Daily Brickbat

Absurd news bites, served fresh every day.

Charles Oliver from the January 2000 issue

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Privacy Rules (2/19)
Joynal Abedin's family worried about him when he didn't return home from work. For more than two weeks, they wondered where he was. Then they got a $17,000 bill from the Washington Hospital Center in the District of Columbia. His wife rushed to the hospital to see if the bill had anything to do with her husband. But citing federal privacy rules, the hospital told her nothing. A day later, after visiting the D.C. medical examiner's office, she found out he'd been killed in a hit and run accident. The family wants to know why the police were unable to find them and tell them, but the hospital was able to find them to send a bill.

When in France... (2/18)
As France prepares to ban the display in public schools of religious symbols, such as the veils worn by some Muslim women, one official says the government could also ban beards if they are expressions of religious faith. "As soon as it becomes a religious sign and the code is apparent, it would fall under this law," said Education Minister Luc Ferry.

Legal Tender (2/17)
Curtis Smith wants his money back. Smith was sleeping in his truck on a lot he owns, when St. Louis police arrested him on suspicion of driving under the influence. The police ultimately did not charge him. But while he was being processed Mayor Adrian Wright saw police counting Smith's money, which included a rare $1,000 bill, several hundreds and a few $2 bills. Wright allegedly wanted the $1,000 note and got 10 $100 bills, which he had police substitute for it when they stored Smith's money. Collectors typically pay between $1,300 and $3,500 for such a bill, depending upon its condition. When Smith was released, he was given $3,231 in cash, representing the face value of the money taken from him, but not his $1,000 bill.

See No Evil (2/13)
France is considering a bill that will force Internet service providers to block material that excuses crimes against humanity and promotes race crimes or face legal sanctions. It will also hold ISPs liable if their users illegally download or share intellectual property. The bill is actually France's attempt to codify European Union directives on electronic commerce. But ISPs say that any attempts to block prohibited material will likely stop legal material from being transmitted too.

Alert and At Attention (2/12)
When someone placed a black plastic bag near the Washington Monument and left it, no one paid much attention. They should have. It was a test by the Interior Department to see how Park Police would handle a suspicious package. The bag was first placed at the rear of the monument for 20 minutes, then at a security checkpoint for 15 minutes. No one noticed it. In fact, the only police officer around appeared to be asleep.

Top Secret (2/11)
The Greek Cypriot army is trying to find out how top secret ground plans for military bases wound up in a dump. A truck driver found the papers, which contain details such as the technical specifications for weapons launch sites and the thickness of walls at sentry posts on the island's cease-fire line with Turkey.

And You Thought Paddlings Were Bad? (2/10)
After a rumor started that a 13-year-old student at Okeeheelee Middle School in West Palm Beach had a gun, police searched the boy. They found nothing, but principal David Samore still wanted to question the student. He allegedly put a toy gun to the boy's neck. Samore says he was trying to show the student that even toy guns can frighten people. Samore was suspended for 10 days without pay. When he returned to the school, teachers welcomed him with yellow ribbons, balloons, flowers, and a plaque.

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign (2/9)
Trying to sell a home in Helena, Montana, has gotten a little bit more difficult. City law says commercial signs can be no more than four square feet. But the signs real estate agents typically put up in yards push the six square foot mark. The zoning commission has recommended allowing real estate signs of up to five square feet to be placed in yards. The city commission is looking into the issue of real estate signs and mulling changes in the law.

Judge Not (2/6)
Two teenage boys were having a snowball fight in the German town of Leuneburg, when an errant snowball hit a nearby home. A man emerged from the house with a shotgun and fired two rounds, striking one of the boys. The shooter was a 55-year-old judge. Police have confiscated his shotgun and are investigating the shooting.

Wired (2/5)
Five years ago, North Carolina started an effort to put all of the state's public schools on one computer network. The state has spent $113 million so far, and it expects the tab to total at least $150 million. But just six of the state's 117 school districts are now on line, and that's as part of a trial. And the teachers who are on the network say it's difficult to gain access to the network or to do even simple things such as enter daily attendance.

Who Guards the Guardians? (2/4)
Officials at the Pentagon's Defense Contract Audit Agency are supposed to uncover fraud and waste in government contracts. But the agency is now charged with spending 1,139 man-hours altering its own files to pass an internal review. The agency actually brought in help from other offices to change the files, costing taxpayers some $1,600 in travel expenses.

Strange Coincidence (2/3)
Michael Di Biase has been charged three times in the last 15 months with running a red light. Two of the tickets were withdrawn after the York Region, Canada, police officers who wrote them didn't show up for court, even though police policy is that officers must show up in court for every ticket they write. The third just disappeared. Di Biase is mayor of the city of Vaughn.

Stating the Obvious (2/2)
Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch has revealed the results of its seventh annual Wacky Warning Label Contest. The top prize went to this warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product." Second place went to this warning on a snow sled: "Beware: sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions." Another award went to the package for a five-inch fishing hook which told buyers it was "Harmful if swallowed."

Duty Minded (1/30)
Kentucky State Police got reports that a drunken duo in a law enforcement cruiser were making traffic stops. Meanwhile, officials in Lewis County were worried because a jailer transporting a prisoner from Knox County hadn't arrived. When the police finally caught up to the cruiser, they found jailer Clarence Wilson and inmate Shawn Phillip Reynolds, both apparently intoxicated. Wilson was charged with drunken driving, impersonating a peace officer, unlawful imprisonment, and official misconduct. Reynolds, who is serving five years for credit card fraud, and burglary, was charged with intoxication.