Brickbats
The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine has filed a suit against the government claiming the federal school breakfast program is racially biased. What's the problem? It requires schools to serve milk, and the physicians argue that this discriminates against blacks, many of whom are lactose intolerant.
Tired of the Pokemon craze? You might want to move to Quebec. The Pokemon trading cards sold there are in English only, and that violates the province's compulsory bilingualism. The manufacturer will have to come up with some French cards too, or it won't be able to sell any cards there.
The ever-vigilant New York state Sen. Guy Vellela has discovered that pro wrestling is violent, traffics in ethnic stereotypes, and features scantily clad women. Worried about what might happen to children who watch too much of the stuff, he says he might introduce a bill banning kids from attending live wrestling events.
Students at Florida's Deltonna Middle School now have two sets of schoolbooks, one for school and one for home. Deltonna, you see, is one of a growing number of schools that have banned backpacks. Officials say the rule was prompted by concerns that students might use the packs to carry guns or other contraband.
A court in Dona Ana County, New Mexico, has ruled that people can't be cut from juries just because they don't speak English. So are interpreters allowed in the deliberation room now? And if interpreters are allowed, does each non-English speaker get one?
Ever since Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson declared Microsoft a monopoly and a bully, dozens of lawsuits have been filed against the company. But in their haste to shake down Microsoft, some attorneys apparently failed to learn a few key facts. One suit filed in California identified the firm as being in the generic drug business. Another suit claims that the company is principally located "within the state of Texas." That same suit says it will represent people who bought computers from the "MacIntosh Computer Company." It also lists as possible plaintiffs those who have purchased Windows 2000–which hadn't been released when the suit was filed.
Some nations have gun control. Colombia has cement control. Farmers there often mix coca leaves with cement and other ingredients to get what is known as cocaine base. That base is later sold to drug traffickers who process it to get pure cocaine. Not only does Colombia now restrict the amount of cement anyone can buy, it also has given the police and army special powers to seize cement from those suspected of being in the drug trade.
Irish censors have banned In Dublin, a mainstream magazine used by tourists and locals to find out what's happening in the city. The problem isn't the editorial content. It's the ads. The magazine has several small advertisements listing phone numbers for massage parlors and sex chat lines. The censors refuse to say exactly which ads they found offensive, which has left the publisher confused, since most of the ads also appear in other magazines that haven't been banned.
Brazilian bikinis may be the tiniest in the world; many are just small scraps that could fit into an envelope. But there's still enough material there to depict the Brazilian flag. A Senate panel, aggrieved that the national symbol might appear near a woman's genitalia, has passed a bill outlawing the use of the flag on any item of underwear or clothing, especially the notorious "dental floss" swimsuits.
Mayor Cecil Bjork of River Falls, Wisconsin, faces charges of disorderly conduct for allegedly grabbing reporter Sue Odegard in a bookstore and shaking her several times. Bjork was reportedly upset by an editorial cartoon.
At a chess tournament on the Spanish island of Menorca, the players had to provide a urine sample for drug testing. Presumably, any player caught taking steroids was immediately disqualified.