Zen and the Art of Persuasive Writing: Impactful Introductions
A great introduction is fine art, crafted with great care and purpose. A first impression matters. If the reader never reads past the first paragraph, he will never read your brilliant narrative or argument. An introduction should offer context and grab the reader's interest. Persuasive writers craft introductions to arrest the lazy eye. At a minimum, that means a killer first sentence and a roadmap.
A. The First Sentence or Paragraph
An opening line should invite the reader to begin the story. It should say: Listen. Come in here. You want to know about this. How can a writer extend an appealing invitation; one that's difficult, even, to refuse? —Stephen King
The first sentence or paragraph of your motion or missive is choice location—Manhattan skyline. It presents a singular chance to set the scene, strike the tone, persuade, connect and impress.
Clarity is essential at the start. A good beginning is clear and introduces a thread that runs through your prose.
Meditation: Do not spoil this singular chance to persuade with archaic formalism, reflexive legalese or snappy quotes from former presidents. You might think it's meaningful, but it's dead air to the reader who has no context to appreciate what you're saying.
Journalists prize the first sentence and paragraph, knowing that interest and attention wane over time. Do not waste this space by parroting the full procedural name of your motion or response, which should be available in the caption above. You know what I mean—cue the trumpets:
COMES NOW the Defendant, by and through counsel undersigned, and respectfully submits this Response in Opposition to Plaintiff Old School Unlimited, L.L.C.'s ("OSU") Motion to Dismiss for Failure to State a Claim Pursuant to Rule 12(b)(6) dated February 6, 2023.
Don't bury the lede. By my count, persuasive writers have seven overlapping, non-exclusive strategies for the first sentence or paragraph. Depending on your goals, analysis and strategy, you might fashion a first sentence to:
1. Educate with context. Persuasive writers may use the first sentence or paragraphs of briefs and motions to lay a concrete foundation on which to build their case. Legal writing is a perilous journey, so hold the reader's hand. Let's watch this strategy in action. This first example comes from the State of Arizona's motion to dismiss a local municipality's lawsuit. The municipality preemptively sued for a declaratory judgment that it need not comply with state law. In the opening sentence of its opening brief, the state offered the larger context and previewed why the city loses:
This case concerns the hierarchy of Arizona state government.
A second example is taken from the brief of a Liberian immigrant who sought refuge in America under the Convention Against Torture. In the opening sentence of his opening brief, the immigrant offers the procedural and legal context, including the type of case and relevant laws, before turning to persuasion:
This is an immigration case in which Petitioner John Doe sought but was denied a deferral of his removal to Liberia under the Convention Against Torture. Mr. Doe is a Liberian national who witnessed and experienced ghastly horrors and atrocities in his homeland, where he was forced to watch the beheading of his father and forced by rebels to watch his mother dance with the decapitated head to avoid the same fate herself. This is not contested.
With this first sentence, the reader learns the procedural posture, relevant laws, the immigrant's nation of origin and what the case is generally about, before turning to persuasion in the second and third sentences.
2. Frame the dispositive issue. The first sentence is a natural place to feature a dispositive issue. By starting with a short issue statement, the writer winnows the dispute to one question and primes the reader for more:
The only issue for this Court is whether qualified immunity shields a prosecutor from personal liability for serving and executing two court-issued seizure warrants. The answer remains "yes," and the Court should enter summary judgment against Plaintiffs on the remanded claims.
This introduction must be crafted with care because opposing counsel is sure to seize upon a poorly worded or formed issue statement.
3. Simplify the complex. The first sentence is ideal to simplify what is complex. Briefs and memos can be daunting when the law is complicated and facts are opaque. For instance, assume your case turns on a 243-page collective bargaining agreement with 40 sections, 22 subsections and 14 addenda. You might start that motion, brief or memo:
This lawsuit is about a contract.
With this sentence, the lawsuit seems plain and approachable.
4. Explain what you want. Many writers bury their request for relief, making it hard for courts to grant them relief. The first sentence is well-positioned to identify what you want.
David Inc. moves this Court for a temporary restraining order and preliminary injunction prohibiting Goliath Inc. from acquiring David's patent portfolio at a commercial auction set for July 28, 2018.
5. Draw the sting. The first sentence can elegantly draw the sting. This example comes from a lawsuit filed by several death row inmates who challenged the lethal injection protocol of the state department of corrections, which, the inmates insisted, abridged their Eighth Amendment rights. Most of the arguments lacked merit based on current binding precedent, but the state understood the death penalty was a sensitive, controversial issue, so this was the first sentence of its motion to dismiss:
While capital punishment can raise hard questions, this case does not.
Persuasive writers know that concession makes them look more reasonable and builds credibility with judicial officers.
6. Introduce a persuasive theme. The first sentence is hand-crafted to engage emotion and intellect. Grab a reader from the go. This opening sentence comes from the opening brief of same-sex marriage proponents in their quest for constitutional protection:
This case is about marriage—the most important relation in life—and equality—the most essential principle of the American dream, from the Declaration of Independence, to the Gettysburg Address, to the Fourteenth Amendment.
You want the reader to read more than the first sentence, so use that spot to gain interest and persuade.
This sentence comes from the brief of a television station sued by a person who wanted a seat on the debate stage for a nationally televised presidential debate. To persuade the court from the outset, the station started with:
This case is about a serial litigant and four-time presidential candidate named John Doe who filed three lawsuits in three federal district courts against dozens of broadcasters who were never served with process.
With this first sentence, the reader immediately knows this was not plaintiff 's first rodeo as a candidate or litigant.
A persuasive theme often requires more than one sentence or paragraph. Take this opening paragraph from a competitor's antitrust complaint against 1-800-CONTACTS:
This lawsuit is about 1-800's bold and unlawful crusade to obtain or maintain its dominant position in the direct-to-consumer market for replacement contact lenses, and the horizontal agreements that 1-800 extracted from its direct competitors to restrict output and restrain trade. Notwithstanding its carefully crafted image, 1-800 has battled to censor and impede the universe of information that can be passed on to consumers; and conspired to ensure that consumers never taste the fruits of competition.
With this first sentence, the reader learns about an anticompetitive business model and how it harms consumers.
7. Deter interest and attention. The six alternatives described above assume the writer wants the attention. But a persuasive writer knows the best opening in some cases is to deter interest and deflect attention, inviting a cursory affirmance. Move along, there's nothing to see here.
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Let's watch six of these strategies in action. Still in private practice, John Roberts represented Hartford Insurance in the wake of our national tragedy on September 11, 2001. Hartford insured the World Trade Center, yet denied the insurance claims of survivors and their families, who later sued Hartford, and it reached the Second Circuit. In Hartford's answering brief, Roberts combined many of these strategies in his first sentence:
Although the circumstances giving rise to this insurance coverage litigation are momentous, the merits of the dispute between Hartford and the Insureds present a straightforward matter of interpretation of the terms of a contract under well-settled legal principles.
With this first sentence, Roberts deployed six strategies—he drew the sting, discouraged interest and attention, educated with context, introduced a persuasive theme, simplified the complex and framed the dispositive issue.
What's so hard about that first sentence is that you're stuck with it. Everything else is going to flow out of that sentence. And by the time you've laid down the first two sentences, your options are all gone. —Joan Didion
This excerpt is taken from Zen and the Art of Persuasive Writing. Purchase now where books are sold, including Amazon.