Better Than the Original

Kerry Howley | May 23, 2005

Here's why you can still find a few legit DVDs in East Asia:

Fans of the Star Wars series can buy a copy of the latest movie from counterfeiters in Beijing.

Reports claim that the DVDs are not only poor quality, but they're confusing--the English subtitles match the 2003 Dolph Lundgren movie Detention.

In one scene, Anakin Skywalker is dueling with light sabers, but the subtitle reads, "I have enough trouble with students having sex like rabbits."

Comments

|5.23.05 @ 10:38AM|#

If you have to hide the truth to support your cause, then the cause probably isn't worth supporting.

Jeff|5.23.05 @ 10:40AM|#

When the Wizard of Oz/Dark Side of the Moon meme hit a while back, I put forth the theory that one could take ANY movie and ANY album and find connections and coincidences throughout. This process is improved when liquor is applied.
Now I want to try this with subtitles. Soon we will have the ability to lift the subtitles from one film and play them back on another. I predict the subtitles from Plan 9 will go well with everything.

|5.23.05 @ 10:41AM|#

Uh, that first comment I made was supposed to go into the thread about torture. Never mind.

|5.23.05 @ 10:47AM|#

I thought you were making a funny, Jennifer.

|5.23.05 @ 10:54AM|#

Jennifer,
That was a strangely appropo mistake, given the topic of discussion.

|5.23.05 @ 10:59AM|#

Oh, well in that case my comment was deliberate. I am an avant-garde genius.

John|5.23.05 @ 11:33AM|#

I heard it's really cool if you turn down the sound and play "Dark Side of the Moon" instead.

Ron Hardin|5.23.05 @ 11:33AM|#

Check out ``What's Up, Tiger Lilly?'' (1966, Woody Allen)

Jeff|5.23.05 @ 11:37AM|#

Tiger Lily! I love that film!
Anyone remember Night Flight airing Dynaman? It was a Power Rangers-esque show with new voice-overs added. One episode (which I'm looking for) involved a guy in a frog suit named Lucky Pierre who hypnotized brides-to-be with a hypnotic Paul McCartney medley.

|5.23.05 @ 12:05PM|#

Jeff,
It wasn't Coming Up was it?
I REALLY hated that song.

|5.23.05 @ 12:39PM|#

Once upon a time I heard a rumor of a movie called "Beer Wars." It was either "Strange Brew" with the "Star Wars" dialogue dubbed over, or vice versa.

Anybody know about it?

Thomas Paine's Goiter|5.23.05 @ 12:53PM|#

Quite frankly, you could subtitle Star Wars with ANY movie and improve it. Lucas is horrendous.

|5.23.05 @ 1:00PM|#

Oh God... this jogs my memory, and not in a good way.

As a bad movie connoisseur, I've seen plenty of domestic stinkers. However, my friend got a hold of a Pilipino movie called "Ultracop 2000." Dubbed into English, this steaming pile of crap is about some futuristic police force charged with hunting down a immortal criminal from Mars (?) come to Earth to drain humans of their life force or something. Along with the crappy dialogue, low speed police chases, and the usual chop-saki action, one of the lowest points of the movie is when the futuristic cops discover that the alien is afraid of ... Are you ready?... HOMOSEXUALS! During the film's climax, they chase the aliens around some warehouse with a stereotypically flamboyant gay man tied up in an open shipping crate being pushed around on a dolly.

Of course they defeat the alien by chopping of his head with a magic Martian sword ("Highlander" rippoff, anyone?) and save the day. However, it turns out that the whole movie was the fever dream of some geek who was reading a sci-fi novel before he fell asleep... AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

the regulator|5.23.05 @ 1:29PM|#

Let's not forget that China rocks!

Oh wait wrong topic. I hope I still get my 10,000 yuan for this post!

|5.23.05 @ 1:34PM|#

Akira, that sounds like something that should be reviewed on Something Awful's movie review section.

Lazlo Nibble|5.23.05 @ 4:41PM|#

"Let's save the virgins!"
"...awww, let's help DynaPink."

|5.23.05 @ 5:00PM|#

What's Up, Tiger Lily?

"Oho -- an Oriental!"

"Honestly, Phil, you think about sex more than anybody I know... Oooh, look at the smokestacks on that ship!"

"Funny how everyone shows up for work when we have girls to tie up."

"I'd say you were a sadistic hippophilic necrophile, but that's beating a dead
horse."

Lovely film.

Jeff|5.23.05 @ 6:33PM|#

Dude, Dynapink was hot.
http://www.fortunecity.com/meltingpot/brazos/352/dynapink.html