Friday Funnies

The future of the American car

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    C. Everett Koop likes to put government warning labels on things, we get it.

  • TRTB||

    Ha.

  • ||

    Dating yourself there aren't you?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Every morning in the shower. How did you know?

  • [John]ny [Long]torso||

    So that's where the fist goes.

  • rather||

    Yes, I heard it says please and thank you! too

  • ||

    Payne messed up the guy's chin, scribbled over it, and sent it in.

  • [John]ny [Long]torso||

    Almost as funny as Mary Worth.

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    This.

    But not quite as funny as Judge Parker.

  • I||

    I laughed and laughed. "Pixie Dust"! Har.

  • ||

    isn't that quark-gluon plasma?

  • I||

    I do not know.
    Ask again later.

  • Fiscal Meth||

    My what a large hadron you have

  • ||

    And if God help us they ever get this done, it will cause people to hold onto their old cars longer to avoid buying an EPA mandated ecopenalty box. This will do more harm to the environment than if they had just let people buy what they want. In 2025, the then on its 5th Chapter 11 reorganization and government bailout New York Times will editorialize how the program unexpectedly has unintended consequences.

  • LibertarianJRT||

    "Unexpected" to everyone at the EPA and DNC who think CO2 is a pollutant.

    If the CO2 vs crop yeild math is true maybe this is a plot to raise food prices to a) increase GMO stock, b) punish the poor, c) increase class struggle to bring about "transformative change", or d) restrict peoples caloric intake to "healthy" levels.

    Of course they could just be so stupid as to think transportation costs and greenhouse gases (interesting because aren't greenhouses good things?) have no real impact on the rest of the world.

  • ||

    They are just stupid. I honestly don't think they are capable of the kind of rational thought necessary for a conspiracy like that. It is just all emotion and brand. There is no truth to them beyond what they imagine it to be.

  • sarcasmic||

    Intentions are more important than results.

    You see, they do not intend to raise food prices. That never occurred to them. Therefor when food prices rise it isn't their fault because it wasn't their intention. Rising food prices are reason for more government action intended to lower food prices. Never ever ever ever should a well intentioned program be undone. How the fuck are we going to go to Hell without paving the way with good intentions?!?

  • GroundTruth||

    "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions"

  • Bill||

    This!

  • ||

    consensus win the day again.
    "Our scientists say..."

  • West Texas||

    Yeah, I agree with this.

    Generally, leftists are conspiracists, they're just naive and wishful and care more about good intentions.

  • ||

    They dont care about food prices, they would rather burn it as ethanol. Much of the rioting in the mideast started because of the cost of food.

  • GroundTruth||

    Just like all the power they're going to 'harvest' with windmills that won't pay for themselves unless they have a subsidy and increased user rates. The math does NOT work.

  • LibertarianJRT||

    I am waiting for the day GM needs a billion dollar loan from the government to buy out the small scale car company that actually figures out the pixie dust and happy thoughts breakthrough. Of course property rights may mean so little at that point the patient office might just redistribute the technology rights over to GM.

  • Appalachian Australian||

    Why do you hate labour unions?

  • MNG||

    They have produced nothing but rainbows and puppy dogs.

  • ||

    I can think of companies that produce things without unions. Can't think of a union that produces anything without a company to feed it, though.

    Hmmm, perhaps it's not a symbiotic relationship after all. More like a parasite attaching itself to a host.

  • Appalachian Australian||

    Unions have an unintended effect that they make their host company much more productive, since so much gross revenue has to be allocated towards pensions, wages, and bloated benefits.

    You can see this in the airline industry, where airfares haven't gone up since 1980 despite oil going from $15/bbl to $140.

  • LibertarianJRT||

    Good morning Reason.

    C+

  • LibertarianJRT||

    Upon further review, the ball hair chin gives the piece depth. I will raise the grade. B-

  • Doubleu||

    As usual I wake up on Friday morning, come to reason to complain about the cartoon. This week I must say I am greatly disappointed in the color of the car. Seriously how could Payne choose blue?

  • Comment Tater||

    Blue is the color of despair.

  • Paleo||

    Turns out pixie dust has side effects of its own, including severely retarding child development.

  • ||

    Some of those dust cartels in Latin America are very violent too.

  • ||

    After reading this, Pixie's are already in discussions to unionize. Producing pixie dust is hard work, and they Pixie's don't plan on being exploited. They expect plenty of subsidies and tax breaks, or they will outsource their services to China, where they are worshiped as gods.

  • Amakudari [name]||

    As always, funniest cartoon of the week. A+. 11/10. [comment]

    [blank space]

    [reply button]
    |
    |
    V

  • sarcasmic||

    facial hair = crunch liberal douche bag

  • sarcasmic||

    *crunchy

  • ||

    Don't forget the wire rim glasses. Those are standard issue at "crunch liberal douche bag school".

  • ||

    You can't have a smug, faux thoughtful look without both facial hair and wire rimmed glasses.

  • ||

    Nah dude, lots on non crunchy (or crusty in the British parlance) people have facial hair. I have heavy stuble and an awesome, rakish, dastardly looking WW2 RAF 'tach.

  • ||

    That is why you have to have to glasses to go with the facial hair and the drab clothes as well. It is a whole liberal douche uniform. Take away any one part and it loses its effect.

  • ||

    Yeah, "intellectual" glasses are a good indicator of doucheness.

  • S.E. Cupp||

    Hey!

  • ||

    If you are a hot chick, the rules of fashion do not apply to you.

  • sarcasmic||

    If you are an intellectual douche, chances are you aren't a hot chick.

  • S.E. Cupp||

    I am a homely chick with ugly glasses that, somehow, make me appear attractive. I call it "The Ugly Glasses Effect." Read all about it on my blog!

  • ||

    SE Cupp is hot. Losing the glasses makes her hotter. If ugly glasses made women hot, Rachel Maddow wouldn't look like Dennis the Menace.

    http://lukeford.net/
    blog/?p=8579

    cut and paste that together for an example of what I am talking about. The fucking piece of shit spam filter blocked it. But of course lets anonbot post on every thread.

    She says the thought of strange men lusting after her on TV and the internet "creeps her out". If that is true, why does she vamp herself up on TV all the time?

  • ||

    Women are required by social norms to say it creeps them out when men ogle them. I'm sure they are actually creeped out a lot of the time when being ogled by creepy guys, but appreciate it when they are admired (politely ogled?) by desirable men.

  • sarcasmic||

    Thinking about it, that blond intellectual douche chick that appears on Judge Napolitano is pretty hot.
    Caroline Heldman I believe?
    Yeah, she'd look much better with my balls bouncing off her chin.

  • ||

    She is hot.

  • ||

    Caroline Heldman... Too bad she's marrying a gay guy...

    After years of not actively searching, I have found deep love and happiness with an incredible person. He requires very little prodding to rise above his patriarchal upbringing, is elated that I make more money than he does, and is toying with the idea of taking my last name, just to highlight the absurd gendered nature of this practice. He is my "partner in crime" every day in every way.
  • ||

    Wow. Maybe she looks at sexual frustration as her way to fight the patriarchy

  • ||

    Caroline Heldman in five years...

    Conventional "wisdom" in our patriarchal society says that is it women who are the less passionate and sexually active partners in heterosexual relationships. If this is true, why won't my husband sleep with me? Probably because he has been bombarded by the hyper-sexuality Barbie doll version of frat-bro sexuality.

    Caroline Heldman in ten years...

    I won't say it has been easy standing by my partner as she transitions from male to female. But I love her. And I know she will always be my best friend. And I have a wingwoman to help me find another man who can bravely stand up to the patriarchal programming in our society's DNA.

    Caroline Heldman in fifteen years...

    Noted author and transgender rights activist found dead of apparent suicide. It will be difficult for an autopsy to determine cause of death due to excessive animal predation on the corpse. Her 28 well-fed cats will be put up for adoption.
  • sarcasmic||

    Well fed? She must have put on a few pounds over those last fifteen years.

  • ||

    Hyperpalatable frankenfoods created by nefarious corporations were the only thing available in the food desert created by a lack of a light rail station right beside her house.

  • Art-P.O.G.||

    A+

  • Appalachian Australian||

    Do we have a positive right to healthful food, or just a positive right to be free of greasy frankenfoods?

  • ||

    The fact that that is true SF, doesn't make it any less wrong.

  • SIV||

    OT Win

  • MNG||

    I wouldn't say gay, afaik gay men get to keep their balls.

  • ||

    I guess we know who wears the strap-on in that family.

  • Paul||

    Wait a minute now, SF, I'm down with the whole "elated that [she] makes more money than [I do]." thing.

    I mean, all that other stuff, yeah. But the income thing? Nothing turns me on more than a woman who dates down.

    Makes me think (if fleetingly) I have a shot.

  • rather||

    sarcasmic, so you like women with loose purple skin and chin beards?

  • sarcasmic||

    sarcasmic, so you like women with loose purple skin and chin beards?

    ?

    Caroline Heldman does not have loose purple skin that I know of.
    As far as chin beards go, if you mean I like women with my balls bouncing off their chin, then yes.

  • ||

    Caroline seems like the type of girl who has a gang bang,DP,bukake video, floating somewhere in cyberspace, just waiting to be discovered.

  • ||

    SE Cup is hot. Losing the glasses just makes her hotter. If ugly glasses made women hot, Rachel Maddow would be hot rather than looking like Dennis the Menace.

    Cut and paste this, to the thread below. (the spam filter keeps blocking it)

    http://lukeford

    She says at the link that strange men lusting after her on TV creeps her out. If that is true why does she vamp herself out on TV all the time?

    .net/blog/?p=8579

  • [John]ny [Long]torso||

    She says at the link that strange men lusting after her on TV creeps her out.

    But I gave myself a waiver.

  • ||

    I tried to look without lust...FAILED!

  • Brett L||

    She does understand the link between men lusting after her and her being on TV, right?

  • ||

    Sadly, she has been poisoned with just enough college feminist thinking that I am not sure she does.

  • ||

    I'm positive she knows what she is doing, otherwise she would not dress the way she does on TV. She's just increasing the value of her brand as a sexy political commentator.

    This is really similar to how celebrities bitch about fame and how awful it is to deal with paparazzi, and then go out to restaurants that are known to be frequented by paparazzi to be seen. It's all about brand equity.

  • ||

    Or maybe wearing a skirt that covers her ass might help some too. What a dingbat.

    http://www.google.com/imgres?i.....A&dur=7188

  • ||

    she can ding that bat all she wants, hot women get things ugly women don't so shut it...

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    The Dream of the 90's is Alive in Portland... where all the cute girl's wear glasses.

  • Anthony Weiner||

    You can S.E. Cupp my balls!

    No, really, you can.

  • ||

    Wait a minute; Weiner doesn't dress like that, and i'm sure no one here questions his liberal douche bonar fides (heheh). He dresses like Pee Wee Herman (the similarities don't end there, of course). i propose the existence of the Class B Liberal Douche: the Pencil-necked Geek.

  • ||

    This is some sort of Neil Hamburger-esque anti-humour, right?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I suggest everyone give a listen to EPA's White Album on vinyl. It will blow your mind.

  • ||

    i heard Owebama has a new book in the works "The Audacity Of Intention"

  • sarcasmic||

    What's with the super scribbles around the ears.
    Is Mr EPA Douche a Joo or something?

  • Mel Gibson||

    Wait, the Jewish man is not the banker? That is hilarious.

  •  ||

    His name is Epa, the promise of God's love fulfilled.

  • Uni Bleever||

    And "Epa" spelled backwards is "Ape." Haw!

  • Epa||

    That would explain my super strength and extra-long arms.

  • Depto||

    Very risqué Mr. EPAyne. Implying Jews believe in magic.

  • Bee Tagger||

    What about the Reindeer population on Neverland Island? Apparently, the EPA thinks they can go fuck themselves.

  • Woody Allen||

    Jew buy a car?

  •  ||

    I see what Jew did there.

  • ||

    "If I was the EPA-man, biddy biddy biddy biddy biddy biddy biddy biddy bum.
    All day long I'd tell you what do, if I was the EPA!"

  • Untermensch||

    The scientists have just got the wrong place.

  • Grandpa Simpson||

    EEEEPAH! EEEEPAH!

  • Seer||

    Wait, wouldn't pixie dust be a non-renewable resource? This cartoon is very unrealistic.

  • Pixie Dust Genie||

    No. You have two more questions.

  • Joe Biden||

    Will the President and I be re-elected next year?

  • Pixie Dust Genie||

    I answer questions only about pixie dust, duh. One more question.

  • Magic 8 Ball||

    Joe Biden|6.24.11 @ 8:35AM|#
    Will the President and I be re-elected next year?

    It is decidedly so.

  •  ||

    Do you look like Barbara Eden in 1966?

    http://goremasterfx.files.word.....=238&h=300

  • Pixie Dust Genie||

    Since that is tangentially related to pixie dust, I'll answer it: No. Toodle!

  • Dept O||

  • Matt Felch||

    I enjoyed this one.

  • [John]ny [Long]torso||

    Where are the f'ing morning links?

  • MNG||

    It's always late on Fridays. Reason staff must party hard Thursday nights.

  • sarcasmic||

    Who doesn't?

  • ||

    Yup. I guess this Friday "funny" is supposed to tide us over until the morning brunch links.

    Fucking ridiculous. I hereby retroactively cancel my (nonexistent) subscription!

  • John/Johnny||

    Urge to release link-blast rising...

  • Leat Moaf||

    Every Friday morning
    I felt the fever grow
    All revved up with no place to go

  • ||

    More cowbell.

  • New Day||

  • ||

    Not Funny
    Not Topical
    Poorly Drawn

    F

  • ||

    Payne has that annoying habit, all too common among cartoonists, of making people look like anthropomorphic dicks.

    He should just draw some penises, hang signs around their necks that say 'liberal', and have Nelson Muntz pointing and saying "Ha Ha". Of course, the Statue of Liberty should be weeping in the background.

  • SIV||

    Not Topical
    Do you live in a cave like the Unabomber?
    Or is one-week old "not-topical" in this day and age?

    Obama is proposing a 62mpg CAFE standard.RTFN

  • ||

    Unabomber: It's a shack, not a cave! Get it fucking right!!! Would you open this box for me, please?

  • SIV||

    Osama=cave (compund)
    Unabomber=shack
    AlGore=lavish carbon emitting mansion

    I can't keep up with all these terrorists' real estate choices!

  • SIV||

    For the informationally challenged:

    http://www.google.com/webhp?hl.....80&bih=630

  •  ||

    It's a prison cell, actually.

  • John/Johnny||

    Rising...

  • [John]ny [Long]torso||

    The pain only makes the release that much sweeter.

  •  ||

    Eww.

  • sarcasmic||

    Look up Peaches doing Fuck the pain away on youtube.
    I'd give you a link but corporate blocks youtube.

  • Ska||

    My ex gf emailed me that once; I returned with a Gang of Four Damaged Goods.

  • [John]ny [Long]torso||

    Fuck 'em. I gotta get to work.

    Bitch slapping Garrett Epps at The Atlantic never gets old
    His next 'myth' will be "The Second Amendment was "intended" to make government "'fear the people.'"

    Quotes of the day
    “If the Constitution was intended to limit the federal government, it sure doesn’t say so [except for that pesky 10th amendment]. Article I, Section 8, the longest section of the longest article of the Constitution, is a drumroll of congressional power. And it ends with the ‘necessary and proper’ clause, which delegates to Congress the power ‘to make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.’ Limited government indeed…

    “We can pat ourselves on the back about the past 223 years, but we cannot let the Constitution become an obstacle to the U.S.’s moving into the future with a sensible health care system, a globalized economy, an evolving sense of civil and political rights. The Constitution, as Martin Luther King Jr. said in his great speech on the Mall, is a promissory note. That note had not been fulfilled for African Americans. But I would say the Constitution remains a promissory note, one in which ‘We the People’ in each generation try to create that more perfect union....

  • Links Cop||

    Cheater!
    Get him, boys!

  • ||

    Equality and self-government, as ideas in the law, are mostly dead--but not all dead. The battle is not over. Sustained popular pressure may force right-wing courts and activist groups to back off from their continuing demands for special political rights for corporations and the rich.

    The ability to spend your own fucking money is a "special political right".

  • [John]ny [Long]torso||

    Issa camp says Washington Post wrong on Gunrunner story
    ...A Wednesday Washington Post story used anonymous Justice Department sources to bash Issa’s investigation into Project Gunrunner and Operation Fast and Furious.

    The anonymous sources claimed that Issa attended a classified April 2010 briefing for members of Congress and their staffers about the programs that have allowed American guns into Mexican drug cartels’ hands.

    Issa spokesman Frederick Hill told The Daily Caller the Post is the first newspaper to run these DOJ claims, but not the first one the Justice Department went to with them.

    “We have had people who have contacted us before the Washington Post,” Hill said. “They told us people in the Justice Department were trying to push this story and I think a number of publications didn’t think it was credible or, for whatever reason, decided not to run it.”

    Hill said there was a briefing that Issa attended back in April 2010 on a similar subject. “There were questions at the time about the number of U.S. weapons that were ending up at Mexican crime scenes,” he said. “Basically, [it was about] the efforts of the ATF to stop cartels from doing this.”

    Did Project Gunrunner or Operation Fast and Furious come up at that briefing at all? Hill says “they certainly did not.”...

    ‘Gunwalker’ Goes Pravda: White House Unleashes MSM
    ...The Washington Post has printed a character assassination piece targeting Issa which PJM sources confirm had been shopped around to other news outlets and blogs by the Obama administration since the House Oversight Committee hearings last week.

    The administration-authored Post story attempts to claim that Rep. Issa, the chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform which issued the damning report last week about Gunwalker, had been briefed about the program a year ago and had no objections to it at that time.

    The evidence for this claim? There isn’t any....

  • Links Cop||

    This is why we can't have nice things.

  • Mr Whipple®©™||

    I laughed, I cried, it became part of me.

  • sevo||

    sarcasmic|6.24.11 @ 8:04AM|#
    "Intentions are more important than results...."

    Isn't this the basis of the NLRB action against Boeing?

  • sarcasmic||

    The NLRB action against Boeing is about creating jobs.
    By not allowing Boeing to create jobs the federal government can claim to have created jobs.
    Especially if Boeing wises up and leaves the country, the federal government can claim credit for creating thousands of jobs.

  • ||

    No, they don't have good intentions. The point of the NLRB action is to punish people who try to build in open-shop states.

  • Phlogistan||

    Psilocybin power!

  • ||

    I guess they don't want us to taste some "forbidden fruits" like this one mentionned at Jalopnik http://jalopnik.com/5815228/ch.....police-car

  • ||

    I paid $32.67 for a XBOX 360 and my mom got a 17 inch Toshiba laptop for $94.83 being delivered to our house tomorrow by FedEX. I will never again pay expensive retail prices at stores. I even sold a 46 inch HDTV to my boss for $650 and it only cost me $52.78 to get. Here is the website we using to get all this stuff, BuzzSave.(c)om

  • NASF||

    HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVINET!
    ...likes this!

  • موقع زفات||

    thank you

  • زفات||

    Not Funny

  • granite countertop||

    Every day we face with countertop,you can have a high quality of life with granite countertop of yalitongstone,but we will also very pleased if you can see Huaxingstone's granite countertop.

  • قبلة الوداع||

    thank u

  • قبلة الوداع||

    ThaNk U

  • cc||

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    The theme of your wedding party would be an significant place when choosing that unique dress. have you been obtaining married for the beach? If so, you may pick a gentle airy style. Have you made the decision on the formal affair? Then by all means, go all out and put on a light attire covered in silk and lace. what ever kind of celebration your wedding party will be, your attire will perform among the most significant roles in it!With the cost of weddings, some couples attempt and minimize back again by creating their personal flowers, or purchase some wedding dress in a specialized dress shop at a high price, but why don't you try to buy a cheap wedding dresse online directly. Where you can also purchase your ideal wedding dress and some new fashions. whatever style, colour or cost variety you sooner or later choose on when deciding on your wedding party dress, don't neglect that it's you your fiancé fell in adore with, not your dress. The attire adds towards ambiance from the day, however it isn't the genuine centerpiece.

    After you have selected your wedding party attire hang it inside bag it arrives in and don't display it to everybody. Give company a thing to start looking forward to once they see you for your initial time walking along the aisle. And unless it is really unavoidable, don't allow your potential husband see your attire whatsoever prior to the wedding. They say it's poor luck as well as if that's merely a superstition, it definitely does spoil his surprise!

  • cc||

    If you grew up like I do using a romantic eyesight of what my wedding party ought to be like, then no make any difference how quite a few issues there are to request yourself, you're positive of a single thing, it requirements being perfect. these days not everybody seems as worried about discovering the great Wedding Dresses, but for the vast majority of us - deep within - it actually does matter.

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    The theme of your wedding party would be an significant place when choosing that unique dress. have you been obtaining married for the beach? If so, you may pick a gentle airy style. Have you made the decision on the formal affair? Then by all means, go all out and put on a light attire covered in silk and lace. what ever kind of celebration your wedding party will be, your attire will perform among the most significant roles in it!With the cost of weddings, some couples attempt and minimize back again by creating their personal flowers, or purchase some wedding dress in a specialized dress shop at a high price, but why don't you try to buy a cheap wedding dresse online directly. Where you can also purchase your ideal wedding dress and some new fashions. whatever style, colour or cost variety you sooner or later choose on when deciding on your wedding party dress, don't neglect that it's you your fiancé fell in adore with, not your dress. The attire adds towards ambiance from the day, however it isn't the genuine centerpiece.

    After you have selected your wedding party attire hang it inside bag it arrives in and don't display it to everybody. Give company a thing to start looking forward to once they see you for your initial time walking along the aisle. And unless it is really unavoidable, don't allow your potential husband see your attire whatsoever prior to the wedding. They say it's poor luck as well as if that's merely a superstition, it definitely does spoil his surprise!

  • Custom Buffalo Bills Jerseys||

    very good

  • MTS Конвертер||

    Thank you.

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