. Who knew?
Syloson of Samos|11.14.07 @ 3:55PM|#
There has got to be something about fish and chips in there; oh, and bangers and mash. ;)
x,y|11.14.07 @ 4:03PM|#
But if they don't have a constitution, what do the politicians wipe their asses with?
Episiarch|11.14.07 @ 4:05PM|#
"We would like to apologize for the way in which politicians are represented in this programme. It was never our intention to imply that politicians are weak-kneed, political time-servers who are more concerned with their personal vendettas and private power struggles than the problems of government, nor to suggest at any point that they sacrifice their credibility by denying free debate on vital matters in the mistaken impression that party unity comes before the well-being of the people they supposedly represent, nor to imply at any stage that they are squabbling little toadies without an ounce of concern for the vital social problems of today. Nor indeed do we intend that viewers should consider them as crabby ulcerous little self-seeking vermin with furry legs and an excessive addiction to alcohol and certain explicit sexual practices which some people might find offensive. We are sorry if this impression has come across."
|11.14.07 @ 4:14PM|#
This royal throne of kings, this sceptered isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in a silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England,
Richard II, Act II, Scene 1, lines 40-49
|11.14.07 @ 4:18PM|#
"...through continuous improvement in the provision of
boiled beef, and by leveraging core competencies in British humor,
we will impact our fundamental mission to...."
That's gotta be in there somewhere.
Also something about enhancing value for all steak (and kidney pie)
holders.
--------------
"Right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being
told that ordinary, decent people are fed up with this country
being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of
being told that I am."
"Well, I meet a lot of people, and I'm convinced that the vast
majority of wrong-thinking people are right."
lunchstealer|11.14.07 @ 4:29PM|#
But if they don't have a constitution, what do the
politicians wipe their asses with?
As with most Europeans, they forgo frequent use of constitution
paper for bidets which gently shower their intimates with the blood
of the innocent.
|11.14.07 @ 4:29PM|#
x,y: they don't have asses, they have arses.
Well, they may have asses, but they have stable boys to wipe
them.
|11.14.07 @ 4:36PM|#
lunchstealer,
Technically, you're correct, but since there's no longer a Dauphin,
I think we can just assume the womby vaultages are now in the U.K.
somewhere.
Joshua Holmes|11.14.07 @ 4:44PM|#
Fun Shakespeare fact: It is more authentic to read Shakespeare
in the General American accent than in the modern Received
Pronunciation accent of England. That is, NBC's Brian Williams
sounds more like Shakespeare's era than Patrick Stewart.
Ponder that for a while.
|11.14.07 @ 4:47PM|#
S of S,
Yes. And the womby vaultages close proximity to Scotland is why the
Scots banned swords. Scotland! Swords!
England lost its mojo long ago, of course.
lunchstealer|11.14.07 @ 5:47PM|#
Technically, you're correct, but since there's no longer a
Dauphin, I think we can just assume the womby vaultages are now in
the U.K. somewhere.
The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the
plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not
strangers to our land.
Julian Fountain|11.14.07 @ 6:21PM|#
Fun Shakespeare fact: It is more authentic to read Shakespeare
in the General American accent than in the modern Received
Pronunciation accent of England. That is, NBC's Brian Williams
sounds more like Shakespeare's era than Patrick Stewart.
I think it would be as wrong to think that Shakespeare didn't have
a variety of accents for his characters as it would be to have them
all talk in an American accent. Theer was no one English accent in
his day, just as there isn't one now.
His Welshmen spoke in Welsh, his toffs in toff, his Londoners in
London (innit?) and his Scots in Scots. Accents like Suffolk,
Lincolnshire and West Midlands would also have featured. His plays
were played by ACTORS to a cosmopolitan audience.
|11.14.07 @ 8:13PM|#
We have all incurred an unpayable Karmic debt for connecting Shakespeare to those abominations before the language known as "mission statements." Gag. I once served on a committee to write my employer's mission statement. I suggested a line from Tennyson's Ulysses. We ended up with thoreau's post. No one else on the committee had even heard of Tennyson.
BakedPenguin|11.14.07 @ 10:23PM|#
...hard to improve upon "rum, sodomy, and the
lash."
Abdul, remind me to never come to your parties.
|11.14.07 @ 11:41PM|#
Well we might not get a libertarian utopia but perhaps we can
all feel better knowing that socialist will always fail in the long
run.
Ouch
|11.15.07 @ 12:54AM|#
Karen
I've served on those committees. too. [Involuntary servitude, I
must admit.]
My take on 'mission statements': If you need to write one, you
don't know what you are doing.
|11.15.07 @ 7:58AM|#
Abdul, remind me to never come to your parties.
I was kind of hoping for an invite, myself.
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