School Sics Cops, K-9 Unit on Old Man Looking for Dandelions
Danger! Danger! Man with a weapon spotted near school!
According to insideHalton.com, the Oakville, Canada, man was armed with a kitchen knife and on the hunt—for dandelions:
A 65-year-old in search of dandelions for a recipe caused an Oakville public school to be put in a hold and secure late Monday afternoon.
The incident occurred shortly before 3 p.m. when the male was spotted walking with a small kitchen knife along the Pilgrim Wood Public School fence line, near Third Line and Upper Middle Road West.
The dogs were called out to search for this galumphing gourmet, and because no threat is too small to be treated like a nuclear attack, the schools remained "in a hold and secure" till 3:45 p.m. Buses were also temporarily suspended.
Afterward, the salad hunter (perhaps he's even a salad shooter!) was advised by the police on the "optics" of "walking around with a weapon in public."
If a "small kitchen knife" is that terrifying, imagine seeing someone walking around with a ladle (you could get beaned). Or a large spatula. Wielding a spatula in public is akin to threatening children with being lifted off the sidewalk and flipped head first into the street.
No one is safe when senior citizens start wandering around in search of free greens. No one.